The Chains of Lust

Last week, I talked about lust… the silent, secret destroyer.

I mentioned my own battle with it, my justifications of it, & the damage I saw it cause in my own relationship with my husband… & why we really should trust God when He says to avoid it.

It’s easy for me to find the “loophole” of good moral behavior on the outside, with good intentions on the inside, while still seeking to please myself, my way… & thus hurting myself.

When we try to find “loopholes” in God’s laws, we’re not just hurting Him, but ourselves AND others, even if we’ve convinced ourselves, &/or others, of our innocence.

Let’s Talk About Sex

But let’s be clear… God made sex.

God designed sex to be ENJOYED between a husband AND wife (aka it’s not just for the man).

God even had a whole chapter in the Bible written about sex.

In other words, God cares about sex.

Sex Is Also Meant for the Wife

Through my journey with temptation to lust or fantasize, I have noticed also the cry/lie that sex is not meant for women, but to keep the husband happy.

This often leads women to seek satisfaction from other means, like erotica, pornography, romance novels, fantasizing, or stuffing down their desires, leaving them bitter & cold to their husband’s desires.

But what if we, as women, stopped turning to our own “solutions” as seen above, & started trusting that if God made it for husband & wife to enjoy together, that God can help repair & restore that design the way He meant it to be?

What if we stopped settling for sin &/or accepting our own dissatisfaction?

What if we trusted God’s design instead?

A Treasured Joy between Man & His Wife

Media & culture often presents sex as careless, reckless, meaningless, passionate, too-perfect, easy, empty pleasure.

God designed sex to bring a husband & wife close with intimacy, enjoyment, oneness, as meaningful, connected, & fulfilling pleasure.

I used to believe the presentation of sex in movies, that it didn’t mean much & that if you felt off or yucky or cheap or used or dirty afterwards, that was the exception, not the rule.

But sex was never meant to be carelessly thrown about. It was meant to be a treasured joy for a husband & wife to share.

Not Meant to Leave You Feeling “Icky”

I didn’t have sex before marriage, but even with the “messing around” that I did, I was left feeling icky. I felt used & cheap, even though I encouraged it to happen.

I kept thinking that if I just toughed up, I would finally achieve the joy from it that everyone else seemed to have, but I was always left feeling empty & gross.

God’s Design Vs Our Design for Desires

A friend of mine did not wait until marriage to have sex & she shared this with me to share with you:

“On sex before marriage—my experience—I didn’t understand sex. My view of sex was distorted & perverted [from God’s design for it]. I did not know what God’s design for sex really looked like. On top of that, I was rebellious & I gave in to all of my lusts & desires. In the end, all I was left with was heartbreak & an emptiness. The culture wants you to believe—Satan wants you to believe—sex before marriage, casual sex, is more satisfying, but Satan is a liar & he wants to deceive us.”

Sin Never Delivers What It Promises Us

Sin NEVER delivers what it promises. It NEVER satisfies truly. It leaves you feeling empty & gross, because it’s sin.

That’s why God tells us to avoid it, because He made us & knows exactly how we’re wired, no matter what culture (or Satan) tries to tell you that contradicts God’s Word.

God knows what will bless us & what will hurt us.

We need to fear God in the sense that He is SO FAR ABOVE us & MADE us & KNOWS literally EVERYTHING… & His Word should be trusted & obeyed, even if we’ve convinced ourselves that the world’s way (or our way) is better.

Because the world’s way will always leave you wanting… empty… searching… looking for more….

But God’s way satisfies completely.

Not Without Temptations

That doesn’t mean we won’t be tempted. It doesn’t mean our flesh won’t scream for instant gratification & beg us to believe the world’s view on sex because it seems easier to access… but knowing it won’t actually fulfill us & thus turning it away to ask for ONLY God’s way is the first step to finding healing & TRUE satisfaction.

I have been fighting this fight for two plus years now (against the temptation of turning to fantasies) & struggled with it for years before I realized how much damage it was causing me… & when I look back at myself, then addicted to fantasies & lust, always going to that versus my husband, how empty & unsatisfied & even bitter I felt… to now seeing breakthroughs of healing, trust, satisfaction & contentment…. I would never want to go back to my old views because they left me so bitter & empty.

God Made Sex

Again, God made sex.

God designed sex to be enjoyed between husband AND wife.

God even had a whole chapter in the Bible written about sex.

In other words, God cares about sex!

Only God’s Way Truly Satisfies

If you are unmarried & seeking satisfaction via sex or fantasies or lust or erotica or pornography or romance novels, etc., I will tell you right now that the longer you seek to find satisfaction there, the emptier you will feel over time.

If you are married & feel unsatisfied in the bedroom & therefore seek pleasure via sex elsewhere, or fantasies or lust or erotica or pornography or romance novels, etc., I will tell you right now that the longer you seek to find satisfaction there, the emptier you will feel over time.

Ask for Mercy… Receive Mercy… Do It God’s Way

Turn to God. Surrender your chains. Ask forgiveness of your sin.

God is slow to anger & quick to mercy.

God’s mercies are new every morning.

God is quick to forgive us our sins.

God is able to do immeasurably more than you can ask or even imagine.

God made you. Turn to Him. Trust His design & turn away from your own.

Only Jesus can satisfy you & everything else is but a cheap imitation… a mirage of false hope.

Shine HOPE by taking any sexual sin to God & by no longer conceding to give in to seeking out satisfaction your own way.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs (from India)

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

The Poison of Lust

Since I have recently been sharing specific chains I wrestle with in my life, I thought it would be a good time to focus in on one of them that I struggled with a majority of my life, (yes, even as a pre-teen): LUST.

I was taught in church early on that sex was meant for marriage & was taught this in such a way that it strongly discouraged me from considering sex as a youth.

While I appreciate not having had that particular baggage going into my marriage, I wish this topic had been expanded on a little better, because it left some loopholes that set me up for some addictions I have struggled to shake off my whole life.

Scars of Addiction

Because sex before/outside of marriage was so strongly discouraged at church, as is God’s design, I experienced little of the scars that inevitably arise as a result of disregarding God’s design… scars that so many of my friends have since confided in me about.

But I was not immune to scars from a different source: the growing addiction to fantasies & lust.

I, as human, struggle with a sin nature. I may have accepted Jesus saving me when I was pretty young, but I still struggled: spirit against flesh.

The Righteous Façade

And because I misunderstood God’s character to be all about rules as a Christian, versus His handing us His DESIGNED Truth in the Bible, I grew up pretty “moral” (on the outside).

I learned quickly how to appease parents & Sunday school teachers & church friends by adapting to what was considering “right” behavior… & as long as I felt I displayed that “right” character well enough, I thought my inner thoughts didn’t matter too much.

God says otherwise.

The Secret Struggle

Lust has always been a weak point for me & Satan knew it. He also knew that I incorrectly viewed righteousness by God’s design as “acting like a good person”, making me vulnerable to other attacks of temptation to do things that seemed “less wrong.”

Much like many American women, I secretly struggled against lust.

Many women indulge in pornography & erotica, but little is talked about it.

