Trying to Find My Place

Have you ever felt like you don’t measure up to anyone else’s expectations?

Do you ever feel like the oddball? Or is it just me…?

Maybe you feel too loud… or too quiet.

Maybe your interests don’t seem to line up with anyone else’s & you feel like you don’t quite “fit in” anywhere?

Maybe you never were that good at sports or maybe you lack a green thumb or maybe your craft DIY projects look more like a 3-year old who got into the craft supplies.

Maybe everyone else seems to mingle with ease, while you stuff your face with whatever food they have to offer, sitting as far away from the awkward social interactions as possible. (*coughdonethatcough*)

Have you ever felt like the “ugly duckling” of the group? Like you don’t fit in & don’t measure up & just don’t belong anywhere?

I have. Oh, I have.

I grew up feeling super shy. I know, some of you may not believe that, but boy is it true!

I was so desperate to fit in & “belong.”

“Do You Like Me? Check Yes or No.”

I remember being in 4^th grade & I felt so ashamed that I didn’t have a crush on anyone because that seemed to be the talk of every girl on the playground, so I picked a guy at random whom I thought was cute & would “gush” about him so I would feel part of the normal girl crowd.

Lame, I know.

Don’t worry… On the last day of school, since I no longer would have a playground circle of girls discussing their current crushes… I wrote him a note that said I decided I didn’t like him anymore.

OUCH, I know… but honestly, I think he was probably quite relieved because boy were my “love” notes LAME. “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” He ALWAYS checked NO… or more like circled it several times, highlighted it, & drew several arrows toward it. (Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but sadly too close to reality, haha.)

My Super Power Is Being Socially Awkward

Maybe you’re thinking, “Well Michelle, that was 4th grade. EVERYONE was awkward at that age.” Well, I wish I could say it stopped back then.

It’s ridiculous the things we can do to be liked, isn’t it? And trust me, the examples of mine did NOT end in 4^th grade, although I REALLY wish I could honestly say that they did.

A majority of my most embarrassing moments, which I can usually laugh about now, were due to me just trying too dang hard to be liked by everyone else.

“Please Like Me!!”

Even my dating years consisted of me trying tirelessly to be the “perfect” girlfriend while trying to NEVER assert my own opinions or feelings, afraid to be considered too much of a burden.

I kept my real self locked away & I tried to be everything they could ever want: flirty, fun, supportive, good listener, funny, laughing at their jokes, agreeing with everything, trying to match my interests to theirs, wanting so badly to just be accepted & wanted, not realizing I wasn’t even giving them a fair chance to do so, locking the real me away.

The silly things we do to be loved. And wanted.

Trying Too Hard

I used to hear things about God’s love for me & never really got it. I would hear that my “identity is in Him & not in me trying to be enough.” I didn’t know what that meant either.

A majority of my life can be summed up by me trying to be what I thought everyone wanted or expected from me… always feeling like I never quite got it right.

Basically, the phrase “trying too hard” was an accurate summary of my life.

It makes people uncomfortable when they can tell you’re trying too hard. And yet, I didn’t feel I was good enough on my own & was always over-compensating.

The Things We Do to be Liked

Maybe you read this & think, “Michelle, you are exaggerating… I have NEVER felt this way about you!” Well, thanks for lying… haha… but really, some of you may be thinking, “Oh yeah, I definitely have gotten that vibe from you. This explains so much.”

But, while I still struggle with insecurity & feeling like I fit in sometimes, I have grown SO MUCH in this area because of one beautiful & simple thing… I started understanding those 2 things I mentioned about God & how that impacts where I “FIT.”

Where We Stand with God

I think a lot of us who grow up in church take for granted “churchy” phrases they may have heard their whole lives, while never really grasping their significance or even their meaning, while those who don’t know Jesus just have no clue, period.

So, let’s take some time to hopefully remind us all, including awkward, lovely me, where we stand with God… to hopefully help us overcome this strong, pulling desire to be liked, wanted, & to fit in with those around us.

How Do We KNOW God Loves Us?

Let’s start at the beginning… the before-the-world-even-BEGAN, beginning. Our Alpha & Omega God.

God knew He was going to make you even then. He knew all the ways you would fail, in the small & big things. He knew. And yet, not only did His plan to make you remain, but He also made sure there would be a plan in place, through Jesus coming to die on our behalf & rise again victorious, to make you right before God again & restore that relationship FOR you. Our Creator, Redeemer God.

Then He made Earth, full of beauty & all you would need to survive, sustaining you & helping you to live a life of JOY. Beautiful sights to behold: sunsets, waterfalls, flowers, animals, stars, oceans, mountains, fish, birds… Smells that delight the senses… Textures that comfort, relax, refresh, invigorate… Sounds that soothe, uplift, encourage, comfort, surprise… Tastes that make you mmmmmmmm. He made all that possible for you to enjoy. Yes, it is broken by sin, but there is still SO MUCH beauty to enjoy. Our Wise, Creative & Lavishing-of-Love God.

How Do We Determine Our TRUE Identity?

Then He made YOU, individual, unique, crafted by hand, knit together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-16), designed by GOD. He made not only humanity, but YOU… specifically YOU. Your identity is wrapped up in the fact that He made you with a design & a purpose that He worked out for you ahead of time & that you will discover more as you lean into His guidance & lead… Our Creator & Father God.

AND, He sent Jesus to die on your behalf, before you were even born, so that when you realized your need for Him, He would be ready with open arms to welcome you home… Jesus having paid the price of your rebellion & mistakes & all you have to do is ACCEPT that gift to you. Your identity is wrapped up in His grace for you, paying your debt & making you whole once more. Our Redeemer, Rescuer God.

With You Every Step of Life

AND, He had the Bible written for you. His Word. To us. Instructions, advice, & a story laced throughout with love & redemption for a people prone to wander. A people like you & me. His grace is His message (John 11:25). We can TRUST His Word & OBEY it because it was ALL meant to show us what is the BEST of life. A life lived with trusting love for our All-Knowing, All-Wise, LOVING God.

AND, He doesn’t stop there. He HELPS you with that plan He has just for you… your unique story, written by God. He offers His GRACE. He offers His wisdom & strength & hope & peace & love & joy & guidance & He makes a way. He is MASTER of the IMPOSSIBLE. He turns ashes to beauty (Isaiah 61:3) & He works ALL THINGS together for the GOOD of those who love Him & are trusting His way (Romans 8:28). Our Author, Sustainer, Helping God.

The Grand Splendor Awaits!

And when you die, if you have but accepted God’s fully paid for grace, through Jesus’ sacrifice on your behalf, you are welcomed with OPEN ARMS into a place called Heaven, where there is no more death, no more tears, & no more sadness or grief (Revelation 21:4). A place full of wonder & awe, praising this all-powerful God who loves us so incredibly much. Our King of kings, Lord of lords GOD.

And that is why you can accept His love for you & trust that He’s got you. Because it’s not based at all on whether you are good enough, but that HE IS.

Far Beyond Understanding, But Fulfilling Beyond Words

He LOVES you beyond anything we can ever understanding & so far outside anything another person could try to mimic. He sees you completely, past & present, hidden & revealed, pride & shame, EVERYTHING… & He says, “I love you. Come to me.”

How much FREEDOM this gives us! Hallelujah!

I don’t have to be what I think others want of me… I just have to be who God MADE me to be… & if I don’t know what that is because my whole perception of myself is built up around what others have expected or told me… trauma & fears… & all my mistakes… I (& you) can go to Him & ASK HIM.

Asking God How HE Made Me

“God, I don’t know how you made me, to be honest. This person says I need to be like this & culture says I need to be like that. Friends all do this & society seems to believe this… I don’t know what’s true about me anymore. I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM. God, please show me. If You MADE me, then ONLY YOU would really know who I am & who I am meant to be. Help me sift through the lies. Help me to see the truth… Your design. Help me know how to trust You. Help me see the me You made me to be. I am tired of always trying to live up to everything. It’s exhausting & confusing & feels so fake. Help me know the truth. Set me free from expectations. Help me have the confidence to stand on who YOU say I am & not need anyone or anything else to define me or give me my worth. Help me, please, Father, Creator, Loving GOD. Help me. I love you. AMEN.”

I prayed that more times than I can count growing up. I got so tired of the game to fit in. I didn’t know who I was. I was lost & tired of holding up the façade I thought others expected from me.

I URGE YOU… pray similarly. If you have resonated with a single thing I’ve said today… pray that prayer.

His Word & Design Trump ALL ELSE

Let HIM shape you. Let HIS design define you. Let HIS love for you, a love that could never be used up or exhausted, let it FILL YOU.

You don’t need to impress me because the God who made you is so overwhelmed with love for you that He made you, knowing you’d leave Him, set a plan in place to redeem you, & has a story written singularly just for you, WITH HIS HELP as you lean into Him, all wrapped in His love, strength, hope, joy, grace, wisdom, understanding, & power.

He’s got you, babe. Oh, how He’s got you!

Stand in Confidence!

