I Crave Affirmation & THIS Is My Gifting??

Have I established well enough that I don’t particularly enjoy being uncomfortable? (Understatement alert!) That I like when people like me? That I don’t like doing anything that might prevent the words of affirmation I so crave from others?

Recently, God helped me hone in on & define more succinctly one of the grandest purposes in my spiritual gifting: to break up fallow ground. (Jeremiah 4:3-4)

If you do a quick internet search on fallow ground, it shows that it is untilled, unused land. If land is untilled, that means it has been packed down & hardened, making it pretty difficult to sow seeds for new growth.

And this seems to be one of the key purposes of my spiritual gift–to break up fallow ground in people’s hearts. And trust me, it does NOT always stir up a desire for others to offer me words of affirmation.

Why ME, God?

To have me be a woman (men don’t always receive well God’s direction from a woman), who struggles with depression (& who craves affirmation), AND to also give me this spiritual gift just seems mean.

I know God isn’t mean & I know God doesn’t make mistakes, but it just would not be the gifting I would have chosen for myself. Don’t get me wrong, this gifting, while being sometimes seemingly unbearable, has also been one of the greatest blessings in my life… but hard is hard… & I don’t like hard.

What Does It Mean?

So, what does it mean for ME to break up fallow ground as part of my gifting?

(By the way, a spiritual gift is a particular gifting God gives you when you surrender your sins to God for forgiveness through accepting Jesus paying your own debt to God.)

I have mentioned before that I see things in black & white, where some see gray. (See my mention of this in my recent post: “Is Life a Big ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ Story?”) This doesn’t mean I am militant in my “THOU SHALT NOT”s, but rather that God has particularly gifted me to see the excuses, justifications, intentional or unintentional ignorance when it comes to those gray areas… in other words, there is no gray area for any INDIVIDUAL.

God doesn’t leave it up to us to GUESS… He guides us through the Holy Spirit, whether it’s situational, temporary avoidance of something not expressly forbidden in the Bible for the sake of another person you may or may not realize may struggle… or whether it’s a weak point for you & you may or may not recognize it… or whether you feel conflicted about it, but can’t find proof it’s wrong, so you want to move forward with it (warning: don’t! Romans 14:23). The Holy Spirit is a faithful & sure guide.

This insight is part of it. Helping others recognize something for what it is so they can take a personal inventory of such things & be convicted to turn those over to God versus avoiding or ignoring them because it makes them uncomfortable to confront it.

Sometimes I Am Tempted to Keep Silent…

I don’t always like this discernment into other’s good intentions versus God’s leading, to be quite frank. (Ever heard the phrase: “Don’t shoot the messenger?”) Whether it’s an inner, personal conviction, or whether it means standing up & speaking the truth when no one seems to be either willing or interested in doing so—going against the grain. I want to be liked!

So, if I ever speak something to you that just cuts deep into something you have been wrestling with & you feel that disdain for my presence & you wish I would just keep my mouth shut & mind my own business because you want to leave that fallow ground well enough alone or maybe even deny that it is fallow altogether… trust me, I want the same!

If that ever happens, most likely I had just spent 5-10 minutes (or days) wrestling with God on how He could possibly address it without me being involved, (or maybe AT LEAST that He would give me words that would make you not hate me for saying it) before I ever said a word out loud!

I Can’t Block Out His Prompting, No Matter How Badly I Want to Sometimes…

But, rarely can I ignore the prodding, as if a weight were placed on my shoulder & a gentle, loving voice whispers over my soul: “Speak now. You need to speak now,” while I shuffle in my seat uncomfortably trying to find a way to honor God & NOT speak now.

He always wins because He rarely lets me rest until I obey, like the restless Jonah that tried to run (literally) from God’s command to him.

I Never Know How Someone Will Respond to God’s Prompting Me to Speak Up

Sometimes I am humbly & graciously thanked for being willing to speak God’s Truth into their heart even if it must be uncomfortable (it is!) but sometimes I get glares & defensive responses & they take their frustration out on me, sometimes even going as far as telling their friends things to the tune of me being a stuck up, know-it-all, arrogant, self-righteous snob.

Slander hurts, folks. Slander hurts.

But I get it. I SOOOO get it. Because I don’t always want to listen to His love-generated tender convictions either. My flesh rears up. I defend. I feel threatened. I feel called out & embarrassed & defensive. I don’t like when God reveals an area of fallow ground in me. I don’t like it one bit.

So I get it. I really do.

Sometimes It Feels Like a Blessing AND a Curse…

I call my gifting a blessing & a curse because when someone is willing to receive how God wants to speak into a particular situation, it is a testimony of how wise, all-knowing, & fiercely determined to love us no matter the cost He is. But sometimes people hate me for it (or at least dislike me) & call me names & budding friendships turn to avoidance & sideways glances & whispers.

But, living my mission-to break up fallow ground, sometimes in a “but does it have to be this way? Please let there be another way! Use someone else here!” whine, I most likely will finally relent with a “Okay, I get it… it’s me… now… no matter how uncomfortable this makes me right now & no matter the risk… You have called me, so give me the words & please give me the courage!”

What an honor it is to see the heart of God… to be able to speak life-giving, God-given TRUTH to people as God leads it. What an immeasurable blessing it is to be called to break up the fallow ground in the hearts I come across… when they are willing to receive it & when I am willing to speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15)

My Plea for You… If Something I Say Ever Offends You

You don’t need to be upset with me, because most likely, I am feeling the conviction brought by my words just as much as you are… You don’t answer to me… You don’t owe any explanation to me… My opinion in the issue doesn’t matter one bit.

You don’t have anything you need to prove to me. I am just as much human as you are.

But let me share a plea with you. If I say something that offends you because it challenges something you grew up always believing… or excusing… or justifying… or ignoring… or ignorant of… when you are tempted to shut me out & close the door on me moving forward… fine… okay…. (I would rather be shunned than either disobey God’s call or miss a chance for you to see God bring fruit to an area of your life laying stagnant or hardened)

BUT PLEASE promise me that you will AT LEAST PRAY about whatever I said that makes you feel defensive or angry. Ask GOD for HIS opinion.

Let God Decide… Not You… Nor Me… HIM

Say, “God, that’s not true, is it? I’m not doing that! I’m not making excuses! You know my intentions here, no matter what Michelle says…. But…. (sigh) If I’m wrong somewhere here God, or if I missed something, or if You are trying to show me something here through what she said… help me be willing to hear it. Regardless of what I may not believe from her, if it is from You, I want to know. Confirm to me what Your will is in this, even if it clashes with what I understand or want to believe here… YOU show me. YOU teach me. YOU guide me. Let me be willing to hear Your opinion in this & to have it overshadow & overrule my own, no matter how uncomfortable the thought of it feels to me right now. Help me be willing to trust You more than myself if I am wrong… show me Your will in this. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Because you don’t owe me any explanation. You don’t owe me anything. If I am wrong, then I am wrong, but if there is even a SLIM chance that God is trying to break up a piece of fallow ground in your heart… you take that to Him & ask Him for His will over your own.

Not you. Not me. HIM.

Living My Mission-To Break Up Fallow Ground

Living my mission to break up fallow ground isn’t easy. It’s sometimes a battle of my will & flesh, wanting likes & comfort more than a ready obedience to God… sometimes it’s fear instead of faith leading my heart when God directs me… but every time, if it’s God leading me, I can be 100% sure it’s for His glory & their good. Every time.

Because that is the God we serve. He IS love. (1 John 4:8)

Shine HOPE by living God’s call in your own life & by being willing to be obedient to His leading, even if it means bowing your will to His & asking for His help in even that.

