So Many Demands

The world we live in is so full of demands, isn’t it?

Whether it’s a job, errands, chores, mom-life, relationships, volunteer work, bills, etc., there’s a lot in life that demands our time, energy, & resources.

And when it comes to our relationship with God, sometimes it can seem like spending time with Him is just one more thing we are supposed to give our time, energy, &/or money to.

And sometimes, if we’re honest with ourselves, it feels like we only have our leftovers to offer Him, when all is said & done.

Sometimes, this reality gives us a sting of guilt & other times, the pressure of another demand seems crippling–especially one so important!

Another Way

But what if it’s meant to be different?

What if giving our time, energy, & resources to God actually gives us MORE time, energy, & resources to give to other things on the agenda?

Lucky for us, that’s exactly how it’s meant to work! God multiplies what we offer to Him of our time, energy, & resources!

I know, that may seem like religious mumbo jumbo to some of you. And some of you may have heard it in church, but still feel like the concept is so vague that you don’t really know how it actually is supposed to work out that way in reality.

That has been my sentiment for most of my life, if I’m being real with you.

Can It Be?

Growing up in church, I heard all of God’s promises at church, Sunday school, Bible studies, devotionals, Bible reading, etc. But they never really seemed anything more than a pleasant idea versus a solid reality I could count on.

Has anyone else ever felt that way?

Like it all sounds nice & we even memorize some of the verses with these nice ideas, but it never feels more than a nice idea.

But God wasn’t just giving us a Bible full of “look how nice all of these things sound!” No. He was writing to us, as GOD & Creator of this world, the truths about how He designed this world & how He promises to interact within it.

Have you ever thought about it that way?

He doesn’t just ask for our time, energy, & resources. He promises to help us make that happen AND give us a bigger return on our investment into growing His kingdom.

God Gives Us More Than We Can Give Him

Striving to have a fuller relationship with God can seem to put even more pressure on us, can’t it? Like we can barely hold together what we already are doing & then to feel like we have to give God even more than what’s left can seem like nothing more than a stress mess.

But here’s the cool part about it all, giving God our best really, actually helps us in every other way.

What we give to the world can seem to have little return on our investment, but what God gives in return far exceeds what we could ever dare to offer Him.

That’s the amazing thing about God.

He is limitless. He is infinite. He is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise.

Not Perfection, Just Trust

He doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He doesn’t expect us to earn His approval or love, but He does expect us to right our perspective when it’s gotten out of whack.

And this is one area that I feel is SO EASY to get out of whack—for all of us!!

It’s so easy to think of our relationship with Him as just another item on our to-do list.

But the true story is this, because God is limitless, infinite, all-powerful, all-knowing, & all-wise, His return on our investment is limitless!

Not in Our Strength, But His

The more time I personally spend reading the Bible, the more this truth becomes glaringly obvious—the confident, daring victories I read about in the Bible are not because these people were a cut above the rest of us.

No, they had doubts, weaknesses, insecurities, flaws, & failures just like anyone else!

So, what’s the difference then? Why does their life look so victorious, while mine is just fighting to get through another day?

The answer? They drew their strength & wisdom & power & confidence & peace from spending time with God versus trying to get through each day on their own!!

They were victors & conquerors in life BECAUSE they gave their BEST time, energy, focus, & resources to GOD! And in return, for their investment in God’s presence for His glory, God gave them strength, confidence, wisdom, power, peace, & etc. in return!

WOW!

Not a Sacrifice, But a Worthy Investment into God’s Kingdom

In those retellings of events in the Bible, giving God their best was not a sacrifice, it was an investment with God offering major returns!

Those victors knew they could trust God. And they acted on that trust!

They knew He was worthy of their all. So they gave their all!

They knew God’s love was genuine & unconditional & because of that, they went all in!

They weren’t always faithful, but God always was.

What they were willing to give, God gave much more in return.

And that same truth is true for us, too. It may seem like just one more drain on resources, time, or energy, when you already feel like you’re running on empty… But God always returns on what we invest.

Go All In!

So trust Him with your all!

Let HIM be your strength when all is failing.

Let HIM be your power when the odds seem unsurmountable.

Let HIM be your peace when despair beckons.

Let HIM be your confidence in the midst of your insecurities.

Let God in! Let God work! Go ALL in!

The Vine Of Life

Do not be content to be the lifeless, brittle, dry branch trying to live life your own way & in your own strength & wisdom— invest in your relationship with God & thus connect to the vine of life, Christ, who gives life & fulfillment & strength & joy & love & power to overcome!

He. Gives. LIFE.

Because He Loves Us So!

Remember that giving of our lives to Him is not guided by trying to earn His approval or to “be a good person”, but because we trust Him & His infinite love for us!

The more our life is centered on His love, the more of an outflow we will see of peace, patience, strength, wisdom, love, & confidence as we face the demands of this world.

It is so, so worth it!

But How?

How can you trust Him with more of your life? Here’s some quick tips:

1. Resources: God asks for a mere 10% of everything He provides, called “tithe”, but He challenges us to trust Him with even more. Our ability to work—our intelligence, strength, & natural abilities all come from Him, so offer back a portion to support your church in return. God never leaves you high & dry when you’re being generous for His purposes!
2. Time: Spend time reading the Bible to learn more about who God is & learn to pray throughout your day. Spending consistent time with him along the way will help right your focus/perspective & allow you insight on where you can be a blessing to others. This also allows you a direct lifeline to God’s strength, peace, & wisdom when you need it. He is infinite, so before you stress, ask God for His help! He’s ready & waiting!
3. Energy: Be involved in your church & encouraging others toward hope in Christ. Start a prayer circle for other moms or wives or singles. Volunteer at a nursing home, homeless shelter, or other cause to support & encourage those who are struggling. But remember, don’t just give to earn God’s favor—you already have that! Instead, be bowing your heart before God & asking Him to direct your efforts to the plans He has for you. He made you specifically you, so He knows where His design for you will best fit into His plan to offer hope, love, & light to a hurting world. Listen to His guidance.

Trust God with the Struggle

If you struggle with any of these, don’t forget to pray about it!

I often pray, when I hear a truth that I don’t know how to implement or put my full trust in, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!” Be willing to start there & to ask God to change you in ways that might be needed & ask His insight on how to make it happen.

Not in your wisdom, but His. Not in your strength/power, but HIS.

Bow your heart & any area that needs growth & then ask Him to show you how to grow & make sure to ask for His strength to make it happen! Trust Him—He is worth our all.

Shine Hope, Beautiful!!!!

Coming Next Week

I can’t wait to be with you next Monday morning EST for our next topic of encouragement.

PS. I am by no means perfect, so please pray alongside me that God will continue to grow me for the purposes of being a light to the world. I definitely don’t want to draw people to myself as the source of their hope, but to point them to the only source of true hope–Jesus!! That is my prayer for this blog & for my life. <3

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty

Bombolulu Earrings

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

New Year, New Possibilities

This time of year, many of us are excitedly planning for the new year.

Maybe you are setting your New Year’s Resolutions. Maybe, like me, you realize that those resolutions never seem to last further than February, so you are looking to set smaller goals towards those eventual goals.

On Thursday, I talked about the “One Small Change” Challenge. Basically, instead of setting major, vague goals, try taking baby steps toward the accomplishment of those goals (*Check out that post, “One Big Dream-One Small Change,” with suggestions on small change ideas, here.)

Whatever your plans (or lack of plans) for the new year, we all have a carried sense of areas of our life that could use improvement, am I right? I know that I recognize so many in my own life right now, for sure!

And above all, the greatest improvement we can make is to know & love our God more with each passing day, week, month, & year. (*Check out “The Greatest Prayer-To Know & Love God” post, here.)

The Tricky Subject

But wait a minute. This can be a pretty tricky subject.

I am sure, if you are like me, you may have heard many a sermon on “10 Ways to be a Better Christian.”

And maybe, if you’re also like me, you probably had already recognized many of those weaknesses within yourself & upon the sermon’s close, are now riddled with a sense of even greater disappointment & burden.

Sometimes, no matter how much you know you should change or how much you wish to change, you just don’t know HOW to be better, or where to start, or how to change… because your efforts always seem to fall flat.

The Solution We Need

Well, have no fear, because I have found a solution that will ease those fears, shame & worries away, while also bringing about those changes that you see are needed!

As I said, THERE IS HOPE.

God makes it happen-Not you.

Let me explain….

The Book That Unveiled Truth

I read a book a couple years ago, written by Andrew Murray (translated into English), called “Andrew Murray on Prayer”, a collection of his works. 

His words of wisdom changed the ENTIRE course of my life when it comes to failing at change.

COMPLETELY. ENTIRELY.

Mind you, it wasn’t HIS wisdom, but rather his teaching on GOD’S wisdom that forever changed me.

Here’s the magic key. (*Please read his collection for yourself, because he speaks much more eloquently & succinctly than I do!) The magic key is God.

Not on Our Own

Now wait a minute!! We are supposed to be doing these things FOR God… To be BETTER for God…. So how is HE the key to make that happen?

You see, God gave grace for free. We are not asked to now pay off our debt. (*Hint: We can’t!) We are all limited, finite, & prone to weakness & mistakes.

We CAN’T change ourselves on our own.

Only God can.

For God, By God, Through God

Andrew Murray’s writings helped me to see that every time God asks something of us, He includes, “by faith”, “through faith”, “by God”, or “through God,” with His request.

The pattern? When He asks something of us, He doesn’t expect us to measure up to be good enough or strong enough or wise enough or diligent enough to complete the tasks.

He simply asks us to trust HIS “enoughness” to make them happen!