Let Him love you & then shine His grace to this hurting, bleeding world. It’s THE most valuable use of life to shout the praises of the One who made the world, saved the world, & loves it in His infinite grace, welcoming us all to come & accept His beautiful design & to dismiss the rest of that mess in which we tend to cling to so tightly.

He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bombolulu Earrings from Kenya

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Let’s Talk About November

I’ve had a rough month.

It started November 1, before the sun rose, driving to the airport way earlier than I am comfortable waking & then saying goodbye to my Mom & brother-in-law who so graciously drove us to the airport so incredibly early.

My hubs & I had just spent about a month with our families in the States, cautious & careful to social distance, wear masks, & not go out to socialize/shop as much as we’re used to, all in the name of healthy precaution.

Arriving Back in Japan

After a grueling, sleepless 24-hour journey from my parents’ home back to Japan, we had to go through COVID screening at immigration in Japan. We were herded like cattle through different COVID immigration checkpoints & then asked to go stand in a booth similar to that of a voting booth & spit a specific amount of saliva into a test tube type thing.

Then came a sit-down with immigration to cover where we had been & where we planned to go within Japan (with details about how we planned to get there, aka NOT public transportation.) Jamie handled most of that, with me answering questions as I was asked.

Restlessly Settling In

We received emails that our tests were negative, meaning we were cleared to take the shuttle to the military base there in Tokyo, where we would be taken directly to our quarantine room. It was much like a hotel room, except as a small apartment, with a tv, basic amenities, & a kitchen.

We spent Monday night through Wednesday morning in our Tokyo base quarantine room, ordering takeout online for every meal, as we had little else to choose from, trying to pass the time away as sanely as possible with our growing “cabin fever.”

Finally Heading Home

Then came the Wednesday morning bus from Tokyo to Misawa. We had to order food beforehand because for this 10+ hour bus ride, we were not permitted to exit the bus for any reason. There was a surprisingly large bathroom on the bus (think ferry boat bathroom versus the tiny airplane bathroom we were expecting). The bus was crammed full of people coming from who knows where outside of Japan. Our hopes for avoiding COVID were teetering.

Once we arrived in Misawa, we were divided & directed to smaller vehicles, depending on where we all lived, ours being the off-base van.

When we got home on Wednesday night, we knew the drill… no leaving our house or coming into contact with any other person, for any reason, for the rest of our 14-day quarantine upon arriving in Japan.

The Symptoms Began

Thursday, a mild sore throat began.

Friday, my symptoms multiplied. I had a mild fever of 100.3 & had chills, a headache, fatigue, aches, minor nausea, diarrhea (sorry, for too much information? (tmi)), & a mild dry cough.

I tried to convince myself that it was just my body adjusting from all the travel as well as the sudden drop in temperature upon stepping off the bus in Misawa after sun fall.

But somewhere deep down, something didn’t feel right.

Monitor & Wait…

Don’t worry, we responsibly called the COVID response line & reported it. But because my symptoms were pretty mild & my fever was low & short-lived, coupled with the fact that I was in quarantine already & would be tested in less than a week anyway, I was told to monitor my condition until my test & to report in again if it worsened to any of the more serious symptoms.

Fortunately, it didn’t get more serious & I got better, with only a lingering minor headache, fatigue, & mild diarrhea (sorry, again) remaining. I was hopeful.

But then, I completely lost my sense of smell, a telltale symptom of COVID-19… & I mean COMPLETELY. I tested it with essential oils &… NOTHING.

Getting the Test… Getting the Results… I’m Positive

On day 10 of quarantine, we drove on base to get tested, instructed never to open our windows or get out of our car for any reason, except the slight lowering of the window for the test specifically.

We were hopeful. Just a few short days until life, as normal, resumes!

Day 11 of quarantine, we got the call. I had COVID.

The Rush of Instructions & Contact-Tracing Calls Began

We were instructed that I should pack a bag & be ready to leave my house in the next few hours to be taken into isolation. We later found out that Jamie was also required to do the same, separate from me, as well as everyone who was on that bus into Misawa.

Because they didn’t want any human in our home before it could be thoroughly decontaminated, the positive was them allowing me to bring my kitty as a companion during this isolation.

I was scared. I was nervous. I didn’t want to go. I had no idea what lay ahead of me in terms of isolation & I didn’t want to do it alone. I wanted my husband, Jamie, to come with me & help me know how to navigate the unknown.

In my preparations to move into isolation, I would intermittently stop prepping & cry into a pillow, wishing it was all just a bad dream. This information I had received also meant I would be spending my birthday alone, in an isolation room away from home. I was so grieved by it all. I wanted to stay home.

The Isolation Began

Moving into my new, temporary, empty apartment, things only got worse… No kitchen supplies, no TV, a rock-hard mattress, & carpets covered with all kinds of stains (one of which appeared to be old dog urine that never got cleaned up & was crusted into the carpet).

I felt despair wash over me upon seeing my new “home” & I cried as Jamie stepped out of my room after helping me bring in my bags.

The isolation began.

The Sleepless First Night Alone

That night, alone & cold & on the hardest mattress I have ever “slept” on (& I typically prefer firmer mattresses!), I felt so sad & if it weren’t for the gross carpets, would have dropped to my knees & let the sadness envelope me.

I didn’t sleep that first night, after a night of tossing & turning, where the hard mattress left me sorer with every passing hour.

In Comes the Cavalry!

To my delight, a friendly acquaintance (AKA Absolute HERO) offered me a spare mattress topper the next day & church friends were quick to bring food, paper products, plasticware, soap, pots, pans, water, etc., coming to the quick rescue with so much generous support & encouragement. (Someone even brought me a tv to use!)

I felt overwhelmed by all the love pouring in from unexpected places!

Living in Isolation

Over the next several days, with no symptoms, I was visited twice daily for vitals checks by various nurses.

I spent the days doing puzzles, playing Minecraft, reading, talking to Jamie on video chat, & being soothed by a cute cat snuggled alongside me.

Since it was my birthday week, I made one of my favorite meals, called Creamy Cheesy Chicken (think creamed parmesan cheese, garlic, & cream cheese over chicken & broccoli, with rice—YUM) to help cheer me up.

The Gift of Friendship

My friends were so generous with gifts & words of kindness flooded in from unexpected people who just wanted me to know I had their support if I needed it.

I will tell you, you don’t realize how blessed you are until you are in great need & HAVE to ask for help. They were all so generous with their time & efforts, even treating us to meals occasionally or bringing me cheerful birthday gifts of things to help me pass the time like puzzles, books, bath stuff, nail stuff, coloring supplies, etc. I was blown away by their kind generosity.

Anticipating My “Guaranteed” Release!

With COVID-19, apparently you are only contagious 10 days after symptoms begin & the COVID team/Misawa base decided to play it safe & have me stay an added few days. I would be free soon enough.

November 18 was my birthday & while I dreaded the idea of a lonely birthday locked away in my tower, I asked God to help me enjoy it & that’s exactly what He did. I had my favorite foods, spent a lot of time video-chatting my family & Jamie, played with some of the stuff generously brought by friends, & even was brought candles & a lighter for my brownies, with sparkling cider. It was a pretty okay day.

The next day was packing day. I would be released the next day. It was a lot of work, but I got everything washed & cleaned up & loaded in my bags & all my bags were ready & waiting for my authorization guaranteed to come the next day.

Except it didn’t.

The Deliberation

Bright & early I received a call from the COVID response team telling me my release was being debated. Even though I had had absolutely no symptoms for about a week & because it had been 2 weeks since the start of my symptoms, I was no longer contagious… they weren’t sure about releasing me because they never took my temperature or saw my symptoms for themselves (AKA they had no proof) & because I was not asked to be tested when the symptoms began, they weren’t sure they could count my word.

I sat & waited anxiously all day for the deliberation to come to a conclusion. Bags by the door, I was ready to go.

Finally, that evening of the 20^th, I got the call from an authority in public health.

My release was declined. I would be locked in for another week.

As the Despair Settled Over Me…

I went through the motions of trying to be polite & express my understanding of their answer while my head swirled in bewilderment. I had been guaranteed I was okay to leave today… & yet, I wasn’t. I didn’t understand how a “guaranteed release” could turn into another WEEK here…!

When I finally was able to hang up, I let my hand & phone drop to my lap as I stared at the wall in front of me.

And then I just cried.

Together Again

I knew my husband would be slightly excited because that meant we could finally be reunited. He had tested positive several days after our arrival in isolation & would have to stay even longer, but now that I could not leave, their rule of us staying separate was no longer a requirement. (Before I got word of my weeklong extension, when Jamie tested positive, COVID authority said that even though we were BOTH positive, we could not isolate together because I would have to stay the additional 1.5 weeks with him if I did? We never understood why.)

But even though I was glad to see my husband again, I was supposed to be going home & now I was just moving across the hall for my FOURTH week of quarantine.

Defeated

The first day was spent in a daze. DEFEATED was the word that described how I felt. I didn’t want to hope for anything anymore because I couldn’t handle any more disappointment.

We spent Thanksgiving in our little apartment, with our cat, celebrating with a mounded plate of delicious food, thanks to those same wonderful church friends who had been taking such good care of us through all of this isolation & frustration.