He knows what He is doing all the time. And He is Good. Praise GOD.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Festive Finch Ornament Duo (Nepal)

LIMITED EDITION – While Supplies Last! This set of two whimsical finch ornaments from Nepal will add some playful charm to your holiday decor with their festive winter accessories, puffy bellies, and adorable wire bird legs! Each Festive Finch Ornament is handcrafted using traditional felt crafting techniques that have been passed down for generations. Your purchase provides a woman in an area of extreme poverty with a safe job and fair wage. 

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

We Have a King Eternal

Reading through the Bible, you can find this phrase: “and the people did what was right in their own eyes” repeated quite often & when this phrase was used, it was often in direct correlation to their kingdom lacking a king. (Judges 17:6; 21:25; & find list of other mentions throughout the Bible, here.)

But our kingdom, the kingdom of God, is never lacking a King. Our King eternal is God Almighty. Despite this fact, I find myself living as if it weren’t true quite often, living as the Israelites did during the time periods talked about in Judges when they were without a king—doing what seems right in my own eyes.

This is not to say that I am indulging in sin, but rather the fact that I often forget, “oh yeah, I should probably ask God what His opinion or direction is here.”

Even If, He Should Still be Consulted

As I have talked a lot about recently, I like feeling capable. I like feeling like I am able to find a solution to whatever problem arises & ask God to help me do just that. In other words, I like to be in the driver seat (in control), with God acting as my assist when I “need” it.

But even when I DO feel capable, DO figure out a solution, & DO feel confident in my ability to carry it through, I need to stop & consider whether I am simply doing that which seems right to me… in my own eyes… or whether I am turning to my King for direction & wisdom.

There is so much I could unpack with this particular topic, but let’s touch on a few key points today in regards to “gray” areas in the Bible, allowing God to disrupt our plans, & letting God direct how we confront situations… rather than doing what seems right in our own eyes.

1. “What about the ‘gray’ areas in the Bible, where it doesn’t specifically call something a sin? Is that my call to make?”

The answer to this seemingly innocent & obvious question is: no—just because something is not clearly forbidden or called sin in the Bible, does not mean it is then up to you to do what seems right in your own eyes. It could be a concern of a weaker brother or sister (someone in your friend circle who struggles (openly or secretly) with it as a gateway to sin), or it could be that for you personally, (whether or not you willingly admit it). Either way… God knows better than even you in making those decisions.

When Jesus ascended to Heaven after He rose from the dead, after dying to pay our sin debt to God, He sent to us the Holy Spirit to act as our Helper & Counselor. (John 16:5-7)

Whenever a situation is questionable on whether or not something not specifically forbidden in the Bible is okay, whether it is based on a rule from a particular church or pastor, or whether it was just how you grew up, we always ought to defer to God, through the Holy Spirit, for His guidance in your situation & circumstances particularly.

Conflicted Feelings Is Often a Sign to Avoid Something

If you feel conflicted about engaging in whatever it is, I highly discourage you from participating, as this could be a clear sign that the Holy Spirit is sending your heart a warning signal… & the Bible does tell us that if we are unsure whether something is a sin & yet we indulge in it, to us it IS a sin because in the indulgence we are making a decision that even if we aren’t sure if it is okay with God, we’re willing to risk dishonoring Him for our own gratification. (Romans 14:23)

A personal example of this would be my second ear piercing. I grew up believing that it was sinful to have more than one piercing, but couldn’t find evidence of this & I really wanted one. And, knowing my intentions were because I thought it looked cute versus a way to show off, I felt it was okay… but wasn’t quite sure if it was sin… & I got that piercing anyway. God reminded me that because I wasn’t sure & did it anyway, that it was a sin for me to have done it… so I asked for forgiveness, removed the earring, let it grow back, & asked for Him to give me a clear answer, determining to give it up if that clear answer never came. For me, it was a sin because I chose to do it not knowing whether it was a sin, showing I cared more about my desire for it than honoring God with it.

The Holy Spirit will give you peace if you determine to turn to Him rather than doing what seems right to you. It may not be immediate & it may not be the answer you were hoping for, but keeping that determination to wait on His response will ensure that you do not dishonor God with your choices.

2. “What about my day-to-day living in the little moments/routines? As long as I try to do good & not sin, is it okay to make my own judgement calls?”

This one is a little trickier. It is both a “yes” & a “no.”

I would say, if you are living your life with the goal to please God with your thoughts, words, & actions (even if you mess up sometimes & have to turn to that daily repentance to clear your conscience & move forward in His grace), then you are living in a way that honors Him.

BUT, the big but in this instance is the willingness to let God interrupt your plans & also making sure to bow your fleshly instinct for His lead & wisdom to win in every situation–this is a lifelong learning process.

It can be so easy to have a schedule, a routine, & the little ways you like to do things or how to spend your free time to relax (aka your “me-time”), but we always must bow those routines, habits, way of doing things & me-time moments to Him, being willing to let Him interrupt it with His own plans, wisdom, & way.

I Like Knowing What’s Coming & Having a Plan

I don’t like having my plans interrupted. If you read my post about “What If I Ruin My Children,” you’ll see that one of my concerns for having children was my own selfish fears of having my schedule & free time interrupted daily. That is a sinful fear because I want control of my own life versus letting God take the reins & guide my moments.

We need to be willing to lay down “the way we do things” to His will & plan for any given day, knowing He sees past, present, AND future, as well as the innermost thoughts of every person. We need to learn to have a heart that is willing to say, “God, these are my plans for today, but help me be willing to let You interrupt them if You so desire… & help me to ask for Your help in following Your detour versus clinging to my design for my day. AMEN.”

So, you can be living in a way that overall brings God honor & glory, while still making small choices to do what seems right in your own eyes by grasping to Your plans & being unwilling to be interrupted by letting Him lead with His plans, wisdom, & way.

3. “What if I am taking a stand against something that displeases & dishonors God? Isn’t it enough that I am DOING something, when so many people, even Christians, seem to only sit & watch it happen?”

Oh, this one gets many a Christian & I have most likely fallen into this very trap myself on occasion.

We can be doing godly THINGS with the right HEART, but still completely miss the mark because we are doing it in such a way that makes sense to US.

God sees beyond what we see. I can be as determined as ever to create change in something, but if I am doing it in a way that makes sense to me, without bowing that urgent, desperate desire to fix things to HIM, then my attempts are not going to be as effective as I would hope them to be.

I need to be willing to see a wrong, take a deep breath, & PRAY as my first instinct… taking that concern to Him for a solution: “God, this really makes me angry & I really want to speak out about it… but give me the words… help them be bold, full of Your Truth, grace, & love… & give me the timing & place that is appropriate, so the right ears may hear & change may occur. Show me & guide me on how I may help!”

We can easily get drawn into self-righteousness when He is the only One Who can create any real & lasting change on others’ hearts. So, instead of blaring your agenda, no matter how noble & biblical it may be, make sure you take that concern to God first for guidance & wisdom rather than reacting in a way that seems right in your own eyes.

Is Life a Big “Choose Your Own Adventure” Story?

So, is life a big “choose your own adventure” story? This topic is such a deep one. There are so many areas of our lives that it touches & so often, because oftentimes something just seems right to us, there are circumstances where we can be completely clueless to the fact that we are indeed living in a way that simply seems right in our own eyes & may not be what God desires in a given situation.

But we must always remember that we are NEVER without a King who can guide us & strengthen us, & Who gives us wisdom as we seek Him.

So, go to your King every day, in every decision big or small, in everything.

Shine HOPE by letting your King be KING in your life, in matters of discernment, in letting God interrupt your plans for His, & in fighting concerns you have in life.

