Take It Back Now, Ya’ll

So, this week, I am taking a step back to a pivotal moment I forgot to mention.

I appreciate your extension of grace to me over this last month as we had an unplanned trip Stateside (&, since unplanned, I forgot to bring my notebook/list of topics, hence the flip flop).

Quick Recap & Look Ahead

In case you’re new to my blog, over the last couple of months, I have been sharing about major pivotal moments in my life where God helped me do a 180 degree turn from my perspective to His.

I have been covering a bunch of relationship-related topics, so if that interests you, scroll on through the past several posts.

In a couple weeks, I will be continuing where I left off last week, by talking about “Trouble in Paradise”, where I will discuss how marriage is not all sunshine & rainbows (no matter how convinced you are that it will be when you’re in love) … & how God is the bridge Who covers the divide (no matter how convinced you are that your insufficient attempts prove no hope).

Next week’s topic is all about debt & trusting God against the grain.

Skipping Back To College Days

BUT, this week, I am skipping back about a year to share another major God-lesson I learned back in college.

To give you some back story, for perspective, I was pretty good in school & I took pride in that.

I may not have been “hot” or popular, in my opinion, but at least I could do pretty well in school.

I went back to college five years after high school, to finish a degree in Business Marketing at Liberty University. (Go LU!)

Pressure to Impress

Since I felt like being good in school was part of my identity & what gave me value, I felt pressure (& pride) to maintain my grades/educational success to prove my worth to others (& myself).

My Mom & Dad always believed I could do big things, but the pressure to impress was always nagging in the back of my mind.

My Capstone Course

And then came senior year, in 2010… with my capstone course at Liberty University.

I obviously felt like doing well in my capstone course was important, since it was supposed to be a culmination of everything I had learned so far. Plus, the professor held high standards & I wanted to live up to them.

But God had other plans for that class.

Studying Like a BOSS

You see, that course had very few graded assignments. It included maybe 2-3 exams & the final project. In other words, fail one thing & you could do very little to get back to good standing for the course—no pressure, right?

And so, I took studying VERY seriously for the exams in that class, more so than I had in my entire life. (Since school usually came easily to me, I could usually get away with not studying too hard while still maintaining good grades—(don’t hate me).

I SHOULD have been studying well in every class, regardless, but I took advantage of it coming easily to me. <– Good example of what NOT to do.)

When the first capstone course exam came near, I was more prepared than I imagined possible.

I had taken every online practice quiz (multiple times), basically reread every chapter, focused intently on all highlighted sections, reviewed my own notes, & did any other studying I thought might help. I lost MANY hours of sleep working to be fully prepared for this exam.

The Results Are In…

So, I aced it… NOT.

The results came in & I had received a 47%.

47%!!!

I imagine all color drained from my face as I reread my score so many times, trying to blink away the supposed nightmare I was having, only to realize I was fully awake already & that really was my score.

To say I broke down is an understatement.

Luckily, my roommates were in class when I read the results because I was DEVASTATED.

But… I Studied SO HARD…???

I dropped to my knees & cried for a good hour.

I replayed all of my hard work over & over again in my mind, contrasted with the TERRIBLE score I had just received as a reward for all of my hard work… HARDER WORK than I have EVER applied for an exam… EVER!

And a 47%.

“Who Are You Doing This For?”

I was crushed… & when the tears & questions started to numb, I began to pray & ask God what happened.

The answer came as a small whisper, like a gentle breeze across my mind, “Who are you doing this all for? Yourself? Your teachers? Your parents? Or Me?”

Ouch.

There it was… the epicenter of the drive behind all of my efforts.

God had called me out & had opened my eyes to my true motivation.

“Whatever You Do… As Working for the Lord”

I had heard the verses before, talking about, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23-24) But I never really got it.

Like, sure, have integrity, don’t cheat, work hard, blah blah blah. We represent Him, so don’t be a jerk at work. (And yes, all of those things are still true.)

But then, in that moment, it clicked.

It meant more than that.

I Am Not the Boss

It also meant that I don’t get to judge how much work is “enough” based on the value I perceive it to have.

It meant that it wasn’t about getting prestige or recognition or respect (or even about getting a good job).

It meant that it was all about how it made HIM look, for HIS glory, not mine.

It meant I am to live for HIS purposes, not mine.

It meant that ten years down the road, what I perceive all of this to be about right now might be used completely differently than how I anticipated.

Again with “Doing What Seems Right in My Own Eyes”

I tend to think & make decisions based on my own understanding (doing what seems right in my own eyes—hey, remember last week’s topic?), but God sees the big picture & every ripple effect of every action for every moment.

For example, I might think straightforward with my own logic of, “I came to school to get my degree in [this field], to get [this type of job].” While God thinks more like, “I brought you here to meet [this person], have [this impact], learn [this lesson], grow in [this area], & influence [this person].”

God Sees How It All Fits

God sees the WHOLE picture.

God can see beyond the obvious & beyond our intentions.

God sees every piece in play & how every piece will impact every other piece in His greater plan.

So, when we work “as if unto the Lord,” it means more than having integrity. It means putting forth our best efforts, through relying on God’s wisdom, direction, clarity, strength, etc., while keeping in mind that it’s for His grander purposes that we don’t yet see or understand.

Our Responsibility Is to Trust in Him & Try Our Best

We don’t need to be THE best, we just need to show up & do OUR best with what is put in front of us, knowing that we DON’T know how it may be used by God in the future… because we’re working for His plan & purposes, not our own.

Don’t try to anticipate how God will use your efforts & thus cut out what you don’t think will matter.

Just show up, do your best, & do it with a heart of serving God’s purposes & plan… to honor Him & bring Him glory, no matter how those efforts may be used in the future.

Only God knows.

Shine HOPE by doing your best & working as if unto His purposes & plan, trusting Him to help you in the process, when you lean into Him with full weight.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Petal Necklace

This cubic zirconia floral pendant hangs from an antique golden chain and pairs perfectly with the Petal Stud Earrings.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

We Interrupt This Program to Bring You…

Okay, so this isn’t normally how I run my blog, but I feel like it needs to be said now, today.

Today, we deviate from the pivots (those will probably resume next week).

Today, we let God take over for a message that I need reminding of every single day (added during editing… you’ll see why that’s important later).

God’s plans aren’t our plans.

Just Everyday Life

When the Bible says repeatedly, “And the people did what was right in their own eyes,” we often & easily think of it as revelry & outright sin.

But hold up, when you actually look up those references, where that phrase is written (go ahead & do a search online), sometimes it literally means just that, “the people did what was right in their own eyes,” when referring to just everyday life… No outright sin involved.

Even Well-Intentioned Christians… Like Me

So, do we do that, too? Do we live according to “what seems right in our own eyes”?

I would say a GIANT “yes” to that question.

EVEN, (now hear me on this), EVEN well-intentioned CHRISTIANS.

Gasp.

Even… ME (yes, I admit it).

Gasp.

Even… PASTORS.

*Faint*

Now, before you go thinking, “now wait just a cotton picking minute!” (where did that phrase even come from? haha)… but before you write me off, stick with me a minute & you’ll see what I mean.

But Wait! I Think I Know This One!

We, as humans, tend to take what we know & run with it, substituting a relationship with God, through the Holy Spirit, with our OWN knowledge of Scripture.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we need to study up on the Word of God, aka the BIBLE, because it is God’s Word to us. It is how He shows us who He is… His character, His will, His love, His GRACE.

BUT, we cannot study up & neglect a daily relationship with God, through prayer. Mostly because we will NEVER know it all. We are NOT God.

Satan Tries to Trick by Twisting Truth

Do you remember when, in Matthew 4 (I had to look up the reference) Satan tried to use Scripture to tempt Jesus, but because Jesus was God & also had a relationship with God the Father, He knew better & saw right through Satan’s manipulation & distortion of Truth?

Would you recognize it as a trick as easily as Jesus did?

We often think we do/will.

