A Story of a Girl

She sat in front of the mirror, studying her reflection.

Her smile faltered & she let it fade completely from her face, too tired to maintain the façade in the private of her own room.

“What’s wrong with me?” she whispered quietly to herself, feeling the weight of the world on her back. “Why am I the only one who can’t seem to get her life together? Why do I feel like I have to fake it through life? Isn’t there more to this? What’s wrong with me?”

She was too tired to cry tonight, too tired of feeling so useless & weak. Every day she looked around at everyone smiling & they all seemed to somehow have discovered the secret to happiness & success that she couldn’t quite figure out. They all were so confident & capable. They had their life together.

“But not me.” The weight of her words hit her & she almost let herself cry, but not this time. She wouldn’t give in to the tears again. She would try harder next time & she would stop being such a big baby.

What could God do for her anyway? Does He even see all she has done? No, there was no redeeming that. Her best bet was to just suck it up & try harder next time. “Where did that come from? God? Why did I think of Him?”

Some people told her “God” could make it better… through… Jesus? But they were diluted & wishful thinking their troubles away. What a bunch of fake people. What could God do anyway? He couldn’t just magically make her not suck at life. And what’s the point? Everyone struggles, so what? This is just life. You learn to suck it up, get tougher skin, & just try again & sometimes you get it right & sometimes you don’t. That’s just life. And everyone else seems to be doing just fine that way.

Her friend had told her the other day that “Jesus” can help her. “HA. I don’t need help. So, I cry sometimes? So what? Everyone has bad days & everyone seems just fine with it, so obviously I just need to tough it out until I figure it out.”

Something didn’t sit right with her when she said those words out loud.

Can it get better? Was she missing out? “No, I will just keep going & keep trying. I’ll be fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

Everyone Else Seems Just Fine, But Are They?

Have you ever felt like the fictional girl in this story? I most definitely have.

Before I surrendered more of my life to God, thinking I was saved from Hell & that was the end of it, I didn’t realize God meant to help me in life, TOO.

We look around at the world around us & it seems life everyone else just has it figured out, while we feel like the losers who just can’t seem to get it right.

Everyone else is doing these things the Bible calls sin & yet they seem confident in it & their life seems perfect, so we question God.

But what we often fail to realize is that every person, whether they have stuffed it so deep under denial that it can’t be seen or whether they cry alone in their room at night like the girl in the above story, EVERY person struggles when they turn away from God’s ways to do it their own way. EVERY person.

We Need More Than Ourselves

That’s because God has 100% PERFECT wisdom, knowledge, & understanding, so when He tells us to avoid stuff, it’s NOT so He can control us & deprive us of enjoying life in some strange, narcissistic demand… It’s out of LOVE… For US.

My aunt shared a quote from a pastor saying something along the lines of, “Satan has tricked so many of us into thinking that the way to “prove” our faith is to try everything WITHOUT God’s help, to prove God has given us all we need to do it on our own…. When in reality, TRUE faith recognizes our very real NEED for God in every aspect of life.”

The Big Lie

You see, we’re lied to. We’re told that if it doesn’t feel right when we “sin”, we just need to toughen up because everyone else seems just fine with it. (Sin is real, so that is not the reason for the “” but rather that we don’t always like accepting sin as sin when we have good intentions, am I right?)

Taken Out of Context

Think of it in the realm of SEX. That’s right, I’m going there….

Culture tells us that anywhere with anyone at anytime is natural & fine & normal… that it makes us feel loved & wanted. I mean, watch any chic flick—a sex scene, even an implied one, is almost inevitable in every one of them.

Now, GOD tells us that He MADE sex to be ENJOYED between MAN & WIFE.

He ALSO warns us to AVOID it OUTSIDE of marriage.

So, sex is made by God—to be enjoyed—but culture has corrupted that gift & blessing of God to encourage “enjoying” it in almost any context & definitely in the ways God clearly instructs us to avoid—because He KNOWS it will end up hurting us when taken out of context.

Sin Hurts

And here’s the thing, we can engage in “impure” activities whether that be casual sex, anything-but-sex impurity, pornography, etc. AKA outside of the guidelines God designed for sex to be enjoyed… & CONVINCE ourselves that because EVERYONE else seems A-Okay with it (see almost every romcom & most television nowadays), that our emptiness or hollow after-effects must be OUR personal weakness & problem that WE need to GET OVER. (I have been there!)

But it hurts quite simply because it’s a corruption of something God meant to be GOOD & pure & whole & free of scars/betrayal/trauma/etc., IN MARRIAGE.

