Growing & Learning Together

I always try to consider you, the reader, as a friend sitting across from me in the living room, sharing how God is working in our lives.

Not me as the “expert” & you as the “learner,” but as both of us growing & learning together on this journey called LIFE.

The Conversation Starter

There’s a friend of mine from college who used to lead conversation in such a life-changing way almost every time we’d hang out. (If you’re that friend—Thank you! It really encouraged me.)

Every time we would get lunch or meet for games or hang out in any way, he would always ask, “What has God been teaching you lately?”

Such a simple question, that undoubtedly sent me into a nervous frenzy of feeling put on the spot with nothing prepared… but over time, I came to pay more attention, intentionally, about where God was growing me, how He was leading/guiding me, & what He was teaching me… so I would be prepared when I was asked again next time.

Growing Encouraging Awareness

Because of this simple conversation starter, I grew in my AWARENESS of God’s working in my life, making it easier & easier to answer that question each time we met up, & almost always leading to an uplifting & encouraging conversation that led to constant reminders about how big & great & loving God really is.

So, I want to ask you today: “What has God been teaching YOU lately?”

(Maybe this should become a new weekly social media prompt…?)

Growing Your Faith Muscles Together

I really recommend meeting weekly with either a younger woman you would like to mentor (ie. go alongside in life, encouraging her & pointing her to God in all the highs & lows of life, praying together) or meeting with an older woman you feel would be a great mentor for YOU in the same way (or BOTH!).

Both have the potential to encourage you in many great & unseen ways!

It’s also a great idea to agree on an accountability partner with a woman who is more of a peer, encouraging one another to pray, seek God, learn the Bible, & so much more to grow your faith muscles together.

Accountability Questions

Here is the list of Accountability Questions my friend & I aim to ask each other & then discuss together each week:

(There is no magical set of questions & there are so many other options, but not knowing where to start, I prayed over how to be intentional in our conversation & these are what came to my mind personally, as a result.)

1. What is something you are grateful to God for this week?
2. What has God been teaching you over the last couple weeks?
3. What have you been reading in the Bible recently & did you learn anything specific from it?
4. What is one area you want to be growing in spiritually?
5. Is there something you would like me to help you stay accountable in?
6. What would you like me to be praying for?
7. (Then we take turns praying for each other.)

Let’s Grow Together!

Imagine a world where we all lifted each other up INTENTIONALLY & REGULARLY, by helping each other to remember to always seek God’s help, comfort, wisdom, strength, courage, peace, love, assurance, stability, guidance, etc. in every area of life!

Considering the pandemic, restrictions, isolation, sickness, death, political tensions, & everything else going on in this world right now, what I find myself longing for most is more friendships that always remind me to lean into God’s strength, comfort, peace, & Truth.

It’s easy to complain & try to ignore it, but how beautiful it is when we can come together, lift each other up, support each other, & always be pointing to our one & only TRUE source of HOPE—God Almighty, through the support & guidance of the Holy Spirit & the clean slate forgiveness, mercy, & grace offered freely to us by Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf.

Always Point to HIM

Let’s be intentional, through this stormy season in life, to lift each other up by remembering to always point to Him.

Have a chat with friends & ask questions that remind them to be AWARE of God’s love & power… & let’s keep that on the forefront of our minds through every storm we face together.

God’s got us! Let’s shine HOPE by intentionally & always pointing our friends to Him as our always-answer in everything big & small.

Please consider passing on some encouragement to me &/or anyone else who may read this, by answering one or all of the Accountability Questions in the comments below… or maybe ask a question of your own that will help us remember to seek Him right now! (Or, feel free to send me an email so we can chat!)

RESOURCE SUGGESTION:

My friend & I are currently working through the tiny but impactful book, “Sit, Walk, Stand,” by Watchman Nee.

This book walks through the Christian life.

“Sit” starts us off by helping us remember God’s DONE: God (Creation-God made it all), Jesus Christ (Redemption-Jesus paid it all), & the Holy Spirit (Sanctification-gives us all we need to live for God with strength, comfort, peace, wisdom, etc.!) “Walk” then moves into how our position with “SIT” affects our Christian life & “Stand” shows how this same Truth affects our ability to stand against the enemy (Satan).

Check it out & consider going through it with a friend who wants to grow their faith muscles!

Find it on Amazon.com, here, or Thriftbooks.com, here.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace from Kenya

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

I Believed a Lie

Why did it take me most of my life to read my Bible consistently, although I trusted in Jesus when I was still a child?

Aside from being naïve to the fact that I could ask for & receive help from God when I didn’t feel like reading (whether from stubborn rebellion, sickness, bad attitude, distractions, lack of time, not wanting to “be told what to do,” etc.) was this subtle lie that has misguided me on countless occasions… All or NOTHING.

I Didn’t Know I Was Believing a Lie

It wasn’t until recently, in the last few years, that I began to even recognize this as a lie or that it was even something I actually believed without being aware of it, which is why it is so important to pray often the much-quoted biblical prayer, “Lord, search me & know me. See if there be any wicked way in me,” (Psalm 139:23-24) because sometimes we’re so fooled that we don’t even realize we’re living based on a lie.

I certainly was…. It made sense to me.

What Is the Lie?

So, what do I mean by it? What is the “All or Nothing” lie?

Quite simply what it sounds like…. Satan convincing us or us convincing ourselves that if we can’t do it all… then we can or should do nothing.

The “All or Nothing” Lie

Do any of these sound familiar to you? They’re all things I have reasoned in my own mind many more times than I care to admit.

“I don’t have time to read 3-4 chapters a night to accomplish reading the Bible in a year. It’s just too much to commit to. It overwhelms me… so I am going to stop reading.”

“I don’t have the time nor the focus to sit still & pray for 30 minutes to an hour. It’s just too much for my attention span to handle! So I won’t take time to pray.”

“I can’t complete all of these lessons for the ladies’ Bible study because I have been busy… so I’ll just not go to the study group at all this week.”

“I can’t possibly solve the world poverty problem & every time I buy something that supports artisans working to be empowered out of poverty, it reminds me of the much greater need & it stresses me out… so I am going to stop buying that stuff.”

“I overeat sometimes, binging on junk food, so I am just going to quit trying to taking care of the body God has designed for & given to me because my failures discourage me too much.”

I Didn’t See It for What It Was

Do you see the pattern in those statements… that if I can’t do it to my expectations, I should just not do it?

Well, for so SO long, I DIDN’T see that pattern at all & I still struggle to recognize it for what it is sometimes.

These reasonings made sense to me. I couldn’t live up to the expectations others put before me (or the ones I placed upon myself after seeing that particular honorable habit modeled in someone else’s life) so I would just not do it at all anymore.

And so often, that’s exactly how Satan operates. Satan likes to convince us that because we can’t do it BIG, we shouldn’t do it at all.

But instead, what if we FIRST asked for God’s help for a starting point & also help in sticking with it… & just start SOMEWHERE with SOMETHING, even if it’s small!

Flipping the Script… Turn it to “All or SOMETHING”

When discouraged that you can’t keep up, try saying instead:

“I don’t feel like I have time or focus or energy to read that much of the Bible at a time, just starting out or for the season of life I am in… but I know that any that I CAN read will benefit me AND honor God, so I will read just a little every day & ask for God’s help in sticking with even that.”

“I don’t feel I can commit that much uninterrupted time praying, but I know that God hears me whether using the restroom, showering, laying in bed, driving, etc. So, I will ask God to remind me consistently to come to Him first in all things big & small for help, leaning into Him through all the highs & lows of life & coming to Him for all requests & praises when it crosses my mind. Any prayer will benefit me & honor God, so I will make a point to at least PRAY in the small moments I get.”

“I don’t feel I can complete my lessons this week for Bible Study, but I will ask God for timing & focus & motivation to do at least what I can of it & if I still fall flat, I will show up anyway knowing that the fellowship will lift me up & the conversation will remind me to come to Him in anything.”

“I can’t solve world poverty/starvation problems, but I can help as God presents me with opportunity. Even a small help is a big help to the person it benefits. So, I will ask God to help me see what my part is & be ready to follow His lead in that part & leave the rest in His hands, praying for those who still suffer.”