That Pesky Little “Lean Not on Your Own Understanding”

We tend to learn a whole lot & then proceed to lean on our OWN understanding (the exact OPPOSITE of what God tells us to do, in Proverbs 3 (again, Google is my friend).

Or, we tend to think KNOWING the Scripture (Bible) is the SAME as knowing how God wants to APPLY it at any given moment.

ESPECIALLY if one specific way worked for someone else, in accordance with God’s will… like, “oh okay, well we have THAT one figured out. No need to ask for God’s guidance & will for this situation because we already know!”

Some Things Are Solid

Now, yes, if it is “thou shalt not murder” (Exodus 20:13) or some other direct command, we don’t have to question God’s Word… but if it’s in applying a passage to our lives, God is a living, breathing God who is infinitely creative… In other words, it might be best to always be leaning into Him for His direction with HIS Word.

Abide in HIM

The vine & branches parable in the Bible (John 15) has been taking on fresh meaning to me lately as I realize just how EASY it is to rely on “doing what seems right in my own eyes.”

Unless we are ABIDING in Christ (there are about 30 references to that, in the Bible, according to my search), we are attempting to be a branch that is disconnected from the Vine (God), who just happens to be a branch that knows a whole lot ABOUT the Vine.

Fighting Back from What Seems Natural for the MORE That God Offers

I get it, we will never get it right 100% of the time, because acting based on what we think we see right in front of us seems SO EASY & SO NATURAL.

But God didn’t send us His Word so that we could read it & then go rogue.

God wants a relationship.

He wants to interact, guide, comfort, teach, grow, heal, & love us through this life.

He wants to do the heavy lifting while we dedicate our entire being to trusting our entire being to Him, His lead, His will, & His Vine-ness.

I Think I’m Okay, Though…

So, if you’re sitting there thinking, “I try very hard to please God & do good for Him, so I don’t think this message applies to me…” STOP.

Pray.

Ask God to reveal to you the areas where you ARE clinging to control (or “what seems right in your own eyes”), where you are relying on your “wisdom” instead of His… your perspective, instead of His… your way, instead of HIS.

Because I guarantee you this, there is AT LEAST one part where you have been fooled into thinking, “because I know this much, I am capable of doing this one on my own.”

Don’t let Satan keep you on the hamster wheel of false belief… false trust.

Run into Jesus’ welcoming, loving, COMPLETELY capable arms.

And STRIVE to live according to what IS right, in HIS eyes, through letting HIM take the lead of your life… through growing your relationship with Him, versus merely growing your knowledge base.

God Had Other Plans… & I Had No Idea

Today, this wasn’t my planned topic. I already wrote today’s blog (about “doing everything as if unto the Lord”), but I guess that topic will have to wait for next week.

At the beginning of this post, I said, “Okay, so this isn’t normally how I run my blog, but I feel like it needs to be said now, today.”

Honesty moment? I didn’t even know what “needed to be said” until the words fell out on the screen as I typed.

Scrap It & Walk Blind?

I felt a nudge, a wall, a hesitancy to continue my path, so I stopped & asked God why, so to speak.

And all I felt was that I should scrap that whole direction for today… all of the work I had already done… & just let Him talk. So, I erased my post & just starting typing what popped in my head, not knowing where it was headed.

Sometimes you have to let God interrupt your “regularly scheduled program” to let Him do what He wants instead.

In fact, every day of life should be about us stepping aside to let Him work His will through us… & we won’t know how to recognize the difference unless we stop to ask Him.

So ask Him.

Ask Him HOW

And if you have ZERO clue how to have that relationship with Him that I mentioned, start there. Ask Him to show you how to do it.

He is capable.

No one… I repeat… NO ONE is perfect at this… but “God gives grace to the humble” (written MANY times in the Bible!) & He “is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine” (Ephesians 3).

So, ask Him.

Doing Pretty Good? Ask Him Anyway.

And if you think your relationship with Him is already pretty good… remember that EVERYONE is imperfect… EVERYONE has space to grow… EVERYONE relies on themselves at least sometimes.

So, ask Him.

Shine Hope by growing a living relationship with a living God & letting Him be the boss, always.

Coming Next Week

This week, on Thursday, is our monthly Special Feature Post, so stay tuned!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Iris Earrings

Iridescent pink crystal beads sway on these golden teardrop hoops.

Artisan Information:

In Peru, rural citizens have been affected by extreme poverty & guerrilla warfare. Women are affected the worst as their husbands generally leave them in search of work. Many are unable to get the basic needs of food, shelter, & clothing. But with every purchase of this product, women are finding hope & an income by hand making this beautiful product. Because of you, these family businesses are now empowering the next generation!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Peru!

(*Also Pictured: Worthy Necklace from India!*)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Trusting God with Singleness

This week, I am continuing on from my topic last week of, “Trusting God with My Love of Love,” where I mentioned how I became okay with singlehood for the first time in my life, how I came to actually want that for myself, & finally, how God asked me to give that up.

Let me be clear that now that I have my husband, I wouldn’t want to trade him for the world, but before I knew there would be a husband, I became honestly satisfied with the idea of never getting married.

Of course, I still had weak moments where I would see a couple presumably in love, whether on screen, in a photo, or in real life… & I would start to dream of the “greener” grass on the other side… But after praying through my feelings of jealousy, peace would flood its place & I would be content all over again.

It was a learning process, but one I was no longer scared or anxious of the idea of it ever happening.

Either Single or Married

Single or married, trials would come… Single or married, I would still face heartache.

Hint: Married couples fight sometimes & have disagreements & can act like stubborn children, too. (If you are married, you might be like, “Mmmhhmm… preach it, girlfriend.”) Two imperfect people make for an imperfect marriage that only prayer for God’s wisdom, peace, & power can solve.

And the flip side is also true—Single or married, I would still feel loved… Single or married, I would still find adventure.

So, it no longer felt like my life would mean nothing if I never got married.

God has a purpose & a plan designed into me (& you), even single me, as an individual.

I then felt free to dream of the adventures before me, knowing full well that God was fully capable of filling me with adequate & fulfilling love.

But then… A Boy

But then, I met my now husband.

And you might think, “Okay, you SAID you were okay with singleness, but I am positive that that contrived “okay-ness” melted away into nothing instantly when you met him… Your true feelings were probably revealed when you no longer had to fake being “okay” with singleness.”

(I totally would have thought that about another person had it not been me, thinking they were just claiming to be okay. Like, “Yeah right, sister… I see right through your tough girl act.”)

But really, I was not interested.

I Was Equally Content Without & Scared of Love

Look at it from my perspective:

Love, romance, & romantic daydreaming had left me heartbroken & had broken too many hearts of guys I had really cared about.

Insecurities flooded me.

AND, I had just discovered how full of adventure & love a life could be without getting married.

I was not interested in messing with that newfound peace & assurance & promise of a grand life of adventure following God’s design for my life.

I WANTED that adventure!

And now there was a threat of giving up that new ideal.

I was not interested in rocking that boat.

I had finally found peace & I wanted to keep it that way.

Trust God No Matter What

God wanted me to not only trust Him in singleness, but to trust Him just as strongly in a relationship.

I was separating the two–trusting God or trusting in a relationship. But God wanted me to trust Him no matter what.

Relationships are often flooded with hormones that make us feel like we’re floating on air, holding our breath until we see that person again, building our lives around the happy feelings we feel around that person.

But we’re not meant to trust in or seek relationships to fulfill us, we’re meant to seek God for that.

A Person Can Never Fulfill Us

A person can never fulfill us—A person has limitations. A person is flawed. A person makes mistakes. A person has trauma & wrong ideas & misperceptions & misunderstandings. A person is just as imperfect as we are.

A person was never meant to fulfill us.

We are meant to lean into God for that fulfillment, while being a reflection of God’s patience, grace, love, sacrifice, & loyalty to our spouse & to the onlooking world.

We must lean into God for our needs, while seeking to fulfill other’s needs through God’s power, love, strength, courage, hope, love, peace, etc., by trusting God through it all.