God Can Redeem All Things

I must remind us right here, for those of US (*me included), who have messed this whole thing up & given in to the corruption of God’s desired blessing for us to enjoy/

(I always thought sexual impurity before marriage only meant “don’t have sex”—I was wrong & I got hurt as a result.)

GOD CAN REDEEM ANYTHING.

There is NOTHING outside of God’s power to redeem, renew, & restore.

He is so good to us in that NO MATTER how badly we feel we have screwed everything up—He is always waiting with open arms & a grace-filled heart toward us.

Loving, Perfect Instruction

Let me shift some perspectives here. It’s easy to see God as the giant RULE-GIVER in the sky, looking to control all of us & determine our faith by how readily we give up all fun to follow His rules instead of enjoying life.

But that is INCORRECT.

God IS Love. He EQUALS Love.

He also has infinite, 100% PERFECT wisdom, understanding, & knowledge.

So, when He tells you, “Don’t Do That or Such & Such Will Happen,” it is less a threat (Read: NOT a threat), but is rather LOVING, PERFECT instruction.

He Created Life to be GOOD, but Sin Has Distorted So Much

He knows WHAT will hurt us & HOW & in WHAT context.

He created sex, but knows if treated carelessly or shared with multiple people, the pleasantness distorted by sin (our way versus God’s way) turns to ache & hurt & hollow hearts.

And some of you may think to yourselves, in trying to justify your non-terrible intentions, “Well, we plan to MARRY, so therefore, it’s totally fine!” But, what if both parties, completely in agreement, plan to marry, but one gets hit by a bus & passes away. Now you have had sex with “Not your husband.”

Trusting Self or Trusting God?

When we try to alter God’s commands, trusting our own limited human judgement over God’s infinite perfect wisdom, we are bound to feel its affects in a negative way, not because God is punishing us, but rather because He instructed us away from it KNOWING it would hurt us… & He doesn’t want us hurt.

Does He punish us as a Father disciplining His children away from what will ultimately hurt them? Yes. But consequences of sin are not punishment, they’re just what happens when blessings are corrupted by sin & taking it out of the context of how it was designed to bless us.

Living Our Way Always Hurts Us & Others… & God

Someone once said, “A Christian who lives in sin is one of the most miserable people in existence, because part of them knows they are being disobedient, but they push that down & justify it, as their hearts break & the rift in their relationship with God grows wider.”

And even non-Christians, aka those who have not surrendered their sin to Jesus to cover their debt to God. Even non-Christians can look around, see everyone else depicted in social media, mainstream media, family, friends, CULTURE that everyone else seems just fine with it, even promoting it… so they feel their heartache is unique to them… a weakness they just need to “get over.”

But listen to this, dear one, “Satan came to steal, kill, & destroy, but JESUS came that we may have life & to have it to the full.” (John 10:10)

An Undeserved GRACE

God designed life. He gave us His perfectly wise instruction. We tossed it in the trash for our version of what seemed better to us. We feel the weight of it. We hurt from it. But Jesus died for every ME-choice we made in rejecting God’s perfect, loving wisdom. HE took our punishment on Himself when He died on the cross (because the punishment of sin is death & hell). And He ROSE AGAIN, VICTORIOUS over that sin & over death. And He welcomes us to Himself, free of charge, saying, “I have already paid your price. You are forgiven. You are free.” And all we have to do is accept our need of Him, bow our hearts in grateful surrender, pour out our sin in asking forgiveness & mercy. And He gives GRACE. Not just freeing you from the PUNISHMENT you DESERVE, but GIVING YOU LIFE in its place.

What a GOOD God, indeed!!!!!!!!!

There Is HOPE

Don’t resign to live the rest of your life “surviving.” Ask God to help you learn to do it HIS way, His 100% PERFECT WISDOM, 100% PERFECT UNDERSTANDING, & 100% PERFECT KNOWLEDGE way!

Be willing to let Him change your mind.

And we were never meant to be able to do it all on our own… we were meant to NEED God. No shame in being human just like everyone else.

You may have exhausted your attempts to change or fix it or get better or be stronger or just get over it… But God is bigger than you.

So, ASK HIM, Beautiful. And even ask Him to help you bow to & learn to do it HIS way.

Ask Him to help you trust Him more.

And Shine HOPE, through His GRACE.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

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A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Inverted Capiz Earrings

These earrings feature shimmery, creamy white capiz shells, each framed by a black edge.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!