“I struggle taking care of my body consistently because of gluttony, versus seeking that fulfillment & satisfaction from God. So, I will ask God for forgiveness & that He help me keep doing little GOOD things for my body even when I fail sometimes.”

Where Have You Believed the Lie of “All or Nothing”?

What examples can you add to those above? Where are you believing the lie that because you can’t do it the way you feel you “should,” that you should just not do it at all?

Where do you need to just START, even if just a little at a time… & where do you need to ask God for help in doing even that small thing?

Shine hope. Start small & let God help you grow as you go.

SUGGESTED RESOURCE:

Something that helped wake me up to this “All or Nothing” lie is the itty bitty book, “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. This short book shows the perspective of demons conversing with one another, deliberating how they might deceive the person they seek to destroy. It was eye-opening & helped teach me to pray for discernment far more often than I was beforehand. Check it out on Amazon, here, or Thriftbooks.com, here.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Anika Earrings

These silver-plated hammered Anika Earrings are made in India where they get their name from an ancient Sanskrit word meaning “grace & favor”. Add some fun to your wardrobe with these lightweight statement earrings!

Artisan Information:

Women in India still face widespread discrimination that often leads to poverty & exploitation. Your purchase provides opportunities for women to earn sustainable income through creative expression as fair-trade Artisans.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

A Challenging Year

To risk starting this week on a downer, this year has been tough on a lot of us, hasn’t it?

It’s easy to want to sugarcoat it… It’s easy to complain about it… It’s easy to want to ignore it… but the truth is that in one way or another, this year has been a challenge.

Restrictions, home-quarantine, loss of jobs, loss of lives, fear, arguments, distress, unrest, masks, excessive hand-washing, social distancing, cancelled vacations, lonely holidays… the list goes on.

It has been rough.

And as we face the coming year, many of us are perched on the edge of our chairs hoping for a better tomorrow… for a better year… for HOPE.

Anxiety

Anxiety is something I wrestle with pretty frequently. Whenever I am overcome with an onslaught of things I can’t control or fix or solve, I feel paralyzed by anxiety… wanting to hide from it all.

This past year has been a prime example of resurfacing stressors & fears for me from our time in Hokkaido. (I can’t stress enough that it was so beautiful there, with amazing things to see & do, with even more wonderful people to support & encourage us… but the stress of constant culture shock was real.)

And when this always-talked-about pandemic showed up, flash backs of stress traumas began to consume me in anxiety, making me fear what was to come.

God Is in Control

It’s tempting to walk into 2021 with trepidation as well, wondering if the struggles will continue or even worsen in some way.

But then I remember one very wonderful truth that I can cling to with sure assurance… God is in control even when I am not… even when the whole world seems out of control.

The more I read the Bible… the more I talk to God, sharing my heart & leaning on Him & learning to trust Him & love Him more… the more I begin to see the beautiful tapestry woven by our great & loving God.

God Always Has a Plan

It’s easy to see 2020 as an onslaught of misery & pain… or at least of discomfort & inconvenience… It’s easy to be like the Israelites roaming the desert, complaining & consumed with thinking of how life once was.

Aside from the fact that the Israelites had been in bondage before roaming the desert, they still craved the familiarity of their bondage.

Walking in the desert wasn’t easy for them. And although God led them with a pillar of fire by night & a pillar of cloud by day, God provided for them with sufficient food, & God answered their complaints through Moses’ prayers (while they should have trusted & asked God themselves versus complaining & pushing Moses to pray on their behalf), all the while God was leading them to a beautiful land to call their home in FREEDOM… & despite all of that, they longed for their old life versus God’s plan.

That’s so often the common response to struggle. Maybe we were in bondage to wrong thinking or bad habits or thinking life is all about us & what we want… & it’s uncomfortable having our way disrupted & pulled out from under us… But I guarantee you this, if we cling to God & trust God with the changes: It’s for our good… every time.

I Needed to Remember

When the crazy of 2020 began & the fears of a life interrupted trickled in & anxiety of returning to the isolation I felt in Hokkaido reared up… I was afraid… SO afraid I cried many times, begging God that it not be so.

But in His gentle, loving way, He whispered His reminders across my heart that come what may, I needed to remember I can cling to Him as a steady & sure foundation when it seems everything else is crumbling around me.

And as we head into this new year, that same loving reminder echoes in my heart: Trust Him, He has you… come what may.

A Hope-Filled New Year

It’s a HOPE-FILLED New Year ahead. HE is our HOPE.

Our hope is not in our plans working out, but in His plans working out.

Our hope is not in finding rest in hoped-for vacations, but in finding rest in Him.

Our hope is not in feeling strong & confident, but in remembering He is strong even when we are not & finding confidence in Him.

Our hope is not in a vaccine or a cure or the end of the virus, but in realizing that He IS Sufficient… Come what may.

Our hope is in learning to rest in & trust in HIM.

Personal Control Is a Lie That Keeps Us from Experiencing True PEACE

I know it’s hard. I know it sucks sometimes & you just want to go back to the life you had. I feel the craving for the vaccine just on the slim chance it will mean I can have “my” life back.

And I have to ask God forgiveness for that… that He have mercy on my never-ending yearning to grasp back supposed control for myself so I don’t have to rely on trust in Him as much.

Forgive me, God.

Because it’s a lie, guys. Our personal control is a lie. Our hope in those other things is a lie.

It’s a lie we cling to because it’s our familiar, but it’s a lie all the same.

Only hope in Him is secure & sure… steady & faithful… full of grace & love that can fulfill us in ways unimaginable. A SURE Hope that breeds PEACE.

A Glorious HOPE!! Praise Be to God!

2020 has been an exercise of remembering my real hope is in Him… not in life, or my determination, or my plans… not in government or culture or society… but in Him ALONE... In life AND in death.

And what a wonderful, glorious, praise-worthy HOPE it is!

We can walk confidently into 2021, not reliant on a vaccine & not even reliant on things going back to “normal”, but because we have REAL HOPE in One Who will never disappoint!

He is with us always, even to the end of the age. (Matt. 28:20)

He is Love. (1 John 4:8-16)

He is our Refuge & our Strength & a very present Help in time of trouble. (Psalm 46:1-3)

He is the Author & Perfecter of our faith, so entrust Him with the pen. (Hebrews 12:2)

Shine HOPE to the world by clinging to Him as your true & only Hope… come. what. may.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Jubilee Bracelet Set (Haiti)

This set of 3 stretch bracelets features cranberry & blush hand-rolled Haitian clay beads with brass accent beads. Every product has variations as a part of the Artisan-made charm! (On Sale Now & While Supplies Last!)

Meet the Artisan:
Makensia’s Story of Hope

Surrounded by the tropical beauty of Haiti, Makensia is also surrounded by extreme poverty. But neither poverty, nor the death of a child, nor domestic abuse have defined her. She has persevered through many challenging seasons & continues to pursue good things for her family.

While many mothers in her village have been forced to make the heartbreaking decision to give up their children to poverty orphanages to save them from starvation, this mother of five has been able to earn enough income to keep her family together with the simple act of hand-rolling Haitian clay beads & making jewelry from discarded cereal boxes. Your purchase helps Makensia & other Haitian mothers continue to keep their families together.

The Impact of Your Purchase:
Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who gave them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Haiti!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Favorite Ornament

My favorite ornament on our tree every year is a cross. We are always careful to place it near the top, at eye level, front & center….

The Ending That Stuck with Me

Over a decade ago, my family (parents & siblings) went to see the Christmas Nativity Sight & Sound production in Pennsylvania. (If you have not had the enormous pleasure of seeing one of their shows, put it on your bucket list for sure! Live animals, wrap-around stage, & wonderful re-enactments of the true stories of Scripture. Both Inspiring & Beautiful.)

Not only was the entirety of that Christmas Nativity performance moving & spectacular, the ending is what stuck with me all these many years later.

As the performance came to a close, the lights dimmed… & shown in the backdrop, illuminated, was a CROSS.

I will never forget it.

Reflections This Christmas

In the production’s retelling of Jesus’ birth: the virgin Mary, visited by the angel & told of the child she would carry, placed in her by God Almighty… her fiancé Joseph who honorably chose to put Mary away quietly rather than have her stoned for “infidelity” & who was then also visited by an angel of God & told that the child Mary carried was the Son of the Most High God & would someday save the world from their sins… the traveling to fulfill the king’s command… the inn where there was no room… the stable-like cave they were placed in as Mary gave birth to our Savior… the angels who sang & announced to the lowly shepherds the arrival of God-come-as-man for all mankind… the wise men who travelled far, offering gifts of honor….