Of course we mess up in trusting God with our needs & we fail & get selfish & make mistakes… but then we lean into God for restoration, renewal, & relationship.

HE is our Sustainer.

Trusting God with My Fears in a Relationship

So, now was my opportunity to trust God through my insecurities, trauma, & fears while in a relationship with another person—a person who could let me down, hurt me, leave me, scar me.

Sometimes it seems easier to trust God when it’s just us & Him… but trusting God with a relationship of unknowns means we trust God, not only when WE mess up, but also when THEY mess up.

Less control equals more fear & often requires more trust.

Avoiding to Find Contentment? Or Trusting God?

So, when we often think we are avoiding something because we are trusting God to be without it… maybe we should stop & ask ourselves if we’re willing to trust God WITH it, too.

If you have been following my journey for a while, (& I will get further into this in a later pivotal moment), my husband & I have tried to have kids for six years now—unsuccessfully.

Sometimes, I needed to ask myself these same questions—whether I was content being childless simply because I convinced myself that a childless life would be simpler? Or whether I trust God just as much EVEN IF He gives me children & I am faced with a messier, yet awesome, life?

Trusting God on one side of an issue is great & is exactly where we should be, but it is equally important to trust Him in the opposite circumstances.

Would You Trust Him With…

New life & loss?

New job & lost job?

New relationship & heartbreak?

Marriage & Singleness?

Healthy body & broken body?

Successful life & failure?

Popularity & neglect?

Fame & behind the scenes?

Prominence & subservience?

Plenty & hunger?

Contentment & anxiousness?

Dreams fulfilled & dreams lost?

Contentment through Trust in God Alone

Whatever side of the coin you’re on, make sure you ask yourself: Am I content in not having my way, by trusting God through it all… OR… Am I content with God changing things because I trust Him regardless?

In our wisdom, we try to fix our own problems, like me trying to gain contentment without children by convincing myself how difficult it would be… versus leaning into God as my solution. It seemed to fix my problem, but it really created a new problem for me.

Trusting God over our own wisdom is always better.

Step back, ask the hard questions of yourself, & ask God to graciously, patiently help you to trust Him where you lack, through His power & wisdom.

He’s got you.

Always.

Shine Hope by leaning into Him, no matter the circumstances.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternity Necklace

Multiple mix metal chains are hugged by a metal curved tube to create this simple yet elegant piece with a lobster clasp closure.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & they grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(Also pictured: Truth Earrings, made in the Philippines.)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Love Story

On this journey of pivotal moments in my life, where God helped me do a one hundred eighty degree turn around from my personal wisdom to trusting His, I cannot neglect talking about finding my husband God’s way.

I wrote about our love story in a two-part short story, so if you like reading love stories, check those out, by clicking each of the two links for A Love Story & A Love Story-Part 2.

Answered Prayers

But today, I want to talk to you about how God answered many prayers of mine along the path of meeting the man I now call my husband.

I am like many who will read this, I prayed for a good husband—someone who would love me forever & be loyal & be an understanding listener—but I just sort of expected to make my own decision, know immediately, fall in love, & get married.

But God doesn’t always work like that. Our understanding is limited, His is limitless. Sometimes (it should be always), we have to hold on in faith through the journey.

Scared of the Unknown

After falling in love out of high school, & then having to break his heart & my own to walk away, I was quite wary of the idea of believing in love again.

I didn’t want to let myself fall, only to have my heart or his broken.

I didn’t want to trust in a happily ever after that never came.

I didn’t want to trust in love, only to have that love walk out the door.

I didn’t want to wake up someday, only to be dreaming of some other man as the, “if only I had waited, & then I could have married this dream boat.”

I didn’t want a husband who had that happen to him.

I didn’t want depression or injury to push him into the arms of another woman.

Wrestling Insecurities

I also had my internal wheel of insecurities to wrestle with, still:

“I am too fat & ugly to maintain a loyal, loving man.”

“I talk too much & once a guy sees that, he will be looking for an out.”

“I struggle with depression at times, & that makes me less desirable.”

And the list went on.

In other words, I was scared to let myself love anyone. The cost seemed too high & the risk too great.

I Do… But I Don’t…

So, when I prayed, after losing my first love, my prayers were more like “Lord, I really want to fall in love & get married, but at the same time, I really, really don’t.”

So, I rested from dating, still praying for God’s wisdom & guidance (& healing of my broken heart).

I also read “When God Writes Your Love Story,” by Eric & Leslie Ludy, a book my Mom had gifted me as a teenager, at which I had rolled my eyes & shoved on a shelf, to be ignored every day since. But now, it seemed like a beacon of hope.

His Way Now

I no longer wanted relationships based on how much flirting I could do or how perfect I could make myself seem—a perfect listener, ALWAYS there for ANYTHING, always charming & flirtatious & trying eternally to be simply perfect in every way.

I was tired of the charade.

I was tired of heartbreak.

I was tired of all the fears.

I was ready to try GOD’S WAY because MY WAY was certainly NOT WORKING.

And so, I prayed, A LOT… & I read that book, inspired to try God’s way now.

Baby Steps… No Flirting (or Hinting) Allowed

The journey of trusting God instead of me, when it came to relationships, began to take a step in the right direction when I made a male friend at college, a couple years later.

You see, we started out as friends, but as it seems typical with friends of the opposite sex, one of us developed feelings for the other (hint, it was me).

But I wanted God’s way. I wanted to look back in marriage & KNOW that I didn’t manipulate the results & thus worry whether if I failed to keep up the charade, he would lose interest & leave me. I wanted God’s way instead.

So, I prayed instead of flirting.

Clinging to Prayer Versus Manipulation of Results

I stepped away from trying to impress a guy enough or be likeable or flirtatious enough to get noticed, & I started praying instead.

I asked God that if it was His will to be with this guy, that the guy would make the first move instead of me.

I didn’t flirt.

I didn’t hint at anything.

I didn’t talk about it in such a way that he might THINK I was interested, without actually SAYING I’m interested, so that he would be nudged to think it was possible if he would just get the guts to ask me already! (We girls NEVER do that, right? Cough cough.)

No, I kept it as friends & never assumed it would ever change & I never implied to him that I wanted anything different, EVER.

And when I wanted DESPERATELY to help things along, I cried out of frustration & just prayed, A LOT for the discipline to keep my big mouth SHUT.

And I prayed for God’s will over my own. (I also prayed to remember that God’s will was better than my own & to trust that when I wanted to cave & run into my friend’s arms for a Michelle Written Love Story!)

Nothing… & Still I Trusted in God Over Myself… For Once in Relationships

And guess what… the friend NEVER ONCE made a move… & I managed (through God’s power alone), to keep my big mouth shut.

And we stayed friends… & he since got married… & I adore his now wife.

I am SO GRATEFUL that we both clung to God instead of each other, because we can stay friends with no awkward past!

God ALWAYS knows best, even when we are absolutely convinced that we do!

But that also left me single.

Meeting an Encourager

So, I kept praying & I had the chance to meet with my Aunt, who had lost her love many years ago & who had run into the arms of Jesus as a result of her deep hurt.

She encouraged me so much, just seeing the peace & assurance that flowed through her words & her life. She had such inner strength, that you could tell flowed from her deep trust in God over herself or her circumstances.

She traveled the world, as a summer missionary to several locations, from which she would rotate each summer.

She inspired me. She showed me what I life of single-hood could offer—a life so in love & so in touch with God’s guidance, peace, strength, & wisdom that seemed to flow through every aspect of her personality & life & encouraged everyone around her.

A Holy Distraction

I decided then that a speaker I had heard at Liberty University was right, “Marriage is a holy distraction. Yes, it is a blessing ordained by God, but He also says that if we can manage it, a life devoted to God is so much more fulfilling. With a family, you are distracted often from deepening your own knowledge of & relationship with God because you are hopefully dedicated to encouraging those things in your family & expending your energy & focus on them instead of God quite frequently. Not bad, but still, “a holy distraction.””

I no longer rolled my eyes at or recoiled at the idea of singlehood.

