Blinders

We often go through life never questioning what we see & do every day, not even aware that there could be any other way… because it’s simply what we’ve always “known” to be true….

But God tells us NOT to trust what we see, but instead to trust HIM & His Truth (the Bible)—& that’s what my recent pivotal moments series was all about—seeing that God knows more than I do, corresponding with major perspective shifts of trusting His way over my own.

“Blessed Are the Poor in Spirit”

For example, the Bible says, in Matthew 5 “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” NOT “blessed are those who beat up on themselves inwardly, are shy, self-deprecating….” But rather, “Blessed are those who recognize their own depravity, that there is absolutely NOTHING they can do to earn their own redemption, but that Jesus Christ Himself paid their debt FOR them (IN FULL) & now all they have to do is lean into HIM for hope, versus STRAINING & FAKING to try to be good enough on their own, ever failing at those efforts, because Christ already paid IN FULL!”

It seems impossible to feel blessed in recognizing our own depravity & owning up to it… but in it comes so much richness of freedom when we replace our tireless efforts with God’s heroic rescue & love for our souls, giving healing, peace, strength, renewal, a fresh start, & eternal redemption in exchange for us placing our hope in Him.

I’ve Got This!

My whole life, I wanted (& still often want) to feel capable & assured in & of myself. I mean, who doesn’t?

It feels safe & comfortable & “reliable” to feel like our security, peace, & hope can be produced by us, rather than taking the risk of relying on others for it.

We always hear slogans centered on the idea that we can make our dream a reality, that it’s up to us…. That we are “good enough”.

But somehow, those ideas, reassuringly soothing as they may sound on the surface, always seem to fall short when brought into reality.

Why? Because we all know, deep down, that we will fail even ourselves.

We know we are NOT enough.

And there is freedom & blessedness in coming to that realization… when we also realize that God IS enough FOR us.

God As Our Hope

We don’t have to produce our own hope. God is our hope, through Christ.

We have all been let down. We have all experienced the mistakes & failures of others (as well as the let downs of our own failures & mistakes).

A lot of trauma can come from someone else’s “good intentions” when those good intentions went wrong because they were based on human understanding/logic versus yielding in submission to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, through prayer.

It’s just life. It’s just us doing the best we know.

But blessedness comes in knowing that God is in control, not us & not anyone else… & even more so in recognizing that we cannot save ourselves, but He can.

Not a Jab at You, But a RELIEF

Submitting to that Truth brings such relief. It takes the pressure off of our own shoulders to always be enough for ourselves & for everyone else (including God), & allows us the breathing space to accept that we were never meant to be enough… that God is already enough FOR US & that’s the very reason that the hope found in Jesus is so liberating!

Keep Reminding Yourself

Take a deep breath, Lovely, & let it out slowly.

Do it again. Take a deep breath… & let it out slowly.

Close your eyes & tell yourself, “I don’t have to be “enough” because God is enough FOR ME. He paid my debt to set me free. He offers HIS comfort, HIS strength, HIS power, HIS wisdom, HIS guidance, HIS HOPE. I don’t have to be enough. He is enough already & always will be.”

Release yourself from the lies we grew up believing & trust God as your path to hope, through Christ’s sacrifice for you.

Magnify the Magnificent with Your Life

Should we strive to live in a way that magnifies His name & demonstrates His love for this hurting world? Yes. Does it secure our salvation or earn us God’s love? No. We already have that if we have put our trust in Jesus.

So, find blessedness in your depravity today & every day.

You’re Right… I’m Not Enough… But God Is, & That’s Why I Need Him

And when Satan tries to tell you, “Give up! You’re never good enough! You always fail everybody! You are not enough!”

Well then, sister, you stand up tall, square your shoulders & you remind him & yourself, by saying, “You’re right. I am not enough. I am frail & I mess up often, but you know what… I was never meant to be enough. That is why I need Jesus’ sacrifice, God’s grace, & the help of the Holy Spirit. He is enough FOR ME. So, you’re right, Satan, I am not enough… but that’s okay because Jesus is!”

I heard that scenario on the radio one day as someone retold this realization & turning point in their life from letting Satan beat him up in his failures to claiming Jesus’ victory & it always stuck with me.

“You’re right, Satan. I’m not enough. But Jesus is, & that is the exact reason why I need Him.”

And He is enough for you, too.

Accept Your Depravity… Knowing Your Hope Is in Jesus

So, cling to Him. Accept your depravity. Don’t beat yourself up because you were never meant to be enough.

And, above all, trust in the enoughness of God Almighty, Jesus our Redeemer, & the wisdom, comfort, strength, & guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Learn to rely on yourself less & on Him more & more every day.

Because that, Lovely, is where you find your blessedness.

Shine Hope In Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Digging Deeper

A few weeks ago, I talked about the topic “He Can Take Our Nothing & Make It a Masterpiece-His Gifting, Not Mine,” to show, for one, that when we put our faith in Jesus as Lord of our life & Redeemer for our wrongs, God in turn equips us to serve Him by giving us specific spiritual gifts.

Am I an expert on spiritual gifts? Haha, definitely not. Have I learned SOME things? Yes. So, hopefully the “some” I have learned is of help or encouragement to you.

(Again, these won’t apply to you if you have not already accepted to trust Jesus to cover your sins & redeem your life. See my “Hope Is Found” page to learn more.)

What Having a Spiritual Gift Does/Does NOT Mean

I would like to share some about my spiritual gift today, but I think it is important to address a few things with spiritual gifting before I share about my particular gifting:

1. We do not automatically become “good at” our gifting just because we are given that gifting.
2. God can still use our gifting, even when we’re “bad at it” just by our being responsive & obedient to His leading.
3. Having a gift does not guarantee that it will be used in submission to God’s will, versus our own.
4. We may not even recognize what our spiritual gifting is right away.
5. With my particular gift especially, it does NOT mean I know everything &/or that I can answer any & everything you ask. If God does not give me insight, I have as much to go on as you do in most cases.
6. And sometimes, you are too embarrassed to even TALK about your spiritual gift to others because some are so easily misunderstood and/or mocked.

“Mhm, Yeah, Sure”

When people hear about my spiritual gift, for example, people often tend to think one or more of a few different things, or all of them…

1. “Oh, she thinks she can tell us our future then? *scoff*”
2. “So, she is comparing herself to the great people in the Bible, like Paul? Who does she think she is? She can’t even come close! How arrogant & self-righteous….”
3. “*sarcasm* Oh, the wise ol Michelle who is trying to tell me that she is gifted by God to tell me what to do. Aka a real know-it-all.”

I am not saying people will actually SAY those things out loud, of course (although they sometimes do), but before I understood anything about my gifting, I definitely would have discreetly rolled my eyes & probably thought ALL of those things if someone had told me they had the gift I now know I was given.

Out With It, Then!

So, what is my gift then? (If you haven’t already guessed from the title.)

*Deep breath*

Prophecy. Yep, that’s right… prophecy….

Now go ahead & read back that 3-point list & tell me if any of those thoughts instantly rolled across your mind…. Trust me, they ran across mine.

There may be some of you who are thinking right now, “Well, I WAS getting encouragement from her posts before, but if she is going to claim herself as a “Prophet of God,” well, I’m done reading HER stuff! Good-BYE!!”

I get it. Trust me, I SOOO get it. I am quick to do the very same thing. How hypocritcal, I know. Because some people, if they DO actually have that gifting can easily place THEMSELVES on the pedestal, instead of using their gifting to point back to GOD ON HIS THRONE.

“I Didn’t Realize Michelle Was So Full of Herself…” But WAIT!

It sounds like I am making a pretty, shiny badge for myself, pinning it on my shirt, placing a tiara on the top of my head, & yelling, “Hey everyone! Listen to me! Don’t you know I’m a PROPHET of GOD!?”

But, I am not doing that. Instead, it is more like an under my breath, head tilted away slightly to muffle my voice, with a very tiny whisper, “yeah, so I kind of have the gift of prophesy. Please don’t think I’m crazy & please still be my friend.”

I accepted trust in Jesus at a very young age (5 years old) & was then given my gifting, so this has almost been a lifelong gifting in my life, but since people tend to roll their eyes at it & act like the gift of prophecy is a thing of the past, I was completely unaware most of my life that this was even a possible gift, let alone MY personal gift.

I didn’t even get a notion of the idea until around 2007, when I was about 24 years old! 19 years of wondering why I felt so different from everyone else around me & thinking it was something to hide & be embarrassed about… & a thing that made people frustrated with me, even as a child.

Getting Clarity

But, it’s not like what people think, for the most part.

I cannot predict the future on a whim & I am not as faithful & wise as Paul& so many others that have come before me & I will probably never even come close (although their gifting was from God, too, like all of ours, so technically that’s really up to God & not me, so saying I will never meet that level of “success?” is actually a hit at God & not me, but anyway….)

So, what does it mean to have the gift of Prophesy then?

Basically, “speaking forth truth.” Or, as the web dictionary put it, “a person regarded as an inspired teacher or proclaimer of the will of God.”

