Back on Guam

Well, we made it. Barely, but we made it.

My husband & I just moved back to Guam, after having lived here for 3 years, leaving in 2015 to move to Japan… we now back again to Guam.

This wasn’t my first choice, in fact, when my husband built up the story of discovering this job opening, ending with, “… & guess where it is???” my initial thought was, “we’re moving to Florida 2 years earlier than we expected?!?” Haha, nope.

But here I am, sitting in a nice hotel room with a beautiful ocean view (not bad for a temporary living situation), shaking my head in disbelief. It feels like a dream. It doesn’t feel real.

But it’s true… I am back on Guam.

A Swirling Mess of “All of the Above”

Guam is such an out-of-the-way place, so when you leave here, you don’t expect to ever come back… you close that chapter in your mind because the chances are so slim the first time around, that a second time just seems an impossible scenario… but here we are.

I wasn’t excited. I was devastated. Not just the unexpected jolt to my routine/life. Not just the disappointment of “not Florida.” Not just the loneliness I felt last time I lived here. And not just the fact that it meant we had to leave our home & friends 2 years sooner than we expected. It was a swirling mess of “all of the above.”

One Tough Move!

If you followed my journey to here, you know it was one of the hardest moves I could have ever imagined from start to finish.

From the movers miscalculating our allowed shipment size, almost leaving behind some furniture & boxes, only to finally agree to call to verify, finding out they had indeed miscalculated & were trying to deny us a THIRD of our shipment space. (oof)

From the movers receiving incorrect information about what we were allowed to ship & us only finding out after we had to pay for alternative means of shipment (ie medicine cabinet, spices, etc.) (oof again)

Then there was the whole shipping our cat thing. EVERY step acts as if they just want you to give up & give up your furbaby. EVERY step. In some cases, we had to come on the phone more informed than their own staff or we would have been denied altogether! How does that happen!? But God provided a dear contact who helped us to know who to ask what to make it happen anyway! Praise GOD!

And the last step for our cat required a military id, which we had for my husband’s job in Japan… but just a couple days before our departure, my husband was notified that instead of the remote relinquishment of his id, they decided they wanted to do it BEFORE we left & nothing we said changed their opinion. It had the potential to leave our cat stranded on our last layover & it was too late in the game to do anything about it.

To say this move was a stressful one is an understatement.

The Mess CONTINUED

Once the military ids were relinquished & our journey began, the mishaps did not end there.

We had 6 bags, plus a medium-sized dog kennel for our cat to lug around the airport.

We had a shuttle to take, with no underneath baggage space, with said bags & cat kennel.

We had to clear Japanese animal export in Tokyo.

We had an overnight layover in Hawaii, of which we were greeted with the news that our airline had no reservation for our cat—by the animal holding facility, who were unwilling to call to check whether it was just my name where it didn’t show, or any pet reservation at all (it was booked under my husband’s name, not mine) & that we should “just check when we get there.” (No stress, right?!)

Then all 6 bags were lugged around the giant hotel area, only to find out no shuttle tickets could be gotten, so we had to find a taxi.

The Last Leg of the Race Didn’t Get Any Easier

And to end it all with a bang, the check-in process for our sweet kitty took THREE hours & although we were first in line, even with running to the opposite side of the airport to my gate, I was 10 minutes late & ONLY because Jamie had pre-check & could get there early, did I make the flight at all, receiving many uncaring responses of, “sounds like someone didn’t allow enough time to catch her flight.” (Ohhh boy, if only they KNEW! … I was not thinking God-honoring thoughts about them at this point & had to bite my lip a few times there.)

The airline was telling my husband they couldn’t wait any longer & that he needed to just leave me there. I couldn’t respond to his messages because I was running WITH bags, asthma, & a bad hip/back… but I made it.

And when I got on that plane, with my mask hiding my face & the loud hum of the engine masking the sound, I cried for maybe the first 10 minutes of it… just flat out sobbing in relief & frustration & hurt that it had to be that hard the whole way.

He Can Do What I Can’t

But I’m here. We made it. Cisco made it. We’re here.

I don’t write all of this for sympathy, but to show you that this whole move was one giant IMPOSSIBLE, but we leaned into God & asked others to be praying, & God put the right people in our path at the right time (because we were trusting in Him over ourselves) & HE made it happen!

So much of the last few weeks was completely out of my control. But God was still in control.

I didn’t know who to call or where to start, but God led me.

I couldn’t control the decisions of others, but God made a way anyway.

I couldn’t know what I didn’t know, but God showed me & put people in my path who did know & could tell me.

This move was impossible from start to finish.

BUT… GOD. He can do what I can’t!

Cling to TRUTH in Times of Troubles

God tells us not to be anxious for anything (I still need to work on this one! It shows I often trust what I can see over what I know God can do & His will/plan & His care for me), but to pray about everything. (Philippians 4:6-9)

He tells us to not rely on our own understanding, but to turn to Him in everything. (Proverbs 3:5-7)

He tells us to be still & know that He is GOD. (Psalm 46:10)

He says that nothing is impossible with Him (Luke 1:37) & that He can do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20-21)

He says in all our ways to acknowledge HIM (His leadership, His power, His will, His ability, His love, His lead) & He will direct our paths. (Proverbs 3:5-7)

He reminds us that His comforts delight our soul IN the multitude of our anxieties. (Psalm 94:19)

His Will… He Will Make a Way

Where I am limited, He is limitless.

Where I can find no way, He is a Way-Maker.

If He leads you to something He WILL make it work out… we don’t have to worry about the hows, only focus on the Who.

This was a job He led my husband to. The way seemed impossible. But with God, anything is possible & His plans cannot be thwarted. Where we can’t, He CAN.

Continued Prayers Appreciated

Prayers are still appreciated as we look for a home—one that has been well-maintained, feels inviting, & has parking/space for guests. And for 2 reliable cars—rust damage is common on an island & problems are often left undisclosed.

Ask God to help us with discernment for unforeseen problems, that we trust His lead & have patience to WAIT to see HIM move versus just ACTING, & that we find peace during our long period of displacement. Thank you in advance!

Shine HOPE by leaning into Him in every high & in every low in life, letting HIM take the reins of your life, directing & leading you in His plans, not yours. Because even if you’re scared, apprehensive, or anxious, God ALWAYS KNOWS BEST & He WILL work everything together for the good of those who love Him & are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Kala Scarf

This floral-print scarf is handcrafted in India using ancient Bagru block printing techniques & azo-free natural dyes. Trimmed with an elegant multicolor jewel-toned border. Every scarf has variations as a part of the traditional Bagru block-printing process & Artisan-made charm!

