Just Start

Have you ever felt like you just HAD to start something, but you felt completely inadequate for it?

Or maybe you literally had to start something (ie. Parenting), but you felt completely inadequate & unprepared for it?

Well, that’s me with this blog.

Stepping Out of Comfort Zones

I had this spark inside of me that said I NEEDED to do this blog.

I saw the darkness of this world & I understood that the world needs significantly more hope & light in it, & then I realized that I had to do whatever it took to make that happen, even if in some small way.

Not because I am a good person. Not because I am so wise & capable, but rather because I am not–& because I realize that I am not.

I need encouragement just like the next person. I fail. I fall short. I feel weak & insignificant. I am not enough.

But the world needs hope.

They NEED it.

Hope is Like Oxygen-It Gives Life

And to keep its source quiet & to cover up the light that shines in my own heart felt impossible. People need hope like air to breathe. They may not realize it, but everyone needs it.

Because we have limitations & weaknesses, we all come to the end of ourselves at times. But we try to pick ourselves back up. We try to be stronger. And sometimes, we give up.

We need HOPE.

Like oxygen.

You can “hold your breath” for a little while, but it will catch up to you… that need for hope.

Realizing My Need for God

God has shown me the end of myself, frequently, in these last many months.

He has shown me how self-concerned I am & how determined I am to rely on myself versus turning to Him as my wisdom, strength, & direction (*& HOPE).

When I have crashed & burned, I have wanted to quit, throw in the towel, & just never try again. I have felt battered & bruised & flat out DONE. I have been selfish.

Have you ever felt this way?

God Knows I Need It

But here’s the kicker….

God knew I needed to get knocked down these seemingly infinite times.

Because you know what is happening?

I am realizing the hidden sin I harbor in my heart. I have noticed my blatant disregard for listening to or obeying God when I am not comfortable & happy.

I have noticed how selfish & proud I am with my life & my happiness.

I have noticed how HUMAN I really am, just like everyone else, & it is so, so humbling.

“Neither”

Another thing that struck me out of nowhere was a little verse that I was reminded of at church, in Joshua 5…. Let me tell you the story.

Picture this… There is a man afraid of an oncoming enemy, set on destroying them all. The angel “commander of the Lord’s army” comes to him & this man’s question to the angel is this, “Are you on our side or theirs?” The angel’s response? “Neither.”

Wow. Ouch.

What a slap in the face.

That reality hit me hard.

All for God’s Glory? Or Ours?

How often do we sincerely, honestly, without ulterior motives, request for us to honor GOD’s will & to glorify GOD in every situation?

How often do we pray, not for our own comfort & happiness, but for the freedom & redemption of others & for God to receive the glory in every situation, even if it means a lack of comfort for ourselves?

How often do we lay our desires & dreams & aspirations & desperation at God’s feet, lay all of it out as a request to God, & finish with, “but let Thy will be done”?

For me, lately? Not often, I admit.

It’s Hard to See Past What We Want

With my years of living in mostly solitude, with loneliness an ever-nagging cut in my heart, I prayed for friends & comfort & happiness.

With the hardships of living in a foreign atmosphere, I prayed for comfort & escape from the stressors.

With wanting to be a size two, so that I don’t receive constant perceived & actual criticisms & judgments from others, I have prayed that God make me skinny & pretty (Versus healthy & a good steward of the body God has given me).

With ever-unanswered prayers for children, I got hurt by God’s apparent “no” & prayed for it to happen anyway, through tears of frustration.

With the struggles of insecurity & inadequacy & fears, I have prayed that God would give me peace to just quit reaching out–so I could just be comfortable.

I am the poster child for praying my will above anything else & getting hurt when the answer is “no.”

Changing Perspective

And then that verse….

How often have I cried basically the same cry of frustration & desperation? “Whose side are You on!?!”

But. God.

I should, instead, be praying to learn how to live for GOD’S SIDE.

I Am the Clay

You see, we often overlook one very important thing when we pray…. God is SOVEREIGN.

He is GOD. He is the King of kings, Lord of lords, Creator of the universe, Redeemer of sin debts, Father, Lover of our souls, GOD OF ALL.

He doesn’t answer to us.

He chooses to bless us & help us & love us with blessings. He promises to be our strength & to give us peace & to renew our hearts & minds with a clean slate. He gives us SO MUCH.

But HE. IS. STILL. GOD.

Letting Him Rule Our Hearts

It’s hard to live in disappointment when you measure all prayers against that very important fact.

God is GOD & we are not.

How silly it is for me to tell God “how it should be” when He sees all & knows all & sees how it all fits together from the beginning of time to the end.

He knows much better than we do of what we need & what we think we need, but which will actually harm us in the end.

He is Worth It All

He is worth trusting.

He is worth laying all of our cries of desperation & longing at His capable & loving & all-knowing “feet”.

He is so so so so so so so worth it.

To Sum It All Up

So, here’s my encouragement for you today….

Do you have hidden (or obvious) sins in your life that you excuse away? Do you have dreams that are more important to you than anything? Do you have hurts that ache you to the core & make you want to stay in bed forever? Do you feel weak & incapable? Do you have longings that cut you deeply, even understandable ones?

Then lay them at HIS feet.

Do you trust Him enough to be Lord of your life? Do you trust Him enough to follow Him, hand in hand, through the storms of life? Do you trust Him when the answer is “no”?

Talk to God About It

Say, “God, I want this [or, I want this to end], but I know You are God & I am not. Help me to trust Your will & plan, & help me to trust Your goodness. You know my longing & hurt, but you are Sovereign. Teach me to trust You through this. Keep my eyes on You through the storm. Help me to trust Your way above my own. You have a plan. Reveal to me Your love & goodness despite Your response. To YOU be the glory, forever & ever. Amen.”

That is my prayer lately. As God has been revealing my depravity & the weaknesses that I too often ignore or excuse away, I have been learning to realize that this life isn’t about me… It’s about God. Loving & serving Him with my life to bless the lives around me & shine hope into their lives, is what it’s all about.

To God be the Glory

He is Sovereign. He knows best. May I learn to trust that to the very core of everything I ever believe or desire or hurt over. May I trust my Loving Father, the God of the universe. May He receive all the glory from my efforts.

Amen.

Shine hope, lovelies… But you don’t have to do it alone. God can fill in the gaps. Just trust Him with those gaps & do that thing.

Coming Next Week

Check back next Monday morning for my next post! I am praying for you. I may not know who you are, but I know God has a plan for your life & it is my goal to encourage you, so I am praying for you.

See you next week, Lovely!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Unity Necklace

Empowering Women Artisans in Haiti!

Upcycled beads made from glass and clay from Haiti’s mountains hang on a silver plated chain.

Artisan Information:

Haiti had this century’s worst natural disaster and is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of the orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths or natural disasters, but by parents who gave them up simply because they could not feed them. The group we work with is an “un-orphanage” and is helping with the orphan crisis by providing parents with sustainable business through creating products.

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Haiti!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!!

Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!