But Really… What Is It?

I often talk about hope. But growing up, if I heard someone talk about “shining hope” or how “we need hope,” I probably would have rolled my eyes.

I think part of the reason for this reaction is that I didn’t really understand hope, or my need of it.

I thought it was just this vague happy thought… I thought it was dreaming of an unrealistic ideal or wishful thinking about what “could be.”

But, to me, this idea of dreaming for hope seemed sort of pointless….

Isn’t Life Just LIFE—Make the Most of It Until You Die? No.

I mean, what is the point of hope, really? Life just IS & you just have to make the most of it… nothing more… you don’t have any control over that… or so I felt.

But, the more that I seek after knowing God more & growing my love for Him, the more this “vague, pointless daydreaming about hope” seems more tangible & actual… a real thing to be sought after.

What God Says = Fact

You see, I am finding that everything God SAYS is true in the Bible, is actually very & completely true. It is FACT… Including the very actual reality of HOPE.

So, if life seems to be quite in contradiction to how God says it is… it is not that God is wrong, but rather that Satan has effectively distorted our view of the truth, thus creating his goal all along of helping us to doubt God & God’s truth & goodness.

Satan distorts our idea of Truth through his thorns, chains, jabs, tricks, “promises” with fine print consequences, & just plain old lies.

And we, trying to come up with our idea of “truth” are often easily manipulated & deceived.

But what if we determine to NOT trust Satan’s lies or even our own judgement, but determine to toss all else aside & ONLY trust GOD’S Truth, whether we understand it to be possible or not?

Amazing things begin to happen, I will tell you that… because I have seen it.

I Have Seen His “Impossible” Hope Change Me

For example, growing up, I felt very unworthy of others’ affection or attention. I felt fat & ugly & awkward. I felt like the tagalong friend of every group, just hoping to not make any mistakes so they would keep me around.

And I dressed for attention… shirts that went too low & shorts that were as short as I could get away with… I thought that was the only way to be worth keeping around.

Eventually, it got worse. I began to notice the “value” my words had on those around me—especially the guys—in flirting & saying inappropriate jokes… it seemed to earn me value points & made me feel I was more worthy of being kept around.

But something felt off about it. I felt like they didn’t really like me… like they only liked the part I played for them to like me… that I couldn’t ever drop the game or my worth & value would plummet in their opinions.

Unwanted Attention

So, I kept it up, earning along the way some unwanted advances & even several cases of assault because I claimed to want it & I was too embarrassed to admit that I’d rather them not. I didn’t want to seem too rigid or too boring or anything else negative that would make them realize I wasn’t a friend worth keeping around.

And I died a little bit inside every time. I felt used & cheap. I felt like trash, used up & tossed aside.

But, I felt like life was just that way… if you wanted to be wanted, you do what it takes, make the most of it, & just live with the consequences.

Hope seemed a vague, silly, unrealistic ideal… so I kept up with my plan & kept playing the part, taking on the identity of the group flirt… feeling hurt & trapped by this new identity but not seeing any real way around it.

But Then… I Decided to Give Hope a Chance… & Asked God for Help

I kept going to church with my family & doing all the “good Christian” things, but something inside me was crying for a love & affection that didn’t seem to cost so much.

I felt emptier & emptier, but resolved that it was better than being all alone & unwanted.

Until I started asking God about it.

It dawned on me, probably a reminder nudge from the Holy Spirit looking out for me, that God made me… & if God made me, then God knows who I am & how He created me to be, probably even better than I did.

So, I started asking Him to show me just that & my prayers turned to Him for a new solution… a new HOPE.

A Prayer Seeking HOPE

“God, I feel empty & hurt. I’m scared of being alone & unwantable. I am trying to fit in & do what I need to to be liked, but it hurts me. Is it meant to be this way? I am not trying to be sinful—I am not having sex—I feel like I just AM a flirt, like I can’t help it, & it seems to be one of the only things people seem to like about me… & my crude humor. But, You made me. So, You know what You made me to be. You know my design. So, help me see THAT. Help me see how YOU made me, even if it doesn’t match this design I have made for myself as the group flirt. I want YOUR design. Please help me see it. Help me see & live YOUR design for me. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Starting to Let Myself HOPE

I prayed something similar to that prayer for months, longing to feel wanted & loved without the cost of my dignity or having to keep up certain actions just to feel I was worth something to someone else.

In other words, I was starting to let myself HOPE.

I was starting to let myself hope that maybe, just maybe, God was right… even though it seemed to go against everything I knew to be possible… that maybe life didn’t have to be this way… maybe I could hope for MORE.

What Is Hope?

And, as just ONE example of more than I could even possibly recall to share with you, amazing things began to happen when I trusted God’s HOPE over my own perceived, lived “reality.”

During that period of prayer, wondering “what is hope?”… “can I hope for something more?”… something in me began to shift… confidence began to take root… I no longer felt such a strong need to feel wanted or needed or seen… I felt sure enough of myself without pandering to others’ ideas of what they wanted me to be & to just BE.

And this isn’t just for this ONE type of life situation or circumstance… God is in the business of sprouting HOPE into our lives—even where it seems impossible—HE MAKES A WAY.

You see, this isn’t JUST hope in forgiveness before God for our sin, through Jesus paying our debt to God FOR us as we accept His gift of redemption… but it is an EVERY DAY HOPE for RIGHT NOW.

Jesus Came to Show Us There IS HOPE

“The thief came only to steal, kill, & destroy, but I [Jesus] came to give LIFE & to give it MORE ABUNDANTLY.” (John 10:10) (emphasis mine)

Don’t accept Satan’s tainted “truth” as a life you just have to survive & make the most of it… determine to trust that when Jesus says He came to give life & life more abundantly, that HE MEANT IT.

Trust God’s way of doing things. Trust & do what God says.

Trust that GOD IS IN THE BUSINESS OF HOPE, even in the most “impossible” of circumstances.

Shine Hope because HOPE in life, through God, is REAL.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

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A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for almost THREE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Silver Medallion Necklace

This textured silver-tone chain from India can be worn separately or layered with other necklaces from our One World Collection. The uniquely textured pendant adds the perfect artistic touch. Three length options allow you to choose your comfort & style. Every necklace has variations as a part of the Artisan-made charm! Every purchase provides fair-trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

In India, poverty often leads to exploitation of vulnerable Artisans in sweatshops. Every purchase provides these Artisans with fair wages, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members. 

Purchase this necklace & empower an Artisan in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!