That was not my particular battle, since both were strongly warned against by my parents at a young age, but instead, I created my own in my mind, using imaginary people in my imaginings… thinking that made it completely okay & following all the right rules before God.

I was wrong.

Matthew 5:27-28 may have been addressing men, but it applies to women as well when it says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

God Knows. God Loves. God Commands–For Our Good

I had been wanting a loophole & Satan gladly provided me with one.

But this “loophole” wasn’t really a loophole at all, because God is not a God of, “JUST MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ALL MY RULES IF YOU WANT ME TO ACCEPT YOU!!!” But rather, “I gave you these rules because I know literally EVERYTHING, because I designed EVERYTHING & I know perfectly the best design for how EVERYTHING works best. AND I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER COMPREHEND.”

In other words, did my loophole hurt God’s heart? Yes. Was it a sin against Him? Yes.

It hurts Him because He gave the command FOR MY GOOD & when I don’t trust Him & obey it, I will always end up getting hurt AND hurting others, & He knows it!

How “Innocent” Lust Hurt Me

So, that “loophole” I had roped myself into of not sleeping around & not lusting after actual people… that “loophole” I thought would protect me… DIDN’T. I still got hurt.

It taught & gave me unhealthy standards of love.

It made me think sex was all about the physical & not SO MUCH MORE.

It made me think it was a means to an end, versus an intimacy-growing experience with my husband.

It made me insecure, like maybe my own husband just saw me as a means to an end, versus a wife he cherished & adored.

It made me unable to relax because it wasn’t fake AKA perfectly catered directly to everything I wanted in every way & at every moment.

It left me dissatisfied & disappointed when I had the real thing available with my husband.

It left me addicted. I realized later that because of that 25+ year addiction, I really did struggle not viewing my husband as a means to an end in that area of our marriage, versus the one I truly cherish & adore.

It was a thorn in our marriage that lasted for a big chunk of it so far & I didn’t even realize it was the cause!

God Knew. God Forgave. God Healed.

And God knew all that. He knew the effects of some sin was so subtle that I may not even notice how it was hurting me, but that it WOULD hurt me. So He, in His all-knowing wisdom, TOLD ME (us) NOT TO DO IT.

I wrongly thought it was innocent.

I thought my thoughts were just my thoughts & therefore harmless.

I thought I was alone with my thoughts & that they couldn’t hurt anyone else.

But God knew they were hurting me & as extension, hurting my husband, even if I couldn’t see that they were.

Don’t Turn a Blind Eye to Sin

God had told me “NO.” And I did it anyway because I thought I had found a loophole.

Ladies, the “loophole” is not worth it.

The romance novels… the pornography… the erotica… the fantasies you make up in your own mind… even if they’re not real people… whatever it is you go to… it’s NOT worth it.

It may be easy to justify that “but it’s not sex,” but God doesn’t just warn us about & tell us not to indulge in sex outside of marriage, but also SEXUAL IMMORALITY.

God Can Help You Find Victory to Break the Chains & to HEAL

God also tells us He can help us escape temptation if we are willing to submit & turn to Him for help rather than clinging to our sin & pushing His help aside.

His way is best. Always. 100%.

It’s not about Him trying to be right. He just IS right.

He is not puffed up & trying to show you He’s a know-it-all. He just IS. He literally DOES know it ALL.

So, when He says His THOU SHALT NOTs in the Bible, it’s REALLY Him saying, “I designed & created this world. I know your weaknesses & your vulnerabilities. I know what will hurt you or benefit you. I know EVERYTHING because I existed before time itself. And knowing everything, I sent My Word to be written by men, but inspired by Me, so that YOU would ALSO know how to rest in my loving guidance in all things. All you have to do is trust Me… & obey.”

Why do we fight it? Why do I fight it?

He is always right.

He always knows & He always knows best.

My Prayer Over LUST

“Lord, thank You for revealing this sin in my heart through these past couple of years. Thank You for shining light on it & exposing my actions for what they are: SIN. Please forgive me. Forgive me for excusing it away & justifying it through my “good intentions” & desire to display “good moral behavior.” I didn’t want to listen to You starting back all those years ago as a pre-teen. I was selfish. I was arrogant to think You didn’t know my heart’s true condition. You knew I was just searching for a way to look like a good person while still getting away with whatever I wanted. And now I am wounded & have needed Your healing power & wisdom to heal the wounds on my marriage from this cancer growing within it. Thank You for all of the progress You have made happen as I walk with You through it these last couple of years. Thank You for the healing You have given me in this area undoing the damage I inflicted on myself by choosing my way versus Yours for so many years. Help me keep fighting with Your strength. Break those chains. Thank You for the victory You have been giving me in this area over the last year, as You’ve been exposing my sin to me & helping me weed it out of my life. I know I still fail at times, but I see You working in me to build a defense against it the more & more I lean into You through it. Thank You that You care about my marriage & the intimacy that is unique within a marriage. You are a beautiful Master Designer. Help me cling to that masterpiece of a design & to reject anything else that threatens it. Your way or bust. Thank You for helping me & for being so loving & patient with me every step of the way. I love You, always, because You first loved me. AMEN.”

Shine HOPE by kicking the excuses out, (kung fu style), & by clinging to God’s design instead, receiving His help & healing every step of the way!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Crystal Spring Earrings (from India)

Made from genuine sterling silver & chalcedony stone, these 1″ drop earrings are an easy addition to elevate your outfit.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

A Faith Displayed by Action

I have heard a lot of different sermons about the verse in James 2,”Faith without works is dead.”

I understand that if we claim to really trust God, we have to be willing to do what He says, trusting that He always knows best.

I also understand that if we’re NOT willing to do what He says, it speaks very little of any faith we might have or claim to have in Him.

Faith Without Obedience Is a Dead End

But it never actually clicked for me that this simple phrase of, “faith without works is dead,” also denotes this idea I have been wrestling with so much lately, that if I have faith enough to ASK God for help overcoming something, it does absolutely nothing for me if I am not also willing to OBEY & follow through with the solution He provides.

With my FAITH, I need to also be willing to OBEY & faith WITHOUT obedience is a dead end.

I can believe in my heart that God is my only true source of hope for healing, wisdom, & power to help in any given situation, but UNLESS I ACT on that faith, it does me absolutely NO good.

That has been my story.

My Story

I have learned, “Wow, okay… God really DOES know everything & has the power to overcome ANYTHING. HE is the source of hope I have been searching for in this!”… to, “So, I need to learn to pray about EVERYTHING! JUST like He tells us to do!” … to, “God PLEASE help me in this!” … to hearing His gentle nudge, an offering to provide me the wisdom or solution I seek, but I hold up my hand & say, “NOPE!”

WHY?!

Why do I resist Him? And why does it seem insurmountable NOT to resist Him?

My Own Roadblock

I am allowing myself to keep on my chains because those chains are all I have known & I crave them like an idol in my life… & removing them means leaving my comfort zone… even if that comfort zone has been hurting me for so long.

(It sort of reminds me of the Israelites, spoken about in Exodus, complaining as they wandered in the desert, wishing they could go back to being SLAVES in Egypt, versus now-FREE men who COULD ask God for help in ANYTHING, but just spent their days merely complaining instead.)

