Learning to Lean on God in Suffering

I haven’t been feeling well, so this will probably be a short post this week, but I wanted to still get on here & hopefully pass on some encouragement to you.

Sometimes God gives you exactly what you ask of Him when you’re in need, to show you that He is able to provide your every need, but sometimes He doesn’t, because He wants you to recognize that He is your true & only need.

God’s Impossible Peace

Being sick recently has only been a reminder of living through both the super typhoon on Guam, as well as the 2 months of sleeplessness I endured months ago. In my crying out to Him for help—for the end of my struggling—He didn’t remove the struggle, which frustrated me for sure, but it taught me that when the suffering didn’t end, He was right there in the suffering to comfort me & give me strength.

It’s a strange thing to both recognize how miserable & weak you are & still feel a sense of okay-ness about it—like God’s got you even if things don’t get any easier.

I guess it all goes back to His impossible peace, (read about that, here: “How You Can Have Impossible Peace”) which He supplies when we learn to rest in Him. It’s “impossible peace” because it makes no sense & shouldn’t be able to exist in the midst of your current circumstances—& yet somehow, there it is to carry you through.

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Having “Even If” Type Faith

I will be the first to admit that I hate suffering. I want my comfort zone like my life depends on it… which is why I have gone through some pretty bad pits of spiralling despair—like in Hokkaido when I begged for an easier time & God did not supply that relief. I didn’t understand then that God wanted me to learn to find my hope in Him rather than in the end of my struggling.

Having an “Even If” type of faith is not easy (read more about what it means to have “even if” faith, here: “Even If…”), because sometimes it means accepting that the hard will just keep on coming… that you will continue to feel weak & incapable & at the end of yourself… but the truth is that we cannot control our circumstances, that hard will come whether we like it or not, & that God never promises easy… so you have a choice in that—to turn to our source of HOPE or turn away from Him & struggle without His comfort, love, strength, & care to see you through it with His peace.

A Quick Encouragement on Finding Hope When Suffering Doesn’t Seem to Stop

Even knowing all of this, I still struggle choosing Him. I want the hard to just stop & feel frustrated, hurt & sometimes even angry when He doesn’t make it so.

But every new hard is an opportunity for me to practice turning to Him instead, even if I don’t understand why He allows the suffering… so I can see that while I hate the suffering, He is always sufficient in it.

What will you choose next time? Or maybe you’re facing suffering right now?

Choosing to Turn to God When the Hard Doesn’t Stop

My sore throat has made it hard to swallow with the swelling & painful irritation… so sleep has eluded me for most of 2 nights now, plus continued pain & discomfort & trust me… I am so over it! I just want the constant pain, discomfort, & sleeplessness (& nighttime sobs) to end so I can feel like myself again—I’m even visiting family for the only time this year!

But I am going to make conscious effort to say, “God, I may hate feeling this way, but over the last 2 days, in my suffering, discomfort, inconvenient sickness, & pain… I have seen You show up & help me maintain an attitude that allowed me to still make happy memories with the family we are visiting rather than wallowing in despair from the constant pain. You have given me strength & have comforted me when I felt comfort was going to be absolutely impossible. You have given me peace when the pain annoyingly persisted. I would love for you to end this pain right now, & ask You now to that end—please take away my pain—but if not, help me to remember that You really are truly sufficient when the suffering continues on. Thank You for looking out for me, even when I am so tempted to write You off in my sometimes overwhelming frustration & temptation to turn away from You or demand my way. Please forgive me for my obstinate desire to depend on myself alone. Thank You for always being quick to be there for me & with me through the hardest times in life, even when my attitude sometimes proves less than deserving. You are faithful, even when I am not. You are a Good God. Thank You. Please continue to care for me & help me through this sickness & PLEASE heal me or point me to relief somehow. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.

Shine HOPE by determining to turn to God as your hope rather than solely seeking the end of your struggles & suffering as your source of hope.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

July 2023 Hope Mail (India)

FOR A LIMITED TIME – Only available during the month of July!

Who do you know who would love a beautiful package filled with hope in their mailbox? This exclusive July Hope Mail package makes a great gift for any occasion! Why not treat yourself to a little inspiration? Enjoy free shipping on this July Hope Mail package that includes our Kalina Earrings from India, Orange Sun Kissed Lip Balm from India, and an encouraging sticker mailed in a stylish Fashion as a Force for Good Envelope.

Imagine the joy of opening this July Hope Mail package and discovering these eco-friendly fair-trade earrings! Artisans in India handcraft these vibrant, cheerful Kalina Earrings. Each statement earring features a gold-tone hammered triangle with a hand-beaded, color-block pattern in turquoise, bright coral, and yellow. Every pair of Kalina Earrings helps to end child marriage and keep families out of the slums of India!

Add a touch of artisanal style to your skincare routine with the Sun Kissed Orange Lip Balm while creating fair jobs for women ending poverty cycles in India. Handmade from sustainably harvested beeswax with a sweet and fruity orange scent, this moisturizing lip balm helps naturally heal dry skin.

Inspire yourself or someone you love with this exclusive, vinyl, Trades of Hope Lotus Sticker with the encouraging message, “That dream was planted in your heart for a reason.”

***Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops and human traffickers.***

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Inner Dialogue Versus Prayer?

Are you someone like me who has inner dialogue with yourself all the time?

I mull over things. I stress trying to come up with answers. I worry, wondering how something could work out if I don’t come up with answers. I think over every angle & how I can fix something when nothing seems to be going right.

I rehash uncomfortable or hurtful conversations, trying to figure out where I went wrong or why the other person said what they said or how I could have handled it any better.

I get frustrated when inconvenienced or when I’m the victim of outright rude behavior & then I go through all of my could have, would have, should haves, knowing the moment has already passed. I get annoyed & inwardly fume at whatever they did that was hurtful to me.

I daydream. I create whole worlds in my head that I can escape to when I don’t have a good book on hand. It’s how I soothe when bored or restless.

I try to soothe myself or justify my reaction in my head or talk myself out of or through whatever I am feeling.

I sit in guilt when I mess up. I mull over it & stress about it & kick myself, beating myself up when I make a wrong choice with my attitude or behavior or reaction for the millionth time that day.

And in all of those things, I ought to be talking to God about it instead.

Turn My Thoughts to Prayers

That’s a hard thing for me to come to terms with. I mean, I know God is always listening—He always hears me—& I know we’re supposed to “pray without ceasing,” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) but I guess it just comes so naturally to just think it over in my head versus acknowledging His presence is with me in every situation.

It’s much easier to do all of the above & then talk to family or friends about it than to remember, “Oh yeah, God… You’re right there, aren’t You? You saw that. You heard that. You know how to & can help me… so let me bring it to You.”

But it’s more than that, isn’t it? Because somehow I want to feel capable or feel I ought to be able to figure it out as a grown up adult. I guess because turning to Him instead takes faith & it takes practice & surrender. It takes letting go of control & giving it to Him instead.

Have Faith in the GOD Who Loves You!

Going to God instead of handling it myself takes faith because I have to take a step back to recognize He is GOD—& I am not. He literally knows EVERYTHING. He SEES everything. He HEARS everything—even thoughts. He also has perfect wisdom & cares about me.

He cares about me. There’s another place of needed faith…. That He cares enough to step into my little (or big) issue & help me. That He is never too busy because He is infinite. That He can’t be diminished, no matter how great or little my need. That whatever seems “just the way it is” to me is never impossible to change for Him… & that whatever change He determines is needed… is for my actual good.

He can do anything without diminishing any of His power or God-ness AND He loves us more than we can comprehend. It should be easy to put faith in Him in everything. But it takes letting go & letting HIM.

Fail Forward, It Is Worth It!

And it doesn’t come naturally. It takes practice. I have to DETERMINE to turn to Him in my mind & heart to hand it over to Him for help. It takes practice.

“I’m sorry, Lord, I’m doing it again… having a conversation in my head & trying to figure things out when You’re right here willing & able to help. Please forgive me. Help give me direction, wisdom, & peace. Help me to better trust You & help me to come to You more immediately next time. Amen.” This is a prayer I have learned to start praying whenever I find myself self-dialogueing versus talking to Him about it in my heart, acknowledging that He is right there all the time.

I need to TRAIN my brain to acknowledge Him & turn to Him in ALL things.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:6)

Surrender, Surrender, Surrender!

But, & this is probably the biggest hurdle of them all—it takes surrender to talk to Him instead of myself. I have to admit I need help. I have to give up control. I have to let go of the limitations that really are my comfort zones because they allow me to justify not moving forward when I don’t think moving forward feels possible or comfortable or fun in that area.

I have to give up being the main character in my story & admit I am a supporting character in HIS story… HIS-tory.

And not only that, but sometimes quite frankly I feel justified in how I want to think about a situation or circumstance.

Rude interaction? Rude response in my head.

Frustrated about life? I want to figure out how I want it fixed.

Am I willing to have faith? To let Him be GOD in my heart & thoughts?

