We Are Never Alone in Our Suffering

Have you ever felt like no one gets you when you’re going through something hard? Like maybe you feel a physical cringe awkwardness from someone, or a subtle “back away slowly & maybe she won’t see us” type reaction or even a straightforward statement along the lines of: “you’re always so dramatic”?

Hurts doesn’t it?

You know what, sometimes I don’t get it either. Sometimes I am the insensitive one toward others because I don’t get it. And sometimes I’m the one going through it & I still don’t get why I feel as if I am suffering.

Maybe it’s my hormones out of whack or brain chemistry or just the way God made me, but boy has it spurned negative reactions toward me sometimes, even if just someone not allowing me space in their life because my sometimes seemingly unsolvable hurt weighs them down. I get it, I do–but it still hurts.

I AM Too Weak… But I Know Someone Who Isn’t…

I don’t hurt all the time. I feel fine right now, in fact. It seems to come in seasons, & no, not monthly cycle type seasons.

I’m in good company, though, I have realized. My friend once said she wondered why the Bible book of Habakkuk wasn’t more popular as it seems to be like Psalms, but so much shorter, to which I responded, “you know what, I find comfort in the fact that Psalms is so long, because I can relate to coming back to the same hurts & crying out over & over again.’

That’s why I say sometimes that I sometimes feel too weak for this world. So many people seem to think it should be easier than I find it at times. Like I just need to shake it off, toughen up, & MOVE ON.

I Don’t Need to Feel Ashamed of My Struggle… Even When I May Not Understand It

And then the whole making emotions almost “equivocal” to sin shtick. Without looking beyond the surface of how much rich, deep, LASTING emotions are depicted in the Bible, not as something to hide from or cover up or be ashamed of as the problem… but as a natural response to the world around them, recognizing that the sin only comes from what you choose to do with said emotions—as an excuse for retaliation, bitterness, isolation, unkindness, giving into temptations, etc.

But I have talked enough about that in recent posts, haven’t I? (Read some of those: “Why Are Deep Emotions So Often Equated with “Being Dramatic”?” & “Facing Big Emotions.” & “The Epidemic of Misplaced Blame.”)

Today, I don’t want to focus on how others may oftentimes respond negatively to my emotions or of those expressed by family, friends, or strangers….

Today, I want to talk about how GOD responds to our emotions & our suffering.

God Doesn’t Shy Away from Our Suffering

Did you know that God doesn’t shy away from our suffering? Even when our suffering may seem unjustifiable? There is no “prove you deserve to feel suffering so I can show compassion & offer you comfort/support.” He doesn’t operate that way with us. We don’t have to prove cause or justify any hurts to Him.

He doesn’t shy away from our suffering, no matter the cause.

He is our strong tower. (Proverbs 18:10)

We can count on Him to be right there in it with us, even if we feel tempted to beat ourselves up because we can’t seem to find or speculate a good enough reason to justify our feeling that weak.

God Is Sufficient All on His Own

I have also discovered that God doesn’t even need our loaves & fish. He doesn’t need us to first give before He can give.

In Hokkaido, I was suffering so often. The strain of living in a world in which I couldn’t communicate with others or read signs/labels, or ask questions, or make a joke to make someone smile, or connect with the world around me was so difficult.

That strain made me tired when I wasn’t tired because every small task required courage & strain & overcoming. Nothing was ever simple. Nothing was ever straightforward. Everything required strain. It was so incredibly taxing.

Even If…

I kept praying for escape. I kept praying for relief. I kept praying for EASIER to come.

It didn’t. It didn’t come… no escape… no relief… no ease from the hard.

And I responded wrongly indeed. I gave up praying for it. Every time I prayed & I didn’t get my way, seeing the constant challenging strain remain & remain & keep on remaining… I stopped praying. Because praying meant reaching out to God, Him not pulling me out of the suffering, & my bitterness growing toward Him. So I withdrew from asking Him anymore because I hated feeling guilty being mad at God.

That was wrong. Wrong because He was still my only hope in my suffering. Wrong because I didn’t get my way, but He could still make a way. I wanted my way—end the suffering—or no way.

That was wrong.

God Worked through Me Even When I Was FAR from Worthy

That wrong got worse. That lack of praying about it turned indeed toward bitterness. Almost a, “why bother asking You—You’re not going to help me anyway, as You have clearly demonstrated.”

I still talked to Him daily, throughout each day—just not about my suffering anymore. I still felt Him patiently there with me. But I had my arms crossed & my nose turned up at Him when it came to a point of suffering with the hard that remained in my life.

