The Week before the Super Typhoon
It’s strange. Today is Day 13 since Super Typhoon Mawar hit us here on Guam.
Just the week before, my husband & I made a trip over to Tokyo, Japan for our 11th anniversary. Both of us had fallen in love with the city after many years of visits from our 7 years of living in Japan from 2015-2022.
Many of our anniversaries have been spent in Tokyo, mainly Tokyo Disneyland & Disney Sea. We have our favorite spots & a feeling of comfort having been there so many times. It’s probably not the type of trip a tourist would long for, as our favorite food places are burger spots & street taco-like food versus sushi & ramen… but we could get all that at home & always longed for a taste of home in America… so now they have become our spots.
And aside from me being sick with a cold for most of our trip, we made some special, happy memories.
While we were away there in Japan for the week, I heard a rumor of an upcoming typhoon… but that was nothing new for our island home on Guam… so we didn’t think much of it.
Buckling Down
Returning to Guam, the talk of this typhoon was spreading. Warnings were being issued. Urgent posts were being shared to stock up & bunker up to prepare.
We have been through quite a few typhoons & this was typical. So, we bought a few days’ worth of food, refilled our water jugs for drinking water, charged devices, & made sure we found our flashlights. All the typical preparations.
In bed the night before we were hit, I was drifting to sleep when I felt an urgency in my heart suddenly to fill our bathtub with water. I grumbled through my longing to just slip off to sleep, but when I prayed about it, the urgency pushed all the more, so I got up to fill it up, even though it hadn’t been used because of drain issues… so it wasn’t exactly perfectly clean, but I filled it. Then, I texted my husband who was in his office (because, again, I wanted to just crawl back in bed & sleep) to ask if we should fill the other & he seemed uninterested because every other typhoon never took our water supply.
So, I prayed for protection & peace & I went to sleep.
A Day Like Any Other…
The day of the typhoon felt like any other. I noticed though right after I woke up that our water was off already—maybe precautionary shut off by the water company? We didn’t know.
We knew we may lose power overnight after it all passed, so we lowered all the air conditioner temperatures to help us get through the power outage on remaining coolness.
But other than that, the day was just like any other day off. We watched tv, played video games, enjoyed the AC, heated up food, & just prepared for the loud wind storm to begin like every other typhoon we’d been through.
In the afternoon, it was raining a lot & pretty windy, but nothing scary. And then we lost power but had the daylight to watch the storm outside.
It Felt Like Any Other Typhoon We’ve Been Through… Until It Wasn’t…
Although we had been through many storms like this… this time we didn’t have typhoon shutters on this house. And knowing how any left out lawn furniture or bicycles or anything can be lifted up and tossed, I felt a certain tension wondering if something would break a window at any moment & let the storm inside (as did happen for many friends we know).
The winds started picking up to what we felt must be the worst of it… just like most typhoons how it gets really intense before it passes completely by us. Then we heard updates that the eye was supposed to pass between 6-8pm sometime, meaning “the worst was almost over.”
Except it wasn’t. It was just getting started. The screaming winds & crashing sounds outside & rain just kept on intensifying as the sun crept down & slowly left us in blackness.
I could hear things crashing into the side of our house but couldn’t see a thing inside or outside of our house. But nothing hit any of our windows.
The reports now were saying that the eye kept reforming, prolonging the end of it all.
It was starting to become clear that this was no “regular typhoon.” This was seriously dangerous. It was intense & chaotic & deafening & our back door was bowing from the wind, letting water gush from the sides & the top & through underneath… but in our laundry room, where we had a raised step to the rest of the house & a septic backup drain in the floor.
I Just Wanted It to Stop
I hid in the hallway with a crank fan, a flashlight, & my phone because it was the only place without a window. I just squeezed my eyes shut & kept praying for protection & peace over & over because it was all I could think about for hours.
My day of video games & tv shows & fun snacks had turned into a nightmare in a matter of hours.
Then the new reports came in that the intensity may not end until midnight to 6am the next morning depending on whether the eye keeps reforming.
And, by God’s Grace, We Slept
Through it all, my husband was diligent in mopping all water toward that drain, determined not to let the flooding overtake our home, but calm.