1.5 Weeks Later…

It was a rough month, but today, right now, I am writing to you from my couch in my living room in my house… & I am thinking THANK YOU, GOD.

But maybe not for the reason you may be thinking right now.

Not just Thank You, God for being HOME FINALLY, (but that is definitely part of it—I almost was beginning to think they meant never to let us leave), but also because of all the many blessings He has brought me during this rough month of November.

ALL HE HAS PROVIDED!

He provided someone willing to rush over a mattress topper to give me comfortable sleep.

He provided friends who rushed to fulfill our every need when we couldn’t take care of it ourselves.

He gave me a birthday filled with love from friends & even unexpected people.

He provided generous friends who brought us a bountiful Thanksgiving meal & even a centerpiece to liven up the place.

He provided us a 9^th floor view of amazing sunsets over Misawa.

He provided approval to have my cat as my companion, where he normally sleeps in his own space, he spent every night cuddled against my legs on the bed & every day snuggled next to me on the couch.

He provided video calls/technology to help me stay connected when I was all alone.

He provided PEACE when I felt peace was ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE.

God PROVIDES.

Memories Better Than Expected

Was it fun? Nope. Would I repeat it? No.

But I will leave it behind me with much fonder memories than I ever expected I could. Memories of kindness, generosity, unexpected love, & a peace that made absolutely no sense in the midst of some very tough days.

And on those days when I was so upset & anxious & frustrated & alone & tired & aching & sleepless, when I cried out to God… He showed up EVERY time by filling me with HIS PEACE, letting me know He’s got me & He’s got everything under control.

Take Those Cries to God

My call to you is this: Maybe you didn’t miss out on the entire month of November, get COVID, or get isolated from even your husband, or maybe your month has been EVEN WORSE… but whatever the case, take those cries to God.

Because, when things seem impossible… things such as peace & HOPE… God is master of the impossible. He is King of kings, Lord of lords, Creator, Redeemer, Beginning, & the End, All-Knowing, All-Present, All-Understanding, All-Wise, Sovereign, LOVING GOD.

CRY. OUT. TO. HIM.

He is worth it every freakin’ time!

Shine HOPE by turning to Him when all seems hopeless & lost, letting Him be the hope that fills your heart when you feel you have none.

He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Now… it’s time for me to go sigh a HUGE sigh of relief, because you know what? I’m HOME! Praise God!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Radiant Necklace Set

On-trend set of 3 layered necklaces (only ONE shown) that can be worn together or separately, featuring a labradorite stone, hammered discs, & a *blue topaz crystal drop*.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. Every purchase provides women with income, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members. Many of these artisans have been exploited by sweatshops in the past but are now receiving fair wages as artisans in safe & caring fair-trade workshops.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Undeserved

Have you ever stopped to consider just how little we deserve grace?

I know it’s hard for me to consider this fact because it is so easy to only consider my intentions & to always try to look at myself in a more positive light.

Pretty Good on the Outside, But…

When I was young, I got pretty good at keeping up appearances & trying to be the golden child who knew all the right answers. I still thrive on praise & once I figured that out, it became my goal to have people like me.

I thought being “good” was enough.

And even now, as an adult, I find it easy to consider the few accolades I receive & just bury the negative aspects of myself, pretending they don’t exist.

God Sees & God Knows

But those negative things about me do exist. And God sees every selfish decision, every refusal to run to Him for help, thus doing it my way, the wrong way. God sees it all. Every secret & every blemish that I try so hard to act as if it doesn’t exist.

Until I Face Hardship… Then It REALLY Shows

But when I am faced with something difficult, frustrating, &/or painful, those negative sides of me seem to shine beyond anything I can hide from myself.

Satan used to convince me that those less-than-appealing moments meant that I wasn’t really saved by God’s grace… that I obviously didn’t prove myself good enough.

But over the years of struggling through those fears & accusations, God has encouraged me with one very beautiful fact… Thank God, God’s grace is for everyone. And it’s NOT based on ME.

I Am NOT Good Enough… & Yet…

Me, even me, in all of my mess, a girl who could never earn the grace God offers, is offered it all the same.

You see, there is actually NOTHING I can do to earn it. Even in all of my good intentions, focusing hard on the accolades I receive & focusing just as hard on ignoring or justifying the not-so-pretty parts… I cannot even begin to earn it. And neither can you.

And that, Beautiful, is the most magnificently, spectacularly amazing fact that we can cling to in our darkest moments. We CAN’T earn it!

In the Beginning… God KNEW

Going back to before time began, God planned & designed humanity, the world, & all that is in it. And in that plan, before creation began, He KNEW we would betray Him, rebel, & have those negative aspects hidden from the world. He KNEW.

And yet, instead of saying, “You know what—they’re not worth it,” INSTEAD, He said, “So God created mankind in His own image. In the image of God, He created them; male & female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27) & “For God SO LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting LIFE.” (John 3:16)

He had a plan. A plan for our rescue. A plan for our redemption.

A plan of GRACE.

He Knew… He Planned… HE Rescued

“But God proves His love for us in that WHILE we were still sinners, Christ died FOR us.” (Romans 5:8) (Emphasis mine.)

He knew I would be this way, with my stubborn, selfish attitude, bent on gaining praise & maintaining comfort. He knew where my personal struggles would be.

And YET, He sent Jesus for me. And for YOU.

When I Tested Positive

I know, for me, it’s easy to forget all of this stuff about God’s grace. It’s easy to take for granted this beautiful gift.

And then, when I return from a trip, destined for 2 weeks of required home quarantine before getting covid-19 tested on day 10, only to then test positive & immediately get forced out of my home, away from my husband, into an isolation tower for an extra week… only to arrive at the end of my quarantine, waiting for the call that I am authorized for the release, all packed & ready to head home finally… to be told they made a mistake & decided to keep me ANOTHER EXTRA week in isolation (this time allowing me to actually be with my husband, just unable to ever leave our isolation apartment)…. After ALL of that, I spent my first day of our FOURTH isolation week in a complete feeling of just plain DEFEAT.

I cried before even calling my husband with the news, knowing we would be excited to finally see each other again, but also knowing I was meant to be on my way HOME & able to cook & take care of the both of us without relying on the generous kindness of our friends. (THANK YOU, FRIENDS!!!!)

Defeated

And I did NOT feel gracious. I felt bitter.

I felt defeated.

I stayed in bed most of that first day of my fourth week, having just moved, NOT home, but next door to where my husband was isolated (he tested positive a week after I did), in shock that my “guaranteed” release was really not so guaranteed after all. I felt too defeated to try to pass time pleasantly.

I just wanted to sleep the next week away, sedated, numb, & unaware that I was still STUCK there.

I Knew God Could Help Me… But I Didn’t WANT It

And in those moments of wretched bitterness & just numb lack of care about anything… I knew I could turn to God. I KNEW He could help me.

But I didn’t WANT it. I WANTED to feel bitter & angry, as if this whole mess of a process DESERVED my bitterness.

I wanted to write angry letters & be rude & give them a piece of my mind for tossing about my hope & kicking it to the curb. I was MAD. And TIRED of the whole mess.

My Weaknesses Awaken My Awareness of God’s GRACE

And I knew in my heart that I was behaving with a terrible attitude & refusing God, turning my back on Him in my anger.

And eventually, my heart began to ache in recognizing my own stubborn selfishness. My heart began to recall the lavished grace of God in contrast to me spitting my stubborn anger back at Him.

And God’s GRACE began to trickle into my heart like a shining beacon of HOPE. That even when I deserve it LEAST. Even when I am stubborn & rude. EVEN when I INSIST on a nasty attitude toward someone… And even though God sees it ALL…. There is His grace.

Not I, But CHRIST

He didn’t ask me to prove myself. He didn’t ask me to be perfect first. He didn’t ask me to show a good enough track record. He didn’t even give me a single chance at any of that… because HE HAD ALREADY PAID FOR IT IN FULL.

He didn’t shame me for my shameful behavior, He just whispered His grace into my restless, frustrated heart, reminding my hurting heart of His great love for me in the midst of my aching, pained frustration.

That’s how much He loves me. And YOU.

God Loves Us, Even At Our Worst… & Even Our Worst Enemy

And that’s why He asks us to extend grace, UNDESERVED GRACE, to others, too. Because He wants us to remember that THAT is how much He loves every single human being on earth today, eternity past, & eternity future.

But not only does He GIVE us grace… & not only does He ask us to remember His great love for every person, meaning He wishes US to extend grace to THEM… BUT, He ALSO offers His help to do it.

Guys, this blows my mind.

God’s Love Isn’t Limited by How Much We “Deserve” It

When I am filled with anger & resentment & frustration & I am stubbornly clinging to it, unwilling to relinquish my feelings toward those who wrong or hurt me… I can ASK God to help me give grace.

Because God loves that person, too.

Because God loves me.

God Cares for Us

And sitting in my room, cross-legged on my impossibly hard mattress in my isolation tower for the FOURTH week of isolation from the outside world, hands in my lap, staring blankly at the wall in defeat… I hear that whisper across my heart, “Give them grace, Michelle. And ask Me for help because I will help you do what feels impossible to you right now.”