He asks. He provides everything we need to fulfill those requests. And we just do. We let Him be the power, wisdom, & strength behind everything & we just do.

Lay It All Down

So, listen to me with this… Take all of that burden from your tired, aching shoulders, & place it on His.

REST in Him. Choose what is “BETTER“.

The Key–Strive to Know & Love God More & Trust HIM

Remember how I brought up the “Greatest Prayer”—to know & love God?

THAT is the key.

THAT is the key to EVERYTHING.

You see, God doesn’t ask us to take our yoke & then ask Him to help us carry it, with our plans & attempts to be better & good & everything else.

He asks us to take up HIS yoke. His plans, His ways, His goals for us, His path. Not ours.

“Come unto me, all you that labor & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest.

Take My yoke upon you, & learn of me; for I am meek & lowly in heart: & you shall find rest for your souls.

For my yoke is easy, & my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

We may mean well & want to please Him, which is an AWESOME thing to desire, but we must learn to desire HIM first & to learn to bow everything else before Him, trusting Him to shape us, guide us, & grow us in His timing, His ways, His wisdom, & HIS POWER.

Be Everything VS Trust God in Everything

I heard a friend share about the Proverbs 31 Woman. (*Some of you are eye-rolling right now, feeling completely lacking compared to this woman we all marvel at, but hear me out.) My friend shared a unique angle I had never heard taught before.

She shared the qualities of the Proverbs 31 Woman in clear detail, covering all of her amazing qualities & characteristics to a group of high school girls.

She finished this discussion with a list of all of them, bulleted plainly, to show all of them.

The girls began furiously taking notes, knowing that they should or wanted to be this type of woman for God.

But then, my friend did something that struck me so powerfully that it has stuck clearly in my heart to this day. She put a giant X through the list & told the class not to write a single word of it down.

What?!

Of course, we all, including myself, looked around, confused. We wanted to please God like that woman! We wanted to prove our dedication & love to Him by learning to emulate the Proverbs 31 Woman. We wanted to be enough for God! We wanted to be good enough.

But then, she followed with words similar to these, “Don’t write down that list. Imagine that list as a bunch of spinning plates. You are trying to balance each plate as it spins, focusing & stressing to keep those plates steady & spinning, all simultaneously. You drop one, two, five. They break.

You feel panicked, trying to measure up, trying to keep going. Trying to be good enough for God. But you keep failing. You are growing more weary. More dejected.

Instead, spin ONE plate—learning to know & love God more every day. Girls, as you strive to do that, God will guide you through everything else.

God doesn’t expect perfection upon salvation. He expects our love & trust in His ability to change & shape us into that woman in His timing. Give yourself grace & trust fully in GOD’S GRACE. He. Is. ENOUGH.”

Wow.

(*And now you know the story that inspired “The Greatest Prayer-To Know & Love God” post.)

The Common Thread

You see, the common thread between Andrew Murray’s writings & my friend’s Bible lesson is letting God be the orchestrator of change in your life.

Don’t strain to be good enough for God. Rest in the fact that God is good enough for you—more than GOOD enough.

Rest in Him. Get to know Him. Learn to love Him more each passing day.

Cross It Out, Lay It Down, Lean into God

So, take your list & cross it out. Or rather, lay it at God’s feet.

Tell Him, “Lord, Father, Almighty God… These are things I know I want to improve, but You know me. You know me better than I know myself. You, God, know how best to lead me. Guide me where YOU want ME to change. And give me wisdom on HOW to change, on steps to take, on where to learn modeled behavior that honors you for THAT area. Give me YOUR strength to make it happen. Give me YOUR power to see it through. You are enough & I trust Your guidance & growth in me, so help me see it through Your way, Your timing, & Your will. AMEN.”

He Is Faithful

One of my goals, for many years, was to read my Bible consistently & not just rely on “tweetable” verses or chapters used in studies I was going through. I knew God was pressing on me to improve in this, but I wasn’t trusting Him with the change or the how.

And today, I will be finishing my last two chapters in Revelation to complete my read through of the Bible for the second time!! And this time, diligently within the year of 2018!

I didn’t read every day & I allowed myself grace. But also, on days where I had a headache or was sick or distracted or busy, where I felt I just couldn’t read that day, I would stop & pray & ask God to give me clarity of thought from distractions or haziness from headaches/colds & ask God to give me strength to stay awake & alert enough to read before bed.

I wouldn’t give up if I didn’t feel His help right away, but would wait & rest in Him, knowing that He would give me the strength & clarity I needed to complete a task which honors Him—knowing Him more.

He always provided. He was faithful to help me make it happen 100% of the time, without fail.

He Provides His

God doesn’t ask us to honor Him with our time & efforts on our OWN strength, power, or wisdom. He provides His.

So, if you have something that you know you need to do that would honor Him, ask for His help in doing it. Don’t exhaust yourself doing it on your own.

He doesn’t ask us to prove our love to Him through tasks. He loves us & because God loves us, when we submit to Him, He offers His power & His wisdom to accomplish what He asks.

Not your ability, but His.

Trust Him. It’s definitely worth it, 100% of the time!!

Let Him be God.

Don’t think about all of the things you should be willing to give up. Think of all the ways He provides: peace, strength, contentment, rest, joy, love, etc.

He. Is. Enough. 100% & beyond.

Through God. By God. For God.

Trust His “enoughness.” Trust His plan. Trust His know-how. Trust His love for you.

Trust His everything.

Coming Next Week

Join me next week, on Monday EST, for some more encouragement!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Truth Earrings

These incredibly light earrings are made with genuine local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Know It. Believe It. Stand Firm in It.

As we draw nearer to Christmas, I think it’s important to know the things God says we can count on Him for.

Hard times, stress, grief, & other areas of strain do not take a break for Christmas, so we need to be prepared to know how to lean on the One who is above it all.

I am not ignorant of living in stress or anxiety. It can be easy for me to allow that pair to rule my life, if I let them.

And sometimes they seem to scream at me to let them rule me.

But God gives us promises that we can lean on & stand firm in in any situation, so I think it’s important to remind ourselves of those Truths constantly & daily.

Not Like Ours… BETTER

You see, God’s promises are not like ours.

We are fickle. We forget. We change our minds. We sometimes hold grudges & act accordingly (whether we intend to or not).

We are fallible. We are limited.

But God is not. He is infallible & unlimited.

He is also faithful, kind, patient, & He totally & completely loves us regardless of whether we think we are deserving.

He is steadfast. He is all-knowing & never forgets anything past, present, or future. He doesn’t go back on a promise. He doesn’t act out of spite, but always out of love.

When God gives us a promise, listen up carefully, because it will be something we can “take to the bank”, as the saying goes. In other words, we mustn’t read His promises as if they are something that COULD happen, but rather, something that WILL DEFINITELY happen.

He keeps His Word. Period.

Just Say No. And Trust God.

So, when Satan tries to bash you with lies & overwhelm you with doubts & fears & hurt & anger & bitterness & etc. etc. etc., turn to God’s Truth so you know how to knock each blow with an effective block.

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:13) (Emphasis added.)

(*Check out the rest of Ephesians 6 to know what God says when He mentions the “full armor of God”.–God provides everything we need when we’re trusting in Him!!)

Know His Word… And Pray

This is one reason why knowing God’s Word is so incredibly valuable for us. Knowing God’s Word makes us stronger because we can stand firm in Truth. We don’t have to waver.

We don’t have to doubt. We aren’t easily knocked down.

Knowing His Word is so important!

But be careful to also be spending time talking with God & growing a personal relationship with Him, through prayer. (*Read more about “The Greatest Prayer-To Know & Love God” in last week’s post, here!)

If you remember, the devil even tried to tempt Jesus using God’s Word! (*Read that account in Matthew 4.) It obviously didn’t work, but it’s a lesson to us that simply knowing the Truth is not enough. We need to also be spending time with God in prayer, growing in understanding & discernment.

(*Read more about what prayer actually accomplishes, here.)

Let’s Remember Some Promises We Can Stand On

So, this week, I am going to be spending some time sharing about some of the promises of God so that we can stand firm against the lies of this world. (Lies are always authored by the devil.)

God is the author of Truth, so let’s check out a few of the things He has to tell us.

There are so many promises I could touch on today, but for the sake of brevity, I will only touch on a few.

This week, I will share about God’s sovereignty as well as His promises to:

1. Heal the broken-hearted
2. Be our refuge & our strength
3. Give wisdom to those who seek Him
4. Be our “Enough”
5. Redeem us at our worst

God Is Sovereign

God’s Sovereignty runs through everything we are talking about today, because simply put, He is ENOUGH. He is our All in all. He is our Creator, Sustainer, & Redeemer. He is Beginning & End. What He says, goes. He is the Author of Truth & Life & Love & HOPE. He. Is. GOD.

And so, in everything we talk about today (& every day), we can rest confident that what God says will happen, every single time, no matter what, always. Nothing can thwart Him.

He IS.

As Colossians 1:17 aptly puts it, “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”

(*If you want a *One Page* summary of verses to describe *God’s Sovereignty*, check out this post by All About God, here. **Disclaimer, I have not checked the legitimacy of Truth on this entire site, but this page is legit & Scripture-soaked in goodness!)

God Heals the Broken-Hearted

So, for our first promise to cover for today, God tells us that, among other things, one mission of His is to bind up/heal the broken-hearted.

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
Because the LORD has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;….” (Isaiah 61:1) (emphasis added)

He doesn’t just want to simply help you cover up old wounds, He wants to bring healing. He CAN bring healing.

He is in the business of restoration.

