A Quick Glance Back

A couple weeks ago, I began discussing the topic of “Living Love”. The first topic I discussed was about living graciously, with intentional kindness. (Read that post, here.)

Last week, I introduced the topic of loving people, even when it’s hard. I honed in on five different reasons that make it hard for us to love others. Those five reasons include:

1. Loving Our Enemies
2. Loving People Who Are Difficult to Love
3. Loving People Different Than Us
4. Loving Through Trauma & Pain (today’s post)
5. Loving When We Don’t Feel Like It (also today’s post)

(To catch up, check out Part 1 + Introduction to this topic, here.)

Today, I would like to finish off the topic we started last week of living love, even when it’s hard, by talking about those last two areas of difficulty in loving others—Loving Through Trauma and Pain & Loving When We Don’t Feel Like It.

Sometimes We Don’t Get It, & That’s OK

To begin talking about loving others through trauma & pain, I need to address this very important point—sometimes we don’t get it, & that’s ok.

Have you ever had a friend or loved one pour their sorrows on you, only to leave you feeling completely helpless & uncomfortable—squirmy even—eager to change the subject?

I know it has happened to me, & I know I can’t be alone in this.

We are called, by God, to share each other’s burdens. We are called to lift one another up & encourage one another, pointing each other back to the hope & promises of God.

So, then why can it be so uncomfortable?

Partly because we are caught off guard, but I think partly because we feel a pressure & a guilt to make all their troubles go away. And if we don’t know how to do that, we freeze & are left feeling uncomfortable.

Another reason is maybe we are personally strained or stressed, & taking on the strain or stress of your friend seems too much to bare.

Bringing Back Perspective

But let me bring everything back into perspective…

We ARE weak. We ARE insufficient. We ARE incapable of juggling or solving it all…

BUT…

Guess who isn’t any of those things? GOD.

God is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise, & all-capable!

HE IS ENOUGH.

So, when you feel the weight of the world crushing you to the floor, in the midst of the struggle, stop trying to carry it yourself!

And when a friend comes to you with burdens, take them to Him—right then & there.

If they were desperate enough to wear their heart on their sleeve, pour their heart out to you, & risk rejection through vulnerability—then it is important enough to step aside or stop right where you are & respond with this:

“Hey, I am so sorry you are facing this right now. Can I give you a hug? Can we stop right now & pray together? I may not know how to help, but God is big enough & He can bring wisdom or healing or grace to this situation, so let’s go to Him right now & ask Him for it.”

You don’t need to know all the answers—because He does. You don’t need to know how to fix everything—but God gives peace & wisdom & strength to those who ask Him.

So, ask!

Loving Through Trauma & Pain

So, keeping that in mind, we come to the topic of loving others who are hurting immensely, maybe more than we have ever or will ever experience in our lifetime.

It can be easy to be intimidated by the great pain that others face, especially when we can’t understand their situation & we feel like fools with nothing useful to say… And that’s okay.

Like I mentioned above, we really can’t fully relate to or understand others, & we don’t have to. God can give us the words. God can give us the strength. God can give us the wisdom.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of sitting silently with your friend or being a listening ear. Sometimes you just hold their hand & sit by them. Sometimes you just PRAY.

But keep showing up (or sometimes giving them space), keep loving them, & keep praying!

It’s Hard to See Them Hurt

Whether the pain or trauma is a chronic illness, life-threatening health condition, depression, anxiety, or a traumatic life event (or other difficult situation), take the time to listen to your friend. Let them know that you are not going anywhere & that it’s ok to not be ok—that they don’t have to pretend with you.

Pray with them & love them as they are.

Society puts a lot of pressure on seeming happy & confident & self-reliant, so when we aren’t those things, we feel broken & in the way.

Let your friends know they don’t have to fake it because you love them even in the storms of life—even when their life’s a mess & even when they feel broken & scarred.

God is Able!

Let God fill in the gaps where you are inadequate. Let God direct your words & let God encourage your friend through your words & presence.