And for them to end the whole re-telling of the first Christmas with an illuminated cross as the backdrop sent me sobbing to myself in my seat.

Christmas Grace, Christmas Mercy, Christmas LOVE

This precious, sweet infant Jesus… God in flesh… He came willingly to earth so He could love us in person & display His truth & mercy & grace & LOVE… knowing He ALSO came to die… for us

And this was God’s plan all along.

… Not just since the first Christmas, but since BEFORE TIME. God ALWAYS knew that Jesus would come as man & live as Emmanuel “God with us” to eventually die in our place to make us right with God.

What mercy! What grace! What wonderful LOVE!

The Struggle Is REAL

There are so many things struggling for our attention during this season:  Christmas cards (our close friends & family are getting ‘New Year cards’ this year, haha), cookie-baking, caroling, shopping, wrapping, decorating, cooking, cleaning, planning, parties, church services, driving to see the lights, & all the hustle & bustle of the holidays.

But one must take the time to quiet their heart & remember…

The Most Wonderful Gift Can’t be Bought

Remember the beautiful gift of Jesus Who willingly came to pay for our sins on the cross.

He was God-with-us. He was the most impactful, life-changing, life-sacrificing, LOVING gift we will ever receive on any Christmas for all time. He topped the charts… ALL the charts.

So, take a moment right now to close your eyes & take a few deep, slow breaths… quiet your heart & mind from all the crazy going on around you… & thank Him. Let your heart feel the blessing that is JESUS.

My Christmas Prayer

“Lord, we don’t deserve You. I mean, we are sometimes SO BUSY that it’s hard to even remember that You’re still with us. Thank You for coming… for giving us a JOYFUL & beautiful reason to celebrate this season. You are such a loving gift to us. We can get so wrapped up in everything this season has become & miss the most beautiful, life-changing part. Help our hearts to take some time to reflect on You & to express our gratitude & to somehow point to You & give You the glory You so rightly deserve during this holiday season. THANK YOU. Thank You that Your immense love for us demanded that You rescue us. You couldn’t bear to leave us to ourselves because Your love for us is so complete & all-consuming. You ARE love. Thank You that despite how often we disregard or disrespect You, whether stubbornly intentional or naively unaware… You still love us so fiercely & Your love for us cannot be drowned out by anything. How deep, how wide, & how GREAT Your love for us is. Thank You for this Christmas & all it means to me & to all of us. THANK YOU. Amen.”

Merry Christmas!

These are my reflections this Christmas as I seek to remember the reason we all have to celebrate Christmas this year & every year to come! Amen!

Merry Christmas Beautiful! I pray that you realize just how much He loves you & is always with you, no matter what. He loves you so much!

Shine HOPE this Christmas by pointing to Him as your hope & joy this holiday. <3

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs (India)

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. (Flash-plated posts.)

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Hesitant Beginnings

When I started my blog over 2 years ago, ONE of my biggest concerns (shared by my husband) was that I would never be able to stay consistently committed to it.

To be quite honest, I am the type of person who gets really excited about a new project, gets invested in said project, but when the excitement wanes, the project begins collecting dust (usually all within the same month).

I am pretty responsible when given tasks to complete, unless those tasks are assigned by myself, because I don’t seem to mind disappointing myself & it ends up becoming a problem with my productivity sometimes… (& my husband, although gracious with me, knows it, too).

Meal planning & house-cleaning get pushed back far too often, leaving a then overwhelming obstacle that I just want to avoid altogether. It’s a bit of a problem & I have been working to ask God to help me in that area.

So, when God put this website & blog on my heart, knowing I would need to commit weekly, whether I felt inspired, motivated, in a sharing mood, or NOT… I was not so sure.

Warts & All

I prayed about this concern, asking God to help me know whether to pay for & start the training I needed to create my website, knowing all too well my infamous tendency to quit when the going got tough. I was afraid I couldn’t keep up with it… knowing that if I was grumpy or busy or feeling so incredibly lazy one week, I would need to still show up, warts & all.

I wondered how I could write a blog, run a website, & host a community on social media, knowing I was so fickle… wondering how I could possibly stay consistent AND authentic while doing it.

It seemed an impossible combination, seeing my personal track record.

Not About MY Glory, But HIS

But in my asking God about it, seeking His wisdom & guidance, He reminded me of one very beautiful fact: this blog was not to be about my glory, but HIS.

In other words, seeing as I am JUST HUMAN, there would undoubtedly be weeks I didn’t want to care or didn’t want to scrap together an ounce of effort & where I just wanted to drop it all for some tv binging sessions… but that I could show up & be real about it ALL… because it’s NOT about ME being great, but about HIM being GREAT.

Let’s Get Real

He encouraged me that I could show up for my weekly videos or blogs like a complete hot mess, not having gotten any sleep, grumpy & grouchy, wishing I could avoid any & all responsibility, NOT caring about anyone but myself because I am feeling selfish & lazy… & say, “Listen ladies, I didn’t want to be here today. I wanted to tell God off & say, ‘I don’t wanna!’ like a whiny toddler throwing a hissy fit. I don’t feel like I have myself together AT ALL today & I honestly feel like I would rather just quit. But, GOD. In all of my mess, in all of my unwilling, stubborn bad attitude, I knew deep down that God’s got me, even when I don’t. So, I asked Him to help me show up for Him & help me point to Him. Because, ladies, it’s not about you or I having ourselves together, it’s about Him having full control, even when we feel out of control. We can trust Him EVEN when we fail completely.”

Even when.

Only He Has It All Together

I don’t have to pretend to have it all together, because I don’t. I am afraid of vulnerability & have to ask God for courage. I am lazy & prefer doing the bare minimum & have to ask God for the extra push of strength & motivation to trust Him more. I have insecurities where I need to ask God to help me trust Him for my confidence.

And there began my confidence to begin my blog, even in all of my known personal weaknesses, knowing that even if I want to quit or fail embarrassingly, I can always turn to Him to help me & to be my strength & my role is to JUST SHOW UP.

Up to Him

Because it’s not about me coming to you, the epitome of what a Christian woman “should” look like. It’s about me coming to you as a FELLOW weak, prone to wander, limited human being, warts & all & pointing to our Almighty, Always Faithful, INFINITE, Limitless, PERFECT God who loves us all so, so much.

Prayer… talking to God… is about admitting you NEED Him… In everything big & small.

It’s okay to need Him. It’s okay to SHOW you need Him because we were ALL MADE TO NEED Him.

Don’t Bow Out, Just Show Up

So, the next time you are tempted to bow out because you just CAN’T… & next time you want to turn down a project God has put on your heart because you don’t think you can live up to it… understand that it’s okay to put yourself out there for a project you feel you can’t do… because He will help you as you lean into Him in trying to follow His lead through life.

Shine HOPE by being transparent, by allowing your human weakness to show, by JUST SHOWING UP, & by remembering that it’s about God’s glory, not yours.

He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace from Kenya!

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Approx. Measurements: Adjustable 28 1/2″ – 39″
Materials: Brass, Ethically collected bone, Cotton cording
Color: Gold and ivory

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. We appreciate your continued support!

Trying to Find My Place

Have you ever felt like you don’t measure up to anyone else’s expectations?

Do you ever feel like the oddball? Or is it just me…?

Maybe you feel too loud… or too quiet.

Maybe your interests don’t seem to line up with anyone else’s & you feel like you don’t quite “fit in” anywhere?

Maybe you never were that good at sports or maybe you lack a green thumb or maybe your craft DIY projects look more like a 3-year old who got into the craft supplies.

Maybe everyone else seems to mingle with ease, while you stuff your face with whatever food they have to offer, sitting as far away from the awkward social interactions as possible. (*coughdonethatcough*)

Have you ever felt like the “ugly duckling” of the group? Like you don’t fit in & don’t measure up & just don’t belong anywhere?

I have. Oh, I have.

I grew up feeling super shy. I know, some of you may not believe that, but boy is it true!

I was so desperate to fit in & “belong.”