So, let Him, Darling One.

If you have an ache that can’t be soothed, a scar that cannot seem to stop mocking you, or a grief big or small, God sees you. He sees your hidden hurting.

And He loves you so much.

Let Him Heal… Lean Into Him

Do you feel Him beckoning you into His arms? It’s not your imagination. He is not a figment of your imagination. He is real & He is faithful & He is calling to heal you.

He comes to us to heal our broken hearts & to refresh & renew us after big hurts (& little ones), as we let Him.

He knows you deeply, inside & out. He loves you the same way.

So, if that describes you (even for those background, nagging hurts that you try to convince yourself aren’t there or that you can “handle them.”), lean into Him & ask for His healing.

Don’t put all the weight of that burden on yourself, Darling. Dump it in His willing, loving, able arms & let Him wrap you up in comfort & love & healing.

God Is Our Refuge & Our Strength

This carries into our second promise to cover in this post, from Psalm 46:1-3, 7:

“God is our refuge & strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though its waters roar & be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling. Selah…
… The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah” (Emphasis added.)

Not only does God promise to heal our hurts, He also promises to be a refuge for us in times of troubles.

When we fear, when we tremble, when we worry… We can lean into Him & count on Him because He Is Enough.

He Gives Perfect Wisdom

Promise number three for today is that God gives wisdom to those who seek Him for it.

Matthew 7:7-8 says: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Emphasis added.)

And James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (Emphasis added.)

When faced with trials, temptation, anxiety, etc., we can always turn to God for the best answers to our questions.

We must remember that this does not mean asking God to confirm what we already want to believe, so we may feel justified in our own wisdom, but rather to lay aside our earthly wisdom in exchange for His Perfect Truth & Wisdom.

Do you want actual truth? Or do you just want validation to believe what you want to believe?

As says Isaiah 55, “His ways our higher than our ways.” We must learn to lay our wisdom down in exchange for asking God to fill us with His unfailing wisdom.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways My ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9) (Emphasis added.)

His Word never fails. We can count on it. It’s worth the trade a million times over to exchange our will & way for His. Every time.

So, seek His wisdom. Seek TRUTH. And you WILL find it in Him. Keep ASKING!

His “Enoughness”

Promise number 4 really puts everything into perspective. Stress, anxiety, fear… all of it cannot stand up to the “Enoughness” of God.

He is Sufficient. In EVERYTHING.

With every command or instruction He gives, it comes with His power to make it happen.

He doesn’t expect us to become super humans or decrepit slaves in order to obey Him.

He showers us with grace, lavishes love upon us, calls us forgiven & redeemed, & THEN gives us everything we need in order to accomplish anything He asks.

What an awesome deal!!!

And what does He ask? Well, He says that every commandment hinges on just two…

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart & with all your soul & with all your mind. This is the first & greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law & the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:36-40) (Emphasis added.)

You see, so many of us get stressed out & wiped out simply by trying to be enough in everything, all the time.

We fail. We fall. And we despair.

We try harder. We try to be better. We fall again.

Some grow numb to serving God simply to protect themselves. While others tirelessly keep working in an effort to ever improve in this cycle.

But God is Enough. Not us. We aren’t meant to be enough. Because He IS.

“Grace & peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God & of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life & godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory & virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great & precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.” (2 Peter 1:2-4) (Emphasis added.)

God is enough. His power is able.

Don’t rush around trying to be the “enough” that you need so desperately. Rest in HIS.

He Redeems

And last, but certainly not least, He promises us the greatest promise of all….

…”if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord & believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes & is justified, & with the mouth one confesses & is saved.” (Romans 10:9) (Emphasis added.)

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) (Emphasis added.)

The best Christmas gift you can ever receive is Jesus Christ.

He fills you. He fulfills you. He comforts you. He heals you. He gives you peace & rest. He provides strength. He gives His power to do every good work. He is your ENOUGH. He loves you with everlasting, abiding, unwavering, tenacious love. He never gives up on you. He forgives. He renews. He loves. He is faithful. His promises are Truth.

So, bow your heart, Beautiful One & let Him in.

Merry Christmas!!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next week on Monday morning EST for more encouragement. Love you, Lady!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Petal Necklace (& Petal Stud Earrings)

This cubic zirconia floral pendant hangs from an antique golden chain & pairs perfectly with the Petal Stud Earrings.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Easy Isn’t Always Best

We all appreciate a good laugh, but should those laughs be at the expense of the church?

I know that it is easy for us sometimes to see the way it *should* be, biblically, & take jabs at the obvious differences we see in many churches across America.

Satire is a striking way to contrast these differences that we recognize & since we cannot address every church who is a culprit of specific misrepresentations of Christ, it can be tempting to try a light-hearted approach to speak out, such as satire.

But is this the best approach?

Imperfect, But Loved by God

Is the Church (in general) perfect? By all means, no. The Church is made up of flawed human beings. As we surrender certain areas of our lives for God to perfect & grow, God works in us, but we do not become perfect just because we have submitted ourselves to Him.

Will the Church ever be perfect? Only when we reach heaven.

Is it frustrating to have the imperfections of the Church on display for every passerby who may not know the difference of what should be, according to God’s Word, the Bible? YES!

But that does not necessarily mean we should turn to poking jabs at the church.

His Bride

Let’s look at it in this light… The Church (as a whole—aka all Christians) is considered the “Bride of Christ.”

On Earth, Christ’s Bride, the Church, is imperfect… but the blood of Christ has redeemed her & has made her whole & new. His blood covers her offenses. Christ died to redeem her life.

So how do you think it feels for Christ to see His bride mocked openly to the general public?

Easy But Not Necessarily Right

Yes, I know this may seem like I just don’t know how to take a joke, but even though I have had a laugh at some of the satirical sites’ posts, the laugh is followed quickly by a cringe of regret.

Sometimes it is easy to laugh at a situation, like when someone makes a big, obvious mistake, but that does not mean we necessarily should be laughing at it, for the sake of whose feelings it might hurt.

We Are His-Imperfections & All

We may not understand exactly what it means, but God describes Himself as the Godhead, three in one–God the Father, God the Son, & the Holy Spirit.

God loves His children. We, as Christians, are called God’s dear children. He sees our imperfections. He knows our weaknesses & mistakes. He feels the hurt of our rebellions. And yet, He still sent Christ to die for us.

Christ loves His Bride. We, as part of the Church, are called His bride. He also sees our imperfections. He knows our weaknesses & mistakes. He personally feels the hurt of our rebellions. And yet, He still willingly laid down His life to redeem us.

The Holy Spirit was sent to us after Christ rose from the dead & conquered both sin & death, to guide & comfort us. The Holy Spirit does not force perfection on us immediately. He does not demand the abolishment of every imperfection, weakness, mistake, & rebellion in exchange for the grace gifted by Christ. But, He still continues to gently, patiently guide & lovingly care for us along the way.

Edify & Lift Others Up Where Others Tear Down

You see, we as: children of God, the bride of Christ, & guided by the Holy Spirit, will never be perfect on this side of heaven, but God fiercely loves us & works in & through us with His grace, patience, & long-suffering ALL THE SAME.

God, three in one, IS love.

Instead of focusing on everything wrong in the Church, even if mocking how wrong it is, we should be looking to edify, teach, & lead in Truth & Love.

Instead of preaching to the world everything about the modern church which is incorrect, let us live a demonstration of what God says is correct.

Shine a Light – A Beacon of HOPE

Because, you see, aside from hurting God’s heart, the other danger in using the church as the focus of satirical jokes/mockery is the impact it can have on the Church’s testimony of Christ to this lost & bleeding world.

If the world sees us mocking ourselves, how can they be expected to take us seriously?

We may see the difference between should-be & “is”, but all they see are jokes about what is wrong with Church.

We may see the contrast between God’s definition of the Church & where many churches fall short, but the world only sees our wrongs, mistakes, & inconsistences.

How can we expect the world to trust our testimony, our witness of God’s Truth, Love, & life-changing Grace, if we ourselves mock the Church?

Be a Conduit for Change

But you’re right, we should take a stand. We should speak up. When we see errors in the church, we need to do our part to point the Church into God’s will & Truth.

So how do we do that, if not satire?

Here are some ideas that come to mind.

1. Pray & ask God for wisdom.

Sometimes we’re actually the one in the wrong, but pride has clouded our judgement. It’s important to stop & ask God for His clarification & wisdom before we act on what could be our mistake. A simple misunderstanding on our part can cause embarrassment if we don’t take it to God in prayer first!

Other times, we are correct in our assessment, but we can tend to jump into it with our own imperfect wisdom & ideas while neglecting to take a moment & ask God how to handle the situation in a way that best honors Him & will most effectively correct the situation.

We need to make sure we not only try to help solve the problem, but that we handle it in a gracious, loving way that edifies those involved while also giving honor & glory to God. (*This probably means avoiding blasting your frustrations on social media.)

2. Send an email to the church pastor with your concerns, or schedule a time to talk to him.

It’s always a good idea to go to your pastor one-on-one through email or by scheduling a meeting to discuss your concerns, rather than spreading dissension in the church with your frustrations.

It could turn out to be a misunderstanding, or it could provide opportunity for the pastor’s heart to be stirred to pray for change. Be respectful, but don’t be afraid of discussing your concerns in order to bring God further glory.

Sometimes, the pastor may have gotten caught up being passionate about something & maybe unintentionally misquoted Scripture.

Other times, he may not even be aware of the problem.

And it can even happen that with trying, with good intentions, to accomplish too much, the Church has simply gotten off track & needs a chance to refocus their efforts for the glory of God.