And after hours of fighting against that whisper, stubbornly wanting to cling to my bitterness… I sigh. I release the wall I was building… And I ask Him to help me get through & to help me be gracious in my frustrating situation.

And He did.

Again… Not I, But Christ

I am by NO means the one you need. I can’t offer you any hope. I am just a person, frail & flawed like you.

But God is higher than me. He is greater than you.

And His love & grace are higher still.

Thank GOD, God’s grace is for EVERYONE.

Even me.

It’s Not About You, But HIM

(“Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain-He washed it white as snow.” Click the link to hear the song & let the beautiful truth of its words wash over you.)

It’s not about the bad or wrong you’ve done… the past you regret or hide… or about any of the negatives you try to justify or cover up in yourself.

It’s not about good you’ve done… the accolades & praise you get… or about anything you try to shine relentlessly to prove yourself.

Jesus Paid It All… All to Him I Owe

It’s about a Man, God in flesh, whose plan ALL ALONG was to provide our rescue & redemption. A free gift bought with His life… that He offered willingly to save you.

It’s about a Man named JESUS CHRIST & how He resurrected after death, claiming victory over both our SIN & the despair of death.

It’s about Jesus offering His nail-pierced hands to us & saying, “For God so loved the world [that means YOU] SO MUCH that He sent [Me-Jesus Christ], His only begotten Son, to die willingly on your behalf (while you were still a sinner) that if you but BELIEVE on Me, you will not live a life of death, but will live life abundantly & with a promise of abundant life everlasting.” (Paraphrase. See John 3:16, Romans 5:8, John 10:10, & Matthew 16:25)

Thank God, God’s Grace Is for Everyone!

This is a call to remember that God’s grace is for everyone.

God’s grace is for me.

God’s grace is for you.

And God’s grace is even for the person(s) you feel are LEAST deserving… Because God loves them, too.

God’s Got Me

Humble yourself before His GREAT love for you. Extend that same great love to others. And ask for God’s help in living for Him, His way, trusting Him EVERY step of the way—even if you get stuck in isolation with Covid for FOUR weeks, to include your birthday & Thanksgiving.

God has a plan. Even in that. And I will yet praise Him because I know He’s got me.

And I will take that deep sigh… & ask God to help me release the bitterness & embrace GRACE.

Shine hope by receiving God’s grace & extending it to others (with God’s help, of course), darling. It’s totally worth it.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Mirage Earrings

With just a touch of glimmer these earrings are fun and easy to wear.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to being sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. Through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for artisans & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Big Feelings

Have you ever been made to feel like your emotions were a bad thing?

Have you ever felt the need to mask how you were feeling for fear of either burdening someone else, making them uncomfortable, or appearing weak & vulnerable & “lame”?

I have.

I am a girl who feels big. I laugh hard just as much as I cry hard.

The doctor called it a minor mood imbalance. I called it annoying.

Feeling Like Nobody Gets Me

You see, not everyone knows what to do with big emotions. Sometimes you notice them widen their eyes as if to say, “Woooow, okay then,” & other times you see them shifting in their seat, as if they are checking for the closest nearby exit.

And still other times, you will maybe have someone tell you to your face that your emotions stress them out or annoy them. (If this is you, as I have definitely wrestled this, when faced with a person whose emotions stress you out, take a moment to pray & ask God to help you know how to face their emotions in a way that is both loving to that person & also honoring to how God would wish you to respond to that person. God will help you as you lean into Him for help.)

Of course, there are still those people who feel right alongside me & make me feel super comfortable in my skin & if you’re one of those people in my life, I appreciate you so much!

Dancing the Dance

To be honest, this “feeling big” even created fears of long-term commitment, sure that someday my future husband would lose the rosy glasses & wake up to see just how annoying I can be. It was a real fear for me.

I have constantly lived the dance of either masking my highs & lows OR trying to overcompensate for them so I don’t lose my appeal in the eyes of others… which PROBABLY explains why I have the potential for great socially awkward moments—you’re welcome.

These big emotions are probably also why I am prone to depression as well as anxiety attacks, where I just shut down & want to avoid the overwhelming fears that threaten to overtake me completely.

God, Help Me Understand

And lately, after years & years of this dance of masking & overcompensating, I am learning to turn to God in this reality that I have so long considered my biggest weakness.

You see, when I feel big HAPPY emotions, I don’t regret it. I LOVE getting to look at the world with childlike wonder & thrill, soaking in the good moments & really getting to appreciate life in such a full, rich way. What a blessing!

BUT, the opposite, facing such big lows, has felt like the bane of my very existence.

Taking My Hurts to God

Recently, on one of my lows, I began praying & begging God to take away the great hurt in my heart that I couldn’t seem to even understand logically why it would be there.

My prayer was something like this:

“God, why? WHY!? Why do I have to feel so terrible sometimes when I shouldn’t even feel this upset? What is wrong with me? YES, I appreciate the highs & getting to just soak up life with joyful tears, swelling with contentment & peaceful happiness, but these lows are terrible! Why do I have to have them? Why did you make me like this? You must have had a reason. Please help me.”

A Gentle Reminder of a Beautiful Blessing

When I finished my plea & outpouring of my heart to God, I felt a gentle reminder wash over my heart that if I had not experienced those lows in my life, I would never have understood my great need for Him at a young age & I would have missed out on the great peace of learning that I have complete HOPE in Him through every situation in life, big or small.

God reminded me gently, in that quiet moment, that it was because of those lows that I have seen my need to draw close to Him & that I have experienced so much growth in my life as a result.

Wow. What a humbling reminder of a beautiful blessing sprouting from the deep & painful lows in my emotions.

Those Lows Drew Me Closer to Jesus

As you can probably guess, it’s hard having lows that seem to knock me off my feet, but WOW, when I think about ALL of the MANY times that those very lows have drawn me close into the arms of Jesus, allowing me to experience more fully His grace, strength, care, love, & gentle peace… I am left in humbled, grateful awe again of our great & loving God.

You see, my emotions aren’t a CURSE. They’re a GIFT.

Thank You, God

They’re His call to my heart that I need to come back to Him so I can more fully experience His great love & care for me.

They’re His sweet reminder that I am but a human, in need of her loving Creator.

They’re His means of growing my heart in assurance, peace, & strength as my heart learns ever more to lean into Him through all waves of life.

They’re a gift.

Emotions Aren’t Evil… They’re Human

Do I still struggle with vulnerability & thus also struggle trying to mask my emotions, making me socially awkward at times? Yes, yes I do.

Do I still wish for comfort & ease sometimes to replace my big emotions? Yes.

Emotions aren’t evil… they’re human.

Expressing Emotions to God & Remembering God in Them

I am reminded again of the Psalms.

My friend commented on Habakkuk & how rich a book it is, like Psalms but so much shorter & she wondered why more people weren’t talking about enjoying it as much as Psalms.

And it hit me. It’s because Psalms has SO MANY chapters of expressing grief, anxiety, loneliness, anger, fear, etc., with all of its BIG emotions, that I relate to it so well & cherish it so much.

And in them all, the author not only expresses the many emotions to God, but also remembers to praise Him, knowing God is above it all & will always have victory in His great love for us.

Learning to Let Others See Me

Now, when I see someone cry in a movie theater, I envy them & their courage to express the feelings they feel rather than feeling the need to keep them hidden inside & faced alone. I want to learn to have this type of courage of trusting others with my own vulnerability.

I am learning that emotions are okay. And they can be a strength as I turn them over to God & allow them to help me always point to my wonderful HOPE in Jesus.

“God, Thank You for Letting Me Be a Woman Who Feels So BIG”

So, as I grow in this acceptance & peace with my emotions, my prayers have shifted.

“God, thank You for letting me feel so big! For letting me see the world through childlike wonder, soaking up life splendidly. But also, thank You for those lows & how well they draw me into Your loving arms. Help me when my emotions threaten me to allow my heart to be real & vulnerable with others. But also, help me to recognize my own frail humanity in them & to remember how awesome & mighty You are in contrast. Help me to praise You in every storm, pointing others to You constantly as my one & only, true, lasting HOPE. Thank You, Lord for Your intelligent design & for ALWAYS having a plan, even when I can’t see it. Thank You for Your patience, gentleness, love & care. I love You. AMEN.”

Facing Big Emotions

Are you anything like me in this–facing big emotions? Have you always struggled with having them? If so, make an effort to turn to God in them & to recognize your own human frailty in contrast to His infinite power & love.

Ask God to help remind you to turn to Him whenever your emotions get “too big” & allow yourself room to feel those emotions as you lean into Him for support & care.

Shine HOPE. He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Peace That Doesn’t Make Sense

A life entrusted to God is full of so many things that don’t make any sense to the logical brain & yet, when tested, are found to be more true than anything we can logically understand.

One of those such things is PEACE.

A verse I have been clinging to lately is about God’s peace, which transcends human understanding.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7) (Emphasis mine.)