“Do You Like Me? Check Yes or No.”

I remember being in 4^th grade & I felt so ashamed that I didn’t have a crush on anyone because that seemed to be the talk of every girl on the playground, so I picked a guy at random whom I thought was cute & would “gush” about him so I would feel part of the normal girl crowd.

Lame, I know.

Don’t worry… On the last day of school, since I no longer would have a playground circle of girls discussing their current crushes… I wrote him a note that said I decided I didn’t like him anymore.

OUCH, I know… but honestly, I think he was probably quite relieved because boy were my “love” notes LAME. “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” He ALWAYS checked NO… or more like circled it several times, highlighted it, & drew several arrows toward it. (Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but sadly too close to reality, haha.)

My Super Power Is Being Socially Awkward

Maybe you’re thinking, “Well Michelle, that was 4th grade. EVERYONE was awkward at that age.” Well, I wish I could say it stopped back then.

It’s ridiculous the things we can do to be liked, isn’t it? And trust me, the examples of mine did NOT end in 4^th grade, although I REALLY wish I could honestly say that they did.

A majority of my most embarrassing moments, which I can usually laugh about now, were due to me just trying too dang hard to be liked by everyone else.

“Please Like Me!!”

Even my dating years consisted of me trying tirelessly to be the “perfect” girlfriend while trying to NEVER assert my own opinions or feelings, afraid to be considered too much of a burden.

I kept my real self locked away & I tried to be everything they could ever want: flirty, fun, supportive, good listener, funny, laughing at their jokes, agreeing with everything, trying to match my interests to theirs, wanting so badly to just be accepted & wanted, not realizing I wasn’t even giving them a fair chance to do so, locking the real me away.

The silly things we do to be loved. And wanted.

Trying Too Hard

I used to hear things about God’s love for me & never really got it. I would hear that my “identity is in Him & not in me trying to be enough.” I didn’t know what that meant either.

A majority of my life can be summed up by me trying to be what I thought everyone wanted or expected from me… always feeling like I never quite got it right.

Basically, the phrase “trying too hard” was an accurate summary of my life.

It makes people uncomfortable when they can tell you’re trying too hard. And yet, I didn’t feel I was good enough on my own & was always over-compensating.

The Things We Do to be Liked

Maybe you read this & think, “Michelle, you are exaggerating… I have NEVER felt this way about you!” Well, thanks for lying… haha… but really, some of you may be thinking, “Oh yeah, I definitely have gotten that vibe from you. This explains so much.”

But, while I still struggle with insecurity & feeling like I fit in sometimes, I have grown SO MUCH in this area because of one beautiful & simple thing… I started understanding those 2 things I mentioned about God & how that impacts where I “FIT.”

Where We Stand with God

I think a lot of us who grow up in church take for granted “churchy” phrases they may have heard their whole lives, while never really grasping their significance or even their meaning, while those who don’t know Jesus just have no clue, period.

So, let’s take some time to hopefully remind us all, including awkward, lovely me, where we stand with God… to hopefully help us overcome this strong, pulling desire to be liked, wanted, & to fit in with those around us.

How Do We KNOW God Loves Us?

Let’s start at the beginning… the before-the-world-even-BEGAN, beginning. Our Alpha & Omega God.

God knew He was going to make you even then. He knew all the ways you would fail, in the small & big things. He knew. And yet, not only did His plan to make you remain, but He also made sure there would be a plan in place, through Jesus coming to die on our behalf & rise again victorious, to make you right before God again & restore that relationship FOR you. Our Creator, Redeemer God.

Then He made Earth, full of beauty & all you would need to survive, sustaining you & helping you to live a life of JOY. Beautiful sights to behold: sunsets, waterfalls, flowers, animals, stars, oceans, mountains, fish, birds… Smells that delight the senses… Textures that comfort, relax, refresh, invigorate… Sounds that soothe, uplift, encourage, comfort, surprise… Tastes that make you mmmmmmmm. He made all that possible for you to enjoy. Yes, it is broken by sin, but there is still SO MUCH beauty to enjoy. Our Wise, Creative & Lavishing-of-Love God.

How Do We Determine Our TRUE Identity?

Then He made YOU, individual, unique, crafted by hand, knit together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-16), designed by GOD. He made not only humanity, but YOU… specifically YOU. Your identity is wrapped up in the fact that He made you with a design & a purpose that He worked out for you ahead of time & that you will discover more as you lean into His guidance & lead… Our Creator & Father God.

AND, He sent Jesus to die on your behalf, before you were even born, so that when you realized your need for Him, He would be ready with open arms to welcome you home… Jesus having paid the price of your rebellion & mistakes & all you have to do is ACCEPT that gift to you. Your identity is wrapped up in His grace for you, paying your debt & making you whole once more. Our Redeemer, Rescuer God.

With You Every Step of Life

AND, He had the Bible written for you. His Word. To us. Instructions, advice, & a story laced throughout with love & redemption for a people prone to wander. A people like you & me. His grace is His message (John 11:25). We can TRUST His Word & OBEY it because it was ALL meant to show us what is the BEST of life. A life lived with trusting love for our All-Knowing, All-Wise, LOVING God.

AND, He doesn’t stop there. He HELPS you with that plan He has just for you… your unique story, written by God. He offers His GRACE. He offers His wisdom & strength & hope & peace & love & joy & guidance & He makes a way. He is MASTER of the IMPOSSIBLE. He turns ashes to beauty (Isaiah 61:3) & He works ALL THINGS together for the GOOD of those who love Him & are trusting His way (Romans 8:28). Our Author, Sustainer, Helping God.

The Grand Splendor Awaits!

And when you die, if you have but accepted God’s fully paid for grace, through Jesus’ sacrifice on your behalf, you are welcomed with OPEN ARMS into a place called Heaven, where there is no more death, no more tears, & no more sadness or grief (Revelation 21:4). A place full of wonder & awe, praising this all-powerful God who loves us so incredibly much. Our King of kings, Lord of lords GOD.

And that is why you can accept His love for you & trust that He’s got you. Because it’s not based at all on whether you are good enough, but that HE IS.

Far Beyond Understanding, But Fulfilling Beyond Words

He LOVES you beyond anything we can ever understanding & so far outside anything another person could try to mimic. He sees you completely, past & present, hidden & revealed, pride & shame, EVERYTHING… & He says, “I love you. Come to me.”

How much FREEDOM this gives us! Hallelujah!

I don’t have to be what I think others want of me… I just have to be who God MADE me to be… & if I don’t know what that is because my whole perception of myself is built up around what others have expected or told me… trauma & fears… & all my mistakes… I (& you) can go to Him & ASK HIM.

Asking God How HE Made Me

“God, I don’t know how you made me, to be honest. This person says I need to be like this & culture says I need to be like that. Friends all do this & society seems to believe this… I don’t know what’s true about me anymore. I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM. God, please show me. If You MADE me, then ONLY YOU would really know who I am & who I am meant to be. Help me sift through the lies. Help me to see the truth… Your design. Help me know how to trust You. Help me see the me You made me to be. I am tired of always trying to live up to everything. It’s exhausting & confusing & feels so fake. Help me know the truth. Set me free from expectations. Help me have the confidence to stand on who YOU say I am & not need anyone or anything else to define me or give me my worth. Help me, please, Father, Creator, Loving GOD. Help me. I love you. AMEN.”

I prayed that more times than I can count growing up. I got so tired of the game to fit in. I didn’t know who I was. I was lost & tired of holding up the façade I thought others expected from me.

I URGE YOU… pray similarly. If you have resonated with a single thing I’ve said today… pray that prayer.

His Word & Design Trump ALL ELSE

Let HIM shape you. Let HIS design define you. Let HIS love for you, a love that could never be used up or exhausted, let it FILL YOU.

You don’t need to impress me because the God who made you is so overwhelmed with love for you that He made you, knowing you’d leave Him, set a plan in place to redeem you, & has a story written singularly just for you, WITH HIS HELP as you lean into Him, all wrapped in His love, strength, hope, joy, grace, wisdom, understanding, & power.

He’s got you, babe. Oh, how He’s got you!

Stand in Confidence!