Our King is worthy of praise! Amen!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Merry Mice Ornament Trio (Nepal)

LIMITED EDITION – WHILE SUPPLIES LAST! This set of three whimsical Merry Mice Ornaments will add some playful charm to your holiday decor with their cheerful smiles, fluffy tutus, and festive gifts! Each adorable wool felt mouse is handcrafted by a woman in an area of extreme poverty in Nepal. Every purchase of our Merry Mice Ornament Trio empowers a woman in Nepal with dignified income and education.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

This May Ruffle Some Feathers…

This topic is an unpopular opinion because no one praising God sets out to worship themselves & so I may ruffle some feathers with this one, but it weighs on my heart & so I feel I must address it—Does our worship reflect giving God the glory or giving it to ourselves?

Now, it may be true that a song is encouraging & uplifting & hits all the right feels, but if we consider the heart of true worship, does our worship point all eyes & hearts to Him as our source, our help, our King Almighty? Or does it uplift us in our own abilities?

Turning Our Hearts to Him… In EVERY Song

It IS true that almost any song can be turned to worship, because worship is the posture of your heart toward our loving Almighty God, in song & in life.

So, even if a song never mentions God’s work as His work, (think Esther), we can still acknowledge from Whom those blessings & delights that are mentioned in the song are from (as long as they are not promoting or discussing sin or something that displeases or dishonors God).

Or, even if a song DOES promote self-worship, we can still personally make the choice to bow our hearts to Him as we sing, praising God that we feel strong BECAUSE OF HIM, or we feel capable BECAUSE OF HIM, lifting Him up in our hearts as we sing.

Our Worship Should ALWAYS Direct ALL Glory to HIM

But, we must use discernment in the songs we use to lift up our holy God. He is sovereign & almighty. He is perfect & pure. He is eternal Creator, Redeemer GOD.

Our worship should ALWAYS promote & lift HIM up. It should ALWAYS glorify Him for who He is & all He has done, still does, & will do because of who HE is.

So, when we are drawn to songs that make us feel strong & capable, singing lines like, “I am able,” “I am strong,” “I can,” or “I am enough,” make sure that it also includes (at the very least, in your heart), “because HE enables me,” because HE strengthens me,” “because HE gives me all I need,” or “because even at my worst & in my complete undeserving, JESUS made me so by HIS sacrifice for me.”

Not I, but CHRIST.

The Lines So Easily Blurred Because It SOUNDS Spiritual

I know it feels good to feel good. I know it can be easy to blur the lines in music that mentions God, is sung in church, & sounds so spiritual, encouraging, & uplifting…

But beware lest you find yourself unintentionally worshipping yourself instead of God.

I have nothing of myself, but He provides.

I am weak, but He is strong.

Even my righteousness is counted as dirty rags to me, but Jesus makes me righteous because of His sacrifice & my faith in that sacrifice.

I can offer nothing to God that He does not already have & that He has not been the One to give me.

But I can WORSHIP Him as He so richly & rightly deserves.

Does Our Worship Reflect Self-Glory?

So, as you prepare to worship… as the praises begin to ring… ask yourself: “Does our worship reflect self-glory? Or does it give ALL glory to Whom it truly belongs?”

He is my strength & shield & Redeemer.

He is my Maker & my King.

He loves me with an unconditional, everlasting love.

Even in my complete undeserving, I can worship & praise God because He offers His all to me despite me having nothing of worth to offer Him.

Praise GOD!

Shine HOPE by giving God all the glory in all that you do, all that you say, & all that you SING!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Lola the Llama Ornament

LIMITED EDITION – While Supplies Last! This adorable single Lola the Llama ornament will add some fair-trade fun to your decor all year long! Handcrafted by women in a rural family-owned workshop in Mexico, this fun smiling llama with colorful tufted ears and a festive hand-stitched saddle blanket is made with 100% wool felt!

Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Mexico.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

The Move of Continuous Struggles… But… God

You may or may not have followed that my husband & I just moved back to Guam a few months ago & that we are in temporary living until we can work through details for a home purchase.

Well, the saga continues with even more issues. It looks like temporary living is extended yet again & our longings for a HOME put off once more.

To say this entire process has been trying would be an understatement. From the process of the move continually blowing up in our face at the last minute to the MANY trials of the 2.5 days of travel, to now our seemingly never-ending pursuit of a place we can call HOME… it has been ROUGH.

And to admit it continues is disheartening. When does it end? Why is this happening? How many times can stuff go wrong? How many mistakes can be made by how many professionals whose job it is to guide us through this? Why? How? What? WHEN?!

But God has confirmed to us His hand in this, so we are left with a giant “shrug” emoji as our response to it all.

How Can I Trust God When Everything Falls Apart?

We have no clue how God is working or what He is planning, but we know He sure has His hand in it somehow because He has overwhelmed us with reassurance of His guidance for this path.

So, *shrug*

How can I trust God when everything falls apart as it seems to be so readily & consistently doing every step of the way?

Some have told us, “kinda makes you wonder if this is actually where God wanted you if so many things keep going wrong,” & trust me, I have been tempted to think this way sometimes, too, because satan easily & often convinces me of the easy-to-believe LIE that hard=bad & easy=good.

God’s Fingerprints & Reassurance in the STORM

But the ease in how this job came to our attention & how the pieces almost seemed to form together as we followed, without our trying to make it happen, show us His fingerprints in the plan.

And still the fact that EVEN with EVERYTHING seemingly sitcom-worthy nonsensical mishaps & craziness en route just all worked out anyway even though it seemed there would be ABSOLUTELY NO WAY POSSIBLE after everything that went wrong… almost like God was saying, “Nope, not even THAT can keep My plan from moving forward.”

He has SHOWN UP in this.

Hard Hurts

But hard hurts. Hard doesn’t feel good. Hard isn’t easy.

So, hard feels BAD. But hard is just hard.

I want to feel capable & in control, with a plan that I can execute, with God’s help, & feel strong & well able to charge ahead in this new path… but I’m not.

Throw depression in the mix & it’s like, “Really, God? Really?”

It’s like my life & my inner self is being stripped of everything that makes me feel strong & capable…. Glaringly obvious signs that I am NOT, in fact, strong & capable.

And it doesn’t feel good, let me tell you. It does NOT feel good.

So HOW can I trust God when everything falls apart? HOW?

Fearing God Is the Beginning of Wisdom

Because it all boils down to the repeated phrase throughout the Bible, as mentioned so well in Proverbs 9:10, “Fearing God is the beginning of wisdom.”

(Read my previous post on this topic, here: “Fearing God Is the Beginning of Wisdom.”)

That sounds foreboding & menacing, like a threat to submit & fear Him… maybe… but listen up….

For someone who rejects God, then yes, very much yes… you WILL face judgement whether you want to believe Him or accept Him or not. And if you insist on rejecting His grace, you WILL be called on to pay for your sin. The debt will fall on you.

But if you have accepted the gift of God, through Jesus paying your debt in full, submitting your life to Him… fearing God doesn’t come with a sense of doom, but rather facing a fact that God is GOD… & you are not.

So, taking that to heart, God’s absolute authority, Kingship, power, & control as ALMIGHTY GOD… I can trust that even if it seems like a hot mess of a dumpster fire with doom & destruction where absolutely NOTHING seems to work no matter HOW HARD you try… that HE HAS IT COVERED.

PERIOD.

We Know He Has It Covered!

Like I said, through God working the move together despite every turn being met with something or other falling apart at the last minute, coupled with the confirmation He has provided to me & my husband on this path with this house… we KNOW HE HAS IT COVERED.

Is it easy to have no say & absolutely no control whatsoever in this working out? NO!

Is it easy to not know what will happen & having to step forward without knowing where we will end up or when we will be able to call someplace HOME again? NO!!!

Is it easy to trust God when I don’t know His plan? No, no, no!

I have cried. I have felt like giving up. I have struggled with feelings of anger & bitterness. I have intimidated by the problems. I have wanted to just quit & run toward something that feels easier to me. I have had days where I just feel WEIGHED DOWN with ALL of it!

