The Chains of Lust

Last week, I talked about lust… the silent, secret destroyer.

I mentioned my own battle with it, my justifications of it, & the damage I saw it cause in my own relationship with my husband… & why we really should trust God when He says to avoid it.

It’s easy for me to find the “loophole” of good moral behavior on the outside, with good intentions on the inside, while still seeking to please myself, my way… & thus hurting myself.

When we try to find “loopholes” in God’s laws, we’re not just hurting Him, but ourselves AND others, even if we’ve convinced ourselves, &/or others, of our innocence.

Let’s Talk About Sex

But let’s be clear… God made sex.

God designed sex to be ENJOYED between a husband AND wife (aka it’s not just for the man).

God even had a whole chapter in the Bible written about sex.

In other words, God cares about sex.

Sex Is Also Meant for the Wife

Through my journey with temptation to lust or fantasize, I have noticed also the cry/lie that sex is not meant for women, but to keep the husband happy.

This often leads women to seek satisfaction from other means, like erotica, pornography, romance novels, fantasizing, or stuffing down their desires, leaving them bitter & cold to their husband’s desires.

But what if we, as women, stopped turning to our own “solutions” as seen above, & started trusting that if God made it for husband & wife to enjoy together, that God can help repair & restore that design the way He meant it to be?

What if we stopped settling for sin &/or accepting our own dissatisfaction?

What if we trusted God’s design instead?

A Treasured Joy between Man & His Wife

Media & culture often presents sex as careless, reckless, meaningless, passionate, too-perfect, easy, empty pleasure.

God designed sex to bring a husband & wife close with intimacy, enjoyment, oneness, as meaningful, connected, & fulfilling pleasure.

I used to believe the presentation of sex in movies, that it didn’t mean much & that if you felt off or yucky or cheap or used or dirty afterwards, that was the exception, not the rule.

But sex was never meant to be carelessly thrown about. It was meant to be a treasured joy for a husband & wife to share.

Not Meant to Leave You Feeling “Icky”

I didn’t have sex before marriage, but even with the “messing around” that I did, I was left feeling icky. I felt used & cheap, even though I encouraged it to happen.

I kept thinking that if I just toughed up, I would finally achieve the joy from it that everyone else seemed to have, but I was always left feeling empty & gross.

God’s Design Vs Our Design for Desires

A friend of mine did not wait until marriage to have sex & she shared this with me to share with you:

“On sex before marriage—my experience—I didn’t understand sex. My view of sex was distorted & perverted [from God’s design for it]. I did not know what God’s design for sex really looked like. On top of that, I was rebellious & I gave in to all of my lusts & desires. In the end, all I was left with was heartbreak & an emptiness. The culture wants you to believe—Satan wants you to believe—sex before marriage, casual sex, is more satisfying, but Satan is a liar & he wants to deceive us.”

Sin Never Delivers What It Promises Us

Sin NEVER delivers what it promises. It NEVER satisfies truly. It leaves you feeling empty & gross, because it’s sin.

That’s why God tells us to avoid it, because He made us & knows exactly how we’re wired, no matter what culture (or Satan) tries to tell you that contradicts God’s Word.

God knows what will bless us & what will hurt us.

We need to fear God in the sense that He is SO FAR ABOVE us & MADE us & KNOWS literally EVERYTHING… & His Word should be trusted & obeyed, even if we’ve convinced ourselves that the world’s way (or our way) is better.

Because the world’s way will always leave you wanting… empty… searching… looking for more….

But God’s way satisfies completely.

Not Without Temptations

That doesn’t mean we won’t be tempted. It doesn’t mean our flesh won’t scream for instant gratification & beg us to believe the world’s view on sex because it seems easier to access… but knowing it won’t actually fulfill us & thus turning it away to ask for ONLY God’s way is the first step to finding healing & TRUE satisfaction.

I have been fighting this fight for two plus years now (against the temptation of turning to fantasies) & struggled with it for years before I realized how much damage it was causing me… & when I look back at myself, then addicted to fantasies & lust, always going to that versus my husband, how empty & unsatisfied & even bitter I felt… to now seeing breakthroughs of healing, trust, satisfaction & contentment…. I would never want to go back to my old views because they left me so bitter & empty.

God Made Sex

Again, God made sex.

God designed sex to be enjoyed between husband AND wife.

God even had a whole chapter in the Bible written about sex.

In other words, God cares about sex!

Only God’s Way Truly Satisfies

If you are unmarried & seeking satisfaction via sex or fantasies or lust or erotica or pornography or romance novels, etc., I will tell you right now that the longer you seek to find satisfaction there, the emptier you will feel over time.

If you are married & feel unsatisfied in the bedroom & therefore seek pleasure via sex elsewhere, or fantasies or lust or erotica or pornography or romance novels, etc., I will tell you right now that the longer you seek to find satisfaction there, the emptier you will feel over time.

Ask for Mercy… Receive Mercy… Do It God’s Way

Turn to God. Surrender your chains. Ask forgiveness of your sin.

God is slow to anger & quick to mercy.

God’s mercies are new every morning.

God is quick to forgive us our sins.

God is able to do immeasurably more than you can ask or even imagine.

God made you. Turn to Him. Trust His design & turn away from your own.

Only Jesus can satisfy you & everything else is but a cheap imitation… a mirage of false hope.

Shine HOPE by taking any sexual sin to God & by no longer conceding to give in to seeking out satisfaction your own way.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

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A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs (from India)

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!