Sometimes…

Sometimes, life isn’t so pretty. Sometimes, insecurities win. Sometimes, we let our desire to be good outweigh the good that God is actually calling us to do.

Whatever distractions are holding you back personally, my biggest one is doubt.

I always doubt whether my actions are led by a desire to feel or seem good, or whether they are actually led by God’s will.

Am I living to glorify myself or to glorify God?

Am I living to please man or to please God?

Am I living by my wisdom or God’s?

It is so hard to navigate some of these feelings & sometimes it makes us want to just quit & hide away in comfort. (At least, that’s how it makes me feel).

And Today…

Today, I struggled yet again with these doubts.

I don’t know all the answers. I don’t know whether God will empower me to continue this blog or to shut it down to go wherever else He may be calling me, but until I figure that out, I will keep seeking God’s direction & I will keep seeking to honor Him.

Letting My Heart Show

The following prayer resulted from brain fog. Every week seems like a battle of the will to show up & write a blog & I am constantly doubting whether it is God’s will or whether I am just trying to feel like I am doing good. (Or whether Satan is just trying to keep me from shining any light of hope into this world).

Please pray this openly & ask God to show you His will for Your life. Don’t settle for hiding. Don’t settle for less. Don’t let excuses rule your day. God is bigger. God is able.

My Prayer

“Dear God,

I am not worthy to write this blog. Why did this come in my path? Are you asking me to do this, or is it my way to not feel like I am wasting my life? I say I want to serve You, but does my life really display that as reality? Or am I just wanting to feel good about myself?

I don’t think I can do this blog. I don’t want to do this blog. I don’t feel like I have anything worthy to say that could do any real good in anyone’s life.

Is this Your way of telling me to quit the blog or is Satan trying to dim Your light in my life? It is easy for me to believe the latter because this seems like something that would honor You, but at the same time, I have so distanced myself from You over my years of bitterness that I don’t know if I can always accurately discern Your voice anymore.

I wonder sometimes if I should give up working with Trades of Hope, too, because I have failed so miserably in representing them & in supporting my team. I wonder sometimes if I should quit my Facebook page community because I am so scattered & not always professional & others seem to not even be interested in it. I want to quit this blog because I wonder what good I could realistically do for You.

I feel like a failure at everything I try to do for You. Does this mean You don’t want me doing it? Or are You trying to teach me to rely on You instead of myself?

Show me what You want from me. Make Your voice clear amidst the insecurities & fears & facing the unknown. Show me what YOU want from me.

I know that oftentimes, we like to jump to do good & claim that it’s Your will when You might have a completely different plan for us that we’re avoiding because we think we have already figured things out for You.

I don’t want that. I want YOUR will. I want to shine YOUR light. Not mine.

I feel so conflicted that I just want to slam my laptop shut & never try blogging again.

I want to quit Trades of Hope & blogging & doing LIVE videos & all of it.

I don’t want to feel this conflict anymore. It was easier when I did nothing.

I want to sit on the couch & try to tune out the hurts in the world. I want to stay in pjs & watch tv & try not to care. I want so badly to be comfortable!

But then it isn’t any easier when I do nothing because I feel the pain of seeing a hurting world pass me by & then knowing I am doing nothing to make it any better.

I am a mess. I don’t deserve to be used by You. I don’t deserve for anyone to listen to me.

I have scars & a past & insecurities & weaknesses & areas of intense pride & I struggle being gracious to the flaws of others & I constantly choose comfort over You or the people of this world that You love so much who are hurting so much.

I don’t deserve to be a part of anything You are doing in this world.

I just want to be used by You & I don’t know how.

I don’t know how, God. Please show me Your will.

I don’t want to just do things that make me feel good about myself. I want to do Your will. I want to follow Your call. I want to join in where You are already working.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

Whether I quit this blog or whether You ask me to continue writing & continue allowing myself to be vulnerable for all the world to judge. Shine through it. Even if you ask me to do something harder than this. Your will. Not mine.

I am tired of making excuses & hiding from what I don’t yet know or understand.

Be the Light & shine a path for me.

Use me how You will, God. Make me Your vessel. Shine through my brokenness. Make me Your ambassador.

Show me Your will.

I am tired of trying to force goodness. I am tired of fighting against my excuses. I am tired of trying to be strong on my own. I am tired of being dragged down by the idol of Comfort. I am tired of living for me. I am tired of fighting You.

True strength & power & wisdom & peace & GOODNESS comes from You ALONE. Help me to stop trying to create it on my own, in my own strength. Help me to submit & to draw near to You.

Whatever is holding me back from Your will, remove it. Wherever I am hiding away, expose it with Your Truth. Wash me. Cleanse me. Renew my heart & mind & draw me back to Yourself.