In India, poverty & gender discrimination make it difficult for women to find safe dignified jobs with fair wages. But with every purchase, these Artisans are earning fair wages in safe working environments while preserving the ancient Artisan traditions of their ancestors & investing in the next generation.

Purchase this scarf & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Apprehensions, But God Is in Control

Well, this is it. In just 3 days, my husband & I will be flying to our new again home—Guam.

As you may remember, I wasn’t excited when I found out about this possibility a mere few months ago. I thought Guam was beautiful, of course, & I made some friends who invested in me as a friend… but life on Guam back in early 2010s was hard for me.

Maybe it was the fact that I was on the other side of the world from family & friends for the first time in my life.

Maybe it was figuring out being married & being a wife, learning to work together & communicate & work through tough things together for the first time.

Maybe it was my husband’s crazy work schedule that kept him away from home so incredibly often, leaving me alone on the other side of the globe (pre-smart phone & video calls, too, when all I had was a limited international calling plan).

Maybe it was feeling like an outsider—not hired staff, not local, not military… just fallen between the cracks in so many areas with a mostly absent husband.

Maybe it was a combination of all of that. Whatever it was—it was hard… & now I am moving back.

God Is Holding Me through It

I know circumstances are different now. I have been overseas for 10 years & am no longer a newbie at this. I have been married to Jamie for 10 years &, while still growing, as we always will as human beings, we are much more established in our relationship. His work schedule won’t be as crazy. Things have changed to better include outsiders like me. And… I own a smartphone now… with video calls.

But still, the trauma is there a bit & the apprehensions settle around this move.

Gratefully, God has–despite these apprehensions– helped me to have a better attitude with this move. He is giving me peace & helping me to just take one step at a time. He is helping me to trust Him & not worry, that even if it turns out just as bad (or worse), He has a plan & He can carry me through the potential storm.

I Don’t Play Baseball…

And here I am, just a few days away from leaving this country of Japan that has become our home these last 7 years & curveballs are swinging left & right & I feel emotionally & physically spent. I feel “out of batteries” as I like to say when I get to this point.

But I have more to do. Preparations have to be completed in just a couple more days before our flights. There is no time to quit or pause. It either gets done or left behind forever.

There are so many details that I couldn’t begin to share them all with you, as it would take hours to explain every facet of ever-needing-to-be-changed-or-adjusted details. It is seriously a whirlwind of information & details & needing to know more than the people who ought to know & inform me.

And I am out of batteries. I want to quit, if I am completely honest. I want to check out, curl up under the comforter–with it pulled over my head, cry until I get all the cries out & just sleep until it’s all over.

But I can’t. I have to be a grownup.

I Was Ready to Check Out

I didn’t want to write today. I wanted to toss it out with everything else I wanted to forget about to escape any & everything that could add to my pile, but God kept whispering over my heart ever so gently that even if I just share my prayer–my crying out to Him– that’s enough.

Because I am NOT enough.

But HE is.

I NEED Him

So, today, I leave you with my heart bare in prayer, laying down my weakness for His strength, my inability for His limitlessness, my burden for His care, & my dead batteries for His Almighty power:

“God. I am so tired. I am frustrated & a little angry. So much of this process has required us to know more than the ones we’re supposed to be able to call for help. How is that even possible? How are we supposed to plan & know if THEY don’t even know? I just can’t anymore. I am so tired & drained & I just don’t want to anymore. I can’t handle one more thing falling through or one more mistake due to misinformation or one more re-do because of that misunderstanding or one more authority unwilling &/or too uncaring to bother to help us when we NEED it. I can’t handle any more of it emotionally. I feel so drained. Please, God. You are the Author. You are Almighty. You can do anything. You KNOW everything. Please give me peace where peace seems impossible. Give me rest of heart. Renew my strength. Bolster my strength & resilience. Pave a way & fit the pieces together. Direct us to the ones who know & are willing & able to help us when we need it. Give us patience & a reminder to lean on You over quitting. Thank You for all You have already moved for us. Thank You for stepping in when all seemed lost along the way already. Thank You for being bigger than me, with more patience & wisdom & knowledge & power than me. Help me trust in that more. Be my strength. Get us to Guam. Please get our kitty to Guam safely, too, & watch over his nervous, scared little heart—comfort & calm him please Lord—I hate not being able to explain to him what is happening, so please care for him on our behalf. Help me to consider more Your plans for this move versus how it may or may not directly benefit me. Thank You for always being enough when I most definitely am not. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Shine HOPE by taking your human weaknesses & limitations to HIM.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Mosaic Clutch (Guatemala)

Made in Guatemala from upcycled traditional blouse fabric called Huipil, with each pattern symbolizing the village from which the woman came. (Colors & patterns vary widely.)

In Guatemala, women struggle through abuse & poverty. But these women are now becoming proud business owners! By utilizing their traditional skills, they are able to create beautiful products that reflect their culture. They can provide for their families at home rather than leaving home in search of work & can also send their children to school to pursue their dreams. This is because people like you purchase their work!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Guatemala!

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

I Live with Depression

If you have been following my journey for a little while now, you probably know that I struggle with depression.

Depression has been a regular companion of mine for the most of my life & ebbs & flows with the severity of its symptoms. Sometimes I just feel worn out & a little out of it, other times I have brain fog that makes me go numb & check out, while other times sink me into a dark hole so deep I fear I may never come back out again.

I always understood depression to be only the last one I mentioned above, but depression takes on different forms in different phases of life.

But one thing I have learned in this lifetime battle is that depression is the devil’s playground.

Sometimes I Feel Like a Broken Human

Depression makes me vulnerable. When at its worst, I feel I lack any value because of how checked out I feel in any given situation. I don’t feel I can be “on” for people—you know, humor people & smile at socially appropriate times & be engaging & fun. I just feel numb—so numb that I feel broken.

The regular me becomes trapped under layers of uncaring numbness from the lack of serotonin &/or dopamine. I am still me, just with a thick cloud of numbness engulfing my passions & ambitions.

Because of this, I feel helpless when it gets bad. I feel stuck & trapped & sometimes like I am drowning.