Again, I just want to reiterate that I MAKE MISTAKES & I am NOT infallible. If God does not reveal insight then my guess is as good as yours, unless I have been through it or had personal experience or whatnot, but otherwise, I am not all-knowing nor will EVER claim to be so.

Why Then, the Shame?

So, why does it make me feel so ashamed to claim this GOD-GIVEN gift of Prophesy?

I did not choose it. I did not EARN it. I am no more faithful than anyone else.

So, why ME?

And if I did not choose it or earn it or gain it for being more faithful than others… If it is therefore REALLY, SIMPLY a GIFT from GOD… then why am I so ashamed to speak of it?

Maybe partly because of how easily using my gift can rub people the wrong way when I just want to be liked AND use my gift.

And maybe also because people just don’t believe it’s a real gift in modern times or they misunderstand me. I have been told that claiming that gift sounds conceited or “full of myself.” I don’t always have time to or know how to help people understand before they have written me off as blasphemous or crazy or arrogant or deluded or all of the above.

God-Given, Even When…

The post I mentioned at the beginning of today’s post was written to show just how miserably UNDESERVING I am… How, even at my worst, God still works through the gifting HE gave me.

You see, I have the gifting, even when I…

… Choose to keep silent

… Get proud of it

… Feel ashamed of it

… Fail God miserably

… Am unfaithful to God

… Use it to be snooty or sinful (See examples of lesser known prophets who used their gifting for financial gain & for personal glory, versus giving GOD the credit & glory.)

The gift is just… there… a part of me.

Does He multiply our efforts when we seek to be obedient & to submit to His leading in using our gifting to honor Him & bring Him glory? Most definitely.

Does He use that gifting in us DESPITE us? Most definitely.

A Heavy Burden to Bear, But Also A Magnificent Gift

And although I feel blessed to have insight on how to grow closer to God in submitting more of my trust to Him, my gifting is sometimes a VERY heavy burden to bear.

In fact, I used to pray to have it taken away because I much prefer to have everyone like me than for them to think me as a pretentious know-it-all who stirs conviction for change in their hearts when I speak. (*And I don’t always enjoy the constant convictions, either. Blissful ignorance, anyone?)

People like comfortable. I like comfortable.

The gift of prophesy is the OPPOSITE of comfortable… in fact, at its core the gift of prophesy is about stirring up DISCOMFORT in staying where we’re at spiritually in hopes of continuing to grow more in likeness to Christ & submission to the will of God & in following the leading/wisdom of the Holy Spirit.

That, my friend, is not usually comfortable.

No Blissful Ignorance for Me

Imagine seeing conviction in almost EVERYTHING your whole life.

When someone talks to you about something & you automatically see the will of God spill over your mind involuntarily, showing you the truth behind the words & sometimes you just want to say, “No. Nope. I’m not listening, gifting, I’m not listening to you! I want them to like me!”

My gifting prompted much of my desire for rebellion growing up & at the same time, kept me from indulging in it most always, leaving me wishing I could just be a “normal teenager & not feel so torn up all the time about every little decision & the intent behind it.”

A Boy-Crazy Daydreamer… But, NOPE

For example, in high school I wanted to date whoever, for as long as I want &  just soak up all the attention & relish in affection of boyfriends & the status of being someone’s “girlfriend”, rather than being a short 1-2 weeks in before the prophecy gift insight starts flooding over every bit of enjoyment I was getting from the relationship, allowing me to enjoy nothing, with, “You know you’re using him. You are enjoying the attention & you are in this not for the two of you but because you want to be loved. You are using him to feel valued. You need to be honest with yourself & with him. You need to learn to draw your value from your Creator, not this boy. You need to care more about him as a person than what you can get out from him. He matters to God. Don’t take this lightly. He is not an object to take advantage of just so you feel better about yourself.”

Uggghhh, NOT what a teenage daydreamer/boy crazy girl wants to hear!

Don’t get me wrong, it kept me out of a lot of regrets & hurts, but back then, I just wanted to enjoy what seemed so easy for everyone else to enjoy.

It Definitely Doesn’t Win Me Any Popularity Contests

Having my gift means I can’t live in blissful ignorance. I can’t just be comfortable. At times, I see what needs to change in everything all the time & it can be overwhelmingly tough to swallow sometimes, especially when I was just a child figuring out life. (But difficult does not mean it was bad or unappreciated because it definitely kept me from many regrets.)

People who know me either lean into it & hope to clear out the junk to grow closer to God or they tend to want to plug their ears & ask me to please stop talking.

And it hurts. I can’t deny that it hurts sometimes. Because I want to be liked & accepted by everyone & my gifting is not always received with open arms.

Sometimes I get verbally smacked in the face, even when I speak with gentleness & care for them, intending ONLY to help them see what is clogging their loving relationship to Christ… what is chaining them back from feeling free & loved in Him.

It rubs people the wrong way when you can (even gently) see through their excuses & past their blinders to what God wants them to see.

And I get it. I GET IT. I am the SAME way.

I Am Not Immune to the Allure of Excuses or the Temptation of Legalism (Buying God’s Affections with My Works)

Sometimes I just want to be blissfully ignorant & do whatever I want without thinking through every reason why it means I am being rebellious to God or how I am making excuses.

Having my gift doesn’t mean I am automatically faithful to listen to my own God-given insight.

I have to wrestle with the insight a lot & it sometimes takes me years of wrestling with it until I finally submit & reap the rewards of what God only meant for my good all along, but I was too stubborn to notice or care.

I used to really struggle with legalism because I thought my insight & burden meant I had to maintain perfection or that I was better than other Christians, thus “earning” my gift.

It doesn’t.

I am learning balance.

A Process of Growth, Led by God, If I Am Willing to Listen

But it’s a process. All of it is a process of learning… A process of letting the convictions come & leaning into God, versus plugging my ears & pulling away, & instead, saying, “Oh, God, I am not good at that one either! Please help me grow in that area in your timing & show me where I can reasonably start working on it soon. You are the author of my growth, so please help me trust You in the process versus putting all the burden on myself.”

He Wants to Help Us-For Real

Because really, the convictions are His way of saying, “Hey, you’re hurting because you’re clinging to something that can’t help you, expecting it to help you. Let go & let me help you for real.”

The convictions from God are meant for our GOOD, even though they can be SO uncomfortable to recognize & face.

My gift was given to me & others because people NEED to know what a relationship with Him is MEANT to be like. Where you feel safe & comforted & free & healed & loved so purely & so deeply & so undeservedly.

My gifting is meant to help people see what is coming between them & that sort of relationship with God… To help guide them to let go of what can’t help them for Who CAN help them. My gifting is meant to bring people to HIM as the true source of LIFE & LOVE & HOPE & GRACE.

Again… His Gifting, Not Mine

I don’t want to be silent about my gifting anymore. I don’t want to be ashamed of how God made me. Because He made me this way for a purpose… to help cut through the lies we so easily tell ourselves & to point people back to HIM.

God gave it to me. Not because I am better or more faithful than others (far from it), but because He CHOSE to be working through my life in that way to reach others with HOPE… TRUE, lasting HOPE in Him.

Please, Never… For His Glory, Not Mine

I never want to be one that gives the impression of, “Hear Me, Hear Me, all you puny peoples of the earth. I am a PROPHET & I deserve to be listened to & respected & heeded in all advice or insight I give you!”

FAR FROM IT.

If God chooses to give me insight into something, I will do my best to honor Him with that insight in prayers that His wisdom sent to my heart/brain & printed on these pages can bring others closer to HIM, not me.

I will fail you. I will. I am human.

But God does not fail. EVER.

Lean into Potential Growth by Praying to Accept it, Versus Shoving It Away

If something I write offends you, please don’t get mad at me or write me off (I still want to be friends). And don’t for a second think I am judging you. (Just because I get the insight doesn’t mean I always am quick to obey its truth.) But PRAY & ask God how He can shape you in that area to honor Him & to know & love Him more through the journey, holding nothing back from Him, even if the realization hurts a little at first… the growth in Him is totally worth it, trust me.

We’re in this journey together, as fellow gift-bearers. I benefit from you honoring God with your gifting, & hopefully you will benefit from what God uses my gifting for in your life.

By Him. Through Him. FOR Him.

To point others back TO Him.

He Is What We ALL Need

He is what you need. He is what we ALL need. So, seek Him with all of your heart, mind, soul, & strength. He is worth it every time.

Shine Hope, Lovely, & start by praying over what your gift is & how He wants you to use it for His honor & glory, to draw others to the HOPE found only in Him. And if you don’t know His hope personally, ask Him for that first, above anything else. It will change your life forever. It will GIVE you life.

Shine HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Wisdom Necklace

Intricately handcrafted petals carved from ethically collected bone set in golden frames.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, adult literacy programs, & self-help groups! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Intentional Gift-Getting (& Receiving)

Are you wanting to be intentional in your gift giving (or receiving) this year, but are struggling on where to start?

For me, I definitely enjoy getting fun gifts like movies or art supplies, but I also find myself wanting some things that I will carry with me through life… things that have a lasting impact on my faith & growth. And also things that I can enjoy that will also bless others.