I want to know You. I want to serve You out of LOVE & devotion. I want others to know Your love through how I live & how I love others. I want to be self-disciplined & productive in Your kingdom. I want to serve others by expressing Your love for them. I want a real faith defined by real action. I want to know & love You more.

Don’t give up on me.

In Jesus’ Powerful Name,

Amen.”

The Truth

The Truth? I don’t have it all together. Satan tries to discourage me. But when that happens, I have a choice. I can either choose to give up & stay where I’m at… forever… OR, I can take those fears, those doubts, those insecurities, & everything else that tries to hold me back to GOD. Because that’s when the real change can happen. That’s where the power is. Don’t give up… Give it to God.

Shine Hope, Lovelies. And don’t you ever give up.

Coming Up

This Thursday is time for our Special Feature blog post for this month! Check back Thursday morning for Part 2 of “A Love Story”! To catch up with Part 1 before Thursday, read it here.

Also, as always, check back next Monday morning for more encouragement.

I am praying that this reaches the women it was meant for. God sees you, Lovely.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Warrior Cuff

Empowering Women in India Out of Poverty!

This brass gold, hammered, stacked cuff opens in the back.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Empire Earrings, made by artisans in India.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Feeling the Weight

Have you ever felt broken, like you didn’t deserve a second chance?

Have you ever felt the grip of guilt or shame not loosen its grip?

Have you ever cried over past mistakes & felt broken inside?

Have you ever felt beyond repair?

Me too.

Looking Back

I have never been perfect, although I tried to believe I could be, or at least make others believe that I was.

Growing up in a Christian home, going to church a couple or few times a week, I felt the pressure to be good, even though I was not.

I felt like a fraud, pretending my way through church services.

I felt ashamed to admit the truth, guessing that my family would probably have a heart attack if they knew the real me—the imperfect me. The rebellious, stubborn, prideful me.

The doubting me….

Doubts Washed Away

I had so many doubts about faith when I was growing up. Church claimed that God was the one true God, but the world claimed other gods, each defending their own religions.

I didn’t want to doubt. But I did.

If you have read my story of “Hope is Found”, you will know what happened next…. You will see how God washed my torturous doubts away like a cool summer rain. He set me free to live at peace with Him.

I know Who the real God is, whether I always like how He does things or not—He is God either way & He knows best, whether I understand in the moment or not.

Turning Away

But again, this is a new day, with new lessons to learn.

Brokenness. Guilt. Shame. Past mistakes. “Beyond repair”.

You would think that after everything that God has taught me & everything He has brought me through, I would be courageous & bold & unwavering in my faith & pursuit to honor God.

You would think.

But, here I am.

Israelites = ME

The older I get, the more I seem to relate to the Israelites in the Bible.

The Israelites were God’s chosen people & God demonstrated His love & grace & power & forgiveness & PATIENCE through His relationship with the Israelite people throughout the Bible.

Basically, their relationship went like this…

God would make them promises, saying all they had to do was trust Him wholeheartedly & follow His will & way. They would worship & praise & follow & obey. Then pride. Then hard-heartedness. Then rebellion. Then captivity. Then cries for redemption….

And then God would save them in a powerful way… & then the cycle would start again.

In our well-meaning, naïve (*Coughproudcough) way, we tend to scoff from the sidelines & shout at the Israelites as we read of their rebellions springing up yet again, “What is wrong with you guys! God JUST miraculously saved you after the awful way you have CONTINUOUSLY been treating Him & have been spitting in His face… only to have you reject Him AGAIN??? What is wrong with you?!?”

Haha.

How highly we like to think of ourselves, at times… am I right?

I am just the same as the Israelites, there is no way around it. If not worse than them….

The Results of Rebellion

I feel grieved. Some days, I just feel so empty & self-loathing. I cry, remembering my rebellion.

I feel broken.

I feel empty.

I feel like a fraud.

I feel like giving up in trying to be or claiming to be anything else.

But.

God’s grace.

His mercy.

His patience & forgiveness & faithfulness & steadfastness.

He Doesn’t Shame Us, He Sets Us Free

As much as I continually am beating myself up lately, feeling completely unworthy of yet another opportunity to be forgiven & renewed, the fact remains… He is faithful & He forgives me.

As many of you have heard, I had lived in an ocean of bitterness for the past many years.

Bitterness at praying for a child, going through doctor appointments, being told it would happen any day, receiving gifts from friends for the inevitable day that never came, living alone, feeling like if I only had a baby to love & to love me, I wouldn’t feel so alone. And feeling hurt & betrayed by God when it never happened.