Let God use you to be a light to them in their dark moments.

Because whether we like to admit it or think about it, we all have dark moments arise in life. There is sin in this world & that sin results in a broken world. Pain is inevitable at times.

So, trust God through the storms & keep on loving when it’s difficult.

Loving Others When You Don’t Feel Like It

There are two areas I want to touch on with this specific area. Sometimes we don’t feel like loving someone because of our own stress, strain, or pain, & sometimes it’s our own attitudes that keep us back from loving others the way we are called to love them.

Loving Through the Storms

Here’s a little mental picture of how life felt for me a couple times this past week….

Imagine trying to walk on stormy seas. The waves are crashing around you, loud & thunderous. The skies are dark & menacing, seeming to close in around you. The ocean water is seeming to grab at your heels, & you are so tired from the fight that you almost want to let it pull you under. Drowning seems imminent because you feel the fight being drained from your body.

But up ahead, you see the hand of Jesus, stretched out to meet you. You hear His tender voice saying, “I am here. I am with you. I am enough. I will keep you above the waves. Don’t focus on the threats surrounding you—only keep your eyes on me & you will be okay. Troubles will come in this world, but lo, take heart, for I have overcome the world.”

But it sucks.

The pain & strife & struggle & fight… they all suck… big time.

And sometimes you don’t want to fight. You forget that God is a prayer away & that He has strength for you if you but ask. But sometimes you just want the struggle taken away & it just isn’t.

But God is enough.

Don’t let insecurities, stress, struggles, fears, challenges, exhaustion, etc. keep your eyes off Jesus—because He is enough.

Let Him be your strength & keep honoring Him with your life, even when you feel you can’t. Because Satan will do all he can to stifle our opportunities to glorify God in this life, but GOD IS BIGGER.

So, keep your eyes on Him & keep shining His light through the storm.

Loving Through Anger & Strife

Sometimes our own pride gets damaged when someone says an unkind word or is short with us. The bad attitudes of others tend to rub off on us, don’t they?

And sometimes their bad attitude is directed toward us, & all of a sudden, we are left angry, hurt, & upset.

But other times, it’s simply a misunderstanding that can flip a happy situation into a confusing, upsetting spiral of emotions.

In those moments, we feel justified with our, “You apologize first!” mentality. But when both parties feel this way, things get stuck.

This is especially prone to happen when it’s with someone who is typically encouraging you toward Christ, because guess what? Satan hates it & wants to split up your friendship at all costs.

But, GOD IS BIGGER.

Keep those thoughts in mind next time, & love & trust God enough to ask Him to help you love past your hurt, misunderstandings, & anger.

He is big enough!

Ask that friend to pray out loud with you, even if you can’t look at each other while you do it.

You will be surprised of the healing, grace, reconciliation, & growth that God can bring through that painful situation when we entrust it to His wisdom & love.

A Call to Love

So, there you have it. Love when it’s hard. Pray when it’s hard to love. Let God fill in the gaps.

And when the storms of life rage on, keep your eyes pinned to Jesus & let Him guide you through the storm.

Because GOD. IS. ENOUGH.

Shine Hope… Live LOVE—even when it’s hard.

Coming Next Week

Next week, I have a special, unplanned treat for you. I want to talk about the secret to life. I want to share with you the not-so-secret key that fits all of life together.

… So, make sure to check in next week to see what’s in store!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Empress Necklace

Representing Women Artisans in India & Thailand!

This bib necklace is hand embroidered with an adjustable cotton cord.

Artisan Information:

Even though it is curable, patients with leprosy are often rejected by their families and villages. Due to the visible signs that label them as “lepers”, they usually end up as beggars on the street, often with their children at their sides. This group has changed this lonely lifestyle for these women. They have found a place of life, love, and dignity where they can take pride and gain confidence in their beautiful work.

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also Pictured: Stella Earrings from India & Royalty Wrap from Thailand.*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Sometimes It’s Hard

Last week’s blog was about Living Love Intentionally, but I felt I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t make sure to talk about living love, even when it’s hard.