Just a Few of My Favorite Things

So, I have compiled a list of some things I am asking for Christmas this year & things I have enjoyed in the past.

I hope they are an encouragement to you & that they make shopping this year just a little easier (& more impactful on your life).

Journal Bible

As you grow in your journey of learning to follow after Christ & submit to His ways over your own, it is such an amazing gift to be able to jot down lessons learned as you grow & to come across them later in life, seeing where God has brought you from & all of which He is capable.

For me, I like to write down these nuggets in the margins, next to the verses, so as I read through my Bible each year, I can visibly see the memorials of God’s work in my life each year.

Such a sweet reminder of all God has accomplished in our lives & all He is capable of doing with the mess we so easily tend to make of it. He is a good God!

There are many versions available, but this is the one I am going to try.

Also, a good set of pens that won’t bleed through! Check online for reviews.

(*Bonus: I have heard of mothers buying journal Bibles & using it to read through the Bible in a year, making notes & underlining things that are impactful and/or encouraging to them, & then gifting it to each of their children as they complete each one. How special!)

Bible Studies/Devotionals

While it is super important to be reading God’s Word, the Bible, in its entirety, so you know the fullness of context & God’s character & love displayed to us… there is also some value in learning from the experiences & learning of others.

Keep in mind that authors are human & can make mistakes. While learning from what they have learned, it is vitally important to check every word they speak against God’s Word & prayer. The opposite is also true, that although they may fail or make mistakes, due to their being only human, it does not mean we cannot learn from them in the area of their strengths, again through checking it to Scripture.

Here are a few which have left a lasting impact on my life:

Authentic Beauty, by Leslie Ludy: While not technically a Bible Study, there is an available printable on her website that allows you to work through areas you have been holding back from God (which she may have made available on Amazon, as a Study Guide?), to allow you freedom from what keeps you chained. The devil is crafty in convincing us we’re fin where we’re at, but wisdom knows there is always room to grow. This is a great tool.

True Woman 101:Divine Design, by Mary Kassian & Nancy Leigh DeMoss: This study was so encouraging to me, as it reinforced a biblical view of womanhood… not swinging so far as to say, “stay in the kitchen,” while also not pendulum swinging the opposite direction to say, “you are a woman & you can do whatever you want!” There is a balance in God’s will & way… There is a season for everything under the sun… Wisdom says to lean into God for that balance & direction.

Lies Women Believe & The Truth That Sets Them Free, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss: It is so easy to believe the lies that have been established in this world before our birth. It seems natural & normal to us, but ends up being a distortion still of the way God designed & intended it to be. Wisdom doesn’t take for granted what human “wisdom” & understanding has to offer, but rather seeks to distinguish the lies they have built into their subconscious to see the freedom in the Truth that God offers us in its place. This book is a great starting point. (There are many versions available, including one for young women & one written by her now husband, for men.)

Andrew Murray on Prayer, by Andrew Murray: (Again, not a personal study, but SO WORTH THE READ.) (This is a collection of his works, translated into English… you may only be able to find individual works written by him, but Abide in Christ is a great one!)

This one is a GEM. We are (or at least I was) often taught all of the commands of God & what He asks of us, trapping us in an ever-failing hamster wheel of trying to be good enough to please God. God never meant it to work this way. Andrew Murray walks us through the HOW to accomplish these things, not just WHAT we are supposed to accomplish. The HOW is leaning into God for help in even accomplishing what He asks of us, versus relying on sheer willpower. God is able to help us, even in walking for Him.

I am sure there are many more studies I could list here, but for brevity’s sake, I will keep it to those few for now.

Bible Coaching

Sometimes it helps to work alongside someone who works to understand God’s Word with a passion. Even having an accountability partner or group of women to keep you accountable & to learn from/encourage.

One that I am going to hopefully learn from this next year is Katie Orr.

While I have not done one of her studies, even following her on Facebook has been an encouragement to me & she doesn’t charge a lot, just $75 for an annual pass right now… enough to allow her to continue spending time pouring into others.

Trades of Hope

Of course, I couldn’t get through a GIFT GUIDE without mentioning this wonderful company.

Everything from jewelry to scarves to handbags to home décor to seasonal Christmas items… ALL of it is handcrafted & fair trade certified.

Each item is made by a woman artisan around the world, striving to work toward a brighter tomorrow for herself & her family.

Many women around the world are treated poorly & receive unfair pay & unfair hours. Many are forced to beg or begin prostitution just to put food on their tables. (Les Misérables is a sad, sickening visualization of this reality for many women.)

The artisan groups in their areas are striving to change the tide for women in impoverished areas, so that they don’t have to rely on handouts, but can themselves be taught & learn a trade & gain an education to end the cycle of poverty for their families & their communities.

Shop their beautiful pieces & be inspired as your gifts offer the great gift of HOPE to the women you support in doing so.

Willow Tree Nativity

(*Pictured on the Cover Photo of today’s post!)

I love these pieces & asked for a few to add each year from family. It took a few years, but I love the final display… PLUS, it’s a wonderful reminder of my family as almost all pitched in with a piece. I love how humble & serene these are, don’t you?

Happy Holiday Season to You & Yours!

I hope you enjoyed my quick gift guide this year! These resources have been a blessing to me, so I hope they bless you & yours, in turn.

God is such a wonderful Father & this season of gratefulness & remembering His birth & the beginning of our resurrection story are both such wonderful opportunities to reflect on all of His love for us. His patience, His wisdom, His love, His intimate knowledge of us as an individual, His grace, His strength, His power. He is a Good, Good Father.

Shine hope, sisters, Shine HOPE. <3

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Grace Earrings

These earrings feature gold plated metal around local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Being Gracious When They Ask

Have you ever been in a situation where you had to explain yourselves countless times & just got tired of doing so?

Now, I understand the value of being gracious to others, knowing that when they ask questions, it is not necessarily to mock or judge me, but rather because they lack understanding & want to better understand the situation. And, to better understand, they must ask someone who knows more than they do.

But Sometimes I Just Don’t Feel Up to It…

But, sometimes, as the explainer, I just don’t always feel up to the task.

Sometimes it’s hard to rehash something you’d rather forget was so different & in need of explaining.

Other times, you are struggling to make sense of it yourself.

I understand the value of patience & understanding, offering grace to those who may not know about my situation, but sometimes it’s hard to see past my own struggle.

Such is the case with my situation.

Sometimes I perk up at the opportunity to bless someone with a new & fresh perspective, & other times I just want to slowly, quietly back away & hope that they forgot I was even talking to them.

Our Planning Can Sometimes Make Us Expect Our Way Versus God’s Way

I think it is common to take for granted the “plan” for life that society has so ingrained in us. Grow up… Get married… Have babies… Become grandparents… etc.

Not to say there is anything wrong with that plan, except for the fact that we are determining what God’s plan should be for us & the fact that it seems to uproot us when we realize our plan might not actually be GOD’S plan for our lives.

I am currently thinking of the verses in James 4:13-15, “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such & such a city, spend a year there, buy & sell, & make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time & then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live & do this or that.”

It’s Not Wrong to Make Plans, But Bow Them to God’s Will

It’s not wrong to set goals & plans, but we need to be willing to trust that whatever God’s plan is, is much better than ours & I think a lot of life’s disappointments stem from coming up with a way of life that seems right to us, only to find out God has other plans for our life purpose.

BUT, that’s not to say His plan will be easy to accept or easier than our plan… just BETTER.

Here Stems My Struggle

BUT, the catch to that, is we will miss out on so much of the blessing God intends in His BETTER by focusing on how much it doesn’t match the plan we have meticulously mapped out for ourselves—which can lead to much bitterness (trust me, I know from experience. I’m not always good at relinquishing my ideals for His perfect will.)

I’m good at (bad at?) thinking I know better. *sigh* I am a work in progress.

It Gets Personal

My husband & I always assumed we would have kids one day. Sure, I was terrified at first, & then he was when he felt the fuller weight of responsibility, but eventually we turned those fears to God’s care & welcomed God to bring a child into our lives with ready anticipation & excitement… for the next 6.5 years now.

Even after both of us being checked by the doctors & being told we were both in prime baby-making condition… Still, no baby.

Even after we prayed for many years… Still, no baby.

(Let me clarify that babies still sort of terrify me & I am not one to coo & jump at the opportunity to hold a baby, (sorry, mamas!) but I want a larger family… memories of family game nights & cooking together & caring for them & guiding my children to be lights in the world for HOPE in Jesus.)

BUT, it seems to be this is not God’s will for us now, if ever... & that was a hard reality to swallow.

Reasoning the Pain Away, Versus Leaning into God for Comfort & Wisdom

As I had mentioned in a previous blog post (here), although it was easy to convince myself why it’s so hard to be a parent & that I am blessed to be able to travel more readily, I learned that it was my way of trusting my reasoning more than leaning in to trust God with it.