I don’t always have good days where I JUST TRUST. I don’t always submit in prayer immediately or respond with a gracious heart right away. My attitude has not always been honoring to God through this process.

But in those days & times, God whispers over my heart to praise Him, to recalibrate my heart to fix my eyes on Him & not on what I see or can’t see.

He reminds me to trust Him to be better & stronger & more capable than ME… by INFINITE amounts.

He reminds me that He WILL work everything not just for His glory, but always also for my good.

My Role Is to Just. Trust. Him.

And my role? Just. Trust. Him.

Let go & just trust Him.

Fall at His feet. Crawl to His throne. Whisper prayers in my weaknesses. And just trust Him.

“God, help me please oh please to just trust You.”

Shine HOPE by DETERMINING to trust the FACT that He has you, EVEN when EVERYTHING seems to be falling apart. Because He does. Oh, He DOES! Amen!

Just. Trust Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Pippa the Penguin (Vietnam)

LIMITED EDITION – While supplies last! Cuddly, soft, and squeezable, Pippa the Penguin is timeless, fair-trade, holiday fun with a festive red winter scarf! Artisans in Vietnam hand crochet each lovable penguin with soft cotton-blend yarn and gray, white, yellow, and red colors that make this adorable stuffed animal an ideal winter gift or addition to any holiday decor. Each huggable penguin is hand stuffed by visually impaired women in areas of extreme poverty.

Every purchase provides fair-trade jobs for local women and villagers who are overcoming disabilities, homelessness, and extreme poverty in Vietnam. 

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Am I Fit for Motherhood?

Have you ever had the fear that you were not good enough to be a mother or that you would somehow ruin your children if you had any?

Dealing with depression, I have definitely had that fear. When I am at my lowest, I struggle to even take care of myself, so I sometimes am afraid that if God were to give me children, I would do a terrible job at taking care of them in those lows.

I’m also selfish. Well, not all the time… but honestly, there are some days that I think, “I would never have the freedom to do this so easily with children… do I even want them?” And if I have days with those thoughts, how could I ever be fit to be a mother?

Many Women Have This Same Concern

Some ladies have confessed to me that it’s their past that scares them away from motherhood… whether it’s their own childhood with abuse, neglect, or even just the human shortcomings of a parent… or whether it’s their own personal mistakes of their past that make them feel unfit.

And since I have heard this fear expressed multiple times through my life, of: “Oh no, I could never have kids… with my [mental disorder, past, history of mistakes] I would ruin them for sure!”

Take heart with this simple but profound Truth: no one is beyond God’s reach & no one is unredeemable.

God Fills in the Gaps

There are so many strong Christian women I have met who were abused, neglected, cheated on, or were completely failed by their parents in some way & yet, through their surrender to God’s healing hand, their life was redeemed & God used their past for His glory & for their good.

It is common for parents to fail their children in some respect, despite their desperate attempts to avoid doing so… because they are human.

This is not an excuse to use in order to ALLOW the poor behavior, wrong responses, neglect, etc., but is simply a fact. Humans will always fall short.

But the good news is that God is always willing & perfectly able to fill in the gaps.

Scenarios Where God Can Redeem

Picture a military wife, wide-eyed & excited to be wooed by a military man in uniform, falls in love, gets married, has children, & then he gets deployed. Now she’s raising them on her own, she’s tired & stressed & feels alone in the day-to-day, just trying to make it through until he returns… she gets short with her children, easily upset, tense, checked out, sad, frustrated… just living in survival mode, running on empty….

The yelling. The “just leave me alone” over-stimulation. The short temper. The tears.

Will it have a negative impact on her children? Most definitely it will. But… God.

But then picture a new scenario, where a mother has full support from her husband, attends women’s Bible Study to stay filled & encouraged, but on days where she hasn’t gotten enough sleep the night before, she slips & screams in response to her child repeatedly disobeying & ignoring her instructions.

Will that have a negative impact on her children? Most definitely it will. But… God.

And sometimes it is simply just repeating the patterns the mother saw growing up, oblivious to the potential of it being any different because it’s all that has ever been modeled to her.

Will that have a negative impact on her children? Most definitely it will. But… God.

We ALL Fall Short

The point is not to scare you into thinking, “why bother then?!” but to encourage you that NO mother will EVER be perfect. We ALL fail in some regard. And it WILL have a negative impact on the children.

BUT, GOD.

We live in a sin-torn world & God tells us we WILL have trials & tribulation, BUT that HE has overcome the world! (John 16:33)

He also tells us that He PROMISES that EVERYTHING will be worked for the GOOD of those who love Him & are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

We all fall short of His glory. (Romans 3:23-24) He heals & binds up the wounds of the broken-hearted. (Psalm 147:3) He is sufficient. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

In other words, GOD CAN REDEEM ANY PAST & HEAL ANY HURT. And though we do & will fall short… HE IS ENOUGH.

What If I Ruin My Children?

We don’t have to be imprisoned by the fears of all the ways we could mess it up because 1. We can trust that God can help us each step of the way IN our weaknesses & failures, & 2. We can trust that God can heal & redeem anything broken.

This gives me confidence that I can lay down that fear at His feet & say:

“God, I see that I am insufficient. I have my own personal struggles & past hurts & bad patterns that were modeled to me by the world I grew up in (some that I am sure I am not even aware they exist yet!). But God, You are greater. You are sufficient. You can fill in the gaps where I lack. Help me not to be controlled by my fears of insufficiency, but by Your power & love. Help my trust to be in You & not in me. Help me to lay this down. Forgive me for my failures & redeem those situations. Give me wisdom moving forward & help me to always remember to stop & ask for Your help where I am lacking (in mood, wisdom, strength, willpower, patience, & anything else I struggle with in each moment). You are enough. You are sufficient. Praise to You! All glory & honor belong to You. Watch my [potential future] children & hold them in Your capable hand. I love You. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Shine HOPE by laying those fears of “what if I ruin my children?” at His feet & asking Him to redeem in your mistakes day-by-day.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Noel Nativity Art (Haiti)

LIMITED EDITION – While supplies last! Wish everyone on your gift list Merry Christmas with this ethically made Noel Nativity Art from Haiti! Artisans meticulously hand cut, hammer, and embellish the word NOEL with Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus in a manger beneath the nativity star. Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for Artisans in Haiti.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Let’s Take It a Step Further…

Stemming off of last week’s topic: “Overcoming Stubbornness: More Willpower or More Surrender?”, where I fleshed out the important distinction between more willpower versus more surrender when trying to overcome personal stubbornness or hard-heartedness is this very important need for daily repentance.

Now, this is not repentance unto salvation, as in when we recognize we are personally sinful & have personally wronged God & are deserving of His wrath & so also recognize & admit our need for Jesus Christ to cover that sin & make us right before God unto our forgiveness by God once & for all, by admitting our wrongs to Him, asking His forgiveness, & turning away from indulging in those sins….

This is not the repentance I am referring to in this post, but rather committing to a consistent heart-posture of laying my daily pride or selfish thoughts or thinking I know better or doubting God or complaining versus praising… this is a repentance of continually being willing to admit to God that I am wrong & He is right & asking Him to restore & grow me in His will & way, putting my trust fully in Jesus’ FINISHED work on my behalf.

What Is Sanctification & When Is It Complete?

Sanctification is a work that God does in you through the Holy Spirit. It is not immediate. It is not instant. It is a lifelong process of renewal & growth, weeding out the sinful patterns we grow up with & exchanging those for God’s will, way, & perspective in all things.

Because my sanctification is lifelong, I will continue to make mistakes & get it wrong along the way as I learn & grow. I do make mistakes… & sometimes intentionally, out of pride or hard-heartedness & selfishness of wanting to cling to His blessings & comforts more than I cling to Him as the One Who blesses & comforts.

