I Live with Depression

If you have been following my journey for a little while now, you probably know that I struggle with depression.

Depression has been a regular companion of mine for the most of my life & ebbs & flows with the severity of its symptoms. Sometimes I just feel worn out & a little out of it, other times I have brain fog that makes me go numb & check out, while other times sink me into a dark hole so deep I fear I may never come back out again.

I always understood depression to be only the last one I mentioned above, but depression takes on different forms in different phases of life.

But one thing I have learned in this lifetime battle is that depression is the devil’s playground.

Sometimes I Feel Like a Broken Human

Depression makes me vulnerable. When at its worst, I feel I lack any value because of how checked out I feel in any given situation. I don’t feel I can be “on” for people—you know, humor people & smile at socially appropriate times & be engaging & fun. I just feel numb—so numb that I feel broken.

The regular me becomes trapped under layers of uncaring numbness from the lack of serotonin &/or dopamine. I am still me, just with a thick cloud of numbness engulfing my passions & ambitions.

Because of this, I feel helpless when it gets bad. I feel stuck & trapped & sometimes like I am drowning.

Misunderstood

And people typically don’t get it—understandably. And they want me to just turn “on” & stop acting that way… when I genuinely can’t.

I mean, I got pretty good at acting back in my first two years of high school, after receiving many “looks” & unwelcome responses… but deep down, I knew I was lying to everyone around me, drowning in it alone… misunderstood.

All of these outcomes of depression often make me vulnerable & insecure… misunderstood.

I want to be what people want from me. I want to be the ambitious, determined, friendly person buried in all the blah, but I just can’t… & again, it makes me feel broken, beyond repair… misunderstood.

Depression: The Devil’s Playground

And Satan knows & sees all that vulnerability & insecurity in my weakest phases of my depression.

He knows the lies to whisper to me late at night, reminding me of the weird looks or responses from friends & family who don’t understand why I have inexplicably changed… why I am not as engaging or friendly or “on.”

And because I am in a vulnerable state during my lows, it’s so easy to believe those lies & that shame… & withdraw, thinking their lives would be better & less of a burden without me in it… that’s why depression is oftentimes associated with suicide, because, if left unchecked, believing all of the torrent of lies satan pours on your head… it can feel completely helpless & hopeless of any relief.

But I have to be on guard even more when the lows make their rounds back again, taking up the armor OF God (Ephesians 6), determining to grasp onto God’s Truth as my lifeline—because it is.

Cling to Truth

I have to remind myself of verses I have learned. I have to remember to pray instead of withdrawing & giving up. I have to be diligent in shutting out those little whispered lies of hurtful stabs to my heart.

Depression is the devil’s playground because he likes to kick when we’re down. He likes to exploit our weak spots & insecurities. He likes to lie & say people are better off without us burdening them with our brokenness.

BUT THEY ARE LIES.

And I have to determine to cling to Truth so I don’t get sucked into the vortex of shame, brokenness, & pain.

God As My Anchor

I have to determine to remind myself that IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.

I have to find a friend who is a safe space who will remind me of that & pray with me through it & not demand I shape up or get out… to sit with me in the lows & not need me to be “on” for them to keep me around.

Right now, I am not drowning. I am not in the deep end.

But I feel it. I feel the claws of numbness reaching out to me.

I feel the uncaring, checked out feelings hovering over me.

And I am determining to not give in to become the devil’s playground… to instead stop, accept my weakness as human & cry out to the almighty God for His mighty hand to hold me & keep me going.

Victory In Jesus

Depression used to feel like a curse… like something I would not wish on my worst enemy. A deep void of nothingness & pain.

But I have grown to see it a little differently over the last few years, as I have learned how much of the pain is from giving in to believing satan’s lies versus the depression itself.

That depression makes me weak & vulnerable, yes.

But that the reality is: we are all weak & vulnerable… trying our best to be strong & capable—getting us into trouble. And depression reminds me of my humanity… that victory comes only in Jesus.

A Curse Turned Blessing

Depression reminds me of my very real human need for God.

Depression reminds me that I am not God… but that He IS.

Depression reminds me of my need to learn & to tuck His Truth inside my heart.

Depression reminds me that I am just human & that that is all I am really meant to be—human.

Depression reminds me of why I need Jesus. I am weak. I am flawed. But I am offered grace because of Him.

I Need Him… & Depression Reminds Me of That

He is God. I am not.

He can. I can’t.

I need Him. You need Him. We ALL NEED HIM.

And our reliance should be on HIS ability, not our own.

So, I don’t hate my depression anymore.

Do I enjoy being reminded of my human weakness? No, not really.

But do I enjoy being regularly reminded of my need for Him? Definitely yes.

It’s Okay to Need God’s Help… Because, in Reality? We ALL Do

If you struggle with depression—with lower-than-normal levels of serotonin &/or dopamine, know that it’s okay not to be okay… that it’s okay to be weak… that it’s okay to need God’s help.

Don’t allow satan to play with your vulnerabilities. Don’t let him lie to you & manipulate you.

Determine to cling to God for help, in prayer. Determine to cling to Truth & God’s armor, as laid out for us in Ephesians.

And don’t let your depression become a playground for the devil.

“God Is Our Refuge & Our Strength… Our Very Present Help in Time of Trouble” (Psalm 46)

If you don’t struggle with depression, don’t expect your friends to always be “on” for you. Let them know it’s okay to just BE sometimes… that you would rather have them with you like that rather than to keep your distance. Be their safe space. Pray WITH them, FOR them—when you are weak & vulnerable & feel broken, sometimes it feels like you’re drowning too much to pray—so pray WITH & FOR them.

You don’t have to know the answers & be what they need, because you know the One who does know the answers & Who IS what they need.

Shine HOPE by placing your cares on Him, for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Andean Drop Earrings & Andean Ring

Handcrafted by our newest Artisan partners in Peru, this 24k gold-plated, natural chrysocolla stone ring can be worn alone as a stunning statement piece or paired with our Andean Drop Earrings. Hammered metal & natural variations of swirling green chrysocolla add “Old World” charm to this ethically made ring. Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages in areas of extreme poverty in Peru.

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Parenting Is No Easy Task

Parenting is hard work. It comes with many blessings, for sure, but it cannot be denied that it takes intentional effort & investment into the lives of the littles in your care.

