Anyone Else Wrestle with Regular Plaguing Doubts?

“Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

From an early age, I struggled with doubts. I grew up trusting in Jesus, but the obviousness of it didn’t seem to click with so many people I respected & cared for, so it didn’t make sense to me why that was.

Honestly, I think another part of the doubting was the good ‘ol sin nature we are all born with. My inclination was to self-seek, & with a “take up your cross & follow Me” mandate in the Bible… well, the two don’t exactly mesh well.

As I was reminded in my devotional time this morning, working through one of my longtime favorite studies—“Lies Women Believe, & the Truth That Sets Them Free,” by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Romans 7 tells us Paul had the exact same type of struggle: spirit vs flesh, wanting to obey God, but tempted toward wrong.

(***You can find the link to the “Lies Women Believe” book/study on my Resources & Recommendations page, under “Bible Studies,” located: here.***)

But, regardless of its source, the doubts were strong in me. I wanted proof, evidence, if you will, about what was true.

Muddied by the World’s Worldly Perspective

I really do think that not all of my doubts were born out of a desire to prove them wrong so I could live the way I wanted without guilt… Some were genuinely just confusion born out of the overt confidence of the alternative from people I loved & respected. I was being influenced.

“For thus says the Lord,
Who created the heavens,
Who is God,
Who formed the earth and made it,
Who has established it,
Who did not create it in vain,
Who formed it to be inhabited:
“I am the Lord, and there is no other.” (Isaiah 45:18)

And, seeing as how only one side could actually BE correct: Only One TRUE God (Isaiah 45:18; John 14:6) vs “many ways to heaven,” & seeing as how both sides were believed by & preached by humans… coupled with the fun little phrase of “to err is human,” well, I wasn’t quite sure how to prove one over the other… even to myself.

I mean, deep down, I knew I was set free from my sin because of Jesus, but then I let the satan lure me into doubting God just as satan did with Eve in the Garden of Eden. (Genesis 3:1-6)

“I am afraid, however, that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may be led astray from your simple and pure devotion to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:3)

The Dizzying Loop of Doubting

And most all of my life, as soon as I read something in the Bible that made ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE with how I understood the world, or it went COMPLETELY against what I “knew” to be true about life… well, that threw me for a dizzying loop every single time. It was EXHAUSTING.

I used to pray SO OFTEN that God would clear me of & free me from my plaguing doubts, the poison that kept finding its way back into my heart, muddling the simple faith I had over & over again.

***Well, spoiler alert: He DID answer that prayer & in a MAJOR way. You can read all about that in my previous blog posts: “…Trusting Like a Child… Until the Doubts Began,“ “…The Dungeon of Depression-A Journey to Truth,” as well as my most recent retelling: “…The Doubts I Let Take Over,” & “…Losing My Battle with Depression.” ***

One of My Favorite Verses-“Lord, I Believe… Help My Unbelief”

But honestly, in the frailty of my faith, one little verse was like a beacon of hope to me. It was one I repeated more often than I can count. One that kept comforting the whirlwind of confusion & doubts in my heart: “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)

WOW. What a powerful prayer!

To me, this summed up the entirety of my inner struggle!

Deep down, I KNEW that God was it & that Jesus saved me as I had so easily accepted at 5 years old. I GREW UP knowing that in my heart.

But the hurts & cares of the world, the differing beliefs from others, & satan’s craftiness was working to tear the ground out from under me at every turn.

And so, I kept coming back to this prayer: “Lord, I BELIEVE. Help my unbelief!”

I Knew & Yet I Doubted

I KNEW & yet I DOUBTED. I didn’t know how to reconcile those two things. But I knew God was the One to help me get it sorted. & boy, did He ever.

“You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)

He wants to be found. He wants to be known. He wants you to be SURE, STEADY, & CONFIDENT in HIM.

I love a little chart I see pop up from time to time. On one side, it lists things that satan does: rushes you, confuses you, shames you, lies to you, hurts you, worries you….

And on the other side of the chart, it contrasts all those things with how God interacts with us: He calms us, He steadies us, He forgives us, He convicts our hearts to come back to Him vs away from Him, He tells us the truth, He settles us, He heals us, He gives His peace to us, He protects us, He leads us.