Am I willing to practice turning my heart to Him in all things? Even when it doesn’t come naturally to me at all?

Am I willing to surrender my way or my feelings for His lead & His way?

That’s what prayer is really. That’s how we can pray without ceasing… because it’s a matter of turning to Him in every natural thought & asking Him to help you exchange it for something that better honors/pleases Him versus yourself. It’s a matter of SURRENDER.

Do You Talk to Yourself More Than to God?

So what is it like for you? Do you talk to yourself more than to God? Or does it come naturally to you to turn every thought to Him as if He is a friend always by your side, everywhere you go, who can read your every thought (because He is that Friend).

Or are you like me & you need to work on it quite a bit? Maybe put more faith in His ability & His care for you. Maybe it’s just a matter of needing to practice it because it doesn’t come naturally to you to acknowledge His ever-presence. Maybe it’s a matter of surrender, where you want a little of the control or feel the need to be in charge of how things turn out or how you think things OUGHT to turn out.

Or maybe, like me, it’s a little bit of all three of those.

Shine HOPE by turning your thoughts to Him in ALL circumstances, recognizing that He is ever-present with you everywhere you go & He cares for you, too—more than ANYONE ever could. He gave Jesus for you, so be careful ever doubting His deep care for you even for one single second. He LOVES you! Amen.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Raffia Earrings (India)

These stunning Raffia Earrings feature an oval blue glass bead and a circle of raffia fringe with an embroidered seed bead center, hanging from a hand-hammered brass stud. Make a fair-trade fashion statement with these beautiful earrings, handcrafted in a workshop in India committed to fighting child marriage and helping women become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

How Often I Take It for Granted…

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a Christian home. I have been going to church since before I was born.

I accepted Jesus at 5 years old & I have had the influence, comfort, direction, & hope of the Holy Spirit with me ever since.

Sometimes I take all of that for granted… sometimes it’s easy for me to think that because I didn’t have years of living in sinful revelry beforehand that maybe the cost for my redemption wasn’t all too large.

But I’d be wrong… SO wrong.

And the older that I get, the more I can accurately see just how wrong that is.

Not Because of Me…

I am a sinner, saved by the GRACE of God, through Jesus Christ. (Romans 3:23; Romans 6:23; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 5:8; Isaiah 53:5; John 3:16-17; Romans 10:13)

How? Not by my efforts, but because God loved me (“the world”) so much that He sent Jesus to pay the debt penalty I owe God for my sin. (John 3:16-17)

When I was just 5 years old, as I was thinking about what I had heard in Sunday School & reading the simplified words of my children’s Bible, it dawned on me… I was mean to my sister sometimes… & God calls that sin. I didn’t always listen to my parents… God calls that sin….

And sin… hurts God… it makes Him angry… it makes me an enemy with God. (Romans 8:6-7)

Which means I was God’s enemy. I was going to go to Hell because I was not in fact good because I hurt God with my sin.

And it was at that moment all the pieces came together in my little child heart—THAT is WHY I NEED Jesus!

Set FREE!

So, I ran to my parents’ bedroom & asked how Jesus can save me, too, because I don’t want to make God mad at me & I don’t want to go to Hell.

And because my parents helped me understand that God loved me (and the whole world) so much that He knew I could not be good enough, so He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to pay my penalty before God, taking the punishment of my sin on His own shoulders & dying on the cross to pay my debt so I could be debt-free before God… I accepted the covering of my sin through the gift of Jesus’ sacrifice that very night at 5 years old.

I am a sinner, saved by the GRACE of God, through Jesus Christ! (Romans 3:23; Romans 6:23; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 5:8; Isaiah 53:5; John 3:16-17; Romans 10:13)

GOD Condescended HIMSELF for US!

Jesus was not stopped by death. He rose again (Luke 24:6-7) as He was both fully man (aka He felt all the pain of His sacrifice both in His body & His heart) (Matthew 26:39; Mark 14:34) AND fully God, conquering death, as well as the sins of the world, so that ANYONE who believes on Him through the admission of their guilt before God & a turning away of their way for God’s, calling on Jesus as their Savior… they will be saved. (Romans 3:23; Romans 6:23; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 5:8; Isaiah 53:5; John 3:16-17; Romans 10:13) God condescended Himself for US!

Because Jesus did not come to the world to condemn the world, but that through Him all might be saved. (John 3:16-17)

I take all that for granted somehow. I forget the weightiness of it. The sacrifice. The fact that GOD was willing to condescend HIMSELF for ME. GOD! LORD of ALL! For ME.

For you.

If GOD Saved Us… Why Give Us the Law in the First Place?

You know what it’s so easy to get hung up on? The law. Love. How they can possibly go together.

I’ve been talking a lot lately about my sin of silence… of how the truth sets us free… so shouldn’t we be bold in sharing it? Is it really loving to keep quiet about sin? To try to downplay it?

Do you know why God gave us His law?

Not to control us… He offers us everything when we come to Him.

Not to earn anything… His grace, through Jesus, is a free GIFT.

So, why?

Because, as His Word—the Bible—says, to make us aware of our NEED for HIM. (Romans 7:7; Romans 3:20)

How Do YOU Justify Sin?

Do you live in a way that God calls sin? Do you justify it & stuff it & say, “it’s only uncomfortable because people try to make me feel bad about it”?

Do you recognize the fact that if God calls it sin then He didn’t MAKE you so you CAN’T sin. It is something you CHOOSE… to have your desire met your way as your ultimate priority over pleasing or honoring your Creator, Savior, Almighty GOD.

The fact of the matter is that God tells us the beginning of wisdom is fear of Him because it’s saying we ought to ultimately recognize God as GOD… & that we are not. (Proverbs 9:10)

Did you know that God says He wrote His Law on ALL OUR HEARTS so that we are WITHOUT EXCUSE? (Romans 2:14-15; Romans 1:18-20)

That nagging little doubt… that question in your spirit… that ick you try to cover & hide & pretend isn’t there… it’s because your spirit KNOWS it’s wrong. It KNOWS because it KNOWS who is really in control & whether the WHOLE WORLD approves your sin or not, you will still have to fight that ick because it won’t go away. It can’t ever go away.

Without Jesus.

“Living Your Best Life”

Don’t be fooled into complacency, into the lie of “living your best life.”

“For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:25-26)

“The heart is deceitful above all things.” (Jeremiah 17:9)

“The heart is desperately wicked.” (Jeremiah 17:9)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

God showed us His love in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:16-17)

Without Jesus, there is no real hope, my friend. There just isn’t.

Judgment Day Will Come-But Grace Is Offered Now

And judgment day will come, whether or not you want to BELIEVE with all your heart that it won’t… it will.

And you will have all of your sins laid out before you, not a single secret one hidden from the all-seeing, all-knowing eyes of God. (Romans 2:16)

And you will have to give an account. (Romans 14:12)

You can try to hand Him all of your good deeds, but God already said it’s not based on anything you can do & that the wages of your sin is DEATH. (Ephesians 2:8-9; Isaiah 64:6; Romans 6:23)

Judgment day will come… but grace is offered now.

Repent & call on Jesus & be saved. (Acts 3:19; Romans 10:9-13)

When Will be Your Judgment Day? Are You Ready?

Will you have until you’re 92, lying in a nursing home, finally surrendering your heart to Jesus, being welcomed into heaven on your dying breath…?

Or will you die suddenly in a car crash on your way home & you thought you had more time to decide… but it’s too late?

When will your judgment day come?

Will you be ready?

The Good News

But, my friend, the very Good News is that while judgment day WILL come… GRACE is offered NOW.

God says that believing on Jesus is accounted to us as righteousness (Romans 4:5; Genesis 15:6). That means our debt account, where even our best is counted as dirty rags to God (because it can never outweigh our sin)… (Isaiah 64:6) when we accept Jesus’ debt-covering, our account overflows instead with HIS righteousness now counted as our OWN.

Will we automatically be perfect with never a sinful thought or screw up? Nope. You will be a work in progress until the day you die (that’s why we can’t ever trust our own goodness because we can never be acceptable aside from Christ)… but your sin will be covered.

God’s Law Is GOOD!

Why do I take this for granted?

Why do I shy away from sharing God’s law, in calling out sin as it is—wretchedness that God hates, wretchedness that has a death sentence attached to it?

God gave us His law so we would recognize how much we need Him… not because we’re expected to follow it to the letter IN ORDER TO be saved… but that we follow it to HONOR, PLEASE, & GLORIFY Him as GOD & because His law is Truth & Goodness.

So, when someone calls something sin (that the Bible calls sin), know it’s because they want you to KNOW your need, too… not because they, in contrast, are perfect… but because they know the One who IS.

I am writing this because I care about you knowing this. I want this for you. I want you to know the depth of God’s forgiveness, grace, & love! I want you to know that He makes all things new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Don’t Shy Away from TRUTH–The Truth Shall Set You Free

“Jesus said unto Him: “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6)

What sins are you okay with? How much are you okay with in risking hurting God?