I actually wanted it!

So, then came the next step in trusting God with relationships—giving up that idea of singleness… but that will have to wait for next week.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Change Earrings

Silver hammered hoops feature coral and turquoise-toned beads wrapped in a fun color-blocked pattern. Crafted in Pakistan.

Artisan Information:

In this area of Pakistan, women are often sold as bond slaves due to family debt. Education & work opportunities are limited for women in this country, as their lives are oppressed because of their gender. Through your purchase, these women are being freed from bondage. They can now make a self-reliant income, while also receiving reading & writing classes. You can bring hope to women in Pakistan!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Pakistan!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Quick Thank You for Your Prayers

First of all, I want to thank you for your graciousness if you checked for my blog post last week & missed it. We had a sudden loss in our family & we are all still in an adjustment phase of life right now. I will share more when it is more appropriate, but please continue to pray for our family.

Pivot Moments

As you may know, I have been working through retelling major pivotal moments in my life where God shone through in the toughest of circumstances & different areas where He grew me beyond what I thought capable.

God is an awesome God. He is limitless & infinite & has unconditional love for us, demonstrated by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross to redeem us for our wrongs if we but ask.

This week, I am taking us a step back to share another amazing thing that came through the reading of “Authentic Beauty”, by Leslie Ludy.

Looking Back & Lessons Learned

I mentioned a couple weeks ago about the encouragement to destroy a stronghold that had been keeping me captive—keeping me from finding freedom & healing through the leaning into the strength, wisdom, & power of God.

I also mentioned the demonic attack that came after that decision & action, overshadowed completely by God making everything calm with a single thought. His power infinitely overpowers the worst Satan can try against us.

But this week, I wanted to share with you the spark that encouraged me into ministry.

He Makes Me Worthy

First, let me just say that I am no one extraordinary. I am not super disciplined. I am not the most eloquent speaker. I am not even sinless or temptation-free (no one is). I have made & continue to make my fair share of mistakes.

I am just a girl… A daughter of the King. Not because of anything I specifically deserve, but because of the redemption I have found in submitting to Christ.

I still have a naturally fleshly heart that wants to rebel & question & wander. I have to continually check myself & pray for God to rein me back in with His truth, love, & grace.

God created everyone with a God-designed purpose, but we often drown that out by listening to the world instead of leaning into Him.

Learning to Lean into God Above Myself

I am not good at leaning into Him. I am good at relying on myself & the wisdom I far too often rely on, based on human understanding versus the wisdom of our all-knowing, loving God.

I am to be taken with a grain of salt, checked against with Scripture Truth… a human with limitations, temptations, & continual failures.

But I am redeemed & I am learning (by leaning into God for help to do it) to trust God’s plan over mine… to let Him define me & not my own desires or understanding or scars… to let Him shape me into the woman He created me to be.

It was that spark of realization that began my journey of striving to a be a light for Christ in my life.

He Created You with Purpose, Too

And He can do the exact same for you. Because you are just as much created by Him with purpose as I am (flawed past, present, & future included).

He is just as capable of changing you from the inside out as He has & is doing with me.

God is the power behind the will & act of change (Hint: because of my strong will, I have to pray often for even the DESIRE to submit to this change & His purposes–& He is faithful to shape my heart. We don’t have to try to outwill ourselves without His help).

Lean into Him… Not me… Not yourself… Not others.

“Someone Else Can Do It”

I am not immune to the trends of culture. I long believed that it was always “the church’s” job to do the work within the church. But who is “the church”?

We are.

I always used to let everyone else do the ministry work, thinking that work was for pastors & “super spiritual” people. I was believing a lie born of the devil.

I was letting the devil convince me to sit on the sidelines, keep my mouth shut about the hope of Christ, treat church like a Christian country club, & let others do the heavy lifting.

I thought I wasn’t good enough to lead or to do much of anything.

But, God.

But God designed the church to work like a body, each serving a purpose to edify, lift up, encourage, & point others to the hope found only in Him.

Whether sharing the Gospel hope brought by Jesus Christ, cleaning up after others,  bringing meals to those suffering, helping with financial support, going out into the community to love & to serve, or leading a Bible Study… etc. etc. etc….

… Ministry isn’t just from a pulpit. It’s not a pastor only job. It’s a day by day living for Christ & being a light in the world for Christ. It’s leaning into Him & His Truth & being a living outpouring of that hope, truth, & love.

I Was Called… You Are Called

And when I finished reading that book, among a couple others I cannot recall, I realized that reality.

I, as an individual was… & YOU as an individual are… called to live for Christ… not to sit on the sidelines while the world despairs through their own human wisdom & understanding.

We’re in a war & we are too often letting the enemy dictate the rules of the battle instead of leaning into our Almighty God.

We need to join the church body, not just to do what is glamorous or fits what pleases us or makes us look good. We need to do what needs to be done.

I did not set out to run a blog, but followed the prompting of God’s leading to be a light in this world, but it started back then, with a spark to do more.

What is God calling you to? What is His design for you?

Take the time to pray it over & keep praying until it’s clear… & pray for the will to start praying, if that’s what it takes.

… & start by serving the church where you can.

Lean into God & let Him lead you. Shine HIS hope, through His power & wisdom.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side & off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Hold Up

I was reminded, upon completing last week’s post about “Falling in Love, Heartbreak, & Learning to Trust God’s Plan,” that I neglected to mention a special pivotal moment of discovering who God made me to be, despite who I thought I was already.

Shaping Our Identity

Growing up, we all sort of grow to believe who we think we are, based on what our parents or others say about us or based upon stereotypes that the world presents to us.

We form our idea of “self” based on so many different internal & external factors: our desires, our fears, our insecurities, our successes, our failures, our wants & the way others view us or talk about us (among many other things).

We also create habits of self-protection to either save face or prevent a future hurt.

Insecure & Unsatisfied

For me, I grew up severely insecure about my appearance—so much so that I would shower with a t-shirt on & was afraid to see my face in the mirror because I was too afraid to look at myself.

I saw myself as unlovable & disgusting.

But, in my late teens/early twenties, I was determined not to stay stuck in a place of self-loathing because, like so many of us, I just desperately wanted to feel like I was worthy to be loved by someone.

I Had a Plan… A Plan That Backfired

So, instead of praying about it, I created a self-protection technique to help me get attention (which I thought was basically proof that I could be wanted & therefore, loved.

Besides deciding to shower in a t-shirt & avoid mirrors, I also self-protected by deciding to dress in a way that drew attention to my “assets” by wearing low-cut shirts & short shorts.

I thought attention to my body was the same as attention to me. (I was wrong.)

And, to top it off, I grew accustomed to speaking in such a way that way that each sentence was dripping with innuendos & flirtatious banter.

I taught myself how to make anything into a dirty joke because it proved effective in getting that attention I craved.

When I admitted to being a virgin at the time, people actually laughed heartily because I was so convincing to the contrary. I was proud of that (but a little hurt).

Getting Attention… But Something Felt Off

Perfecting the role I had assumed, I made more friends & got loads more attention.

I thought it was great. I enjoyed the power trip & the confidence that came with it.

But something just felt off.

The attention I was getting made me feel objectified more than loved or cared for. It made me feel icky.

Maintaining the Façade

I felt like I had to maintain this persona in order to feel worth anyone’s time or attention, but sometimes I just didn’t feel like I was being authentic… Like I was keeping up an act in order to stay appealing.

I guess that’s why my heart cries out toward actors & singers & other celebrities. Maintaining an air of perfect “I get along with EVERYbody ALL the time,” is just hard & quite frankly unattainable.

Everyone deserves an opportunity to just wear a messy bun, sweatpants, talk about things that aren’t as “appealing” to others, & just be real. No one is perfect. No one.

But I tried to be. I got pretty good at reading people & would adjust my personality or talk to make myself more appealing. I wanted to be liked & loved.

But like I said, it wore on me. I felt tired of keeping up this image.

I wanted to just slice through the fake efforts, just be myself & have that be enough for someone.

