If the Church Isn’t Talking about It…
I know this is an uncomfortable topic, but as someone once said to me, “if the church isn’t talking about it, then we’re only hearing what the world says about it.” So let’s not let that happen, because the Bible sure isn’t shy about it.
Whether it’s an innocent-seeming, secret, “harmless” sexual compromise habit like pornography, or even more easily justified—fantasizing sexual thoughts… or whether it’s adultery or desiring someone of the same sex or wanting to be a different gender or whatever your thing may be… whether you’re blatant & confident & bold in it… or whether it’s a hidden secret you have tucked away in shame, the world says we feel icky about it because of those who don’t validate our desires.
The truth we cannot see is that even if the WHOLE WORLD validated it… it would STILL feel icky.
Why? Because deep, deep down, our soul KNOWS God is not pleased… that God did not make us for that… that we are dishonoring the God Who made us, working to go against His design.
But justify we do, do we not?
We Make Excuses for It… Satan Knows Where to Hit Us…
Whether it’s an “I was born like this & don’t try to be this way!” Or whether it’s an “it’s not hurting ANYONE because no one even KNOWS about it!” Or whether it’s a desire so strong it feels impossible to believe you could ever feel any way differently & just resign to it being “just the way you are.”
Satan’s lies feel so good, don’t they? So satisfying. So validating. So EMPOWERING. So convincing.
But poisonous they are. Subtly deadly.
”When We Lay It All at the Feet of Jesus”
I saw a powerful video the other day about a woman who called herself “trans” & believed herself to be a man SO STRONGLY that it SICKENED her to even consider differently. Her husband? … Wanted to be with a man. They even INSISTED the person who married them address them as Mr. & Mr. So & so.
But however long into their marriage, something cracked in all of this.
Something broke through… the truth of God & the grace brought through Jesus Christ.
They discovered that all that time that they felt God was “trying to take something away from them,” that when they actually “surrendered it all at the feet of Jesus,” they discovered that God ACTUALLY wanted to BLESS them through HIS WAY ABUNDANTLY beyond what they ever imagined possible.
God restored them body & soul. She no longer desired identifying as a man, but desired Christ. He no longer desired to be with a man sexually & realized it was her all along. And they both surrendered their feelings, their desires, their “just the way I am” to a God Who knows BETTER THAN THEM… Who MADE them.
And they discovered the beautiful reality that God really actually did know better than them all along.
Beautiful!
God Redeems! God Breaks Chains! God Gives Freedom!
Then, I have someone I know personally who has struggled, as a man, with a desire to be with other men. It was a lifelong struggle for decades upon decades. He brought shame & hurt on his family with his choices, convinced he was in the right to act as he did, other than the hurt wreckage his choices brought in their wake.
For years, he seemed to wrestle with “still wanting what he wanted,” but when a life-threatening condition hit… he was forced to wrecken with the reality of heaven & hell. And God brought him to his knees, where he left it all at the cross.
God has transformed his life from a life of chains, brought on by his dishonoring-to-God desires, to a life of FREEDOM & RENEWAL.
He now takes all he has faced, believed, & surrendered to openly help others who wrestle with God & addiction to harmful, dishonoring-to-God chains, find the same freedom that he found when he finally “laid it all down at the feet of Jesus.”
I Have Been Deceived… I Have Felt the Chains of My Own Choices…
Same for me. I am no exception.
As a child, I was flipping channels on our 5-channel selection back then & I was maybe in single digits age. I saw a flash of a woman without clothes from the side view & it implanted in my brain forever (leading to a lifelong addiction of sexual fantasies from the curiosity it ignited in me—PARENTS, WATCH WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE WATCHING!! I HAVE PLAYED A CHILDREN’S GAME WHERE THEY HAD FAKE PORN ADS WITH REAL PEOPLE—FULLY CLOTHED BUT THRUSTING LIKE PRETEND SEX—WATCH WHAT YOUR KIDS WATCH!!!)
For years & years, I convinced myself of my innocence. I was fooled so deeply by the lies of Satan that it sounded so right. The Holy Spirit tried to warn me & I didn’t listen because I had loopholes upon loopholes to convince myself it was harmless—no sex before marriage, no porn, “they” were never real people so I wasn’t “committing adultery in my thoughts because they weren’t real people,” no one knew about it… “no harm, no foul.”
But there was harm. I became addicted. Simple things were no longer enough. It got worse. I was shackled & could no longer feel strong enough to convince myself to trust God’s way out (because He will ALWAYS provide one, but you have to be willing to take it). (1 Corinthians 10:13)
My “Secret” Choices Still Caused Hurt
And when I got married, the damage had been done. 2 decades of damage had been done.
I no longer felt safe being vulnerable with a real, actual person—my own husband. I never felt comfortable not having complete control over every bit of it—like my perfectly curated fantasies, where every bit was imagined & not real. I never felt safe enough to connect that way in real life. I would check out. I would feel scared of someone else desiring me because I didn’t feel in control.
It hurt my marriage because of my addiction & because of my choices.
My sexual compromise was indeed not freeing at all. It shackled me, chained me, prevented me from enjoying the real thing with my own husband.
Sexual Compromise-Seems Freeing, But Brings Only Chains
You can justify it all, my friend. But God knows. He knows the TRUTH. And He warns us of that truth. He provides a way out. But we HAVE TO BE WILLING to let HIM be God & let Him call the shots. You have to be willing to “lay it all down at the feet of Jesus.”
Until you do that, the chains shall remain.
And you can blame anyone & everyone. You can say you feel that subtle little twinge of not-rightness because of EVERYONE ELSE NOT ACCEPTING YOU THE WAY YOU ARE… but that icky feeling will remain right up until you are finally willing to “lay it all down at the feet of Jesus.”
“For the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” (Proverbs 9:10) for it means you are finally willing to accept that God is GOD… & you, my friend, are not.
Shine HOPE by dropping those sexual compromise CHAINS—your will, your way, your desires, your opinions, your “just-the-way-I-ams,” & laying them ALL down at the feet of Jesus.
Coming Next Week
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Soleia Clutch (INDIA)
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