Misunderstood

And people typically don’t get it—understandably. And they want me to just turn “on” & stop acting that way… when I genuinely can’t.

I mean, I got pretty good at acting back in my first two years of high school, after receiving many “looks” & unwelcome responses… but deep down, I knew I was lying to everyone around me, drowning in it alone… misunderstood.

All of these outcomes of depression often make me vulnerable & insecure… misunderstood.

I want to be what people want from me. I want to be the ambitious, determined, friendly person buried in all the blah, but I just can’t… & again, it makes me feel broken, beyond repair… misunderstood.

Depression: The Devil’s Playground

And Satan knows & sees all that vulnerability & insecurity in my weakest phases of my depression.

He knows the lies to whisper to me late at night, reminding me of the weird looks or responses from friends & family who don’t understand why I have inexplicably changed… why I am not as engaging or friendly or “on.”

And because I am in a vulnerable state during my lows, it’s so easy to believe those lies & that shame… & withdraw, thinking their lives would be better & less of a burden without me in it… that’s why depression is oftentimes associated with suicide, because, if left unchecked, believing all of the torrent of lies satan pours on your head… it can feel completely helpless & hopeless of any relief.

But I have to be on guard even more when the lows make their rounds back again, taking up the armor OF God (Ephesians 6), determining to grasp onto God’s Truth as my lifeline—because it is.

Cling to Truth

I have to remind myself of verses I have learned. I have to remember to pray instead of withdrawing & giving up. I have to be diligent in shutting out those little whispered lies of hurtful stabs to my heart.

Depression is the devil’s playground because he likes to kick when we’re down. He likes to exploit our weak spots & insecurities. He likes to lie & say people are better off without us burdening them with our brokenness.

BUT THEY ARE LIES.

And I have to determine to cling to Truth so I don’t get sucked into the vortex of shame, brokenness, & pain.

God As My Anchor

I have to determine to remind myself that IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.

I have to find a friend who is a safe space who will remind me of that & pray with me through it & not demand I shape up or get out… to sit with me in the lows & not need me to be “on” for them to keep me around.

Right now, I am not drowning. I am not in the deep end.

But I feel it. I feel the claws of numbness reaching out to me.

I feel the uncaring, checked out feelings hovering over me.

And I am determining to not give in to become the devil’s playground… to instead stop, accept my weakness as human & cry out to the almighty God for His mighty hand to hold me & keep me going.

Victory In Jesus

Depression used to feel like a curse… like something I would not wish on my worst enemy. A deep void of nothingness & pain.

But I have grown to see it a little differently over the last few years, as I have learned how much of the pain is from giving in to believing satan’s lies versus the depression itself.

That depression makes me weak & vulnerable, yes.

But that the reality is: we are all weak & vulnerable… trying our best to be strong & capable—getting us into trouble. And depression reminds me of my humanity… that victory comes only in Jesus.

A Curse Turned Blessing

Depression reminds me of my very real human need for God.

Depression reminds me that I am not God… but that He IS.

Depression reminds me of my need to learn & to tuck His Truth inside my heart.

Depression reminds me that I am just human & that that is all I am really meant to be—human.

Depression reminds me of why I need Jesus. I am weak. I am flawed. But I am offered grace because of Him.

I Need Him… & Depression Reminds Me of That

He is God. I am not.

He can. I can’t.

I need Him. You need Him. We ALL NEED HIM.

And our reliance should be on HIS ability, not our own.

So, I don’t hate my depression anymore.

Do I enjoy being reminded of my human weakness? No, not really.

But do I enjoy being regularly reminded of my need for Him? Definitely yes.

It’s Okay to Need God’s Help… Because, in Reality? We ALL Do

If you struggle with depression—with lower-than-normal levels of serotonin &/or dopamine, know that it’s okay not to be okay… that it’s okay to be weak… that it’s okay to need God’s help.

Don’t allow satan to play with your vulnerabilities. Don’t let him lie to you & manipulate you.

Determine to cling to God for help, in prayer. Determine to cling to Truth & God’s armor, as laid out for us in Ephesians.

And don’t let your depression become a playground for the devil.

“God Is Our Refuge & Our Strength… Our Very Present Help in Time of Trouble” (Psalm 46)

If you don’t struggle with depression, don’t expect your friends to always be “on” for you. Let them know it’s okay to just BE sometimes… that you would rather have them with you like that rather than to keep your distance. Be their safe space. Pray WITH them, FOR them—when you are weak & vulnerable & feel broken, sometimes it feels like you’re drowning too much to pray—so pray WITH & FOR them.

You don’t have to know the answers & be what they need, because you know the One who does know the answers & Who IS what they need.

Shine HOPE by placing your cares on Him, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Andean Drop Earrings & Andean Ring

Handcrafted by our newest Artisan partners in Peru, this 24k gold-plated, natural chrysocolla stone ring can be worn alone as a stunning statement piece or paired with our Andean Drop Earrings. Hammered metal & natural variations of swirling green chrysocolla add “Old World” charm to this ethically made ring. Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages in areas of extreme poverty in Peru.

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Parenting Is No Easy Task

Parenting is hard work. It comes with many blessings, for sure, but it cannot be denied that it takes intentional effort & investment into the lives of the littles in your care.

I may not seem qualified at all to talk about parenting, having no children of my own, but I do know that as a fellow human, even without the extra challenges of motherhood, life is hard sometimes & I need God’s help.

Even knowing I need His help, I so often struggle doing life on my own without seeking God’s help right away, & I often see mothers struggle the same way… getting exhausted & losing their cool, sinking in stress, not considering the role God must have in the parenting journey.

I don’t know about you, but it’s much easier for me to react to situations versus prayerfully respond, & I can guess with fair certainty that if I were a mother, that would not immediately change.

God Is with You… Be Still & Know That HE Is GOD

So, I am here to remind you that you don’t have to do it alone.

Even if you have a spouse who doesn’t help out or a father who is out of the picture… even if friends & family don’t come around you… you don’t have to do it alone.

Even on nights where tears of frustration &/or exhaustion are your only companion… you don’t have to do it alone.

Even when the nerves are shot & nothing seems to work & “it’s just the way it is” & it’s the last straw… you don’t have to do it alone….

There IS hope.

Our Struggle Does Not Define Us or Our Lives… God Is Able

Consider my depression. If I am not careful, it becomes my identity, much like mothers who assume the identity of a tired, frayed, can’t-handle-it mom. Our struggles can begin to cling on to our lives like a label of reality we can’t escape.