Where do you draw the line?

Judgment day will come… but grace is offered NOW.

Shine HOPE by not shying away from calling sin, sin (IN LOVE) (Ephesians 4:15) & by being willing to share the HOPE we have in God’s grace, through Jesus, that is offered NOW, so when judgment day is here we will be ready & know we did our best & told all we could so they would be ready, too.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bisa Tote (India)

Woven jute, dyed rope, and artisanal expertise make the Bisa Tote the perfect tote for any summer excursion! The earthy brown tones of the natural jute and leather mixed with the blue color block pattern are absolutely stunning and give this tote a modern coastal look. The ethically made Bisa Tote is handcrafted in India with an unlined interior, magnetic closure, and leather shoulder straps.

(PS. I want this bag! Isn’t it so beachy & cute?!)

***Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India!***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Everything?

“Whether you eat or drink, or WHATEVER you do, do it ALL for the GLORY OF GOD.” (1 Corinthians 10:31, emphasis added)

“Be holy, for I am holy.” (Leviticus 19:2; 1 Peter 1:15-16)

I don’t know about you, but when I have always read these verses, I would get a little quicker past a few verses like the ones I shared above.

I know I don’t measure up to that standard. I know I am nowhere NEAR being holy apart from the righteousness accounted to me through JESUS.

So, reading verses like that just seems like “lalala, I can’t HEAR you!” because the impossibility of it mixed with the directness of it made me uncomfortable.

That doesn’t mean I discount them or think they’re not entirely important–because God says it, but I never really considered the fact that IF GOD SAYS IT… it MUST be possible.

Nothing So Obviously Rebellious

But, if I am really, truly honest with myself, I can tell that there are certain sins that I’m okay with—& that’s not okay.

Now, I don’t mean that in the way of picking & choosing certain ones of the Ten Commandments given by God to Moses (Deuteronomy 5:1-21) & saying, “I think THIS ONE is okay… oh, & THIS ONE, too!” Nothing so obviously rebellious.

It’s more that if I consider the command to by HOLY & that WHATEVER I do, ALL should be for God’s glory… weeelllll…. I don’t always 100% live like that–& I should, because God says to.

I mean, most things, sure… I try to anyway… but how often do I stop comparing what I’m okay with… with what GOD says He’s okay with… versus with other people in my life?

Do I let HIM set the gauge on ALL things? Or my church? Or my parents? Or a Christian author? Or my peers?

Who determines for me what God is okay with in my life?

Do I Excuse Things That Promote Sin?

Here’s a BIG example for me that up until my self-imposed “rehab” from reliance on coping mechanisms versus trusting that God’s peace really can be sufficient & I don’t have to be trapped any longer by the “OR ELSE” that comes with maintaining my coping mechanisms for my depression… I can really be free from them & trust God in their place… but that is a rabbit hole from my point…

In my “rehab,” I have not allowed myself to watch any tv (read: binge watch, because once my symptoms hit, I have grown to have zero self-control anymore when it comes to tv-watching once I start as I try to drown out the symptoms). And in this giving up of television… amongst other things… I have found it has become much easier to live in a way that honors God—including & especially my thought life!

Why? I think it’s because although I try not to watch “trashy” television, a lot of it still portrays sin & that sin influences me even in subtle ways I would have never owned up to or even recognized previously because I grew up watching tv & it’s always been considered completely, absolutely acceptable—as long as I am not indulging in “filth” that PROMOTES & openly DISPLAYS sin.

But unless my prayer life & Bible study time outweighs the time I spend influenced by tv, guess which one is most likely going to have the stronger, albeit subtler, influence over me? (Galatians 6:8)

How Do You Think It Makes God Feel?

If I am engaging in something where sin is taken lightly, (aka something that God hates & considers worthy of needing to send Jesus to DIE for us because otherwise the punishment is eternal wretched torment in HELL (Romans 6:23; Isaiah 53:5-6; John 3:16-17)… does it honor Him if I engage in enjoying it?

Imagine your friend confides in you that someone called her fat & laughed at her & it just caught her off guard & deeply cut her & hurt her & she confides in you saying how much it hurts her… then you sit down with her & choose to watch a show where one character or another makes fun of someone’s weight & a laugh track plays… how do you think your friend is going to feel about that being the butt of the joke?

How do you think God feels when He sees you watching or engaging in something that makes light of something He says hurts Him? Namely, SIN? Do you think that honors Him? Pleases Him? Or hurts His heart? How do you think it makes God feel?

If a particular sin is treated dismissively, like no big deal… or promoted or praised, when God says it is worthy of DEATH & eternal punishment in Hell… where Jesus had to DIE because of it… do you think it honors Him to engage in it or excuse it or watch it? Do you think it pleases Him?

How do you think it makes God feel?

Is This Legalism?

This is where my conviction creeps in, because I recognize how much of a surprising change it’s been in me just these last 2.5 ish months just from not watching tv… & now I am realizing that what I have justified–because it’s widely accepted… may not be what’s best for me because I can’t say with full confidence that it doesn’t hurt or dishonor or displease God.

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify [build up].” (1 Corinthians 10:23, brackets added)

It’s not a matter of legalism. I can’t be saved by being “good” (Ephesians 2:8-9) & any amount of “good” in me is counted as dirty rags to God (Isaiah 64:6)… it’s ONLY by/through JESUS. Only. (John 14:6)

BUT, it IS a matter of whether I really care about giving God the GLORY in WHATEVER I do…. It IS a matter of whether I will CHOOSE to strive to honor & please God with every choice I make (aka striving to live HOLY & pleasing to GOD).

Where Do I Draw the Line?

What’s more important to me? Salvation with a side of living however I see fit as long as it’s not “TOO” offensive/dishonoring to God?

Where’s my line that I’m willing to draw there?

Where am I willing to hurt Him “just a little”?

Do I care about being HOLY? Or just “good enough”?

Do I justify things because I REALLY LIKE IT & IT’S “NOT THAT BAD”?

Who determines what is GOOD? Me? Or HIM?

Is It Okay to “Simply” Make Light of Any Sin?

God says course language/jesting is wrong. (Ephesians 5:4; Matthew 12:36-37; Ephesians 4:29)

God says complaining & gossip is wrong. (1 Corinthians 10:8-10; Jude 1:14-18; Philippians 2:13-16; Proverbs 16:28; James 4:11)

God says murder & hatred is wrong. (Proverbs 6:16-19; 1 John 4:20)

God says sensuality, lust, & sex outside the context of marriage is wrong. (1 Corinthians 10:8-10; Matthew 15:19; Ephesians 4:19; Mark 7:20-23; Matthew 5:28; 1 Corinthians 7:1-4; 1 Corinthians 6:18)

God says witchcraft is wrong. (1 Samuel 15:23; Galatians 5:19-21)

God says choosing our identity versus letting Him determine that is wrong. (Genesis 1:27; Psalm 139:13-16)

God says sleeping with the same sex is wrong. (Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:26-27)

What are we okay with watching that makes light of any of that sin because our church always allowed those movies/shows because they weren’t openly engaging in it or promoting it… maybe so our parents were okay with it, our peers encourage it, the world accepts it…?

Have we bothered to ask God what HE is okay with in any of it?

I’m a Sinner… I’m Still Learning to Surrender More to Him for His Glory over My Entertainment

I am not saying all of this because I have it all figured out & always make the right decision or even always know what the right decision is.

I am not here to make the call on where that line ought to be for you.

God says to be 100% convinced in your OWN heart before God… (Romans 14:5) & that if we’re not, & we choose to do it anyway… to US (not necessarily to everyone) it IS sin. (Romans 14:23)

Are you 100% convinced in your heart before God?

The Sins We’re Okay With

The sins we’re okay with… would you say there’s anything you’re okay engaging in that downplays, glorifies, or makes light of anything God hates? Where is the line for you on what you’re okay disappointing, displeasing, or hurting God?

Is there ANY doubt that you’re burying in justifications even though you know very well or even just have the slight inkling idea that maybe God is NOT okay with it?

What sins are you okay with if “to YOU (because of doubt) they are sin”?

SHINE HOPE by being willing to lay down a prayer of surrender whenever God nudges your heart about something, saying, “God, LORD, if there is ANYTHING I do that dishonors or displeases you in the SLIGHTEST, help me to NOT be okay with it anymore. WEED IT OUT of my life! I want my life to strive for holiness AKA a life that seeks to honor & please You with everything I choose. In Jesus’ HOLY name, Amen.”

Amen.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

(Explorer Gift Set: India, Haiti, & Guatemala)

Looking for a thoughtful, unique gift? Send him an ethically made gift that makes the world a better place! This Explorer Gift Set empowers families out of poverty with the genuine leather Explorer Wallet from India, a hand-stitched card from Haiti, and packaged in a traditional fabric pouch handwoven in Guatemala. The Explorer Set is perfectly packaged to give to the influential man in your life for Father’s Day, Graduation gifts, or a spring birthday!

