Crushed Confidence

Have you ever done your best to live for God & then just had your confidence crushed because someone doesn’t like you?

I like to be liked. Who doesn’t. But sometimes, that can become an idol in my life that I desire to put above God.

We have to be careful with this sort of crushed confidence because it can come from people we respect as well, people who mean well, & even our leaders or mentors.

It hurts when it happens. We feel misunderstood.

We Don’t Always Get It Right–Failing Forward

I, through many mistakes & failures, have been seeking to follow God most of my life (with definite detours where I thought I knew better—spoiler alert: I didn’t actually know better than God, ever).

This doesn’t mean I always get it right or that I am always good or focused at it.

BUT, it is something I have failed forward in seeking to let God change me from the inside out so I can better live for Him.

And still, this being a core desire of mine—to live for God—I have been met with others who seemed to just not like me (even Christians) or those who seemed unable to avoid pointing out the many ways I was lacking… the many ways I was human.

God Is Patient, God Is Kind–The Perfect Teacher

I have heard the phrase used, “Do not expect someone to grow overnight in an area that took you years to learn.”

The gist behind that phrase is that while all of us who have surrendered to Christ as their Savior for their wrongs, to make them right before God through Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf, WANT to live for Him, we are all learning different things at different times.

God is a patient Teacher. He guides us so gently. He is so wise & kind.

God knows EVERY area where we lack or have a hang up. He sees it all, even the inner battles against temptations to sin & rebel that we either successfully or unsuccessfully resist (success comes in leaning full weight into Him for help until the temptation stops).

And even though He knows all of this more specifically than even we ourselves, He is still patient & loving & gentle as He guides us & when we fail Him.

Graciously Patient & Praying Together for Each Other & Ourselves

But we are not always so patient, especially when it grates our nerves to see a specific lacking in someone else.

We can easily step into the role never intended for us to hold—being the other person’s judge & jury.

And while we are called to help bring attention to each other’s sin to pray over it & help them to weed it out & overcome it by seeking God’s help together… we are NOT called to be hurtful or mocking of them in their failings.

Is It a Sin or Non-Sin Issue We Are Pointing Out?

We are also not called to nitpick people in areas that are not sin-related. That is between them & God.

And even if you have a personal weakness or trouble in that area, it does not mean that they do. We need to trust non-sin issues to God & follow His guidance personally, without inflicting those personal boundaries on others.

We are not their Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit can handle Himself just fine.

Just Not Their Cup of Tea–And That’s Okay

But sometimes, we can follow God with the best intentions, doing our best to love others & confident in how He created us & living out what He has called us to, & we can STILL rub people the wrong way.

Sometimes it’s jealousy & sometimes it’s insecurity. Sometimes it’s sin. Sometimes you made a mistake (you are human, after all). Sometimes conviction is at work in their heart. Sometimes personalities clash.

We are still called to love them.

Comparison Can be the Thief of Joy… Differences Strengthen Us

When someone else is confident & receiving praise, while we are struggling in that area, it can make us feel inadequate or it can make us feel small.

We need to learn to admire someone’s strengths, while not holding the strengths against that person just because their strengths are our weaknesses.

In fact, it is FANTASTIC that we all hold different strengths because together we can lift each other up & we become even stronger together.

Seek to Live for Him… Not for Praise

I get easily hurt when someone doesn’t like me. I don’t always get to find out WHY they don’t like me either.

But God has taught me that it is okay if I am not “everyone’s cup of tea,” as the saying goes.

If I am not living a sinful/rebellious-to-God lifestyle & if I am seeking to LIVE for Him, but someone doesn’t like it… that is okay.

So Many Maybes & That’s Okay

Maybe they have a sin in that area that they are struggling with & are feeling convicted by you.

Maybe they have a blind spot in that area that is being brought to light & it makes them uncomfortable. (That has happened to me!)

Maybe your confidence makes their lack of it even more obvious to them.

Maybe they’re used to having the spotlight & feel threatened by your confidence.

Maybe they’re just having a bad day & it will pass.

Whatever the reason, if you are a human being, you are bound to meet someone who doesn’t find that you’re their “cup of tea” & that, my friend, is okay.

Not a People Please, But a God Pleaser

You are not called or created to please every person on this planet & that is a very good thing because we are oftentimes polar opposites.

We are simply called to keep our eyes on Jesus.

Ask God who HE MADE YOU to be.

Ask God how HE WANTS you to live & follow the Bible’s Truth in trusting obedience, seeking Him for clarification.

Ask God when & to whom you should speak up in truth & love.

Ask God for the right words.

Ask God for courage & confidence, with an undercurrent of humility in understanding that your ability & wisdom is God-made.

Ask God to help your focus stay on pleasing Him with your life—not everyone else.

Talk to Him.

My Prayer in My Hurt

My prayer from last year during a struggle of feeling hurt by this:

“God, please help me. Lately I feel attacked from every angle & it’s distracting & maddening & it hurts. God, help center my mind on You & what You want me to see or do, not on everyone else’s differing opinions about who I should be or how I should act or what I should be doing. Only You. Clear the rest out so I can clearly see only You. Your will. Your patience. Your perspective. Your majesty. Your vastness. Your power. Your love. Your design. Your plan. Your will. Let the flaming arrow attacks swish right by me, while I keep walking Your will & way. Lift the burden of trying to be perfect in everyone’s eyes. Help me be gracious to others who are hard on me & express their will on me. Help me to love them in Your power. Help me to see & trust Your direction. Only You. Wash the rest away. Amen.”

Ask Him, Trust Him, Love Others, & Leave the Rest Up to Him

Live for Him & love others regardless of how they feel about you.

Graciousness is hard, especially when you don’t understand why others may not like you, but God loves you despite your flaws… so be willing to love others, too.

Shine Hope by keeping your eyes fixed on Him as your guide & as the One you live to please with your life.

Leave the rest up to Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain.

This piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!