Bitterness at feeling the loss of my husband’s love that was never really gone, but perceived to be as we literally fought through our first year and a half of marriage, feeling betrayed by the loss of his companionship & feeling betrayed by God for bringing me to the other side of the planet, only to feel abandoned & neglected by Jamie’s demanding work schedule & inevitable resulting high stress levels.

Bitterness at being so eager to plug into local churches, only to find out there was little I could do. Bitterness at pouring my heart & soul into encouraging others, only to find out they didn’t need it as much as I did.

Bitterness at myself for never being skinny or pretty enough & bitterness for believing that lie.

I Woke Up

And then the wake-up call came & I started crawling, wounded, untrusting, back to God.

I claimed to know to pray & let Him be God, but I still felt hurt & hesitant to let Him in my heart. He had heard my prayers & my cries & my inward screams & He had not changed my circumstances.

I blamed Him instead of trusting Him.

Has that ever been you?

And now, seeing Him forgive me & feeling Him work on changing my attitude & renewing my faith… I just feel shame & guilt & hesitation.

Humility Rains Down

I am as the Israelites.

God has blessed me through more heartache & trials & doubts than I can name. He has guided me & tenderly loved my heart toward Himself in powerful ways I could not ignore.

He gave me great promise & potential.

I got proud. I grew hard-hearted. I rebelled.

And now I cry out to Him. Undeserving, broken, scarred.

Believing the Lie That Shame Trumps Grace

I struggle the most right now with accepting His open arms.

It’s almost like I want to punish myself for being unfaithful & for turning my back on Him.

His grace hurts because it is so contrast to the way I have treated Him.

It makes me see my unfaithfulness to Him more clearly. I can’t hide from my part in pushing Him away.

Beauty from Ashes

But at the same time, it’s so beautiful.

It is so beautiful to come back to giving my faith to Him… to come home to Him & to realize that He is running out to greet me like I never crushed His heart to begin with.

It is humbling. It crushes me some days as I punish myself, (without Him asking me to).

He wants me to lay all of my shame down at His feet. All of my guilt & shame & scars at His feet, knowing I don’t have to carry them anymore… because His grace covers those.

But I grip on to them, afraid of getting away with it & then doing it all over again.

But as you can see, that is another form of not trusting Him, right? Not trusting that He is able to renew me & teach & guide me.

I don’t deserve the grace He so willingly offers to me. Not again. I knew better. But yet, He offers it to me all the same.

Letting the Walls Come Down

I am slowly trusting Him with prayer again. I am slowly opening my heart & accepting the role I played in distrusting His sovereignty & endless love for me (for all of us). I am slowly taking those badges of dishonor & handing them over to Him to let Him heal those broken parts.

I am good at defending myself, even my wrongs. I am good at self-denial. I am good at pretending I don’t know better, when rebellion knocks at the door.

But God is breaking through those lies I told to myself. The lies that said I was good as is. The lies that justified my wrong behavior. He is showing my a clear picture of myself in the mirror.

And I don’t like it.

Working to Rebuild

He is not doing this to shame me, but quite the opposite. I can feel Him peeling away all of the layers I built to defend myself, telling me, “I see you, Michelle. I REALLY see you. And I still love you. I REALLY love you!”

Not the me I try to be, in proving I can be good enough. No. The me that can never be “good enough”, but is so deeply loved just the same.

And He feels the same about you. He sees your scars & your coverups & your denial… And He REALLY loves you… for who you are behind all of the masks that we use to hide ourselves.

When I rebelled, the truth remains that God never left. He never betrayed or broke me. I did that.

If I Had Never Left & Even Now

He offered me hope in my disappointment, comfort in my longing, & friendship in my loneliness… But I rejected it & spat in His face because it wasn’t how I thought it should be. How I thought I wanted it to be.

It is possible to be held captive by what you were once set free from….

But the other side is just as true… It is always possible to be redeemed by what holds you captive.

A Clean Slate. A Renewed Heart & Faith

God doesn’t keep track. He doesn’t tick away at how many times He will rescue you from yourself before giving up on you. He will never give up on you. He knows we are like the Israelites, prone to wander & rebel. And He loves us anyway!

He is also loving & forgiving & patient & kind & powerful & sovereign & faithful.

If you come to Him with a repentant heart, wanting to throw away the broken, sinful, ashamed, selfish, rebellious you & exchange it for all that He offers… He is always willing & waiting with open arms.

Run To Him

So, run back, Lovely.

No matter how far you feel you have run from Him. No matter how lost you feel you are. No matter how far gone or broken or torn down you feel. RUN BACK TO HIS OPEN ARMS.

He is waiting to welcome you home… Every time… No matter what… I promise.

So. Run. Back. Home.