I may not seem qualified at all to talk about parenting, having no children of my own, but I do know that as a fellow human, even without the extra challenges of motherhood, life is hard sometimes & I need God’s help.

Even knowing I need His help, I so often struggle doing life on my own without seeking God’s help right away, & I often see mothers struggle the same way… getting exhausted & losing their cool, sinking in stress, not considering the role God must have in the parenting journey.

I don’t know about you, but it’s much easier for me to react to situations versus prayerfully respond, & I can guess with fair certainty that if I were a mother, that would not immediately change.

God Is with You… Be Still & Know That HE Is GOD

So, I am here to remind you that you don’t have to do it alone.

Even if you have a spouse who doesn’t help out or a father who is out of the picture… even if friends & family don’t come around you… you don’t have to do it alone.

Even on nights where tears of frustration &/or exhaustion are your only companion… you don’t have to do it alone.

Even when the nerves are shot & nothing seems to work & “it’s just the way it is” & it’s the last straw… you don’t have to do it alone….

There IS hope.

Our Struggle Does Not Define Us or Our Lives… God Is Able

Consider my depression. If I am not careful, it becomes my identity, much like mothers who assume the identity of a tired, frayed, can’t-handle-it mom. Our struggles can begin to cling on to our lives like a label of reality we can’t escape.

But God is GOD. He is ALMIGHTY. He is ALL-WISE, ALL-KNOWLEDGEABLE, & ALL-POWERFUL… AND, to top it all off, His actions, His very being is defined by His LOVE.

He can move in the impossible. He can work solutions that weren’t even considered. He can make things happen where there seems no hope &/or no solution.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be able to control every action or behavior. You don’t have to live feeling like a failure.

You have HIM.

Surrender Your Parenting to Him

Surrender ‘those’ days & ‘those’ nights to Him.

Surrender that stress to Him.

Surrender your anxiety & frustrations to Him.

Surrender the “it’s just the way it is” thoughts to Him.

Surrender your parenting to Him.

“HOW?!?” …You may ask….

Pray. Talk to Him about it. Lay it down at His feet, opening up your heart & admitting your struggle & need for Him. Admit to Him & to yourself that where you can’t, He can. Where you see no way, He makes a way.

Bow Your Needs to HIM As Your GOD

Ask Him continually & daily in prayers somewhat like this:

“God, I can’t do this. I feel like a terrible Mom right now. I can’t do anything right. I try to teach them & they don’t listen. Chores never end. I am tired & stressed & just feel like a failure! But You are GOD. I am not, but You ARE. Help me. Give me Your peace that goes beyond understanding. Teach me. Grow me. Help me to honor You in how I respond to this. Help me know HOW to respond to this & empower me to do it right! I react but I want to prayerfully respond in a way that honors You, trusting You to help me in it. Help me learn how to do that. Help me parent. Help me surrender my parenting to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

A Prayer for the Supermom, Too

Maybe you don’t feel stressed with your kids. Maybe you feel capable & strong & like you know what you’re doing. Let me give you another call—surrender that to Him, too.

What seems wise to us is often foolishness to God. It seems right in our own eyes, but we don’t see the whole picture. Only God does. So surrender that capableness to Him, too.

“God, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on this parenting thing, but I want You running the show. I want You guiding my words & my actions & the lessons I teach—not human wisdom… YOURS. Help humble me & allow me to listen for Your guidance over my own. Help me to slow down & bow to Your leading. Thank You for Your patience with me & that You always know best, even when I think I do. Thank You that I can always trust You. Help me trust in that better & to lead with You as my guide… not me. In Jesus’ name, I pray, AMEN.”

The Importance of Intentionally Surrendered Parenting

Some days will be hard. Some days it will feel easier to just not be intentional… to just take a break from trying. Some days you will feel like supermom.

But every day, you ought to surrender your parenting to Him.

Shine HOPE by determining to INVEST moment-by-moment into Your children, raising them up in the way they should go… BY & THROUGH prayer & a surrender to Him in it ALL.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Green Tea & Jasmine Soap Bar

Make every day a spa day for someone you love or make this month a little sweeter & treat yourself to the refreshing natural floral scent & cleansing benefits of our Green Tea & Jasmine Soap Bar from India. Made with essential oils of Green Tea & Jasmine blended with moisturizing natural coconut oil, olive oil, & shea butter, this luxurious soap will delight your senses!

In India, many women in traditional communities still struggle to overcome centuries of gender discrimination. Women are often discouraged from working outside the home. Women with disabilities are often further marginalized by society, making it even more difficult for them to find dignified work & making them even more vulnerable to exploitation by sweatshops. But through your purchase, these artisans are given opportunities to overcome these obstacles & succeed!

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

It’s My Life

Doesn’t it make sense that I would be the main character of MY life? Why would it be any different? It’s MY life, after all… right?

That’s what we grow up hearing, isn’t it? To “live our best life” & “be true to you”. Everything we hear in culture reinforces this idea of it being MY life to live to its fullest.

Even in my walk with learning to lean on & trust in Jesus more each year, I typically frame my life experiences & life lessons around how it grows ME & how it benefits ME.

Now, of course, EVERYTHING God does, from Creation to Jesus is designed for my benefit, but I would be terribly wrong to believe my life is about ME & not about HIM.

Made in His Image

We were made in God’s image… to reflect HIM.

We were made to give Him glory, to glorify Him in EVERYTHING. And as I have talked of this before, this is not arrogance or self-indulgence on His part, but rather gracious, relentless LOVE because He knows that He ALONE is the source of hope we are all seeking & yearning for… the HOPE we NEED—because we ALL deserve Hell & it is our default destination… without JESUS.

So, in giving Him the glory, in pointing to Him as our hope in every situation in life, we are in turn pointing everyone to the only true source of HOPE.

When we glorify God, we point others to HOPE.

And so, it stands to reason that our main reason for existence… our main mission… our ONLY real mission… is to GIVE GOD GLORY.

I’m Missing the Mark

We are not the main characters of our individual lives. We are but the supporting roles to HIS STORY—And until I understand that to my very core, I will be missing the mark.

No wonder the anxiety our culture experiences! A life where we are the main focus leads us ever-searching for that next benefit, next comfort, next thing to give our life meaning & depth & happiness.

But a life that seeks to make it ALL about Him, as the supporting role in HIS story, isn’t concerned about seeking out how it benefits ME but how it benefits HIM.