And my mistakes are seen in having those little thoughts of praying & then acting versus praying & then waiting on Him or clinging to comforts He provides over clinging to Him or any number of ways that I get it wrong.

It is so easy to see my balance sheet of life, if you will, begin to pile up with my wrongs… & if I am not quick to trust on the grace of Jesus, holding in those wrongs & trying to just ignore them &/or move past them, because they continue to pile as I continue to make mistakes, Satan will undoubtedly begin to exploit that & tempt me to believe that my mistakes are too great for the grace of Jesus.

Don’t Let Satan’s Cunning Trick You into Acting on a LIE

I can’t tell you how many times in my life, having been a Christian (accepting Jesus to cover my sin) since I was a child, that I have allowed Satan to convince me of that… that my sin is just too great… that I shouldn’t disgrace God’s grace by asking forgiveness for the millionth time of my life… that I should just bottle that guilt & live under the weight of it because it’s what I deserve.

And inevitably, when I did get tricked into believing that & I let that guilt & shame pile & pile upon me, I began to drift away from my relationship with God because of my shame & the weight of my wrongs being too painful to face... which is exactly what Satan wanted.

But let me tell you something: JESUS PAID FOR THAT, TOO.

Jesus paid for that. He knows I can’t save myself. I can’t even BEGIN to save myself… that’s why—JESUS came & JESUS paid… ONCE & for ALL.

HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT!

And to deny the depth of His grace is a much greater offense to God, because believing we shouldn’t come freely to Him about our sins as they happen tells Him that we believe His grace to be lacking.

Keep Short Accounts with God

Don’t determine to carry the weight of your wrong behaviors, attitudes, thoughts, or actions. Come clean as soon as you realize it. Embrace & grasp hold of His grace every moment.

“God, I’m sorry I just thought that. Please forgive me & help change my pattern of thinking to better honor & please You. Thank You Jesus for paying for that, too.”

“God, I’m sorry I just doubted You when You prompted that on my heart. Please forgive me for thinking of You less than You are. Thank You Jesus for paying for that wrong thought.”

“God, I am sorry I judged them. I am no better. Forgive my pride & thank You Jesus for paying for that.”

“God, I am sorry I didn’t wait on You & instead acted on my opinion after I prayed to You for help. It shows I am not trusting Your timing, willingness to help, &/or Your power. Please forgive me & remind me that I CAN wait on You & trust Your timing to be perfect. Thank You Jesus for paying for that, too.”

“God I am sorry for being rude & lacking graciousness & patience just now. Forgive me & help me to rely on You for help next time. Thank You, Jesus for covering that.”

Don’t wait. Don’t hold it in with shame or guilt. Don’t avoid going to God. Don’t try to just do better without apologizing for not getting it right this time. Trust that Jesus is enough for that, too.

Apologize & ask for His help with better patterns & impulses moving forward, to trust Him first.

And trust that Jesus’ payment on the cross & rising again victorious over death & your sin is an ALL-SUFFICIENT GRACE.

The Great Power of Daily Repentance

That repeated, consistent, daily repentance habit is what allows a surrendered heart to grow in you… an understanding that you are weak, but He is strong… you are insufficient, but He is ALL-sufficient. It cultivates a submitted, humbled heart before an Almighty, loving GOD, freed from the great burden of shame & guilt by the power of Jesus–daily.

Not more willpower, but more surrender.

Because Jesus paid for that, too. That unwillingness, bad habit, bad attitude, poor reaction, selfish desire, prideful thought, ALL OF IT. PAID IN FULL. Because of Jesus—hallelujah!

Shine HOPE by living the habit of & shining the great power of daily repentance because Jesus is always sufficiently enough in all things.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Woodland Friends (India)

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase these Woodland Friends & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

I Don’t Determine What Is True… God Does

I am a stubborn person & my past demonstrates my constant desire to “fact check” God.

When I used to read God’s Word, the Bible, I would do so comparing it to what I “already knew about the world” & sort of parse through it with that lens, as if I were determining which parts of the Bible I could rely on.

Now, I know, this seems incredibly arrogant of me, but my view of the Bible was that of a slightly outdated tool that could still be useful today versus the living, active (still completely accurate TRUTH) of Almighty God.

And because I viewed the Bible this way, I would read it, looking for the Truths that I could still apply today… the little “nuggets of wisdom” still tucked in its pages, if you will. And when I felt God highlight a certain part in my heart, I would determine which parts to toss aside because it didn’t mesh well with what I could logic & then try to follow the rest.

But now God has shown me that His Word is living & active, sharper than a two-edged sword & that if I don’t understand something to possibly be true, with my logic, reasoning, & understanding, then I am the one missing something, not God… & I have learned to take that gap to Him when I feel one, to seek His wisdom & understanding on the issue to better align myself with His Word.

Because God determines what is true–not ME.

I Tend to Second-Guess God First

But, my stubbornness does not end with me hesitating to full-on trust whatever God says as is, apart from my understanding or “getting” it. My stubbornness can most often be recognized through my hesitation to obey.

What do I mean by a hesitation to obey? I mean, being a Christian since I was 5, I did not read my Bible all the way through now read it consistently/daily until just a few years ago, even though I know it honors God to learn His Word & to meditate on His Truth daily.

I struggle doing uncomfortable things. I struggle reaching out to someone who seems gruff when God puts them on my heart. I struggle speaking truth, in love, to someone God nudges me to speak to. I struggle feeling inadequate & so wanting to keep hidden in the background versus stepping out to connect.

I struggle with stubbornness because I second-guess God.

Are “Good Intentions” Good Enough for God?

I used to think this was on me to fix. I would try to set daily schedules & routines, which would get forgotten or missed & then the habits would quickly fade into the forgotten.

I used to think I just needed to be “a better Christian” to achieve that level of obedience & well, I just wasn’t that yet.

I used to think “I’m just not good at concentrating that long” or “I’m just not good at speaking up” or “I am just insecure, that’s life.”

I used to think I was just too easily distracted or that I just couldn’t very well control disruptions from others, so “it’s not really even my fault.”

In other words… I had excuses lined out the door because overcoming my stubbornness seemed an undefeatable feat. And yet, I had good intentions… so “God understands.” But God knows I need His help & that He is willing to offer His help, so really, I was hiding my disobedience behind my good intentions because that just seemed easier.

I struggle with stubbornness.

Overcoming Stubbornness: More Willpower or More Surrender?

But something happened along the way, as I prayed about this insurmountable obstacle within myself… God showed me that overcoming my stubbornness had very little to do with what I could manage, & all to do with what HE could.

In other words, overcoming stubbornness is not about more willpower, but more surrender to His help.

If I truly AM willing, versus making excuses to avoid that which seems uncomfortable to me, then there is definite, sure HOPE because my overcoming has very little to do with what I am personally capable of doing & so much more to do with my willingness to surrender that lacking for His help instead.

Be wary of human wisdom, yours or that of anyone else… no matter how popular or appealing or intelligent they may seem. If anything contradicts God, it’s wrong. PERIOD.

A Prayer of Surrender

What does that surrender look like? It looks like a humbled, willing heart of prayer to an Almighty, loving God:

“God, I know this honors You, so I want to do it. I know I ought to trust Your Word 100%, so I want to do it. But, I feel so stubborn! Why do I resist You at every turn? Why does it feel the odds are always stacked against me? Why is it so HARD to just trust & obey when I know I ought to!? Please forgive my stubborn, selfish heart. Forgive me for forgetting. Forgive me for it being less of an absolute priority to me than it ought to be. Forgive me. And help me. Take my unwilling, hesitant heart. Shape me to Your will & way. Give me Your wisdom in the how & Your strength in the doing. Help me to stop at my self-made roadblock & instead of turning around to head the opposite way, help me to stop & pray. Help me to determine to keep asking in it versus a one-time prayer & then, “nope, still too hard, BYE!” Help me to SIT & WAIT & say, ‘God, I am not moving from this until You help me because I want to obey You but I need Your help!’ Help me to be persistent in my prayer for Your help versus giving it up when it stays hard. Habits take time to cultivate & grow, so help me just keep asking You for help in it each & every time, because You ARE enough, even when I am just a complete stubborn fail. Thank You for Your faithful persistence in Your love for me. Thank You for Your future help with this. Help me live to love & honor You above all else in this world. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Overcoming stubbornness is NOT easy. It feels impossible sometimes, even.

