I Wanted to be Cool

I don’t know about you, but growing up, I had the driving force of wanting desperately to fit in as my motivation for most areas of my life.

Growing up homeschooled for six of my schooling years, I always saw public-school kids as the standard for cool.

Being stereotyped as under-socialized (even though we had a lot of activities with other homeschool groups) & also teased as having my mom as my only/best friend (now, not as much of an insult, but back then… phew!), I wanted to fit in with what those public-school kids deemed as “COOL.”

And since I got a late start, I felt I was scrambling to catch up.

It Didn’t Stop There

But it didn’t end in those early years. No, I kept feeling I was behind & that if I just adjusted one more part of myself, I would finally achieve this standard of cool that I chased after so awkwardly.

Now, I have mentioned before that I became a Christian (AKA recognized I was a sinner & couldn’t save myself from my wrongs & that I needed Jesus’ payment on my behalf to cover it) when I was around 5 years old, but I thought that meant, “Now I am saved from Hell & I should try to be a good person until I go to Heaven.”

And while that is partially true, it was definitely lacking. I didn’t understand that accepting Jesus doesn’t end with “just” going to Heaven… NO, it is SO much more!

God Calls for Obedience… & He Offers His Help

I didn’t understand that He interacted with me on earth through the Holy Spirit & that I could realize so many more blessings in my life if I aligned my actions with God’s way of doing things.

In my hunger for acceptance & popularity, I neglected the only true thing that would breathe life into my very existence… obedience to God.

In trying to find my life, I was losing it. (Matthew 10:39 & Luke 17:33)

In my quest to fit in, I was compromising what God tells me is true & living by my very limited understanding vs. referring to His infinite understanding.

A Life Defined by Compromising Truth for Popularity

My life was defined by compromise… carefully constructed compromise… compromise that you could easily mistake for living right by God.

So much of life my life was often dictated by popular opinion.

I looked around to see what everyone else seemed to deem as the right normal or the “right level” of being a “good person.”

But God makes it easy for us. Obey HIM.

Look to HIM & NOT to the shifting cultures & shifting ideas of “AHA!” moments where others feel they have finally figured out the trick to life.

God’s Truth is Timeless

God is unchanging. His Truth is timeless. It always works, 100% of the time, based on the infinite, perfect wisdom, knowledge, & understanding of the One who made it all!

Don’t compromise on obedience. Don’t look to what others define as a “pretty good life,” because if it doesn’t line up with God’s Word & what He says, it’s automatically wrong, by default.

I used to read God’s Word, cross something that didn’t line up with my understanding of “real life” or “life nowadays,” & I thought His Word was outdated or that “times have changed.”

More recently, I am learning to read God’s Word & when I come across something like that, I stop & think, “Hmm… that doesn’t line up with my experience of it… God, You say this is true or that it’s what I need to do in this situation, but it doesn’t seem to work, so what am I missing? I know You’re right, obviously, because You literally know EVERYTHING, so help me understand & help correct my view to Yours. I am wrong here & I need help learning the right way, Your way. AMEN.”

God Is the Standard

Not based on culture… but based on God.

Not based on popular opinion… but based on God’s Word.

Not based on what you grew up hearing & believing… but based on what God says is true.

Not based on your experiences… but based on God’s TRUTH.

I don’t want to compromise anymore. I don’t want to strive to fit in with the shifting, unstable standard of culture… I want to stand on what God says & trust/obey HIM above anything anyone else says.

Because they are fallible… I am fallible…

But GOD is Infallible.

Being Popular vs Being Obedient

Seeking to fit in with culture will leave you tired & exhausted & empty & unfulfilled, like something is always missing… like something is never quite right.

But seeking to live by God’s Word, in obedience to it, will cultivate & blossom that LIFE you have been craving… EVERY time, 100%.

So, shine HOPE into this world by determining to live GOD’S way & leave that fruitless popularity contest in the past where it belongs.

Only then will you find LIFE.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Crystal Spring Earrings (India)

Made from genuine sterling silver & chalcedony stone, these 1″ drop earrings are an easy addition to elevate your outfit.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

We Learn Right Behaviors

If you’re anything like a lot of America, maybe you grew up learning & believing in morality.

As children, considering that most of us don’t like discipline, we can sometimes learn quickly how to say the right things & do the right things, all in efforts of avoiding discipline.

Now, discipline is not a bad thing—far from it! God even says that He disciplines those He loves, because He knows that a lack of discipline can lead to unsatisfying & even harmful consequences.

BUT, morality is not the end all, be all in life.

Right Behaviors Aren’t Enough

Morality can’t save us, first of all, from what is owed because of our sin.

Only the payment made by Jesus Christ, on the cross, once for all mankind who believe in Him… only HE can save us from the punishment we rightly deserve for rejecting & rebelling against our Creator God.

BUT, there’s more… Morality alone doesn’t please God.

God cares about the intentions. God cares about the motivations. God cares about having a right heart, too.

“First Clean the Inside” -Jesus

Matthew 23:25-28 illustrates this very point, by calling out the Pharisees on being clean on the inside, but filthy on the inside… reminding them also that God sees their hearts for what they are… sinful.

This is tricky business for me because I grew up as a people pleaser. (I am NOT saying I didn’t get into trouble as a kid… but I AM saying I REALLY cared about looking like a good kid, even when I messed up.)

Because of this, I cared DEEPLY about at least seeming to get it right. I wanted to know what made something wrong so I would know when to not do it. I wanted to know where the lines were so I wouldn’t cross them.

And as Priscilla Shirer puts it, in her Armor of God study of Ephesians 6, “… we sometimes obey God on the outside, while simmering in disobedience on the inside.” (p. 84)

This defined my growing up years.

I Was Deceived

Did I accept Jesus to save me & to cover my sins before God at a young age? Yes.

Did I have the maturity to distinguish then the difference between doing right & having a right heart in God’s eyes? No.

So, my life was defined by moments of tirelessly trying to look like a good person & “technically” doing right on the outside (going to church, listening to Christian music sometimes, & talking about God), but on the inside, I was too often compromising on my flimsy hold to God’s Truth.

In other words, I was those Pharisees Jesus was talking to in Matthew 23. I worked to seem so perfect on the outside, while my inside was teeming with ways to ALMOST obey aka obey just enough to seem good, while still living how I thought was best & thought made me happiest, versus relentlessly choosing to reject everything else (aka my way) in exchange for HIS way in EVERYTHING.

God Cares About the Inside, Too

We can go to church, serve in church, help the homeless, give generously, pray before meals, talk about Jesus, & say/quote Scripture… but until we choose to receive God’s Word as TRUTH & be willing to turn EVERY area of our life to reflect & live that Truth by opening our hearts to be changed from the inside out (by the Holy Spirit working in us)… until then, we’re just living out Matthew 23:25-28.

We can look great on the outside, but reek of a sin-torn, self-led heart on the inside.

And don’t get me wrong, those deeds are good, but they need to come with a changed heart & a renewed mind… a consistent drawing near to God & a willingness to let Him grow you from the inside out.

Because God cares about the inside, too.