My self-focus, even in well-meaning “desire for personal growth,” leads also to an ungrateful heart because it makes it all about ME & when something doesn’t seem to benefit ME, it makes me feel snubbed.

Not Easy, but Purposeful

We sing a lot about God being “our Mountain Mover” & how He has a solution & a fix for us, so just keep holding on, etc. etc., but let’s be careful to think about how we frame the context of those phrases.

He of course is a Mountain Mover, but that doesn’t mean His goal is to maintain our certain level of comfort moving mountains to maintain that for us.

In reading the Bible, we can clearly see this is not the reality. People were imprisoned, wrongly accused, betrayed, beheaded, etc. But even when God didn’t get them out of their troubles, “moving mountains for them,” He did give them inexplicable PEACE in the midst of it & moved mountains by reaching the hardened hearts that previously rejected God with hatred. He softened hearts & changed perspectives. Not every mountain moved was to maintain comfort, but to bring HOPE.

He changed lives & infused them with HOPE.

And the disciples didn’t get it easy. They didn’t have everything tied in a pretty bow, made comfortable & easy with everyone loving & accepting them. But they had peace where peace made no sense & they trusted that no matter how little it seemed to benefit them, God had a plan for His glory… to bring HOPE to the hopeless.

Am I the Main Character of My Story?

Let that be my heart cry! Let that be my focus! Let me make HIM the main character of “my” story… because all of our stories are really His anyway.

What does your life speak about Him? What does it tell others about Who He is?

Is He the main character in your story? Or are you?

How does your life point others to the hope He offers through Jesus & when you die, will others know Jesus because of the time you lived on this earth?

Who is the main character in your story?

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Botanica Charms Set

This set of six pairs of versatile jade, Acacia wood, ethically collected bone, tassel, & metal charms are handcrafted in India by Artisans who are committed to fighting child marriage & providing opportunities for women to become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans. Every purchase supports vulnerable women in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win! Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Are We Bearing Consequences We Could Have Avoided If We Had Sought God First?

Have you ever considered the consequences of seemingly inconsequential decisions to just act as most do on something versus stopping to ask God first?

Maybe your decision or solution is simply that of what generations of people have always done in that situation–like going to the doctor when you’re sick… maybe it just seems logical & reasonable like seeking an ally in battle… maybe it doesn’t seem any serious offense like pride, arrogance, or rebellion against God.

That’s how it typically goes for me anyway. I don’t think of it as being prideful or distrusting of God–I’m just acting on what I know to do from past experiences or the advice of those before me.

I don’t think of it as pride to go to the doctor when I am sick. I don’t think of it as turning my back on God when I ask for a friend’s help in crisis. It’s just what what one typically does in those situations.

My Hope Is in the LORD! … Do I Act Like It?

But then this little verse in 2 Chronicles 16 just has to throw a wrench into everything I believe to be reasonable.

“Because you have relied on the king of Syria, & have not relied on the Lord your God, therefore the army of the king of Syria has escaped from your hand.” (2 Chronicles 16:7)

Now. I don’t believe God’s intent with this statement was to throw a temper tantrum of rage, but rather to say, “I could have helped you, but you didn’t even ask me… you went somewhere else for help instead, & because of that decision, you won’t get the help you so desperately sought from other sources.”

God is our hope. Not just our SOURCE of hope… He IS our hope.

He wants us to come to Him as our solution, as our top priority, as our first inclination right off the start.

He knows He can help us & He wants us to know it & seek Him for it as well.

Accepting Sin or Accepting God’s Help for Change?

This also rings true in regard to our sinful habits, ones we think are “just who we are.” Sure, if we act on that assumption (that it’s “just the way we are”), rather than trusting God’s way as best & Him as our help, we won’t find anything else to be true, as we rot from the inside out because of our sin patterns that He passionately wants to help free us from.

But, if we stop to think that although, from our very core, we feel our gut instinct inescapably true, that maybe just maybe the God who created the universe might just MIGHT know better & we stop to ask for HIS way & will & help knowing HOW…. We’ll find the solution we seek in Him.

He Needs to be My First Go-To

God alone knows everything & God alone knows every solution, so why is my gut instinct not to go to God first for everything?

Before I search online for answers.

Before I ask a friend for their thoughts.

Before I ask my parents for advice.

Before I go to a doctor or any professional for help.

Before anything, my first instinct ought to be to seek God’s help, wisdom, & direction.

God Knows What I Cannot See

Maybe He knows I will be ripped off by the person I am inclined to seek help from… maybe they won’t have the skill needed to detect &/or prevent an impending health concern… maybe they are just best-guessing based on previous evidences…?

But God? He only does for my good. He knows exactly who I need to go to. He doesn’t have to guess. EVER.

So why is He not my first go-to for help?

How many times has my life been negatively affected because I did exactly what King Asa of Judah did in 2 Chronicles 16 in going to someone or something else before or instead of going to God?

WAIT on the LORD

Those verses to “wait on the Lord” (Psalm 27:14)… to acknowledge Him [as GOD] in all I do (Proverbs 3:5-6)… to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)… to be still & know that He is God (Psalm 46:10)…

They all beckon me to not just pray as an extra measure or as a last resort, but to sit in prayer, to sit in it & wait on Him, knowing I can go elsewhere, but with HIM, I can be certain… that I ought to wait on Him.

I think a big reason I do everything else before consulting Him is the wait. I see a need & think it must be solved now. My gut instinct is not to see a need & WAIT, even knowing a wait for God is more effective than a quick maybe solution.

God has perfect timing & even His wait is because He knows the circumstances that need to line up just so & that rushing it will not allow for that.

Maybe He guides to go to the hospital, but He doesn’t tell you right away because the doctor who will know & see the real cause/need isn’t working the day you ask God for help & God waits so you see the right doctor… we don’t know.

But we can know that HE knows. And He alone KNOWS—even the TIMING... Even when the wait is frustrating &/or scary.

Trust Him in the wait.

Shame on Me

Shame on me for thinking any other person, even a professional, could trump an all-knowing, all-wise, all-powerful GOD ALMIGHTY.

Shame on me for just jumping to fix it myself as if He doesn’t know better & have perfect timing in all He does.

Shame on me for making myself higher than Him in my heart, as the authority in those decisions–even those decisions not to wait.

