Rejoicing in the Midst of Trials
Something that I misunderstood most of my life was the idea of rejoicing in the midst of trials.
To me, it felt like it implied that I must feel happy while also dealing with intense struggling, & that, if I couldn’t get myself to be (or pretend) to be happy, then I was living as a bad testimony for God… that I wasn’t trusting in Him enough…. That I wasn’t a good enough Christian.
Well, imagine how much shame that has brought on me over the years as a now grown woman who has struggled through seasons of depression for most all of her life. When I am going through an intensely dark season of my life, I feel no happy... I barely feel anything at all….
Constantly feeling like a failure to God, as if I just couldn’t be good enough to fake it or feel it well enough to “prove” I trusted God “enough” through those darkest of seasons was a hugely heavy burden to carry, on top of already feeling like my consistently downcast mental state alone was a hugely heavy burden for everyone else in my life to carry.
But, thankfully, God has taught me a little something about rejoicing in Him through trials over the years.
It Does Not Mean Pretending to be Happy
You see, what a wonderfully freeing thing it is to realize that rejoicing in trials does not mean pretending to be happy at all times in those trials.
But rather, something much sweeter, richer, & more real than that.
God sees me at my worst. I don’t have to ever pretend for Him, because He already sees it all anyway. He knows the real, deep-down ME.
I never have to be fake with God. He can handle my heavy burdens just fine for the both of us.
And implying the supposed falsehood that to be a good testimony for Him, I have to come off as perfect at all times is implying that the focus ought to be on my own perfection in order to somehow prove His sufficiency.
Rather, in those moments of complete & utter weakness, I have found something beautiful.
As I am feeling frail, hurting, barely holding myself together… the rejoicing comes in the form of remembering.
Taking Time to REMEMBER… & to Praise Him for WHO He Is… Despite How I’m Feeling
Sometimes even as I cry, I sit & remember all He has done for me… all He has sustained me through… & I thank Him… I praise Him that He always shows to have a plan, even when I can’t see it at the time… that He never wastes a single hurt, even when I don’t see how He ever could use it… & that He 100% ALWAYS works everything out for BOTH His glory AND my GOOD.
He holds me together when I feel like I’m falling apart.
He infuses peace in my heart when all the pieces fall around me.
He carries me when I can’t carry myself.
He protects me when I feel too weak to stand.
He cares for me when it feels like no one else does or could.
He has compassion for me no matter how little I may deserve it.
He is my strong tower when the winds of life rage around me.
He wraps His arms of love around me, even when I feel too unlovable.
He gives me HOPE in the midst of the most hopeless.
And in all those things, EVEN WHEN the pain doesn’t quit… I can rejoice through my pain. I can praise Him through my hurts.
True Rejoicing Does Not Have to FEEL Happy
I can trust Him.
I can rejoice in Him, even in & through the pain.
I don’t have to pretty up my pain or get over it in order to rejoice genuinely, but rather, I can display even better His glory by rejoicing in Him even in the even if.
I am allowed to both grieve the effects of sin & therefore, brokenness, in this world, while also simultaneously recognizing & rejoicing that God is still on His throne, He cannot & will not ever be thwarted. He will have the final say. He will be magnified. He will get the glory He deserves.
I can feel hurt & sad while also recognizing & rejoicing in the HOPE I have because of what Jesus did for me on the cross for my sins.
What Matters Is How You Choose to Respond to Your Pain… Not That You Pretend You Don’t Feel Pain…
I think where the confusion comes from is instead what we choose to do with the pain & hurts that we feel that scares people into being scared of admitting they are feeling negative feelings.
If you are dwelling only on the pain & intently choosing NOT to rejoice UNLESS it’s all fixed & prettied up… there’s a problem.
If you are allowing your pain to help you justify a root of bitterness springing up within your heart… there’s a problem.
If you are using your hurt as an excuse to slander someone else’s reputation, or to gossip about them behind their back… there’s a problem.
If your hurt tempts you into believing you need to seek elsewhere for hope… & you begin to listen to & obey that little temptation… there’s a problem.
If you refuse to have gratitude because of your hurt… there’s a problem.
If you rebel against God & obedience to Him because of your hurt… there’s a problem.
But the feeling hurt is not the problem… it is a result of the pain brought on by living in a broken world, of grieving things not being the ideal that God originally intended when He created the world… before we allowed sin to enter the picture.
And sometimes, it’s just the consequence of our own sin… a call to come back to the forgiving, gracious, loving arms of Jesus. Not a place to STAY, but a force to push you back to the only place where you will ever find true HOPE.
Let the pain draw you back to Him.
Let the Pain Draw You Ever into the Arms of Jesus
You know, I used to be so frustrated & confused & hurt at how God could allow someone (AKA me) to endure intense seasons of pain that felt source-less & meaningless… pain that sometimes felt like it would never ever end.
But, after years of praying over it, through my many seasons of great darkness… crying while crying out to God for help… I have seen things more clearly….
That because of those many seasons of darkness, where I couldn’t even see a source of it sometimes… only senseless pain… I learned the most unimaginably beautiful truth.
That, because of those many seasons of intensely dark pain, I had been repeatedly & constantly thrown ever into the arms of Jesus. My desperation demanded it. My heart needed it like air to breath. Suicidal thoughts were a regular companion of mine in some dark seasons, but God’s compassionate arms pulled me in over & over & over & over & over again, even when I couldn’t get myself to pick myself back up again.
In ALL Things… In EVERY Season… God Is SUFFICIENT… & in That… I CAN REJOICE!!
I learned that I can count on Him at my absolute worst. I learned that even when I have absolutely NOTHING to contribute… He is sufficient. I learned that I can count on Him EVEN IF nothing ever got better. I learned that I can count on the fact that He never EVER wastes even a single OUNCE of my pain, but ALWAYS uses it for BOTH His glory & my good. I learned that He is consistently sufficient in my every personal lack of sufficiency.
I learned that He is ENOUGH. And that His grace will carry me through even the worst hurts imaginable… even when it feels there is no & could never be any hope… I find that Hope in Him.
And in that… even when I don’t feel happy… I can rejoice.
Shine HOPE by turning every hurt & heartache into an opportunity to seek your sufficiency, your fulfillment, & your HOPE in HIM ALONE… & REJOICE in Him through every bit of it!!
“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)
***He is waiting for you… will you come?:***
***(Romans 3:23; Romans 5:8-10; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 10:9-10; John 14:6)***
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