Perfect Makes Practice

We can also swing the pendulum the other damaging way & try to be perfect in & of ourselves. What it really requires, in order to work properly, is a surrendered heart. A heart that is willing to say, “Okay God. Your will over mine.”

This week, in this Priscilla Shirer’s Armor of God Study that I am working through, she is talking about the breastplate piece of the armor… RIGHTEOUSNESS… & she points out this beautiful Truth of “Perfect Makes Practice”… That GOD’S Perfection works out righteousness in us, which allows us to practice living righteously.

And a beautiful thing she echoes throughout this week of the study is the fact that we are ONLY made righteous by accepting for ourselves, personally, what Jesus Christ did by paying our debt on the cross.

That trusting in Him is accounted to us as righteousness.

And that because of that trust in HIS work FOR us, it allows us to put on this breastplate that protects our most vulnerable organs for sustaining our life.

And through that, we can submit areas of our life, as we grow closer to Him in prayer & studying the Bible, to let the Holy Spirit grow us closer to God’s way & further away from our own way.

Determine to Draw Close to God & Let Him Clean Up Your Life from the Inside Out

Don’t be content to just look “Christiany.” Determine to surrender.

Faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26!) because if we really believed that God ALONE really knows what He is talking about, as LORD, then we need to adjust & seek Him & His way above our own… in EVERY area of life. And to seek Him to help you have the attitude of, “& if not” (like in Daniel 3).

That, if you pray & don’t feel immediate ease in following Him, that you seek to trust Him so much that you ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to bow to your own way! That you say, “& if He, for whatever reason, doesn’t seem to be making this easier for me, I will choose to obey anyway, because if He says it, it must be true, & if it’s true, I MUST obey & do it His way.”

WHEN It’s Hard… Pray for His Help

“God, I am so weak. I quit so easily. One jab from Satan, one THREAT of a jab from Satan, & I cave. Help this not be so. Help me to DETERMINE to live Your way, NO MATTER WHAT. Anything else is a lie… a trap… that leads to joyless, empty life. Help me to stop fighting You. Help me surrender. Soften my heart to trust You above EVERYTHING ELSE that I convince myself I know better. How can I compare to YOU? GOD Almighty… LORD… Creator? HOW? I cannot. And yet, I still fight You. How fruitless & frustrating & harmful! Help me to be a doer of Your Word, as in James 1:21-24 & not just a hearer only, deceiving myself. Help me not just tirelessly work to be a perfect Christian either, fooling myself again with good works to replace a renewed heart. Help me surrender to You… to submit to You in everything. You are the only source of true LIFE. You even warn us that in seeking LIFE, we lose it… but in giving up that quest to trust & obey You instead, we FIND it. So, help me stop trying to live my way & help me exchange every “my way” area for Your way. I can’t do it without Your help because my heart begs to rebel. I need Your strength & Truth & wisdom. Help me to submit to Your way… aka LIFE as it was always meant to be: blessed & full of abundant life! AMEN.”

Shine Hope

Shine HOPE by determining not just to live “morally” or to appear “Christian-y,” but to allow the Holy Spirit to renew Your heart & mind (notice that this verse says BE transformed… NOT transform–it’s the work of the Holy Spirit, but you have to be willing to do life His way & allow Him transform you from the inside out) as you determine to die to yourself & finally find what it means to LIVE… in HIM.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Truth Earrings

These incredibly light earrings are made with genuine local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

We’ve Been Talking About Sex

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been talking about lust & sex.

If you have any struggles in these areas, when it comes to going outside of God’s boundaries, you are not alone. It’s an area where I have many scars & bad habits that I have had since childhood, where God is helping to restore me & help me see the beautiful gift that sex was always meant to be for us.

God made sex AND He made us… & He alone knows exactly what will hurt us or bless us, so it’s SO important to seek to live His design in these areas, versus our own.

But, God forgives, God heals, & God redeems where we have already failed or missed the mark. He can help us rebuild back to His beautiful treasure of a design that He meant for our blessing in life. So, turn to Him always!

Breaking Harmful Family Cycles

This week, I want to talk about overcoming harmful family cycles & while this may seem unrelated, for many women, it is not.

When we’re little, we absorb so much information, & unfortunately, we absorb the good with the bad, the unintentional with the intentional.

Our parents are human, (ie. they’re imperfect)… just like you are… & just like every other person that has or will ever exist is.

As humans, we may have good intentions, but we fail often. We want to be intentional, but we get tired & sometimes just do what we need to survive through to the next day. And we all make mistakes daily, no matter what social media will lead us to believe.

Because of this reality about humanness, our also parents made mistakes, despite maybe their every effort to do their best for us. And, even if subconsciously, we often absorbed those mistakes as our reality.

“Lord, Search Me & Know Me… See If There Be Any Wicked Way in Me”

That is why it is monumentally important for us to pray this simple prayer that we can see in Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, & know my heart; test me & know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, & lead me in the way everlasting.” (emphasis mine)

We need to be praying this prayer, as modeled for us in the Psalms, because we are ALL imperfect! AND, we were ALL raised by imperfect people, in an imperfect culture.

Too often, because we adopt the ways of our parents as our own, we live our lives & raise our children based on our personal upbringing as truth, never stopping to consider if it should be done any differently.

In other words, we do what is expressed in Judges 17:6 & Judges 21:25, “… Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” (emphasis mine) How convicting this is for me!

Or, in Proverbs 21:2, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, But the Lord weighs the hearts.” (emphasis mine)

What We Think VS What He KNOWS

We need to be turning to God to help us know the line between what we THINK is true, based on how we were raised, & what is ACTUALLY TRUE based on the full knowledge, understanding, & wisdom of our Sovereign, Eternal, LOVING LORD.

There are so many things in my life that I had taken as truth, even unintentionally taught to me just by my immature young eyes observing my parents in their own human weaknesses. I was too young to distinguish between acting in humanness versus acting in Truth.

Parents will never be perfect. They CAN’T be perfect.

But God IS perfect… in literally EVERYTHING… & He offers His help to us.

Intentionally Feeding Myself Truth

So, I have learned some things around this fact:

1. I need to be learning God’s Word, so that I am training my heart & mind with discernment about Truth.
2. I need to be praying that God help me not rely on my own understanding, but to turn to Him in & for & through everything.
3. I need to give grace to myself & others, because we were not made to be perfect… we were made to need God’s help

Parenting with Purpose, Grace, & a Whole Lot of God’s Help

These realizations are things I am tucking away in my heart, in case God blesses us with children someday. A reminder to not act on emotions or fears/anxieties, but to lean into Him in everything & to demonstrate that necessity to my children.

I would want them to know I am not perfect & that I am not their answer… I would want to teach them how to go to Him for the real Truth.

All That He Is

Because I will fail, but He cannot fail.

Because I am weak, but He is strong.

Because I don’t know everything, even in the areas I think I do, but He does know everything & has infallible wisdom & understanding in all things.

Because I won’t always be able to be there for them, but He will never leave them nor forsake them.

And the same goes for a life without children: I won’t always get it right, I fail sometimes, I am weak, I don’t know everything (even when I think I do in some areas), & someone won’t always be around when I need them (But God will be).