Who Am I If Not This?

But the biggest problem was, I didn’t know who I actually was without this personality I had invented.

I didn’t know how many friends I would have left if I didn’t keep up this image… this act.

I didn’t want to risk losing everyone… my circle… my net… my support.

I didn’t want to be alone.

I didn’t want to be unwanted.

So, I kept it up & dug in deeper to this image of confidence I portrayed to the world.

Unwanted Wanting

Guy friends ended up taking more “liberties” with me than I felt comfortable, but I was too worried about seeming insecure, about breaking the mirage I tried so hard to maintain.

And by the time it broke my heart enough (& with the supportive help of a good friend coaching me through it (Thank You, JD!), when I finally started standing up for myself… they got aggressive about it.

I was sexually assaulted by several friends, several times.

I was starting to realize that I no longer wanted so much attention.

I started to hate my persona.

I started to hate who I had become. Who I thought I was.

I felt so afraid because I didn’t know if that really was me, & if it wasn’t, I didn’t know who I was. I was afraid to lose everyone.

Finally… I Prayed

I was afraid that if I let the façade slip… if I faced depression again… if I didn’t try hard to be so loyal & friendly & a great listener & flirtatious & on & on & on, then any guy I dated would just walk away.

But I couldn’t keep the mask on forever.

So, I started to finally pray.

“God, I don’t know who I am. I don’t feel like I have any value. I feel unlovable. I don’t feel like I am special or desirable. I am afraid of being alone & unloved. I am afraid of being so ugly & not feeling like I have anything else to make anyone think twice about me. I don’t know who I am outside of this. This feels like me. It comes so naturally to me… but something about it hurts… Like I have to ALWAYS be this way in order to keep anyone around. God, I feel like this is me, but I guess You made me, so I guess if anyone knows who I am meant to be, it’s You. Show me YOUR potential for me. Show me YOUR design. Show me who YOU created me to be. And help me to trust You if I lose everything in the process. Please help me!!”

It was a scary & difficult prayer to pray, but I prayed it so many times I lost count.

I Wanted God’s Way… I Didn’t Want to Feel Used & Fake Anymore

I was desperate to feel like there was more to me than this fake girl who always had to make everyone happy 100% of the time & drew in people who took advantage of me just to feel like I had some worth.

God had to know. And I needed to know.

I needed to find me… His way… His plan… His design.

And guess what, Beautiful, He began to show me.

God Makes All Things New

Slowly, gradually, the fake flirtatious persona began to fade away as opportunities for dirty jokes would come up & just seem to be unappealing… I would just feel disgusted, like, “No, I am worth more than that. I don’t have to make people think about sex in order to be valued.”

It was a hard road & I ended up stepping away from several friendship circles, but I suddenly didn’t care so much.

I felt confident & free. I felt like I was finally myself (& I was finally okay with that!)

Who Do You Let Define YOU?

You see, it’s easy to let the world define us.

It’s easy to let our past define us.

It’s easy to let our inner cut-downs define us.

But we need to learn to let GOD define us.

God created you, Beautiful… & He doesn’t make mistakes.

God MADE You

Maybe you don’t measure up to what your parents, siblings, family, friends, or to what the world thinks you should be: prettier, smarter, thinner, more fashionable, more fit, more creative, less creative, blonder, darker, lighter, taller, shorter, curlier hair, straighter hair, etc….

But GOD MADE YOU.

We try to fashion ourselves into the niche we feel we belong based on the facts we believe about ourselves or what we believe others want from us…

But GOD MADE YOU.

Lean into Him. Ask Him. Ask Him to show you His design for you.

And don’t be satisfied to stop praying until you see Him begin to shape you & change you from the inside out… an inner confidence based on His design & your worth based on His love & care for you.

GOD MADE YOU.

Take Your Presuppositions & Pray About Them

And I can tell you from personal experience, that if you take your presuppositions & assumptions about who you think you are or who you think you have to be or are supposed to be… & you take that to Him in prayer, to trade it for HIS DESIGN instead… You will NOT be disappointed.

In fact, you will finally feel like YOU.

Imagine that!

Trust Him always, Darling. He loves you infinitely & He doesn’t make mistakes, no matter what anyone says about you (or no matter what you say to yourself—stop that inner self-hate dialogue!)

Trust Him. Always. Trust His DESIGN.

Shine Hope by being your beautiful, God-designed SELF!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Complexities of Wanting Love

“Love”, oh what a wonderful topic to think about….

Or maybe it just seems elusive to you, a wish you wish for, but you feel is an impossible reality.

Or maybe yet, you have been hurt by love & either fear it or just feel jaded by it.

Well, all of the above describe how I once felt about LOVE.

Cue the Meet Cute

And then, I met someone who helped me open my heart to all of the beauty & joy & adventure of love… & no, I’m not talking about my husband (I didn’t know him yet).

And no, I am also not talking about God.

I am talking about a guy I met soon after high school.

This is not a typical love story though, because while I felt I had met the boy of my dreams, we never had a happily ever after.

Afraid of Love

I grew up with an unhealthy fear of long-term relationships.

I assumed they all fail… that one side would inevitably lose interest or feel trapped in the relationship… that some fights or disagreements would end up being unsolvable… that rifts form & that lusting after others through porn, flirtation, or adultery would always happen eventually.

I assumed I was too difficult to be loved… not pretty enough…  too emotional… too much of a mess… too insecure… too much of a talker… too unlovable… & that eventually, any guy who married me would figure that all out & want out.

In other words, I assumed it was only a matter of time before my heart was crushed, if I gave my heart to love someone.

Because of this, I was afraid to love. I was afraid to get attached.

I prayed over relationships, wanting so badly for love to be a possible reality for me.

Oh, What a Feeling!

And then I met him… a guy who opened my heart.

I felt so in love. I cherished every long phone conversation & was elated at every chance to spend even a few moments with him.

I shared my heart, my deepest fears & hurts… & he did the same.

He was kind & caring & took care of me. He was a wonderful friend.

I wanted so badly to love him forever & to finally break free of the fear. I wanted to marry him.

I wanted to believe he could really love me forever.

And I am sure he would have.

I trusted him & cared for him more than I ever believed I could care about someone.

But I broke his heart.

I Thought I Knew

I was ready to go all in… to trust him with my heart & to start talking about marriage.

I was ready to follow him anywhere & leave my fears behind.

I was ready to beat the odds with the man I loved so much.

I wanted to marry him more than I had ever wanted anything.

But I broke his heart.

I kept praying about our relationship.

“God, please let me marry him! I love him so much! I trust him & care about him, even at his worst. He is so kind & so good to me. I can tell him anything & know that he cares for me. Please let me feel peace to push through the fear & marry him. I want to spend my life with him. He means so much to me. Please, please, please!”

But every time I sought God’s peace & blessing to spend my life with this wonderful friend, I felt a brick wall.

“Just Keep Praying,” I Thought… “Maybe God Will Change His Mind”

I couldn’t move past the feeling of unrest, an obvious, unsettled lack of peace in my heart.

So, I kept praying through the weeks & months we were together, unwilling to let go of the man I loved so much based on a current lack of peace.

I assumed the peace would come eventually, if I just held on & kept praying.

But it never came.

The dread started seeping in, as I realized that I didn’t feel God was ever going to be giving His blessing–His blessing, based on His omniscient, all-wise, over-all perspective.

But, God.…! Pleeeaase!

I hurt so many nights after a day well spend with the man I loved so much. I grieved the potential break up I felt God was edging me toward.

I felt as if God was gently trying to pry my fingers off of what I was clinging to so tightly… my desire to spend my life with the man I loved.

And I didn’t want to let Him.

I wanted to beg Him to change His mind.

I didn’t understand why God would let me love someone so much & not let me be with him. It felt so unfair.

No Matter the Reason, Yet I Will Trust Him

I knew this man didn’t trust in God, but I thought that could change as he got to know Him through our relationship.

I could feel my heart compromising my faith as I sought to be agreeable to the man I loved. But I thought I could overcome that.