Always pray before meeting or before sending that email!

3. Don’t bash the Church passive-aggressively through social media, friends, or family.

Mistakes happen in the Church. Seeing your own imperfections coupled with God’s relentless love for you should stir in you a sense of graciousness to the mistakes of the Church.

Instead of complaining (which stirs more discontentment but doesn’t actually solve anything),  we should work toward being the solution we see is needed.

Show grace for mistakes & weaknesses.

If it is a serious deviation from Scripture, like the prosperity gospel, for example, we should seek Christian counsel from a mature believer, pray, & seek God’s Word on how we should proceed.

4. If you have received confirmation & peace from God, have followed His leading to help solve the issue, & spoken with the pastor, with no change in sight, maybe it’s time to move on & separate yourself.

This is not speaking to those of us who may get upset at everything we disagree with or don’t particularly like about a church, but to those who genuinely are seeking the Lord for His guidance, wisdom, & will to strive for God’s glory in that situation.

If a church is unwilling to make changes in order to stay in line with Scriptural guidelines, sometimes it is best to remove ourselves from that situation completely.

Satan often disguises himself as an angel of light–in other words, he makes it sound right, but it is so twisted with lies that it becomes a death trap to those who fall into his trap.

Some “churches” are following twisted truth in an effort to make Christianity more appealing to the masses.  While maybe intending to mean well, they are actually leading people away from God.

Know the Truth, Stand for the Truth

Always be diligent in prayer & reading God’s Word, the Bible, so you may have discernment on what is Truth versus what is a lie disguised as Truth. Stay away from “churches” that preach the latter.

If the church is willing to change & refocus to God’s glory, but is struggling, it is important to pray & seek God’s guidance about what part you can play in making that change happen, in order for the church to realign itself with the Truth of God’s Word & see that God gets the glory.

Vague-But Pointing Back to God As the Answer We Need

I am intentionally leaving out specifics because I cannot tell you the perfect go-to answer for every situation. I can only point you to the guidance of God’s Word combined with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

God’s guidance in every particular situation is the only way that is ever flawless in its approach, effective in its follow-through, & deserving of the glory.

So, pray & read His Word.

Don’t Settle

Don’t settle for complaints & passive-aggressive frustrations bubbling underneath or poured out online. Don’t rely on others to speak up. Be a member of the Body of Christ. Speak up & be a part of the change.

You are a member of Christ’s Bride, the Church. Find your part. Seek God’s face.

Let His Truth & Love guide your every decision & motive.

Be the change & Shine HOPE, Beautiful!

Coming Soon

Stay tuned for THIS Thursday morning EST! This week is our monthly Special Feature post (every last Thursday of the month). This is my chance to share something a little different than normal, so make sure you “Join My Tribe” so you don’t miss it!!

Next Monday morning, EST, the next blog post will be up, so make sure to check back then! I look forward to hopefully encouraging you & urging you further into God’s loving arms!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternity Necklace

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Multiple mix metal chains are hugged by a metal curved tube to create this simple yet elegant piece with a lobster clasp closure.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & they grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

What Does it Mean?

The Bible talks a lot about prayer, so what does prayer mean, why does it matter so much to God, & what does it actually accomplish?

I Thessalonians 5:17 is just two simple words, “Pray continually,” or, as other translations put it, “pray without ceasing,” but what does that actually mean? Are we supposed to pray through every waking moment? Pretty much.

Now wait, before you go thinking something along the lines of, “but what about when I am sleeping? Or doing something else? Or concentrating on something important? How am I supposed to be expected to never cease praying?

In All Things

Now here’s one thought—think about this for a moment. Do you usually have inner dialogue with yourself—Thinking, problem solving, creating, visualizing, dreaming, etc.?

Now imagine this, God sees all of what goes through your mind—at all times. He hears your thoughts constantly. He knows everything about you, even to a subconscious level!

So why not include Him in your thoughts, problem solving, creating, visualizing, dreaming, etc.?

Just Add God

AS thoughts role through your mind, talk to God instead of to yourself. He is a faithful friend & a kind Father, waiting to spend quality time with you.

AS you are thinking through a problem, ask Him to give you wisdom & insight, because He is infinitely wise.

AS you are creating, ask for His inspiration, because He is infinitely creative! Think of all the unique qualities in just the human population alone & the intricacies of the human body. Envision God’s masterpieces in nature like clouds, flowers, snow, mountains, animals, etc.! He is creative!

AS you are visualizing & dreaming, ask for God’s input & thank Him for allowing such beauty & vastness to be imagined in just our minds!

God is pretty amazing at being God. He is humble & kind & loving. He is faithful. He is infinitely wise & creative!

We’re just asked to invite Him into the conversation. Let Him lead you with His able hands &His  loving care for you.

Why Does God Care Whether We Pray?

So why does it matter so much to God that we pray? Doesn’t He already know everything we’re thinking without us telling Him?

Well, yes. But….

To help us grasp an aspect of why prayer matters to God, I once heard the illustration of a child & her mother.

Imagine with me that the child’s teacher calls home every day & tells the mother everything that happened to their child that day, in every detail they could recall… When the child returns home, the mother then inquires about her daughter’s day, only to be met with a hurried, short answer, eager to run off & play.

The mother already knew the answer to her own questions, but she longed to connect with her daughter. How do you think it felt to be snubbed by the child you adore so much? (Maybe some moms already know the feeling from experience!)

Because God Cares About You

You see, not only is it POSSIBLE to pray continually, taking all of our concerns & cares to God, & even though God already knows EVERYTHING before we even tell Him… God WANTS to hear from us. He WANTS connection & relationship with us. He LOVES you!

Maybe we are stressed, anxious, afraid, hurting, etc. God already knows.

But our Loving Father–God– gives rest, peace, strength, power, & protection to those who seek Him out.

He will never force unwanted attention on us, but He will willingly pour it out to those who seek Him.

He wants to comfort you. He wants to figuratively hold you safe in His fortress of protection against the pain in this world. He wants to lift us up to soar like an eagle above the fray. He wants to give us rest.

All He asks is for us to come to Him & talk to Him & ask for His help, guidance, direction, wisdom, strength, hope, peace, love, joy, etc.

What’s the Big Deal?

But what does prayer even accomplish?

First of all, one of the biggest things I have noticed is that the more I pray, the more I feel His presence & peace in my life.

When we don’t pray, God is still working, but we are so distracted scrambling through each moment, too absorbed in our day-to-day chaos to even notice His presence sometimes.

Sometimes, we feel so caught up in our world that we feel like He has vanished & left us to our scramble of chaos.

But when we pray over specific things throughout the day that cause us worry or strain or even a cry for comfort, we are allowing God to show off His love for us.

Instead of His actions being vague, unnoticed background noise to our chaos, they become the foreground in a beautiful display of love & affection for us.

He Longs to Pour Love on Us Continually

It’s sort of like someone following you around trying to give you flowers & chocolates & hugs of comfort & kind words of affection… but we are juggling so much that we keep saying, “yeah yeah, not now,” without noticing their kind gestures for even a moment.

Allow God to permeate your day. Allow time to stop & receive His kind gestures of love & affection. Allow His infinite wisdom to guide & direct you through the crazy. Allow His strength to give you peace in the struggle.

He is constantly trying to show you Himself, so take time to pray through it all & allow Him room to show off His love for you. Allow Him to show you all that He is capable of in the midst of your life.

Prayer lets us see Him work. Prayer gives credit where credit is due–to God–& shines a light of “obviousness” to His workings day-to-day.

Let God Lead, Let God Shine

Allow your burdens to fall at His feet, letting Him be shown off to everyone around you, through your life. Let Him do the leading.

Maybe you have been like me & you have prayed constantly about something for which your heart ached & desired (my recent personal examples are asking to be comfortable & less lonely overseas & also for a child these past 5.5 years).

Maybe you have prayed so many times with no answer that you even feel bitter about praying even once more about it. (Definitely been there!)

Maybe you feel forgotten & hurt by God for allowing a painful situation to happen to you. (Definitely been there, too!)

But listen to me, Beautiful. God cares about you still. He CARES about you more than you can even wrap your head around. And He definitely hasn’t forgotten you & He is definitely NOT mocking you.

God hears you.

God Doesn’t Promise Easy

But listen to this as well, God tells us something that is vital to understand while living on this Earth…

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Notice the phrase, “in this world you WILL have trouble.” (Emphasis added.) God never promises this life will be easy. In fact, He tells us just the opposite.

In this world, there is sin. We are born as sinners. Sin exists & sin hurts.

We are not immune from feeling the affects of sin.

But, God

But God also has another important thing to say in that verse—“But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

You see, He will not promise that you will never face pain or struggle, but He does promise countless times, in the Bible, that He will comfort & strengthen us as we trust in Him… as we PRAY & ask Him to guide us & comfort us along the way.

Learn & Grow & Pray with Effectiveness!

We won’t always get our way, & sometimes that is simply because we aren’t asking the right question.

That is why, along with prayer, we should be learning who God is & what He promises us.

Because God KEEPS His promises 100% of the time & we can pray them with full trust that He will answer us as He promises!

In My Unanswered Prayers, God Worked WONDERS!

In my unanswered prayer for comfort overseas, God taught me that although I am weak & prone to bitterness/wandering from Him, His grace sustains me & His grace covers all of my failings!

In my unanswered prayer to have children these past almost 6 years, God has shown me that I can be fruitful for the next generation by pouring hope into other women who will in turn pass that hope onto all of THEIR children! God KNOWS my heart!!

