How We Handle Hurt

Whether we recognize it or not, there are a lot of beliefs about how we should handle our anger & pain.

Some of these beliefs were brought on by trauma & feeling a need to protect ourselves. Some were modeled to us through our childhood & even into adulthood.

Some just became unconscious habits in how we manage pain in our lives.

It’s true that some people “handle” their anger & pain by hurting others, while others may pick up addictions as a way to avoid the pain that plagues them.

Burying It or Faking It

But among many other possible ways of reacting to our anger & pain in life, there are two very common ways of handling hurts that I have noticed in my own life.

I have often found myself either burying my feelings & pretending the hurt isn’t hurting me… or faking it by accepting its pain but not letting anyone else see it.

False Security That’s Hurting Us

Both of these reactions have the allure of seeming safe. We can trick ourselves into thinking we’re just fine & that we’re “handling” it.

We often use these as defense mechanisms when facing anger &/or pain because these two reactions don’t seem to be overtly hurting anyone else & because since we’re hiding our pain from others, no one can use it against us in our vulnerability.

But the illusion of false security leaves us in a prison of hurt that only damages us more over time, while also arguably hurting our relationships.

It’s Still There

Burying our pain from ourselves & from the world does not eradicate it, which leaves us even more vulnerable to pain when it is struck on us again.

The same goes for faking it. When we plaster a smile, hiding it from the world, we are not removing the hurt.

Being “Strong for God”

Christians seem to veer toward either or both of these reactions because we sometimes feel like we must “uphold God’s honor” by pretending we’re stronger than we are.

But listen, God knows we are just human!

We are not any stronger than any other person just because we have accepted God’s grace for salvation.

Not Super Human… Super GOD

Salvation does not make us super human.

If you are carrying a world of hurt behind that smile, please hear me on this… God sees you as you are, you don’t have to try to be strong for Him.

Not Our Own Strength, But His, in Times of Hurt

Here is where SURRENDER comes in to the picture.

Trust. Trust God to be enough when you are not.

Trust that He sees your hurt, your loss, your anger, your pain… & He loves you exactly where you are.

Be Real with God… He Can Handle It

Have you ever read any of the Psalms in the Bible?

The authors of some of the Psalms don’t hold back on expressing their anger, hurt, & frustration to God. Sometimes they even express a wish for someone to die for it! They get real with God in the midst of their pain because they know they can be honest with God.

God Can Take Care of You When All Feels Hopeless

But the authors of the Psalms don’t leave it at there misery & anger… In the midst of their terrible situation, they express their trust in God to handle both the hurtful situation as well as their heart & healing.

You see, we don’t have to carry our every burden, trying to prove that because we’re “a strong woman” or because we’re “Christian” that we can handle everything just fine.

We don’t have to fake it or lash out or bury it or turn to addiction… We can run into God’s open arms, share our hurts with Him & trust Him.

Crying Out to God & Trusting Him Versus Self

Here is an example of how I pray when I feel angry or hurt:

“God, I am so angry/hurt right now that I want to throw this vase into the wall! I feel so [betrayed, blindsided, invalidated, misunderstood, frustrated, livid, etc.] & I cannot control my emotions! They burn inside me & I feel lost & drowning in the hurt that I feel. Help me!

Be my strength because I don’t have it in me to [forgive, apologize, have peace, be calm, be loving, make peace, etc.]. I just want them to hurt for hurting me!

But I know that wishing for revenge doesn’t honor You, so please intercept these thoughts & change them to reflect Your love & grace. Change my perspective & renew my heart. Give me Your strength to react the right way. Give me Your wisdom to do what is best. Give me Your power to follow through in the way that You know is best.

Help me to trust You above the storm of my emotions that rage around me because of this situation.

You are All-Powerful God. You are the All-Creative Creator. You are the Unconditionally-Loving Savior. You know all & have a perfect plan that spans far beyond what I can see. Help me to trust in You above my limited view of the moment. I love You, Amen.”

It’s All About What He Can Do

It’s not about what we can “handle”. It’s not about how “strong” we are. It’s not about “proving” our faith.

It’s all about Him.

His love. His ability. His strength. His power. His wisdom.

Don’t Run Away… Run to Him

So, stop stuffing it. Stop hiding it away from the light of day. Stop aching your strained heart with that smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

Stop fooling yourself that you have to be enough.

Drop to your knees. Bow your head. (Or, just ask Him while sitting in the car or wherever you are in the moment.) And lay the pain at His feet.

Ask Him to take it. Ask Him to handle it. Ask Him for freedom from your secret prison of pain.

It’s All About Him

He doesn’t need you to be perfect for the world. He needs you to show the world that He is perfect although we are not.

Shine a light by pointing to Him. Shine HOPE by pointing back to Him.

He is THE way… THE truth… THE life.

So, let Him bring life back into your heart by turning to Him in your anger & hurt & by letting Him be what lifts you.

He’s got you, Lovely. He will always be enough & more so. He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Check back next Monday morning EST for more encouragement!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

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Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Petal Necklace

This cubic zirconia floral pendant hangs from an antique golden chain & pairs perfectly with the Petal Stud Earrings.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!