I’m Not Worthy… & I’m Not Just Saying That
This is a question that I wrestle with sometimes: “Why, of all people, do I write a blog?”
I wouldn’t think of myself as the best writer. I’m not especially self-motivated. I don’t feel I am a very faithful person when it comes to God. I fail God so much. I’m selfish & lazy. I feel tired a lot. I struggle with depression. Why me?
Some seasons seem to be the same topic on repeat. Some are bland, honestly. Not the most exciting. Sometimes I feel like a voice in the wind, like it’s so small an impact that it doesn’t really matter all that much. So, why me?
It Looks Like It’s All About Me… When It’s Not
And trust me, I struggle with my website name as well, being named after me, as if I am proclaiming to the world that I am the one to come to for all the answers, as if I am showcasing myself to the world as their source of hope. I’m not.
In fact, when I took the course that taught me how to design & create my own website, we were actually encouraged to name the site after ourselves because, we were told, people want to invest in people—not just ideas. It’s a way to make it personal, not just a generic concept or message.
But I honestly struggle with how others may perceive that choice to mean about how I view myself & my right to be doing this at all. As if, MICHELLE HYDE ONLINE is IT. I’m not worthy of that.
God Leads the Unexpected
But, all that to say, I don’t know why me. I don’t know why God put this on my heart in 2017. I don’t know why, when I prayed about it in all my concerns & apprehensions, He confirmed for me time & time again, guiding the whole process along the way, eventually drawing my attention to a course in my budget to teach me how, addressing every question I had been praying about for months.
And when I prayed about all of my many shortcomings—why I felt He was picking the wrong person—God kept washing this understanding over my heart over & over again: “It’s not about pointing the world to yourself as their hope… it’s about pointing them to Me as their hope. You don’t have to hold all the answers… but to point to Me as the One Who does. Not showing yourself to be strong… but pointing to Me as your strength.”
I don’t get it right all the time. I am okay admitting that. I feel like a bore sometimes, with nothing original or fresh to say. I feel like I sound like a fool sometimes even.
But I know where my hope comes from. I know where I can be sure my faith is proven true. I know how to have a steady foundation when the world falls out from under me. I know Who I can count on when I royally screw it all up.
Trying to be a Faithful Steward, Even in the “I Don’t Understands”
And I will continue to use this little, small, inconsequential, barely noticeable corner of the internet to keep shining for Jesus. He is the way. He is the truth. He is the life. No one comes to the Father [God] except through Him. No one. (John 14:6)
All Else but Jesus Will Fail You
You can try to search for hope in being a good person. It will fail you.
You can try to search for hope in love & feeling wanted/wantable. It will fail you.
You can try to search for hope in wealth or at least financial security. It will fail you.
You can try to search for hope in a bottle, in drugs, in sex. It will fail you.
You can try to search for hope through validation or success. It will fail you.
You can try to search for hope in getting married & having babies. It will fail you.
You can try to search for hope through a pursuit of happiness. It will fail you.
You can try to search for hope through your own adequacies & self-sufficiency. It will fail you.
I will fail you.
I’ve tried so much of the above through seasons of rebellion & doubt, when I have strayed & believed lies. It all fails.
But God Never Fails… Never… Not Once
But God never does. Like the returning prodigal son, practicing his apology on the way, only to see his father run to him with open arms, embracing him before he could utter a word. That’s how God has been to me. (Luke 15:20)
Like the lost sheep, He, like a Good Shepherd, keeps seeking me. He never gives up on me. (John 10:11; Matthew 18:12-14; Luke 19:10)
He is love. (1 John 4:8) He is kind & patient & long-suffering. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) He is gentle & faithful, even when I am not.
A prayer of thanksgiving that I pray every night is this: “Thank You, Lord, for never giving up on me.” It’s a big deal!
Why Do I, of All People, Write a Blog?
I’m not the best at this. I’m not the most profound or engaging, always with some fresh word to offer you & inspire you. I am not as faithful a steward with this website He has entrusted to me as I ought to be. I am just a little voice on the internet, shining my little light in the darkness, hoping someone will see it & find their way to hope.
“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.
“He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.” (John 3:17-21)
His way is the only way. No compromise. No deviation. HIS way. Because HE IS the way.
Shine for Christ… That’s Why I, of All People, Write a Blog
“Lord, I know You didn’t choose me because I’m the best at it or because I am especially deserving, but because I am willing to stand up & say that You are where my hope comes from. May others see that truth through my life, even in all my many weaknesses & failures & shortcomings, & come to find that their only true hope for HOPE… is YOU… ALONE. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”
Shine HOPE by being willing to be a voice in the darkness, even if you feel inadequate or ill-prepared. Trust the One Who MADE you to fill in all the gaps & determine to take a stand for truth that leads to ETERNAL HOPE in Jesus Christ!
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for 7 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Cherry Handbag Charm–INDIA
How adorable is this Cherry Handbag Charm?! Using red and green leather, women earn a dignified wage crafting this Cherry Handbag Charm. Add to any handbag to instantly change the look! The ethically made Cherry Handbag Charm is handcrafted with care in India.
***Every purchase, using the “Shop Here” link below, provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India! ***
How You Can Help Artisans around the World AND Help Support My Website:
#1 is PRAY. Financial help is great & helps pay my website fees & helps support these women artisans… but God’s help is always needed most… both for encouragement & for spiritual hope, through Jesus, for the women we support through our ethical fashion purchases. Always PRAY first.
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!