Cling to Him

I need to learn to not rely on my own understanding, but to ask Him to reveal to me where I am believing in & living based on lies or even human understanding.

He never fails.

He is always strong.

He never gets it wrong.

He alone knows EVERYTHING with perfect understanding & wisdom.

He is always with me (& you) as our Comforter, Healer, Friend, Counselor, Father, & Almighty, Loving GOD.

God Sees Our Blind Spots

You & I may not see where we have misinterpreted truth based on our upbringing. We may not recognize where we’re believing wrongly about something.

But God sees & God knows.

And God has the power & wisdom to help us recognize it, to redirect us to truth, & to help us move forward the way He designed.

So, turn to Him in the big & small, turn to Him when emotions threaten to make your decisions & guide your actions for you, & turn to Him to help you see where you’re stuck believing wrongly.

He holds the answers that you seek… ALL of them… So, shine HOPE by going to Him for EVERYTHING… & break harmful family cycles for the generation to come.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Amie Bracelet (Haiti)

This elegant charm bracelet from Haiti will add a splash of color to any outfit with its multicolored hand-rolled paper beads dangling from an adjustable chain.

Artisan Information:

Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. Many children are “poverty orphans” with loving parents who want to keep them. Your purchase provides sustainable income, so mothers can keep their babies.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Haiti!

Also Shown: Sunrise Bracelet (pinkish-Thailand), Rani Bracelet (blue/orange-India), & Moonstone Hoops (India)

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

The Chains of Lust

Last week, I talked about lust… the silent, secret destroyer.

I mentioned my own battle with it, my justifications of it, & the damage I saw it cause in my own relationship with my husband… & why we really should trust God when He says to avoid it.

It’s easy for me to find the “loophole” of good moral behavior on the outside, with good intentions on the inside, while still seeking to please myself, my way… & thus hurting myself.

When we try to find “loopholes” in God’s laws, we’re not just hurting Him, but ourselves AND others, even if we’ve convinced ourselves, &/or others, of our innocence.

Let’s Talk About Sex

But let’s be clear… God made sex.

God designed sex to be ENJOYED between a husband AND wife (aka it’s not just for the man).

God even had a whole chapter in the Bible written about sex.

In other words, God cares about sex.

Sex Is Also Meant for the Wife

Through my journey with temptation to lust or fantasize, I have noticed also the cry/lie that sex is not meant for women, but to keep the husband happy.

This often leads women to seek satisfaction from other means, like erotica, pornography, romance novels, fantasizing, or stuffing down their desires, leaving them bitter & cold to their husband’s desires.

But what if we, as women, stopped turning to our own “solutions” as seen above, & started trusting that if God made it for husband & wife to enjoy together, that God can help repair & restore that design the way He meant it to be?

What if we stopped settling for sin &/or accepting our own dissatisfaction?

What if we trusted God’s design instead?

A Treasured Joy between Man & His Wife

Media & culture often presents sex as careless, reckless, meaningless, passionate, too-perfect, easy, empty pleasure.

God designed sex to bring a husband & wife close with intimacy, enjoyment, oneness, as meaningful, connected, & fulfilling pleasure.

I used to believe the presentation of sex in movies, that it didn’t mean much & that if you felt off or yucky or cheap or used or dirty afterwards, that was the exception, not the rule.

But sex was never meant to be carelessly thrown about. It was meant to be a treasured joy for a husband & wife to share.

Not Meant to Leave You Feeling “Icky”

I didn’t have sex before marriage, but even with the “messing around” that I did, I was left feeling icky. I felt used & cheap, even though I encouraged it to happen.

I kept thinking that if I just toughed up, I would finally achieve the joy from it that everyone else seemed to have, but I was always left feeling empty & gross.

God’s Design Vs Our Design for Desires

A friend of mine did not wait until marriage to have sex & she shared this with me to share with you:

“On sex before marriage—my experience—I didn’t understand sex. My view of sex was distorted & perverted [from God’s design for it]. I did not know what God’s design for sex really looked like. On top of that, I was rebellious & I gave in to all of my lusts & desires. In the end, all I was left with was heartbreak & an emptiness. The culture wants you to believe—Satan wants you to believe—sex before marriage, casual sex, is more satisfying, but Satan is a liar & he wants to deceive us.”

Sin Never Delivers What It Promises Us

Sin NEVER delivers what it promises. It NEVER satisfies truly. It leaves you feeling empty & gross, because it’s sin.

That’s why God tells us to avoid it, because He made us & knows exactly how we’re wired, no matter what culture (or Satan) tries to tell you that contradicts God’s Word.

God knows what will bless us & what will hurt us.

We need to fear God in the sense that He is SO FAR ABOVE us & MADE us & KNOWS literally EVERYTHING… & His Word should be trusted & obeyed, even if we’ve convinced ourselves that the world’s way (or our way) is better.

Because the world’s way will always leave you wanting… empty… searching… looking for more….

But God’s way satisfies completely.

Not Without Temptations

That doesn’t mean we won’t be tempted. It doesn’t mean our flesh won’t scream for instant gratification & beg us to believe the world’s view on sex because it seems easier to access… but knowing it won’t actually fulfill us & thus turning it away to ask for ONLY God’s way is the first step to finding healing & TRUE satisfaction.

I have been fighting this fight for two plus years now (against the temptation of turning to fantasies) & struggled with it for years before I realized how much damage it was causing me… & when I look back at myself, then addicted to fantasies & lust, always going to that versus my husband, how empty & unsatisfied & even bitter I felt… to now seeing breakthroughs of healing, trust, satisfaction & contentment…. I would never want to go back to my old views because they left me so bitter & empty.

God Made Sex

Again, God made sex.

God designed sex to be enjoyed between husband AND wife.

God even had a whole chapter in the Bible written about sex.

In other words, God cares about sex!

Only God’s Way Truly Satisfies

If you are unmarried & seeking satisfaction via sex or fantasies or lust or erotica or pornography or romance novels, etc., I will tell you right now that the longer you seek to find satisfaction there, the emptier you will feel over time.

If you are married & feel unsatisfied in the bedroom & therefore seek pleasure via sex elsewhere, or fantasies or lust or erotica or pornography or romance novels, etc., I will tell you right now that the longer you seek to find satisfaction there, the emptier you will feel over time.

Ask for Mercy… Receive Mercy… Do It God’s Way

Turn to God. Surrender your chains. Ask forgiveness of your sin.

God is slow to anger & quick to mercy.

God’s mercies are new every morning.

God is quick to forgive us our sins.

God is able to do immeasurably more than you can ask or even imagine.

God made you. Turn to Him. Trust His design & turn away from your own.

Only Jesus can satisfy you & everything else is but a cheap imitation… a mirage of false hope.

Shine HOPE by taking any sexual sin to God & by no longer conceding to give in to seeking out satisfaction your own way.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs (from India)

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

The Poison of Lust

Since I have recently been sharing specific chains I wrestle with in my life, I thought it would be a good time to focus in on one of them that I struggled with a majority of my life, (yes, even as a pre-teen): LUST.