*****Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for families in areas of extreme poverty in India, Haiti, and Guatemala.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

It’s in What’s Not Said

Well, this week at church hit me a little different.

Maybe you see me doing these blog posts every week & going LIVE to chat about the topics every week, & you think, “How can you say you’re silent? You’re anything but silent about God’s Word!”

But let me tell you, while God has brought me great lengths from where I was at when I launched my website & first blog post nearly 5 years ago… I still have some growing to do.

I used to struggle even with how I write now. I used to sort of “water down” what I wrote to make it more palatable to the general audience because I was so afraid of offending anyone—heaven forbid (it’s “in style” to be offended about literally everything these days, it seems).

But, back then, God chided my heart & put an unrest in me to let me know something was off—that if someone was in search of life-giving, FREEING truth… they wouldn’t get what they were looking for… & if someone didn’t care about that, they wouldn’t have reason to care about my measly blog anyway.

So, considering that I have become more straightforward in my pointing to Who my hope comes from—JESUS—it may seem an exaggeration to say I am sinning through my silence… but I am. It’s in what I choose NOT to say….

Finally Reaching their Promised (by God) Land! But…

At church, our pastor has been walking through the journey of the Israelites in the Old Testament, a common theme being their grumbling (see also: murmuring & complaining aka not going to God & thus trusting Him with it/through it)—it’s pretty much threaded through MUCH of the Old Testament. (Exodus 15:24; Exodus 16:2; Exodus 17:3; Numbers 14:2; Numbers 14:29; Numbers 16:41; Deuteronomy 1:27; Joshua 9:18; Psalm 106:24-25)

Right now, we’re in Numbers 13-14, getting to the part where they have arrived at the land God has PROMISED to give them, has singlehandedly LED them to, after PROVIDING miracle after miracle after MIRACLE to GET them there.

And God tells them, at the beginning of Chapter 13, to send their choicest men to go scout ahead to let the people know what to expect: namely, the beautiful, bountiful promised land’s reality of “a land flowing with milk & honey.” (Exodus 3:16-17; Exodus 33:3)

Well, the guys go, get samples of the land’s bountiful resources, & return to the people to give their report. Now, this was meant to be a scouting mission for the place where GOD called them to go, where GOD promised to provide… NOT a “whether or NOT we should go” type thing.

But that’s exactly how they handled it… as giving their assessment of whether or not they should go… & their assessment was a huge NOPE.

A Faith More in Human Ability or God Ability?

“YES, it’s BEAUTIFUL!”

“YES, it’s everything God said it would be & MORE!”

“YES, it’s AMAZING land!………”

“BUT, the people living there are like giants! & there’s so many of them that we don’t even stand a CHANCE! We need to turn back! We will lose!” (Numbers 13:26-29; Numbers 13:31-33, paraphrase)

RUH-ROH. That was NOT their call to make. That was NOT their assignment! (*But wait, don’t I do that ALL THE TIME when I choose not to do something I OUGHT to do because it makes me uncomfortable??? Oops. I try to OUT-LOGIC GOD.)

But it was effective, as basically EVERYONE came as one accord to agree with those choice men. They did NOT want to risk it. (Numbers 14:1-4; Numbers 14:10) They were SO afraid, in fact, that they were readying to STONE anyone who opposed their idea to give up!

“Then the Lord said to Moses: “How long will these people reject Me? And how long will they not believe Me, with all the signs which I have performed among them?” (Numbers 14:11)

Am I Too Willing to Stand for God’s Leading, Despite the Hatred of the Crowd?

But there were 2 men who chose to look at the roughness of the situation—I mean, if their choicest men were shaking in their boots so eager to get OUT of there, it MUST have been BAD—but these 2 men:  Caleb & Joshua, chose to trust not what they could see, but the God Who is GREATER than any obstacles they saw ahead. (Numbers 13:30; Numbers 14:6-9)

They remembered how God rescued them from slavery & oppression in Egypt.

They remembered how God had led them through the wilderness with a pillar of smoke by day & a pillar of fire by night, never leaving them to fend for themselves for one moment.

They remembered the manna food that came from the sky that God provided as their daily sustenance, & the water that miraculously sprung out from the rocks when struck in places with no near water source.

They remembered every bit of God’s power & majesty & provision!

And they looked at the SAME OVERWHELMING odds & said, “You know what, it IS a great obstacle that is NOT humanly possible… BUT GOD IS GREATER.”

And the people wanted to STONE them for proclaiming it! What?! (Numbers 14:10)

What Does It Mean to Live by FAITH?

Living in faith means doing what God says, even if it makes NO SENSE to us.

Living by faith means doing what God says, even if the crowd wants to stone you (or “cancel” you) for it.

Crossroads in your life that change the course of your life may seem insignificant at the time but end up having a HUGE impact. Where will our choices lead us? To mediocre, “good enough” or to God’s BEST for those influenced & impacted by you? Are you influencing the world or is the world influencing you? <–Read a previous post on that, here.

When we say, “But I can’t.” We need to finish that statement with, “But GOD CAN.”

Don’t get caught fixating on avoiding discomfort or struggle versus trusting God is more than sufficient through ANYTHING.

Remember Who He Is

What has God ALREADY gotten you through? Throughout history, what has God ALREADY done?

God’s promises or human obstacles… which will you let rule your path/heart/confidence/life?

If even the GREAT 10 were AFRAID, the obstacles they saw must have been HUGE, but Caleb saw clearly that GOD IS GREATER.

Will you be willing to stand alone or will you hide in the majority?

God’s Ways Lead to the Promised Land

This is where I was convicted in my own heart: God’s way & God’s Truth leading to obedience to His Word & also SALVATION… THAT is the promised land… the good land promised by God.

Will I be courageous in encouraging obedience to God’s will, to give Him glory in ALL things… even the things people love to cancel others for… to seek to honor & please Him with EVERYTHING in life, even if it makes me the hated minority, knowing if God has led it then it IS the “promised land” we seek?

His way leads to LIFE. Am I really committed to believing that ENOUGH to speak up about even those things that the media is quick to stone you with their viral words of hatred?

Will I be like Caleb or like the other guys? Will I trust self or God? Will I protect myself or the Truth of God that sets us free & leads to life everlasting?

My Sin? Silence.

Is comfort so much my idol that I would deny encouragement for people to be free of the payment & guilt of their sin? Or if already free, to find the GOODNESS & BLESSING tucked in living a life of determined, surrendered obedience to God no matter what?

Being a Caleb requires sacrifice, surrender, sometimes ridicule, & sometimes a LONELY standing alone. It’s an obstacle that in my seeking out of comfort, seems NOT humanly possible.

But God makes it all worthwhile.

Who around me will pay the price for my silence?

“And your sons shall be shepherds in the wilderness forty years, and bear the brunt of your infidelity, until your carcasses are consumed in the wilderness.” (Numbers 14:33)

I ask again, who will pay the price for my silence?

God Is My Strength, in Whom I Place My Trust

Why do I think I have to be strong when God Himself promises to be my strength?

What God calls sin, is sin. We can justify it, disbelieve it, ignore it, avoid it, talk around it, feel progressive & forward-thinking about it… but what God calls sin… is SIN.

And judgment day will come.

Don’t make excuses. Don’t make yourself out to be wiser than the One Who MADE you.

Trust HIM over yourself. And if it makes absolutely no sense to you & you just REFUSE to live by it until it makes sense to YOU… let’s just say God understands more than you do & that excuse (saying you have to know as much as God or you refuse to obey Him) will not fly with Him come judgment day. Your choice is your choice & thus your consequences will be your consequences.

Be Careful

“For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools,” (Romans 1:20-22; Romans 2:15-16)

Shine HOPE by determining NOT to keep quiet… NOT to focus on the HUGE obstacles/struggles ahead… BUT to fix your eyes on REMEMBERING ALL GOD has brought you through & done throughout history… without your help. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Let God be God in your life every day.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

May 2023 Hope Mail

FOR A LIMITED TIME – Only available during the month of May!

Imagine the joy of opening this May Hope Mail package and discovering these eco-friendly fair-trade earrings! Artisans in India handcraft these elegant Silver Simplicity Earrings. Each earring features six silver-tone ovals linked to smaller circles, creating a beautiful fair-trade fashion statement. Every pair of Silver Simplicity Earrings helps to end poverty cycles and keep families out of the slums of India!

This bright, colorful Aqua Statement Bracelet is handcrafted in India and designed to create a fair-trade fashion statement! Several strands of aqua colored glass seed beads on viscose thread. Each bracelet is finished with knotted ends and fun hot pink tassels on the pull strings. This bracelet is helping women in India leave situations of abuse and discrimination and sending girls to school.

Inspire yourself or someone you love with this exclusive, vinyl, Trades of Hope Esther Sticker with the encouraging message, “Perhaps this is the moment for which you were created.”

*****Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops and human traffickers.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Do You Think God Is Too Demanding?

Have you ever been tempted to think that God just expects too much, asks too much, or controls too much?