When I thought He was ignoring me or leaving my prayers unanswered, He was still working. He was waiting for me to trust Him, lay my desires at His throne, & request of Him that His opinion & His guidance take authority over my own earthly wisdom.

He Offers Us So Much More Than We Ask!

He offers us joy in suffering, comfort in trials, strength in weakness & so much more.

So, as we learn more about who His is & what He promises us, through reading & studying His Word to us—the Bible, we can reach out & take claim of those!

We will learn how to pray more effectively the more we know Him & His promises.

Not Today, Satan!

Don’t let Satan trick you into believing that prayer is only before meals, quick & distracted by the lure of warm food. Don’t let him trick you into thinking prayer is only this formal ritual that must be performed or spoken a certain way.

God is with us always. He hears our thoughts. He knows you. So just TALK to Him!

Even in your thoughts, learn to have a conversation with Him throughout your day, letting Him in on your activities & ideas, asking for His direction & wisdom.

And if you struggle or feel resistance, don’t you dare let the devil make you think it ends there—prayer honors God, so claim that Truth & ask God to grow you in prayer! And keep asking!

The more you pray & ask God to help you learn to pray, the more God fans that flame & grows that seed of your desire to know Him.

What Can Prayer Do?

Prayer just means talking to God—out loud or in your thoughts.

Prayer matters because it’s how we see God work & it grows our relationship with Him because He cares so much for us.

Prayer accomplishes SO much because it transfers our worries & cares & struggles & insecurities & weakness to His infinite Love, Wisdom, Strength, Power, & ENOUGHness.

He fills us. He fulfills us. He guides & directs us. He comforts us. He protects us. He listens to us. He LOVES us!

So, talk to Him, Beautiful!

Start the conversation & SHINE HOPE!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning at 6am EST for more encouragement!

Also, next week will feature this month’s Special Feature post, shared every last Thursday of the month. This is my chance to share with you something a little different than the usual, so you can see a different side of me. Sometimes I share short stories, sometimes poetry, other times I will share about life in Japan, etc., so make sure to check it out!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Empowering Women in Jordan & India Out of Poverty!

This necklace features a silver-plated chain with a sea glass charm. *Sizes & colors of glass vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. These men balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles.

Because of their cleanup efforts of the beaches at the Red Sea, these women now upcycle glass from local restaurants. The glass is then tumbled with water & sand from the Red Sea.

Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Let’s Shine Some Light in the Dark

Hello there, Beautiful.

Let’s take an opportunity to see things in new light. Let’s shine hope into a desperate situation. Let’s walk away from this with a new sense of hope for each new day, together.

Maybe…

If you are like me, maybe you feel a child-shaped hole in your heart.

Maybe you have spent countless hours with tears streaming your face, wondering why you can’t seem to have this child that your heart aches for so longingly.

Maybe you feel hurt by God, that maybe He is punishing you for your past or that maybe He just doesn’t trust you with a child.

Maybe you tell yourself you don’t need kids, just so that the bitter sadness doesn’t keep you from living each day. Maybe some days you realize this thing you tell yourself is a lie, & you cry.

Maybe you beg & plead & wonder if God can hear you.

Maybe you feel forgotten.

Maybe you feel as if your prayers go ignored or denied.

Maybe you wonder if God cares about this child-shaped hole in your heart.

Maybe.

If you are anything like me, a combination of all of those thoughts have drifted into or settled into your heart & mind.

This Doesn’t Feel Perfect

Maybe, like me, you have even felt guilt for being mad at God, for feeling like maybe He doesn’t care about your hurting heart. Maybe you feel guilt at your distrust in His plan.

You know He is perfect. You know His will is perfect. You know He is Good & He is Love.

And yet, this doesn’t feel perfect. This doesn’t feel good or loving at all.

And maybe that realization hurts your heart a little more than you’re willing to admit out loud.

Hope in the Darkness

But, Dear one, there is hope in the midst of this darkness. I promise you that.

I have been on a five-year journey of these emotions & thoughts plaguing the back of my mind. I have had five years of denial that my bitterness has grown in this hole in my heart, in place of trust in God’s perfect will, plan, Goodness, & love.

I don’t know if I am barren. I am told that everything looks good & we are cleared by the doctors for having a baby, & yet five years of attempts have left us childless.

I have had tests & ultrasounds & taken supplements to help… & yet nothing.

I have obsessed over temperature charting & ovulation testing… & yet nothing.

I have cried & begged God to answer my heart’s cry… & yet nothing.

For God’s Glory

I even wanted a child for the main purpose of raising them to be a light of God’s hope into this world… wanting to glorify God & train the child(ren) how to live a life that honors & glorifies Him so that hope will continue flowing into the next generation, long after I am gone… & yet nothing.

I have felt betrayed by a seeming lack of God’s love & favor. Watching my friends pop kids out continually while I am left… the barren woman.

I am able to push aside my hurt most often to celebrate the new lives being born into the homes of my family & friends, but the ache still lingers.

God Shines Light into the Darkness

But here is the hope, Beautiful one.

In reading through the current Bible study I am attending weekly (& working through the corresponding homework each day for the study), I came across something I had never seen before.

The study is Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free.”

The Dreams of Little Girls

In this particular study book, Beth Moore has a whole week dedicated to the dreams of little girls: to get married, be beautiful, have children (or, be fruitful), & to live happily ever after.

That pretty much nails it on the head for all of my girlhood dreams.

But here was her point… each of us have these childhood dreams that we long(ed) for, but that God can satisfy infinitely more than this world can.

Just a Shadow

It is a shadow of the deeper longing of our hearts. It is a hint of what God already promises us.

To get married–we want to feel loved & special & wanted… God fulfills this by loving & cherishing us more than we can ever comprehend. If you don’t believe me, He tells us it’s true & He will show you… Just have faith enough to ask Him to.

To feel beautiful—He thinks we are gorgeous because He created us! And when our time comes, as believers in Christ, to go to heaven, He sees us as His beautiful bride! (also satisfying our marriage desire).

To live happily ever after—(I am purposely skipping to have children (be fruitful) until the end)—but to live happily ever after points to the fact that this earthly existence is merely our temporary home. Sin has marred this world, but heaven will be amazing & beyond imagination! No tears! No sadness! Only joy & love & peace. A TRUE happily ever after!

To Have Children (Or, Be Fruitful)

And back to our childhood dream to have children (or, to be fruitful).

And this really struck me with God’s amazing provision & plan. It showed me His will & Goodness really is perfect. And His love is lacking NOTHING. Praise God!

In Beth’s section about dreaming to have children, Beth spoke to my soul by spending a majority of the lesson addressing barrenness.

There is Hope

Beth didn’t shy away from the hurt that comes with barrenness, but she did point to Scripture & the amazing reality that God has not forgotten us in our temporary (or permanent) inability to have children.

Beth started by having us read about Elizabeth. The Bible called Elizabeth a righteous woman, followed immediately with the fact that “& she was barren.” (Check it out in Luke 1:5-7.)

Then, Mrs. Moore paralleled the Old & New Testaments’ discussion on being fruitful. In the Old Testament, fruitfulness referred to making lots of babies, while in the New Testament, it often referred to being fruitful as spreading your faith in order to lead others to become new Christ-believers!

You see, while God mentions many times how children are a blessing from God & how they are gifts… & while God often talks about leading your children to follow & trust Him… He ALSO spends a significant time talking about sharing the hope of Christ!

Even More!

AND… in Isaiah 54 (you really should stop & go read that right this moment), God says that a barren woman is able to have more children than a married woman. WHAT?

You see, when those who are blessed with children are raising those children, life is a little crazy (in a good way, even if sometimes so difficult), & most of a mom’s time & energy is spent pouring into those little children to raise them to be Christ followers.

But those of us who have no children have a beautiful opportunity.

You see, we can have more “children” than a married woman because while they are raising theirs, we can pour into those women who in turn pour into their own children!

And we can pour into other barren women who in turn can pour into the lives of others!

How great of an opportunity we have to pour hope into all surrounding women & children!

Talk about fruitful!!!

God Forgives! God Never Forsakes Us! God is Good! God is LOVE!

You see, God forgave me for my past when I repented & turned to Him. He forgave me IN FULL. He is not punishing me!

God does not forsake us… He has not forgotten me!

God is GOOD. He knows my heart to raise a child to honor & glorify Him long after I am gone & He is giving me opportunity to do that in an even greater way!

God is LOVE. He knows my heart cry & my longing… & He is giving me a way!!

Lovely, consider these things with me. How wonderful & loving & Good our God is!

He Loves You

He loves you.

He loves YOU.

He. Loves. You.

HE LOVES YOU!!!

Let that sink in for a moment. Read those last few lines again.

Close your eyes with me for a moment. Take a deep breath in… & then out. And let that Truth sink into the crevices of your pained heart.

Let His love wash over you & pour into those deep crevices of pain.

Let His goodness & mercy shine into the dark corners of your heart.

He’s Got a Plan… And It’s a GOOD One!

TRUST God.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

We may not know His timing. We may not see the fruit. But we can trust that He has a good plan with a good outcome. We can trust His love & we can trust His grace & goodness.

For His Love Endures Forever. Amen.

In whatever place you find yourself right now, Lovely, shine Hope. Always shine hope.

Grace & peace be to you from Christ Jesus, our LORD.

Amen.

Coming Next Week

Two blog posts are coming next week!

Monday will be our next regularly scheduled post of encouragement for your week & Thursday will be our Special Feature for this month!

Make sure to check back with me & hopefully I can pour some encouragement into your beautiful self.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Avalon Earrings

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Made with brass & then silver-plated, these statement earrings are a nod to our Indian artisans’ culture.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Other accessories are from previous catalogs & are no longer available)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Have You Ever Felt…

Have you ever felt like invisible hands are holding on to you & pulling you down?