His calmness helped center me like an anchor, God’s peace beginning to help me see that I needed to just trust Him & SLEEP.
So, we let our cat follow us in our room (he is usually not allowed because of my mild allergies) & he didn’t even hesitate as he followed us in & jumped on our bed to settle next to my feet.
And all three of us slept… by God’s grace. We slept.
A Deep Sigh of Relief… of Hope…
And when I woke up the next morning, the winds were still there but noticeably quieter, the rain was still coming down, but more like a normal summer storm… & I could see hopeful rays of sunshine in the next room.
I sighed the deepest sigh of relief as I felt hope & gratefulness begin flood my heart.
My husband had fashioned a funnel with all of our cleaning towels & rags, but the water was still about an inch deep in our laundry room, so I got to work in using our squeegee to push the rest of the water down the drain… but not after checking our windows & seeing that not a single one even had a crack… with all the loud crashing into our house I had heard overnight, nothing hit a window enough to break it. Thank. You. GOD!
And I thought the traumatic experience was over & done.
The Morning Light Shines on the Devastation
Until Jamie & I walked down our street & saw the extent of the wreckage everywhere.
All the lush tropical plants that once painted the sides of the drive up to our house with beautiful, vibrant colors were stripped completely, leaving views of abandoned houses boarded up, rusted large appliances left in yards, etc. All the jungle beauty was gone… just GONE.
And then reports of friends began pouring in. Lost homes due to severe flooding, damaged cars, lost personal items left out, missing pets. The pain everyone was feeling was heavy.
I cried a lot that day just from the weightiness of it all. Seeing so much pain everywhere around me & feeling helpless to do anything about it. It was so hard.
The Sleepless Night after the Storm
But then, the next night came. The remnants of air conditioning coolness was long gone, cold water was running low, & power/running water was out still.
I fell asleep, but woke up in the middle of the night almost feeling like a panic attack was trying tirelessly to rip me apart from the inside.
I was hot, hadn’t showered in a couple days (the night before the storm), felt sticky from the thick, humid air (even with the windows open)… pitch black house with no light even from a digital clock on the oven—I just wanted to see some LIGHT. And no fan—I was so hot & gross & sticky feeling.
I couldn’t go back to sleep. I would lay and stare into the darkness… then just sob over nothing in particular… then beg God—BEG God—for Him to just TURN THE POWER ON.
I felt swallowed up by the darkness—like it was ever closing in on me. I felt harassed & tormented by the sticky humidity discomfort. I felt heavy from all the destruction outside & friends’ homes. I just wanted cold water, fresh air, LIGHT, power on… hope.
Day 3 Since the Storm Began
Jamie got up, said goodbyes, went to work & I spent the day trapped alone in our miserably uncomfortable home, rationing the food we hadn’t bought enough of (handfuls of granola for breakfast, applesauce with peanut butter, almonds, & snacks for lunch… & a main meal once a day of a can of soup or chili).
Gas lines were 2+ hours, so we were trying to use our cars only for Jamie to go to work or for emergencies… but I was losing it. I felt so antsy & restless & endlessly uncomfortable… while also seeing my phone battery life slowly tick away… so I rebelled out of sanity-restoring necessity (mind the fact I had only gotten about 1.5 hours of sleep on top of everything else) & I sat in my car with the chair leaned back, AC blasting, & music playing… while charging my phone—the relief that was was incomparable!
What a reminder of everything I take for granted every single day that I should be praising God for every single day!
It’s Been 13 Days Since It Began
It’s been 13 days since the super typhoon began to hit us.
Our house still doesn’t have power, but God answered my prayer (begging) for rescue in an even better way. He provided a friend who got power & graciously & generously offered her guest room to us. He provided companionship & friendship through the grief, shock, & trauma I would have otherwise had to face alone while Jamie was away at work.
I get to see my cat, Cisco, every 2-3 days when I go to use that tub water to rag bath & bowl wash my hair. He’s doing fine & seems like nothing ever happened… purrs & playtime & temporary snuggles & extra treats.
Our house has full water as of yesterday (it’s been about 60% water pressure for about a week after we had to pay almost $300 post-typhoon for a plumber to fix a small broken pipe outside that was stealing all of the water pressure to inside our house). But what an encouragement that we’re now back to full water pressure!