My Prayer

“God, I know You get it. You know I am so limited in understanding just how powerful & great You are. I know You are patient & long-suffering. But please forgive me for thinking I might be able to fix it sooner/better than You-for making You lower than You are. I’m sorry for making myself god over seeking You first. Please forgive my pride & foolishness. Please forgive me & help prompt my heart when I am doing it so I remember, ‘oh yeah, pray first.. let GOD.’ Help me change my patterns to stop & consult You before anyone else. Help me recognize that You offer Your wisdom to those who ask & keep asking (not asking a lot to “activate” it, but asking a lot as in a determination to KEEP trusting You even when it doesn’t happen when I think it should). You alone are God. You alone know. Please forgive me & help me grow in awareness & humility… & help me change this bad & prideful habit. In Jesus’ loving & powerful name, Amen.”

“Because You Sought ______ Versus Me….”

Is God your go-to? Is He the One you instantly think to go to first?

Is He the first One you trust to have the answer? Even in timing that isn’t your own? –the ONLY One you trust to have the perfect, RIGHT answer? Even above professionals?

Or is He supplemental or a last resort?

How do you treat the need for the help of God? Is it an “ABSOLUTELY” or a “sometimes”?

Take a moment to take stock of those times & lay them before Him in humble repentance, asking for His forgiveness that He is always so quick to give. And ask for His help to humbly do better at seeking Him first in ALL things.

Remember King Asa & Seek the LORD

Remember 2 Chronicles 16 next time you are faced with an opportunity to see a doctor or seek help in some other way. Will you seek your hope in Him? Or will you pay the consequences of missing out on His wisdom, direction, & aid as told in 2 Chronicles 16?

Will you choose to trust Him, or will it be said, “Because you sought ________________, versus Me…”?

Shine HOPE by making Him your first choice & your first instinctive go-to when you need anything in life, big or small. Because He alone KNOWS.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

–> Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week! <–

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves.

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase these studs & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

I Wanna Do It

It’s not easy for me to stop & be still & just know that HE is God.

When I am faced with something difficult, my trust is not so easily placed in the hands of God… I want to fix it… I want a say… I want to help (so it goes my way—as if I can make it happen that way).

I have realized lately just how much this reveals a lack of trust in God… that it’s easy to know I ought to trust God in all things… & quite a bit more difficult to actually rest in that trust when hard things come my way.

I Know What to Do… But That Doesn’t Mean I Necessarily Submit to Doing What’s Right Every Time

We Christians receive a lot of flak for being hypocrites… & often for good reason.

There are areas of my life where I have seen God work in situations I felt were impossible, teaching me to further rest in Him when similar circumstances arise… but when I am faced with something new, for some reason, my gut response is not to recall all of those other circumstances & thus rest in God’s ability, care, & resources… but for me to start anew by trusting myself first.

It’s Terrifying Sometimes to Entrust Someone Other Than Myself

Trusting God can feel terrifying sometimes because it feels that if I don’t do enough, everything will fail… or at least fail by not going the way I want it to.

Why do I put so much stock in my own efforts & care, even when God has proven Himself faithful & much more capable than I countless times?

More Faith in Him… Or Myself?

This journey of embracing my limitations, while simultaneously embracing the limitless nature of God, is no easy task. It requires me placing more faith in Him than I do myself—& with all the many times He has proven Himself capable while I have often failed, you would think I would be much quicker to jump to God for help.

Learning to Trust God’s Plan More Than What I Can See

My current situation is no different. We are moving to Guam, with little option to bring our cat of 9 years (aka our furbaby) with us.

I want to rest in God & know He has a perfect plan in it all, but instead, all I often feel is worry, afraid that His answer will be something I won’t like & wanting to step in & fix it myself just in case that happens to be so.

How little I trust God!

God Knows What I Don’t—And All He Does Is for Our Good

Even in times where His answer was the exact opposite of how I asked Him to help in a situation, in hindsight, I eventually ALWAYS saw His plan as exceedingly better than mine—no matter how hard it was to trust & follow His way at the time.

For example, when I long ago had to say goodbye to my first love in order to follow God’s leading on my heart, it was the LAST thing I wanted to do, but I see now that my heart wanted someone I was not fit for & that my husband now (who, at the time I didn’t even know existed or whether he would ever come into my life at all) ended up being such a better fit for me & I for him.

God KNOWS what He is doing, even when in MY ”wisdom” He is doing something I want to fight back against.

God KNOWS

God doesn’t have to “best guess” it. He doesn’t have to trial & error it. He just KNOWS.

I know I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. I know every single person has at least a small area where they hold back or try to self-solve, self-shield, or self-soothe in their own limited wisdom, thinking it’s up to them…. as I do….

But I also know I need to not let that become an excuse & that holding onto this control for myself just leads to unnecessary anxiety, fear, stress, & overwhelm… that it keeps me trapped in the facade that I have any true control over my life, ever on the hamster wheel of trying to maintain what’s not up to me to maintain… instead of learning the true rest that comes from trusting God to KNOW.

God Is Patient… God Is Kind

It’s a process. It’s a failing forward.

I don’t always get it right… I most often DON’T get it right the first however many times.

But God is patient & God KNOWS what to do when I am finally willing to come rest at His feet for help… to place the situation in His hands versus gripping onto false control for myself.

A Journey of Embracing My Limitations

If you met me in person, I am sure my highlight reel would be a tempting perspective of me… but I am no different than anyone else… I get it wrong… a lot… I forget to pray for help & usually just act on instinct first instead.

And I am on a journey of ever learning how to embrace my limitations so I can better rest in the limitlessness of God Almighty & His gracious, capable love.

Shine HOPE by learning to accept that God knows more & better… that He can where you can’t… that He wants your GOOD… that even if His solution seems scary or hard, you can rest in knowing that He has a plan, that He knows what He is doing, & ultimately that it’s even for your GOOD. Amen & amen.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for 4 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Long Chain Necklace (India)

Love long chain necklaces? This is the necklace for you. This silver-tone link-chain design is handcrafted in India & is totally on-trend! Wear alone, double up, or layer together with other chain necklaces from our One World Collection, like our Long Chain Necklace – Gold.

Every purchase provides fair trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Back to the Tropical

Much to our surprise, my husband & I will be moving again this Summer—back to Guam.

People keep asking me how I feel about it, & the best answer I can give them is, “I go back & forth.” Now don’t get me wrong, Guam is a beautiful & magical place to visit, but my personal experience living there wasn’t entirely positive.