But God is GOD. He is ALMIGHTY. He is ALL-WISE, ALL-KNOWLEDGEABLE, & ALL-POWERFUL… AND, to top it all off, His actions, His very being is defined by His LOVE.

He can move in the impossible. He can work solutions that weren’t even considered. He can make things happen where there seems no hope &/or no solution.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be able to control every action or behavior. You don’t have to live feeling like a failure.

You have HIM.

Surrender Your Parenting to Him

Surrender ‘those’ days & ‘those’ nights to Him.

Surrender that stress to Him.

Surrender your anxiety & frustrations to Him.

Surrender the “it’s just the way it is” thoughts to Him.

Surrender your parenting to Him.

“HOW?!?” …You may ask….

Pray. Talk to Him about it. Lay it down at His feet, opening up your heart & admitting your struggle & need for Him. Admit to Him & to yourself that where you can’t, He can. Where you see no way, He makes a way.

Bow Your Needs to HIM As Your GOD

Ask Him continually & daily in prayers somewhat like this:

“God, I can’t do this. I feel like a terrible Mom right now. I can’t do anything right. I try to teach them & they don’t listen. Chores never end. I am tired & stressed & just feel like a failure! But You are GOD. I am not, but You ARE. Help me. Give me Your peace that goes beyond understanding. Teach me. Grow me. Help me to honor You in how I respond to this. Help me know HOW to respond to this & empower me to do it right! I react but I want to prayerfully respond in a way that honors You, trusting You to help me in it. Help me learn how to do that. Help me parent. Help me surrender my parenting to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

A Prayer for the Supermom, Too

Maybe you don’t feel stressed with your kids. Maybe you feel capable & strong & like you know what you’re doing. Let me give you another call—surrender that to Him, too.

What seems wise to us is often foolishness to God. It seems right in our own eyes, but we don’t see the whole picture. Only God does. So surrender that capableness to Him, too.

“God, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on this parenting thing, but I want You running the show. I want You guiding my words & my actions & the lessons I teach—not human wisdom… YOURS. Help humble me & allow me to listen for Your guidance over my own. Help me to slow down & bow to Your leading. Thank You for Your patience with me & that You always know best, even when I think I do. Thank You that I can always trust You. Help me trust in that better & to lead with You as my guide… not me. In Jesus’ name, I pray, AMEN.”

The Importance of Intentionally Surrendered Parenting

Some days will be hard. Some days it will feel easier to just not be intentional… to just take a break from trying. Some days you will feel like supermom.

But every day, you ought to surrender your parenting to Him.

Shine HOPE by determining to INVEST moment-by-moment into Your children, raising them up in the way they should go… BY & THROUGH prayer & a surrender to Him in it ALL.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Green Tea & Jasmine Soap Bar

Make every day a spa day for someone you love or make this month a little sweeter & treat yourself to the refreshing natural floral scent & cleansing benefits of our Green Tea & Jasmine Soap Bar from India. Made with essential oils of Green Tea & Jasmine blended with moisturizing natural coconut oil, olive oil, & shea butter, this luxurious soap will delight your senses!

In India, many women in traditional communities still struggle to overcome centuries of gender discrimination. Women are often discouraged from working outside the home. Women with disabilities are often further marginalized by society, making it even more difficult for them to find dignified work & making them even more vulnerable to exploitation by sweatshops. But through your purchase, these artisans are given opportunities to overcome these obstacles & succeed!

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

It’s My Life

Doesn’t it make sense that I would be the main character of MY life? Why would it be any different? It’s MY life, after all… right?

That’s what we grow up hearing, isn’t it? To “live our best life” & “be true to you”. Everything we hear in culture reinforces this idea of it being MY life to live to its fullest.

Even in my walk with learning to lean on & trust in Jesus more each year, I typically frame my life experiences & life lessons around how it grows ME & how it benefits ME.

Now, of course, EVERYTHING God does, from Creation to Jesus is designed for my benefit, but I would be terribly wrong to believe my life is about ME & not about HIM.

Made in His Image

We were made in God’s image… to reflect HIM.

We were made to give Him glory, to glorify Him in EVERYTHING. And as I have talked of this before, this is not arrogance or self-indulgence on His part, but rather gracious, relentless LOVE because He knows that He ALONE is the source of hope we are all seeking & yearning for… the HOPE we NEED—because we ALL deserve Hell & it is our default destination… without JESUS.

So, in giving Him the glory, in pointing to Him as our hope in every situation in life, we are in turn pointing everyone to the only true source of HOPE.

When we glorify God, we point others to HOPE.

And so, it stands to reason that our main reason for existence… our main mission… our ONLY real mission… is to GIVE GOD GLORY.

I’m Missing the Mark

We are not the main characters of our individual lives. We are but the supporting roles to HIS STORY—And until I understand that to my very core, I will be missing the mark.

No wonder the anxiety our culture experiences! A life where we are the main focus leads us ever-searching for that next benefit, next comfort, next thing to give our life meaning & depth & happiness.

But a life that seeks to make it ALL about Him, as the supporting role in HIS story, isn’t concerned about seeking out how it benefits ME but how it benefits HIM.

My self-focus, even in well-meaning “desire for personal growth,” leads also to an ungrateful heart because it makes it all about ME & when something doesn’t seem to benefit ME, it makes me feel snubbed.

Not Easy, but Purposeful

We sing a lot about God being “our Mountain Mover” & how He has a solution & a fix for us, so just keep holding on, etc. etc., but let’s be careful to think about how we frame the context of those phrases.

He of course is a Mountain Mover, but that doesn’t mean His goal is to maintain our certain level of comfort moving mountains to maintain that for us.

In reading the Bible, we can clearly see this is not the reality. People were imprisoned, wrongly accused, betrayed, beheaded, etc. But even when God didn’t get them out of their troubles, “moving mountains for them,” He did give them inexplicable PEACE in the midst of it & moved mountains by reaching the hardened hearts that previously rejected God with hatred. He softened hearts & changed perspectives. Not every mountain moved was to maintain comfort, but to bring HOPE.

He changed lives & infused them with HOPE.

And the disciples didn’t get it easy. They didn’t have everything tied in a pretty bow, made comfortable & easy with everyone loving & accepting them. But they had peace where peace made no sense & they trusted that no matter how little it seemed to benefit them, God had a plan for His glory… to bring HOPE to the hopeless.