Let Him love you & then shine His grace to this hurting, bleeding world. It’s THE most valuable use of life to shout the praises of the One who made the world, saved the world, & loves it in His infinite grace, welcoming us all to come & accept His beautiful design & to dismiss the rest of that mess in which we tend to cling to so tightly.

He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bombolulu Earrings from Kenya

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Let’s Talk About November

I’ve had a rough month.

It started November 1, before the sun rose, driving to the airport way earlier than I am comfortable waking & then saying goodbye to my Mom & brother-in-law who so graciously drove us to the airport so incredibly early.

My hubs & I had just spent about a month with our families in the States, cautious & careful to social distance, wear masks, & not go out to socialize/shop as much as we’re used to, all in the name of healthy precaution.

Arriving Back in Japan

After a grueling, sleepless 24-hour journey from my parents’ home back to Japan, we had to go through COVID screening at immigration in Japan. We were herded like cattle through different COVID immigration checkpoints & then asked to go stand in a booth similar to that of a voting booth & spit a specific amount of saliva into a test tube type thing.

Then came a sit-down with immigration to cover where we had been & where we planned to go within Japan (with details about how we planned to get there, aka NOT public transportation.) Jamie handled most of that, with me answering questions as I was asked.

Restlessly Settling In

We received emails that our tests were negative, meaning we were cleared to take the shuttle to the military base there in Tokyo, where we would be taken directly to our quarantine room. It was much like a hotel room, except as a small apartment, with a tv, basic amenities, & a kitchen.

We spent Monday night through Wednesday morning in our Tokyo base quarantine room, ordering takeout online for every meal, as we had little else to choose from, trying to pass the time away as sanely as possible with our growing “cabin fever.”

Finally Heading Home

Then came the Wednesday morning bus from Tokyo to Misawa. We had to order food beforehand because for this 10+ hour bus ride, we were not permitted to exit the bus for any reason. There was a surprisingly large bathroom on the bus (think ferry boat bathroom versus the tiny airplane bathroom we were expecting). The bus was crammed full of people coming from who knows where outside of Japan. Our hopes for avoiding COVID were teetering.

Once we arrived in Misawa, we were divided & directed to smaller vehicles, depending on where we all lived, ours being the off-base van.

When we got home on Wednesday night, we knew the drill… no leaving our house or coming into contact with any other person, for any reason, for the rest of our 14-day quarantine upon arriving in Japan.

The Symptoms Began

Thursday, a mild sore throat began.

Friday, my symptoms multiplied. I had a mild fever of 100.3 & had chills, a headache, fatigue, aches, minor nausea, diarrhea (sorry, for too much information? (tmi)), & a mild dry cough.

I tried to convince myself that it was just my body adjusting from all the travel as well as the sudden drop in temperature upon stepping off the bus in Misawa after sun fall.

But somewhere deep down, something didn’t feel right.

Monitor & Wait…

Don’t worry, we responsibly called the COVID response line & reported it. But because my symptoms were pretty mild & my fever was low & short-lived, coupled with the fact that I was in quarantine already & would be tested in less than a week anyway, I was told to monitor my condition until my test & to report in again if it worsened to any of the more serious symptoms.

Fortunately, it didn’t get more serious & I got better, with only a lingering minor headache, fatigue, & mild diarrhea (sorry, again) remaining. I was hopeful.

But then, I completely lost my sense of smell, a telltale symptom of COVID-19… & I mean COMPLETELY. I tested it with essential oils &… NOTHING.

Getting the Test… Getting the Results… I’m Positive

On day 10 of quarantine, we drove on base to get tested, instructed never to open our windows or get out of our car for any reason, except the slight lowering of the window for the test specifically.

We were hopeful. Just a few short days until life, as normal, resumes!

Day 11 of quarantine, we got the call. I had COVID.

The Rush of Instructions & Contact-Tracing Calls Began

We were instructed that I should pack a bag & be ready to leave my house in the next few hours to be taken into isolation. We later found out that Jamie was also required to do the same, separate from me, as well as everyone who was on that bus into Misawa.

Because they didn’t want any human in our home before it could be thoroughly decontaminated, the positive was them allowing me to bring my kitty as a companion during this isolation.

I was scared. I was nervous. I didn’t want to go. I had no idea what lay ahead of me in terms of isolation & I didn’t want to do it alone. I wanted my husband, Jamie, to come with me & help me know how to navigate the unknown.

In my preparations to move into isolation, I would intermittently stop prepping & cry into a pillow, wishing it was all just a bad dream. This information I had received also meant I would be spending my birthday alone, in an isolation room away from home. I was so grieved by it all. I wanted to stay home.

The Isolation Began

Moving into my new, temporary, empty apartment, things only got worse… No kitchen supplies, no TV, a rock-hard mattress, & carpets covered with all kinds of stains (one of which appeared to be old dog urine that never got cleaned up & was crusted into the carpet).

I felt despair wash over me upon seeing my new “home” & I cried as Jamie stepped out of my room after helping me bring in my bags.

The isolation began.

The Sleepless First Night Alone

That night, alone & cold & on the hardest mattress I have ever “slept” on (& I typically prefer firmer mattresses!), I felt so sad & if it weren’t for the gross carpets, would have dropped to my knees & let the sadness envelope me.

I didn’t sleep that first night, after a night of tossing & turning, where the hard mattress left me sorer with every passing hour.

In Comes the Cavalry!

To my delight, a friendly acquaintance (AKA Absolute HERO) offered me a spare mattress topper the next day & church friends were quick to bring food, paper products, plasticware, soap, pots, pans, water, etc., coming to the quick rescue with so much generous support & encouragement. (Someone even brought me a tv to use!)

I felt overwhelmed by all the love pouring in from unexpected places!

Living in Isolation

Over the next several days, with no symptoms, I was visited twice daily for vitals checks by various nurses.

I spent the days doing puzzles, playing Minecraft, reading, talking to Jamie on video chat, & being soothed by a cute cat snuggled alongside me.

Since it was my birthday week, I made one of my favorite meals, called Creamy Cheesy Chicken (think creamed parmesan cheese, garlic, & cream cheese over chicken & broccoli, with rice—YUM) to help cheer me up.

The Gift of Friendship

My friends were so generous with gifts & words of kindness flooded in from unexpected people who just wanted me to know I had their support if I needed it.

I will tell you, you don’t realize how blessed you are until you are in great need & HAVE to ask for help. They were all so generous with their time & efforts, even treating us to meals occasionally or bringing me cheerful birthday gifts of things to help me pass the time like puzzles, books, bath stuff, nail stuff, coloring supplies, etc. I was blown away by their kind generosity.

Anticipating My “Guaranteed” Release!

With COVID-19, apparently you are only contagious 10 days after symptoms begin & the COVID team/Misawa base decided to play it safe & have me stay an added few days. I would be free soon enough.

November 18 was my birthday & while I dreaded the idea of a lonely birthday locked away in my tower, I asked God to help me enjoy it & that’s exactly what He did. I had my favorite foods, spent a lot of time video-chatting my family & Jamie, played with some of the stuff generously brought by friends, & even was brought candles & a lighter for my brownies, with sparkling cider. It was a pretty okay day.

The next day was packing day. I would be released the next day. It was a lot of work, but I got everything washed & cleaned up & loaded in my bags & all my bags were ready & waiting for my authorization guaranteed to come the next day.

Except it didn’t.

The Deliberation

Bright & early I received a call from the COVID response team telling me my release was being debated. Even though I had had absolutely no symptoms for about a week & because it had been 2 weeks since the start of my symptoms, I was no longer contagious… they weren’t sure about releasing me because they never took my temperature or saw my symptoms for themselves (AKA they had no proof) & because I was not asked to be tested when the symptoms began, they weren’t sure they could count my word.

I sat & waited anxiously all day for the deliberation to come to a conclusion. Bags by the door, I was ready to go.

Finally, that evening of the 20^th, I got the call from an authority in public health.

My release was declined. I would be locked in for another week.

As the Despair Settled Over Me…

I went through the motions of trying to be polite & express my understanding of their answer while my head swirled in bewilderment. I had been guaranteed I was okay to leave today… & yet, I wasn’t. I didn’t understand how a “guaranteed release” could turn into another WEEK here…!

When I finally was able to hang up, I let my hand & phone drop to my lap as I stared at the wall in front of me.

And then I just cried.