Still no power for our house. 53.2% has been restored for residential power as of today.
I’m still using that filled bathtub to scoop out bowls of the water so I can wash off & wash my hair every few days (I don’t have the liberty to do my every other day hair wash making it now more like every 3-4 days because although we have water restored, there is a boil water notice because of the runoff from the storm flooding & the purification system still being down/can’t work effectively because of low water pressure island wide & low power). Thank You, God, for that bathtub of water! (1/3 of it remains.)
Healing Takes Time
While better days are becoming less of a rarity, trauma is funny in that it hits you in waves… remembering being huddled on the floor of a crowded hallway with piled boxes & being squished sitting on a small pillow hearing the world crash all around you while you sit in enveloping blackness… remembering the lush beauty outside just GONE… remembering rationing the food because you were no longer sure how long it would need to last… remembering my last sip of cool water before it was gone… remembering the smell of the garbage rotting from thrown out food… the bowl baths with not great water… the sticky hot overwhelming discomfort of the 24 hours+ that followed—desperate for even a drop of cool water on your tongue or a cool wet rag to pat on your neck, or just desperate to see that sun come up because the darkness was just so oppressively enveloping.
The crying, BEGGING God to just turn the power back on when we were still at our house. PLEASE!!!!
It still hits me sometimes. Sometimes something will randomly just trigger it & I feel like I get sucker punched in the gut & I just feel sobs begging to just threaten to swallow me up.
Sometimes the heaviness of it all just makes me want to crawl under the covers & run away from everything.
All the Time, God Is Good… God Is Good, All the Time
But through it all, God has been good to me.
He has held me while the world felt like it was crashing all around me.
He protected our shutterless house.
He confirmed IN OCTOBER a house purchase for us that just seemed like too much work, but we trusted His lead & went with it… & BACK THEN He knew it would be a home to protect us in a storm we didn’t even know was coming.
He lowered the CAT-5 typhoon of 180mph winds to a CAT-4 typhoon of 140mph winds just AS it hit Guam & as soon as it LEFT Guam it went back to a CAT-5. (Thank you ALL for praying for us! Got HEARD you!)
He didn’t give us power, but He sent me to a hospitable friend who did, who has fed us well, & has been a friend of comfort which has helped us all as we walk through the shock & the grief & the trauma. GOD KNEW I NEEDED THIS.
He urged me to fill the bathtub which in every other typhoon was NEVER needed & now I am able to bowl bath & keep a semblance of CLEAN.
He protected us & our home when so many people lost so much.
His Impossible Peace IN the Storms of Life–Even the Literal Ones
He gave me peace in moments when peace seemed like an impossibility.
He has been faithful to take my hand & walk me through moments where I just want to give up because it’s all too much & He has nudged me to just color & turn on worship music & just tune out the thoughts of it all that sometimes threaten to consume me… & to keep my heart set on Him… even if I feel sometimes that I have to FORCE myself to do so.
He has given me moments to laugh.
He has restored power to most of our friends & church family, relieving me from feeling heavy for their hurting.
He consistently has provided a trickle of water to my friend’s house so we could keep filling & pouring pots into our reserve for toilet-flushing.
God is so, so GOOD.
Living through a Super Typhoon
This is not what I would have chosen to go through & don’t ever wish to go through again, but living through a super typhoon has forced upon me the perspective of gratefulness for the small things in life I take for granted so easily.
Thank You, God. Thank You for everything I take for granted. Please forgive me for taking all of that so lightly, complaining about other things while neglecting to remember to still praise You for the rest. Thank You so much for protecting us & my friends & church family. Thank You for helping me even when I am not always handling the trauma well. You are such a gentle, patient, faithful Father. Thank You for providing us our home even when we doubted You. Thank You even that little Cisco cat is okay. Thank You for who You are. Thank You for everything. In Jesus’ holy, worthy name. AMEN.
Shine Hope by determining to praise God, even when it feels like your world is falling apart… God deserves it always & will carry you through the hardest of it all… And praising God will free your heart from letting despair spiral away your joy.
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