Part of my experience there had to do with the demanding work schedule my husband was on, where he was gone so much I felt mostly alone on the opposite side of the world. Another part was that most people our age were so busy that they didn’t have much space for us in their lives—not at all their fault—just the way it was back then.

I felt pretty alone there. And the idea of going back sort of makes me feel like I had finally beat a really hard level in a video game only to have the game glitch & make me replay the level.

A Rough Time Re-Visited?

Maybe these reasons seem silly &/or lame to you, but for someone who didn’t grow up military, lived near family her whole life, had long-time friends, to move to the other side of the globe, with an opposite time zone & no smart phones at the time… it was pretty rough.

When my husband first announced his happening upon this new job, I honestly just felt dread. Anxiety swished around in my brain & I felt overwhelmed & anxious. I didn’t want to re-live the rough time I had there before.

Journal My Thoughts, Face My Fears, & PRAY…

Normally, when anxious thoughts swirl around in a whirlwind of thoughts, I have found that taking out a journal & listing them all out really helps me to face the source of my fears, naming them versus faceless swirls of anxiety.

So, I did just that. I got out a journal, & began just pouring out the anxieties on my heart so I could face each one & let God dispel the fear & encourage my heart to pray over the different things that worried my heart so much.

But, as I did so, most items on that list were things that perceivably just won’t be changing any time soon… & the more I wrote…. The more I thought & prayed over the points on that list… the more anxious I became. So much for that idea!

Rejoice in Affliction??

And I cried. I felt bitter & frustrated & resistant toward the whole situation, wondering why our planned “2 more years in Japan & then back to the states” idea had to change so suddenly.

And as I cried & prayed… God whispered over my heart the words “rejoice in affliction.” (Romans 5:3-5)

That was not at ALL what I wanted to hear from God. How in the world, when I am feeling such turmoil of emotions, am I supposed to have JOY & REJOICE in AFFLICTION?!

My Attitude Check

At first, I was just like, “well, thanks for nothing,” but reluctantly, eventually I apologized to God for my initial bratty response, & asked Him, “God, okay. I’m sorry. You know best… better than me… but how am I supposed to have JOY in affliction? HOW can I REJOICE in affliction? I don’t even see how that can be possible for me so how am I supposed to do it? Please show me & teach me how because it feels impossible to me right now. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Guess what His whispered-over-my-heart response to my prayer was? Two words: “Even if….”

Will I… Even in the ”Even If”?

Even if. Will I choose to praise Him even if He DOESN’T answer me the way I want… even IF He doesn’t wrap up all the details with a pretty bow for me… even IF He doesn’t make it easy for me first…?

Will I praise Him even if…? Will I trust Him even if…? Will I follow His lead even if…?

Maybe you’re thinking, “well, of course you submitted & said sorry & everything got fixed….”

Except, my response went more like: “I’m going to need a few days to think about it.”

I Wanted Everything Wrapped Up in a Pretty Bow for Me

Over the next few days, I was determined I wouldn’t let it go. I was frustrated. I didn’t want an EVEN IF situation! I wanted a solution, a fix, a pretty wrapped-up-in-a-bow deal.

But that wasn’t God’s answer to me. His answer to me remained that two word question: “even if?”

And so began the cycle of crying in frustration upon being reminded of His response, apologizing for being so resistant to Him, to asking for His help AGAIN with the whole “joy in affliction” thing.

They Didn’t Wait for the Fire to be Put Out First

As I prayed, God reminded me of Shadrach, Meshach, & Abednego, how, when they were told to dishonor God or else be thrown into a fiery furnace (to the death), they chose to honor God no matter the cost. (Read the full story in Daniel 3.)

And they didn’t know God was going to rescue them. They didn’t know the “one who is like the Son of God” would meet them in the furnace & keep them from even SMELLING like smoke.

And even before knowing any of that would happen, these mens’ response was: “EVEN IF!”

They didn’t wait for God to put out the flames first.

Their response was: “EVEN IF!”

He Has It Under Control & He Has a Plan… Even If

How convicting. How humbling. How not-at-all-what-I-wanted-to-hear.

It hasn’t been easy for me moving forward with this move, but just in being willing to hear Him out & seek His help in the “even if” & the “joy in affliction” parts, I have seen Him grow in me a peace… not an eveything-is-going-to-work-out-the-way-you-want-anyway peace… but an “Okay God, I get it. Even if. You have it under control & You have a plan… even if.”

Life doesn’t always go the way I plan (big surprise there, huh?) & doesn’t always even go the way I want (anyone else?)… but God has a plan in it, so I can rest in that.

I’m a Work in Progress

I’m still a work-in-progress, but I can trust my anxieties & fears & unmet expectations to an all-knowing, all-powerful, LOVING God.

“So, God, here I am. I’m sorry I am not jumping to trust you in the no-matter-what’s of life, but thank You for being patient, gentle, & long-suffering with me & with all of us. I don’t deserve You, but I am so grateful that I can lean on You when life doesn’t go my way. You have a plan. You are enough. You have it under control. You are loving… even in the “even if….”

Shine HOPE by asking Him to help you know HOW you to even have joy in affliction & how to trust & follow Him, even in the “EVEN IF….”

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over 4 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Infinity Earrings

These pure silver infinity hoop earrings with a subtle hammered-metal finish are handcrafted in Guatemala & are designed to coordinate with many of your other favorite styles from our Living Tapestry Collection. Each earring features a pure silver charm at the top of each infinity hoop that’s embossed with the fingerprint of the woman who made it!

—>Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Guatemala.<—

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

We’re All Broken in Our Own Way

For me, it’s always been easy to look at the highlight reel of other ladies’ lives on social media, especially those living to proclaim the grace of Jesus, & forget that they are broken humans just like me.

You may feel like ”broken” is a strong word, but their brokenness may be from wrong choices, rebellion from God, trauma of their past, etc., but every person has a form of brokenness… just like me.

Maybe you observe me & see my smiling face on my videos or my weekly blog posts, running for the last 4 years (how has it already been 4 years?!) & you mistakenly believe I am the something to strive for… as if I am the finished product & you’re the broken, work-in-progress.

But I assure you that it couldn’t be further from reality. We all have areas we’re stronger in than others & it’s easy to see those strong, already-grown-in-areas in others & forget that they also have weak areas, too.

God Helps Me in My Weaknesses & Human Brokenness

I may have stuck with this blog for 4 years, but not without a lot of procrastinating, kicking & screaming & then eventual submission to God’s help on my part.