I was taught in church early on that sex was meant for marriage & was taught this in such a way that it strongly discouraged me from considering sex as a youth.

While I appreciate not having had that particular baggage going into my marriage, I wish this topic had been expanded on a little better, because it left some loopholes that set me up for some addictions I have struggled to shake off my whole life.

Scars of Addiction

Because sex before/outside of marriage was so strongly discouraged at church, as is God’s design, I experienced little of the scars that inevitably arise as a result of disregarding God’s design… scars that so many of my friends have since confided in me about.

But I was not immune to scars from a different source: the growing addiction to fantasies & lust.

I, as human, struggle with a sin nature. I may have accepted Jesus saving me when I was pretty young, but I still struggled: spirit against flesh.

The Righteous Façade

And because I misunderstood God’s character to be all about rules as a Christian, versus His handing us His DESIGNED Truth in the Bible, I grew up pretty “moral” (on the outside).

I learned quickly how to appease parents & Sunday school teachers & church friends by adapting to what was considering “right” behavior… & as long as I felt I displayed that “right” character well enough, I thought my inner thoughts didn’t matter too much.

God says otherwise.

The Secret Struggle

Lust has always been a weak point for me & Satan knew it. He also knew that I incorrectly viewed righteousness by God’s design as “acting like a good person”, making me vulnerable to other attacks of temptation to do things that seemed “less wrong.”

Much like many American women, I secretly struggled against lust.

Many women indulge in pornography & erotica, but little is talked about it.

That was not my particular battle, since both were strongly warned against by my parents at a young age, but instead, I created my own in my mind, using imaginary people in my imaginings… thinking that made it completely okay & following all the right rules before God.

I was wrong.

Matthew 5:27-28 may have been addressing men, but it applies to women as well when it says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

God Knows. God Loves. God Commands–For Our Good

I had been wanting a loophole & Satan gladly provided me with one.

But this “loophole” wasn’t really a loophole at all, because God is not a God of, “JUST MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ALL MY RULES IF YOU WANT ME TO ACCEPT YOU!!!” But rather, “I gave you these rules because I know literally EVERYTHING, because I designed EVERYTHING & I know perfectly the best design for how EVERYTHING works best. AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER COMPREHEND.”

In other words, did my loophole hurt God’s heart? Yes. Was it a sin against Him? Yes.

It hurts Him because He gave the command FOR MY GOOD & when I don’t trust Him & obey it, I will always end up getting hurt AND hurting others, & He knows it!

How “Innocent” Lust Hurt Me

So, that “loophole” I had roped myself into of not sleeping around & not lusting after actual people… that “loophole” I thought would protect me… DIDN’T. I still got hurt.

It taught & gave me unhealthy standards of love.

It made me think sex was all about the physical & not SO MUCH MORE.

It made me think it was a means to an end, versus an intimacy-growing experience with my husband.

It made me insecure, like maybe my own husband just saw me as a means to an end, versus a wife he cherished & adored.

It made me unable to relax because it wasn’t fake AKA perfectly catered directly to everything I wanted in every way & at every moment.

It left me dissatisfied & disappointed when I had the real thing available with my husband.

It left me addicted. I realized later that because of that 25+ year addiction, I really did struggle not viewing my husband as a means to an end in that area of our marriage, versus the one I truly cherish & adore.

It was a thorn in our marriage that lasted for a big chunk of it so far & I didn’t even realize it was the cause!

God Knew. God Forgave. God Healed.

And God knew all that. He knew the effects of some sin was so subtle that I may not even notice how it was hurting me, but that it WOULD hurt me. So He, in His all-knowing wisdom, TOLD ME (us) NOT TO DO IT.

I wrongly thought it was innocent.

I thought my thoughts were just my thoughts & therefore harmless.

I thought I was alone with my thoughts & that they couldn’t hurt anyone else.

But God knew they were hurting me & as extension, hurting my husband, even if I couldn’t see that they were.

Don’t Turn a Blind Eye to Sin

God had told me “NO.” And I did it anyway because I thought I had found a loophole.

Ladies, the “loophole” is not worth it.

The romance novels… the pornography… the erotica… the fantasies you make up in your own mind… even if they’re not real people… whatever it is you go to… it’s NOT worth it.

It may be easy to justify that “but it’s not sex,” but God doesn’t just warn us about & tell us not to indulge in sex outside of marriage, but also SEXUAL IMMORALITY.

God Can Help You Find Victory to Break the Chains & to HEAL

God also tells us He can help us escape temptation if we are willing to submit & turn to Him for help rather than clinging to our sin & pushing His help aside.

His way is best. Always. 100%.

It’s not about Him trying to be right. He just IS right.

He is not puffed up & trying to show you He’s a know-it-all. He just IS. He literally DOES know it ALL.

So, when He says His THOU SHALT NOTs in the Bible, it’s REALLY Him saying, “I designed & created this world. I know your weaknesses & your vulnerabilities. I know what will hurt you or benefit you. I know EVERYTHING because I existed before time itself. And knowing everything, I sent My Word to be written by men, but inspired by Me, so that YOU would ALSO know how to rest in my loving guidance in all things. All you have to do is trust Me… & obey.”

Why do we fight it? Why do I fight it?

He is always right.

He always knows & He always knows best.

My Prayer Over LUST

“Lord, thank You for revealing this sin in my heart through these past couple of years. Thank You for shining light on it & exposing my actions for what they are: SIN. Please forgive me. Forgive me for excusing it away & justifying it through my “good intentions” & desire to display “good moral behavior.” I didn’t want to listen to You starting back all those years ago as a pre-teen. I was selfish. I was arrogant to think You didn’t know my heart’s true condition. You knew I was just searching for a way to look like a good person while still getting away with whatever I wanted. And now I am wounded & have needed Your healing power & wisdom to heal the wounds on my marriage from this cancer growing within it. Thank You for all of the progress You have made happen as I walk with You through it these last couple of years. Thank You for the healing You have given me in this area undoing the damage I inflicted on myself by choosing my way versus Yours for so many years. Help me keep fighting with Your strength. Break those chains. Thank You for the victory You have been giving me in this area over the last year, as You’ve been exposing my sin to me & helping me weed it out of my life. I know I still fail at times, but I see You working in me to build a defense against it the more & more I lean into You through it. Thank You that You care about my marriage & the intimacy that is unique within a marriage. You are a beautiful Master Designer. Help me cling to that masterpiece of a design & to reject anything else that threatens it. Your way or bust. Thank You for helping me & for being so loving & patient with me every step of the way. I love You, always, because You first loved me. AMEN.”

Shine HOPE by kicking the excuses out, (kung fu style), & by clinging to God’s design instead, receiving His help & healing every step of the way!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Crystal Spring Earrings (from India)

Made from genuine sterling silver & chalcedony stone, these 1″ drop earrings are an easy addition to elevate your outfit.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

A Faith Displayed by Action

I have heard a lot of different sermons about the verse in James 2,”Faith without works is dead.”

I understand that if we claim to really trust God, we have to be willing to do what He says, trusting that He always knows best.