But… God.

Trust Him, lean into Him, & let Him show you that He indeed is quite sufficient in it.

Shine HOPE by not trying to overcome stubbornness, but rather by surrendering it to Him for His help in the overcoming.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Botanica Charms Set (India)

Designed to coordinate with your other favorite Botanica Collection designs, this set of six pairs of versatile jade, Acacia wood, ethically collected animal bone, & metal charms are handcrafted in India by Artisans who are committed to fighting child marriage & providing opportunities for women to become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans. Designed to mix & match, create a new look each time you wear them with our Customizable Silver Hoops or your favorite bracelets & necklaces!

Every purchase supports vulnerable women in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Redeeming the Narrative

Okay, let’s take a moment to kick Satan out of this conversation. He has too long written the narrative for mental illness & it is about time we take it back & place it under our loving ALMIGHTY God.

So, if you are no stranger to my blog, then you know by now that I talk about my battle with depression—a lot—how it has shaped me, how it torments me in some seasons of my life, & how God has used it in my life to make Himself & His love known to me.

But something I have not really addressed, at least not with much detail, is how to parse through a life with mental illness & come out with victory versus defeat. So, let’s redeem the narrative.

Victory In, After, & Through

Now, I am not talking only about victory after the fact… you know, the struggle & fight & maybe eventual crash that God uses to show Himself sovereign, in control at all times, faithful, full of grace & love, & His ever willingness to turn any bad in my life for His glory AND my good… But victory IN & THROUGH the struggle as well!

For me, this seems to be an occasion for a good eye roll. “In & through the struggle” means the struggle is still going on, so how can that mean any victory is happening at all???

But hang with me & let’s flesh this out so that if you struggle with a mental illness (or any illness, really) or whether you simply know someone with that struggle… then you know how to have wise discernment in it, you know how to pray through it, & you know you don’t HAVE to give in to it—you CAN have victory IN & THROUGH it!

Our Struggle or Sin Does Not Define Us

First of all, we need to recognize that one of the cunning tactics of the devil is that he loves to take our struggles with sin or our circumstances & wrap them into our identity.

Satan does this with homosexuality, for example, as we can clearly see in our culture today. God gave me the discernment to see there are no “homosexuals” only PEOPLE. Some people PRACTICE homosexuality & some don’t, but all are PEOPLE—an important distinction!

The same is becoming true with regard to mental illness. “I struggle with mental illness” is becoming an identifier for ourselves.

This isn’t necessarily sinful, but rather a way we learn how to relate to the world & accept our limitations, but Satan is not without his tricks & cunning manipulations.

When we begin to IDENTIFY as “one who struggles with ________________ mental illness,” we can fall into the trap of limiting ourselves along with the limitations that illness creates within us… & limiting God right along with it!

The Five Parts

So, today, I want to break apart this issue of depression (or mental illness) into the 5 separate parts involved in how we identify mental illness (cause, symptoms, consequences of symptoms, Satan’s exploitation of those, & our CHOICE in how we respond to it all) & help us understand mental illness with discernment so we do not have to feel controlled by it.

I want to break mental illness into five parts—I will be using depression as my example, since that is my personal struggle, but this can be applied to any limitation you face mentally or physically.

Parts 1-3 (Cause, Symptoms, & Consequences of Symptoms)

First, consider the actual, medical problem that exists, also known as the cause—for example, depression can mean that your body does not properly regulate how much serotonin or dopamine is released in your body.

So, secondly, because your body does not produce or regulate well its proper levels of these chemicals in your brain… the symptoms, or the second part of depression, are what results from this lowered or unregulated release of these chemicals in your brain. The symptoms may include sluggishness, feeling tired or checked out or numb to goings on around you. You can feel a lack of energy or excitement.

And now, the third part would be the consequences of the symptoms… maybe not being as engaging, cheerful or personable, tasks seeming more difficult to complete, you don’t feel happiness in accomplishing tasks, making simple tasks feel complicated, frustrating, &/or difficult. In short, life feels HARD even in situations where those things may typically seem simpler or easier for us or others.

Part 4-Satan’s Exploitations of Our Weak Spots

Here is where we typically go wrong in how we determine what IS depression or mental health: Satan’s exploiting those symptoms & consequences, using our limitations & insecurities.

These manipulating exploitations often feed off of insecurities or poor reactions from others & sound similar to: “you are no fun at social gatherings, so just stop going & just avoid people altogether-who cares about them anyway, you don’t need them.” Or “You annoy everyone with your symptoms, so they would be better off without you,” or “everything is hard all the time because you’re a failure of a human being, so just quit already.”

These are twistings of the truth & that is Satan’s specialty. He is cunning & has had a lot of practice. He knows where to hit us & how to kick us when we’re down. He is a liar. (John 8:43-44)

Part 5-The Choice

But that is where part #5 comes in: WE HAVE A CHOICE IN HOW WE RESPOND.

We can either A.) believe Satan’s lies, cave under the weight, & just give up trying because everything just feels hard & quitting just feels like the easier &/or only option.

OR, B.) we can CHOOSE to DETERMINE to cling to God as our hope, our strength, & our comfort. This one takes a humbled, surrendered heart for God’s help to replace our desire for self-sufficiency.

My Cravings for Self-Sufficiency… But… God

I get it. I struggle EVERY time with this choice. I crave easy. I crave comfort. Easy & comfort are some of my main idols in life that I wrestle regularly. It seems SO MUCH EASIER to just be like, “screw it. It’s too hard. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t have it in me to always have it this hard ALL THE TIME!”

BUT… God.

I like to feel capable & in control. I like to feel like “I got this!” & move with confidence that I can handle anything life throws at me… that I can figure it out & work past it & do okay.

But depression reminds me that this isn’t real. I am NOT enough. I DON’T have enough strength. I WANT to quit. I WANT to be capable in & of MYSELF, but I’m NOT!

But… God.

I Am Not Meant to be Self-Sufficient

I’m not meant to be self-sufficient. I was made (& you were made) to have God be our sufficiency. WE WERE MADE TO NEED HIM.

And that’s hard for me, to be honest. It’s really hard.

I don’t like feeling weak. I don’t like SIMPLE tasks feeling SO DANG HARD. I don’t like struggling. I don’t like not being enough. I don’t like when things don’t wrap up all neatly with a nice pretty bow on top.

Depression brings me to the end of myself quite frequently & I quit… a lot.

But when I make a pattern of quitting, Satan knows his tricks well… they seem easier… they seem better… they may even seem like the only option left… but continuing to quit leads to darker & dimmer & a spiral of despair that leads to a darkness so thick you don’t even know how to get out anymore… & Satan knows it.

But… God.

With God, There Is ALWAYS Hope

God can get you out of that darkness you don’t know how to find your way out of… But He can help you well before that, too.

But it takes humility. I’m not going to lie to you… Humility & surrender is HARD, but not as hard as giving up will end up being.