Together Again

I knew my husband would be slightly excited because that meant we could finally be reunited. He had tested positive several days after our arrival in isolation & would have to stay even longer, but now that I could not leave, their rule of us staying separate was no longer a requirement. (Before I got word of my weeklong extension, when Jamie tested positive, COVID authority said that even though we were BOTH positive, we could not isolate together because I would have to stay the additional 1.5 weeks with him if I did? We never understood why.)

But even though I was glad to see my husband again, I was supposed to be going home & now I was just moving across the hall for my FOURTH week of quarantine.

Defeated

The first day was spent in a daze. DEFEATED was the word that described how I felt. I didn’t want to hope for anything anymore because I couldn’t handle any more disappointment.

We spent Thanksgiving in our little apartment, with our cat, celebrating with a mounded plate of delicious food, thanks to those same wonderful church friends who had been taking such good care of us through all of this isolation & frustration.

1.5 Weeks Later…

It was a rough month, but today, right now, I am writing to you from my couch in my living room in my house… & I am thinking THANK YOU, GOD.

But maybe not for the reason you may be thinking right now.

Not just Thank You, God for being HOME FINALLY, (but that is definitely part of it—I almost was beginning to think they meant never to let us leave), but also because of all the many blessings He has brought me during this rough month of November.

ALL HE HAS PROVIDED!

He provided someone willing to rush over a mattress topper to give me comfortable sleep.

He provided friends who rushed to fulfill our every need when we couldn’t take care of it ourselves.

He gave me a birthday filled with love from friends & even unexpected people.

He provided generous friends who brought us a bountiful Thanksgiving meal & even a centerpiece to liven up the place.

He provided us a 9^th floor view of amazing sunsets over Misawa.

He provided approval to have my cat as my companion, where he normally sleeps in his own space, he spent every night cuddled against my legs on the bed & every day snuggled next to me on the couch.

He provided video calls/technology to help me stay connected when I was all alone.

He provided PEACE when I felt peace was ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE.

God PROVIDES.

Memories Better Than Expected

Was it fun? Nope. Would I repeat it? No.

But I will leave it behind me with much fonder memories than I ever expected I could. Memories of kindness, generosity, unexpected love, & a peace that made absolutely no sense in the midst of some very tough days.

And on those days when I was so upset & anxious & frustrated & alone & tired & aching & sleepless, when I cried out to God… He showed up EVERY time by filling me with HIS PEACE, letting me know He’s got me & He’s got everything under control.

Take Those Cries to God

My call to you is this: Maybe you didn’t miss out on the entire month of November, get COVID, or get isolated from even your husband, or maybe your month has been EVEN WORSE… but whatever the case, take those cries to God.

Because, when things seem impossible… things such as peace & HOPE… God is master of the impossible. He is King of kings, Lord of lords, Creator, Redeemer, Beginning, & the End, All-Knowing, All-Present, All-Understanding, All-Wise, Sovereign, LOVING GOD.

CRY. OUT. TO. HIM.

He is worth it every freakin’ time!

Shine HOPE by turning to Him when all seems hopeless & lost, letting Him be the hope that fills your heart when you feel you have none.

He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Now… it’s time for me to go sigh a HUGE sigh of relief, because you know what? I’m HOME! Praise God!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Radiant Necklace Set

On-trend set of 3 layered necklaces (only ONE shown) that can be worn together or separately, featuring a labradorite stone, hammered discs, & a *blue topaz crystal drop*.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. Every purchase provides women with income, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members. Many of these artisans have been exploited by sweatshops in the past but are now receiving fair wages as artisans in safe & caring fair-trade workshops.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Undeserved

Have you ever stopped to consider just how little we deserve grace?

I know it’s hard for me to consider this fact because it is so easy to only consider my intentions & to always try to look at myself in a more positive light.

Pretty Good on the Outside, But…

When I was young, I got pretty good at keeping up appearances & trying to be the golden child who knew all the right answers. I still thrive on praise & once I figured that out, it became my goal to have people like me.

I thought being “good” was enough.

And even now, as an adult, I find it easy to consider the few accolades I receive & just bury the negative aspects of myself, pretending they don’t exist.

God Sees & God Knows

But those negative things about me do exist. And God sees every selfish decision, every refusal to run to Him for help, thus doing it my way, the wrong way. God sees it all. Every secret & every blemish that I try so hard to act as if it doesn’t exist.

Until I Face Hardship… Then It REALLY Shows

But when I am faced with something difficult, frustrating, &/or painful, those negative sides of me seem to shine beyond anything I can hide from myself.

Satan used to convince me that those less-than-appealing moments meant that I wasn’t really saved by God’s grace… that I obviously didn’t prove myself good enough.

But over the years of struggling through those fears & accusations, God has encouraged me with one very beautiful fact… Thank God, God’s grace is for everyone. And it’s NOT based on ME.

I Am NOT Good Enough… & Yet…

Me, even me, in all of my mess, a girl who could never earn the grace God offers, is offered it all the same.

You see, there is actually NOTHING I can do to earn it. Even in all of my good intentions, focusing hard on the accolades I receive & focusing just as hard on ignoring or justifying the not-so-pretty parts… I cannot even begin to earn it. And neither can you.

And that, Beautiful, is the most magnificently, spectacularly amazing fact that we can cling to in our darkest moments. We CAN’T earn it!

In the Beginning… God KNEW

Going back to before time began, God planned & designed humanity, the world, & all that is in it. And in that plan, before creation began, He KNEW we would betray Him, rebel, & have those negative aspects hidden from the world. He KNEW.

And yet, instead of saying, “You know what—they’re not worth it,” INSTEAD, He said, “So God created mankind in His own image. In the image of God, He created them; male & female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27) & “For God SO LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting LIFE.” (John 3:16)

He had a plan. A plan for our rescue. A plan for our redemption.

A plan of GRACE.

He Knew… He Planned… HE Rescued

“But God proves His love for us in that WHILE we were still sinners, Christ died FOR us.” (Romans 5:8) (Emphasis mine.)

He knew I would be this way, with my stubborn, selfish attitude, bent on gaining praise & maintaining comfort. He knew where my personal struggles would be.

And YET, He sent Jesus for me. And for YOU.

When I Tested Positive

I know, for me, it’s easy to forget all of this stuff about God’s grace. It’s easy to take for granted this beautiful gift.

And then, when I return from a trip, destined for 2 weeks of required home quarantine before getting covid-19 tested on day 10, only to then test positive & immediately get forced out of my home, away from my husband, into an isolation tower for an extra week… only to arrive at the end of my quarantine, waiting for the call that I am authorized for the release, all packed & ready to head home finally… to be told they made a mistake & decided to keep me ANOTHER EXTRA week in isolation (this time allowing me to actually be with my husband, just unable to ever leave our isolation apartment)…. After ALL of that, I spent my first day of our FOURTH isolation week in a complete feeling of just plain DEFEAT.

I cried before even calling my husband with the news, knowing we would be excited to finally see each other again, but also knowing I was meant to be on my way HOME & able to cook & take care of the both of us without relying on the generous kindness of our friends. (THANK YOU, FRIENDS!!!!)

Defeated

And I did NOT feel gracious. I felt bitter.

I felt defeated.

I stayed in bed most of that first day of my fourth week, having just moved, NOT home, but next door to where my husband was isolated (he tested positive a week after I did), in shock that my “guaranteed” release was really not so guaranteed after all. I felt too defeated to try to pass time pleasantly.

I just wanted to sleep the next week away, sedated, numb, & unaware that I was still STUCK there.

I Knew God Could Help Me… But I Didn’t WANT It

And in those moments of wretched bitterness & just numb lack of care about anything… I knew I could turn to God. I KNEW He could help me.

But I didn’t WANT it. I WANTED to feel bitter & angry, as if this whole mess of a process DESERVED my bitterness.

I wanted to write angry letters & be rude & give them a piece of my mind for tossing about my hope & kicking it to the curb. I was MAD. And TIRED of the whole mess.

My Weaknesses Awaken My Awareness of God’s GRACE

And I knew in my heart that I was behaving with a terrible attitude & refusing God, turning my back on Him in my anger.

And eventually, my heart began to ache in recognizing my own stubborn selfishness. My heart began to recall the lavished grace of God in contrast to me spitting my stubborn anger back at Him.