I also understand that if we’re NOT willing to do what He says, it speaks very little of any faith we might have or claim to have in Him.

Faith Without Obedience Is a Dead End

But it never actually clicked for me that this simple phrase of, “faith without works is dead,” also denotes this idea I have been wrestling with so much lately, that if I have faith enough to ASK God for help overcoming something, it does absolutely nothing for me if I am not also willing to OBEY & follow through with the solution He provides.

With my FAITH, I need to also be willing to OBEY & faith WITHOUT obedience is a dead end.

I can believe in my heart that God is my only true source of hope for healing, wisdom, & power to help in any given situation, but UNLESS I ACT on that faith, it does me absolutely NO good.

That has been my story.

My Story

I have learned, “Wow, okay… God really DOES know everything & has the power to overcome ANYTHING. HE is the source of hope I have been searching for in this!”… to, “So, I need to learn to pray about EVERYTHING! JUST like He tells us to do!” … to, “God PLEASE help me in this!” … to hearing His gentle nudge, an offering to provide me the wisdom or solution I seek, but I hold up my hand & say, “NOPE!”

WHY?!

Why do I resist Him? And why does it seem insurmountable NOT to resist Him?

My Own Roadblock

I am allowing myself to keep on my chains because those chains are all I have known & I crave them like an idol in my life… & removing them means leaving my comfort zone… even if that comfort zone has been hurting me for so long.

(It sort of reminds me of the Israelites, spoken about in Exodus, complaining as they wandered in the desert, wishing they could go back to being SLAVES in Egypt, versus now-FREE men who COULD ask God for help in ANYTHING, but just spent their days merely complaining instead.)

And it’s like in Proverbs 26:11, where it says, “as a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly”…

I am that dog always returning to my vomit.

I stay trapped because I refuse to OBEY in my faith in God.

Hear me on this, I AM MY OWN ROADBLOCK.

Climbing Uphill Through Molasses

And yet, it feels like I’m climbing uphill through molasses when I try to change.

And that’s where surrender comes in… I need to SURRENDER my chains to His help.

• Whether it’s addictions to eating out or eating convenience…
• Whether it’s skipping exercise because going from stop to go feels so hard…
• Whether it’s filling in every bit of free time versus sitting in stillness with God…
• Whether it’s fantasizing for a quick fix versus growing in intimacy with my husband, the way God intended it…
•  Whether it’s skipping caring for my home because my tv or phone is more entertaining & easier…
• Whether it’s missing out on a FULLER LIFE because of all of these chains versus TRUSTING GOD TO HELP ME OVERCOME THEM.

I have so many chains around my neck, dragging me down & keeping me STUCK.

I Know I Need Him… Now I Just Need to Let Go & Take His Hand…

I have learned to pray about my chains… I have learned that just like the disciples in the boat, as told about in Matthew 8, with the waves crashing around them, fear over-taking them, & Jesus reminding them that He was still in control & a reminder to trust Him… I have learned I NEED to go to Him.

But I also have learned that I NEED to be willing to SURRENDER to His help instead of clinging so tightly to those chains that keep hurting me when He offers His help.

I need to OBEY His call on my heart to leave those chains behind, to take His hand, & to step away from them with His help.

Surrendering to God Is Not Defeat… It’s VICTORY!

I need to SURRENDER.

Surrender seems a word associated with defeat, but with God, surrender leads to the VICTORY we cry out for so desperately… because we aren’t surrendering to a malevolent invader, but to a benevolent & Almighty KING Who counts us as one of His dearest children… exchanging our chains for His riches & goodness.

SURRENDER is VICTORY.

Crying Out to God for a Heart Change–My Chains in Exchange for True Satisfaction in Him

“Lord, I feel trapped. I can try to blame addiction, but I am the real obstacle. My flesh is weak. I want those things I am chained by. I know they hurt me, but I long for them because they’re easy. But they never satisfy me long. And then I search for them again. Like the woman at the well, in John 4, whom You told that anyone who drinks from You will never thirst again… YOU are the ONLY thing that can truly satisfy me. Everything else is empty & fleeting & comes with hidden thorns. Help me trust You enough to not just call out to You for help, but to CLING to You & SURRENDER to Your help. Even if I have to slump to the floor in defeat to keep myself from running to the chains I always cling to & BEG You to keep me from going back to them, HELP ME PLEASE. I don’t want to live in these chains forever. You are the true Overcomer. Help me cling to You & be willing to leave everything else behind. Help me. AMEN.”

Shine Hope by SURRENDERING to His help in breaking your chains.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Anika Earrings

These silver-plated hammered Anika Earrings are made in India where they get their name from an ancient Sanskrit word meaning “grace & favor”. Add some fun to your wardrobe with these lightweight statement earrings!

Artisan Information:

Women in India still face widespread discrimination that often leads to poverty & exploitation. Your purchase provides opportunities for women to earn sustainable income through creative expression as fair-trade Artisans.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Let’s Follow Up

So, how are you doing with being still with God?

I know we talked about this in last week’s blog post, but it’s something I feel so terrible at that maybe if I keep talking about it & keep reminding myself I need it… maybe, just maybe, I will stop being so stubborn & just bow my heart to His goodness. And stick with me, because there’s a little more to it.

Why Would I Resist It?

When I stop & think about it, it really does seem pretty silly (coughfoolishcough) of me to even struggle in this area.

But let me be clear, this is not just a struggle to shut down the quiet, it is an addiction to wash out the quiet… It is me not being willing to slump before God & ask for His help because it feels so much easier & immediately gratifying to numb over it.

It’s sin.

I hate to call you out on that if you struggle with it, too, but that’s just the plain truth of it. I don’t like to or want to admit it, but in reality, it is me refusing to give up that ease & comfort of instant gratification for the better that God has in store for me if I surrender to that stillness with God.

What Stillness with God Can Do

God meant & designed stillness with Him to be for our good. It will refresh. It will renew. It will bring healing. It will help us feel closeness with God. It will help us recognize His deep & unconditional love for us. It will boost our confidence (in HIM). It WILL.

But instant gratification is what I have grown up expecting & turning to. Bored? TV. Restless? Phone. Quiet house? Video games. I want to feel good NOW.

And NOT covering up that restlessness & NOT filling every void immediately, is NOT instantly gratifying. In fact, it feels like extra WORK.

I Want to Indulge! I Don’t Want to Listen to God!

And this isn’t the only area of my life where I do this… FOOD is another area I struggle with because I don’t WANT to stop & give up my cravings by asking God to help me with them. I WANT to INDULGE!

And when I was journaling the hindrances to me taking better care of the body God has given me, after writing out a whole list, I came to the realization that the overlying reason I am not improving like I could is because I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP MY INSTANT GRATIFICATION OF CRAVINGS!

In other words, I KNOW God CAN & WOULD help me… BUT when I am given the opportunity to ask for His help in either being still or making food choices that will more greatly benefit me in the long run… I CHOOSE to ignore His gentle nudges & I FILL my “need” for INSTANT gratification.

It’s sin.

I am CHOOSING to ignore Him because I want what I want instead.