Traveling During COVID

You see, I just returned from a 2-month trip stateside to visit family & friends, being careful to social distance every step of the way… But on our return trip, we were placed on a bus full of people that we were required to use in order to re-enter Japan & return home… a bus full of people who had just travelled.

And when I returned home, I noticed that I wasn’t feeling so well.

And, in a world turned upside down by a global pandemic, no one wants to notice themselves “not feeling so well.“

The Progression

I looked up symptoms of this dear covid-19 & realized I had many of them, but not all.

I wasn’t worried. I figured the temperature shock of returning home mixed with dehydration were the culprits. But underneath it all, I knew there could be another explanation for it… one that many around the world feared.

I shared my list of symptoms with my husband & just like that, with no last kiss, no last hug, & no final goodbyes of in-person closure, I was isolated from my best friend… just in case.

Laying on the couch, aches nagging at my body & chills forcing me to shiver despite my layers of warmth, alone & uncertain as to what lay ahead, my husband & I video chatted & decided to take our concerns to God for help.

Asking God for Help

“God, please help us know what to do. Please give us wisdom & peace. Bring healing, please God. … But God, I know it’s so easy to beg You to have everything go back to normal & to help me be comfortable again, but I know that’s not what I really need. I know I need to learn to trust You so that no matter what may come, I will be firm & steady with You as my Rock. That’s what I want, God. Help me trust You like that. Help me to know You’re enough when everything else is falling. And help give us peace. Please give us peace. Amen.”

You see, it was in that moment when we were lifting up our discomfort & budding fears to God that I realized my hope can’t rest in me being okay again… because that will only last until I am not okay next time. I needed something higher than comfort to rest on… SomeONE higher.

Inexplicable Peace

In that moment of shaking with chills, holding a mild fever, aching all over, tossing & turning in my sleep, unable to hold on to warmth… riddled with several other symptoms… I somehow had PEACE.

I felt held.

I felt like come what may, I would be quite okay.

I felt safe & cared for & loved.

I felt PEACE.

And that peace made no sense… it transcended & surpassed my human understanding, because to me, I thought I should be quite worried & concerned & lonely & sad & missing my husband so badly that I could barely stand it in going through all of this alone….

And yet… I felt PEACE.

Finding Comfort in the Uncomfortable

I wasn’t worried about having COVID or not having COVID. I knew that didn’t matter. Either I died & would be happy & whole & dancing in heaven as a result… or God would hold me through the storm.

I wasn’t worried about being alone because I felt held & loved & cared for in a way that didn’t make sense to me.

My good friend asked me what verse I was clinging to & I told her Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus.”

And I told her that when I had moments where I DIDN’T have that peace & the worry or sadness started to creep in & threaten that peace, that it was then I knew that I needed to go back to this verse & say, “God, I need more of Your peace. Help me trust You more than my circumstances or symptoms.”

IN the Uncomfortable… Not Necessarily Overcoming the Uncomfortable

Does this idea of peace in the struggle mean we will never struggle or that all struggle will be taken away when we ask God to do so? Heck no. Just read all the many PSALMS to see David pouring out his angst & sorrow & fears & anger.

There’s a song I heard ages ago that has always stuck with me in hard times, called “Sometimes He Calms the Storm, sung by Scott Krippayne, that touches on the idea that sometimes God calms the storm with a simple whisper of “peace, be still” & that God can settle any storm, but it doesn’t mean He will. But then the lyrics say something so beautiful & true, “Sometimes He calms the storm, & other times He calms His child.”

Emotions Aren’t Evil… They’re Human

Emotions aren’t evil… they’re human. Emotions are just how we process the world around us.

But just like David, we need to remember to take those fears, worries, stresses, anger, loneliness, etc. & ask God to help us through them. Ask for His peace & His victory.

We can always look to God for peace when peace seems impossible.

Not Out of the Woods

Although most of my symptoms have subsided, I realized today that I can’t smell 90% of what I tried to smell in our kitchen, including a ripe onion… & the worry flickered itself again in my heart.

And as I cried softly into my husband’s pillow, letting the worry take bite, I silently asked God to give me courage when I had none & to steady me as I faced uncertainty & to grant me His peace that surpasses my understanding.

My Hope Is in HIM

But then I remembered this post I was in the middle of writing & that with every new worry, every new fear, every new symptom… Even IN the storm… I can ask for God’s peace to carry me through it.

Is it always my first instinct to ask God for help? No. But it is always worth it when I remember to humble myself before my great & loving Almighty God & ask for Him to cover me with His strength in my weakness… to BE my strength when I have none.

Because when I entrust my life to God, there are many things about trusting His way that don’t make any sense to me, like how I can face such uncertainty & discomfort & worry & no cure… & realize that I can find peace… a finding of comfort in the midst of the uncomfortable.

A Peace That Transcends & Surpasses Our Human Understanding, Logic, & Reasoning

That is the beauty of entrusting your life to God… not that everything will turn out just the way you want (because it won’t) & not because nothing will go wrong (because we live in a fallen world & it will), but because when things don’t go your way & when things do go wrong, God is ENOUGH & He is in control & HE ALONE sits on the throne as Eternal, Almighty, Loving, All-Capable, All-Knowing, Infinite, Creator, One-Who-Has-the-Final-Say GOD.

His peace goes beyond ALL of our understanding… beyond all of our logic & reasoning… God’s peace remains.

A Peace That REMAINS

Don’t chase fleeting comforts.

Find sturdy comfort in the uncomfortable.

Find peace that surpasses your understanding… Because you don’t have to understand HOW you can possibly have peace to actually have peace.

You just have to know Who your peace comes from.

Shine HOPE by looking to God for your peace in all circumstances.

He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternal Pearl Set

Delicate freshwater pearls make each of these classic pieces perfect for every occasion.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, adult literacy programs, & self-help groups! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Enjoying God Flows into Obedience

This topic about obedience flows nicely from our short 3-part series about “Enjoying God” that we just finished up… so let’s talk about why obedience is not a bad word.

Once you begin to see God’s loving, forgiving, & patient nature, you also begin to see how EVERY rule & command that God gives us is actually meant for our BENEFIT… & I mean EVERY one of them.

God Knows Everything… Literally

The reason we are called to obey God & are commanded so fiercely & repetitively to do so, is because God is our Sovereign, Eternal, & Almighty Creator God Who also happens to know literally EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING… & He happens to love us more than comprehension.

But It’s So Hard…!

The reason it is SO HARD to obey God is because since the eating from the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good & evil back in the Garden of Eden, we all (to some degree) THINK we might possibly know better than Him, especially when what He tells us is the exact opposite of what we WANT to do. And, to top it off, OTHER PEOPLE are constantly making wrong choices due to this fact, making us think it’s up to us to regain the balance & fix things… As if God needs our help?

AND, as if obedience wasn’t hard enough because of our own perception & desires, God warns us that Satan is constantly on the prowl to whisper little doubts about God that convince us to follow our own whims & ways instead of God’s. We make the choice, but Satan is always looking for ways to give us that extra nudge to convince us toward our way & away from our hope found only in God.

Obedience Builds Trust

But, let’s circle it back to where this discussion began… Enjoying God.

Every little instruction, command, or rule that God gives is not only for our benefit, but is also designed & declared by our loving, all-knowing, sovereign, almighty, eternal GOD. Basically, He’s WORTH TRUSTING way more than the so-called “benefits” of trusting ourselves.

And that is a huge reason why obedience is not a bad word.

His Words Aren’t His “Version” of Truth… His Words DEFINE TRUTH

Another thing to consider is that His commands are not His opinions & are less like power hungry commands & more like the Law of Gravity. It just IS. His laws just ARE.

It’s not a debatable, maybe-I-know-better type law from a fallible leader, but coming from an All-Knowing, Eternal, Almighty, Sovereign, Creator God.

His laws & commands aren’t just rules… they are indicative of what just IS.

And that’s why it’s best to obey & to trust & to live those laws of His, because when we do, life somehow, against all our human judgement & intelligence & understanding, His laws ALWAYS just seems to work out infinitely better than our ways.

Because His Words just ARE.

They aren’t just His determination of truth… His Words DEFINE TRUTH.

We Need His Help & He Gives It

So, what do we do when we REALLY want to do our way? When we think that THIS TIME we REALLY think that we’re right instead of God? When Satan’s whispers are SO TEMPTING that we want to go right through with what WE WANT?

Tell God all about it. Slump “at His feet” if you need to. Tell Him your inward battles. Tell Him how much you don’t want to trust Him. Tell Him how you really REALLY just want to do it your way. Tell Him you need His help to trust Him more than you trust yourself. And ask for His help!

Those are all things I have learned that I need to tell God… even if reluctantly at first. Usually it starts with a deep sigh, fighting every ounce of me that want to do it my way & I just start by being honest with God.