And when I strip those reasonings away, I am left with seeing other families make those memories that I don’t get to make & feeling the threat of tears burning in the corners of my eyes. Because trusting in my own reasoning doesn’t actually help me erase the emotions behind the longing.

And sometimes, yes, I get tired explaining the complexity of it all & I just don’t want to explain my heart & my thoughts & everything in between.

I am just human. I don’t have all the answers to the ‘why’s’.

I am also not 100% faithful in trusting God’s plan.

Sometimes I want my plan instead.

The Joy

But I know that joy comes only when I am willing to understand that God is all-knowing & I am not. He knows me far better than I do myself because He created me. He KNOWS me. Joy comes in knowing that He wants good for me, & not harm. Joy comes in trusting Him more than I do myself.

But it took me a long time to get to that place with this subject (& I still struggle sometimes).

My Dreams

I mentioned before that ever since I read Authentic Beauty, by Leslie Ludy, back in 2006 or so, that I dreamed of reaching out to women with HOPE–Middle School girls, High School girls, College ladies, Moms, & women in general. (I even dreamed of, but never saw possible, the idea of running my own website where women could seek hope without judgment—my how God has answered THAT!!)

Well, taking that fact of having a passion to encourage & lead women with hope as the prequal, now enter my bitterness that I harbored for many years over a lack of a baby.

How do those two things work together? The dream… & the bitterness of no children?

Spiritual Fruitfulness

Last year, a Bible Study group I attended worked through a Beth Moore study called Breaking Free. One of the chapters was on “being fruitful.”

You can probably feel me tensing up then, after reading that day’s topic.

But to my surprise, it was not a chapter on the joys of motherhood & why every woman should want to have children because they are blessings from God.

This chapter was on spiritual fruitfulness & talked about the importance of replicating the hope & joy we have in Jesus around the world & to those around us.

God Fitting the Pieces Together Perfectly

Wow. Was that a humility check for me, because Beth Moore mentioned the little verse in Isaiah 54:1 that I had passed by so easily many times before, “Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord.”

And the same lines are repeated in Galatians 4:27.

With all of the many verses about the joys of parenthood & that children are God’s blessings to us, He does not neglect the longing, sad hearts of those like me, who can’t seem to have children.

He makes a point to tell us to “burst into song” & to “shout for joy” & to show us that He has not forgotten nor forsaken us in His “No.”

Mothers Pour Mostly into THEIR Children, But Barren Women Can Pour into the Lives of MANY MORE

Beth Moore’s point, in that chapter, was that women who are mothers have the responsibility to pour into their children, care for them, discipline them, & guide them in how to seek & follow after Jesus Christ.

But, women who are barren (or, childless, in my case), have the opportunity to “be fruitful in their faith” on a MUCH larger scale by either pouring into the lives of all children they are blessed to interact with, or by pouring into mothers so that those mothers are encouraged & edified to then pour into THEIR children.

Always Look to God’s Plan & Ask Him for It!

You see, when I keep my eyes on GOD’S PLAN over my own, I am opened up to see the bigger picture. I am opened up to the FACT that God has not forgotten me & that He has a greater plan for me than I have for myself. I am opened up to release my bitterness & embrace JOY.

Is it possible that He will still choose to give me children in some way? Yes.

Do I still look at the back of board game boxes & feel a tinge of sadness at the smiling faces of that laughing family depicted there? Yes.

But does God comfort & strengthen & re-focus me as I lean into Him in it? Most definitely YES.

God Knows You & God Knows Best… Always

But, in the meantime (& if that time never comes), I should strive to see God’s whole picture… That yes, I may never be blessed with children of my own, but I can use that childless time to pour into the hearts of other women so that they, in turn, can pour into the lives of their children.

God has not deprived me of my dream to be fruitful. He has opened the door for me to see my dream realized on a larger scale.

Taking me from 2006 in wanting to be an intentional light in the world & to pour into the lives of other females, to now, in learning of that unique opportunity I have been given in not being blessed with children of my own.

Taking me from my 2006 dream of running a website, where ladies could come & seek answers about hope in Christ anonymously & without judgment of peers or parents, to running my own website & blog & Facebook community, starting in 2018. Wow!

Show Grace… Even to Yourself…

I feel blessed. I feel sad sometimes. And it’s okay to have both. God is capable of filling in my gaps.

Show grace to others who may not understand your situation. Take time to educate them so they may be more sensitive to others who do not share their circumstances.

Show grace to others who DON’T WANT (or feel too exhausted or overwhelmed) to share their own situation which is different than yours. Sometimes it’s hard to explain & other times it is just plain hard. Give grace.

And show grace to yourself. You’re not meant to understand it all, but God does, so lean into Him. And when you’re just too tired to explain yourself for the hundredth time, don’t take it out on the hundredth person to ask. Take a deep breath & be polite & patient & be praying… either say, “can we talk about this another time?” or “I understand that you want to understand this, but I am not up to explaining it right now, please excuse me.” Or, ask God for the patience & calm to sit down with them & talk them through it & answer their questions.

God’s got you, so let Him shine hope through you. He never fails. Lean into Him & above all, trust Him more than you do yourself. It’s worth it one hundred percent of the time, always.

Coming Next Week

*Check back THIS Thursday for October’s SPECIAL FEATURE post!*

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Turning Leaf Set

This silver finish hammered metal necklace with matching earrings was inspired by the beautiful shapes of leaves (& look like dragonfly wings). *Matching Earrings not pictured, but included in set.*

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Closing a Series, But God Is Always At Work

Well, this is it, the final week of our Pivot moments for this series.

I am sure God will continue to flip my world upside down to exchange the lies I have come to believe for His truth, but for the sake of this series of pivotal moments, this is the last… for now.

God Is Working a Masterpiece

Today, it will get dark again, before the light shines through the clouds, revealing a marvelous plan that God had all along, but that I just then began to realize was there.

That’s how it always works with God.

We tend to fret & stress & worry & fear, as if God doesn’t already have a plan to fit all of the pieces together, making a breath-taking masterpiece out of the messy “colors” we saw as chaos.

AND, He doesn’t leave it at that… He offers us comfort & peace & strength to endure the hardships that lead up to that marvelous reveal, as we lean into Him for it.

And that is how He worked as He led me through my struggles in both Guam AND Hokkaido.

God Was Working a Plan I Didn’t See

God was working a plan to show Himself to me in a way that I needed to see.

He needed me to learn that my gifting was simply His way of working through my life & had little to do with how much I may or may not have deserved it.

The Ugly Pride

First, I feel it important to let you in on the fact that I struggled (& still do struggle) with pride because of my gifting from God.

Because certain things oftentimes seem so obvious & easy to me, to see deeper insight into a situation to know God’s truth & how it needs to be applied or how someone is avoiding God’s truth in a certain area… I began to believe that it must be that I care more about God & truth than others.

I know, I know… it sounds arrogant just reading that.

But although I didn’t think of it as pride, but more that I felt alone in wanting to serve the truth, it just wasn’t true that my gifting was equal to my personal deserving of it.

An Undeserved Gift

My gifting was simply what it sounds like… a gift… from God. Did it make me more perceptive than some others? Perhaps. But I still had weaknesses where others had great strengths.

This particular area just happened to be MY strength, leaving me to need help from others with DIFFERENT strengths… the whole “body of Christ”/”body of the Church” idea. All of our strengths (“giftings”) WORK TOGETHER & are GIFTS from God—not earned or deserved.

Obviously, the more obedient & trusting we are to God, the more He will choose to work in & through our gifting, but the gifting itself is… just a GIFT.

All that to say, I obviously needed both a lesson in humility & a lesson in it being from HIM & not me.

Walking through the Valley

And to accomplish this pivot in my life, God chose to allow me to walk through hardship… namely, loneliness in Guam & a life of strain, where I had very little control, living in Japan, in an area with VERY LITTLE English.

Living in those two places brought me to a place of feeling like very little that I accomplished had anything to do with what I had earned or deserved.

I was mainly just trying to get through to the next day, only sometimes remembering to pray for the strength & peace & wisdom & guidance to navigate each day & instead, relying on television show marathons & food to get me through it.

And it got worse.

Starting to Have “The Talk”-About Depression & Potential Cries for Help

Near the end of those six years, I had to start having a lot of conversations with Jamie about my history with depression & that if it got bad enough, slipping by unnoticed until it consumed me, & if I admitted that to him & asked for help, that he needed to get me emergency help.

Luckily, it never reached emergency status, but I guess in a way it did.

Over time, in Hokkaido, the mental strain & stress of never understanding (pretty much anything) of the world around me began to take a serious toll on my mind.

I began having emotional breakdowns over the smallest things.

I felt BROKEN, like a person who couldn’t function like a normal human being.

Paper-Thin Patience

To better express the strain… if I dropped an item once, even a small, slip-through-my-fingers drop… it required a deep breath of resolve to just pick it back up…. But a second drop? The item would get picked up with lightning speed & chucked at the nearest wall.

Patience was worn thin every moment. I had zero patience.

I crumbled at the slightest aggravation or inconvenience.

I cried or screamed or cursed so loud that I didn’t care if the whole world heard.