And it’s like in Proverbs 26:11, where it says, “as a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly”…

I am that dog always returning to my vomit.

I stay trapped because I refuse to OBEY in my faith in God.

Hear me on this, I AM MY OWN ROADBLOCK.

Climbing Uphill Through Molasses

And yet, it feels like I’m climbing uphill through molasses when I try to change.

And that’s where surrender comes in… I need to SURRENDER my chains to His help.

• Whether it’s addictions to eating out or eating convenience…
• Whether it’s skipping exercise because going from stop to go feels so hard…
• Whether it’s filling in every bit of free time versus sitting in stillness with God…
• Whether it’s fantasizing for a quick fix versus growing in intimacy with my husband, the way God intended it…
•  Whether it’s skipping caring for my home because my tv or phone is more entertaining & easier…
• Whether it’s missing out on a FULLER LIFE because of all of these chains versus TRUSTING GOD TO HELP ME OVERCOME THEM.

I have so many chains around my neck, dragging me down & keeping me STUCK.

I Know I Need Him… Now I Just Need to Let Go & Take His Hand…

I have learned to pray about my chains… I have learned that just like the disciples in the boat, as told about in Matthew 8, with the waves crashing around them, fear over-taking them, & Jesus reminding them that He was still in control & a reminder to trust Him… I have learned I NEED to go to Him.

But I also have learned that I NEED to be willing to SURRENDER to His help instead of clinging so tightly to those chains that keep hurting me when He offers His help.

I need to OBEY His call on my heart to leave those chains behind, to take His hand, & to step away from them with His help.

Surrendering to God Is Not Defeat… It’s VICTORY!

I need to SURRENDER.

Surrender seems a word associated with defeat, but with God, surrender leads to the VICTORY we cry out for so desperately… because we aren’t surrendering to a malevolent invader, but to a benevolent & Almighty KING Who counts us as one of His dearest children… exchanging our chains for His riches & goodness.

SURRENDER is VICTORY.

Crying Out to God for a Heart Change–My Chains in Exchange for True Satisfaction in Him

“Lord, I feel trapped. I can try to blame addiction, but I am the real obstacle. My flesh is weak. I want those things I am chained by. I know they hurt me, but I long for them because they’re easy. But they never satisfy me long. And then I search for them again. Like the woman at the well, in John 4, whom You told that anyone who drinks from You will never thirst again… YOU are the ONLY thing that can truly satisfy me. Everything else is empty & fleeting & comes with hidden thorns. Help me trust You enough to not just call out to You for help, but to CLING to You & SURRENDER to Your help. Even if I have to slump to the floor in defeat to keep myself from running to the chains I always cling to & BEG You to keep me from going back to them, HELP ME PLEASE. I don’t want to live in these chains forever. You are the true Overcomer. Help me cling to You & be willing to leave everything else behind. Help me. AMEN.”

Shine Hope by SURRENDERING to His help in breaking your chains.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Anika Earrings

These silver-plated hammered Anika Earrings are made in India where they get their name from an ancient Sanskrit word meaning “grace & favor”. Add some fun to your wardrobe with these lightweight statement earrings!

Artisan Information:

Women in India still face widespread discrimination that often leads to poverty & exploitation. Your purchase provides opportunities for women to earn sustainable income through creative expression as fair-trade Artisans.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Let’s Follow Up

So, how are you doing with being still with God?

I know we talked about this in last week’s blog post, but it’s something I feel so terrible at that maybe if I keep talking about it & keep reminding myself I need it… maybe, just maybe, I will stop being so stubborn & just bow my heart to His goodness. And stick with me, because there’s a little more to it.

Why Would I Resist It?

When I stop & think about it, it really does seem pretty silly (coughfoolishcough) of me to even struggle in this area.

But let me be clear, this is not just a struggle to shut down the quiet, it is an addiction to wash out the quiet… It is me not being willing to slump before God & ask for His help because it feels so much easier & immediately gratifying to numb over it.

It’s sin.

I hate to call you out on that if you struggle with it, too, but that’s just the plain truth of it. I don’t like to or want to admit it, but in reality, it is me refusing to give up that ease & comfort of instant gratification for the better that God has in store for me if I surrender to that stillness with God.

What Stillness with God Can Do

God meant & designed stillness with Him to be for our good. It will refresh. It will renew. It will bring healing. It will help us feel closeness with God. It will help us recognize His deep & unconditional love for us. It will boost our confidence (in HIM). It WILL.

But instant gratification is what I have grown up expecting & turning to. Bored? TV. Restless? Phone. Quiet house? Video games. I want to feel good NOW.

And NOT covering up that restlessness & NOT filling every void immediately, is NOT instantly gratifying. In fact, it feels like extra WORK.

I Want to Indulge! I Don’t Want to Listen to God!

And this isn’t the only area of my life where I do this… FOOD is another area I struggle with because I don’t WANT to stop & give up my cravings by asking God to help me with them. I WANT to INDULGE!

And when I was journaling the hindrances to me taking better care of the body God has given me, after writing out a whole list, I came to the realization that the overlying reason I am not improving like I could is because I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP MY INSTANT GRATIFICATION OF CRAVINGS!

In other words, I KNOW God CAN & WOULD help me… BUT when I am given the opportunity to ask for His help in either being still or making food choices that will more greatly benefit me in the long run… I CHOOSE to ignore His gentle nudges & I FILL my “need” for INSTANT gratification.

It’s sin.

I am CHOOSING to ignore Him because I want what I want instead.

My Selfish Greed, Disguised

This was quite the blow to my lingering, ignored, & relentlessly justified self-righteous view of myself in that, “Oh, but I DO want to change! I DO!” While, when given every opportunity to change WITH GOD’S HELP, I might add… I brush away that little loving nudge (God’s offer to help) & I do whatever I want anyway.

Ouch.

Big ouch.

And now I must face this fact about myself… this selfish, self-centered, stubborn fact about myself… this SIN.

My selfish greed, disguised as good intentions that I never actually act on when given the opportunity & help from God.

Confession to God & Asking for HELP Overcoming My Selfish Heart

“God, You knew this all along about me. I kept “crying out to You to help me” learn to be still… to help me learn how to just be still & KNOW You are God & spend time with You… to help me make better health choices… all the while, whenever You offered Your capable & loving help, I shrugged You off & did what I really wanted instead. God, as Paul said in his letter in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” It’s frustrating how simply & easily I am tricked into dismissing You for what hurts me instead. How easily fooled I am by my own selfishness & greed. Please forgive me. Help me give this up, even if You have to pry it from my fingers. HELP ME! I am so selfish that, in the moment, when caught off guard, I know I will immediately grab for quick, easy, immediate gratification. I don’t want to live like that forever. Help me! Break me so You can build me up the way I was designed by You to be, without my sin destroying it. Help me overcome this hurdle of selfish greed. Help me humble myself at Your feet & be willing to loosen my grip so I can give it to You & depend on You instead. You are so much better & so much more satisfying than immediate gratification. Your way is meant for my good. Help me, please. AMEN.”

Reflection:

If you’re honest with yourself, do you have an area in your life where you do this, too?