Getting Real with God

Usually, my prayers around obedience sound something like this:

“God, *SIGH*. I REALLY REALLY REEEAAAALLLLY think that I would rather do this than that. I don’t think You’re right & I am sorry for that, but I just really want this way. HELP ME. Help me trust You because right now I really don’t want to. Please. I want my way in this because Your way seems way too hard & I just feel anxious & I just want my way because it feels easier right now. Help me, please! I know deep down that You MUST know better than me because You are God & I am not, but I want my way, so please help me to trust You & do it Your way instead. Help me come off my own pedestal in all my limitations to put You back up there where You belong. Please help me because it seems impossible to do it Your way right now. Please help me trust You more with all Your great love for me & help me accomplish Your way… Give me what I need: the courage & strength & confidence, to do what You say I should do. Thank You for always listening to my cries in all my weak moments & for helping me every step as I lean into You. Amen.”

It’s Okay to Struggle with It… But Take That Struggle to God for HELP

It’s okay to have a hard time trusting God & it’s okay to admit that to Him & to ask for His help to trust Him when it’s hard.

But let me reassure you that obedience, when it comes to God’s commands & rules, is NEVER a bad word, as they are ALWAYS designed & declared & commanded of us for OUR BENEFIT.

Lord, Help us to trust You & obey You & to ask for Your help in the many times where that just seems impossible. Thank You for Your faithful help & care for us!! AMEN!

Shine HOPE by trusting God & OBEYING HIM. He’s GOT YOU, babe.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternal Pearl Set

Delicate freshwater pearls make each of these classic pieces perfect for every occasion.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, adult literacy programs, & self-help groups! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Enjoying God

Enjoying God has been pretty hard for me in the past, thinking of God mainly as a rule-giving dictator, BUT over the last year, in praying & asking God to help me know & love Him more, God has been illuminating this idea of “Enjoying God” in my heart, making the richness of all He has done for & continues to do for me (& you) every day become more obvious & clear in the day-to-day of my life.

Way Beyond the Practical

A few weeks ago, I talked about God’s creation & how He went WAY beyond the practical to make His creation beautiful & diverse in color, taste, texture, smell, size, shape, sound, etc…. Such amazingly inspiring diversity for us to ENJOY!

AND, before humans were even created, He had already formed the land & separated the seas & made the sky with all its stars, moon, & sun. He made the seasons & formed the plants & birds & animals & everything we would need to survive & thrive… He had it ALL done & ready before He made us.

His Plan All Along–To Redeem Us

And as I mentioned last week… God KNOWING, before creating us, that we would choose to distrust Him & thus rebel against Him, He also worked into His design a way for our redemption, through Jesus. Even that was DONE for us.

We were born with a way of healing, forgiveness, & redemption… a way back to Him… already in place, before we could even have the chance to even make our first poor or selfish decision. What GRACE!!

We Were Meant to Leave That Up to God

When we were made, we weren’t made to carry all of the heavy burdens of the world… we were meant to leave that up to God & to enjoy & tend to the work God had already DONE.

When we wronged God, we weren’t meant to struggle under the strain of making ourselves right with God, never quite accomplishing it & always falling short, straining & hurting to save ourselves… we were meant to leave that up to God as well, through Jesus, & to enjoy the richness of His great love & forgiveness & mercy.

We are MADE to ENJOY GOD.

That is how we give Him the most glory… by ENJOYING HIM.

We do this by resting in what He accomplished in HIS power & resting in what HE can do to help us as we lean into Him & obey Him, asking for HIS power.

DONE At Creation… & DONE At the Cross.

And so, we can praise Him & thank Him for all He has made for us to enjoy, from the tiny dandelion to the fluttering butterfly to the vibrant sunset to the crashing waves to the feel of rain on our skin during a hot day to the taste of a delicious favorite meal.

And still, we can praise Him & thank Him that even when we fell & fall short, the work has been completed for us already on the cross. We can come back, running with full assurance that He will forgive & extend to us all the richness of His confounding grace & mercy & LOVE.

When we have nothing, but we have Him… we have EVERYTHING.

He Fills Everything We Lack As We Learn to Lean into Him in All Things in Life

Not easy, but better… Fulfillment, peace, reconciliation, wisdom, grace, forgiveness, understanding, patience, mercy, open-armed love. We have HIM through all the hard.

And I would rather have hard times with Him than good times with ANYTHING else, because nothing else can offer me those things the way that He so completely & fully CAN.

Other things we lean on for hope may seem to promise a lot, but they never seem to be enough… Where, with God, it’s quite the opposite… He may not seem like He could ever be enough, but He delivers A LOT more than we can ever hope or even imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)

That’s something worth living for. HE’S Someone worth living for.

Because His work, His creation, & His redemption… His DONE… allows me to ENJOY Him.

Enjoying God Gives God Glory

I stumbled on these quotes that echo this whole idea of learning to enjoy God as a means to give Him glory… to learn just how rich His love & blessings really are so that we can naturally draw others to find TRUE & lasting HOPE that will change their lives for the better & for all eternity!

“The entire human race was created to glorify God & to enjoy Him forever.” -Oswald Chambers

“In commanding us to glorify Him, God is inviting us to enjoy Him. Fully to enjoy is to glorify.” -C.S. Lewis

“To serve God, to love God, to enjoy God is the sweetest freedom in the world.” -Thomas F. Wilson

I hope these quotes echo a sweet call to your heart to seek to know & love God more, to trust His love & grace & DONE work so well that you naturally learn to ENJOY GOD.

His Words, Not Just Mine

Take a moment to read through these reminders from God’s Word that remind us of all the things we have to truly be thankful for & to rest in Him & to ENJOY GOD. (All emphasis mine.)

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” (Genesis 1:1)

“You [God] will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” (Psalm 16:11)

“This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24)

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, Who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

“But He [Jesus] was pierced for our transgressions,
    He was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on Him,
    & by His wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in Him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    & never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8)

“Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.” (1 Timothy 6:17)

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy & find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

“The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, & the love of God, & the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.” (2 Corinthians 13:14)

To Know & Love Him More

Don’t be content in considering God to be a demanding dictator, but consider Him to be a trustworthy & Almighty God who always knows best & in all He does, considers what is for our best.

Be daring enough that when you seek to OBEY God (in trusting love), that you also seek to KNOW & LOVE Him MORE (Link: “How to Know & Love God More”) & as you learn to enjoy God more, you will crave to seek Him all the more because you begin to discover that not only can you trust Him… He also LOVES you & LAVISHES His richness on you because of that overwhelming love He has for you.

Shine HOPE by enjoying God & by always asking God to help you to know & love Him more (Link: “The Greatest Prayer-To Know & Love God More”) every single day.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Grace Earrings

These earrings feature gold plated metal around local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security,& unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Why Enjoying God Matters

As promised, I wanted to revisit this idea of “Enjoying God.”

Last week, I shared how unusual a concept it always was for me to “enjoy God.” I had always heard other words lumped with God… like, “obey God.”

And while obeying God is very important (& VALUABLE to us), if we neglect the idea of ENJOYING God while instructing others to obey God, we are missing a huge chunk of the WHY we obey God… not that we obey Him to get what we want from Him, but that His commands are always meant to benefit us & that’s why He instructs us in the ways that He does.

Way Beyond the Practical

So, today I want to revisit this concept that we dove into a couple weeks ago, where I shared about the many ways God reveals His love to us in the world around us aka His creation.

God lavishes on us in so many unnecessary ways, ways that go way beyond the practical. For example, He didn’t just create one type of plant, in one shape & color & size for the purpose of providing oxygen to us, but MANY types of plants in MANY shapes & MANY colors & MANY sizes. (& even different scents!) And that’s just the plants!

All we have to do is look up to see the sky in all its many beautiful colors & always-changing designs, to see how God goes above & beyond the practical to reveal His love for us.

God WANTS us to enjoy His many blessings that He has made for us!

He Makes It Personal

But today, I want to talk about something that isn’t just about enjoying God through the beauty & wonder of His creation, but enjoying God on a much deeper level–a personal level.

He knows you… & I mean KNOWS you. He created you & knows every little thing there IS to know about you… even the subconscious things you can’t or won’t admit to yourself whether you are unaware or are hiding from scars. He KNOWS you… And He LOVES you.

He loves you so much that although He knew you would rebel against Him & go your own way (even when we do day-to-day thinking we’re good enough on our own), He planned a way to redemption through His Son Jesus & He made you anyway, even with such a high price to win you back. He LOVES you.

And He WANTS you to ENJOY that great & faithful & gracious & WONDERFUL love that He has for you! So let’s talk about it.

Sit, Walk, Stand… Let’s Sit First

If you finish this blog post & think, “I want MORE of this topic,” please check out the short book, “Sit, Walk, Stand,” by Watchman Nee, which you can find on Amazon (for about $6 at the time of me writing this post.) I found it easy to read & super encouraging/informative. Check it out!

In his book, Nee mentioned that when we turn to Jesus & submit our brokenness to Him & ask Jesus to save us from our sins, accepting His loving & powerful payment on our behalf… when we start submitting our life to Jesus Christ & God’s way, it doesn’t start with a big DO, but with a big DONE.

Were You There? Were You Able? … But, GOD

Were you there when God created everything? Nope. (God took care of it all for us. Ask Job, who was asked this by God in Job, chapter 38)

Were you able to save yourself & make yourself right before God? Nope. (But Jesus offered His life for US! Read Romans 5, focusing on verse 8, for some WONDERFUL encouragement!)