I definitely wrestled with these thoughts growing up as a Christian. I misunderstood that the Bible—God’s Word—was all about rules & control.

But then, when I considered how, yes, He expected & asked for holiness & perfection… but how He also made a way to restore us knowing we couldn’t keep up our end. He loved us so much that He made the way for us when we couldn’t.

So, that sort of tilts the whole idea of God being on some power trip… because He could easily have kept Jesus from coming & just let us all pay the consequences of our own choices—HELL… & death in this life as well.

God Owns All, Is Deserving of All, & Judgment Day Will Come–No Matter What You Want to Believe

Today, I want us to consider Mark 12, which highlights 3 points regarding His deserving:

• Him as the One to Whom all belongs,
• Giving to “Caesar” what belongs to “Caesar” but to God, what belongs to God (us, our hearts, our lives, our all), &
• How we will all face God someday as the Righteous Judge & we ought to know whether we’re ready to meet Him.

When we are tempted to think of God on a cosmic power trip, we must consider that He made everything, owns everything, & that He alone has the right to judge it all—PLUS, He sent JESUS.

It’s True Though… God Has Expectations of Us

But even though God made a way for us to be free from the consequences of our own wrong choices, God still expects us to express love to Him through our obedience to Him… & sometimes it’s true that He asks some hard things of us (but not without His offer to help).

Sometimes it’s having a willingness to leave everything behind to follow His lead, like Abraham did when God called him (Genesis 12:1-4)… or like many missionaries throughout history.

Sometimes it’s letting God define our identity rather than trying to make that call ourselves–even & especially when our way seems so “true to self” &/or “authentic.”

Sometimes it’s being willing to die for His Truth to be shared with a hope-seeking world, like so many of Jesus’ disciples & the many martyrs throughout history.

Sometimes it’s accepting a life of ridicule from those you care about & want to please the most to stand for the hope you know is True & worth living for.

Sometimes it’s being willing to serve where it’s not so glamorous & where you get close to zero recognition &/or praise. (I think at least a few of my mom friends have felt this way at least at some point—can you relate to that?)

Whatever it is that God is asking of you to walk in obedience to Him… maybe it doesn’t feel good or make you look good or goes against everything you’ve always wanted or believed. And you may be tempted to think that God is quite demanding & controlling.

But God is not demanding. He’s deserving.

What Makes God Deserving?

He made you… knit you together in fact. And He knows all your days before one ever took place. (Psalm 139:13-16) Only He gets to say “who you are.”

He can number every hair on your head. (Matthew 10:30)

He is LORD of Heaven & Earth. He MADE Heaven & Earth & everything in it. (Acts 17:24-25)

He is before time & will exist eternally after time. (Colossians 1:17; Genesis 1:1; 1 Timothy 1:17)

He knows absolutely everything there is to know or ever will be to know & has perfect understanding & wisdom to navigate through it all wisely. (Romans 11:33; Proverbs 2:6)

He holds absolute authority. (2 chronicles 20:6)

AND He sent Jesus to pay all of your debts to reconcile you to Himself if you believe on Jesus to cover your debt & declare Him as your LORD. (Romans 5:8; John 3:16-17)

Don’t Underestimate Your Need of Him

Maybe you grew up always trying to be a good person & you think, “what debt, Michelle? I always have tried to be a good person & do right things & not be a troublemaker. My debt, if any, isn’t really that big a deal.”

Yeah, growing up in the church, especially, my pride tempts me to think that way too sometimes.

But sin is really the idea of “missing the mark,” of not always, in every single moment of every single day having every thought, attitude, & action be pleasing & honoring to God. I don’t think ANY of us can claim THAT–I know I can’t.

We’re not comparing ourselves to other flawed humans.

No, we’re comparing ourselves to the One & only perfect, holy GOD ALMIGHTY.

And on THAT comparison, to say I fall short is a HUGE understatement.

He is PERFECT & HOLY. I am not worthy to even have Him consider me. (Psalm 8:3-4; Isaiah 6:1-5; Job 40:1-14; Ephesians 3:8; John 1:27)

I am the undeserving one.

God Is Not Demanding, He’s DESERVING

And yet, He knew that & He sent Jesus to cover my debt to Him & ALL I HAVE TO DO to receive it is repent (admit, confess, turn from) my sin against Him & believe on JESUS to be the covering for that sin (versus trying to be it yourself—because you will never quite measure up). (Acts 3:19; 1 John 1:8-9; Ephesians 2:8-9; John 3:16-17; Romans 10:9)

And, oh yeah, get this: Every single thing He commands us… IS FOR OUR ULTIMATE GOOD. (Romans 8:28; Deuteronomy 10:12-13)

AND every single thing He asks of us, He ALSO offers to be our supply in the doing of it. (2 Peter 1:3-4)

So, considering ALL THAT, to even imply that the Bible is a display of a major power trip of God’s is just quite frankly insulting.

God is not demanding. He’s DESERVING.

He Gives His All So We May Give Our All to & for Him

Wow. In all my underserving, my pride, my underestimating Him & neglecting to praise Him as often as He honestly deserves… He gives His all for me.

God is NOT demanding. He’s deserving.

So, if you want to scream your “rights” in wanting to live YOUR life YOUR way–even in just how you spend your free time aka my struggle (it’s not your life) & live by your determination of YOUR “true, authentic self…” (only HE knows what that is, because HE made you)—if it goes against what God says—you WILL pay the price for that “missing the mark” because if it goes against what HE, as YOUR CREATOR says… it’s automatically wrong.

I Don’t Give Him the Praise He Deserves

He offers payment in full. Full forgiveness. Full debt forgiveness. A fresh start.

You don’t have to “clean yourself up first” or “prove you mean it” by conquering certain things first.

You just have to be willing to accept that you are NOT enough & that ONLY He is. And repent of your way & trust on Jesus’ payment & have a desire to live for God’s way.

Shine HOPE by not apologizing for God’s commands, but rather pointing to His deserving in all things.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Identity Quartz Necklace (Guatemala)

The naturally varying shades of strawberry quartz stones make the handcrafted Identity Quartz Necklace from Guatemala beautiful. Dainty tones of pink with ivory shades encase a pure silver charm embossed with the fingerprint of the woman who created it!

***Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Guatemala.***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Understanding Isn’t a Prerequisite for Struggling

Now, before I get started this week, I want to make one thing absolutely clear: This post is NOT meant to be emailed to your child, friend, or spouse, as a way to say, “See, you just need to give it to God.”

If you are tempted to use this post to make a point to someone, you probably need to take a step back & give your heart attitude about that other person… to God. Pray for that person… pray for compassion & understanding… pray that God would work through their struggles, even if you don’t see a “reasonable cause” for them to be struggling the way that they do.

You don’t have to understand it… heck, THEY may not even understand it (*raises hand)… for them to actually BE struggling.

ALSO, if you think to yourself, “I don’t actually struggle with depression, so this post doesn’t apply to me.” Wrong again. We all have struggles where this little sin problem can lurk in undetected… so this post can be for anybody who struggles, ever… AKA anyone.

What Do You Mean?

It’s no secret around here that I struggle with depression. Now, I don’t mean that I am sad all the time or spiraling in a black hole of despair… although it can certainly & easily head that way if I am not careful & watchful & surrendered to God in it.

But, life sometimes doesn’t always come easy to me. Of course, everybody struggles & has hard days, I am not blind to that fact… but what I mean is that some days, my brain just seems to fog over & numb, where I feel checked out, like a heavy weighted blanket has been placed over me, making even physical movement sometimes feel so challenging. Simple, easy tasks become like wading/trudging through waist-deep mud.

And that’s where the despair & sad feelings can creep in if I am not careful, because I sometimes feel trapped in a body where the control center just shuts down randomly on me unexpectedly. And it’s frustrating & angsty & annoying & it makes absolutely no sense sometimes.

But we’ve talked about all that before on here. No new news there.

The Sin Problem That Lurks in Depression & Struggles

The thing I want to focus in on today is the sin problem that lurks in depression & in the midst of our struggles.

Before I talk about it, I think it would be an excellent idea if you started with my previous post: “Understanding Depression with Discernment,” (also completely applicable to ANY struggle, really… especially parts 3-5), where I break down depression into 5 parts:  cause, symptoms, consequences, Satan’s exploitation of all of the above… &, part 5: your choice/response to all of it.

And that leads us to today’s post… mainly, parts 4 & 5.

Sometimes Life Is HARD

Depression is hard. Life struggles are hard. There is NO denying that. Some days just feel like nothing seems to be able to go right & everything just seems to go wrong despite your many efforts toward the opposite.

Some days FRUSTRATE you. Some days catch you off guard like a hard slap to the face. Some days break your heart & leave you a zombie just trying to survive until you can get home & cry in your room without judgment.

Maybe it’s depression or anxiety or any other mental or chronic illness.

Maybe you find a lump. Maybe you get the results & they are the complete opposite of great. Or maybe it’s your kid or your spouse or your parents or best friend.