And I felt broken.

Broken

I understood this wasn’t normal. I understood that the average human being can manage to pick something up that had dropped just twice without feeling hatred explode out of her.

But I couldn’t stop it. I felt like something in me had short-circuited & I could no longer filter frustrations through logic & calm reserve to try again.

I just immediately would snap, without even considering it first or thinking it through.

It scared me how little control I had over my own brain & how it reacted to even minor difficulties.

And yet, through all of that, I felt God’s hand on me… as if He was reassuring me that He wouldn’t let go… that He had me still.

God Wasn’t Answering MY Way, So I Felt Forgotten

But I eventually stopped praying.

I felt deserted by God because the pain only got worse & the control over my own emotions melted slowly away.

I was trapped in a mental typhoon that swirled everything together & knocked all sense out of my life.

I was exhausted & frustrated. I felt broken & no longer whole or “normal” & I saw ZERO way to repair or fix it.

Every attempt seemed to laugh at me.

My prayers went “unanswered.”

Bitterness grew into an angry, snarling, jaded voice that screamed for relief at every corner.

Streaming Curse Words

I saw God walking beside me, in a sense, feeling Him there… but He wasn’t making all the pain stop. He wasn’t repairing my mind. He wasn’t calming the storm raging inside me.

So, I cried. A LOT.

My second (inner) language became strung-together curse words, screamed inside my mind.

I couldn’t turn off the rage that was starting to consume me, like a rage monster tearing away at me from the inside, bellowing its fierceness from within me.

Professional Help, Please!

As I finally confessed this inner battle to Jamie, upon our decision-making to stay in Hokkaido or move on, I told him the truth, “Jamie, I am really struggling. Either I need a professional counselor, or we need to leave to go somewhere less stressful on my brain. I need help.”

So, we moved to Misawa, Japan, near an American military base & the stress began to recede.

Even With My NOTHING

God showed me that even WHILE I was feeling broken & unfixable, bitter instead of trusting, & barely surviving through my mental typhoon each day, that He STILL chose to work through my life to bless others through my gifting.

In other words, EVEN WHEN I did NOTHING to earn or deserve anything, He still allowed me to be a blessing to others through HIS gifting.

Ex Nihilo

I used to think that it was up to us to bring the best of what we have & to be the best at everything ALL THE TIME & be everyone’s EVERYTHING, & ONLY THEN can God do miraculous, wonderful things in & through our lives.

BUT… in my failing… in my brokenness… in my falling apart… when I felt I had nothing to offer Him… HE STILL DID Mighty things, through ME!!

Like He showed us through Creation… God can do AMAZING things EX NIHILO (“From Nothing”).

Not Us, But HIM, THROUGH US

My gifting & my ability to bless others how He chooses to work through me, is not because I have proven any better than other people… but because He is a Mighty & Awesome & LOVING God who does great things despite my unworthiness, because He loves us so incredibly much.

He can take our NOTHING & make it a MASTERPIECE.

His Grace IS Sufficient

Even if our “leaning into Him” is as a paralytic who cannot even hold themselves up, HE HOLDS US UP in His strength, His mercy, His love, His power, His goodness, His forgiveness, His saving, HIS GRACE.

If you recognize a gifting God has given you when you chose to put your faith in Jesus as the Master & Redeemer of your life, learn from my mistakes… bow them at His feet & thank Him for blessing you with a way to bless others, through HIS GIFTING.

And then lean into Him to best use that gift to honor Him & to bring Him glory, by making Him famous wherever you go, loving others to Jesus, through truth & faith in Him. He will help you as you lean into Him.

Shine HOPE, by giving Him the little you have & letting Him multiply it, even if it feels as if you have little to nothing to offer Him… by LEANING INTO HIM.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Iris Earrings

Iridescent pink crystal beads sway on these golden teardrop hoops.

Artisan Information:

In Peru, rural citizens have been affected by extreme poverty & guerrilla warfare. Women are affected the worst as their husbands generally leave them in search of work. Many are unable to get the basic needs of food, shelter, & clothing. But with every purchase of this product, women are finding hope & an income by hand-making this beautiful product. Because of you, these family businesses are now empowering the next generation!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Peru!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Almost the End to a New Beginning

Well, we are one “Pivot” moment away from finishing this series! That’s so hard to believe after these (including this one) 14 “Pivots” that we have walked through together.

A Different Sort of Autobiography

It has always been a dream of mine to write an “autobiography”, not of what amazing things I have accomplished or done, but what God has worked in my life that I never saw as possible from my human perspective.

Being given the opportunity to share all of these moments with you has been a pleasure, especially the reminders, even for myself, of all that God has done & is capable of doing in our lives as we lean into Him.

Maybe someday I will better edit all of these “Pivot” stories into that autobiography of sorts. I guess we will see where God leads!

Trouble in Paradise

But, for today, we are talking about a touchy (& freeing) topic.

It’s touchy because a lot of hurt often surrounds this topic, but it’s freeing knowing the right perspective of leaning into God above all else, whether things work out or not.

“Trouble in Paradise”, as I have titled it, is a story of God doing what I felt was the impossible… bridging the gap in marital (or relational) trouble.

In It Together

You see, after God had led every step of our dating relationship as we leaned into Him consistently for direction & answers (read more, here), we felt like our bond was unbreakable.

We were bound together by trust in Him & a friendship built on Him.

Nothing could shake us.

We had aired all of our “dirty laundry” by sharing our deepest shames & hurts & mistakes… but we were forgiven.

We had shared all of our quirks… but we were accepted.

We had faced hurt & struggle… but had prayed through it all… together.

After the “Happily Ever After”

But then we moved to Guam… 3 months after we were married.

And things weren’t as great anymore.

We started out strong, but between the stress of adjustment to life on the other side of the globe & Jamie working 12 hour shifts several days a week (& usually taking on extra shifts for co-workers), let’s just say that it began to take its toll on us.

I felt neglected. He felt over-worked & stretched thin.

I felt bored & restless. He felt exhausted & ready to crash.

I felt alone & in need of company. He felt over-stimulated & in need of alone time.

We felt placed on opposite ends of every spectrum, unable to bridge the divides that seemed to be getting wider every month.

Beginning to Feel the Strain… Pull Us Apart

Fights became easier. Disagreements & misunderstandings were more common. Emotions were high & needs were left unmet on both sides.

We were strained & frustrated & tired.

My needs became a burden on us both—not because he didn’t think they or I were important, but because after work, he had nothing left to give.

Personal Perceptions Are Often Deceptive

But I felt like he must think me & my needs unimportant because they were SO important to me & yet he still didn’t meet them.

And he felt like I was putting too much pressure on him because he was already exhausted from work every day.

We were disconnected & hurt.

We argued & fought & stormed off & shut doors more forcefully than necessary.

We hurt.

I found myself often crying alone, curled up on the floor of our bathroom, with the lights out.

What I Wanted

I had heard that marriage was hard, but I felt like I had lost my very best friend, just by getting married to him.

I wanted to leave him & go back to America & be with my family & friends.

I wanted the hurt to stop.

I was learning very clearly in that time the truth that our spouse is not meant to fulfill our needs.

Only God can do that.

It’s Not Like the Movies… But It’s So Much Better

But culture sings a different tune, one where our spouse, who probably wishes they actually could, can fulfill all of your dreams & make you the happiest person imaginable.

And we probably still want to do that, but realistically, we don’t have the power to do that.

We have our own fears, hurts, insecurities, weaknesses, trauma, shortcomings, failures, etc. & when you join two imperfect people, you’re obviously going to have an imperfect marriage.

So Much Freedom in Removing That Expectation!

And oh the burden we are freed from when we realize that being our spouse’s EVERYTHING is not our purpose or even in our ability.

And oh the freedom it GIVES our spouse to release them from that supposed expectation.

Then, How?

So how did we do it? How are we good friends & happily married after the battle wounds we received in that painful couple years?

Prayer.

That’s right… prayer.

But, I Didn’t Start There

But, like I said, I first resorted to balling up in figurative tears (Fun Fact: I can’t cry actual tears) & wanting to quit it all & run from the hurt.

I resorted to wanting to bail & start over at home with my family. I wanted to give up because I felt so unloved.

But Jamie still loved me terribly, & through the deep ache, I loved him just as much… so why weren’t we able to express that to each other?

My Ache Turned Into My Prayer

At the end of one of our arguments, I was laying in bed, with my back turned to Jamie… silently sobbing into the edge of my pillow, begging God for help & pouring out my heart to Him like I had done countless times before on the floor of our bathroom.

“God, why is this happening! Why do I feel like Jamie & I are so far apart?! How did we get here!? I miss him so much & I HATE that we’re always at odds with each other… but I feel like no matter what, we’re never on the same page… like he doesn’t ever care about me! I feel so alone & betrayed. I thought he loved me but he gets mad or frustrated when I even want to spend time with him & he just plays video games alone in his spare time, with his headphones on, like I am just a home accessory!! He used to make me feel like his whole world & now he barely even talks to me. I hate my life here. I hate what this job has taken from me… from us. I want him back but that seems impossible now. Too many things we can’t take back & too many misunderstandings & disagreements. I don’t even feel like I know him anymore… Like I have been tricked. Did he never really love me? How can he act so callously toward me? Help us. Show us the way back to each other. PLEASE. Help us. Help me. I don’t know how to get back to him anymore & I miss him so much. Please show me what to do.”