Am I the Main Character of My Story?

Let that be my heart cry! Let that be my focus! Let me make HIM the main character of “my” story… because all of our stories are really His anyway.

What does your life speak about Him? What does it tell others about Who He is?

Is He the main character in your story? Or are you?

How does your life point others to the hope He offers through Jesus & when you die, will others know Jesus because of the time you lived on this earth?

Who is the main character in your story?

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Botanica Charms Set

This set of six pairs of versatile jade, Acacia wood, ethically collected bone, tassel, & metal charms are handcrafted in India by Artisans who are committed to fighting child marriage & providing opportunities for women to become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans. Every purchase supports vulnerable women in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win! Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

A Hardening Heart Toward God

If I’m completely honest with you, I have noticed my heart hardening toward God over the last year or so.

It’s not that I don’t pray. I still read my Bible before bed every night. I go to Bible Study with other ladies. I keep up with my blog to honor Him even on days I’d rather be lazy.

I still see Him work in my life. I still ask for His help. I still feel Him near me, caring for me… even when I fail… a lot.

But I have grown cold. Selfish. Hard-hearted. Coveting of spending time the way I want or eating what I want or staying in the bubble of my comfort zone… Living my life for me… & not for Him.

I see it. I feel it. And yet, I don’t want to change it.

I Need to Diligently Spend More Time with Him & Seek after Him

There’s even a nudging on my heart as to the cause of it… a beckoning & a welcoming whisper to the security, safety, peace, & joy I felt when I spent more time with Him. In fact, the more time I spent talking with Him & seeking Him through reading & studying the Bible, the more those things seemed to define the state of my heart.

And I know I need more of it. I know my lack of pursuit of Him is what is slowly draining the joy & peace & eagerness out of my heart.

I need to seek Him more. I need to submit my heart to Him & spend time in His presence, through prayer & reading His Word, the Bible. I need to make HIM my daily focus… Not Me.

But I don’t want to do anything about it.

When My Life Is All about Me & Not about Jesus

It makes me feel ashamed even to admit it out loud that I have started to make my life more about me & not so much about Him.

Consider my anxieties that flooded my life when I heard we’re moving next month. Or the anxiety I feel when I think someone might ask something of me that may take away from my preferred use of free time.

Selfishness has begun to replace a pursuit of holiness.

Those anxieties should have been replaced by humbled willingness to see how they can be used to shine His light & honor & please Him, but all I could think about was the hassle & not having things go my way.

And I know it. And I feel no desire to change it, even though my heart aches & pleads for me to do so, to redeem the heart of peace & joy & love I felt when I did pursue Him more.

I Would Rather Have Hard Times with Him

I feel like the only way God is going to get through to me again is by letting me go through something hard. I feel trapped by the sinful, selfish hard-heartedness I seem to be clinging to.

It’s true that going through hard things is, well, hard. But if it gets my attention back on what matters & shakes me out of this selfish pattern of self-destruction, then I welcome it.

I wish I could recognize that reality, allow that to be all I need, & change course before it happens so I can experience that joy again without the trial first, but I just don’t want to change & I would rather hurt facing a hard lesson & readjust, than keep on this trajectory of self-absorbed destruction.

A Prayer of Repentance

“Lord, forgive me. I am so selfish & self-absorbed. I want my life to be about me, where I am the main character & everything happens to benefit or please me. I want everything to go my way & be comfortable. I don’t want things in my life that don’t cultivate comfort for me. Please forgive me. I don’t know why You even put up with me at this point. How many times must I learn this lesson? How many times do I need to be reminded that You are beyond worth losing literally any & everything? Why must I always cycle back to needing this lesson again & again? I don’t understand Your level of patience & forgiveness & grace & love. I must have long ago used up my ‘deserved’ amount. Please forgive me. Help me find my way back to the peace & joy & eagerness to pursue You in everything I do. Forgive me for making ME the main character, when the main character is, was, & always will be You. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Shine HOPE by trusting that God will continue to pursue you, even when you stop pursuing Him, & by knowing you can always turn around back to Him & find Him waiting with open arms.…

Don’t hesitate to run into those arms.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Journey Backpack

This genuine leather Journey Backpack is handcrafted by Artisans in India who wash, tumble, & vegetable-tan the leather to create a vintage well-loved look & feel. With its versatile, hands-free design, varying neutral shades of weathered cognac brown, & double-stitched reinforced construction, this backpack is a must-have fair-trade “carry-all” for anyone!

Get one for yourself & empower women artisans in India out of poverty. <3

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win! Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Are We Bearing Consequences We Could Have Avoided If We Had Sought God First?

Have you ever considered the consequences of seemingly inconsequential decisions to just act as most do on something versus stopping to ask God first?

Maybe your decision or solution is simply that of what generations of people have always done in that situation–like going to the doctor when you’re sick… maybe it just seems logical & reasonable like seeking an ally in battle… maybe it doesn’t seem any serious offense like pride, arrogance, or rebellion against God.

That’s how it typically goes for me anyway. I don’t think of it as being prideful or distrusting of God–I’m just acting on what I know to do from past experiences or the advice of those before me.

I don’t think of it as pride to go to the doctor when I am sick. I don’t think of it as turning my back on God when I ask for a friend’s help in crisis. It’s just what what one typically does in those situations.

My Hope Is in the LORD! … Do I Act Like It?

But then this little verse in 2 Chronicles 16 just has to throw a wrench into everything I believe to be reasonable.

“Because you have relied on the king of Syria, & have not relied on the Lord your God, therefore the army of the king of Syria has escaped from your hand.” (2 Chronicles 16:7)

Now. I don’t believe God’s intent with this statement was to throw a temper tantrum of rage, but rather to say, “I could have helped you, but you didn’t even ask me… you went somewhere else for help instead, & because of that decision, you won’t get the help you so desperately sought from other sources.”

God is our hope. Not just our SOURCE of hope… He IS our hope.

He wants us to come to Him as our solution, as our top priority, as our first inclination right off the start.

He knows He can help us & He wants us to know it & seek Him for it as well.

Accepting Sin or Accepting God’s Help for Change?

This also rings true in regard to our sinful habits, ones we think are “just who we are.” Sure, if we act on that assumption (that it’s “just the way we are”), rather than trusting God’s way as best & Him as our help, we won’t find anything else to be true, as we rot from the inside out because of our sin patterns that He passionately wants to help free us from.