Maybe it’s a car accident.

Maybe it’s stress at work that seems to always be piling higher no matter how hard you work.

Maybe it’s loneliness… bitter loneliness.

Maybe it’s a little bit of all of the above.

Whatever it may be… if you’re not in it now… you’ve BEEN in it before… & you most likely will again because we live in a sin-torn world until Jesus returns.

Here Comes the Big “BUT”

And it’s not wrong to feel. It’s not wrong to hurt. It’s not even wrong to feel mad at the hardness of it all or the awfulness of whatever the circumstances may be.

But we must stay alert in our grief, in our depression, in our struggle.

Because, as I mentioned in that previous blog post I shared above, Satan is on the prowl. He is looking, SEARCHING tirelessly for situations to exploit.

He is not satisfied that we are just hurting. He wants us consumed by it.

He is not satisfied that we are just struggling. He wants us DROWNING in it.

He is not satisfied that we are tired. He wants us to give up.

Really though, he wants us to doubt God.

He wants us to give up trusting that God can do anything at all… that we can even trust God at all.

He wants us to turn our backs on God forever & bypass the GRACE, LOVE, COMFORT, PEACE, & HOPE that God has stored up for us in His presence.

And honestly… sometimes… when life is really, really, REALLY hard… & STAYS hard… it can feel REALLY EASY to listen to him. And that is where we find the big “but” when it comes to it being okay to feel the hurt… don’t let your hurts turn your hearts from GOD’s HOPE.

Where Does My Help Come From? My Help Comes from the LORD, the Maker of Heaven & Earth!

“I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

Satan knows God is our ONLY true source of HOPE. (John 14:6)

Satan knows that God heals the brokenhearted & binds up their wounds. (Psalm 147:3)

Satan knows God is our Helper, Comforter, Refuge, & Strength in times of trouble. (Hebrews 13:6; John 15:26; Psalm 46:1)

Satan wants us to forget. He wants us to turn our backs on our only hope.

So, where does the sin problem lurk in depression & struggles?

… In beginning to listen to those lies from Satan because it just feels easier not to fight it anymore.

I Love Sleep

I mentioned somewhat recently that I went through a two-month sleeplessness battle.

I knew it was spiritual warfare because there was no clear, real reason for the sleeplessness. It was always something different–super random.

There I would be, drifting off to sleep, on the very brink of nodding off into dreamland & then ITCH… or DOG BARK… or HUSBAND LEG JERK… or ETC ETC ETC. It made no sense how I could be so relaxed, so at ease, so ready to drift away to sleep, but then never could… for TWO MONTHS of an hour here or a couple hours there.

It was AWFUL. (I love sleep. Anyone else?)

You’d Think I’d Learned by Now… Right?

Anyway, I mention all that because EVERY SINGLE TIME I bowed that icky, sicky, feeling grumpy & tired & already ready to just quit my day every morning so I can go back to sleep, wanting to THROW my phone at the wall for having the AUDACITY of waking me up once I finally fell asleep (an hour before it went off)… EVERY SINGLE TIME I bowed all of that to God, repenting of my terrible attitude & asking for His enoughness to somehow, SOMEHOW get me through each day & honor Him in it…

Guess what? He came through EVERY SINGLE TIME.

So, now comes the part where I tell you the happy ending, right? Where, okay, I have LEARNED my lesson! I no longer worried about no sleep from that day forward because I realized God was my ENOUGH & He would carry me through it all COME WHAT MAY!

Right? …. RIGHT?

nope.

I STILL had to repent EVERY SINGLE DAY about my bad attitude & wanting to just quit, give up, & stay GRUMPY.

Why? Because I knew full-well that God would help me… but I DIDN’T WANT TO NEED HELP EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I Don’t Want to NEED Help… & Satan Knows This… & This Feeling Can Lead to Sin

Depression? Struggles of every kind? Aren’t they the same way?

Deep down, we KNOW God WILL help… but we don’t want to NEED help.

We just want it to stop & go away & not exist anymore.

We don’t want peace IN the storm… we want the storm to GO AWAY.

Right? Am I the only one?

And that right there is the danger. That is where Satan picks & nags & tempts.

There is the sin problem that lurks in depression & troubles: the temptation to want to turn our backs on God because He is allowing the hard to STAY.

Is depression hard? YES!

Are troubles hard? YES!

But the moment we are willing to exchange hope in God for the ultimatum of the end of our troubles… that’s where the sin gets us… that’s where the spiral to despair begins if we’re not careful, watchful, & ALERT… if we’re not surrendered to God EVERY DAY in it–because He IS our hope in it.

My Biggest Idol I’m Tempted to Worship above God… Is COMFORT

I get it. I hate struggling. Comfort is my STRONGEST idol that tempts me.

I want out of the struggle. I want easy. I want EASE.

I don’t want to need to ask for help. I don’t want to NEED help.

But I will tell you something right now. Hard does not have to equal bad… it’s just hard.

And easy doesn’t always equal good, either.

When life is hard, which it WILL be on this earth, be careful, be watchful that you don’t let this sin take root in your heart… that you determine to stay surrendered to the ever-sufficient care of God… EVEN IF it STAYS hard.

Because let me tell you something… hard will stay hard with or without a surrendered heart to God for help… but it will get a WHOLE LOT HARDER without Him.

Rest in Him. Keep Coming to Him. Keep Relying on Him. Keep Recognizing Your Need of Him Every Moment, Every Day.

Rest in Him. Determine to stay surrendered to Him. Ask for His help EVERY day if you have to. Don’t spiral. Don’t let sin creep in when you’re not looking. Don’t reject God when life is at its worst. CLING to HIM.

Shine HOPE by determining to stay surrendered to the help of God, repenting for wanting to be self-sufficient versus God-dependent, & by always pointing to HIM as our source of HOPE in ALL our struggles… depression or otherwise… even if the hard never stops.

BECAUSE HE IS OUR HOPE IN ALL THINGS.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Kids’ Pastel Bracelet Set (Uganda)

While Supplies Last! Beautiful, artisanal bracelet set perfect for the kid in your life!

This adorable Pastel Bracelet Set is ideally sized for kids 4-7 years old or those with smaller wrists. This set is designed to coordinate with our Kids’ Vibrant Bracelet Set. Handcrafted by vulnerable women in the slums of Uganda who are leading their families out of poverty, this set includes a pink bracelet and an aqua bracelet made from hand-rolled paper beads and accented with gold glass beads. Each bracelet is totally unique to the woman who made it!

***Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Uganda.***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Unrealized Potential?

Are you influencing the world or is the world influencing you? This question was posed at church on Sunday & it really stuck with me.

We have so much potential to live out the grace of God to the world around us, do you realize that? Do I?

Oh, I know our neighbors & our co-workers & extended family seem “just fine,” but imagine having to carry the weight & burden & shame of your choices, second-guessing yourself maybe or trying to stuff those feelings deep down so you can carry on, always stretching toward an ever-fleeting peace or hope or happiness—because you don’t have any true, lasting, solid HOPE.

You have the potential, as an ambassador for God, dear Christians, to live as a physical representation of His grace & hope & peace in the world going on around you every day. Do you realize that?

It’s easy for me to want to answer that question with a quick, “duh, of course,” because it really IS my desire… but when I take a moment to honestly examine my thoughts, my attitude, my day-to-day choices, & my focus—oftentimes, it doesn’t really look like I do realize that after all.

Just Livin’ Life

I go about my life like most people. I get up, usually grumpy at my alarm clock, tired, & dragging my feet to the bathroom to start getting ready for my day.

Then, I say a quick “I love you” to my husband (& my cat) & head to work.

I do my job, barely looking up from my piles of papers to check, except to walk kids to their daily specials… then go to lunch… go home for a quick, often unappreciated kitty snuggle (deep down, I know he loves me… but his snuggle limit typically lasts about 4 minutes)… then get to my chores & “learning corner” of hobbies (ASL, Spanish, & piano).

Time to get dinner ready, greet my hubs, eat, hang out, then get ready for bed & TRY to sleep (I’m not always good at sleeping).

Just going about my day. All that routine… all that stuff to do… but I barely ever really stop to think, “am I representing the grace of Jesus to the people I pass at work? To people I see when I run my errands? To anyone really?”

I just seem to day-in & day-out DO what I need to DO that day & then start again the next day.

Without His CONSTANT Influence & Guidance…

Do you go with the flow, letting the world shape your mind, your attitude about stuff going on in the world, or even your routines/habits? Or do you intentionally seek to lay everything down every moment with a silent prayer of, “Lord, I know my gut response is _____, but what honors & pleases You in this? Help me do that. Give me wisdom & give me strength to do that. Nothing else. Help me live every moment for You & Your glory somehow. Show me how. AMEN.”

I think that’s why God instructs us in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 to “pray without ceasing.” That’s that WHOLE verse right there. PRAY WITHOUT CEASING.

He knows full well how easy it is to just hop right into our routine without a second thought.