Have you ever felt like the world is crushing you?

Have you ever felt like you are chasing an ever-fleeting feeling of happiness?

Have you ever felt despair, an endless dark void in your life?

Have you ever tried to make up for wrongs, but you feel like no matter your efforts, it’s pointless?

Do You…

Do you feel weak from trying to be good enough & strong enough in every situation?

Do you scramble to find where you fit in this world, always feeling like a square peg trying to fit in a triangle-shaped hole?

Do you feel tossed around by life?

Do you wish life wasn’t so hard all of the time?

Do you try & try & try again, only to fail & fall repeatedly?

Do you ache for someone to love you? To really love you just as you are?

Do you feel the necessity to pretend to be greater or more than you feel you are just to hang on to love?

Do you feel alone?

I have been there…. But I am not there anymore.

Once Upon A Time

All of those questions once described my life. All of those questions described a plague that infected my life once upon a time.

I didn’t know how to end it. I didn’t think there was a cure.

People always told me, “that’s just life.”

Has anyone ever said that to you? Even if they haven’t, have you ever felt that to be true?

I have.

That’s just life. Sometimes we tell ourselves that just as a reason to keep going… but to what end? (There is hope, though… so keep reading!)

Don’t Give Up

The most condemning answer we can hear is, “that’s just life.” Because in that three-worded phrase comes an understanding that there is no hope, that we just have to accept an existence of misery while we still live.

“That’s just life.” What a heart-breaking lie.

What a chain-maintaining, prison-keeping, darkness-inducing LIE.

The Other Side

Because let me tell you something… I have seen the other side. I know from EXPERIENCE that “That’s just life” is a lie, because I have seen what is very possible.

You can see those chains break. You can rush out of that prison. And the shining light of hope can meet you on the other side!

But you can’t do it alone.

Where Does My Help Come From?

Yes, that is where the lie, “That’s just life,” comes from—attempting to break out on our own, inevitably failing, & thus concluding that it is impossible to see any other result.

When we try to break out on our own, we sometimes will tirelessly make unfruitful attempts to fill the black void that seems to eat away at our soul.

We try to find happiness. We chase it with the wind. One more sprint! One more leap! I will surely catch it this time & I will finally be happy!

We chase success, wealth, recognition, reputation, health, affirmation, comfort, laughter, love.

We chase anything that will “finally make us happy.”

But Wait…

But then one of two things always seems to happen… We either reach complete success in that which we are chasing so eagerly & we somehow still feel empty… Or, we keep chasing it & it keeps getting away, leaving us to perpetually tire while still desperately running on our hamster wheel going nowhere.

Either way, inevitably, we start believing that little lie, “that’s just life.”

You see, we are hopeless in trying to reach it on our own. We are completely incapable of ever filling that void because it just seems to always get bigger.

We are hopeless & completely incapable… On Our Own.

Now don’t misunderstand me, every other person, even when working together, will also be hopeless & completely incapable. Another person can never fill that void any more than you can on your own.

So, who can?

There is SOMEONE

You see, I know Someone who shatters all chains, kicks down all prison doors, feeds & completely satisfies your soul, gives you rest & peace, loves you completely & UNCONDITIONALLY, & is always waiting with open arms to hold & affirm you.

I am not talking about some feel-good, positive-thinking vibes where if you believe hard enough that you can be happy with this Someone then you will be happy.

No. I am talking about even when having nothing left to give, broken & poured out, weeping, lost, & destitute, still finding freedom outside of yourself.

Finding Real Freedom

I am talking about a freedom you can’t create or imagine into existence.

I am talking about a freedom you don’t have to micro-manage to keep it.

I am talking about a freedom that despite the worst of you, is somehow offered to you.

I am talking about a freedom that is offered to us, without asking anything from us.

I am talking about a freedom already paid for, in which you don’t have to earn.

I am talking about a freedom that despite our complete lacking of deserving or earning any of it, is still offered to us.

This Freedom

This freedom sets you free in a way that baffles & astounds & sets us in awe.

This freedom is complete & thorough, breaking through EVERY chain that holds you.

This freedom is a gift.

This freedom is very much real.

When I Have Nothing, I Can Have EVERYTHING

In the midst of my sorrow, my hatred & anger, my ready-to-commit-suicide-because-nothing-ever-works self… I… Found… FREEDOM,

This type of freedom doesn’t leave you to fight it out on your own. This freedom doesn’t leave everything to your efforts. This freedom doesn’t come with conditions that must be met. This freedom cannot be earned. This freedom cannot be bought.

This freedom is FREE.

This freedom is lasting!

This freedom washes out all the rest & sets you free indeed.

What Is This Freedom?

This freedom is GRACE.

Jesus Christ.

He is God. He came down to Earth as man. He spent His life on Earth healing & serving humanity. He spoke Truth & Life & HOPE to everyone He met. He lived without sin. He lived LOVE.

And then He was rejected. He was beaten & mocked & killed in a gruesome display of disgrace. He could have summoned leagues of angels, but He stayed on that cross because He knew we couldn’t pay our own debt before God. He cried out. He died.

And three days later, He rose again!

He conquered death! He conquered sin! He conquered shame!

He died… So that WE may LIVE. He gave His Life so that we may Find Life.

What’s the Catch?

And what does He ask of us, for us to receive this amazing gift that we cannot earn?

Our faith… Our complete trust in Him.

That’s it.

Toss out trying to live life for you, by you, & through you. It doesn’t work.

Live for Him.

You will still make mistakes. You will still be human.

But the debt that you owed will be paid in full.

He Will Be…

And He will be your strength in trials. He will be your peace in confusion. He will be your Light in darkness. He will be your power when you have nothing. He will be your LOVE when you are lonely. He will be your satisfaction. He is ENOUGH.

He will welcome you into freedom.

It’s Worth Trusting the Creator of Mankind

We may not always understand His ways. We may think we know better.

But He is GOD. He doesn’t make mistakes. And whether we always agree or not, we can rest in knowing that HE KNOWS what He is doing & He is God.

But He promises that as we serve Him, He will turn our ashes into beauty & He will shine light into our darkness & He will work ALL things to the Good of those who love Him & are living for Him.

Those are pretty amazing promises! And He ALWAYS keeps His promises!

So, trust Him. Bow your heart before Him. Lay your way down in exchange for His.

Bow Your Heart… & Be Lifted Up from Your Mire

In your heart, right now, hand up everything you are trying to hold onto as your life preserver. Hand up everything you have done in rejection & rebellion to Him.

Ask for forgiveness.

And ask Him to be the Lord over your heart & life.

It’s that simple. One silent prayer leading to a whole life of freedom.

Run to Freedom, Accept His Grace

What’s stopping you?

It’s not “just life.” It’s ABUNDANT life!

A life of freedom awaits you.

Will you answer the call? Will you run into His waiting arms? Will you jump off the hamster wheel of life & race toward grace?

He is waiting with open arms for you, Lovely.

Find Hope. Shine Hope. Live Hope.

Coming Next Week

Hey everyone! I hope this week was an encouragement to you! Make sure to check back next Monday morning for my next post. See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear more about how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Jeweled Necklace

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Wear this necklace long or doubled. Made out of iron wire, glass beads, & nickel-free plating.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & to send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty AND create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured, the Stella Earrings, made in India!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Sometimes…

Sometimes, life isn’t so pretty. Sometimes, insecurities win. Sometimes, we let our desire to be good outweigh the good that God is actually calling us to do.

Whatever distractions are holding you back personally, my biggest one is doubt.

I always doubt whether my actions are led by a desire to feel or seem good, or whether they are actually led by God’s will.

Am I living to glorify myself or to glorify God?

Am I living to please man or to please God?

Am I living by my wisdom or God’s?

It is so hard to navigate some of these feelings & sometimes it makes us want to just quit & hide away in comfort. (At least, that’s how it makes me feel).

And Today…

Today, I struggled yet again with these doubts.

I don’t know all the answers. I don’t know whether God will empower me to continue this blog or to shut it down to go wherever else He may be calling me, but until I figure that out, I will keep seeking God’s direction & I will keep seeking to honor Him.

Letting My Heart Show

The following prayer resulted from brain fog. Every week seems like a battle of the will to show up & write a blog & I am constantly doubting whether it is God’s will or whether I am just trying to feel like I am doing good. (Or whether Satan is just trying to keep me from shining any light of hope into this world).

Please pray this openly & ask God to show you His will for Your life. Don’t settle for hiding. Don’t settle for less. Don’t let excuses rule your day. God is bigger. God is able.

My Prayer

“Dear God,

I am not worthy to write this blog. Why did this come in my path? Are you asking me to do this, or is it my way to not feel like I am wasting my life? I say I want to serve You, but does my life really display that as reality? Or am I just wanting to feel good about myself?

I don’t think I can do this blog. I don’t want to do this blog. I don’t feel like I have anything worthy to say that could do any real good in anyone’s life.

Is this Your way of telling me to quit the blog or is Satan trying to dim Your light in my life? It is easy for me to believe the latter because this seems like something that would honor You, but at the same time, I have so distanced myself from You over my years of bitterness that I don’t know if I can always accurately discern Your voice anymore.

I wonder sometimes if I should give up working with Trades of Hope, too, because I have failed so miserably in representing them & in supporting my team. I wonder sometimes if I should quit my Facebook page community because I am so scattered & not always professional & others seem to not even be interested in it. I want to quit this blog because I wonder what good I could realistically do for You.