Do yourself a HUMUNGOUS favor & be willing to pray that prayer from Psalm 139, ”Lord, search me & know me… See if there be any wicked way in me.” Not because HE doesn’t already know those areas (because, trust me, He does), but because sometimes WE are completely blind to our own faults & the strongholds that keep us imprisoned.

Shine Hope by shining light on those areas you maybe refuse to give up to God, by asking for His help in doing so… & then in asking for His help with VICTORY over them, like only He can do. <3

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Inverted Capiz Earrings

These earrings feature shimmery, creamy white capiz shells, each framed by a black edge.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

I Believed a Lie

Why did it take me most of my life to read my Bible consistently, although I trusted in Jesus when I was still a child?

Aside from being naïve to the fact that I could ask for & receive help from God when I didn’t feel like reading (whether from stubborn rebellion, sickness, bad attitude, distractions, lack of time, not wanting to “be told what to do,” etc.) was this subtle lie that has misguided me on countless occasions… All or NOTHING.

I Didn’t Know I Was Believing a Lie

It wasn’t until recently, in the last few years, that I began to even recognize this as a lie or that it was even something I actually believed without being aware of it, which is why it is so important to pray often the much-quoted biblical prayer, “Lord, search me & know me. See if there be any wicked way in me,” (Psalm 139:23-24) because sometimes we’re so fooled that we don’t even realize we’re living based on a lie.

I certainly was…. It made sense to me.

What Is the Lie?

So, what do I mean by it? What is the “All or Nothing” lie?

Quite simply what it sounds like…. Satan convincing us or us convincing ourselves that if we can’t do it all… then we can or should do nothing.

The “All or Nothing” Lie

Do any of these sound familiar to you? They’re all things I have reasoned in my own mind many more times than I care to admit.

“I don’t have time to read 3-4 chapters a night to accomplish reading the Bible in a year. It’s just too much to commit to. It overwhelms me… so I am going to stop reading.”

“I don’t have the time nor the focus to sit still & pray for 30 minutes to an hour. It’s just too much for my attention span to handle! So I won’t take time to pray.”

“I can’t complete all of these lessons for the ladies’ Bible study because I have been busy… so I’ll just not go to the study group at all this week.”

“I can’t possibly solve the world poverty problem & every time I buy something that supports artisans working to be empowered out of poverty, it reminds me of the much greater need & it stresses me out… so I am going to stop buying that stuff.”

“I overeat sometimes, binging on junk food, so I am just going to quit trying to taking care of the body God has designed for & given to me because my failures discourage me too much.”

I Didn’t See It for What It Was

Do you see the pattern in those statements… that if I can’t do it to my expectations, I should just not do it?

Well, for so SO long, I DIDN’T see that pattern at all & I still struggle to recognize it for what it is sometimes.

These reasonings made sense to me. I couldn’t live up to the expectations others put before me (or the ones I placed upon myself after seeing that particular honorable habit modeled in someone else’s life) so I would just not do it at all anymore.

And so often, that’s exactly how Satan operates. Satan likes to convince us that because we can’t do it BIG, we shouldn’t do it at all.

But instead, what if we FIRST asked for God’s help for a starting point & also help in sticking with it… & just start SOMEWHERE with SOMETHING, even if it’s small!

Flipping the Script… Turn it to “All or SOMETHING”

When discouraged that you can’t keep up, try saying instead:

“I don’t feel like I have time or focus or energy to read that much of the Bible at a time, just starting out or for the season of life I am in… but I know that any that I CAN read will benefit me AND honor God, so I will read just a little every day & ask for God’s help in sticking with even that.”

“I don’t feel I can commit that much uninterrupted time praying, but I know that God hears me whether using the restroom, showering, laying in bed, driving, etc. So, I will ask God to remind me consistently to come to Him first in all things big & small for help, leaning into Him through all the highs & lows of life & coming to Him for all requests & praises when it crosses my mind. Any prayer will benefit me & honor God, so I will make a point to at least PRAY in the small moments I get.”

“I don’t feel I can complete my lessons this week for Bible Study, but I will ask God for timing & focus & motivation to do at least what I can of it & if I still fall flat, I will show up anyway knowing that the fellowship will lift me up & the conversation will remind me to come to Him in anything.”

“I can’t solve world poverty/starvation problems, but I can help as God presents me with opportunity. Even a small help is a big help to the person it benefits. So, I will ask God to help me see what my part is & be ready to follow His lead in that part & leave the rest in His hands, praying for those who still suffer.”

“I struggle taking care of my body consistently because of gluttony, versus seeking that fulfillment & satisfaction from God. So, I will ask God for forgiveness & that He help me keep doing little GOOD things for my body even when I fail sometimes.”

Where Have You Believed the Lie of “All or Nothing”?

What examples can you add to those above? Where are you believing the lie that because you can’t do it the way you feel you “should,” that you should just not do it at all?

Where do you need to just START, even if just a little at a time… & where do you need to ask God for help in doing even that small thing?

Shine hope. Start small & let God help you grow as you go.

SUGGESTED RESOURCE:

Something that helped wake me up to this “All or Nothing” lie is the itty bitty book, “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. This short book shows the perspective of demons conversing with one another, deliberating how they might deceive the person they seek to destroy. It was eye-opening & helped teach me to pray for discernment far more often than I was beforehand. Check it out on Amazon, here, or Thriftbooks.com, here.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Anika Earrings

These silver-plated hammered Anika Earrings are made in India where they get their name from an ancient Sanskrit word meaning “grace & favor”. Add some fun to your wardrobe with these lightweight statement earrings!

Artisan Information:

Women in India still face widespread discrimination that often leads to poverty & exploitation. Your purchase provides opportunities for women to earn sustainable income through creative expression as fair-trade Artisans.

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Favorite Ornament

My favorite ornament on our tree every year is a cross. We are always careful to place it near the top, at eye level, front & center….

The Ending That Stuck with Me

Over a decade ago, my family (parents & siblings) went to see the Christmas Nativity Sight & Sound production in Pennsylvania. (If you have not had the enormous pleasure of seeing one of their shows, put it on your bucket list for sure! Live animals, wrap-around stage, & wonderful re-enactments of the true stories of Scripture. Both Inspiring & Beautiful.)

Not only was the entirety of that Christmas Nativity performance moving & spectacular, the ending is what stuck with me all these many years later.

As the performance came to a close, the lights dimmed… & shown in the backdrop, illuminated, was a CROSS.

I will never forget it.

Reflections This Christmas

In the production’s retelling of Jesus’ birth: the virgin Mary, visited by the angel & told of the child she would carry, placed in her by God Almighty… her fiancé Joseph who honorably chose to put Mary away quietly rather than have her stoned for “infidelity” & who was then also visited by an angel of God & told that the child Mary carried was the Son of the Most High God & would someday save the world from their sins… the traveling to fulfill the king’s command… the inn where there was no room… the stable-like cave they were placed in as Mary gave birth to our Savior… the angels who sang & announced to the lowly shepherds the arrival of God-come-as-man for all mankind… the wise men who travelled far, offering gifts of honor….

And for them to end the whole re-telling of the first Christmas with an illuminated cross as the backdrop sent me sobbing to myself in my seat.