But no matter God’s reasons, He was making it clear that my love & I were not the best match for each other, in some ways that I couldn’t even see myself.

And so, after many tears, much rebellious stalling (hoping to never have to leave him… hoping God would change His mind if I waited just a week longer), after seeing that God did not budge in allowing me peace to continue my relationship that I wanted so badly… I broke the heart of the man I loved.

Crushed… Shattered… Yet Not Hopeless

I knew he wouldn’t understand that I had gotten my answer from prayer, because he didn’t believe in God.

I didn’t want to explain why I had to do it, because I wanted him to trust God & not hate him.

And so, I let my love hate me instead.

And it crushed me… shattered me.

Collateral Damage

To make matters worse, I also leaned into a great friend for support, only to end up crushing his heart as well, when my love returned & I left my friend behind, not knowing his care for me was more romantic than friendship.

And when my love had returned, I was sure this time God would say yes this time around. But He didn’t… & I had to crush his heart & mine a second time.

I lost two people I cared for SO MUCH within a short time.

Not only did I have to walk away from someone I cared so strongly for, but I let him believe I didn’t love him as much as I did, in order to protect his potential future trust in God, the only One who could ever love him the way that he really needed.

Crawling Out from the Wreckage… Finding Hope

This heartbreak haunted me for about 5 years. I would check his Facebook once or twice a year just to relieve myself that he was happy & healthy & loved. I would cry when a movie reminded me of him (like Becoming Jane or Fever Pitch). I would wish that someday, God would bring us back together again… until he married someone else.

I have prayed for him consistently since then, that he would feel loved & cared for… that God would reach his heart & give him a kind of freedom & joy & peace like he’s never known. That God would guide him as a husband & father…. That he would come to Jesus & find lasting, sure hope.

I know now the story God had planned for me was my wonderful husband, Jamie, who loves me in a way that grows me as a human being & encourages me to lean into God with each trial, hurt, or obstacle. I know that God knew what He was doing because my husband & are so complementary in how we support each other. I wouldn’t trade my husband for the world!

But I didn’t know then.

I just had to blindly trust that if God was not going to give me peace, He had a reason.

God Always Knows… God Always Has a Plan… And He Loves Us Unconditionally

I lost someone I loved & I grieved for several years as if he had died, but God had a different plan for our lives & I know now that God knew what He was doing all along.

God always knows.

I know our hearts can be convincing, but God sees our full past, present, & future, with every facet & nuance & hidden trauma. He knows our God-given gifting & the plans He has built into our lives & our purpose.

He always knows best.

My love was real, but God knew better than me.

And I am so glad that I trusted God above my love for the man I loved so much.

Thankful I Listened

I will never stop praying for that man because of how much he once meant to me, but I know 100% that God had a better plan for the both of us & I am so thankful that I listened to God’s nudging on my heart to let go & trust God instead of my heart.

Always trust God before emotions, desires, & dreams… He always knows best.

He knows YOU best & He knows what is best for YOU. Trust Him first, always.

Shine hope, by bowing your will to His way & trusting Him with every step, every desire, every hurt, & every love. God’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Co-Founder Holly’s passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Whether in the brothels of Asia to hometown USA, her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity. A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Quick Recap

Today, we come to yet another pivotal moment in my life…

So far, I have shared with you:

• Simplicity of grace in how I came to know Jesus
• My long-time battle of doubts & my eventual decision to not only pray, but to try to find happiness on my own terms
• My experience through depression & how God used that dark time in my life to solidify a foundation of TRUTH to rest in.

And now, I wish to share with you a multi-week story of what happened after I discovered that solid, reliable truth.

I Think I Know Best… But I Don’t

After God showed up in a big way, through my depression, & after He woke me up to the fact that HE was the source of truth I had been searching for for so long, was I always faithful to God? No.

I often gave (give) into human nature & I relied on what I personally thought was best, before even stopping to consider that God would know better & that I could always ask Him for wisdom. (I still struggle with this!)

It’s the human nature way of doing things when we just go through life either “winging” it or thinking we’ve got the answer & we’re ready to go… or flailing through life, wondering what in the world to do.

We (or at least I) tend to think, “I’ve got this!” or, “I SHOULD be able to do this!”

God Is Willing, But Will I Ask?

But God is right there with us, offering His wisdom, guidance, comfort, & help… so why is it so hard to ask Him versus auto-pilot mode?

This will be a forever-growing type of learning because it goes against our desire to feel in control & self-sufficient.

But, I digress….

As I currently struggle with this, I struggled with it then, too.

Turning to Music Instead of God

And a big area of struggle for me was turning to music instead of Someone who could actually help me-God.

I don’t mean that I was listening to crude, explicit music… nor that anything other than “Christian” music is even bad.

But what I mean is this—when life got hard & teen angst was winning over in my flurry of teenage hormones & emotions, my first instinct was definitely not prayer.

Validate Me!

I wanted to feel validated for what I wanted to feel about what I was feeling.

(Ain’t it fun to be a teenager? Haha. But really, I still do this.)

Oh, sometimes I thought about praying, though… but then I felt this sort of rebellion flare up inside of me, like, “No, I’m fine! I just want to listen to these sad love songs or sad ‘how dare they hurt me’ music & then I’ll be better!”

I was turning to music as my source of peace, only finding myself brooding or feeling worse because of how unfair the world felt.

The Music Always Had My Back…

I felt justified in my anger or hurt or bad attitude toward someone or some circumstance & the music was always there to back me up with lyrics like, “how dare they…” or “they’ll think twice before they…” or “I’m so sad & it’s all their fault….”

Angst galore.

And I didn’t pray for clarity or God’s peace or wisdom on how to handle it.

I just wallowed & sang along to the sad, sad tune.

But I Have a RIGHT to be Upset!

I think I liked the feeling of being justified in how upset or hurt I felt, without realizing that dwelling on those thoughts so deeply only left me feeling more hurt.

I enjoyed the drama, but I hated the hurt.

Next Time, Though…

And every time that I noticed this being the trend of results I was getting, I thought to myself, “why didn’t I just pray & ask God to comfort me & give me peace & strength & wisdom? It ALWAYS helps! You know what? No more turning to those sad songs to justify my hurt. NEXT TIME, I am definitely going to pray instead because all that hurt sucks!”

But next time…? Yep, you guessed it… I didn’t pray.

I wallowed & slunk dejectedly toward my music player, popped on my headphones, slid under the covers, & brooded the night away in tears.

It was a pathetic, sad cycle that always left me worse off.

Friendships That Encourage Us to Lean into God

But then, I had a certain friend. I’ll call her R. She encouraged me to seek God more.

We used to go in book stores, sit cross-legged on the floor, in the Christian books section, grab random books off the shelf & talk about life in our little tucked away corner.

I’m not sure how it started, but we decided to read through “Authentic Beauty”, by Leslie Ludy. (If you click the title, it will take you to view it on Amazon.com.)

My friend & I would talk about this book sometimes over the phone or on our get-togethers on the floor of the bookstore.

That book changed my world!

Hidden Gaps & Traps

The author, Leslie, talked about how we all cling to the things that we think will make us happy, but find ourselves trapped by them (um, me!) & how there are so many things that are either subconscious beliefs or tucked away secrets that keep us from going “all in” with our faith in God.

Those hidden or noticeable things entice us to hold back parts of ourselves from God, as if He doesn’t already know & see them.

Learning to Purge

In the book, Leslie also talks about doing a purge of both physical items & mental strongholds that we cling to, whether it be memories, shame, fears, doubts, etc.

Old love letters you keep tucked away for a day you feel low? Gone. (It only reminds you of what you don’t have & ends up hurting even worse.)

Pictures, mementos, or other things from old relationships that you hold on to as a sort of contingency plan when you don’t like yourself? Trash. (Clinging to anything but God is never going to satisfy us… It just makes the gaping holes more obvious!)

And my music collection. All of it. Everything. Out. (No more clinging to something that only hurt me worse. No more clinging to false anchors that leave me washed up on shore, in despair.)