I feel like a failure at everything I try to do for You. Does this mean You don’t want me doing it? Or are You trying to teach me to rely on You instead of myself?

Show me what You want from me. Make Your voice clear amidst the insecurities & fears & facing the unknown. Show me what YOU want from me.

I know that oftentimes, we like to jump to do good & claim that it’s Your will when You might have a completely different plan for us that we’re avoiding because we think we have already figured things out for You.

I don’t want that. I want YOUR will. I want to shine YOUR light. Not mine.

I feel so conflicted that I just want to slam my laptop shut & never try blogging again.

I want to quit Trades of Hope & blogging & doing LIVE videos & all of it.

I don’t want to feel this conflict anymore. It was easier when I did nothing.

I want to sit on the couch & try to tune out the hurts in the world. I want to stay in pjs & watch tv & try not to care. I want so badly to be comfortable!

But then it isn’t any easier when I do nothing because I feel the pain of seeing a hurting world pass me by & then knowing I am doing nothing to make it any better.

I am a mess. I don’t deserve to be used by You. I don’t deserve for anyone to listen to me.

I have scars & a past & insecurities & weaknesses & areas of intense pride & I struggle being gracious to the flaws of others & I constantly choose comfort over You or the people of this world that You love so much who are hurting so much.

I don’t deserve to be a part of anything You are doing in this world.

I just want to be used by You & I don’t know how.

I don’t know how, God. Please show me Your will.

I don’t want to just do things that make me feel good about myself. I want to do Your will. I want to follow Your call. I want to join in where You are already working.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

Whether I quit this blog or whether You ask me to continue writing & continue allowing myself to be vulnerable for all the world to judge. Shine through it. Even if you ask me to do something harder than this. Your will. Not mine.

I am tired of making excuses & hiding from what I don’t yet know or understand.

Be the Light & shine a path for me.

Use me how You will, God. Make me Your vessel. Shine through my brokenness. Make me Your ambassador.

Show me Your will.

I am tired of trying to force goodness. I am tired of fighting against my excuses. I am tired of trying to be strong on my own. I am tired of being dragged down by the idol of Comfort. I am tired of living for me. I am tired of fighting You.

True strength & power & wisdom & peace & GOODNESS comes from You ALONE. Help me to stop trying to create it on my own, in my own strength. Help me to submit & to draw near to You.

Whatever is holding me back from Your will, remove it. Wherever I am hiding away, expose it with Your Truth. Wash me. Cleanse me. Renew my heart & mind & draw me back to Yourself.

I want to know You. I want to serve You out of LOVE & devotion. I want others to know Your love through how I live & how I love others. I want to be self-disciplined & productive in Your kingdom. I want to serve others by expressing Your love for them. I want a real faith defined by real action. I want to know & love You more.

Don’t give up on me.

In Jesus’ Powerful Name,

Amen.”

The Truth

The Truth? I don’t have it all together. Satan tries to discourage me. But when that happens, I have a choice. I can either choose to give up & stay where I’m at… forever… OR, I can take those fears, those doubts, those insecurities, & everything else that tries to hold me back to GOD. Because that’s when the real change can happen. That’s where the power is. Don’t give up… Give it to God.

Shine Hope, Lovelies. And don’t you ever give up.

Coming Up

This Thursday is time for our Special Feature blog post for this month! Check back Thursday morning for Part 2 of “A Love Story”! To catch up with Part 1 before Thursday, read it here.

Also, as always, check back next Monday morning for more encouragement.

I am praying that this reaches the women it was meant for. God sees you, Lovely.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Warrior Cuff

Empowering Women in India Out of Poverty!

This brass gold, hammered, stacked cuff opens in the back.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Empire Earrings, made by artisans in India.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Feeling the Weight

Have you ever felt broken, like you didn’t deserve a second chance?

Have you ever felt the grip of guilt or shame not loosen its grip?

Have you ever cried over past mistakes & felt broken inside?

Have you ever felt beyond repair?

Me too.

Looking Back

I have never been perfect, although I tried to believe I could be, or at least make others believe that I was.

Growing up in a Christian home, going to church a couple or few times a week, I felt the pressure to be good, even though I was not.

I felt like a fraud, pretending my way through church services.

I felt ashamed to admit the truth, guessing that my family would probably have a heart attack if they knew the real me—the imperfect me. The rebellious, stubborn, prideful me.

The doubting me….

Doubts Washed Away

I had so many doubts about faith when I was growing up. Church claimed that God was the one true God, but the world claimed other gods, each defending their own religions.

I didn’t want to doubt. But I did.

If you have read my story of “Hope is Found”, you will know what happened next…. You will see how God washed my torturous doubts away like a cool summer rain. He set me free to live at peace with Him.

I know Who the real God is, whether I always like how He does things or not—He is God either way & He knows best, whether I understand in the moment or not.

Turning Away

But again, this is a new day, with new lessons to learn.

Brokenness. Guilt. Shame. Past mistakes. “Beyond repair”.

You would think that after everything that God has taught me & everything He has brought me through, I would be courageous & bold & unwavering in my faith & pursuit to honor God.

You would think.

But, here I am.

Israelites = ME

The older I get, the more I seem to relate to the Israelites in the Bible.

The Israelites were God’s chosen people & God demonstrated His love & grace & power & forgiveness & PATIENCE through His relationship with the Israelite people throughout the Bible.

Basically, their relationship went like this…

God would make them promises, saying all they had to do was trust Him wholeheartedly & follow His will & way. They would worship & praise & follow & obey. Then pride. Then hard-heartedness. Then rebellion. Then captivity. Then cries for redemption….

And then God would save them in a powerful way… & then the cycle would start again.

In our well-meaning, naïve (*Coughproudcough) way, we tend to scoff from the sidelines & shout at the Israelites as we read of their rebellions springing up yet again, “What is wrong with you guys! God JUST miraculously saved you after the awful way you have CONTINUOUSLY been treating Him & have been spitting in His face… only to have you reject Him AGAIN??? What is wrong with you?!?”

Haha.

How highly we like to think of ourselves, at times… am I right?

I am just the same as the Israelites, there is no way around it. If not worse than them….

The Results of Rebellion

I feel grieved. Some days, I just feel so empty & self-loathing. I cry, remembering my rebellion.

I feel broken.

I feel empty.

I feel like a fraud.

I feel like giving up in trying to be or claiming to be anything else.

But.

God’s grace.

His mercy.

His patience & forgiveness & faithfulness & steadfastness.

He Doesn’t Shame Us, He Sets Us Free

As much as I continually am beating myself up lately, feeling completely unworthy of yet another opportunity to be forgiven & renewed, the fact remains… He is faithful & He forgives me.

As many of you have heard, I had lived in an ocean of bitterness for the past many years.

Bitterness at praying for a child, going through doctor appointments, being told it would happen any day, receiving gifts from friends for the inevitable day that never came, living alone, feeling like if I only had a baby to love & to love me, I wouldn’t feel so alone. And feeling hurt & betrayed by God when it never happened.

Bitterness at feeling the loss of my husband’s love that was never really gone, but perceived to be as we literally fought through our first year and a half of marriage, feeling betrayed by the loss of his companionship & feeling betrayed by God for bringing me to the other side of the planet, only to feel abandoned & neglected by Jamie’s demanding work schedule & inevitable resulting high stress levels.

Bitterness at being so eager to plug into local churches, only to find out there was little I could do. Bitterness at pouring my heart & soul into encouraging others, only to find out they didn’t need it as much as I did.

Bitterness at myself for never being skinny or pretty enough & bitterness for believing that lie.

I Woke Up

And then the wake-up call came & I started crawling, wounded, untrusting, back to God.

I claimed to know to pray & let Him be God, but I still felt hurt & hesitant to let Him in my heart. He had heard my prayers & my cries & my inward screams & He had not changed my circumstances.

I blamed Him instead of trusting Him.

Has that ever been you?

And now, seeing Him forgive me & feeling Him work on changing my attitude & renewing my faith… I just feel shame & guilt & hesitation.

Humility Rains Down

I am as the Israelites.

God has blessed me through more heartache & trials & doubts than I can name. He has guided me & tenderly loved my heart toward Himself in powerful ways I could not ignore.

He gave me great promise & potential.

I got proud. I grew hard-hearted. I rebelled.

And now I cry out to Him. Undeserving, broken, scarred.

Believing the Lie That Shame Trumps Grace

I struggle the most right now with accepting His open arms.

It’s almost like I want to punish myself for being unfaithful & for turning my back on Him.

His grace hurts because it is so contrast to the way I have treated Him.

It makes me see my unfaithfulness to Him more clearly. I can’t hide from my part in pushing Him away.

Beauty from Ashes

But at the same time, it’s so beautiful.

It is so beautiful to come back to giving my faith to Him… to come home to Him & to realize that He is running out to greet me like I never crushed His heart to begin with.

It is humbling. It crushes me some days as I punish myself, (without Him asking me to).

He wants me to lay all of my shame down at His feet. All of my guilt & shame & scars at His feet, knowing I don’t have to carry them anymore… because His grace covers those.

But I grip on to them, afraid of getting away with it & then doing it all over again.

But as you can see, that is another form of not trusting Him, right? Not trusting that He is able to renew me & teach & guide me.

I don’t deserve the grace He so willingly offers to me. Not again. I knew better. But yet, He offers it to me all the same.

Letting the Walls Come Down

I am slowly trusting Him with prayer again. I am slowly opening my heart & accepting the role I played in distrusting His sovereignty & endless love for me (for all of us). I am slowly taking those badges of dishonor & handing them over to Him to let Him heal those broken parts.

