Forgiveness Is Important to God
Forgiveness is a pretty big deal to God. So much so that He set the ultimate example in that “while we were still sinners, Jesus Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
But it’s something that is very challenging for me.
It’s not that I hold grudges or get pouty, but if someone is intentionally spiteful or if I see a Christian, who represents Jesus Christ, misrepresenting Him, I can feel an immediate wall go up between me & that person.
I understand that we can sharpen one another as iron sharpen iron (Proverbs 27:17) & that certain circumstances require loving confrontation to correct the wrong (2 Timothy 4:1-5) (Ephesians 4:15), but in the case of someone who is unrepentant or uncaring, we are called to forgive anyway. (Matthew 18:21-22)
Not Understanding
Learning to forgive is something I have been praying over for the last couple of years or so.
… Not that I mean to be unforgiving, but I struggle even understanding what it means TO forgive.
Some people describe forgiveness as a “forgive & forget,” while others say “forgive but be smart & never forget.” Still others act like forgiveness means completely excusing the wrongs committed.
Apologies Go a LONG WAY
In my past, I have often had people say very hurtful things to me that caused a lot of emotional scarring on my heart, only to have that person brush it off after their emotions calmed down, implying to me that their hot emotions justified their hurtful words.
This sort of behavior can be quite harmful, as it makes the victim feel to blame.
That is why it is so important, if you emotionally lash out at someone, whether they be your child, spouse, parent, friend, or stranger—to apologize—to take responsibility for it & express remorse to the person wronged.
Taking the Burden on Myself
On my end, I cultivated an even more dangerous habit in response… I began holding on to their wrongs myself, as if me deciding to let them go justified those wrongs somehow. In my opinion, those wrongs needed to be seen as wrong & if the person wouldn’t acknowledge it, my heart wouldn’t let it go.
I wanted that wrong to be treated as a wrong versus being swept away as if justified.
But that’s not my job. I don’t need to bear that burden or responsibility.
Jesus paid for those wrongs. God is the Judge.
Not me.
My Journey with Forgiveness
And that’s what God has been teaching me in my quest to understand the meaning & practical application of forgiveness.
I don’t have to hold on to those wrongs.
God knows those wrongs are wrong. God is the Righteous & Perfect Judge. HE can & will handle it, even if that means it being covered on the cross when Jesus paid our debt before God.
And then the Holy Spirit brought a passage in Matthew 18 to mind. (In other words, God brought in “the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God” (Ephesians 6:17) aka RHEMA, where He seems to highlight a section of Scripture meant to deal directly with what you have been seeking God for help with.)
The Unforgiving Servant
This passage in Matthew 18 contains a parable (story told in the Bible to illustrate a specific Truth from God) about the Unforgiving Servant. Read about him below:
“Then Peter came to Him [Jesus] & said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, & I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife & children & all that he had, & that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, & I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, & forgave him the debt.
“But that servant went out & found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; & he laid hands on him & took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So, his fellow servant fell down at his feet & begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, & I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went & threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So, when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, & came & told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, & delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
“So, My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.” (Matthew 18:21-35)
A Truth from the Parable
As you can see from this parable, unforgiveness is no joking matter to God. He takes it very seriously.
And in His seemingly harsh reaction to it, we can be tempted to forget that the punishment threatened here is exactly what we deserve.
Actually, we deserve Hell because of our “infractions” aka SIN against God, but instead of demanding we suffer or pay, He covered our debt through His compassion for us.
But then for us, having been forgiven SO MUCH by HIM, to go & NOT forgive so much LESS from others… well, in God’s eyes, it is deserving of the wrath we had been spared.
We need to be careful not to hold what others owe us over their heads.
Because God surely doesn’t do that to us, & if He did, we would surely be crushed under the weight of all we would owe Him.
Forgiveness Even When Found Guilty
In that story, the fellow servant owed the original servant. It’s not that the servant was innocent & “deserving” of forgiveness. The servant owed money & deserved repercussions for not paying what was owed.
But that first servant was called to forgive anyway… because he had been forgiven a debt far greater.
Dealing with Unforgiveness
Forgiveness seems impossible when I am only looking at what others owe me or at the wrongs they have done against me… when I see their lack of innocence as glaringly obvious….
… But then, when I compare their debt to myself & my forgiven debt to God….
… And ask God to help me let go & let Him take His seat as Redeemer & Judge…
… Then it’s a lot harder for me to keep holding on to that unforgiveness against their wrongs.
Because I deserve GOD’s wrath, but He forgave me & covered my debt when I asked Him to cover me. He had compassion on me.
Let Go, Let God, Pray & Forgive
I need to remember that when I am wronged. I need to pray for them who persecute me & love those who make themselves my enemy (Matthew 5:44) & consider their payment as also coverable by Jesus’ blood, just as mine was covered.
And I need to forgive, let go, & let God.
Shine Hope by letting God sit in the Judge’s seat & by trusting Him to handle it… because that’s not your burden to bear anymore or ever.
Coming Next Week
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Artisan Story
Vishnu’s Story of Hope:
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