Christmas Grace, Christmas Mercy, Christmas LOVE

This precious, sweet infant Jesus… God in flesh… He came willingly to earth so He could love us in person & display His truth & mercy & grace & LOVE… knowing He ALSO came to die… for us

And this was God’s plan all along.

… Not just since the first Christmas, but since BEFORE TIME. God ALWAYS knew that Jesus would come as man & live as Emmanuel “God with us” to eventually die in our place to make us right with God.

What mercy! What grace! What wonderful LOVE!

The Struggle Is REAL

There are so many things struggling for our attention during this season:  Christmas cards (our close friends & family are getting ‘New Year cards’ this year, haha), cookie-baking, caroling, shopping, wrapping, decorating, cooking, cleaning, planning, parties, church services, driving to see the lights, & all the hustle & bustle of the holidays.

But one must take the time to quiet their heart & remember…

The Most Wonderful Gift Can’t be Bought

Remember the beautiful gift of Jesus Who willingly came to pay for our sins on the cross.

He was God-with-us. He was the most impactful, life-changing, life-sacrificing, LOVING gift we will ever receive on any Christmas for all time. He topped the charts… ALL the charts.

So, take a moment right now to close your eyes & take a few deep, slow breaths… quiet your heart & mind from all the crazy going on around you… & thank Him. Let your heart feel the blessing that is JESUS.

My Christmas Prayer

“Lord, we don’t deserve You. I mean, we are sometimes SO BUSY that it’s hard to even remember that You’re still with us. Thank You for coming… for giving us a JOYFUL & beautiful reason to celebrate this season. You are such a loving gift to us. We can get so wrapped up in everything this season has become & miss the most beautiful, life-changing part. Help our hearts to take some time to reflect on You & to express our gratitude & to somehow point to You & give You the glory You so rightly deserve during this holiday season. THANK YOU. Thank You that Your immense love for us demanded that You rescue us. You couldn’t bear to leave us to ourselves because Your love for us is so complete & all-consuming. You ARE love. Thank You that despite how often we disregard or disrespect You, whether stubbornly intentional or naively unaware… You still love us so fiercely & Your love for us cannot be drowned out by anything. How deep, how wide, & how GREAT Your love for us is. Thank You for this Christmas & all it means to me & to all of us. THANK YOU. Amen.”

Merry Christmas!

These are my reflections this Christmas as I seek to remember the reason we all have to celebrate Christmas this year & every year to come! Amen!

Merry Christmas Beautiful! I pray that you realize just how much He loves you & is always with you, no matter what. He loves you so much!

Shine HOPE this Christmas by pointing to Him as your hope & joy this holiday. <3

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs (India)

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. (Flash-plated posts.)

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Hesitant Beginnings

When I started my blog over 2 years ago, ONE of my biggest concerns (shared by my husband) was that I would never be able to stay consistently committed to it.

To be quite honest, I am the type of person who gets really excited about a new project, gets invested in said project, but when the excitement wanes, the project begins collecting dust (usually all within the same month).

I am pretty responsible when given tasks to complete, unless those tasks are assigned by myself, because I don’t seem to mind disappointing myself & it ends up becoming a problem with my productivity sometimes… (& my husband, although gracious with me, knows it, too).

Meal planning & house-cleaning get pushed back far too often, leaving a then overwhelming obstacle that I just want to avoid altogether. It’s a bit of a problem & I have been working to ask God to help me in that area.

So, when God put this website & blog on my heart, knowing I would need to commit weekly, whether I felt inspired, motivated, in a sharing mood, or NOT… I was not so sure.

Warts & All

I prayed about this concern, asking God to help me know whether to pay for & start the training I needed to create my website, knowing all too well my infamous tendency to quit when the going got tough. I was afraid I couldn’t keep up with it… knowing that if I was grumpy or busy or feeling so incredibly lazy one week, I would need to still show up, warts & all.

I wondered how I could write a blog, run a website, & host a community on social media, knowing I was so fickle… wondering how I could possibly stay consistent AND authentic while doing it.

It seemed an impossible combination, seeing my personal track record.

Not About MY Glory, But HIS

But in my asking God about it, seeking His wisdom & guidance, He reminded me of one very beautiful fact: this blog was not to be about my glory, but HIS.

In other words, seeing as I am JUST HUMAN, there would undoubtedly be weeks I didn’t want to care or didn’t want to scrap together an ounce of effort & where I just wanted to drop it all for some tv binging sessions… but that I could show up & be real about it ALL… because it’s NOT about ME being great, but about HIM being GREAT.

Let’s Get Real

He encouraged me that I could show up for my weekly videos or blogs like a complete hot mess, not having gotten any sleep, grumpy & grouchy, wishing I could avoid any & all responsibility, NOT caring about anyone but myself because I am feeling selfish & lazy… & say, “Listen ladies, I didn’t want to be here today. I wanted to tell God off & say, ‘I don’t wanna!’ like a whiny toddler throwing a hissy fit. I don’t feel like I have myself together AT ALL today & I honestly feel like I would rather just quit. But, GOD. In all of my mess, in all of my unwilling, stubborn bad attitude, I knew deep down that God’s got me, even when I don’t. So, I asked Him to help me show up for Him & help me point to Him. Because, ladies, it’s not about you or I having ourselves together, it’s about Him having full control, even when we feel out of control. We can trust Him EVEN when we fail completely.”

Even when.

Only He Has It All Together

I don’t have to pretend to have it all together, because I don’t. I am afraid of vulnerability & have to ask God for courage. I am lazy & prefer doing the bare minimum & have to ask God for the extra push of strength & motivation to trust Him more. I have insecurities where I need to ask God to help me trust Him for my confidence.

And there began my confidence to begin my blog, even in all of my known personal weaknesses, knowing that even if I want to quit or fail embarrassingly, I can always turn to Him to help me & to be my strength & my role is to JUST SHOW UP.

Up to Him

Because it’s not about me coming to you, the epitome of what a Christian woman “should” look like. It’s about me coming to you as a FELLOW weak, prone to wander, limited human being, warts & all & pointing to our Almighty, Always Faithful, INFINITE, Limitless, PERFECT God who loves us all so, so much.

Prayer… talking to God… is about admitting you NEED Him… In everything big & small.

It’s okay to need Him. It’s okay to SHOW you need Him because we were ALL MADE TO NEED Him.

Don’t Bow Out, Just Show Up

So, the next time you are tempted to bow out because you just CAN’T… & next time you want to turn down a project God has put on your heart because you don’t think you can live up to it… understand that it’s okay to put yourself out there for a project you feel you can’t do… because He will help you as you lean into Him in trying to follow His lead through life.

Shine HOPE by being transparent, by allowing your human weakness to show, by JUST SHOWING UP, & by remembering that it’s about God’s glory, not yours.

He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace from Kenya!

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Approx. Measurements: Adjustable 28 1/2″ – 39″
Materials: Brass, Ethically collected bone, Cotton cording
Color: Gold and ivory

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. We appreciate your continued support!

Trying to Find My Place

Have you ever felt like you don’t measure up to anyone else’s expectations?

Do you ever feel like the oddball? Or is it just me…?

Maybe you feel too loud… or too quiet.