I have to be willing to accept my weakness… my limitations… the HARD, take them to God, & say:

“God, please help me. Help me discern the lies of Satan so he can’t trick me anymore. Don’t let me follow him. Help me cling to You. Help me trust You to be my enough. Humble me to accept YOU as my strength when I have none. To trust You as sufficient in my struggle. To trust You as my comfort. Teach me HOW to do that. I don’t want to live according to Satan’s tricks anymore. I want to choose You—I want to choose LIFE. You are my LIFE. You breathe life into me, so please do that now. Bring joy where I only feel pain. Bring Your strength where I only feel weakness. Help me to praise You IN this. Don’t let me retract into loneliness. Help me give grace to my family & friends because I don’t understand why everything is so hard—it doesn’t make sense to me how it can be this hard—so how can I expect them to understand? Forgive me for my anger at them for not understanding. Forgive me for wanting my control back, for wanting to feel capable & self-sufficient. Help me slump into You. Help me grasp hold of Your hand. Help me trust You against every odd. You are enough for me. Help me to remember that You are enough for me. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!”

Understanding Depression with Discernment

Hard doesn’t have to equal bad… it’s just hard… & that’s okay, because HARD allows us a reminder that we are not enough & to look to Him who IS.

Hard allows us the miraculous insight into the grace & love & comfort & peace & strength & faithfulness & HOPE of God. WHAT AN UNCOMPARABLE GIFT!!!

And check this: Easy doesn’t always mean GOOD. And don’t let Satan convince you otherwise. God calls him the father of lies for a reason. (John 8:43-44)

Don’t define yourself or others by an illness, instead, consider the 5 parts so you know how to ask God for help & how to discern where Satan may be trying to exploit your symptoms & the consequences of those symptoms. God is greater still!

Shine HOPE by CLINGING to God & HIS Truth, HIS comfort, HIS strength, HIS peace, HIS faithfulness, HIS love, & HIS grace, even when you can’t seem to find any of that within yourself.

HE. IS. ENOUGH.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Turtle Backpack (Guatemala)

Handcrafted in Guatemala from upcycled traditional Mayan tipico fabric, every 100% cotton backpack features a zipper closure & totally unique patterns & colors. Send your kids to school with this adorable turtle backpack to help moms in Guatemala send their kids to school too!

Every purchase supports women in areas of extreme poverty in Guatemala.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

“For God Has Not Given Us a Spirit of Fear”

Have you ever heard the words of 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”?

Growing up going to church, I have heard this verse quoted many a time. But oftentimes when quoted, this verse takes on notes of reprimand, as in: “Why are you afraid? God tells us He hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, so you shouldn’t be afraid. So stop it!”

Well, this is very true in that we shouldn’t be afraid, but I think I misunderstood the heart behind this God-given Truth for most of my life.

Not Condemnation, But Fact

I always felt condemnation from that verse, as if ‘how dare you demonstrate or feel fear, you’re obviously not trusting God enough.’

But, if we look at Judges 6 & 7, with the story about Gideon’s fear, we can clearly see that God did not condemn Gideon for his fear, but was patient in revealing His ability to save in the midst of the many reasons he had to fear.

This helped me better understand God’s heart behind 2 Timothy 1:7, not coming with a voice of condemnation, but rather of revealing a fact. In other words, He is telling us that the fear we feel is not something from Him, it is not something we need to feel imprisoned or paralyzed by.

But… GOD–He Is Bigger Than Any Fear I Could Face

Fear may be felt when we face the unknown or when tragedy leaves us feeling broken or when we’re faced with tremendous trials that seem insurmountable… but we can take heart because that fear is not in our design… it’s a natural response of me as a human facing my limitations.

But… God.

That fear isn’t from Him. We don’t HAVE to let it consume us. It’s a message of HOPE, not condemnation!

That even if we face our biggest fear & that fear threatens to envelop & control our joy, our peace, our confidence… we have the ability to say, “No. I will not let this consume me because this isn’t from God, it’s a fleshly response, but God is bigger & greater than me or any fearful situation I may face, so I can trust in Him more than I cave into my fear!”

God Is Patient, Kind, & Understanding with My Fears… But He Doesn’t Want to Let Them Continue to Control the Narrative of My Life

God was so patient with Gideon when he doubted & feared & questioned constantly, as if to say, “who me??? ME?!? Are you sure You’re talking to the right person here, God? Me? I can’t do that… but, if it is really You & You really will help me overcome this great enemy, I can walk in boldness… so show me, confirm for me that it really is Your call… & I will go.”

But then Gideon seemed to pray that a few times during the story… not unlike ME when faced with something I fear. I want to know that I know that I know that it’s HIM calling me to go before I go. I can trust going only if I know it’s Him calling me to go.

And God patiently revealed that it was indeed Him leading the way, assuring Gideon that no matter how scary & daunting & doomsday-approaching his situation might seem, he doesn’t have to be controlled by that fear any longer because God was with him, assuring victory Himself.

Asking for Confirmation Versus Using Delay Tactics

God doesn’t want me to test Him as a delay tactic to avoid obedience to what I already know is His leading… but if the odds seem stacked against me & I have seen something I have tried fail over & over & OVER again… He understands my fear & is willing to patiently reveal His leading to confirm in my heart that it really is Him… so I can walk forward in confident obedience in Him, through Him.

As in my commitment fears before I married my husband. I wanted to get married, but I was so scared of the future uncertainties. I wanted to trust God to be leading me, but I needed to know it was really of Him & not just me WANTING it to be Him.

And God reassured in many ways as He led the way to the alter when I married my husband of now 10 years. So glad I trusted God more than my fears & I am so glad God patiently assured my of His lead MANY times!

Letting My Fear Control Me… Versus Finding Freedom in Trusting Those Fears to HIM

I know this example may seem silly to you, but something I am praying about is whether to volunteer with a foster aid group here on Guam. It seems silly to be afraid to move forward in this, since it’s for a good cause… but my past makes me afraid.

You see, as much as I know He has given me peace beyond the impossible with so many failed attempts for children of my own… He has provided a peace I didn’t think I could possess… but God has used this volunteer opportunity to bring to light the fear I was holding in my heart (unbeknownst to me), tucked deep within my heart.

I have a fear of opening my heart for other people’s children for fear that it will remind me of what I don’t have… children of my own. So I tend to keep them at arm’s length & not interact much or at all with them, for fear of me wanting what I don’t have myself.

My Journey of Childlessness & the Walls of Fear I Have Built

You see, I have had tests done. I have taken supplements & Chinese herbs prescribed in Japan. I have, in my past, done countless ovulation tests & temperature-taking charts. I have felt the joy of expectation & hope only to realize it wasn’t going to happen again this time either….

In fact, the stress of continual disappointment became so constant & discouraging that I had to just give up on all the charting & checking & testing & just say to God, “God, if You want it to happen, I am just going to just trust You to make it happen in Your timing, & if not, then… not. Help me to trust You no matter what & in whatever timing. Amen.”

But then more years passed & no children came.

And what I didn’t notice was that in all of that heartache, I had subconsciously begun to build a wall of protection around my heart to protect myself.

And sometimes those feelings hit me off guard when I start to let my guard down around friends’ kids. And then I am suddenly knocked off my feet by grief of what may never be.

God Revealed My Hidden Fears So I Could Be Reminded That He Has Not Given Me a Spirit of Fear

This volunteer opportunity revealed to me that while I am not overcome by my sadness, I am also not completely trusting that fear to Him… I am trying to keep other kids at a distance to protect MYSELF versus opening my heart AND trusting Him to care for me.

It is something I need to admit & repent of to God, to say, “I see it now & I am sorry. I see now that I am building a wall around my heart instead of trusting You to protect & care for it. I am trusting me more than You & I am sorry Please help me trust You with my fear more than I hide from my fear.”

And maybe that’s why I feel the nudge to volunteer there… to reveal to me my need to let go myself & let God take care of my heart & my fears instead. Maybe He is whispering over my heart: “It’s time to let go of this fear. It’s time to stop letting it control you & your willingness to open your heart to children that won’t ever be yours. It’s time to love others & trust My love as sufficient for you, come what may. You don’t have to be held captive by this anymore. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Does God Condemn My Fear?