And aside from my I’d-rather-just-skip-it-&-be-lazy tendencies, I have so many scars & hurt areas of my heart that God has had to lead me through.

Like we talked about last week, I had to be willing to submit those hurt areas to Him for help, but I wasn’t always willing.

The Pride of Refusing God’s Help

You would think if I was hurting, that I would quit my way for His, but oftentimes, I find comfort in my bitterness because it feels like it’s deserved. It is hard to trust my hurts to someone else, even if that someone else is God.

I want to feel angry when I’ve been hurt. I don’t want to let it go because it feels like I am letting the offender off the hook when I do.

Because of this stubborn pride, I created some of my own scars, just from refusing to be helped by God.

Some of My Many Scars Where God Helped Make Me Whole

I have been sexually assaulted by a friend whom I trusted.

I have struggled in the past with feelings that I was too fat & ugly to ever be loved.

When I was younger, I felt my identity was as “The Flirt” because I felt it was how I fit in… Trapped by a fear to never let my guard down to show the real me or risk losing my friend group.

I have gone through such loneliness that I refused to pray anymore because I was so bitter & angry that God didn’t make my discomfort go away, versus trusting Him to be my enough in it.

I have had to walk away from & break the heart of someone I loved because God clearly said NO, when I so desperately wanted Him to say yes, feeling the harsh sting of heartbreak.

I have felt lost & swimming through life, not knowing where I fit in or what my purpose was, not feeling clear direction in any certain way.

I have faced 2 years+ of depression in my past, where suicide thoughts were daily & I felt like my very existence was a burden on those I loved.

I have been betrayed by friends whom I trusted with my everything.

I could go on & on, but one very important fact must shine out to you from all of that—God has been faithful through every bit of it.

But, GOD IS FAITHFUL

I don’t have my life all together. I fail & choose wrongly way too often. I choose my “wisdom” over God’s more often than not. I am selfish & proud towards God, & have given Him far too many reasons to just quit on me & move on for good….

But God is faithful. He is patient & kind. He takes my brokenness & He makes me whole.

Every time I have faced any of those things, no matter how long it took me to come to Him—when I did, He was faithful & forgiving & all I needed through making me whole despite whatever it was.

I am where I am, running this blog & a social media community not because I am the prime example, but because despite my brokenness, He makes me whole.

He heals. He forgives. He restores. He gives purpose. He strengthens. He comforts.

He makes me whole.

God Makes Me Able

So, when you see some Christian woman leading a group to encourage women toward Jesus, even much more successfully than my humbly small little group, don’t look at her as the prime example either.

See her as a fellow human with broken parts made whole by the power & love & grace of Jesus, empowered & led by Him to serve Him as she does.

Every week, ashamedly, is a battle of the wills for me—Obey God or lay on the couch scrolling random videos on social media. Obey God or watch tv with snacks. Obey God or waste my time away doing literally anything else I can think of.

Do I submit typically? Yes. But not immediately, not without His help & sometimes not even willingly.

My Prayers Usually Sound Something Like:

“God, I’m sorry I don’t want to do this. I know it would maybe encourage others, if they even read it. I know maybe it points to you even though it feels no one cares. I know it’s important to be consistent & to keep showing up, to show that You are faithful, even when I fail. But I don’t wanna. I want to be lazy & selfish & have an easier time without work I don’t even get paid for. I don’t have a boss to answer to. I could just quit. I’m sorry for only wanting to think about myself & my ease. I’m sorry for such shallow motives. Please forgive me. Help me submit to You more readily. Help me do this. Help me to show up for You. HELP ME. I’m sorry I am so selfish. Please forgive me & please help me. My weakness for Your glory, always. In Jesus’ name, I pray: AMEN.”

Nothing Is Beyond His Reach

No matter how broken I have felt in my past, nothing has been beyond His reach… Nothing has been beyond His ability to heal & to turn to my good.

God is faithful. He loves you. He knows your broken parts & He can help make you whole.

Offer those broken parts of yours up to Him. Don’t shoulder them as ”just the way it is.”

Let Him take you broken parts & make you whole.

Don’t Hold God Back from Taking Your Broken Parts & Making You Whole

Do you feel trapped or controlled or limited by your broken parts?

Do you feel it’s “just the way it is”?

Do you look at others as “the finished product” versus a fellow work-in-progress?

Let God heal. Submit your weaknesses to Him & ask Him to work through them for His glory.

Ask God to help you trust Him more than “the way it is.”

Ask Him to help you see others through the lens of HIS glory through their human weaknesses versus their own supposed strength/glory.

And shine HOPE by trusting that God can take YOUR broken parts & make you WHOLE for HIS glory.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

Thank YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Zoya Earrings

Zoya means “shining, life” in Hindi. These stylishly stunning gold-toned earrings are handcrafted in India, featuring genuine freshwater pearls on a delicate linked-chain design. Every purchase provides fair-trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

God Is Able… So Why Do I Resist His Help?

First of all, we all know, deep down or otherwise that God is capable of it all. He is infinite in His power, wisdom, & resources… so when I determine to respond to life in my own power & fall short in that while refusing His help, that is my sin fleshed out in my pride.

God’s been convicting my heart of this fact over the last few years—that when I refuse His help even for healing trauma/hurts—it’s actually sin.

Sometimes it’s easier to not ask for God’s help. Even when I hate the pain, I sometimes hate the idea of “letting someone get away with something by moving on” even more, or I find comfort in feeling justified to not let something go… & I sometimes even begin to wrap my identity around it, thinking, “Well, I’m just not the type of person to _______.”

I resist His help because I oftentimes think I am handling things “just fine” or “as well as can be expected.”

Hurts… Well… HURT

We all have hurts, whether it’s scars from bullying at school that we sort of subconsciously internalize in the back of our minds as adults, or whether they are hurtful words someone we care about once said recklessly that we now rehearse whenever an event triggers those hurts, or whether we make choices based on survival mode in reaction to something wrong or painful done to us or that we were subjected to.

And when all those types of things happen, it is only natural for me to develop a trigger response to help protect me from getting hurt again, disappointing others, embarrassing myself further, feeling like I don’t fit, or whatever the fear may be for that particular circumstance.

Hurts hurt & when they do… I do what I know to protect myself from further hurt.