But, if we stop to think that although, from our very core, we feel our gut instinct inescapably true, that maybe just maybe the God who created the universe might just MIGHT know better & we stop to ask for HIS way & will & help knowing HOW…. We’ll find the solution we seek in Him.

He Needs to be My First Go-To

God alone knows everything & God alone knows every solution, so why is my gut instinct not to go to God first for everything?

Before I search online for answers.

Before I ask a friend for their thoughts.

Before I ask my parents for advice.

Before I go to a doctor or any professional for help.

Before anything, my first instinct ought to be to seek God’s help, wisdom, & direction.

God Knows What I Cannot See

Maybe He knows I will be ripped off by the person I am inclined to seek help from… maybe they won’t have the skill needed to detect &/or prevent an impending health concern… maybe they are just best-guessing based on previous evidences…?

But God? He only does for my good. He knows exactly who I need to go to. He doesn’t have to guess. EVER.

So why is He not my first go-to for help?

How many times has my life been negatively affected because I did exactly what King Asa of Judah did in 2 Chronicles 16 in going to someone or something else before or instead of going to God?

WAIT on the LORD

Those verses to “wait on the Lord” (Psalm 27:14)… to acknowledge Him [as GOD] in all I do (Proverbs 3:5-6)… to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)… to be still & know that He is God (Psalm 46:10)…

They all beckon me to not just pray as an extra measure or as a last resort, but to sit in prayer, to sit in it & wait on Him, knowing I can go elsewhere, but with HIM, I can be certain… that I ought to wait on Him.

I think a big reason I do everything else before consulting Him is the wait. I see a need & think it must be solved now. My gut instinct is not to see a need & WAIT, even knowing a wait for God is more effective than a quick maybe solution.

God has perfect timing & even His wait is because He knows the circumstances that need to line up just so & that rushing it will not allow for that.

Maybe He guides to go to the hospital, but He doesn’t tell you right away because the doctor who will know & see the real cause/need isn’t working the day you ask God for help & God waits so you see the right doctor… we don’t know.

But we can know that HE knows. And He alone KNOWS—even the TIMING... Even when the wait is frustrating &/or scary.

Trust Him in the wait.

Shame on Me

Shame on me for thinking any other person, even a professional, could trump an all-knowing, all-wise, all-powerful GOD ALMIGHTY.

Shame on me for just jumping to fix it myself as if He doesn’t know better & have perfect timing in all He does.

Shame on me for making myself higher than Him in my heart, as the authority in those decisions–even those decisions not to wait.

My Prayer

“God, I know You get it. You know I am so limited in understanding just how powerful & great You are. I know You are patient & long-suffering. But please forgive me for thinking I might be able to fix it sooner/better than You-for making You lower than You are. I’m sorry for making myself god over seeking You first. Please forgive my pride & foolishness. Please forgive me & help prompt my heart when I am doing it so I remember, ‘oh yeah, pray first.. let GOD.’ Help me change my patterns to stop & consult You before anyone else. Help me recognize that You offer Your wisdom to those who ask & keep asking (not asking a lot to “activate” it, but asking a lot as in a determination to KEEP trusting You even when it doesn’t happen when I think it should). You alone are God. You alone know. Please forgive me & help me grow in awareness & humility… & help me change this bad & prideful habit. In Jesus’ loving & powerful name, Amen.”

“Because You Sought ______ Versus Me….”

Is God your go-to? Is He the One you instantly think to go to first?

Is He the first One you trust to have the answer? Even in timing that isn’t your own? –the ONLY One you trust to have the perfect, RIGHT answer? Even above professionals?

Or is He supplemental or a last resort?

How do you treat the need for the help of God? Is it an “ABSOLUTELY” or a “sometimes”?

Take a moment to take stock of those times & lay them before Him in humble repentance, asking for His forgiveness that He is always so quick to give. And ask for His help to humbly do better at seeking Him first in ALL things.

Remember King Asa & Seek the LORD

Remember 2 Chronicles 16 next time you are faced with an opportunity to see a doctor or seek help in some other way. Will you seek your hope in Him? Or will you pay the consequences of missing out on His wisdom, direction, & aid as told in 2 Chronicles 16?

Will you choose to trust Him, or will it be said, “Because you sought ________________, versus Me…”?

Shine HOPE by making Him your first choice & your first instinctive go-to when you need anything in life, big or small. Because He alone KNOWS.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

–> Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week! <–

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves.

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase these studs & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

I Wanna Do It

It’s not easy for me to stop & be still & just know that HE is God.

When I am faced with something difficult, my trust is not so easily placed in the hands of God… I want to fix it… I want a say… I want to help (so it goes my way—as if I can make it happen that way).

I have realized lately just how much this reveals a lack of trust in God… that it’s easy to know I ought to trust God in all things… & quite a bit more difficult to actually rest in that trust when hard things come my way.

I Know What to Do… But That Doesn’t Mean I Necessarily Submit to Doing What’s Right Every Time

We Christians receive a lot of flak for being hypocrites… & often for good reason.

There are areas of my life where I have seen God work in situations I felt were impossible, teaching me to further rest in Him when similar circumstances arise… but when I am faced with something new, for some reason, my gut response is not to recall all of those other circumstances & thus rest in God’s ability, care, & resources… but for me to start anew by trusting myself first.

It’s Terrifying Sometimes to Entrust Someone Other Than Myself

Trusting God can feel terrifying sometimes because it feels that if I don’t do enough, everything will fail… or at least fail by not going the way I want it to.

Why do I put so much stock in my own efforts & care, even when God has proven Himself faithful & much more capable than I countless times?

More Faith in Him… Or Myself?

This journey of embracing my limitations, while simultaneously embracing the limitless nature of God, is no easy task. It requires me placing more faith in Him than I do myself—& with all the many times He has proven Himself capable while I have often failed, you would think I would be much quicker to jump to God for help.

Learning to Trust God’s Plan More Than What I Can See

My current situation is no different. We are moving to Guam, with little option to bring our cat of 9 years (aka our furbaby) with us.

I want to rest in God & know He has a perfect plan in it all, but instead, all I often feel is worry, afraid that His answer will be something I won’t like & wanting to step in & fix it myself just in case that happens to be so.

How little I trust God!