And God’s GRACE began to trickle into my heart like a shining beacon of HOPE. That even when I deserve it LEAST. Even when I am stubborn & rude. EVEN when I INSIST on a nasty attitude toward someone… And even though God sees it ALL…. There is His grace.

Not I, But CHRIST

He didn’t ask me to prove myself. He didn’t ask me to be perfect first. He didn’t ask me to show a good enough track record. He didn’t even give me a single chance at any of that… because HE HAD ALREADY PAID FOR IT IN FULL.

He didn’t shame me for my shameful behavior, He just whispered His grace into my restless, frustrated heart, reminding my hurting heart of His great love for me in the midst of my aching, pained frustration.

That’s how much He loves me. And YOU.

God Loves Us, Even At Our Worst… & Even Our Worst Enemy

And that’s why He asks us to extend grace, UNDESERVED GRACE, to others, too. Because He wants us to remember that THAT is how much He loves every single human being on earth today, eternity past, & eternity future.

But not only does He GIVE us grace… & not only does He ask us to remember His great love for every person, meaning He wishes US to extend grace to THEM… BUT, He ALSO offers His help to do it.

Guys, this blows my mind.

God’s Love Isn’t Limited by How Much We “Deserve” It

When I am filled with anger & resentment & frustration & I am stubbornly clinging to it, unwilling to relinquish my feelings toward those who wrong or hurt me… I can ASK God to help me give grace.

Because God loves that person, too.

Because God loves me.

God Cares for Us

And sitting in my room, cross-legged on my impossibly hard mattress in my isolation tower for the FOURTH week of isolation from the outside world, hands in my lap, staring blankly at the wall in defeat… I hear that whisper across my heart, “Give them grace, Michelle. And ask Me for help because I will help you do what feels impossible to you right now.”

And after hours of fighting against that whisper, stubbornly wanting to cling to my bitterness… I sigh. I release the wall I was building… And I ask Him to help me get through & to help me be gracious in my frustrating situation.

And He did.

Again… Not I, But Christ

I am by NO means the one you need. I can’t offer you any hope. I am just a person, frail & flawed like you.

But God is higher than me. He is greater than you.

And His love & grace are higher still.

Thank GOD, God’s grace is for EVERYONE.

Even me.

It’s Not About You, But HIM

(“Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain-He washed it white as snow.” Click the link to hear the song & let the beautiful truth of its words wash over you.)

It’s not about the bad or wrong you’ve done… the past you regret or hide… or about any of the negatives you try to justify or cover up in yourself.

It’s not about good you’ve done… the accolades & praise you get… or about anything you try to shine relentlessly to prove yourself.

Jesus Paid It All… All to Him I Owe

It’s about a Man, God in flesh, whose plan ALL ALONG was to provide our rescue & redemption. A free gift bought with His life… that He offered willingly to save you.

It’s about a Man named JESUS CHRIST & how He resurrected after death, claiming victory over both our SIN & the despair of death.

It’s about Jesus offering His nail-pierced hands to us & saying, “For God so loved the world [that means YOU] SO MUCH that He sent [Me-Jesus Christ], His only begotten Son, to die willingly on your behalf (while you were still a sinner) that if you but BELIEVE on Me, you will not live a life of death, but will live life abundantly & with a promise of abundant life everlasting.” (Paraphrase. See John 3:16, Romans 5:8, John 10:10, & Matthew 16:25)

Thank God, God’s Grace Is for Everyone!

This is a call to remember that God’s grace is for everyone.

God’s grace is for me.

God’s grace is for you.

And God’s grace is even for the person(s) you feel are LEAST deserving… Because God loves them, too.

God’s Got Me

Humble yourself before His GREAT love for you. Extend that same great love to others. And ask for God’s help in living for Him, His way, trusting Him EVERY step of the way—even if you get stuck in isolation with Covid for FOUR weeks, to include your birthday & Thanksgiving.

God has a plan. Even in that. And I will yet praise Him because I know He’s got me.

And I will take that deep sigh… & ask God to help me release the bitterness & embrace GRACE.

Shine hope by receiving God’s grace & extending it to others (with God’s help, of course), darling. It’s totally worth it.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Mirage Earrings

With just a touch of glimmer these earrings are fun and easy to wear.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to being sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. Through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for artisans & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Big Feelings

Have you ever been made to feel like your emotions were a bad thing?

Have you ever felt the need to mask how you were feeling for fear of either burdening someone else, making them uncomfortable, or appearing weak & vulnerable & “lame”?

I have.

I am a girl who feels big. I laugh hard just as much as I cry hard.

The doctor called it a minor mood imbalance. I called it annoying.

Feeling Like Nobody Gets Me

You see, not everyone knows what to do with big emotions. Sometimes you notice them widen their eyes as if to say, “Woooow, okay then,” & other times you see them shifting in their seat, as if they are checking for the closest nearby exit.

And still other times, you will maybe have someone tell you to your face that your emotions stress them out or annoy them. (If this is you, as I have definitely wrestled this, when faced with a person whose emotions stress you out, take a moment to pray & ask God to help you know how to face their emotions in a way that is both loving to that person & also honoring to how God would wish you to respond to that person. God will help you as you lean into Him for help.)

Of course, there are still those people who feel right alongside me & make me feel super comfortable in my skin & if you’re one of those people in my life, I appreciate you so much!

Dancing the Dance

To be honest, this “feeling big” even created fears of long-term commitment, sure that someday my future husband would lose the rosy glasses & wake up to see just how annoying I can be. It was a real fear for me.

I have constantly lived the dance of either masking my highs & lows OR trying to overcompensate for them so I don’t lose my appeal in the eyes of others… which PROBABLY explains why I have the potential for great socially awkward moments—you’re welcome.

These big emotions are probably also why I am prone to depression as well as anxiety attacks, where I just shut down & want to avoid the overwhelming fears that threaten to overtake me completely.

God, Help Me Understand

And lately, after years & years of this dance of masking & overcompensating, I am learning to turn to God in this reality that I have so long considered my biggest weakness.

You see, when I feel big HAPPY emotions, I don’t regret it. I LOVE getting to look at the world with childlike wonder & thrill, soaking in the good moments & really getting to appreciate life in such a full, rich way. What a blessing!

BUT, the opposite, facing such big lows, has felt like the bane of my very existence.

Taking My Hurts to God

Recently, on one of my lows, I began praying & begging God to take away the great hurt in my heart that I couldn’t seem to even understand logically why it would be there.

My prayer was something like this:

“God, why? WHY!? Why do I have to feel so terrible sometimes when I shouldn’t even feel this upset? What is wrong with me? YES, I appreciate the highs & getting to just soak up life with joyful tears, swelling with contentment & peaceful happiness, but these lows are terrible! Why do I have to have them? Why did you make me like this? You must have had a reason. Please help me.”

A Gentle Reminder of a Beautiful Blessing

When I finished my plea & outpouring of my heart to God, I felt a gentle reminder wash over my heart that if I had not experienced those lows in my life, I would never have understood my great need for Him at a young age & I would have missed out on the great peace of learning that I have complete HOPE in Him through every situation in life, big or small.

God reminded me gently, in that quiet moment, that it was because of those lows that I have seen my need to draw close to Him & that I have experienced so much growth in my life as a result.

Wow. What a humbling reminder of a beautiful blessing sprouting from the deep & painful lows in my emotions.

Those Lows Drew Me Closer to Jesus

As you can probably guess, it’s hard having lows that seem to knock me off my feet, but WOW, when I think about ALL of the MANY times that those very lows have drawn me close into the arms of Jesus, allowing me to experience more fully His grace, strength, care, love, & gentle peace… I am left in humbled, grateful awe again of our great & loving God.

You see, my emotions aren’t a CURSE. They’re a GIFT.

Thank You, God

They’re His call to my heart that I need to come back to Him so I can more fully experience His great love & care for me.

They’re His sweet reminder that I am but a human, in need of her loving Creator.

They’re His means of growing my heart in assurance, peace, & strength as my heart learns ever more to lean into Him through all waves of life.

They’re a gift.

Emotions Aren’t Evil… They’re Human

Do I still struggle with vulnerability & thus also struggle trying to mask my emotions, making me socially awkward at times? Yes, yes I do.