The Natural Response Versus the Response with God’s Help

And it feels natural, these responses, because they are my natural defense mechanisms, often subconscious even… I am not consciously aware of & choosing to do it my way over God’s or anything like that… my brain just comes up with whatever feels like the best safety protocol & does it without much thought on my end.

This same sort of defense mechanism that we all employ in one way or another, doesn’t feel sinful or rebellious.

And, in some cases, in a way—it isn’t… It’s what we do with them that matters.

When We Learn God’s Way, We Have to Make a Choice Regarding Our Natural Response Versus His Help for His Way

But then, we learn God’s Truth about a matter. I hear Him say not to hold bitterness or whatnot & then I have a choice to make at that point—do I continue just reacting in my natural response to the situation?

Or do I take God’s commands/Truth & submit my response to His help & healing?

That’s where the sin generally becomes solid sin in those situations, because while I didn’t mean to be sinful in feeling bitter about a situation—it was just my natural, gut response to the pain trigger—once I hear from Him that I shouldn’t be bitter & that He is able to heal the brokenhearted, I have to choose to let Him… to do things HIS way over my gut reaction way.

I Often Choose Wrongly

So, how does that look in reality?

Typically, whatever my gut response is happens first, out of habit.

Then, I feel His nudge & a reminder of His Word about how I ought to handle it.

And then, I usually fight it, feeling justified in how I feel I want to react about it.

And eventually, I realize my way just seems to make me more miserable & I desperately ask God to help me see a different way… to help me do things HIS way, even if that may seem impossible to me in that particular circumstance.

My Triggered Response Often Becomes Mingled with My Identity As “Someone Who Just _____”

Sometimes my trigger responses become part of my identity & it seems impossible to change because “I am just that way,” or “that’s just how my heart handles that type of thing,” or, “that’s just what I’ve found helps me.”

It becomes so engrained in my gut response that it seems inseparable from ME. I begin to identify as a person who does whatever it is in that type of situation.

So, coming across God’s Word about whatever such things, can sometimes feel like a personal attack against me—like I can’t be ME… like I have to be FAKE to please God… like my NATURAL response or feeling is WRONG–& it is, because it’s led by my human flesh versus the wisdom of God.

But my identity is not in how I have subconsciously trained myself to deal with whatever trigger or trauma may present itself… it is in trusting God to know better than I do & that He can handle it better than I can–if I let Him help me His way.

I Need to Let Him Decide Because He Never Gets It Wrong

When God makes me aware of a poor way of handling something or of the fact that I am forming my identity around something that doesn’t actually need to define me, I feel attacked because it throws into question everything I think I know about myself & how to handle hurts.

And when what I know seems under attack… my comfort zone… that is usually where the rebellion & refusal to admit a need for change happens—the sin of it—because my pride tells me “that’s just who I am & I can’t help it,” while God says I shouldn’t determine what I should be, but rather let Him decide instead.

Our Benevolent King of Kings

But God always & only wants our good. Everything He does & commands centers around His love & goodness toward all of us. He is a very benevolent, almighty King—it may not always be the easy or comfortable choice—but it is most definitely always for our good.

I shouldn’t question or doubt Him. I shouldn’t rebel & make my refusal to accept His help turn into a sinful response.

I SHOULD just OBEY Him.

It’s not easy for me, I admit. I want to vet everything He asks of me, checking it out before I obey—pride is the root of every sin we commit, because it essentially says we think we know better.

I need to be willing to take my gut response, my “identity” that I have established, my trauma triggers, etc. & be WILLING TO SUBMIT THEM TO HIM.

A Prayer of Repentance & for Help with a Willingness to Accept His Help:

“God, please forgive me. I’m sorry that I cling to “my identity” or the “it’s just who I am” thoughts versus trusting You 100% ALWAYS know better than me. Help me submit those reactions to You. Help me not wrap my identity around anything besides what You created in me—Your Truth versus how I feel it ought to be. Please forgive me for refusing Your help sometimes & going on my gut versus Your limitless wisdom. Help me to better submit to Your help. Help me be more aware of when I need to make that choice. Help me choose to trust You to help me & to be willing to BE helped versus staying in my “understandable” bitterness or other wrong choices. You know best. Always. Help me to better trust that & to better submit to Your will, Your way, Your help, & Your healing. I love You. In Jesus’ name, I pray: AMEN.”

Ask Him for the HOW & for the HELP to Do It

So, if you feel trapped by a sin that “you can’t help or control,” when God says to do otherwise… don’t refuse His help.

Ask Him to help you see HOW to change & to walk you through it, trusting His will over your own.

Don’t let Satan deceive you into thinking you have to be that way, knowing that it’s God who can take your brokenness & make you whole.

Shine HOPE by letting God in & letting Him help you through whatever it may be.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Darling Charms Set

This set of six pairs of versatile & colorful ethically collected bone, clay, & metal charms are handcrafted in India by Artisans who are committed to fighting child marriage & providing opportunities for women to become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans. Designed to mix & match, create a new look each time you wear them with our Customizable Gold Hoops (shown) or your favorite bracelets & necklaces!

Every purchase supports vulnerable women in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Is This Fair?

“For whoever shall keep the whole law, & yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.” (James 2:10)

I used to think this verse seemed unfair… that I could get it all right & yet make one mistake & it’s as if I committed every sin there is. I used to think it was an overly dramatic & ruthless response to one sin. I used to think it illogical—that, if this were so, what’s the point in trying to avoid other sins if one makes you guilty of them all anyway?

But all of that was really just indicative of the fact that I didn’t really understand what sin was in the first place.

The root of sin is the same for every sin—thinking we know better than or trying to put ourselves above God.

Sin Shows Where We Trust Ourselves or Our Desires… Over God

When we crave something God tells us to avoid, & we give into that craving… we are trusting our desire over God’s wisdom.

When we act out of a gut, knee-jerk reaction, where God tells us to turn to Him for help in it instead… we are trusting our feelings over God’s wisdom.

When we go to or do something God tells us to avoid… we are trusting our logic & reasoning over God’s wisdom.

When we avoid something God tells us to do… we are trusting our fear & insecurities over God’s wisdom.

Why Is It That One Sin Equals All?

So, why is it that one sin equals all? Because anything we do that is considered sin stems from a subconscious (or outright) belief that maybe we know better than God or see something He doesn’t or need something He can’t handle or provide.

No matter how small or infrequent our sin may seem to us… every occurrence reveals an area where we think we may know better than God Himself.