God’s Response… God’s Solution… Trust HIM

… “Ask him to pray with you.”

That was the simple thought the washed over my mind like a gentle breeze.

“Ask him to pray with you.”

But I didn’t want to.

Did Jamie even care? Did he even want us back? If he cared, he would have tried already. (So many insecurities rushed over my heart.)

“Ask Him to pray with you.”

FINE. But I don’t want to.

And When I Obeyed God’s Guiding, God Healed

“Jamie, we should pray.”

“Ok.”

And so he prayed a prayer that shocked & shook me & expressed all the love for me that I was afraid wasn’t there.

To paraphrase his prayer:

“God, I don’t know what to do. We can’t seem to get along. I love Michelle, but I am too tired. I am stretched thin at work & I just don’t have the energy to be what she needs me to be. It hurts that I don’t feel like I can help her & it’s frustrating. Help me know what to do. Please help her hurt. Amen.”

And then I prayed my hurt out loud, too.

And we both cried & we hugged each other & just clung on.

God Knew How

It ended up that we genuinely both wanted a solution but neither of us new how to make it happen, were doing the best we knew how, & had different expectations on what that should look like.

And when we started both turning to God, instead of ourselves or each other, as the solution, God started to shape us & guide us along a path to help us both care for each other.

We became more understanding of each other’s needs, while not trying to meet them in our own wisdom or understanding, but by God’s.

We began letting go of the expectations we had placed on the other person to meet our needs & started leaning into God instead.

And we began to heal.

Start Looking to God for the Answers

God was the glue that took our efforts & our understanding & all of our other limitations & acted as our bridge to cover the great divide for us.

We stopped looking inward to fulfill each other.

We stopped looking to each other to fulfill ourselves.

And we started looking to God, together.

He is our glue. He is our bridge. He is our wisdom & solution. He is our strength.

A Work in Progress, Led by Grace

Do we still have disagreements & misunderstandings & occasional bad attitudes that we really shouldn’t be taking out on each other but it’s far too easy to do? Yes.

But we know the way back now. PRAYER. Leaning into GOD.

And we’re learning to turn to God BEFORE it gets bad, knowing we will reach the end of our limitations far sooner.

We’re human & we mess up. We are learning, but we don’t always get it right.

But God is the solution to that, too… because He will never stop working on our hearts. He is always ready to give grace as we grow toward Him.

He is a Good, Good Father.

Shine Hope, by letting God be your glue… & your bridge… to healing.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side & off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Not Cut & Paste

Today’s topic (& pretty much every week’s topic) is not meant to show you a cut & paste way to handle a situation. It is meant to show you how God guides us if we are striving to honor Him above our own feelings, fears, or desires… if we are obeying His way over our own.

Going Back Home

Nine years ago, right after I had graduated from Liberty University (how has it already been NINE years?!), I went back to live with my parents in Northern Virginia.

My parents had just paid my way through Liberty, upon the agreement that I kept my grades up (I graduated top twenty percent of the School of Business!) &, what was later told to me, they would not be helping to pay for any wedding that could potentially happen (I didn’t know this then, as I had no relationship to consider at the time).

Debt

BUT, I still had loads of debt… to them.

How? Because my parents had HELPED me pay health insurance & car insurance for those three years, on the agreement that I would eventually reimburse them once I got a full-time job.

So, a couple hundred dollars a month, for three years, minus some I had managed to pay along the way, left me with a hefty sum of debt.

AND, to help me out, my parents were graciously allowing me to move back home after graduation, at age 26. (If you missed last week’s post, I waited to go back to college.)

My “Buffer” Account

I did have a savings account, that served as a (gradually depleting) buffer that allowed me to still fill up my gas tank & be available for lunches with friends (or as an emergency fund in case I had to have work on my car or other such unexpected expense).

Trying to Re-Write My Reputation

Whether intentionally or unintentionally, the pressure was laid on pretty thick, by my parents, to pay them back quickly by getting a full-time job.

I had been a difficult teenager, one who was always trying to get out of extra work, so I can understand their feelings of mistrust & urgency for me to prove myself responsible & willing to pay them back without endless delay.

But God had been working in me. I had been allowing God to grow me & weed out some of my bad habits & bad attitudes, & I had no desire to string my parents along.

I wanted to please them & make them proud.

I wanted to be a responsible adult & I was eager to start work & change the world (that’s how I felt, anyway).

But bad reputations have a nasty way of sticking around, even after God has changed your heart & attitude.

Can anyone relate?

A Changed Woman

Anyway, eager to prove myself a changed woman & a responsible adult, I looked for a job.

But I was looking for a career, not a dead-end job.

I was eager to work with an outreach program or youth ministry for a church. I was ready to change lives & impact people with the hope I was learning more about each year.

I definitely also looked for jobs I didn’t care about as much, though, because I was so eager to pave the path for a new reputation. I wanted to pay off my debt quickly & ease the minds of my parents, by removing the financial burden of my debt to them.

But God had other plans.

He wanted to show me more about trusting in Him, even when the pressure is thick.

A Word from God

In reading my Bible, I came across this nagging little truth (at least, it nagged at me because the conviction hit me hard. I was NOT ready to hear these words!):

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
    when it is in your power to act.
Do not say to your neighbor,
    “Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”—
    when you already have it with you.” (Proverbs 3:27-28)

You see, in keeping my little “buffer” savings account, while still owing a ton of money to my parents, God convicted my heart that I was essentially saying, “Come back tomorrow & I will give it to you”, when I already had it with me.

… AKA the exact thing God warns us NOT to do, in these verses.

A Chance to Obey

A choice had to be made in that moment.

Would I trust & obey God’s way of handling my situation? (AKA give my parents my savings account) … or was I going to hold on to fear & the comfort of being able to maintain the kind of life I was comfortable with, while waiting to repay them?

Too many times had I seen how things went way worse than I expected when doing them MY way, only to HAVE to try God’s way in the end & see it work out much better…

SO, I took out every penny of my savings account, (thus erasing any chance for impromptu dinners, lunches, coffee dates, movies, adventures with friends) & gave it directly to my parents, as a way to show them, THROUGH ACTION & not just words, that my dedication to repay them was sincere.

What Now?

And then, penniless, with just the full tank of gas that I had, I said “goodbye” to most of my social life.

(Adulthood was no longer seeming so appealing, haha.)

And… I prayed… A LOT.

I prayed for direction & peace & for my parents to see they could trust me… I prayed for a chance to move out & pay off debt & to GET A JOB.

I felt so untethered from the comforts I had always relied on & that led me to pray more than usual. I couldn’t just coast through this debt repayment anymore. I needed to make money to even just refill my gas tank next time!

So, I started (more) actively searching for a job… searching for ANY work to get me through to my next tank of gas (& those pesky bills) … babysitting, house-cleaning, mowing lawns, house-sitting, & whatever other oddball jobs I could manage to get.

Just Enough… Was Enough

Here is where I began to see that as I trust God (although, my human perspective still worried that I would miss bills & fail miserably) & lean fully into Him… He doesn’t leave us hanging.

While working my odd jobs, while also searching for a full-time job, I was earning just enough to scrape by.

I still gave ten percent of everything I earned as a tithe to God, through supporting my church.

Tithing When Barely Making It

Let me tell you, when you don’t even have money to ever go out to lunch with a friend because you are earning JUST enough to pay your current bills, fill up the gas tank, & pay the remainder to your parents for your debt, ten percent seems like SO MUCH MONEY!

But, again, I had seen how God has a purpose in every command He gives us & He promises to provide as we obey… SO, I trusted & obeyed, while giving ten percent of the precious little I had to the church.

And I am not telling you that to brag or to seem super righteous, but because God really does keep His promises to take care of our needs as we live in obedience & trust to His Word (the Bible).

Nothing Was Working the Way I Hoped, And Yet…

Listen to this… this is where it really got cool ….

Every full-time job opportunity fell through.

Every full-time job that seemed like a good potential, I felt a heavy wall block me from accepting it, as if God was saying, “nuh-uh… NO.” Even when I prayed for days afterward, hoping I could feel peace that never came.

I felt SO MUCH pressure from my parents’ even mild frustration (I am a people pleaser at heart) & I wanted SO BADLY to prove I meant it when I told them I wanted to get a job & pay them back & honor them in that way.

But ALL I HAD were oddball jobs.

I know, I know… These all seem like the opposite of “cool”….

Every Bill Paid ON TIME!

But, GUESS WHAT.

Every time a bill was coming dangerously close to being past-due, I would receive an unexpected call from either a friend of the family, a co-worker of my mom, or a friend of a friend who would somehow think to call me, & they would offer me another oddball job for some amount of time with some amount of money that they would offer….