Mrs. Ludy also included an online prompt guide that you could print out, to help you address thoughts that are clouding your heart & mind & keeping you trapped in the past. (I believe it is still available… check out her website on my website Resources & Recommendations tab!)

Let’s Get It Started!

Well, my friend R & I decided it was time to get together at a park, start a fire in the fire pit & take time to apologize to God for trusting these things over Him & then asking Him to help us cling to Him through life instead. It was time to purge.

And so, we took turns burning things we had held so tightly to that were just keeping us back in the empty hole of pain.

Be Gone!

I destroyed several hundred dollars’ worth of CDs.

Gone to ash.

“Why?!” you might ask… “Why didn’t you just give them away or sell them or throw them in the trash?!! That is so much wasted money!!!”

Yes, all of those thoughts screamed in my head as well.

But I didn’t want to cling to something that kept causing me more pain. I wanted out from under its hold on me. I wanted to trust God to be sufficient in His comfort, strength, & wisdom, versus a sad song to affirm my pain in the moment, but also offer no help or solution.

And if I gave it away, I would probably beg for it back… If I sold them, I felt like I was doing it for profit… & if I threw it away, I would cave & go get them out.

And I knew that the money used to buy those CDs was made possible by God’s blessing & that I would rather have Him than a CD collection.

It Was My Shackles

Call me fanatical if you’d like, but I will tell you right now that my heart KNEW I was imprisoned by that collection. I felt like I NEEDED it to survive any hurt I faced.

It was a lie. And I clung to it with white knuckles.

It wasn’t the CD collection that was wrong… It was the control it had over me.

I didn’t burn everything non-Christian related that I owned. I specifically burned that CD collection because I recognized how much power it had over me & I was no longer satisfied letting that remain the case.

God Knew What I Needed Was Really HIM

I will tell you right now that God helping me recognize that clinging to my CD collection for hope & validation was the source of so much of my heartache… & then having the faith & courage to demolish that source of control over me so I could trust the loving source of God in my life… It was the most freeing thing I have done.

I felt free. SO FREE.

Like, “Bye, Felicia! Buh-BYE! See ya never!”

It felt great!

Finding the Balance, Removing the Control

And do I have non-Christian CDs now? Yes. (I, for one, love Disney music, so… no judgement please, haha.)

But I didn’t have any new CDs (other than worship/praise to God music) for several years after that, until it no longer was my go-to.

Not the Music… The Control

Did I judge anyone else for having other music? NO! Because I knew it wasn’t the music that was bad (singing about love or happy blessings in our life is not sinful), it was the control the music had OVER me.

And I made sure that every time I hurt after that, when I felt that rebellion flare up that “I don’t need God! I’m fine!” I would then stop… breathe… close my eyes… & ask God to help me change my heart & my snooty, rebellious, temper tantrum attitude.

Then I asked Him to give me real peace & hope & comfort through Him, in my hurt, in its place.

It was 100% more effective.

Every time.

Reflect & See What Is Controlling You… & Give It Over to God & Find Freedom through Trusting God Instead!

So, what’s the moral of the story, you ask? Don’t buy music? Burn everything you own? No.

The point is to take time for reflection & ask God what is holding you back from trusting Him more.

Ask Him to show you what you’re hiding & for Him to be the gentle guide to help you eradicate it from your heart so it doesn’t keep controlling you.

Ask Him to give you courage to trust Him through the process.

Maybe go to Leslie Ludy’s site & go through the prompt guide yourself.

And ask God to comfort you through the healing.

He is walking alongside you, waiting for you to ask.

It’s not all up to you to fix everything broken or to heal everything hurting.

He is able. He is willing.

Ask Him for help. It’s so, SO worth it, Beautiful One!

Coming Next Week

This Week is time for our monthly Special Feature post! So check back on Thursday to see what it is!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Inverted Capiz Earrings

These earrings feature shimmery, creamy white capiz shells, each framed by a black edge.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchases, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Pivotal, Life-Changing Moments

Everybody has those moments… You know, the ones that seem to happen unexpectedly, when something about you or your life changes drastically, changing you forever in the process.

They seem to take your life, yell, “Pivot!!” (as only Ross from the show Friends can), & then make it change course from there on out.

I have had maybe ten or so of these life-changing moments that seem like they happened only yesterday because their memories are so vivid.

The First Pivot

So, let’s start with the simplest & earliest one of mine & take a journey through these pivotal moments in my life… a sort of autobiography if you will, except, instead of highlighting my life, we are showing a highlight reel of God’s work in my life.

The first one was the day that I met Jesus.

My Childhood At Church

I was fortunate to grow up in a Christian home. I knew it was important to pray & read my Bible & learn about God. I grew up going to Sunday School before the service & memorizing Bible verses in exchange for pieces of chocolate.

I wasn’t sure what it all meant or the difference between telling stories & which of the stories were actually true retellings in Scripture, because it just seemed like story-time to me at that young age… but something about it just felt right.

The Doubts Came Later…

As a child, I had a pure, simplistic faith in God. I didn’t have doubts to question it, I just accepted it as is, & knew deep-down that something about it just felt true.

Now, as I would grow older, the doubts would arise, seemingly unshakable, causing me to question everything I once believed with ease, unwilling to believe something merely because I was taught to believe it.

But, spoil alert, those doubts that seemed to haunt my every step, unwilling to waver or vanish, were demolished once and for all & my relationship with the grace of Jesus became personal & unshakable… but that’s a Pivot moment for another blog post.

Childlike Faith

As a child, though, my faith was sure. It was pure & trusting. Something in me just connected with it & accepted it without hesitation.

Like a child reaching up & taking the hand of an adult, I trusted that God was real.

I didn’t understand all the ins & outs. I didn’t know much about God. But something in me FELT Him there with me, holding my hand through life… & that was enough for me then.

The Simple, Life-Changing Gospel of God’s Grace

I still remember that day like it was yesterday (except I was much shorter & cuter back then), when I went & asked my parents how I could “ask Jesus into my heart”—the terminology that was used with us as kids.

In essence, all it meant was accepting that God was in charge & I was not… That me choosing to do things my way instead of His was wrong, foolish, & sinful… That I could never bridge the gap between my imperfections & sin to His perfection & grace because I was soiled by sin… But that Jesus came to pay my debt on the cross… That He overcame death & sin by rising from the grave… & that my trust in His salvation for me could cleanse me in the presence of God Almighty.

Accepting the gift of Jesus’ sacrifice on my behalf made me right with God. Not my works, but His.

My Understanding as a Child

And as a little child, around five or six, maybe, that made sense to me.

I knew I had acted selfishly sometimes by wanting toys for myself. I knew I talked back to my parents sometimes. I knew that I had messed up & that I didn’t deserve God.

But I also knew that Jesus had changed that for me… & I wanted to lean into that hope.

The Big Moment… The Pivot

And one night, on the couch in our living room of the house I grew up in… that prayer, led by my Mom, of asking forgiveness for my wrongs & helping me to follow Jesus instead of my way… & to trust Jesus’ gift of grace… is how I became a Christian.

It’s really as simple as that.

It’s not anything we can earn or purchase. It’s literally a free gift to anyone who can accept their need of it. It’s not fancy, specific scripts or recitations.

It’s just a simple, honest prayer, asking for God’s grace to cover your sins & trusting Him over yourself.

God’s Work in Me

No fireworks shot off… there was no fanfare… but it was Pivotal like nothing else.

God’s grace, through Jesus, is not something we have to “clean up for” first. It’s not something we have to prove we deserve. It’s not ever something we have to or can be “good enough” for.

It is simply an invitation to take us as we are, shameful history & all, & to change us from the inside out AS we lean into God for His work in us, AFTER we accept our need for His grace to save us.

His work, not ours.

Anything I do from here on is simply my way of expressing my gratitude & TRUST in the ways of the One Who saved me!

That’s the simplicity of the Gospel.

Forever Changed… In a Moment & Continually

The day that I accepted Jesus as Lord of my life, I was forever changed.