Now, I don’t just mean with a spouse or romantic relationship… We are called to love EVERYONE, even people we don’t know well. (But this definitely can apply to romantic relationships in certain circumstances).

Loving someone even when it’s hard can have several meanings:

1. Loving an enemy
2. Loving a person whose personality or character is hard to love
3. Loving someone different from us, whom we don’t understand
4. Loving someone through a life or death situation
5. Loving when you really don’t feel like it (arguments, anger, hurt, etc.)

Now, I am not a licensed psychologist, so I don’t have all of the techniques down, but I do know that this is an area of great importance to God.

He loves us ALL, even when we are (or, rather, feel that we are) unlovable.

And because of that, we should all strive to love all people, whether we want to or not, because Christ first loved us (including them) & died for the sins (wrongs) of all of us (including them).

So, let’s talk about that for a bit & hopefully we can all encourage each other to trust this area to God more & to grow better at it as we go.

Loving an Enemy—God’s Perspective

First of all, loving our enemies seems like the absolute hardest thing to do, but God expressly tells us to do so, so it must be possible & it must be important to Him.

We are all enemies of God, on our own. We are born selfish & self-focused. We want what WE want & we want it NOW.

God is so patient in loving us through our stubborn pride, even when we figuratively spit in His face & turn our backs on His Truth, Promises, Grace, & LOVE.

There is no extent to His patience & willingness to extend grace to us. He is like a loving Father, waiting with open arms to welcome us home.

He also sent Christ to die a cruel death to pay our debt & offers freely a debt-free gift of His grace, if only we are humble enough to accept it. No strings attached. No conditions based on how wrong our actions or attitudes of the past were or what nasty secrets hide in our closet of shame. (Read my Redemption Story, here.)

He paid it all & forgives freely.

He loves the “unlovable.” He loves those “too far gone.” He loves EVERYONE.

And we are called to love them, too. Even when they are an enemy.

Loving an Enemy—in Practice

So how do we do this? How do we love someone who might be cruel, heartless, reckless, etc.?

How do we love the unlovable?

Through PRAYER, first of all! It is by no means natural for us to love someone we naturally want to hate.

Not natural at all!

But because God tells us to do so, it is definitely possible—just not by our own efforts!

So, if someone has hurt you, turn to God as your strength.

Lay your burdens & pain & anger & fear at His feet & trust that HE IS BIGGER than any evil you face.

Pray for that person.

Pray that God soften their heart & wake them up to repentance.

Pray that God give you strength & peace in the midst of the turmoil.

Pray that God show you how to be a light in that person’s life.

Pray that God teach you to be gracious.

And sometimes, if needed for personal safety, pray at a distance.

But PRAY.

God Can Do All Things

Do you know of Paul, in the Bible?

Well, Saul became Paul.

Saul murdered Christians as his mission in life, but God stopped him dead in his tracks, woke him up to the Truth & the MAJESTY of God’s POWER.

And Saul surrendered his life & became one of the biggest influencers for HOPE & LOVE & GRACE, of all time!

God can do anything. So, love that person by learning to be gracious (knowing you were once an enemy to God, but that He also offers you endless forgiveness & grace) & never stop praying for that enemy!

Loving the Difficult

Sometimes loving someone is difficult simply because the person you are called to love is difficult. Maybe they are a loud mouth. Maybe they gloat about doing wrong. Maybe they are crude or rude. Maybe they talk about others behind their backs.

Whatever the reason, maybe that person just straight up rubs you the wrong way.

I definitely understand that!

But also, maybe their personality just simply clashes with yours. Maybe they intimidate you. Maybe they just irk you.

Guess what, Lovely… We are called to love them, too.

Cue the loud, long *SIGH*.

I get it, it’s tough loving someone that gets on your last nerve.

But, reality check, God loves them, & so should we.

As always, start by praying. Pray for your attitude, because sometimes it’s simply your impression of them & we need to take personal responsibility as well & take the time to get to know that person past our perception of them.