My Selfish Greed, Disguised

This was quite the blow to my lingering, ignored, & relentlessly justified self-righteous view of myself in that, “Oh, but I DO want to change! I DO!” While, when given every opportunity to change WITH GOD’S HELP, I might add… I brush away that little loving nudge (God’s offer to help) & I do whatever I want anyway.

Ouch.

Big ouch.

And now I must face this fact about myself… this selfish, self-centered, stubborn fact about myself… this SIN.

My selfish greed, disguised as good intentions that I never actually act on when given the opportunity & help from God.

Confession to God & Asking for HELP Overcoming My Selfish Heart

“God, You knew this all along about me. I kept “crying out to You to help me” learn to be still… to help me learn how to just be still & KNOW You are God & spend time with You… to help me make better health choices… all the while, whenever You offered Your capable & loving help, I shrugged You off & did what I really wanted instead. God, as Paul said in his letter in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” It’s frustrating how simply & easily I am tricked into dismissing You for what hurts me instead. How easily fooled I am by my own selfishness & greed. Please forgive me. Help me give this up, even if You have to pry it from my fingers. HELP ME! I am so selfish that, in the moment, when caught off guard, I know I will immediately grab for quick, easy, immediate gratification. I don’t want to live like that forever. Help me! Break me so You can build me up the way I was designed by You to be, without my sin destroying it. Help me overcome this hurdle of selfish greed. Help me humble myself at Your feet & be willing to loosen my grip so I can give it to You & depend on You instead. You are so much better & so much more satisfying than immediate gratification. Your way is meant for my good. Help me, please. AMEN.”

Reflection:

If you’re honest with yourself, do you have an area in your life where you do this, too?

Do yourself a HUMUNGOUS favor & be willing to pray that prayer from Psalm 139, ”Lord, search me & know me… See if there be any wicked way in me.” Not because HE doesn’t already know those areas (because, trust me, He does), but because sometimes WE are completely blind to our own faults & the strongholds that keep us imprisoned.

Shine Hope by shining light on those areas you maybe refuse to give up to God, by asking for His help in doing so… & then in asking for His help with VICTORY over them, like only He can do. <3

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Inverted Capiz Earrings

These earrings feature shimmery, creamy white capiz shells, each framed by a black edge.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Stillness

So much rest & peace is represented in that one word: Stillness.

And yet, it seems near impossible to me on most days… & I don’t even have kids… or a full-time job.

This idea of stillness is often equated with restlessness & boredom to me.

I hate boredom. I eat to avoid boredom. I binge tv to avoid boredom. I waste away entire days on stuff that doesn’t really satisfy or fulfill me from a desperation to avoid boredom.

And yet, that’s not the evoked feeling that was intended when God spoke in Psalms, “Be still.”

Be Still & Know

The powerful Truth in that simple statement is one that is meant to refresh us & comfort us & to assure us that God has everything under control.

It’s a reminder that we’re not made to be able to do it all or handle it all.

It’s a reminder that we are made with limitations… but that He is NOT.

It’s a reminder that we were MADE to NEED HIM.

“Mary Has Chosen What Is Better, & It Will Not Be Taken Away from Her.”

This simple command to “Be still & know” reminds me of Jesus’ response to Martha, in Luke 10, when He visited Mary & Martha. Martha was upset at her sister Mary for not helping with hostess duties. But Jesus gently responded that Mary had made the better choice & that it will not be taken from her.

Mary’s choice? To sit at Jesus’ feet, soaking up His presence & spending time with Him, learning His words & enjoying time with Him.

I Fight Stillness

In that retelling of Mary & Martha with Jesus, I feel like I would be their unknown other sister Michelle (fits because we’re all ‘M’ names, right?), who wants to avoid the stress the duties bring, while also too restless & impatient to sit still & just be with God… wanting instead to time-fill as much as possible, avoiding everything.

Can you relate?

Being still with God is SO HARD for me. I will grab for my phone or the tv remote or game controller or iPad or music or food or text someone or call family or just crawl in bed & avoid it ALL… before I would EVER think to stop & JUST be still with God.

It’s not easy for me at all.

My Stubborn Self-Solutions

That’s why I am completely terrible at abusing a lack of intentional prayer time. Instead of putting aside all distractions to be still with God, I grab for the nearest distraction I can find because stillness makes me restless.

Oh yes, I pray throughout the day, talking to God in my heart over simple things or lifting up requests or praises to Him… AS I am going about my day.

But BEING STILL & just being content to SIT with God? To be STILL with God? NOPE.

I am learning that I can’t continue this way, grabbing for the nearest distractions to fill the empty space.

I NEED that rest. I NEED that reset. I was designed to NEED that stillness… because I was designed to NEED God.

My Desperate, Resistant Prayer

And to be honest, sometimes recognizing that need, in contrast with my strong distaste of restlessness, manifests itself as me having to slump to the floor in surrender to my fight & saying, “GOD, HELP ME! I KNOW I need You! I KNOW it! But I just CAN’T do it! I feel such an impossibly strong pull to fill up the empty space with devices & noise & distractions & it feels impossible to JUST sit. HELP ME. Please. I don’t want to keep giving up. I don’t WANT to be controlled by this addiction to distractions. I WANT to learn how to be still. I WANT to spend time with You. I WANT to be consistent in decompressing & letting You take all of my little nagging insecurities & inadequacies & areas I don’t know how to move forward. I want to stop compressing them & avoiding them & trying to soothe over them. I want to trust YOU with them. I want to recognize YOU ARE GOD. Please help me fight the “NEED” to fill time even if it means slumping to the floor & babbling through a prayer. I want to want You more. Help me stop avoiding stillness with You. Help me embrace it. Help me embrace You. AMEN.”

Letting Go & Letting GOD

I wrote this week’s blog post. I was almost done with it. But I felt the push to hit select all & delete. So, I did. Because I was flowering it more than my reality.

And I had to kneel on the floor at the couch & ask God to help me not just want to quit it all.

I am no wise person with all the answers who gets it right all the time. I am weak & rebellious & self-centered. I avoid my problems rather than turning to God with them. I avoid stillness with God because the stillness makes me uncomfortable.

I am a work in progress.

I Was Made for Stillness

I need Him & that’s okay because I was MADE to need Him.

And so were you.

I need to stop avoiding things that bring me discomfort & I need to stop trying to soothe over them with ignorance… I need to LEAN INTO God & ask Him to help me face what needs to be faced in each day… even if that means that I need to put everything down & on pause… & just sit & be still & know that He is GOD.

So, be praying with me… for me & for yourself… to be willing to BE STILL with God.

Shine HOPE by taking that time to BE STILL with Him & know that HE IS GOD.

Amen & Amen.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Grace Earrings

These earrings feature gold plated metal around local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

I Believed a Lie

Why did it take me most of my life to read my Bible consistently, although I trusted in Jesus when I was still a child?

Aside from being naïve to the fact that I could ask for & receive help from God when I didn’t feel like reading (whether from stubborn rebellion, sickness, bad attitude, distractions, lack of time, not wanting to “be told what to do,” etc.) was this subtle lie that has misguided me on countless occasions… All or NOTHING.