God Knows What I Don’t—And All He Does Is for Our Good

Even in times where His answer was the exact opposite of how I asked Him to help in a situation, in hindsight, I eventually ALWAYS saw His plan as exceedingly better than mine—no matter how hard it was to trust & follow His way at the time.

For example, when I long ago had to say goodbye to my first love in order to follow God’s leading on my heart, it was the LAST thing I wanted to do, but I see now that my heart wanted someone I was not fit for & that my husband now (who, at the time I didn’t even know existed or whether he would ever come into my life at all) ended up being such a better fit for me & I for him.

God KNOWS what He is doing, even when in MY ”wisdom” He is doing something I want to fight back against.

God KNOWS

God doesn’t have to “best guess” it. He doesn’t have to trial & error it. He just KNOWS.

I know I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I know every single person has at least a small area where they hold back or try to self-solve, self-shield, or self-soothe in their own limited wisdom, thinking it’s up to them…. as I do….

But I also know I need to not let that become an excuse & that holding onto this control for myself just leads to unnecessary anxiety, fear, stress, & overwhelm… that it keeps me trapped in the facade that I have any true control over my life, ever on the hamster wheel of trying to maintain what’s not up to me to maintain… instead of learning the true rest that comes from trusting God to KNOW.

God Is Patient… God Is Kind

It’s a process. It’s a failing forward.

I don’t always get it right… I most often DON’T get it right the first however many times.

But God is patient & God KNOWS what to do when I am finally willing to come rest at His feet for help… to place the situation in His hands versus gripping onto false control for myself.

A Journey of Embracing My Limitations

If you met me in person, I am sure my highlight reel would be a tempting perspective of me… but I am no different than anyone else… I get it wrong… a lot… I forget to pray for help & usually just act on instinct first instead.

And I am on a journey of ever learning how to embrace my limitations so I can better rest in the limitlessness of God Almighty & His gracious, capable love.

Shine HOPE by learning to accept that God knows more & better… that He can where you can’t… that He wants your GOOD… that even if His solution seems scary or hard, you can rest in knowing that He has a plan, that He knows what He is doing, & ultimately that it’s even for your GOOD. Amen & amen.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for 4 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Long Chain Necklace (India)

Love long chain necklaces? This is the necklace for you. This silver-tone link-chain design is handcrafted in India & is totally on-trend! Wear alone, double up, or layer together with other chain necklaces from our One World Collection, like our Long Chain Necklace – Gold.

Every purchase provides fair trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Back to the Tropical

Much to our surprise, my husband & I will be moving again this Summer—back to Guam.

People keep asking me how I feel about it, & the best answer I can give them is, “I go back & forth.” Now don’t get me wrong, Guam is a beautiful & magical place to visit, but my personal experience living there wasn’t entirely positive.

Part of my experience there had to do with the demanding work schedule my husband was on, where he was gone so much I felt mostly alone on the opposite side of the world. Another part was that most people our age were so busy that they didn’t have much space for us in their lives—not at all their fault—just the way it was back then.

I felt pretty alone there. And the idea of going back sort of makes me feel like I had finally beat a really hard level in a video game only to have the game glitch & make me replay the level.

A Rough Time Re-Visited?

Maybe these reasons seem silly &/or lame to you, but for someone who didn’t grow up military, lived near family her whole life, had long-time friends, to move to the other side of the globe, with an opposite time zone & no smart phones at the time… it was pretty rough.

When my husband first announced his happening upon this new job, I honestly just felt dread. Anxiety swished around in my brain & I felt overwhelmed & anxious. I didn’t want to re-live the rough time I had there before.

Journal My Thoughts, Face My Fears, & PRAY…

Normally, when anxious thoughts swirl around in a whirlwind of thoughts, I have found that taking out a journal & listing them all out really helps me to face the source of my fears, naming them versus faceless swirls of anxiety.

So, I did just that. I got out a journal, & began just pouring out the anxieties on my heart so I could face each one & let God dispel the fear & encourage my heart to pray over the different things that worried my heart so much.

But, as I did so, most items on that list were things that perceivably just won’t be changing any time soon… & the more I wrote…. The more I thought & prayed over the points on that list… the more anxious I became. So much for that idea!

Rejoice in Affliction??

And I cried. I felt bitter & frustrated & resistant toward the whole situation, wondering why our planned “2 more years in Japan & then back to the states” idea had to change so suddenly.

And as I cried & prayed… God whispered over my heart the words “rejoice in affliction.” (Romans 5:3-5)

That was not at ALL what I wanted to hear from God. How in the world, when I am feeling such turmoil of emotions, am I supposed to have JOY & REJOICE in AFFLICTION?!

My Attitude Check

At first, I was just like, “well, thanks for nothing,” but reluctantly, eventually I apologized to God for my initial bratty response, & asked Him, “God, okay. I’m sorry. You know best… better than me… but how am I supposed to have JOY in affliction? HOW can I REJOICE in affliction? I don’t even see how that can be possible for me so how am I supposed to do it? Please show me & teach me how because it feels impossible to me right now. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Guess what His whispered-over-my-heart response to my prayer was? Two words: “Even if….”

Will I… Even in the ”Even If”?

Even if. Will I choose to praise Him even if He DOESN’T answer me the way I want… even IF He doesn’t wrap up all the details with a pretty bow for me… even IF He doesn’t make it easy for me first…?

Will I praise Him even if…? Will I trust Him even if…? Will I follow His lead even if…?

Maybe you’re thinking, “well, of course you submitted & said sorry & everything got fixed….”

Except, my response went more like: “I’m going to need a few days to think about it.”

I Wanted Everything Wrapped Up in a Pretty Bow for Me

Over the next few days, I was determined I wouldn’t let it go. I was frustrated. I didn’t want an EVEN IF situation! I wanted a solution, a fix, a pretty wrapped-up-in-a-bow deal.

But that wasn’t God’s answer to me. His answer to me remained that two word question: “even if?”

And so began the cycle of crying in frustration upon being reminded of His response, apologizing for being so resistant to Him, to asking for His help AGAIN with the whole “joy in affliction” thing.

They Didn’t Wait for the Fire to be Put Out First

As I prayed, God reminded me of Shadrach, Meshach, & Abednego, how, when they were told to dishonor God or else be thrown into a fiery furnace (to the death), they chose to honor God no matter the cost. (Read the full story in Daniel 3.)

And they didn’t know God was going to rescue them. They didn’t know the “one who is like the Son of God” would meet them in the furnace & keep them from even SMELLING like smoke.