Do I still wish for comfort & ease sometimes to replace my big emotions? Yes.

Emotions aren’t evil… they’re human.

Expressing Emotions to God & Remembering God in Them

I am reminded again of the Psalms.

My friend commented on Habakkuk & how rich a book it is, like Psalms but so much shorter & she wondered why more people weren’t talking about enjoying it as much as Psalms.

And it hit me. It’s because Psalms has SO MANY chapters of expressing grief, anxiety, loneliness, anger, fear, etc., with all of its BIG emotions, that I relate to it so well & cherish it so much.

And in them all, the author not only expresses the many emotions to God, but also remembers to praise Him, knowing God is above it all & will always have victory in His great love for us.

Learning to Let Others See Me

Now, when I see someone cry in a movie theater, I envy them & their courage to express the feelings they feel rather than feeling the need to keep them hidden inside & faced alone. I want to learn to have this type of courage of trusting others with my own vulnerability.

I am learning that emotions are okay. And they can be a strength as I turn them over to God & allow them to help me always point to my wonderful HOPE in Jesus.

“God, Thank You for Letting Me Be a Woman Who Feels So BIG”

So, as I grow in this acceptance & peace with my emotions, my prayers have shifted.

“God, thank You for letting me feel so big! For letting me see the world through childlike wonder, soaking up life splendidly. But also, thank You for those lows & how well they draw me into Your loving arms. Help me when my emotions threaten me to allow my heart to be real & vulnerable with others. But also, help me to recognize my own frail humanity in them & to remember how awesome & mighty You are in contrast. Help me to praise You in every storm, pointing others to You constantly as my one & only, true, lasting HOPE. Thank You, Lord for Your intelligent design & for ALWAYS having a plan, even when I can’t see it. Thank You for Your patience, gentleness, love & care. I love You. AMEN.”

Facing Big Emotions

Are you anything like me in this–facing big emotions? Have you always struggled with having them? If so, make an effort to turn to God in them & to recognize your own human frailty in contrast to His infinite power & love.

Ask God to help remind you to turn to Him whenever your emotions get “too big” & allow yourself room to feel those emotions as you lean into Him for support & care.

Shine HOPE. He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Peace That Doesn’t Make Sense

A life entrusted to God is full of so many things that don’t make any sense to the logical brain & yet, when tested, are found to be more true than anything we can logically understand.

One of those such things is PEACE.

A verse I have been clinging to lately is about God’s peace, which transcends human understanding.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7) (Emphasis mine.)

Traveling During COVID

You see, I just returned from a 2-month trip stateside to visit family & friends, being careful to social distance every step of the way… But on our return trip, we were placed on a bus full of people that we were required to use in order to re-enter Japan & return home… a bus full of people who had just travelled.

And when I returned home, I noticed that I wasn’t feeling so well.

And, in a world turned upside down by a global pandemic, no one wants to notice themselves “not feeling so well.“

The Progression

I looked up symptoms of this dear covid-19 & realized I had many of them, but not all.

I wasn’t worried. I figured the temperature shock of returning home mixed with dehydration were the culprits. But underneath it all, I knew there could be another explanation for it… one that many around the world feared.

I shared my list of symptoms with my husband & just like that, with no last kiss, no last hug, & no final goodbyes of in-person closure, I was isolated from my best friend… just in case.

Laying on the couch, aches nagging at my body & chills forcing me to shiver despite my layers of warmth, alone & uncertain as to what lay ahead, my husband & I video chatted & decided to take our concerns to God for help.

Asking God for Help

“God, please help us know what to do. Please give us wisdom & peace. Bring healing, please God. … But God, I know it’s so easy to beg You to have everything go back to normal & to help me be comfortable again, but I know that’s not what I really need. I know I need to learn to trust You so that no matter what may come, I will be firm & steady with You as my Rock. That’s what I want, God. Help me trust You like that. Help me to know You’re enough when everything else is falling. And help give us peace. Please give us peace. Amen.”

You see, it was in that moment when we were lifting up our discomfort & budding fears to God that I realized my hope can’t rest in me being okay again… because that will only last until I am not okay next time. I needed something higher than comfort to rest on… SomeONE higher.

Inexplicable Peace

In that moment of shaking with chills, holding a mild fever, aching all over, tossing & turning in my sleep, unable to hold on to warmth… riddled with several other symptoms… I somehow had PEACE.

I felt held.

I felt like come what may, I would be quite okay.

I felt safe & cared for & loved.

I felt PEACE.

And that peace made no sense… it transcended & surpassed my human understanding, because to me, I thought I should be quite worried & concerned & lonely & sad & missing my husband so badly that I could barely stand it in going through all of this alone….

And yet… I felt PEACE.

Finding Comfort in the Uncomfortable

I wasn’t worried about having COVID or not having COVID. I knew that didn’t matter. Either I died & would be happy & whole & dancing in heaven as a result… or God would hold me through the storm.

I wasn’t worried about being alone because I felt held & loved & cared for in a way that didn’t make sense to me.

My good friend asked me what verse I was clinging to & I told her Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus.”

And I told her that when I had moments where I DIDN’T have that peace & the worry or sadness started to creep in & threaten that peace, that it was then I knew that I needed to go back to this verse & say, “God, I need more of Your peace. Help me trust You more than my circumstances or symptoms.”

IN the Uncomfortable… Not Necessarily Overcoming the Uncomfortable

Does this idea of peace in the struggle mean we will never struggle or that all struggle will be taken away when we ask God to do so? Heck no. Just read all the many PSALMS to see David pouring out his angst & sorrow & fears & anger.

There’s a song I heard ages ago that has always stuck with me in hard times, called “Sometimes He Calms the Storm, sung by Scott Krippayne, that touches on the idea that sometimes God calms the storm with a simple whisper of “peace, be still” & that God can settle any storm, but it doesn’t mean He will. But then the lyrics say something so beautiful & true, “Sometimes He calms the storm, & other times He calms His child.”

Emotions Aren’t Evil… They’re Human

Emotions aren’t evil… they’re human. Emotions are just how we process the world around us.

But just like David, we need to remember to take those fears, worries, stresses, anger, loneliness, etc. & ask God to help us through them. Ask for His peace & His victory.

We can always look to God for peace when peace seems impossible.

Not Out of the Woods

Although most of my symptoms have subsided, I realized today that I can’t smell 90% of what I tried to smell in our kitchen, including a ripe onion… & the worry flickered itself again in my heart.

And as I cried softly into my husband’s pillow, letting the worry take bite, I silently asked God to give me courage when I had none & to steady me as I faced uncertainty & to grant me His peace that surpasses my understanding.

My Hope Is in HIM

But then I remembered this post I was in the middle of writing & that with every new worry, every new fear, every new symptom… Even IN the storm… I can ask for God’s peace to carry me through it.

Is it always my first instinct to ask God for help? No. But it is always worth it when I remember to humble myself before my great & loving Almighty God & ask for Him to cover me with His strength in my weakness… to BE my strength when I have none.

Because when I entrust my life to God, there are many things about trusting His way that don’t make any sense to me, like how I can face such uncertainty & discomfort & worry & no cure… & realize that I can find peace… a finding of comfort in the midst of the uncomfortable.

A Peace That Transcends & Surpasses Our Human Understanding, Logic, & Reasoning

That is the beauty of entrusting your life to God… not that everything will turn out just the way you want (because it won’t) & not because nothing will go wrong (because we live in a fallen world & it will), but because when things don’t go your way & when things do go wrong, God is ENOUGH & He is in control & HE ALONE sits on the throne as Eternal, Almighty, Loving, All-Capable, All-Knowing, Infinite, Creator, One-Who-Has-the-Final-Say GOD.

His peace goes beyond ALL of our understanding… beyond all of our logic & reasoning… God’s peace remains.

A Peace That REMAINS

Don’t chase fleeting comforts.

Find sturdy comfort in the uncomfortable.

Find peace that surpasses your understanding… Because you don’t have to understand HOW you can possibly have peace to actually have peace.

You just have to know Who your peace comes from.

Shine HOPE by looking to God for your peace in all circumstances.

He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternal Pearl Set

Delicate freshwater pearls make each of these classic pieces perfect for every occasion.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, adult literacy programs, & self-help groups! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!