I need to remember to better learn this habit of “pray WITHOUT CEASING…” every thought, every routine, every habit, every task, every interaction, ALL OF IT bowed to Him… offered to Him as an opportunity to be an INTENTIONAL influence for HOPE in the world around me every day… every moment.

Just Don’t Let Them Get in the Way of GOD

Habits & routines aren’t bad. They help us function more effectively & efficiently… but the danger in them is that I can get so used to them & so comfortable in them that I barely ever look up… I barely ever consider, “what if God wants to change my route today? What if God wants me to interact with someone specific today for a loving word of Truth or a smile or an encouraging word… & it takes me off my scheduled/routined path?” What if?

Will I be willing to let God interrupt my routine/habits to better be an influence of grace to someone He puts in my path or will I be too sidetracked with my own routine?

Will I be willing to say, “God, interrupt my day if it’s Your desire. Show me PEOPLE & HEARTS in need of You today. Give me Your eyes. Give me Your wisdom. Give me Your LOVE for PEOPLE. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Are our tasks important? Sure. Are they AS important as God’s assignment for your any given day? NOPE, not even CLOSE.

God Knows… He KNOWS

Maybe it’s tempting to think: “But, I have RESPONSIBILITIES! GOD KNOWS THAT!”

Yes, He does know that. So, guess what… if He chooses to interrupt your plans, HE HAS A PLAN for THAT, too!

Oh, how easy it is for me to trust MY plan & my view of the day & what I think is just SO important.

Oh, how easy it is for me to look to OTHERS to tell me what is of utmost importance. A boss maybe? Should I listen to them? Of course? Should I let them trump God’s lead? NOPE, never. God has a plan for THAT, too.

Oh, how I tend put God’s lead LAST.

As if He doesn’t know it’s important.

As if He doesn’t know my responsibilities need doing.

As if He doesn’t know I have commitments to keep.

As if He doesn’t know.

Am I Willing to Trust Him Above MYSELF? Am I?

Am I willing to trust that He knows what’s needed… what’s expected of me? That He’ll cover that & lead me in the HOW?

Am I willing to think maybe, just maybe He knows better & more than ME?

Am I willing to LET HIM interrupt ME?

Am I willing to let Him use me to be an influence of His grace to the world around me?

Am I willing to pray WITHOUT ceasing, bowing EVERY interaction & thought & activity & routine & habit & task to HIM for HIS will over MY plans?

Are You Influencing the World or Is the World Influencing You? ALL for God’s Glory

Are you influencing the world? Or is the world influencing YOU?

“So, whether you eat or drink, or what ever you do… do it ALL FOR the GLORY of GOD.” (1 Corinthians 10:31, emphasis added)

Shine HOPE. Be intentional. Be surrendered. Be willing to be interrupted. Be willing to let God take the lead of your every thought, task, or habit. Be willing to be an influence for HIS GRACE to the world around you everywhere you turn.

“God, I want to be this way for You! I really do! But I am so quick to my routines. Please teach me to pray WITHOUT ceasing, making my every passing thought a prayer to You to lead me, to interrupt me, to use me for Your grace & glory. Take me by the hand. Make this thinking my true over-arching-all habit. Use me to influence this lost world with Your Mountain-Moving GRACE. In Jesus’ all-powerful, unconditionally loving, gave-everything-for-us name, amen.”

AMEN.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Agate Key Bracelet (Dominican Republic)

The varying shades of genuine blue lace agate stone make every Agate Key Bracelet from the Dominican Republic entirely unique. Each stretch-to-fit bracelet features a gold-tone accent bead and a delicate gold key charm.

***Every purchase of this bracelet supports a safe house in the Dominican Republic that provides housing, education, legal services, and trauma counseling for survivors of human trafficking.***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Who Is Really Behind It? Be on Alert!

I take things personally too often. It’s one of my not great qualities. Honestly, that’s why I had to pray so much leading up to even taking the first steps with creating & publishing this website.

Even if it’s a simple misunderstanding with another person, I tend to take it as my character &/or integrity being questioned & it hurts my feelings.

I know people make mistakes. I know I make mistakes… but I still feel the sting when someone misunderstands me in some way.

But then, deep down, if I take time to surrender the hurt to God, God reminds me that my true wrestling match is not with the other person (Ephesians 6:12), but with Satan aiming to sow discord among us.

The Cunning Snake

You see, Satan is a cunning snake. He has had MANY years to learn how humans tick… to know how to create divisions, disagreements, & discord. He knows where to strike.

It’s something I always try to keep in mind & repeatedly try to remind others when meeting with young ladies for discipleship/accountability. Because if you have a relationship with someone that honors & glorifies God, encouraging & edifying one other toward the gospel & good works… you can be SURE that Satan will be QUICK to do WHATEVER he can to break that up… ASAP.

So, if you feel a pull from insecurity, shame, annoyance, frustration, or anything not PEACE-laden pulling you away from someone, you can be sure Satan is doing what he can to keep you both from glorifying God together…. Another reason why he attacks marriages & ministries so often!

And yet, even knowing this… I still fall for it sometimes.

Disagreements, Grumpies, & Hurt Feelings

It can start as small as a disagreement about something, seeing something differently than someone else… or maybe a misunderstanding… & if left unchecked, begins to erode away the potentially God-honoring, blessed connection you may have with someome, until you feel so stiff, tense, &/or insecure around them that you maybe start making new routes in your life to avoid interacting with them.

Sometimes it’s a grumpy mood, “that time of the month,” waking up “on the wrong side of the bed,” or just a good ol’ tough day… & it gets misinterpreted or maybe taken out on someone else… or the grump on your face gets seen as an afront against someone else & now you’re in a feud with someone you didn’t even realize you had offended.

Or maybe you DO realize because your day was SO bad & your mood was left unchecked for TOO long & the cramps are UGH & you just let a curt word come out of your mouth when responding (or rather, REACTING) to someone else. Oops.

It doesn’t take much. Satan is QUICK to jump in there with leading conclusions & jabbing at your insecurities & stabbing at your vulnerabilities until now you’re fuming & “well, I didn’t realize they were SUCH A JERK! Forget them!”

Yeah, it happens.

Be Aware So You Can Pray

But, we need to be aware of this because we need to know to pray about this.

We need to know the signs, the dangers, the manipulations that Satan uses on our weak spots, emotions, & insecurities.

And we need to know to PRAY.

Satan wants grudges, God wants grace.

Satan wants rifts, God wants restoration.

Satan wants division, God wants unity & peace.

Learn to take your gut reaction to God… to forgive you for your gut reaction if it does not honor or would not please Him… for help laying the offense at His feet… & for wisdom on a path toward restoration, through grace, for reconciled unity & peace with that person.

A Prayer of Surrender in the Hurt of the Moment

“God, OOOHH that was not cool! I feel so frustrated & tense & I just want to REACT! But… God help me, please help me. Help me to take a deep breath. Help me place this on Your strong shoulders. Help me let go. Maybe they’re having a bad day. Maybe they’re just grumpy & I’m making more of it. Maybe they really are MAD at me. I don’t know & it shouldn’t matter! Help me lay that on You. Give me Your peace. Don’t let me fall prey to Satan’s twisting, manipulative divisiveness. Help me give it to YOU. Help me to LOVE even when I don’t feel loved back. Help me to SERVE those who seem to dislike me, knowing they don’t have to even like me for me to do the right thing. Help me to honor YOU with how I respond. HELP me do that. My gut response is pettiness, anger, frustration, avoidance… but You command GRACE as You have given me such grace. Grace, by definition, is undeserved—so even if they meant to be mean to me, help me to have the surrender-to-YOU attitude to let You handle it & to help me give grace. Help me love like You love, not reviling or threatening in return (1 Peter 2:21-24). But, love. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Don’t Let Satan Sow Discord Among You

Maybe they really are just having a bad day & it really has NOTHING to do with you.

Maybe they MEANT IT & wanted to hurt you.

Regardless… LOVE.

Regardless… GRACE.

Regardless… Honor God with your RESPONSE (even if you have to bite your lip HARD, take a DEEP breath, & PRAY for help desperately).

If you have a prayer partner, an accountability partner, are in discipleship with someone… EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN & PRAY AGAINST IT & for discernment to see it!

It Hurts, I Know…

You don’t have to be respected to be respectful.

You don’t have to be liked to love.

You don’t have to be admired to do what’s right.

You don’t have to be well-treated to be kind.

Despite their choice… YOU have a choice.

Honor God. Lean on God. Let God help you.

To God be the Glory Forever and Ever!

Don’t let Satan sow discord among you, because Lord knows HE WILL TRY.

Shine HOPE by praying for the discernment to recognize Satan’s crafty schemes & the submissive heart to come to God for help with a response that honors Him versus letting Satan control the narrative through your natural human response.

Choose to honor God ALWAYS, even when it doesn’t feel so great in that exact moment.