Maybe your interests don’t seem to line up with anyone else’s & you feel like you don’t quite “fit in” anywhere?

Maybe you never were that good at sports or maybe you lack a green thumb or maybe your craft DIY projects look more like a 3-year old who got into the craft supplies.

Maybe everyone else seems to mingle with ease, while you stuff your face with whatever food they have to offer, sitting as far away from the awkward social interactions as possible. (*coughdonethatcough*)

Have you ever felt like the “ugly duckling” of the group? Like you don’t fit in & don’t measure up & just don’t belong anywhere?

I have. Oh, I have.

I grew up feeling super shy. I know, some of you may not believe that, but boy is it true!

I was so desperate to fit in & “belong.”

“Do You Like Me? Check Yes or No.”

I remember being in 4^th grade & I felt so ashamed that I didn’t have a crush on anyone because that seemed to be the talk of every girl on the playground, so I picked a guy at random whom I thought was cute & would “gush” about him so I would feel part of the normal girl crowd.

Lame, I know.

Don’t worry… On the last day of school, since I no longer would have a playground circle of girls discussing their current crushes… I wrote him a note that said I decided I didn’t like him anymore.

OUCH, I know… but honestly, I think he was probably quite relieved because boy were my “love” notes LAME. “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” He ALWAYS checked NO… or more like circled it several times, highlighted it, & drew several arrows toward it. (Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but sadly too close to reality, haha.)

My Super Power Is Being Socially Awkward

Maybe you’re thinking, “Well Michelle, that was 4th grade. EVERYONE was awkward at that age.” Well, I wish I could say it stopped back then.

It’s ridiculous the things we can do to be liked, isn’t it? And trust me, the examples of mine did NOT end in 4^th grade, although I REALLY wish I could honestly say that they did.

A majority of my most embarrassing moments, which I can usually laugh about now, were due to me just trying too dang hard to be liked by everyone else.

“Please Like Me!!”

Even my dating years consisted of me trying tirelessly to be the “perfect” girlfriend while trying to NEVER assert my own opinions or feelings, afraid to be considered too much of a burden.

I kept my real self locked away & I tried to be everything they could ever want: flirty, fun, supportive, good listener, funny, laughing at their jokes, agreeing with everything, trying to match my interests to theirs, wanting so badly to just be accepted & wanted, not realizing I wasn’t even giving them a fair chance to do so, locking the real me away.

The silly things we do to be loved. And wanted.

Trying Too Hard

I used to hear things about God’s love for me & never really got it. I would hear that my “identity is in Him & not in me trying to be enough.” I didn’t know what that meant either.

A majority of my life can be summed up by me trying to be what I thought everyone wanted or expected from me… always feeling like I never quite got it right.

Basically, the phrase “trying too hard” was an accurate summary of my life.

It makes people uncomfortable when they can tell you’re trying too hard. And yet, I didn’t feel I was good enough on my own & was always over-compensating.

The Things We Do to be Liked

Maybe you read this & think, “Michelle, you are exaggerating… I have NEVER felt this way about you!” Well, thanks for lying… haha… but really, some of you may be thinking, “Oh yeah, I definitely have gotten that vibe from you. This explains so much.”

But, while I still struggle with insecurity & feeling like I fit in sometimes, I have grown SO MUCH in this area because of one beautiful & simple thing… I started understanding those 2 things I mentioned about God & how that impacts where I “FIT.”

Where We Stand with God

I think a lot of us who grow up in church take for granted “churchy” phrases they may have heard their whole lives, while never really grasping their significance or even their meaning, while those who don’t know Jesus just have no clue, period.

So, let’s take some time to hopefully remind us all, including awkward, lovely me, where we stand with God… to hopefully help us overcome this strong, pulling desire to be liked, wanted, & to fit in with those around us.

How Do We KNOW God Loves Us?

Let’s start at the beginning… the before-the-world-even-BEGAN, beginning. Our Alpha & Omega God.

God knew He was going to make you even then. He knew all the ways you would fail, in the small & big things. He knew. And yet, not only did His plan to make you remain, but He also made sure there would be a plan in place, through Jesus coming to die on our behalf & rise again victorious, to make you right before God again & restore that relationship FOR you. Our Creator, Redeemer God.

Then He made Earth, full of beauty & all you would need to survive, sustaining you & helping you to live a life of JOY. Beautiful sights to behold: sunsets, waterfalls, flowers, animals, stars, oceans, mountains, fish, birds… Smells that delight the senses… Textures that comfort, relax, refresh, invigorate… Sounds that soothe, uplift, encourage, comfort, surprise… Tastes that make you mmmmmmmm. He made all that possible for you to enjoy. Yes, it is broken by sin, but there is still SO MUCH beauty to enjoy. Our Wise, Creative & Lavishing-of-Love God.

How Do We Determine Our TRUE Identity?

Then He made YOU, individual, unique, crafted by hand, knit together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-16), designed by GOD. He made not only humanity, but YOU… specifically YOU. Your identity is wrapped up in the fact that He made you with a design & a purpose that He worked out for you ahead of time & that you will discover more as you lean into His guidance & lead… Our Creator & Father God.

AND, He sent Jesus to die on your behalf, before you were even born, so that when you realized your need for Him, He would be ready with open arms to welcome you home… Jesus having paid the price of your rebellion & mistakes & all you have to do is ACCEPT that gift to you. Your identity is wrapped up in His grace for you, paying your debt & making you whole once more. Our Redeemer, Rescuer God.

With You Every Step of Life

AND, He had the Bible written for you. His Word. To us. Instructions, advice, & a story laced throughout with love & redemption for a people prone to wander. A people like you & me. His grace is His message (John 11:25). We can TRUST His Word & OBEY it because it was ALL meant to show us what is the BEST of life. A life lived with trusting love for our All-Knowing, All-Wise, LOVING God.

AND, He doesn’t stop there. He HELPS you with that plan He has just for you… your unique story, written by God. He offers His GRACE. He offers His wisdom & strength & hope & peace & love & joy & guidance & He makes a way. He is MASTER of the IMPOSSIBLE. He turns ashes to beauty (Isaiah 61:3) & He works ALL THINGS together for the GOOD of those who love Him & are trusting His way (Romans 8:28). Our Author, Sustainer, Helping God.

The Grand Splendor Awaits!

And when you die, if you have but accepted God’s fully paid for grace, through Jesus’ sacrifice on your behalf, you are welcomed with OPEN ARMS into a place called Heaven, where there is no more death, no more tears, & no more sadness or grief (Revelation 21:4). A place full of wonder & awe, praising this all-powerful God who loves us so incredibly much. Our King of kings, Lord of lords GOD.

And that is why you can accept His love for you & trust that He’s got you. Because it’s not based at all on whether you are good enough, but that HE IS.

Far Beyond Understanding, But Fulfilling Beyond Words

He LOVES you beyond anything we can ever understanding & so far outside anything another person could try to mimic. He sees you completely, past & present, hidden & revealed, pride & shame, EVERYTHING… & He says, “I love you. Come to me.”

How much FREEDOM this gives us! Hallelujah!