Is your life of following God up to your own strength, efforts, goodness, wisdom, power, etc.? Nope. (You don’t become God when you accept Jesus’ gift of reconciliation with God… you’re still just human, BUT you have FULL access to God & all of His resources to help you as you lean on Him for HELP. Read 2 Peter 1, focusing on verse 3.)

Our life as a Christian, abiding in Jesus, doesn’t start with a big DO, but with a big DONE.

Even God’s COMMANDS Are For Our GOOD

Does this mean we have zero responsibility? Nope. But it DOES mean that God helps us with HIS power through EVERY responsibility we have AND every responsibility we have is ALSO FOR OUR GOOD.

God doesn’t arbitrarily give us instructions & commands to assert power & authority over us or to have us PROVE our faith… NO. He gives these instructions & commands because He knows it will benefit us &/or protect us from so many lasting & unnecessary hurts, most of which we don’t even realize we’re succumbing to on this earth because it quite honestly just seems like the norm.

Let Him Handle the Rest

It’s not up to you to SAVE the world. You can’t.

It’s not up to you to CONVINCE the world of the Truth. You can’t.

It’s not up to you to do ALL the things. You can’t.

It IS up to you to walk on the path that God illuminates for you as you learn to trust & love Him more, letting Him take the lead, letting Him provide you with what you need to accomplish the tasks He sets before you, AND letting Him handle the rest.

That’s where the SIT part comes in as the starting point in Watchman Nee’s book that I mentioned above… You SIT in a KNOWING that it’s not up to you, but Him. That He starts you out with a giant DONE, versus a giant DO.

Let Me Set the Record Straight

If you browse my website or read my blog posts or watch my Facebook LIVEs or enjoy my weekly emails & think to yourself, “well, of course SHE does this stuff because SHE seems to have bigger faith than me… or more wisdom… or more self-discipline… or less of a past… or less trauma… or whatever it is.… Let me set the record straight for you RIGHT NOW.

I AM JUST A PERSON. I am weak. I am generally lazy & a procrastinator. I worry WAY TOO MUCH. I stress out. I try to self-solve, self-soothe, & self-shield until every effort of mine has failed BEFORE I weakly cry out to God for help. I tend to pray for comfort versus courage. I trust myself more than I trust the God who made me. I want to quit whenever I get a single criticism. I am insecure. I struggle with image issues. I have trauma I wrestle with sometimes. I AM JUST A PERSON.

ENJOY GOD

God wants us to SIT in KNOWING that our success or effectiveness or courage DO NOT come from US, but as a RESULT of trusting HIM. He wants us to find rest & peace & JOY in trusting that He’s got it covered & that if we JUST show up with a willing heart to honor Him, He will take care of the rest as we lean into Him for it!

Trust God! He’s Got You!

I literally whine, mope, beg to avoid, want easy, crave comfort, feel stubborn & obstinate, but then I beg God, “God, You are so much bigger than all my reasons not to. And although I am just a weak human, You are NOT. So, help me. Be what I need to fill in my gaps. Help me be faithful when I want to quit. Help me allow my vulnerabilities & insecurities & failures & weaknesses be opportunities to show others that even in the many ways that I CAN’T, YOU CAN. Help me to show up. Help me to trust You enough to SHOW UP. And work through me. Use my life to bring others to the hope we can only find in You. Help me in my own weakness to be a vessel for Your grace. Thank You that You are ALWAYS, 100% ENOUGH. And help me. Please. Amen.”

Unwilling, But Willing to Ask God to Change My Opinion

And sometimes, guess what… my prayers sound more like this, “God, I don’t want to. Please don’t make me do this. I am too SHY! I am too worried I won’t be able to do this! I don’t want to set myself up for criticism! I just want to be invisible. Please let me be invisible…………….. SIGH. But… God… I do know that MAYBE You can help me & that MAYBE You know better than me & know what’s best for me & can handle all my mess. So……. Can You help me be willing to trust You? I don’t know if I can in this. I want to run from it, not stand in faith. I don’t have enough faith. So…… maybe if You help me? Please help me be willing to trust You & ask for Your help versus running & hiding. Help me trust You… PLEASE. Amen.”

Because it’s not about how big your faith is, but how big your GOD IS.

Take your weaknesses, insecurities, vulnerabilities, AND UNWILLINGNESS to Him & ask for His help through it.

Enjoying God, Part 2

You see, God didn’t stop at helping us enjoy Him with the BEAUTY & WONDER of nature & His creation…. He cares about that heart of yours on a MUCH deeper level, Beautiful.

He created you. He knit you together. He planned for Jesus to rescue you before you even had a chance to wrong Him. He knows your every thought & He loves you more than anyone EVER could.

And He starts your journey of following after & abiding in Him with a giant DONE.

Learn to ENJOY God & All That He Willingly Offers to You If You But ASK

Our “job” is to learn to enjoy Him… To sit in wonder of His great love… To praise Him for His beautiful creation… To give Him GLORY & point to Him in ALL things because we know He offers that same HOPE of grace to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who is willing to run to Him… & to realize that because He loves us so BIG, we can trust Him in EVERYTHING & turn to Him in, through, & for EVERYTHING…. And because we trust Him & all He has DONE & will do, we obey… with His help.

That is how we can ENJOY Him. That is how we can SIT, as Nee’s book says. And after we SIT there, that is how we can WALK with His help & also STAND in His strength.

ASK HIM. Please, Ask Him.

If you struggle knowing how you could possibly have that kind of rest & peace, start there & ask God to help you see His perspective, because He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or even IMAGINE. (Ephesians 3, focusing on verse 20)

So, ask Him. And enjoy Him. And trust Him.

Shine Hope by enjoying all God has DONE & by enjoying God’s lavished LOVE & GRACE & MERCY on ALL who put their hope & trust in Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Radiant Necklace SET

On-trend set of 3 layered necklaces (Only ONE of 3 shown in photo) that can be worn together or separately, featuring one necklace with a labradorite stone, one with hammered discs, & one with a blue topaz crystal drop.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. Every purchase provides women with income, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members. Many of these artisans have been exploited by sweatshops in the past but are now receiving fair wages as artisans in safe & caring fair-trade workshops.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Let’s Talk about Us

Today, I want to talk about us.

Not literally you reading this & me writing this, but us as a community. We need each other.

As people, we were made to need community… with God… & with each other.

So many of God’s commands revolve around us loving one another, because God first loved us, so should we love one another.

The Church

And that is a big design element when God established The Church… not just as a crowd of people sitting in pews, listening to a pastor preach from God’s Word, the Bible… although that is a very important part of our lives as The Church.

And it’s not a building where we go to sit… WE are The Church.

Not a building, but a family.

Not a biological family, but a family made family by accepting God as our loving, heavenly PERFECT Father, heirs together with Jesus Christ, who gave His life on our behalf, in obedience to God & because of His great love for us… to pay our penalty so we could be reunited as family under God.

WE are the family. WE are The Church.

We Need Each Other

I want to take a moment to express how valuable it is to meet together & praise & worship God together, while also hearing teaching from God’s Word, as we do when we “go to church,” but us as The Church FAMILY does not end beyond those walls.

I will say it again, we were MADE to NEED each other.

We were MADE to NEED GOD.

We were NOT made to be self-sufficient or self-reliant.

Trauma Leads Us to Isolate

I will be the first to admit to you that this concept was not always easy for me. Trauma of having someone you trust betray you can leave you feeling very much like you were MADE to NEED to be self-sufficient… that you can’t rely on someone else… that you can only truly rely on yourself.

But that is trauma… & that is Satan taking your trauma & instead of encouraging you into the loving arms of our great, capable Healer (God), it is Satan instead convincing us to isolate & try endlessly & exhaustively to try to manage on our own… a way that was never meant to be as a part of God’s original design of US.

If You Really Had Faith…

Many of us have grown up in the church (aka GOING to church), hearing how we should be for God “if we truly have faith.” Many of us have grown up seeing displayed for us the “necessity” to be good enough for God because we “have faith” & therefore “should be able to handle it just fine.”

How damaging an ideal that is!

God tells us “faith like a mustard seed can move mountains.” A mustard seed is itty bitty. In other words, it’s not at all about having ENOUGH faith, but rather about WHO your faith is IN that matters.

We Were Not Made to Be Self-Sufficient

But I am getting sidetracked… my point in mentioning that little nugget of truth that I need to constantly remind myself—that it’s not about what YOU can do FOR God, but what GOD can do if you are trusting Him MORE than you trust YOURSELF—is that we were NOT made to be self-sufficient.

We were made to NEED help.

And the toxic, false (non-Biblical) lessons we feed ourselves of our call to be holy meaning specifically that we can NEVER show or reveal imperfection/weakness/vulnerability to one another is SO DAMAGING.

We were MADE to NEED HELP.

… Help from God & from others… that we are to lift up, encourage, edify, build up, sharpen, correct-in-loving-concern-not-in-self-righteous-judgement, & LOVE one another!

No One Is Perfect… Especially Not ME

And get this… because we ALL (literally, ALL) of us make mistakes, are imperfect, are limited, get it wrong sometimes, don’t know everything, & need HELP… we can learn to let our guard down & just be HONEST with others about our own flaws.