And even before knowing any of that would happen, these mens’ response was: “EVEN IF!”

They didn’t wait for God to put out the flames first.

Their response was: “EVEN IF!”

He Has It Under Control & He Has a Plan… Even If

How convicting. How humbling. How not-at-all-what-I-wanted-to-hear.

It hasn’t been easy for me moving forward with this move, but just in being willing to hear Him out & seek His help in the “even if” & the “joy in affliction” parts, I have seen Him grow in me a peace… not an eveything-is-going-to-work-out-the-way-you-want-anyway peace… but an “Okay God, I get it. Even if. You have it under control & You have a plan… even if.”

Life doesn’t always go the way I plan (big surprise there, huh?) & doesn’t always even go the way I want (anyone else?)… but God has a plan in it, so I can rest in that.

I’m a Work in Progress

I’m still a work-in-progress, but I can trust my anxieties & fears & unmet expectations to an all-knowing, all-powerful, LOVING God.

“So, God, here I am. I’m sorry I am not jumping to trust you in the no-matter-what’s of life, but thank You for being patient, gentle, & long-suffering with me & with all of us. I don’t deserve You, but I am so grateful that I can lean on You when life doesn’t go my way. You have a plan. You are enough. You have it under control. You are loving… even in the “even if….”

Shine HOPE by asking Him to help you know HOW you to even have joy in affliction & how to trust & follow Him, even in the “EVEN IF….”

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over 4 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Infinity Earrings

These pure silver infinity hoop earrings with a subtle hammered-metal finish are handcrafted in Guatemala & are designed to coordinate with many of your other favorite styles from our Living Tapestry Collection. Each earring features a pure silver charm at the top of each infinity hoop that’s embossed with the fingerprint of the woman who made it!

—>Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Guatemala.<—

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Learning New Ways

To be transparent with you all, I have been struggling lately. Not an all-the-time thing, but most likely as a result of removing many of my coping mechanisms I had built in order to handle my depression that were harmful in other ways (time draining or bad food).

Rebuilding heathier habits—as far as my coping mechanisms are concerned—has been a challenge for me & as a result, I have not so easily navigated my depression.

I Don’t Have a ”Why”

With my depression, I am not spinning out of control at this point, but am much more fragile & fall prey to Satan’s bullying much more easily. It has been emotional & confusing because when people ask “Why” for my random cry sessions, I often don’t know how to even answer because I honestly don’t even know an answer for myself.

I also find myself anxious for no reason when out shopping—I’m not nervous about the crowds or anything like that + I really enjoy shopping, even errands… but I find myself having to pulse my grip on my purse strap to keep myself from feeling panic that makes zero sense to me.

I typically, for the last few months, have felt the need to sit in my car for 10-15 minutes whether before heading into a store or even before going back inside once home, watching a few videos on my phone to bolster the motivation to even exit my car.

It’s been weird & hard to explain & without any noticeable reason for it. It’s hard to share because it can’t really be platitude(d) away, & it goes against any logic or reason.

The Secret Tears

Because of these reasons, I was afraid to talk about it, while pretending to smile through episodes so I don’t have to answer questions I don’t know how to answer. Smiling & making excuses to leave the room for “the restroom” or to ”grab a cardigan,” so I can escape to cry it out for a few minutes in private before taking a deep breath & continuing on with my day.

I’m not saying all this for pity, but to let you know that it’s okay to not be okay. God is enough for you both. ❤️

That’s When God Showed Me What I Needed

And when I took some time & prayed for help, God whispered over my heart that His Word is like nutrition for my soul. It may seem like a supplemental snack, but it’s my soul’s nutrition. And I have been consuming a saltine cracker’s worth each day, expecting to have the emotional strength to fight the battles that come through my life.

My heart got the message. I am stubborn & lazy with how I treat God’s Word in my life… acting as if I don’t NEED it.

But I do need it, whether I realize it consciously or not.

God’s Word Is Our Soul’s Daily Nutrition

I often think of God’s Word as an encouragement or even a chance to get to know God better or to know what honors Him or what I ought to be relying on Him for as my help.

But God’s Word, although it ”simply just” seems to be those things—basically a blessing that encourages & teaches us—it is so much more than that. It is our soul’s sustenance. God’s Word is our soul’s daily nutrition.

It’s not an optional, supplemental thing… it’s vital & necessary.

God’s Word Is Vital

Being in God’s Word, the Bible, is not just to get a dose of ”Jesus Loves You,” but also teaches us how to discern the lies of Satan, so we’re not as vulnerable to his lies, harassment, & bullying. It strengthens & bolsters us against his attacks so we can stand strong.

We may have our weaknesses, aside from the attacks of Satan, BUT, Satan is always on the lookout for how to exploit those weaknesses & kick us while we’re down.

And when things in life may go wrong (when does that ever happen?) being consistent in God’s Word keeps us firm & planted, reminding us to fall into the grace of God, through the help of the Holy Spirit. It is our soul’s healthy dose of nutrition.

Are You Malnourished?

If you feel like you’re always running on empty, short-tempered, low on patience… it is most likely a red flag alerting you of your need for more time spent reading & thinking on God’s Word, & talking to Him about anxieties, worries, fears, stressors, insecurities, & anything else.

When we struggle & feel battered by Satan’s kicks while we’re down, it is definitely a good time to take a self-check & some time in prayer to God for help & discernment to see whether or not it’s because we are malnourished with our daily intake of God’s Word.

So, take a moment to ask God for a quick check up to see where your vulnerabilities & weaknesses are currently under attack & ask for His help in being more consistent in reading & dwelling on His Word to help you stand strong when the strong winds of life blow.

My Prayer of Repentance… & for Help

“I’m sorry, God, for my pride & for thinking I have what it takes without Your Word as daily food to strengthen & grow my soul & to protect & guard me against the wiles of Satan’s cunning attacks. Please help me better grow this habit of spending time in Your Word & to honor You with how I consume Your Word—regularly & consistently. Help me better cling to Your strength & Your truth over my own. Thank You eternally for Your faithfulness & goodness to me despite my lacking any deserving for it. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Shine HOPE by understanding that it’s okay to not be okay… & that you NEED the nourishment of God’s Word DAILY in your life so you are ready when both the downs of life & the attacks of Satan may come.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for ovre 4 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves.

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase! 

Purchase these studs & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!