And you know what? I WAS suffering. I then had a bratty attitude of my way ONLY. I responded wrongly. I disrespected & dishonored Him in my response to His allowing me to remain in my suffering. I did wrong.

But He remained anyway.

God’s Faithfulness–Thank God–Does Not Rely on My Faithfulness

I had nothing to give Him. Not even a willing heart was I willing to give Him.

But He remained anyway.

I essentially spat at Him, ignored Him, yelled at Him, was bitter with Him. Was a terrible friend. A belligerent daughter. A disrespectful child.

But He remained anyway.

I wasn’t trying to act like I had it all together enough to not scare His help away. I wasn’t trying to sugarcoat my suffering so He wouldn’t back away from me. I wasn’t feigning “okay-ness” so He would stay. I wasn’t forcing a smile or fake niceness. I was outright about it… honest… rude even.

But He remained anyway.

He was faithful when I was not. He was kind when I was not. He stayed when I left. He held on when I let go. He didn’t give up on me even after I gave up on Him.

He remained anyway.

God doesn’t shy away from our suffering.

Beauty from the Ashes

God taught me such beautiful things throughout those 3 years alongside a strong testament to His faithfulness against all odds.

He taught me that I don’t have to be enough for Him because He is enough for both of us.

He taught me that my spiritual gifting is not of my deserving but of His choice in how HE works through me despite my undeserving. He helped others through me in all of my wretchedness because people would come to me with a question & I would roll my eyes in my mind & inwardly pray to Him something like: “Ok God, well I guess that’s You. What do You want me to say? You’re up.” And He would give me the exact right thing out of nowhere & the person with the question would gush how they had been praying for months & my response was the “AHA!” moment missing piece & I would just flatline smile & just point up as if to be like, “that’s Him, not me, but glad it helped.”

I had nothing to give Him. I was no longer trying my best to be the perfect Jesus-follower… & yet, He remained.

He proved that His faithfulness to me is not dependent on ANYTHING I can offer Him.

So much humility was born from that period of suffering. That I can act so wretchedly bratty & disrespectful & be so bitter & angry with Him… & yet, He remained.

God Is Abundantly Sufficient in ALL Things–He Is LOVE

There is nothing I can offer God to add to what He already has in infinite supply. He is sufficient in & of Himself, even when I have nothing left of any good to offer Him.

Even if I respond wrongly. Even if it’s my fault. Even when I give up on Him.

He remains.

“Love suffers long [is patient] and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails….” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)

“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” (1 John 4:8)

He Is Our Strong Tower

He is our strong tower. He is our refuge & our strength. He is our ever-present help in times of trouble. (Proverbs 18:10; Psalm 46; Psalm 91)

Even when the storm doesn’t end. He remains.

Even when the suffering doesn’t end. He remains.

Even when we don’t get the relief we yearn so desperately for. He remains.

He comforts. He holds our head up. He holds us in His hand. He protects. He sustains. He gives peace when peace can seem impossible. He is sufficient in our sufferings. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4; John 14:16; Isaiah 66:13a; Lamentations 3:22-23; Psalm 3:3; Isaiah 41:10-13; Psalm 55:22; Isaiah 46:4; Philippians 4:6-7; 2 Corinthians 12:9; 2 Corinthians 3:5; Ephesians 3:20-21)

I Can Count on God, Even When I Cannot Count on Myself

Even when no one understands. Even when no one “gets it.” Even when everyone backs away from you. Even when people don’t think your problem warrants how much it hurts you. Even if others judge you. Even if you get criticized for being “too sensitive.” Even if everyone deserts you.

Even if the suffering remains.

Even if.

He remains. He is faithful. He is enough. He IS your strength. He gives peace. He loves you. He REMAINS.

Shine HOPE by demonstrating the type of REMAINING faithfulness God demonstrates toward us—even when we don’t think they deserve it… because I sure didn’t—but He still remained. We don’t have to understand someone’s pain to be compassionate toward them.

(***Read past posts about God in our suffering: “Where Is God When I’m Suffering?” “Pain & Suffering… & God’s Answers through Them” “Countering Specific Doubts with Truth (Part 3)-Pain & Suffering” “A Quick Encouragement on Finding Hope When Suffering Doesn’t Seem to Stop” “Rare, Beautiful Opportunities… in the Midst of Our Deepest Hurts & Struggles” ***)

Coming Next Week

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Starlit Joy Ornament Set (INDIA)

This ornament set is created by women working to fight child marriage by creating safe jobs with fair wages in areas of extreme poverty where vulnerable women are often exploited. Each set includes two gold and white beaded ornaments – a “joy” and a star-shaped ornament. Adorn your tree with this classic look that has a big impact!

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