Pray for that person. Pray that God show you ways to bridge the gaps & to help you better understand & love them the way God calls you to.

And be kind. Always be kind. And pray.

Loving Differences

Whoo, this is a big one, too, isn’t it?

We all like to believe that we don’t hold any prejudices, but let’s face it, Lovelies… that’s a lie that we all tell ourselves because the word “prejudice” sounds so awful.

And it is awful!

Prejudice comes in many forms, aside from the obvious hot topic of race, & it usually stems from simply not understanding where that other person is coming from & why they are the way they are.

Differences are scary sometimes, because we don’t understand them.

It can also take form when recognizing different upbringings, different personality types, different social statuses, different amounts of wealth, new money vs old money, culture differences, language barriers, large age gaps, etc. etc. etc.
It’s easy to feel different from other people—because we are all different people!

But God warns us against favoring one person over another, mainly because He sees past all of that to the souls of all His creation–& He loves us all just as much as the other.

It is reasonably tough to love someone different from us, mostly because it’s hard for us to understand what we don’t understand.

So, start by getting to know that person better—their culture, their upbringing, their roles in life, etc.

Learn to look through God’s eyes, to see them as souls. To see them as a person just like you, even though they’re different.

Living in Japan—Perspective

One thing I have learned from living in Japan for several years, (Read more about that on my “About Me” page), is that we are all essentially the same.

We ALL have hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, aspirations, a need to be loved & accepted, & most of all, a need for HOPE & GRACE.

Most of the Japanese may not speak my language. Their fashion may be somewhat different from mine. They may have a different lifestyle, history & cultural upbringing…. But they are all created by & loved by God, just like me.

So, strive to look past the differences & LOVE those who are different from you, as if they were just like you, but different. 😉

… to be continued.

Shine Hope, Lovely!

Coming Next Week

I wish I had time to continue on in this post for this topic of “Living Love-Even When It’s Hard,” but there’s just too much to say about this topic to condense it down any further, so make sure to check back next week, as we finish this topic & discuss “Loving through Other’s Pains” & “Loving through Personal Hurt.”

It’s going to be good—See you next week!!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Joy Ring

Supporting Women in Nepal with my Joy Ring!

This adjustable ring is made of intertwining silver and brass metal alloy and a white powder stone.

Artisan Information:

In many areas of Nepal, women are not considered equal to men and are vulnerable to sex trafficking. But the women making this product are earning an income and learning entrepreneurship, giving them confidence to break social norms! With every purchase, these women are provided with education, seminars on health, nutrition and also on women’s rights. Your purchase will create change for generations of women to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Nepal

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

A Quick Reflection

It has been so neat seeing God grow even me as I begin this blogging journey.

I began this journey expecting to inspire & encourage others, but as is true in most cases, the more I apply myself to pray over & encourage others in these areas, the more I inevitably grow & learn along the way.

Diving in Together

As you can probably tell from the title, “Intentionality Part 3”, I am wanting to park on this subject for a little while & really take some time to work through different areas of our lives where intentionality may be less than we hope.

Looking Back

Okay, so last week, I introduced the topic of Intentionality—Why it’s important, why it’s hard to live out, & what part God has in all of it.

But this week, I would like to talk to you a little more about HOW we can live intentionally.

Getting Focused

As I get started on this blogging journey, I have spent many hours planning & thinking through what I would like to talk about.

I want to be intentional in what I use this space for—to encourage you with HOPE & with the courage to SHINE that hope.

I want to share with you my LIFE—my ups & downs, my insecurities & victories, my hesitations & my occasional courageous moments. I want to figuratively link arms with you & do this journey together.

To accomplish this, it really came down to one word—intentionality. And so, that’s where I am choosing to begin.

Stepping into the Wilderness…

Okay, so if you read last week’s Blog, you know why I decided to move forward with this blog (If you haven’t read it yet, click here to get caught up)… At least as it pertains to overcoming my excuses… But this week, I want to share with you more of my “Heart Reason” behind this Blog.