I Didn’t Know I Was Believing a Lie

It wasn’t until recently, in the last few years, that I began to even recognize this as a lie or that it was even something I actually believed without being aware of it, which is why it is so important to pray often the much-quoted biblical prayer, “Lord, search me & know me. See if there be any wicked way in me,” (Psalm 139:23-24) because sometimes we’re so fooled that we don’t even realize we’re living based on a lie.

I certainly was…. It made sense to me.

What Is the Lie?

So, what do I mean by it? What is the “All or Nothing” lie?

Quite simply what it sounds like…. Satan convincing us or us convincing ourselves that if we can’t do it all… then we can or should do nothing.

The “All or Nothing” Lie

Do any of these sound familiar to you? They’re all things I have reasoned in my own mind many more times than I care to admit.

“I don’t have time to read 3-4 chapters a night to accomplish reading the Bible in a year. It’s just too much to commit to. It overwhelms me… so I am going to stop reading.”

“I don’t have the time nor the focus to sit still & pray for 30 minutes to an hour. It’s just too much for my attention span to handle! So I won’t take time to pray.”

“I can’t complete all of these lessons for the ladies’ Bible study because I have been busy… so I’ll just not go to the study group at all this week.”

“I can’t possibly solve the world poverty problem & every time I buy something that supports artisans working to be empowered out of poverty, it reminds me of the much greater need & it stresses me out… so I am going to stop buying that stuff.”

“I overeat sometimes, binging on junk food, so I am just going to quit trying to taking care of the body God has designed for & given to me because my failures discourage me too much.”

I Didn’t See It for What It Was

Do you see the pattern in those statements… that if I can’t do it to my expectations, I should just not do it?

Well, for so SO long, I DIDN’T see that pattern at all & I still struggle to recognize it for what it is sometimes.

These reasonings made sense to me. I couldn’t live up to the expectations others put before me (or the ones I placed upon myself after seeing that particular honorable habit modeled in someone else’s life) so I would just not do it at all anymore.

And so often, that’s exactly how Satan operates. Satan likes to convince us that because we can’t do it BIG, we shouldn’t do it at all.

But instead, what if we FIRST asked for God’s help for a starting point & also help in sticking with it… & just start SOMEWHERE with SOMETHING, even if it’s small!

Flipping the Script… Turn it to “All or SOMETHING”

When discouraged that you can’t keep up, try saying instead:

“I don’t feel like I have time or focus or energy to read that much of the Bible at a time, just starting out or for the season of life I am in… but I know that any that I CAN read will benefit me AND honor God, so I will read just a little every day & ask for God’s help in sticking with even that.”

“I don’t feel I can commit that much uninterrupted time praying, but I know that God hears me whether using the restroom, showering, laying in bed, driving, etc. So, I will ask God to remind me consistently to come to Him first in all things big & small for help, leaning into Him through all the highs & lows of life & coming to Him for all requests & praises when it crosses my mind. Any prayer will benefit me & honor God, so I will make a point to at least PRAY in the small moments I get.”

“I don’t feel I can complete my lessons this week for Bible Study, but I will ask God for timing & focus & motivation to do at least what I can of it & if I still fall flat, I will show up anyway knowing that the fellowship will lift me up & the conversation will remind me to come to Him in anything.”

“I can’t solve world poverty/starvation problems, but I can help as God presents me with opportunity. Even a small help is a big help to the person it benefits. So, I will ask God to help me see what my part is & be ready to follow His lead in that part & leave the rest in His hands, praying for those who still suffer.”

“I struggle taking care of my body consistently because of gluttony, versus seeking that fulfillment & satisfaction from God. So, I will ask God for forgiveness & that He help me keep doing little GOOD things for my body even when I fail sometimes.”

Where Have You Believed the Lie of “All or Nothing”?

What examples can you add to those above? Where are you believing the lie that because you can’t do it the way you feel you “should,” that you should just not do it at all?

Where do you need to just START, even if just a little at a time… & where do you need to ask God for help in doing even that small thing?

Shine hope. Start small & let God help you grow as you go.

SUGGESTED RESOURCE:

Something that helped wake me up to this “All or Nothing” lie is the itty bitty book, “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. This short book shows the perspective of demons conversing with one another, deliberating how they might deceive the person they seek to destroy. It was eye-opening & helped teach me to pray for discernment far more often than I was beforehand. Check it out on Amazon, here, or Thriftbooks.com, here.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Anika Earrings

These silver-plated hammered Anika Earrings are made in India where they get their name from an ancient Sanskrit word meaning “grace & favor”. Add some fun to your wardrobe with these lightweight statement earrings!

Artisan Information:

Women in India still face widespread discrimination that often leads to poverty & exploitation. Your purchase provides opportunities for women to earn sustainable income through creative expression as fair-trade Artisans.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Trying to Find My Place

Have you ever felt like you don’t measure up to anyone else’s expectations?

Do you ever feel like the oddball? Or is it just me…?

Maybe you feel too loud… or too quiet.

Maybe your interests don’t seem to line up with anyone else’s & you feel like you don’t quite “fit in” anywhere?

Maybe you never were that good at sports or maybe you lack a green thumb or maybe your craft DIY projects look more like a 3-year old who got into the craft supplies.

Maybe everyone else seems to mingle with ease, while you stuff your face with whatever food they have to offer, sitting as far away from the awkward social interactions as possible. (*coughdonethatcough*)

Have you ever felt like the “ugly duckling” of the group? Like you don’t fit in & don’t measure up & just don’t belong anywhere?

I have. Oh, I have.

I grew up feeling super shy. I know, some of you may not believe that, but boy is it true!

I was so desperate to fit in & “belong.”

“Do You Like Me? Check Yes or No.”

I remember being in 4^th grade & I felt so ashamed that I didn’t have a crush on anyone because that seemed to be the talk of every girl on the playground, so I picked a guy at random whom I thought was cute & would “gush” about him so I would feel part of the normal girl crowd.

Lame, I know.

Don’t worry… On the last day of school, since I no longer would have a playground circle of girls discussing their current crushes… I wrote him a note that said I decided I didn’t like him anymore.

OUCH, I know… but honestly, I think he was probably quite relieved because boy were my “love” notes LAME. “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” He ALWAYS checked NO… or more like circled it several times, highlighted it, & drew several arrows toward it. (Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but sadly too close to reality, haha.)

My Super Power Is Being Socially Awkward

Maybe you’re thinking, “Well Michelle, that was 4th grade. EVERYONE was awkward at that age.” Well, I wish I could say it stopped back then.

It’s ridiculous the things we can do to be liked, isn’t it? And trust me, the examples of mine did NOT end in 4^th grade, although I REALLY wish I could honestly say that they did.

A majority of my most embarrassing moments, which I can usually laugh about now, were due to me just trying too dang hard to be liked by everyone else.

“Please Like Me!!”

Even my dating years consisted of me trying tirelessly to be the “perfect” girlfriend while trying to NEVER assert my own opinions or feelings, afraid to be considered too much of a burden.