Because, listen up to this… we are not supposed to be displaying to the world how WE’VE got it all together… but how GOD holds it all together.

We are to accept our own frail human condition & our great need for our even greater God… showing our weaknesses & trading that for God’s HELP & GRACE with every step.

Come Together in Humility & Grace

And we are meant to come together in that type of humility & grace & love for one another, constantly reminding each other that God is always waiting & able to help… that He cares SO MUCH for us that even when we ignored His perfect, designed ways, as spelled out to us in the Bible & even when we live our way as if we know better than this all-knowing eternal God… EVEN WHEN… His plan all along, from before time, was to rescue us through the willing, loving sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

And that because of Jesus Christ, we can find forgiveness… we can find healing… we can find restoration & GRACE in the arms of our great, awesome, & loving God.

Not That You’re Enough… But That HE IS

Allow yourself the grace to admit your own human frailty & to admit you were MADE TO NEED GOD & each other… & instead of working hard to prove you’re enough… work to prove that HE IS.

Seek community in The Church FAMILY. Seek to build each other up. Be on the lookout for weak spots in others & seek how you can help… whether it be encouraging a single mother with meals… or cleaning your church building… or offering to mow someone’s lawn after surgery… or being a shoulder to cry on in grief….

Or, even in just saying, “Hey, I don’t have all the answers & you don’t have to beat yourself up for not having them either. We weren’t made to be self-sufficient… we were made to need God & each other, so let’s ask God for help. Can we talk to God about it real quick & let Him know how you’re feeling/hurting & ask for His help right now? I know He can help much better than I ever could. And I will ask Him to help me know where I can help you, too.”

Not Just Well-Meaning Words…

That statement of offering to pray about ideas of how you can help one another is not something you say to get out of helping… to sound pious & spiritual… but out of humility & TRUST that God REALLY DOES KNOW how to help best.

And when God nudges your heart to act on their behalf & lend them a hand, be ready to turn your anxieties about lack of time, lack of ability, or lack of resources back to your own prayers of request to Him, “Hey God, I don’t know how to do that thing you’re nudging my heart to help with, though, & it makes me nervous & I want to avoid it even though I feel guilty feeling that way…. Can You help me overcome my apprehensions & give me the courage & wisdom to know how to help them in a way that gives you glory & honor & displays Your great love for them? Please don’t let me give in to fear & allow Satan to pull me away because I don’t know how on my own… because I know You are MORE than capable of helping where I lack… & because I know I was MADE to NEED YOU. So, please… help me.”

Strive Toward Community

We Need Each Other. Strive toward community with others & always SHINE HOPE by pointing out our need for our great & loving need-Provider. And not the “needs” we have already decided or determined we need… & thus judging His level & care based on OUR limited-perspective solutions… but trusting that God sees the WHOLE picture & has 100% PERFECT knowledge & wisdom to handle it way better than you ever could.

Shine hope by acknowledging your need of God, through Christ, with the leading & help of the Holy Spirit & POINTING to Him in ALL things… & striving to come together with others in humility & love & GRACE.

Vulnerability isn’t a weakness. It’s a reality.

But He’s got you, babe.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

My Misunderstandings About God

Now this isn’t a topic I ever thought I would write about.

I grew up believing God to be all about rules. I felt pressured to be perfect… pressured to be more than I felt I could live up to. Following God for me was laced in the guilt & shame of never quite feeling like I measured up to His standards.

I thought you live, trying to do your best to live by all the rules (strained, tired, guilt-ridden, just doing your best to make God happy), & then you die & get to go to Heaven (if you trusted Jesus to save you versus yourself).

And reading verses in the Bible where Jesus is quoted as saying, “I have come to give life & to give it abundantly,” well, I just didn’t understand how that kind of life could be considered “abundant.” (John 10:10) (… Unless I clenched my jaw, forced a smile, & said, “of course it’s abundant life because God said it was!” while trying to force reasons to support that claim.)

God Knows Better

But, as in all things where God says one thing while I believe another, I have learned that instead of taking my personal perspective as TRUTH (which is usually my go-to response), I instead need to ask God for HIS PERSPECTIVE to help me shift how mine differs from His Word (the Bible)—Starting from a place of, “Well, God is GOD & I am just a person, so maybe He might be more right than I am… no matter how right I feel I am.”

So, this has been a journey of learning to submit my perspective of who I believe God to be & instead asking God to show me who He is, while reading His Word so I know it’s the Holy Spirit’s leading, versus Satan’s sometimes subtle lies & tricks.

“For God So Loved the World…”

And what I have been learning has shocked me. Like, it has literally rocked my world & has made me see God through such different lenses than the rule-warlord I once viewed Him as.

I want you to know Him this way, too.

I may end up even doing a short series on this, because seriously, this perspective will make you ENJOY submitting to God’s ways, ENJOY turning to God when you have wronged Him, ENJOY relying on God when your world is falling apart, & ENJOY SPENDING TIME with God when your world seems too crazy to fit a single extra thing into it. It will begin to be something you crave more with each new perspective shift.

I want you to learn to ENJOY GOD this way, as I am slowly growing to understand how much He really does love us.

Who Will We Allow to Influence Our Perspective of God? The World? Satan? Self? Or God Himself?

Admittedly, this is not easy for me—enjoying God—because I am still very much living under my old perspectives, without even realizing I am doing it most times, while gradually recognizing necessary perspective shifts as God shapes my heart to know & love Him more.

Just Practicality… Or Is There More to God’s Design?

First, let me begin by asking you a very simple question. And do yourself a favor & be completely honest with yourself… you have nothing to prove to anyone, I can’t hear your response, & God already knows what you’re thinking better than you let yourself admit… so be honest!

Do you think God created all that He did merely for practical purposes?

God’s Creation is such a beautiful & potent reminder in considering the idea of enjoying God, because we see it everywhere we look (even when you look at yourself in the mirror, beautiful!)

Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow!

Instead of listing my thoughts, I am just going to write out some of my praises to God for you & pray that it be a reminder or realization for you of how much our great God really does love you! Hint: He went WAY beyond practical in His creation!

Lord, thank You for lavishing Your great love on me. You have used a gentle cool breeze to refresh my heart on days I felt despairing & rushed. Thank You for expressing Your gentle care for me that way. Thank You for the way that cool water feels against my skin on a hot day, whether it be rain, a shower, or when swimming. Thank You for how refreshing fresh clean water tastes when I am tired. Thank You for how therapeutic hotter water is on tired muscles. Thank You for sunsets & sunrises & all of the beautiful artwork You create in the sky moment by moment, always shifting & changing, but always so beautiful! Thank You for how soft kitties are & how comforting their soft fur & gentle purrs are. Thank You for the feeling of warmth from sunshine on my skin, feeling as if You’re wrapping me in a nice, cozy hug. Thank You for how many beautiful flowers You have made! I love seeing all the plants You have made, in all of their beautiful diversity. Thank You for using so many colors & textures & sizes & shapes in creation. You are SO creative & even the grass blowing like waves in the wind is so beautiful. Thank You for the breathtaking view of the ocean waves & the comfort that their sounds can bring to my hurried heart. Thank You for the lightning & thunder in reminding me how powerful You really are—it’s such a comforting reminder that I can fall back & rest in Your capable arms. Thank You!!! Thank You for creating me with hair I can style & play with & a face canvas I can color with beautiful colors. Thank You for nails where I can add a personalized pop of fun. Thank You for my beautiful blue eyes with their specks of gray & gold. Thank You for the soft texture of warm sand or grass between my toes & for all of the fresh air smells. God, I could go on for weeks just thinking of all of the beautiful ways where You went above & beyond practicality just to shine Your strength & wisdom & power & LOVE on me. You are so lavishing in Your love. Thank You! And help me, Lord, always, to KNOW & LOVE You MORE. AMEN.

Enjoying God

Pull out a journal & take a minute to write or say your own praises to God & remember all the ways He expresses His love for you, displayed even in just His creation of the world around you. Just spend some time ENJOYING GOD.

I encourage you, Beautiful creation of Almighty God… if you are questioning me right now, rolling your eyes, or even slightly struggling to see how you can really, truly enjoy God versus seeing Him as a strict Rule-Giver, PLEASE ask God to help you see how you can know & love Him more & KEEP asking Him as He gently shows You His loving nature of kind gentleness… a King who uses His vast riches to pour out His great wonders for us to enjoy.

Let’s Revisit This Later…

I have so much more I can say about this, so let’s just call this part 1, to be continued in a later post.

But for now, start by asking God to show you how to know & love Him more & keep asking Him until your human perspective, tainted by the sins in the world & by Satan’s subtly believed deceit, is brightened by the joy God wishes to lavish over you even as just seen in His wise & beautiful creation.

Shine HOPE by enjoying & appreciating God’s beautiful design in creation & all the EXTRAS He included just because He knew it would make you smile.

He loves you!!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

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A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Trades of Hope Co-Founder Holly’s passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity, no matter their culture or past. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity. A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!