This is why, even though one sin is as if I did them all, I should avoid just doing them all, even if I committed one sin already. Because I need to be moving in the direction of MORE trust in God, versus LESS.

God Is Both Loving AND Forgiving–He Made a Way Where There Is No Way

And this Truth of one sin being as if I committed them all does not make God unkind or unforgiving, but quite the opposite because even if one sin equals doing them all—we can’t save ourselves anyway! AND, JESUS offers His payment on our behalf to ANYONE who accepts it.

So, when God tells us in James 2:10 that one sin is as if committing them all, He is revealing to us the true nature of sin—putting ourselves above Him in one way or another–& THAT is why even the “littlest” sin is such a terrible thing… but, JESUS.

Take That “Little” Sin to Jesus

So, if there is a sin you are justifying because it feels secret or little or easily justifiable because of the circumstances… recognize that that one “little” sin is the same as doing them all… Recognize that that one “little” sin hurts God (& you) just as much as them all.

–> And repent. Admit it to God & admit you need His forgiveness for it–& ask Him for that forgiveness! <–

Work to not allow ANY sin to be excused away in your life, but strive to live a life that is wholly pleasing to God, honoring Him in all things… WITH HIS HELP.

And shine HOPE by not excusing away that “one little sin.”

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Long Chain Necklace (India)

Love long chain necklaces? This is the necklace for you! This silver-tone link-chain design is handcrafted in India & is totally on-trend! Wear alone, double up, or layer together with other chain necklaces from our One World Collection, like our Long Chain Necklace – Gold. Every purchase provides fair trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

In India, poverty often leads to exploitation of vulnerable Artisans in sweatshops. Every purchase provides these Artisans with fair wages, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members.

Purchase this necklace & empower an Artisan in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Do Traditions Trump Recognizing Jesus?

Easter is such a special time, no matter how much I take it for granted every year.

Deep down, I know it’s about Jesus… about Him coming to His Earth as a man, willingly dying to cover the debt of my own sin, rising from the grave as Conqueror over that sin & death. I know it’s about His love & sacrifice for me… for you….

And I may not be big into Easter bunny traditions, making my excitement about candy stashes & such, but I STILL find ways to overshadow the true reason we ought to celebrate Easter–Jesus.

Not Just a Nod

My challenge to you, & to myself, is that we look for ways to thank Jesus every Easter, not in a “let’s remember to thank Jesus!”…. “Thank You, Jesus!”…. “Ok, let’s get dressed up, do our church thing, eat a lot of food, & eat a bunch of candy after we go see the Easter Bunny!”… But really MAKE IT ABOUT JESUS.

That’s harder than it seems sometimes, for me.

I grow complacent pretty easily.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do the whole, “Thank You, Jesus,” but more out of, “I know I ought to thank Him—it’s EASTER, after all,” rather than any real bowing of my heart in gratefulness to His sacrifice on my behalf…. More out of “Christian necessity” rather than a surrendered heart of gratitude.

Jesus Gave It All & None of Us Deserve It

Without Jesus, I would get Hell & have no other option.

I could try, as many do, to be a “good person” & do all of the right “Christian-y things,” but without Jesus, I would get Hell… every single one of us would.

God says: “For whoever shall keep the whole law, & yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.” (James 2:10)

God says: “But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)

God says: “And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.” (Matthew 25:46)

God says: “As it is written: ‘There is none righteous, no, not one;’” (Romans 3:10)

God says: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23)

God says: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)

But God also says: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Do You Numb Over It As Easily As I Do?

How is it so easy for me to numb over all of that? To give myself so much credit that I forget the weightiness of this gift that we are meant to remember & celebrate on Easter?

I need to learn how to be intentional in making Easter about JESUS—specifically, exclusively about JESUS.

I am not saying fun traditions are evil or necessarily wrong, but we need to be so careful not to, even unintentionally, overshadow the weightiness of this beautiful gift we have been given through Jesus.

We deserve Hell. I deserve Hell.

We can’t earn otherwise. I can’t earn otherwise.

But… JESUS. Let me not forget that!

But… JESUS

“But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5)

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:16-17)

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.” (John 11:25)

“For Christ also suffered once for sins, the Just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit,” (1 Peter 3:18)

But, JESUS.

How Can You Intentionally Make Easter About Jesus?

How do you make Easter about Jesus?

Do you talk about Him? Share about Him with people who matter to you? Do you stop to consider your daily “little” sins of trusting your own wisdom over God’s & thank Him for taking your deserved punishment on Himself so you can live daily by grace instead of guilt?

Do you make Easter about JESUS?

An idea God gave me several years ago was to make quiche as my Easter dinner versus a feast. A meal where the eggs are cracked open, broken, & poured out to provide me with a nourishing, delicious meal–much like how Jesus allowed Himself to be broken, pouring out His love & life to give me life.

Or maybe, talk about Easter eggs representing Jesus being broken for our sins, to give us a wonderful gift, much better than the candy even that we find inside our Easter eggs.

Even take some time of renewal, if there are sins you hold back or try to hide or justify… bring them to God, in prayer, asking forgiveness & thanking God for Jesus’ covering over that, too. Take it as an opportunity to refresh your hope in His grace over your sin.

Whatever you choose to do, make efforts to make Easter all about Jesus.

Accept the Gift of Jesus That We Celebrate Every Easter

And if you haven’t accepted Jesus, if you have rebelled “beyond forgiveness,” realize that NO ONE is beyond forgiveness with Jesus. Just take those sins… those “I know better than You, God” actions… & admit them to God, ask for His forgiveness, & ask for Jesus to cover those on your behalf, knowing He is the ONLY way back to God & restoration/redemption. He is our Redeemer & He died so that we may live & He now lives so that we may live in Him!

Jesus doesn’t stand in your way, determining who does or doesn’t deserve His free gift of covering our sins—because not a single one of us CAN deserve it—He offers it freely to ANYONE who will believe ON HIM as that solution of redemption & grace before God. So, ask Him now.

And shine HOPE by letting whatever you do, in reflection or in tradition, even if you need to first ask God for ideas… work to make Easter (& every day) about Jesus.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Zoya Earrings (India)

Zoya means “shining, life” in Hindi. These stylishly stunning gold-toned earrings are handcrafted in India, featuring genuine freshwater pearls on a delicate linked-chain design. Every purchase provides fair-trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!