God will bless you for your obedience.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Silver Remi Necklace (India)

This classic silver-tone beaded necklace from India is an everyday wardrobe essential. Wear it alone or layer it with other necklaces! Customize your length with the adjustable extension chain on the back featuring an easy-clasp closure.

***Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages in areas of extreme poverty where vulnerable women are often exploited by sweatshops.***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Let’s Keep Learning…

It seems there is no rest for me lately with lessons learned… hard lessons.

First was trusting God with moving where I didn’t want to go, leaving a place I wanted to stay, needing to wrestle with the anger, hurt, & fear to trust & learn to desire God’s will & plan over my own… then the chaotic move that had Satan seemingly throwing obstacles at our every turn, needing to run blind & just trust that God would clear a way where there seemed no way… then all the stuff with the house & needing to rest that in His hands… to 2 months ish of consistent sleeplessness, where I learned He is sufficient & faithful & can be my strength even when I have none & that He would thus also provide the strength I needed if I gave up sleep on purpose to honor Him with a regular morning quiet time… it’s been a trying year for sure.

God Proves Himself… I Doubt Him in a New Way… My Weak Faith

And now, this. Ugh. I feel like the Israelites going through the wilderness… hardship at every turn, yet God always provides & leads & proves Himself mighty, strong, worthy, & more than sufficient—He provided their food, water, made sure their clothing never wore out & their feet never swelled on their long journey (Deuteronomy 8:4; Psalm 78:20-25). That’s pretty crazy! PLUS, the grand rescue from Egyptian enslavement! And yet… they continuously grumbled against God versus remembering to GO TO GOD.

That’s me. Grumbling. Always grumbling…. The, “not agains” are too many to count.

You would think I would sit back & say, “After all that? Nah, I have nothing to worry about. God will take care of it somehow like He always does… I just need to turn to Him as my help & sufficiency!” But, no… I grumble with each new struggle.

Idols Aren’t Always So Obvious

I have been working through a daily devotional on food freedom, learning to turn to God versus anything else we may turn to… including food.

Well, for me, it’s mainly the eating out. “I’m bored… let’s eat out.” “I had a bad day… let’s eat out.” “I feel angsty & numb & want to feel SOMETHING… let’s eat out.”

Sensing a pattern with me here? An idol maybe? Yep.

It’s not just the eating out temptation as my go-to fix-all… it’s the tv binging some days, & the video scrolling for hours on my phone, or the gaming that starts as an hour & ends with the sun setting. These things have become almost synonymous with NECESSITY versus an option.

My Coping Mechanisms have become my idols–what I turn to instead of God as my help.

I’ve Come a Long Way, But There’s Still More Growing to Do…

You see, as you probably or may know, in my struggle with depression (not depressive thoughts, but the chemical imbalance in my brain that sometimes coats me in oppressive brain fog, numbing over, losing any care for anything because I just feel so full of NUMB in my brain that it’s sometimes physically tiring to try to get myself to care about something), I have come so far from where I once was.

And I thought I was doing pretty well.

I have learned that there’s a distinction between 1. the cause (chemical imbalance), 2. symptoms (brain fog, lack of motivation, tired, checked out), 3. consequences (feeling like every easy thing is way harder than it should be & noticing others’ responses to it), 4. Satan exploiting all of the above: “you’re a waste of space, you annoy everyone, you’re a burden, etc.” & 5. MY CHOICE in how to respond to all of the above: Trust God despite it staying hard, determining to set my focus on Him no matter how hard it may get… or spiral because Satan sounds so convincing. (Read more about these 5 distinctions in a previous blog post: “Understanding Depression with Discernment.”)

But I still have a long way to go… obviously.

What Exactly am I Afraid Of?

But, back to the devotional I mentioned earlier. She made a point about FEAR being a major motivator for overeating or eating poorly.

Her point was about feeling unworthy compared with others or something like that, but God has already worked me through the difference between my worth/value/beauty being completely separate from my HEALTH & caring for the one body God has made for & given to me. (Read more about that journey in a previous post: “Your Weight Does Not Determine Your Worth.”)

BUT… the fear thing stood out to me. I didn’t know why because that seemed a drastic thing to claim when I don’t consciously feel afraid of anything specific… especially not my worth being in question because of poor health.

So, I asked God to help me understand that. And as I continued the devotional, it all came to clarity… she asked me, as the reader, to list things that make me feel tense or afraid & as a counter to each, to list THE PEACE OF GOD as greater than anything I could fear.

And my response? My depression symptoms. The angst. The bored restlessness that seems surprisingly consuming at times. The empty numbness that sometimes envelops my brain. The screaming in my head to satiate, to run to comfort, to feel SOMETHING other than that. To hide. To run. To AVOID it.

Hiding My Fears Behind Coping Mechanisms

I thought my coping mechanisms were smart. I thought I was protecting myself. But in that great, strong security fence I had been building around myself, I realized it had inadvertently become my own prison… one of my own making… a sense of “go to those coping mechanisms, OR ELSE.”

I realized I had been hiding my fears behind coping mechanisms all along. That without them, I felt vulnerable… overwhelmed… treading water… my face tingling with anxiety… a weight on my shoulders & around my ankles that threaten to slowly drag me down to despair.

I thought I was doing so well, but I had placed my hope in “happy highs” that can never actually solve the problem or give me any real victory or hope….

The days I lose. The ambition that drowns in my avoidance of feeling all of the above. The empty hours. The wasted fulfillment. The perpetuating emptiness of time passed that can’t be regained. The looming threat.

Facing the Truth… That I Need Someone Greater Than My Coping Mechanisms

So, last night was rough. I was forced to face the truth… that my solution had imprisoned me.

I realized I didn’t know how to go to God in this. I didn’t know how to do anything but run, hide, & stuff. I didn’t know how to face it & overcome it. My coping mechanisms weren’t fixing the problem… they were helping me pretend I was AVOIDING it.

I realized that I didn’t actually trust God’s peace to be enough for me in this particular circumstance. My desperate rush to cover, hide, stuff, run, & avoid proved that.

And I’m afraid. I’m afraid of not running… of standing facing it… of being overcome by it if I don’t run. I’m afraid of losing to it.

I’m afraid God won’t be enough for me in it.

After ALL He has brought me through & ALL His faithfulness He has DEMONSTRATED to me… & I am here doubting… just like the Israelites.

It Took Me 3 Days…

Our sermon at church this week was “How to Lose Your Spiritual Way in 40 Days,” based on the Israelites going quickly from “whatever God says, we will do!!!” faith (Exodus 24:3; Exodus 24:18) immediately to drunken orgies & worshipping a golden calf because Moses went on the mountain & didn’t come back right away (Exodus 32). After ALL God had JUST brought them through miraculously & more than sufficiently (Exodus 15)! WHAT?!?!?

And here I am. Doubting God, too. After ALL He has brought me through even just this past year.

A Prayer of Surrender to Trust God… Even in This

“God, please forgive me. My coping mechanisms have clearly become a stronghold in me. I hold onto them. Satan uses them to convince me I need them more than I need You… or instead of You… that they will serve me better. And I have unknowingly bought into it hook, line, & sinker. Please forgive me! It just feels too much. I hate falling prey to my symptoms… of feeling vulnerable to them… of facing them versus running. I’m too scared. I can’t do it. Help me. Please forgive me. Help my unbelief. You are enough. You are ALWAYS enough. And You’re always faithful… & gentle… & kind… & You gave everything for me, through Jesus, when I didn’t & don’t deserve it. How can I doubt Your sufficiency & willingness here? You’ve proven Yourself. You are worthy of praise, God! Help me set down these chains. Take down my security fence. Become my refuge… my fortitude. Help me to rest in You as sufficient & nothing else. NOTHING ELSE. Help me re-write fulfilling coping mechanisms, with You at its center, clinging to You as my Hope, Guide, Counselor, Faithful Friend, Strength, & Sufficiency! You ARE Enough. I believe, Lord, Help my unbelief. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Is there anything you’re running to instead of to God? What is your personal stronghold that you feel you NEED in place of God’s peace? Where do you feel God’s peace won’t be sufficient for you?

Shine HOPE by going to Him in ALL things. ALL THINGS. His peace… GOD’s peace… is sufficient!

Coming Next Week

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As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Mabel & Walter the Bunnies (Vietnam)

LIMITED EDITION – while supplies last! Cuddly, soft, and lovable, Mabel the Bunny is adorable, mini, fair-trade fun with her cute pink flower and carrot accessory. Each bunny comes with an adorable carrot that is not attached to the bunny making it perfect for creative play! Artisans in Vietnam hand crochet each bunny with soft cotton-blend yarn and neutral cream, black, and pink colors that make this stuffed animal the perfect gift for any occasion or decor. Each huggable bunny is hand stuffed by visually impaired women in areas of extreme poverty.

Have you met Mabel’s best friend, Walter the Bunny? They make quite the pair!

***Every purchase of Walter or Mabel the Bunny provides fair-trade jobs for local women and villagers who are overcoming disabilities, homelessness, and extreme poverty in Vietnam.***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!