I don’t have to be what I think others want of me… I just have to be who God MADE me to be… & if I don’t know what that is because my whole perception of myself is built up around what others have expected or told me… trauma & fears… & all my mistakes… I (& you) can go to Him & ASK HIM.

Asking God How HE Made Me

“God, I don’t know how you made me, to be honest. This person says I need to be like this & culture says I need to be like that. Friends all do this & society seems to believe this… I don’t know what’s true about me anymore. I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM. God, please show me. If You MADE me, then ONLY YOU would really know who I am & who I am meant to be. Help me sift through the lies. Help me to see the truth… Your design. Help me know how to trust You. Help me see the me You made me to be. I am tired of always trying to live up to everything. It’s exhausting & confusing & feels so fake. Help me know the truth. Set me free from expectations. Help me have the confidence to stand on who YOU say I am & not need anyone or anything else to define me or give me my worth. Help me, please, Father, Creator, Loving GOD. Help me. I love you. AMEN.”

I prayed that more times than I can count growing up. I got so tired of the game to fit in. I didn’t know who I was. I was lost & tired of holding up the façade I thought others expected from me.

I URGE YOU… pray similarly. If you have resonated with a single thing I’ve said today… pray that prayer.

His Word & Design Trump ALL ELSE

Let HIM shape you. Let HIS design define you. Let HIS love for you, a love that could never be used up or exhausted, let it FILL YOU.

You don’t need to impress me because the God who made you is so overwhelmed with love for you that He made you, knowing you’d leave Him, set a plan in place to redeem you, & has a story written singularly just for you, WITH HIS HELP as you lean into Him, all wrapped in His love, strength, hope, joy, grace, wisdom, understanding, & power.

He’s got you, babe. Oh, how He’s got you!

Stand in Confidence!

Let Him love you & then shine His grace to this hurting, bleeding world. It’s THE most valuable use of life to shout the praises of the One who made the world, saved the world, & loves it in His infinite grace, welcoming us all to come & accept His beautiful design & to dismiss the rest of that mess in which we tend to cling to so tightly.

He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bombolulu Earrings from Kenya

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Big Feelings

Have you ever been made to feel like your emotions were a bad thing?

Have you ever felt the need to mask how you were feeling for fear of either burdening someone else, making them uncomfortable, or appearing weak & vulnerable & “lame”?

I have.

I am a girl who feels big. I laugh hard just as much as I cry hard.

The doctor called it a minor mood imbalance. I called it annoying.

Feeling Like Nobody Gets Me

You see, not everyone knows what to do with big emotions. Sometimes you notice them widen their eyes as if to say, “Woooow, okay then,” & other times you see them shifting in their seat, as if they are checking for the closest nearby exit.

And still other times, you will maybe have someone tell you to your face that your emotions stress them out or annoy them. (If this is you, as I have definitely wrestled this, when faced with a person whose emotions stress you out, take a moment to pray & ask God to help you know how to face their emotions in a way that is both loving to that person & also honoring to how God would wish you to respond to that person. God will help you as you lean into Him for help.)

Of course, there are still those people who feel right alongside me & make me feel super comfortable in my skin & if you’re one of those people in my life, I appreciate you so much!

Dancing the Dance

To be honest, this “feeling big” even created fears of long-term commitment, sure that someday my future husband would lose the rosy glasses & wake up to see just how annoying I can be. It was a real fear for me.

I have constantly lived the dance of either masking my highs & lows OR trying to overcompensate for them so I don’t lose my appeal in the eyes of others… which PROBABLY explains why I have the potential for great socially awkward moments—you’re welcome.

These big emotions are probably also why I am prone to depression as well as anxiety attacks, where I just shut down & want to avoid the overwhelming fears that threaten to overtake me completely.

God, Help Me Understand

And lately, after years & years of this dance of masking & overcompensating, I am learning to turn to God in this reality that I have so long considered my biggest weakness.

You see, when I feel big HAPPY emotions, I don’t regret it. I LOVE getting to look at the world with childlike wonder & thrill, soaking in the good moments & really getting to appreciate life in such a full, rich way. What a blessing!

BUT, the opposite, facing such big lows, has felt like the bane of my very existence.

Taking My Hurts to God

Recently, on one of my lows, I began praying & begging God to take away the great hurt in my heart that I couldn’t seem to even understand logically why it would be there.

My prayer was something like this:

“God, why? WHY!? Why do I have to feel so terrible sometimes when I shouldn’t even feel this upset? What is wrong with me? YES, I appreciate the highs & getting to just soak up life with joyful tears, swelling with contentment & peaceful happiness, but these lows are terrible! Why do I have to have them? Why did you make me like this? You must have had a reason. Please help me.”

A Gentle Reminder of a Beautiful Blessing

When I finished my plea & outpouring of my heart to God, I felt a gentle reminder wash over my heart that if I had not experienced those lows in my life, I would never have understood my great need for Him at a young age & I would have missed out on the great peace of learning that I have complete HOPE in Him through every situation in life, big or small.

God reminded me gently, in that quiet moment, that it was because of those lows that I have seen my need to draw close to Him & that I have experienced so much growth in my life as a result.

Wow. What a humbling reminder of a beautiful blessing sprouting from the deep & painful lows in my emotions.

Those Lows Drew Me Closer to Jesus

As you can probably guess, it’s hard having lows that seem to knock me off my feet, but WOW, when I think about ALL of the MANY times that those very lows have drawn me close into the arms of Jesus, allowing me to experience more fully His grace, strength, care, love, & gentle peace… I am left in humbled, grateful awe again of our great & loving God.

You see, my emotions aren’t a CURSE. They’re a GIFT.

Thank You, God

They’re His call to my heart that I need to come back to Him so I can more fully experience His great love & care for me.

They’re His sweet reminder that I am but a human, in need of her loving Creator.

They’re His means of growing my heart in assurance, peace, & strength as my heart learns ever more to lean into Him through all waves of life.

They’re a gift.

Emotions Aren’t Evil… They’re Human

Do I still struggle with vulnerability & thus also struggle trying to mask my emotions, making me socially awkward at times? Yes, yes I do.

Do I still wish for comfort & ease sometimes to replace my big emotions? Yes.

Emotions aren’t evil… they’re human.

Expressing Emotions to God & Remembering God in Them

I am reminded again of the Psalms.

My friend commented on Habakkuk & how rich a book it is, like Psalms but so much shorter & she wondered why more people weren’t talking about enjoying it as much as Psalms.

And it hit me. It’s because Psalms has SO MANY chapters of expressing grief, anxiety, loneliness, anger, fear, etc., with all of its BIG emotions, that I relate to it so well & cherish it so much.

And in them all, the author not only expresses the many emotions to God, but also remembers to praise Him, knowing God is above it all & will always have victory in His great love for us.

Learning to Let Others See Me

Now, when I see someone cry in a movie theater, I envy them & their courage to express the feelings they feel rather than feeling the need to keep them hidden inside & faced alone. I want to learn to have this type of courage of trusting others with my own vulnerability.

I am learning that emotions are okay. And they can be a strength as I turn them over to God & allow them to help me always point to my wonderful HOPE in Jesus.