I kept my real self locked away & I tried to be everything they could ever want: flirty, fun, supportive, good listener, funny, laughing at their jokes, agreeing with everything, trying to match my interests to theirs, wanting so badly to just be accepted & wanted, not realizing I wasn’t even giving them a fair chance to do so, locking the real me away.

The silly things we do to be loved. And wanted.

Trying Too Hard

I used to hear things about God’s love for me & never really got it. I would hear that my “identity is in Him & not in me trying to be enough.” I didn’t know what that meant either.

A majority of my life can be summed up by me trying to be what I thought everyone wanted or expected from me… always feeling like I never quite got it right.

Basically, the phrase “trying too hard” was an accurate summary of my life.

It makes people uncomfortable when they can tell you’re trying too hard. And yet, I didn’t feel I was good enough on my own & was always over-compensating.

The Things We Do to be Liked

Maybe you read this & think, “Michelle, you are exaggerating… I have NEVER felt this way about you!” Well, thanks for lying… haha… but really, some of you may be thinking, “Oh yeah, I definitely have gotten that vibe from you. This explains so much.”

But, while I still struggle with insecurity & feeling like I fit in sometimes, I have grown SO MUCH in this area because of one beautiful & simple thing… I started understanding those 2 things I mentioned about God & how that impacts where I “FIT.”

Where We Stand with God

I think a lot of us who grow up in church take for granted “churchy” phrases they may have heard their whole lives, while never really grasping their significance or even their meaning, while those who don’t know Jesus just have no clue, period.

So, let’s take some time to hopefully remind us all, including awkward, lovely me, where we stand with God… to hopefully help us overcome this strong, pulling desire to be liked, wanted, & to fit in with those around us.

How Do We KNOW God Loves Us?

Let’s start at the beginning… the before-the-world-even-BEGAN, beginning. Our Alpha & Omega God.

God knew He was going to make you even then. He knew all the ways you would fail, in the small & big things. He knew. And yet, not only did His plan to make you remain, but He also made sure there would be a plan in place, through Jesus coming to die on our behalf & rise again victorious, to make you right before God again & restore that relationship FOR you. Our Creator, Redeemer God.

Then He made Earth, full of beauty & all you would need to survive, sustaining you & helping you to live a life of JOY. Beautiful sights to behold: sunsets, waterfalls, flowers, animals, stars, oceans, mountains, fish, birds… Smells that delight the senses… Textures that comfort, relax, refresh, invigorate… Sounds that soothe, uplift, encourage, comfort, surprise… Tastes that make you mmmmmmmm. He made all that possible for you to enjoy. Yes, it is broken by sin, but there is still SO MUCH beauty to enjoy. Our Wise, Creative & Lavishing-of-Love God.

How Do We Determine Our TRUE Identity?

Then He made YOU, individual, unique, crafted by hand, knit together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-16), designed by GOD. He made not only humanity, but YOU… specifically YOU. Your identity is wrapped up in the fact that He made you with a design & a purpose that He worked out for you ahead of time & that you will discover more as you lean into His guidance & lead… Our Creator & Father God.

AND, He sent Jesus to die on your behalf, before you were even born, so that when you realized your need for Him, He would be ready with open arms to welcome you home… Jesus having paid the price of your rebellion & mistakes & all you have to do is ACCEPT that gift to you. Your identity is wrapped up in His grace for you, paying your debt & making you whole once more. Our Redeemer, Rescuer God.

With You Every Step of Life

AND, He had the Bible written for you. His Word. To us. Instructions, advice, & a story laced throughout with love & redemption for a people prone to wander. A people like you & me. His grace is His message (John 11:25). We can TRUST His Word & OBEY it because it was ALL meant to show us what is the BEST of life. A life lived with trusting love for our All-Knowing, All-Wise, LOVING God.

AND, He doesn’t stop there. He HELPS you with that plan He has just for you… your unique story, written by God. He offers His GRACE. He offers His wisdom & strength & hope & peace & love & joy & guidance & He makes a way. He is MASTER of the IMPOSSIBLE. He turns ashes to beauty (Isaiah 61:3) & He works ALL THINGS together for the GOOD of those who love Him & are trusting His way (Romans 8:28). Our Author, Sustainer, Helping God.

The Grand Splendor Awaits!

And when you die, if you have but accepted God’s fully paid for grace, through Jesus’ sacrifice on your behalf, you are welcomed with OPEN ARMS into a place called Heaven, where there is no more death, no more tears, & no more sadness or grief (Revelation 21:4). A place full of wonder & awe, praising this all-powerful God who loves us so incredibly much. Our King of kings, Lord of lords GOD.

And that is why you can accept His love for you & trust that He’s got you. Because it’s not based at all on whether you are good enough, but that HE IS.

Far Beyond Understanding, But Fulfilling Beyond Words

He LOVES you beyond anything we can ever understanding & so far outside anything another person could try to mimic. He sees you completely, past & present, hidden & revealed, pride & shame, EVERYTHING… & He says, “I love you. Come to me.”

How much FREEDOM this gives us! Hallelujah!

I don’t have to be what I think others want of me… I just have to be who God MADE me to be… & if I don’t know what that is because my whole perception of myself is built up around what others have expected or told me… trauma & fears… & all my mistakes… I (& you) can go to Him & ASK HIM.

Asking God How HE Made Me

“God, I don’t know how you made me, to be honest. This person says I need to be like this & culture says I need to be like that. Friends all do this & society seems to believe this… I don’t know what’s true about me anymore. I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM. God, please show me. If You MADE me, then ONLY YOU would really know who I am & who I am meant to be. Help me sift through the lies. Help me to see the truth… Your design. Help me know how to trust You. Help me see the me You made me to be. I am tired of always trying to live up to everything. It’s exhausting & confusing & feels so fake. Help me know the truth. Set me free from expectations. Help me have the confidence to stand on who YOU say I am & not need anyone or anything else to define me or give me my worth. Help me, please, Father, Creator, Loving GOD. Help me. I love you. AMEN.”

I prayed that more times than I can count growing up. I got so tired of the game to fit in. I didn’t know who I was. I was lost & tired of holding up the façade I thought others expected from me.

I URGE YOU… pray similarly. If you have resonated with a single thing I’ve said today… pray that prayer.

His Word & Design Trump ALL ELSE

Let HIM shape you. Let HIS design define you. Let HIS love for you, a love that could never be used up or exhausted, let it FILL YOU.

You don’t need to impress me because the God who made you is so overwhelmed with love for you that He made you, knowing you’d leave Him, set a plan in place to redeem you, & has a story written singularly just for you, WITH HIS HELP as you lean into Him, all wrapped in His love, strength, hope, joy, grace, wisdom, understanding, & power.

He’s got you, babe. Oh, how He’s got you!

Stand in Confidence!

Let Him love you & then shine His grace to this hurting, bleeding world. It’s THE most valuable use of life to shout the praises of the One who made the world, saved the world, & loves it in His infinite grace, welcoming us all to come & accept His beautiful design & to dismiss the rest of that mess in which we tend to cling to so tightly.

He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bombolulu Earrings from Kenya

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!