Are You Ever So Angry You Don’t Want to NOT be Angry?
Silly question, here, but… have you ever been angry with someone? How about SO angry that you don’t want to NOT be angry with them? Because, well, “they deserve it!”
Yeah, me too.
When I am low on sleep, (especially but not exclusively), I tend to be short-tempered. Not short-tempered in the sense of screaming & throwing a fit & road rage, etc. but more like smile while seething type of short-tempered.
Have you ever done that? Get so mad at someone, but you don’t want to show that you’re completely losing your patience, so you just grit your teeth until you can scream into a pillow later?
I have.
And when I am in that anger, there is no where else I would rather be. I sometimes don’t want to NOT be angry.
I Justify My Anger… But God Beckons Me to Entrust It to Him
No really, I know I cry & whine in my head about how much they are aggravating me or testing my patience & oh how I wish they wouldn’t put me through this turmoil… but really, deep down, I feel a gentle nudge from God that I want to justify away & into the oblivion.
God beckons me to trust Him in my anger. To ENTRUST it to Him. To ask for His strength & peace & for Him to hold me steady & sure with His faithful love. And to ask for His help in forgiveness & long-suffering, bear-with-one-another LOVE toward the other person (see also, “love your enemies & pray for those who persecute you.”) (Luke 6:27-28)
Well, that is usually the EXACT OPPOSITE how I think those situations ought to be handled. NO. Someone has to pay for their wrongs! They have to apologize & never do it again! They have to recognize THEY HURT ME & feel for me! I DESERVE TO BE ANGRY WITH THEM!!!!
Yeah, ^^^ a little glimpse there into that “nonexistent” short-temperedness I was talking about.
But God asks me to entrust it to Him. To let HIM handle it. To forgive.
God Wants to Help Me Through It… If I am Willing to Entrust My Anger & Hurts to Him
I’m not so great with the whole “be gracious & quick to forgive & love your enemies & pray for them” stuff. I often (okay, USUALLY) fail at bowing those hurts & that short-tempered anger to God for His help.
I know He wants me to find peace & rest by coming to Him with it. I know He wants to strengthen me & be my calm in the storm. I know He wants me to ask Him for help in forgiveness & patience & all that.
But I usually don’t quite feel like giving Him that.
I honestly thought for a good long while that I was justified in that. I mean, I can’t HELP that I feel that hurt & anger. I don’t TRY to be hurt or angry. It just HAPPENS.
But in the middle of that anger (or inner boiling rage depending on the time of month), God beckons me to trust Him with all of those bad feelings & to entrust it to Him for His help in it & through it.
Be Willing to Wave the Flag of Surrender (to God) When You Want to Raise a Battle Cry Instead
But I have to be willing to lay down that cry for battle, unclench my fists, take a deep breath & humble myself for God’s will & way over what I am feeling is deserved in any given moment.
If God lived by emotions, I would go straight to Hell. So would you & everyone else.
But thank God for JESUS—am I right? Thank You, GOD!
If anyone has a right to be mad at anyone, it’s God with us…. And yet… JESUS.
And as much as I sometimes HATE to admit it… Jesus died for other people’s mistakes, too… even the ones I really, really hate.
“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
Let God Handle It
God tells us in Romans to leave room for HIS wrath (Romans 12:19), because He alone is the righteous Judge over heaven & earth… to let HIM handle it when others wrong us versus going vigilante on them in reality or your imagination.
I’m not good at it. I want them to see the pain they caused me when it happens. I want them to feel it & feel sorry & apologize, but that is selfish & oftentimes, wish as I may, that will never happen anyway because sometimes people are just clueless or just plain don’t care. And then that anger & hurt breeds into bitterness that begins a slow (or very rapid) rot in our hearts.
And God knows this.
He also knows that when WE hold on OURSELVES, that inevitably, we begin to build walls of self-protection, that prevent us from being vulnerable & gentle & open to others, distrust having built a moat around our willingness to serve & love others.
So, I need to learn to let God handle it.
A Prayer of Surrender
So my prayer is that God help me lay down my banner for war. That He help me unclench my fists & jaw. That He help me be willing to lay it all down at His feet & say:
“God, I know You know this already, but that really hurt me! I just want to scream & angry & hold in anger for them. I want them to see what they did in their reckless words or slander or whatever else. I want them to understand how wrong it was & apologize. I just feel so hurt & angry right now. But you tell me to be angry, without sin (Ephesians 4:26). You tell me to love my enemy & to pray for those who persecute me. I just feel I can’t, so please help me trust You in this hurt. Forgive them & forgive me for wanting to hold onto the rage myself versus trusting You with it. Help me to submit those hurts at Your feet & to be willing to receive help from You. You know best. You care for my hurt heart. Help me to know Your love can fill the hole they made, if I but let You. Help me trust You better. Amen.”
Am I Willing to Let Go of My Anger & Entrust It to God?
Are you quick to forgive or do you stuff it or rage or let bitterness simmer under the surface?
Are you willing to let God into the situation? Into the feelings of hurt & anger & ask for His peace, wisdom, strength, care, & help loving whoever feels like (or is) your enemy in the moment?
Ask yourself: Am I Willing to Let Go of My Anger & Entrust It to God?
Let God in. Ask for Him to step in. Ask for help in loving that other person. Let God’s love, through Jesus, WIN.
Shine hope by not justifying seething in hurt or angry feelings, but rather entrusting those feelings to God for His help in & through it.
Coming Next Week
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Ellora Necklace Set (India)
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