I am good at defending myself, even my wrongs. I am good at self-denial. I am good at pretending I don’t know better, when rebellion knocks at the door.

But God is breaking through those lies I told to myself. The lies that said I was good as is. The lies that justified my wrong behavior. He is showing my a clear picture of myself in the mirror.

And I don’t like it.

Working to Rebuild

He is not doing this to shame me, but quite the opposite. I can feel Him peeling away all of the layers I built to defend myself, telling me, “I see you, Michelle. I REALLY see you. And I still love you. I REALLY love you!”

Not the me I try to be, in proving I can be good enough. No. The me that can never be “good enough”, but is so deeply loved just the same.

And He feels the same about you. He sees your scars & your coverups & your denial… And He REALLY loves you… for who you are behind all of the masks that we use to hide ourselves.

When I rebelled, the truth remains that God never left. He never betrayed or broke me. I did that.

If I Had Never Left & Even Now

He offered me hope in my disappointment, comfort in my longing, & friendship in my loneliness… But I rejected it & spat in His face because it wasn’t how I thought it should be. How I thought I wanted it to be.

It is possible to be held captive by what you were once set free from….

But the other side is just as true… It is always possible to be redeemed by what holds you captive.

A Clean Slate. A Renewed Heart & Faith

God doesn’t keep track. He doesn’t tick away at how many times He will rescue you from yourself before giving up on you. He will never give up on you. He knows we are like the Israelites, prone to wander & rebel. And He loves us anyway!

He is also loving & forgiving & patient & kind & powerful & sovereign & faithful.

If you come to Him with a repentant heart, wanting to throw away the broken, sinful, ashamed, selfish, rebellious you & exchange it for all that He offers… He is always willing & waiting with open arms.

Run To Him

So, run back, Lovely.

No matter how far you feel you have run from Him. No matter how lost you feel you are. No matter how far gone or broken or torn down you feel. RUN BACK TO HIS OPEN ARMS.

He is waiting to welcome you home… Every time… No matter what… I promise.

So. Run. Back. Home.

And leave those awful pits of guilt at His throne. Trust His grace to be more powerful than your shame.

And let Him set you free.

Let Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me next week for the next topic of encouragement! Please pray that God continue to heal my heart & to keep me steadfast in seeking Him as I seek to encourage all of you to run to Him with all you are.

He loves you.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bombolulu Earrings

Empowering Women in Kenya Out of Poverty!

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, and become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Kenya!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Getting Real

Being “Authentic” is a tricky topic for most people, including myself. I think it’s tricky because oftentimes, we aren’t completely sure what is the “real” us.

This may not seem to make sense, because it sounds so ridiculous, but the fact is that none of us really know who our authentic selves are—not completely or accurately anyway.

That sounds pretty crazy, but hopefully after we take some time to discuss it further, it will begin to make more sense.

We Should Know, Right?

In all logic, it seems that of all the people who should really know who we are on the inside,  it would be us, right?

But how well do we really know ourselves?

Let me explain.

We all have our perception of reality. This is sometimes labeled as “our truth” because it’s how we personally see the world around us & also how we see ourselves.

But is it always accurate?

Probably not so much.

Here’s why….

For starters, we were all shaped as children, by our surroundings. This could include, but is not limited to, childhood trauma, for example. But it can also be something as simple as the ideologies of our parents & how we were raised, as a result.

We Are Shaped By What We Know

Something so awful can happen to us, or even a subtle wrong… And it can often become etched into our minds as truth, even if it isn’t!

A common example of this would be seeing a parent abandon the family, thus “realizing” that marriages don’t really work… creating a fear of intimacy or long-term commitment.

Another example is hearing how your parent describes someone of a different nationality, upbringing, or even judging based on outside appearances such as weight.

We will often grow up with a prejudice built into our brains, as a result of this upbringing, that we are not even fully aware of as wrong or incorrect.

Image issues, insecurities, commitment or other phobias, etc. can be etched into our subconscious so deeply that we may not even see them as anything other than “just the way things are,” because they are “our truth.”

Our idea of truth can be completely wrong, but feel so completely right because it is all we have ever known.

Family Histories Often Seem Like FACT

Also, considering how we grew up or even our family histories, it can be ingrained in us even further that that is just the way life is, & that there is little we can do to change things.

Because it has been approved or acted upon for years, or decades even, it seems to us as factual.

So who are we really? How can we truly be authentic if we don’t have a clear picture as to who we really are?

Perception Doesn’t Always Equal Truth

The other thing to consider is perception.

Perception is a tricky thing because it is just how it sounds—it is OUR perception. It is simply how we perceive things to be, even if they are not actually that way,

We may even have something happen to us or around us, & we might perceive it as a specific turn of events or as a memory etched in our minds, when really, we misinterpreted the situation completely, whether for the better, or for the worse.

For example, seeing a grumpy look on someone’s face & assuming they dislike something about you, when really, someone may have just done something awful to THEM & they were struggling at hiding their physical facial reaction, which just happened to be aimed in your direction.

I could list TONS of other examples, but I think we can agree that this sort of thing has probably happened to us & we have probably inadvertently caused this same situation to happen to some other bystander.

Perception is a powerful influencer, but it is not always based on reality.

So Much Out There

There are so many outside factors that shape what we believe about who we are, even if many of them are lies.

So, considering these factors, how are we supposed to know who we really are?

Do you ever feel like you are living life, the best you know how, but something just never seems to fit? Like you don’t WANT to be “like that” or do “that” or live “that way”? But it just seems like it’s “just the way things are?”

Or maybe it seems like that is “just who YOU are” & you can’t change it?

I have struggled against that angst many times growing up.

But I oftentimes convince myself to just accept it & to flourish despite it (instead of changing my idea of who I really am based on actual facts or truth).

What the Heart Wants

We want to be “real” or “true to ourselves” but we often don’t REALLY know what that even looks like!

How confusing.

On top of those considerations, we sometimes want or long for things that are not actually what we want in the long run.

We can be so convinced that we have found what our heart so longs for, & then be completely wrong about it. (Keep reading… Hope is coming through all of this!)

Take my experience with my first serious relationship. I was so convinced that he was the absolute best man for me & I was ready to accept a ring & start a life of endless bliss with him.

I wanted it more than anything I had ever wanted!

I was sure of my decision–More sure than anything I had ever known.

But when I prayed about it, something just felt off. I never received peace, even though I was so sure that I wanted to be with this man forever & ever.

Obeying When We Don’t Understand

I obeyed that nudging from God through my lack of peace & I trusted God enough to let go, breaking my heart as well as his. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. But I don’t regret it, because I knew God was behind it & I trusted Him more than myself.

But then I met my husband, a decade or so later, & I realized that God had a better plan for me than I had had for myself. My husband didn’t seem like my “dreamboat” from first glance, the way the other man had, but the longer we are married (six years now), the more he seems tailored to fit my weaknesses & insecurities & past & future better than I imagined possible.

Long story short, I am so glad that I trusted God above my own fierce desires & temptations to believe that my heart knew better than God a decade earlier.

The Bible even speaks to this, “The heart is deceitful above all things… Who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

“Be True to Self”

How can I trust myself to be “true to myself” when that understanding of myself is so often incorrect or incomplete?

And again (& in so many other verses as well), the Bible speaks to this: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You see, because we don’t fully understand ourselves the way God does, we can’t really understand what will help or benefit us in the long run… We only have a marred & blurry glimpse into what we think we want or need right now, in this moment.

But God sees the full picture. He knows you inside & out. He sees your comings & goings, when you sit & when you rise (Psalm 139:2). He numbers every hair on your head (Luke 12:7). He knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). He sees all things & knows all things. Your past, present, & future are laid out before Him.

He Knows Us

He can be trusted to know us better than we know ourselves.

And here comes another doozy… We all want to be liked & accepted for “who we are,” even though we ourselves often do not know who that is.

We shape so many behaviors in this quest to find true love & acceptance for who we are. Sometimes we highlight what we believe to be better about ourselves & sometimes we hide away what we believe others can’t love.

We want so badly for someone to “get us”, the “real” us, but oftentimes, we are left wanting more, because we may not fully understand what will satisfy that longing fully & completely.

But here’s the thing… We will never be fully satisfied on this “hamster wheel” of trying to be “authentic” & “liked.”

We were meant to find our satisfaction & identity & worth in Jesus Christ.

God Wants You to Know Yourself Through HIS Design!

God made you for a relationship with Himself.

God MADE you. He KNOWS you.

So take the time to ask Him about HIS design for you. Be willing to toss out all presuppositions, perceptions, passions, or longings to ask Him what you were designed for & to show you what will actually satisfy you the way you are so desperately searching.

Ask Him.

I went through the same process & I was amazed, awed, & so glad I did!

I have a long way to go & many areas that I excuse or hide about myself because I think it’s just a part of me, but God knows better & I refuse to leave it at my own perception or even my own ability to change.

He is bigger & wiser & stronger & more powerful & more loving & more ABLE than we will ever comprehend.

So, ask Him!

Ask Him & Don’t Stop Asking Him

Refuse to accept the prison chains that hold you back or hold you down.

Ask Him to let His Truth set you free—for Good! (John 8:31-32)

Don’t settle for a façade. Don’t settle for anything less than the beautiful design that God intended for you, Lovely. Ask Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me next week for more encouragement on michellehydeonline.com! See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Stardust Studs

Empowering women out of poverty in India & Jordan!

These sterling silver stud earrings hold a white opaque moonstone.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Through these artisan groups, these women in India have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education and healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured: Sea Glass Necklace from Jordan)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!