“God, Thank You for Letting Me Be a Woman Who Feels So BIG”

So, as I grow in this acceptance & peace with my emotions, my prayers have shifted.

“God, thank You for letting me feel so big! For letting me see the world through childlike wonder, soaking up life splendidly. But also, thank You for those lows & how well they draw me into Your loving arms. Help me when my emotions threaten me to allow my heart to be real & vulnerable with others. But also, help me to recognize my own frail humanity in them & to remember how awesome & mighty You are in contrast. Help me to praise You in every storm, pointing others to You constantly as my one & only, true, lasting HOPE. Thank You, Lord for Your intelligent design & for ALWAYS having a plan, even when I can’t see it. Thank You for Your patience, gentleness, love & care. I love You. AMEN.”

Facing Big Emotions

Are you anything like me in this–facing big emotions? Have you always struggled with having them? If so, make an effort to turn to God in them & to recognize your own human frailty in contrast to His infinite power & love.

Ask God to help remind you to turn to Him whenever your emotions get “too big” & allow yourself room to feel those emotions as you lean into Him for support & care.

Shine HOPE. He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Peace That Doesn’t Make Sense

A life entrusted to God is full of so many things that don’t make any sense to the logical brain & yet, when tested, are found to be more true than anything we can logically understand.

One of those such things is PEACE.

A verse I have been clinging to lately is about God’s peace, which transcends human understanding.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7) (Emphasis mine.)

Traveling During COVID

You see, I just returned from a 2-month trip stateside to visit family & friends, being careful to social distance every step of the way… But on our return trip, we were placed on a bus full of people that we were required to use in order to re-enter Japan & return home… a bus full of people who had just travelled.

And when I returned home, I noticed that I wasn’t feeling so well.

And, in a world turned upside down by a global pandemic, no one wants to notice themselves “not feeling so well.“

The Progression

I looked up symptoms of this dear covid-19 & realized I had many of them, but not all.

I wasn’t worried. I figured the temperature shock of returning home mixed with dehydration were the culprits. But underneath it all, I knew there could be another explanation for it… one that many around the world feared.

I shared my list of symptoms with my husband & just like that, with no last kiss, no last hug, & no final goodbyes of in-person closure, I was isolated from my best friend… just in case.

Laying on the couch, aches nagging at my body & chills forcing me to shiver despite my layers of warmth, alone & uncertain as to what lay ahead, my husband & I video chatted & decided to take our concerns to God for help.

Asking God for Help

“God, please help us know what to do. Please give us wisdom & peace. Bring healing, please God. … But God, I know it’s so easy to beg You to have everything go back to normal & to help me be comfortable again, but I know that’s not what I really need. I know I need to learn to trust You so that no matter what may come, I will be firm & steady with You as my Rock. That’s what I want, God. Help me trust You like that. Help me to know You’re enough when everything else is falling. And help give us peace. Please give us peace. Amen.”

You see, it was in that moment when we were lifting up our discomfort & budding fears to God that I realized my hope can’t rest in me being okay again… because that will only last until I am not okay next time. I needed something higher than comfort to rest on… SomeONE higher.

Inexplicable Peace

In that moment of shaking with chills, holding a mild fever, aching all over, tossing & turning in my sleep, unable to hold on to warmth… riddled with several other symptoms… I somehow had PEACE.

I felt held.

I felt like come what may, I would be quite okay.

I felt safe & cared for & loved.

I felt PEACE.

And that peace made no sense… it transcended & surpassed my human understanding, because to me, I thought I should be quite worried & concerned & lonely & sad & missing my husband so badly that I could barely stand it in going through all of this alone….

And yet… I felt PEACE.

Finding Comfort in the Uncomfortable

I wasn’t worried about having COVID or not having COVID. I knew that didn’t matter. Either I died & would be happy & whole & dancing in heaven as a result… or God would hold me through the storm.

I wasn’t worried about being alone because I felt held & loved & cared for in a way that didn’t make sense to me.

My good friend asked me what verse I was clinging to & I told her Philippians 4:7, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus.”

And I told her that when I had moments where I DIDN’T have that peace & the worry or sadness started to creep in & threaten that peace, that it was then I knew that I needed to go back to this verse & say, “God, I need more of Your peace. Help me trust You more than my circumstances or symptoms.”

IN the Uncomfortable… Not Necessarily Overcoming the Uncomfortable

Does this idea of peace in the struggle mean we will never struggle or that all struggle will be taken away when we ask God to do so? Heck no. Just read all the many PSALMS to see David pouring out his angst & sorrow & fears & anger.

There’s a song I heard ages ago that has always stuck with me in hard times, called “Sometimes He Calms the Storm, sung by Scott Krippayne, that touches on the idea that sometimes God calms the storm with a simple whisper of “peace, be still” & that God can settle any storm, but it doesn’t mean He will. But then the lyrics say something so beautiful & true, “Sometimes He calms the storm, & other times He calms His child.”

Emotions Aren’t Evil… They’re Human

Emotions aren’t evil… they’re human. Emotions are just how we process the world around us.

But just like David, we need to remember to take those fears, worries, stresses, anger, loneliness, etc. & ask God to help us through them. Ask for His peace & His victory.

We can always look to God for peace when peace seems impossible.

Not Out of the Woods

Although most of my symptoms have subsided, I realized today that I can’t smell 90% of what I tried to smell in our kitchen, including a ripe onion… & the worry flickered itself again in my heart.

And as I cried softly into my husband’s pillow, letting the worry take bite, I silently asked God to give me courage when I had none & to steady me as I faced uncertainty & to grant me His peace that surpasses my understanding.

My Hope Is in HIM

But then I remembered this post I was in the middle of writing & that with every new worry, every new fear, every new symptom… Even IN the storm… I can ask for God’s peace to carry me through it.

Is it always my first instinct to ask God for help? No. But it is always worth it when I remember to humble myself before my great & loving Almighty God & ask for Him to cover me with His strength in my weakness… to BE my strength when I have none.

Because when I entrust my life to God, there are many things about trusting His way that don’t make any sense to me, like how I can face such uncertainty & discomfort & worry & no cure… & realize that I can find peace… a finding of comfort in the midst of the uncomfortable.

A Peace That Transcends & Surpasses Our Human Understanding, Logic, & Reasoning

That is the beauty of entrusting your life to God… not that everything will turn out just the way you want (because it won’t) & not because nothing will go wrong (because we live in a fallen world & it will), but because when things don’t go your way & when things do go wrong, God is ENOUGH & He is in control & HE ALONE sits on the throne as Eternal, Almighty, Loving, All-Capable, All-Knowing, Infinite, Creator, One-Who-Has-the-Final-Say GOD.

His peace goes beyond ALL of our understanding… beyond all of our logic & reasoning… God’s peace remains.

A Peace That REMAINS

Don’t chase fleeting comforts.

Find sturdy comfort in the uncomfortable.

Find peace that surpasses your understanding… Because you don’t have to understand HOW you can possibly have peace to actually have peace.

You just have to know Who your peace comes from.

Shine HOPE by looking to God for your peace in all circumstances.

He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternal Pearl Set

Delicate freshwater pearls make each of these classic pieces perfect for every occasion.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, adult literacy programs, & self-help groups! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!