If you have already accepted Jesus’ sacrifice as covering for your sin, God doesn’t even need to guilt you, because He knows your wrongs are already covered by the blood of Jesus—THANK GOD! But He beckons us always to come back to Him when we have done wrong, to seek His help to lead us better than we lead ourselves.

God’s Way Is Always Perfection… Even When We Don’t Get It

Do you have little nagging doubts? Or big ones maybe?

Do you maybe read something in the Bible that just rubs you the wrong way & you don’t know how to reconcile that?

I still remember reading all the passed judgments (aka VIOLENCE) from God in the Old Testament, even against sins we consider as so small—like COMPLAINING, & thinking, “God, from a PR standpoint, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING INCLUDING THIS IN THE BIBLE!?!? It makes you look cruel & violent & short-tempered! Couldn’t You have left that out? You look so CRUEL. I don’t understand.”

But then, when I continued praying over the unrest that I felt reading about this cruelty over even “little sins,” I felt God whisper an answer over my heart that I both didn’t expect & that convicted my heart in how easily I justify my “little” sins, “I needed to show how wicked sin really is, the severity of it, & why Jesus needed to die for it.”

It’s not that God is this tyrannical God. It’s that we all too often WAY underestimate the wretchedness of our own sin! PRAISE GOD FOR JESUS’ LOVING SACRIFICE!

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)

God Sees You, God Is Near You, & God Cares for You

Do you feel He has forgotten you or is up in heaven laughing, or for whatever reason, worry you maybe can’t trust Him?

I began to believe this one as well. I thought maybe He was real, but not present. I doubted His presence & care for me personally in my life.

But God cleared this one up for me real good, as seen in the extra blog posts I tagged for you previously.

If we seek Him with all of our heart, we WILL find Him. (Deuteronomy 4:29)

That’s why variations of this little quote God put on my heart has been ringing beautifully in my heart for years now, as a reminder, “Everything God does, everything God commands, everything God allows, is ALWAYS, 100% for BOTH His glory AND my good. ALWAYS, even when I can’t yet see it, even when things stay hard, even when I don’t understand. ALWAYS.”

Don’t Let Satan Fool or Lure You Away from the ONLY Place You Will Find Lasting, REAL Hope

But maybe you’re not there yet. Maybe you can’t see it yet. Maybe the cares/hurts of this world, the “problematic” Bible verse, the opinions of others you love & respect, the lies of satan, or even your own sinful nature/drive have driven doubts about God into your heart & you just don’t know how to ever get rid of them.

Ask… it will be given. Seek… you will find. Knock… the door will be opened to you. (Luke 11:9-13; Matthew 7:7-11)

“But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” (Deuteronomy 4:29)

“The thief [Satan] does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. “I am the good Shepherd. The good Shepherd gives His life for the sheep.” (John 10:10-11)

The Beautiful Wrecking Ball

God may wreck your world, as He did mine. But it will be the most beautiful wrecking you could never imagine, like renovating a building by first taking a wrecking ball into it. Painful, messy, not the slightest bit enjoyable… but when it’s done, & the dust settles, & the renovation is complete… chills will cover you, awe will fill your heart, & humble, repentant PEACE will fill your every inch.

He knows what He’s doing. He knows what needs to be done, & He loves you enough to do it… like how resetting a bone may hurt, but is necessary & much better than leaving you as is.

But sometimes it starts just with a meager, uncertain, simple, whispered prayer: “LORD, I believe. Help my unbelief.”

If you’re living the whirlwind torment of doubts plaguing your life… maybe you are holding onto faith by a thread or maybe you have already walked away. God will show you the way back… if you’re willing to trust Him for the way, the truth, & the life… through Jesus Christ alone.

Shine HOPE by taking every doubt to the God Who already knows them anyway, being honest with Him about them, & by asking for His peace to know how to trust Him still, even in the doubts brought on by satan’s lies, our sinful flesh, opinions of others we care for & respect, & the hurts/cares of this world… by saying with me in those moments, “LORD, I believe. Help my unbelief.”

Coming Next Week

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A Note from Michelle:

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Ardent Earrings-Golden (INDIA)

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***Purchase the beautiful golden Ardent Earrings, using the “Shop Here” link below, to help empower women in INDIA out of poverty!***

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Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!