AND Every single time, it would get paid to me DIRECTLY before my bill was past-due & be MORE than my bill was worth… enough to fill up my next tank of gas & chip off another tiny chunk of my debt (& still tithe).

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

HE Doesn’t Have Our Limitations

Girl, I want you to see that we serve a BIG God.

He is not bound by the limitations that we are bound by.

If we walk in trusting obedience to Him, He ALWAYS follows through & takes care of us.

Am I saying, “don’t take the job”? NO.

Am I saying to do it exactly how I did? NO.

I AM saying that, again, as we walk in trusting obedience to God’s Word & God’s leading on our hearts, He WILL be faithful to take care of our needs.

It may not always be comfortable (in fact, oftentimes it’s UNCOMFORTABLE, because it goes against our own understanding) or look the way we think it should or like we want it to, but we will see in those moments, that despite all that, God really did know BEST.

Oh, And One More Thing… Or Maybe Two

So, I urge you. I beg you. I challenge you, even… to trust Him.

Because He always knows what He’s doing, even when we are clueless.

And do you want to know the real kicker that gets me every time with this story?

Guess what, with those oddball jobs, over ONE Summer, I paid off my debt IN FULL.

Did I get to go to King’s Dominion with friends? No.

Did I get to go out for impromptu coffee or lunch dates with friends? No.

Was it comfortable never knowing if I could pay my next bill? No.

But, to see God work in the ways that He did AND allow me to pay off ALL OF IT during those oddball jobs… was the best Summer EVER.

*** Oh, & by the way… AFTER I paid off my debt to my parents, I got a job working for a small church in Alexandria, Virginia… where I met my husband. ***

God Always Knows

God ALWAYS knows what He’s doing, even when we’re just taking one step at a time & trusting Him with every part that we don’t understand. He always knows.

Shine hope, by trusting God first, last, & always.

Trust & obey & let Him lead by leaning into Him.

He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

*Also pictured: Northern Lights Studs, also from India!*

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Take It Back Now, Ya’ll

So, this week, I am taking a step back to a pivotal moment I forgot to mention.

I appreciate your extension of grace to me over this last month as we had an unplanned trip Stateside (&, since unplanned, I forgot to bring my notebook/list of topics, hence the flip flop).

Quick Recap & Look Ahead

In case you’re new to my blog, over the last couple of months, I have been sharing about major pivotal moments in my life where God helped me do a 180 degree turn from my perspective to His.

I have been covering a bunch of relationship-related topics, so if that interests you, scroll on through the past several posts.

In a couple weeks, I will be continuing where I left off last week, by talking about “Trouble in Paradise”, where I will discuss how marriage is not all sunshine & rainbows (no matter how convinced you are that it will be when you’re in love) … & how God is the bridge Who covers the divide (no matter how convinced you are that your insufficient attempts prove no hope).

Next week’s topic is all about debt & trusting God against the grain.

Skipping Back To College Days

BUT, this week, I am skipping back about a year to share another major God-lesson I learned back in college.

To give you some back story, for perspective, I was pretty good in school & I took pride in that.

I may not have been “hot” or popular, in my opinion, but at least I could do pretty well in school.

I went back to college five years after high school, to finish a degree in Business Marketing at Liberty University. (Go LU!)

Pressure to Impress

Since I felt like being good in school was part of my identity & what gave me value, I felt pressure (& pride) to maintain my grades/educational success to prove my worth to others (& myself).

My Mom & Dad always believed I could do big things, but the pressure to impress was always nagging in the back of my mind.

My Capstone Course

And then came senior year, in 2010… with my capstone course at Liberty University.

I obviously felt like doing well in my capstone course was important, since it was supposed to be a culmination of everything I had learned so far. Plus, the professor held high standards & I wanted to live up to them.

But God had other plans for that class.

Studying Like a BOSS

You see, that course had very few graded assignments. It included maybe 2-3 exams & the final project. In other words, fail one thing & you could do very little to get back to good standing for the course—no pressure, right?

And so, I took studying VERY seriously for the exams in that class, more so than I had in my entire life. (Since school usually came easily to me, I could usually get away with not studying too hard while still maintaining good grades—(don’t hate me).

I SHOULD have been studying well in every class, regardless, but I took advantage of it coming easily to me. <– Good example of what NOT to do.)

When the first capstone course exam came near, I was more prepared than I imagined possible.

I had taken every online practice quiz (multiple times), basically reread every chapter, focused intently on all highlighted sections, reviewed my own notes, & did any other studying I thought might help. I lost MANY hours of sleep working to be fully prepared for this exam.

The Results Are In…

So, I aced it… NOT.

The results came in & I had received a 47%.

47%!!!

I imagine all color drained from my face as I reread my score so many times, trying to blink away the supposed nightmare I was having, only to realize I was fully awake already & that really was my score.

To say I broke down is an understatement.

Luckily, my roommates were in class when I read the results because I was DEVASTATED.

But… I Studied SO HARD…???

I dropped to my knees & cried for a good hour.

I replayed all of my hard work over & over again in my mind, contrasted with the TERRIBLE score I had just received as a reward for all of my hard work… HARDER WORK than I have EVER applied for an exam… EVER!

And a 47%.

“Who Are You Doing This For?”

I was crushed… & when the tears & questions started to numb, I began to pray & ask God what happened.

The answer came as a small whisper, like a gentle breeze across my mind, “Who are you doing this all for? Yourself? Your teachers? Your parents? Or Me?”

Ouch.

There it was… the epicenter of the drive behind all of my efforts.

God had called me out & had opened my eyes to my true motivation.

“Whatever You Do… As Working for the Lord”

I had heard the verses before, talking about, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23-24) But I never really got it.

Like, sure, have integrity, don’t cheat, work hard, blah blah blah. We represent Him, so don’t be a jerk at work. (And yes, all of those things are still true.)

But then, in that moment, it clicked.

It meant more than that.

I Am Not the Boss

It also meant that I don’t get to judge how much work is “enough” based on the value I perceive it to have.

It meant that it wasn’t about getting prestige or recognition or respect (or even about getting a good job).

It meant that it was all about how it made HIM look, for HIS glory, not mine.

It meant I am to live for HIS purposes, not mine.

It meant that ten years down the road, what I perceive all of this to be about right now might be used completely differently than how I anticipated.

Again with “Doing What Seems Right in My Own Eyes”

I tend to think & make decisions based on my own understanding (doing what seems right in my own eyes—hey, remember last week’s topic?), but God sees the big picture & every ripple effect of every action for every moment.

For example, I might think straightforward with my own logic of, “I came to school to get my degree in [this field], to get [this type of job].” While God thinks more like, “I brought you here to meet [this person], have [this impact], learn [this lesson], grow in [this area], & influence [this person].”

God Sees How It All Fits

God sees the WHOLE picture.

God can see beyond the obvious & beyond our intentions.

God sees every piece in play & how every piece will impact every other piece in His greater plan.

So, when we work “as if unto the Lord,” it means more than having integrity. It means putting forth our best efforts, through relying on God’s wisdom, direction, clarity, strength, etc., while keeping in mind that it’s for His grander purposes that we don’t yet see or understand.

Our Responsibility Is to Trust in Him & Try Our Best

We don’t need to be THE best, we just need to show up & do OUR best with what is put in front of us, knowing that we DON’T know how it may be used by God in the future… because we’re working for His plan & purposes, not our own.

Don’t try to anticipate how God will use your efforts & thus cut out what you don’t think will matter.

Just show up, do your best, & do it with a heart of serving God’s purposes & plan… to honor Him & bring Him glory, no matter how those efforts may be used in the future.

Only God knows.

Shine HOPE by doing your best & working as if unto His purposes & plan, trusting Him to help you in the process, when you lean into Him with full weight.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Petal Necklace

This cubic zirconia floral pendant hangs from an antique golden chain and pairs perfectly with the Petal Stud Earrings.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The vast expanse of subtle, rolling hills sprawled across the countryside, covered in a field of lush moss green & sprinkled with specks of white, bright yellow, & pale lavender wildflowers.

A worn dirt trail was woven through the hills like a slithering brown snake, leading into the shadows beyond the horizon.

And a wisp.

A wisp of soft yellow light played amongst the wildflowers, dancing with the charms of the wind & blending with the fireflies at dusk.

No one from the nearby village knew where the wisp had come from, but most everyone enjoyed the whimsical imagination that it sparked in their hearts as they surmised its tale.

Maybe it was a wish prancing among them, willing to grant the greatest desire of the one who would capture it.

Maybe it was a truly rare, tiny creature of light, the only of its kind.

Maybe it was a tiny guardian, charged by some unknown force to watch over them.

Maybe it was dangerous, as the unexplainable sometimes is.

Or maybe it was just a wisp who liked to dance with the wind & play amongst the wildflowers, blending in with the fireflies at dusk.

No one quite knew for sure.

Some children would chase it, laughing gleefully, trying to be the first to capture it.

Some mothers would drag their children away, worried of the unknown & yet some mothers would simply smile warmly, enjoying the scene of whimsical joy before them.