God doesn’t condemn my fear. He knows it’s human.

But He also knows I don’t have to be controlled or limited by it because it’s not from Him & He’s big enough for the both of us. He doesn’t want it to have any hold on my whatsoever.

He gives me power to overcome that fear. He gives me His love to conquer & overpower that fear. And He gives me a sound mind of peace & assurance over that fear… because HE IS GREATER.

What a comfort that He is so understanding, so patient & caring, & SO determined to not allow fear to keep me powerless, timid, afraid, & kept at a distance.

I can have confidence walking through my fears because HE is my confidence through them. I don’t have to be afraid. Praise GOD!

Shine HOPE by admitting your fears, taking your fears to Him, & asking for Him to help you overcome with His power, love, & assured peace to move forward… trusting Him more than you do any of your fears.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Flora Baseball Cap (Mexico)

Celebrate summer in style with this hand-embroidered Flora Baseball Cap from Mexico! This adjustable, spring-green, cotton canvas cap features feminine & fun muted pink, cream, & rust floral embroidery on the front right side. One size fits most.

Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Mexico!

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

I Didn’t Plan to Talk About This Today, But Here Goes…

I sat down today, ready to write, with my blog post topic ideas list in hand… but I guess God has something different in store for today.

I struggle with depression & depression is often highly misunderstood & oftentimes avoided by others, as if to say: “it doesn’t make sense to me how you can feel this way, so it makes me uncomfortable being around you when you talk about it.”

But it can also be so easy to allow my depression to take over my life.

With Depression, Life Is Hard… But Hard Doesn’t Have to Equal Bad

It’s true that people seem to default toward gaslighting & downplaying the struggle of depression symptoms, because 1. They don’t understand it, & 2. It makes them uncomfortable that they don’t understand it, but it’s also true that it can be easy to just give in to it & use it as an excuse to avoid life—because, with depression, life is hard.

And, while it’s not great when people try to minimize my struggle, I also have a responsibility to not use that as an excuse to “show people just how hard it really is” & give up… because sometimes that’s the temptation for me.

I Am Losing Some Ground in the Tug of War with Depression

If you have been following my posts recently, it’s probably no surprise to you that my depression symptoms have started to take a stronger grip on me lately–change is hard.

My temporary living space is somewhat depressing (some mold found, new cat litter is terrible at blocking smells in this tiny space, + I have to pretty much start my life completely over here in finding my place in this new space).

Moving is hard & it’s especially hard on the spouse, I would argue, because the one moving for the new job gets to plug right into their new job, while the spouse has to start from scratch & just figure something out every time.

Our moving process was hard this go around as well—with so, so many things that went wrong or fell through (of which it seemed God just stepped in every single time & was like, “Nah, I am going to just make it work out anyway, even though it really shouldn’t be possible at this point.” So effortless for Him when everything was falling apart at the seams, but it wasn’t a fun experience to go through—except in hindsight, seeing all the many ways God came through when there seemed to be no way forward.

So, with all the goodbyes, the suddenness of the move in general, the falling apart at the seams process, to now a depressing tiny apartment for the next month, + now starting my life over… again… well, it’s been pretty rough on me… & I have not handled it so well.

Sometimes, It’s Good to Cry It Out

Crying is cathartic for me. When stress builds up or I have to go through hard things, allowing myself to cry is a release… but lately, I have felt the need to cry almost daily.

My depression symptoms make it hard to function on top of all that I mentioned. I often have brain fog & feel empty & numb, like I’m someone who really cares trapped in a body/brain of an overwhelming “so what, who cares, what’s the point?” It’s maddening because I want to try but I just go into a numb fog where even simple things just feel so much more difficult than normal.

Satan Likes to Twist the Truth

And then, in my weakness, my vulnerability… Satan is at the wait… ready to lace everything with insecurities, highlighting every failure & slump, the reactions of people I care about… reactions even of facial expressions that say, “Really? Again? *sigh*,” & Satan jumps in to remind me, “look, not only is your life harder right now because of your depression symptoms, but you’re burdening everyone you care about. Now their life is harder just having you be a part of it. They shouldn’t have to deal with your problems.”

And, to an extent, he is right. And because satan likes to take truths & twist them, he is ready & waiting to do just that. The truth is, those people do still care about me. Do they like facing my burdens? Probably not. But they would rather have me with those burdens than not have me at all.

So, when people downplay or gaslight me, it just feels like he’s right. Period.

But I have to remember something very important: that whether others get it or not, whether they handle it well or not, whether it’s easy or not… the symptoms are real & they do make my life harder than it should be, but they don’t define me.

Depression & Me

Hard doesn’t have to mean bad.

And that’s my responsibility. I can’t hide behind the hard.

I have to be willing to submit the hard to God versus letting the hard define who I am.

I must determine to take that hard to God & say, “God, I am trapped by this. I feel like I’m drowning in it. I feel like I am ruining everyone else’s life just by existing. Please help me! Help me see that You are still in control! Give me peace that seems impossible! Help me to cling to You versus letting go when it feels easier to let go. Help me trust You come what may. Help shut out the lies of satan. Help me to surrender this struggle to You. Give me courage to step out of my survival mode to try something new—volunteer, a job, a friendship, discipling a young lady, something. Give me a purpose. Show me Your plan & purpose for me here. Hold my head above the water. Help me not to just give up & give in to the weight on me. Help me trust Your strength when I feel I have none left. Help me to be gracious to others who don’t understand or who discount what I say. Help me cling to You & not their understanding or lack thereof. Help me to be willing to go where You lead, even if it doesn’t seem ideal. Show me Your path & light my way & be my Comforter in this storm. Don’t give up on me & don’t let me give up on myself. You are greater. Your love is infinite. I have hope because of these things. I have hope because I know You care always & always have a plan. Guide me & lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. Help me to praise You in my storm. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Don’t Romanticize the Idea of Giving Up–Determine to Cling to HOPE… Sure, Real, Trustworthy HOPE

Sometimes I romanticize giving up (not suicide at this point, but just to stop trying at life), because it seems so ideal to just no longer care so “it doesn’t have to be hard anymore,” but again, that is a twisted lie from Satan..

So I have to be willing to keep fighting by submitting that romanticized “solution” of mine to God’s feet & saying, “God, giving up seems so appealing because it feels so much easier than continuing to care so much, but I know that is a trap & a lie that will lead to even darker & deeper despair, so remind me to lay aside that fantasy to quit & instead fall into You for help, determining to trust You against ALL ODDS. You are enough. Help me to remember that & cling to that NO MATTER WHAT. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Depression Is HARD… Some Won’t Understand It… But God’s Still Got Me… & That’s the TRUTH

Depression is HARD. It annoys me & everyone else around me who has to deal with me not being “cheery enough” to the socially accepted amount. It annoys me that I annoy others. I feel like a failure of a human some days.

But I don’t want to let satan write the script. I don’t want to believe his lies.

I want freedom, but even if not, I want to remember that God is good & He’s got me & He has a plan to use it for my good & His glory. Always. 100%. Even if I can’t see that now. I know it.

Shine hope by determining, against all odds, to trust that God has you in His hand, will care for & comfort you in the storm, & has a plan always to turn it for your good & His glory. Because THAT is the TRUTH.

Say it with me: “You’re done here, satan.”

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Heritage Earrings (Haiti)

Make a fair-trade fashion statement with these totally unique ethically made earrings from Haiti! These hand-beaded Heritage Earrings are reminiscent of delicate butterfly wings with 14k gold-plated studs, eye-catching black & white oval designs, & cascading fringed ends with maroon & gold-tone accents. Every purchase of these stunning earrings helps provide these Artisans in Haiti with safe jobs, fair wages, educational resources, & counseling.

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!