It happens all at once & over time.

I am immediately changed because Jesus’ sacrifice saves me once & for all from the threat of my deserved punishment of eternity in Hell.

And I am changed over time as I learn to bow my human nature to His will. He grows me, He shapes me. He takes the broken parts & makes them beautiful. He takes my temptations & teaches me to lean into Him for strength. He takes my weaknesses & uses them to show Himself capable. He takes my broken heart, mends it, heals it, & He pours His love into the empty crevices of my soul.

The Greatest Adventure Imaginable

He is my everything.

Am I perfect? Heck NO!

But I am now relying on the perfect God in my imperfections.

It’s the grandest adventure I ever imagined.

Learning to Know & Love God More

I once, in my early teen years, through the doubt storm, thought that God was all about rules & dictatorship… But as I grow, I see God as the most patient, loving Father & Friend who walks alongside me, strengthens me, guides me, & grows me into the woman He created me to be.

He heals my heart breaks.

He guides me through the storms of life.

He gives me sure foundation & peace when life flips upside down.

He bolsters me with His strength when mine fails.

He gives me wisdom when I feel lost.

He loves me when I feel unlovable.

He never forsakes me.

He always is quick to forgive me, patient through all of my failures.

He is grace & love & freedom & joy & strength & HOPE.

My Inadequacy Is Eclipsed by His Grace

And all the while, I am reminded how much my actions & inactions prove how much I do not deserve His grace, & yet that is the whole definition of grace, wrapped up in the idea that it is completely undeserved.

I am humbled constantly.

I feel foolish & stupid more often than I would like to admit as I try to live out this life on my own, fail miserably, only to be met with His patient smile, outstretched arms, & His wisdom & strength to get it right the next go around.

Not Perfect, But Trusting in the One Who Is

Christianity doesn’t make me perfect… It makes me redeemed in the sight of the One Who IS perfect.

And so begins my journey of big “Pivot!” type moments.

It all started with a simple trust, a simple faith in the grace of God.

It all started with the simple prayer of a child with childlike faith.

And that is where our journey begins.

Reflection… And an Invitation

Have you taken His outstretched hand yourself or are you holding out?

If Satan has tricked you into a pool of endless doubts & shame & rebellious resistance, but maybe you feel that soft, gentle whisper on your soul to come home, then start by asking God to clear your heart & mind to see Him for Who He really is, & not what the world has painted Him to be.

Ask Him to clear out your doubts & to reveal only the Truth.

Ask Him to guide you home so that your adventure can begin, too.

God is asking you to “Pivot!!” but in a much sweeter way & for a much grander purpose & with much more potential than you could ever imagine.

Will you listen?

I did, & it was the best decision I ever made, that led to the best adventure imaginable… as I live, grow, fail, & see Him along the way, loving me & growing me all along the way.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST for my next big Pivot moment.

God works in our lives in countless little & big moments, but I am especially excited to share the highlight reel of God’s work throughout my life, because every great change has been a result of His guiding me to grow. Grow with me!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side and off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

(*Also Pictured: Northern Lights Studs, made in India!)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

It’s My Way or The Highway

It’s easy to go through life on our own terms.

We naturally go through life the best way we know how. We live according to what seems right to us.

We understand we aren’t perfect, but we do our best.

Sometimes we beat ourselves up when we don’t get it right… Sometimes we blame others… & still other times, we blame circumstances.

But we inevitably determine to get back up & try again in the way that seems best to us.

Suck It Up, Buttercup… Or Not

Life is hard. No one can go through life without struggle, without mistakes, without regrets.

Although we can brush it all off with a, “I have no regrets, only lessons learned!”… Deep down, we know things could have gone better, but they didn’t.

Have you ever felt trapped by wrong choices? Like they define you in some way now?

Have you ever bolstered yourself to be strong & bold in light of your mistakes, eager &/or desperate not to show weakness or vulnerability, while silently feeling the pain underneath the façade?

Do you ever get tired of trying to have it all together?

I do.

Survival of the Fittest

I don’t know where we ever got the idea that we have to have it all together. Maybe it’s instinctual not to show weakness or vulnerability. Maybe it’s stubborn pride, not wanting to admit defeat.

Whatever it is, it’s hard.

God is slowly teaching me how often I do what seems right in my own eyes, versus humbly bowing my actions, decisions, & feelings under His able care.

He’s Right There All Along

You see, we often wait until we’re falling apart to cry out to God for help, when He has been right alongside us the whole time.

We don’t have to have it all together. We don’t have to have all the answers or always get it right.

We are limited in our understanding, wisdom, strength… But He is not.

Doing What Is Right in Our Own Eyes

In studying through Psalm 107 recently, with a Bible Study called Steadfast Love, by Lauren Chandler, I was reminded over & over through that particular chapter how those people started out doing what was right in their own eyes way before they started openly rebelling.

Coincidence? I think not.

Why? Because when we go through life on auto-pilot, just doing what we think is best, we will inevitably not get it all right because we cannot ever see every facet of every particular circumstance.

We Want Him to Make OUR Plan Work

And the more times we mess up, the more difficult our lives get… & the more difficult our lives get, the more we wonder why God isn’t fixing it & wondering where He is in all of it….

And the more we doubt God, the more we feel slighted by God… & the more we feel slighted or neglected by God, the more we tend to rebel against God.

… Even though He was right there all along, offering His help along the way….

Instead of asking God to help us follow HIS WAY, we often only ask for Him to make OUR way work.

Learning to Trust Our Savior

But when we flip the script to NOT do what is right in our own eyes, but instead ask for Him to guide us in HIS way of doing things, we get to see HIM work miracles. We get to see His hand guiding & shaping & upholding & strengthening us along every step of the way.

And as we live, drawing constantly from His wisdom, His way, His strength, His power, His love… we see things fit into place much more nicely & we grow in trust when things don’t go well because of the sin of others around us. We get to rest in His ability to uphold & strengthen us with His peace.

And we’re much less likely to rebel when we are receiving His life flowing through our lives. The Vine to His branches.

We’re Meant to Live by His Design

You see, we’re not meant to live life in a way that seems right to us… We’re meant to ask our Designer, Creator God what HIS design for our lives is meant to be & to do our best to lean into Him as He guides the way on the greatest adventure of our lives.

We weren’t meant to just be born, survive, & then die.

We were meant for a purpose… to change lives… to love others intentionally… to shine hope into the darkness… to be an impactful force for good… to serve the Most High God, Creator of heaven & earth & Lover of our souls.

Baby Steps… Pray & Ask

If you are like me & you struggle to release the tight grip of the reins of your life, struggling to trust that God can do a better job with your life than you can… start by being honest with God in that fear.

Put a toe into the water. Ask God to help give you the courage to dive in. Ask Him to help you trust Him with the little things. Ask Him to help you have the wisdom & humility to seek His way above your own. Ask Him to have His potential of your life fleshed out through seeking Him. Ask Him to help you to know & love Him more EACH DAY. Ask Him to help you TRUST HIM.

I will tell you with all honesty that those prayers have been the most influential, life-changing, purpose-enlightening, peace-churning questions I have ever asked in my entire life.

He’s Got This… & You

He knows what He’s doing. He’s walking alongside you, waiting for you to plug into Him as the vine, so His life & wisdom & peace & love & grace & strength can flow through you & produce fruit that also nourishes those around you.

Will you connect to the Vine?

He is waiting to nourish you. He loves you too much to let you be content with an empty, tiresom façade.

He loves you.

Shine Hope, by plugging into Him as your source of hope!

Coming Soon

Check back on Thursday for our monthly Special Feature post, shared every last Thursday of the month! Will it be a poem? A short story? Tales of our adventures overseas? Come back Thursday to check!

Also, join me every Monday morning for your next post of encouragement as we learn together how to give our all to our God who gives His all for us.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Truth Earrings

These incredibly light earrings are made with genuine local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

(*Also Pictured: Sea Glass Necklace made in Jordan!*)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!