The fathers didn’t know what to make of the single wisp & so they showed cautionary acceptance of the it living amongst them.

Some villagers would try to study the wisp, others would avoid it, & yet others still would dream of the fairytales it sparked in their minds.

But, one day, the wisp changed.

Its yellowy light shifted to a hazy, bluish purple.

It no longer seemed interested in dancing amongst the wildflowers of the rolling green hills.

The wisp took singular notice of the snakelike trail & began to flit & flutter along its dusty path, seemingly oblivious to the curious & cautious stares of the onlooking villagers.

On it went, its faint glow disappearing from view as it followed its course.

And the wisp continued on, a singular mission seemed to drive it forward.

As it floated along, swimming through the air like a lazy hummingbird, it reached a divide in the path ahead.

One led to a dark, shadowy wood.

The other led to a path of hard, bright sunshine & rocky terrain.

Which way will the wisp travel?

Where is it headed? And from where did it come?

The wisp paused just briefly, as if to consider its decision.

And then it quickly disappeared into the dark wood, its light illuminating everything the darkness touched.

(That’s the funny thing about light. It only seems to brighten as its surroundings grow darker.)

And on it went, deeper into the less dark woods, until it came upon a small clearing with an even smaller fawn laying in the grass.

The wisp began to brighten as it approached the young creature who seemed lost & alone in the dark of the forest.

Warmth began to emanate from the small wisp as it seemed to comfort the tiny animal.

Gaining courage, the fawn wobbled to his feet & came closer to the little glowing light that was new to the darkness of its surroundings.

And as the fawn closed in, the wisp flitted onward, seeming to lead the frightened young thing deeper into the dense trees.

And there it was ahead, a ray of light… & then two & three.

The break in the trees was just ahead, with the sounds of leaves being gently crushed in the shadows in front of them.

A silhouette of a doe appeared near the end of the wood & the crunching leaves grew louder as the mother deer rushed with worried excitement to its young son who had lost himself in the depth of the deep, dark wood.

Reunited at last, the mother & son nuzzled each other, now oblivious to the presence of the tiny little floating wisp.

And as they cleared the wood, heading for safer ground, the little wisp had completed its mission, now wandering on to shine light where it was needed next, wherever that may be.

Coming Next Week

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Special Feature post!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Manilla Bay Earrings

Local capiz shell is dyed a light blue/green hue & hand cut into half moon shapes accented with silver toned metal.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives! 

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

We Interrupt This Program to Bring You…

Okay, so this isn’t normally how I run my blog, but I feel like it needs to be said now, today.

Today, we deviate from the pivots (those will probably resume next week).

Today, we let God take over for a message that I need reminding of every single day (added during editing… you’ll see why that’s important later).

God’s plans aren’t our plans.

Just Everyday Life

When the Bible says repeatedly, “And the people did what was right in their own eyes,” we often & easily think of it as revelry & outright sin.

But hold up, when you actually look up those references, where that phrase is written (go ahead & do a search online), sometimes it literally means just that, “the people did what was right in their own eyes,” when referring to just everyday life… No outright sin involved.

Even Well-Intentioned Christians… Like Me

So, do we do that, too? Do we live according to “what seems right in our own eyes”?

I would say a GIANT “yes” to that question.

EVEN, (now hear me on this), EVEN well-intentioned CHRISTIANS.

Gasp.

Even… ME (yes, I admit it).

Gasp.

Even… PASTORS.

*Faint*

Now, before you go thinking, “now wait just a cotton picking minute!” (where did that phrase even come from? haha)… but before you write me off, stick with me a minute & you’ll see what I mean.

But Wait! I Think I Know This One!

We, as humans, tend to take what we know & run with it, substituting a relationship with God, through the Holy Spirit, with our OWN knowledge of Scripture.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we need to study up on the Word of God, aka the BIBLE, because it is God’s Word to us. It is how He shows us who He is… His character, His will, His love, His GRACE.

BUT, we cannot study up & neglect a daily relationship with God, through prayer. Mostly because we will NEVER know it all. We are NOT God.

Satan Tries to Trick by Twisting Truth

Do you remember when, in Matthew 4 (I had to look up the reference) Satan tried to use Scripture to tempt Jesus, but because Jesus was God & also had a relationship with God the Father, He knew better & saw right through Satan’s manipulation & distortion of Truth?

Would you recognize it as a trick as easily as Jesus did?

We often think we do/will.

That Pesky Little “Lean Not on Your Own Understanding”

We tend to learn a whole lot & then proceed to lean on our OWN understanding (the exact OPPOSITE of what God tells us to do, in Proverbs 3 (again, Google is my friend).

Or, we tend to think KNOWING the Scripture (Bible) is the SAME as knowing how God wants to APPLY it at any given moment.

ESPECIALLY if one specific way worked for someone else, in accordance with God’s will… like, “oh okay, well we have THAT one figured out. No need to ask for God’s guidance & will for this situation because we already know!”

Some Things Are Solid

Now, yes, if it is “thou shalt not murder” (Exodus 20:13) or some other direct command, we don’t have to question God’s Word… but if it’s in applying a passage to our lives, God is a living, breathing God who is infinitely creative… In other words, it might be best to always be leaning into Him for His direction with HIS Word.

Abide in HIM

The vine & branches parable in the Bible (John 15) has been taking on fresh meaning to me lately as I realize just how EASY it is to rely on “doing what seems right in my own eyes.”

Unless we are ABIDING in Christ (there are about 30 references to that, in the Bible, according to my search), we are attempting to be a branch that is disconnected from the Vine (God), who just happens to be a branch that knows a whole lot ABOUT the Vine.

Fighting Back from What Seems Natural for the MORE That God Offers

I get it, we will never get it right 100% of the time, because acting based on what we think we see right in front of us seems SO EASY & SO NATURAL.

But God didn’t send us His Word so that we could read it & then go rogue.

God wants a relationship.

He wants to interact, guide, comfort, teach, grow, heal, & love us through this life.

He wants to do the heavy lifting while we dedicate our entire being to trusting our entire being to Him, His lead, His will, & His Vine-ness.

I Think I’m Okay, Though…

So, if you’re sitting there thinking, “I try very hard to please God & do good for Him, so I don’t think this message applies to me…” STOP.

Pray.

Ask God to reveal to you the areas where you ARE clinging to control (or “what seems right in your own eyes”), where you are relying on your “wisdom” instead of His… your perspective, instead of His… your way, instead of HIS.

Because I guarantee you this, there is AT LEAST one part where you have been fooled into thinking, “because I know this much, I am capable of doing this one on my own.”

Don’t let Satan keep you on the hamster wheel of false belief… false trust.

Run into Jesus’ welcoming, loving, COMPLETELY capable arms.

And STRIVE to live according to what IS right, in HIS eyes, through letting HIM take the lead of your life… through growing your relationship with Him, versus merely growing your knowledge base.

God Had Other Plans… & I Had No Idea

Today, this wasn’t my planned topic. I already wrote today’s blog (about “doing everything as if unto the Lord”), but I guess that topic will have to wait for next week.

At the beginning of this post, I said, “Okay, so this isn’t normally how I run my blog, but I feel like it needs to be said now, today.”

Honesty moment? I didn’t even know what “needed to be said” until the words fell out on the screen as I typed.

Scrap It & Walk Blind?

I felt a nudge, a wall, a hesitancy to continue my path, so I stopped & asked God why, so to speak.

And all I felt was that I should scrap that whole direction for today… all of the work I had already done… & just let Him talk. So, I erased my post & just starting typing what popped in my head, not knowing where it was headed.

Sometimes you have to let God interrupt your “regularly scheduled program” to let Him do what He wants instead.

In fact, every day of life should be about us stepping aside to let Him work His will through us… & we won’t know how to recognize the difference unless we stop to ask Him.

So ask Him.

Ask Him HOW

And if you have ZERO clue how to have that relationship with Him that I mentioned, start there. Ask Him to show you how to do it.

He is capable.

No one… I repeat… NO ONE is perfect at this… but “God gives grace to the humble” (written MANY times in the Bible!) & He “is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3).

So, ask Him.

Doing Pretty Good? Ask Him Anyway.

And if you think your relationship with Him is already pretty good… remember that EVERYONE is imperfect… EVERYONE has space to grow… EVERYONE relies on themselves at least sometimes.

So, ask Him.

Shine Hope by growing a living relationship with a living God & letting Him be the boss, always.

Coming Next Week

This week, on Thursday, is our monthly Special Feature Post, so stay tuned!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

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A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

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Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Iris Earrings

Iridescent pink crystal beads sway on these golden teardrop hoops.

Artisan Information:

In Peru, rural citizens have been affected by extreme poverty & guerrilla warfare. Women are affected the worst as their husbands generally leave them in search of work. Many are unable to get the basic needs of food, shelter, & clothing. But with every purchase of this product, women are finding hope & an income by hand making this beautiful product. Because of you, these family businesses are now empowering the next generation!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Peru!

(*Also Pictured: Worthy Necklace from India!*)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!