And leave those awful pits of guilt at His throne. Trust His grace to be more powerful than your shame.

And let Him set you free.

Let Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me next week for the next topic of encouragement! Please pray that God continue to heal my heart & to keep me steadfast in seeking Him as I seek to encourage all of you to run to Him with all you are.

He loves you.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bombolulu Earrings

Empowering Women in Kenya Out of Poverty!

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, and become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Kenya!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Getting Real

Being “Authentic” is a tricky topic for most people, including myself. I think it’s tricky because oftentimes, we aren’t completely sure what is the “real” us.

This may not seem to make sense, because it sounds so ridiculous, but the fact is that none of us really know who our authentic selves are—not completely or accurately anyway.

That sounds pretty crazy, but hopefully after we take some time to discuss it further, it will begin to make more sense.

We Should Know, Right?

In all logic, it seems that of all the people who should really know who we are on the inside,  it would be us, right?

But how well do we really know ourselves?

Let me explain.

We all have our perception of reality. This is sometimes labeled as “our truth” because it’s how we personally see the world around us & also how we see ourselves.

But is it always accurate?

Probably not so much.

Here’s why….

For starters, we were all shaped as children, by our surroundings. This could include, but is not limited to, childhood trauma, for example. But it can also be something as simple as the ideologies of our parents & how we were raised, as a result.

We Are Shaped By What We Know

Something so awful can happen to us, or even a subtle wrong… And it can often become etched into our minds as truth, even if it isn’t!

A common example of this would be seeing a parent abandon the family, thus “realizing” that marriages don’t really work… creating a fear of intimacy or long-term commitment.

Another example is hearing how your parent describes someone of a different nationality, upbringing, or even judging based on outside appearances such as weight.

We will often grow up with a prejudice built into our brains, as a result of this upbringing, that we are not even fully aware of as wrong or incorrect.

Image issues, insecurities, commitment or other phobias, etc. can be etched into our subconscious so deeply that we may not even see them as anything other than “just the way things are,” because they are “our truth.”

Our idea of truth can be completely wrong, but feel so completely right because it is all we have ever known.

Family Histories Often Seem Like FACT

Also, considering how we grew up or even our family histories, it can be ingrained in us even further that that is just the way life is, & that there is little we can do to change things.

Because it has been approved or acted upon for years, or decades even, it seems to us as factual.

So who are we really? How can we truly be authentic if we don’t have a clear picture as to who we really are?

Perception Doesn’t Always Equal Truth

The other thing to consider is perception.

Perception is a tricky thing because it is just how it sounds—it is OUR perception. It is simply how we perceive things to be, even if they are not actually that way,

We may even have something happen to us or around us, & we might perceive it as a specific turn of events or as a memory etched in our minds, when really, we misinterpreted the situation completely, whether for the better, or for the worse.

For example, seeing a grumpy look on someone’s face & assuming they dislike something about you, when really, someone may have just done something awful to THEM & they were struggling at hiding their physical facial reaction, which just happened to be aimed in your direction.

I could list TONS of other examples, but I think we can agree that this sort of thing has probably happened to us & we have probably inadvertently caused this same situation to happen to some other bystander.

Perception is a powerful influencer, but it is not always based on reality.

So Much Out There

There are so many outside factors that shape what we believe about who we are, even if many of them are lies.

So, considering these factors, how are we supposed to know who we really are?

Do you ever feel like you are living life, the best you know how, but something just never seems to fit? Like you don’t WANT to be “like that” or do “that” or live “that way”? But it just seems like it’s “just the way things are?”

Or maybe it seems like that is “just who YOU are” & you can’t change it?

I have struggled against that angst many times growing up.

But I oftentimes convince myself to just accept it & to flourish despite it (instead of changing my idea of who I really am based on actual facts or truth).

What the Heart Wants

We want to be “real” or “true to ourselves” but we often don’t REALLY know what that even looks like!

How confusing.

On top of those considerations, we sometimes want or long for things that are not actually what we want in the long run.

We can be so convinced that we have found what our heart so longs for, & then be completely wrong about it. (Keep reading… Hope is coming through all of this!)

Take my experience with my first serious relationship. I was so convinced that he was the absolute best man for me & I was ready to accept a ring & start a life of endless bliss with him.

I wanted it more than anything I had ever wanted!

I was sure of my decision–More sure than anything I had ever known.

But when I prayed about it, something just felt off. I never received peace, even though I was so sure that I wanted to be with this man forever & ever.

Obeying When We Don’t Understand

I obeyed that nudging from God through my lack of peace & I trusted God enough to let go, breaking my heart as well as his. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. But I don’t regret it, because I knew God was behind it & I trusted Him more than myself.

But then I met my husband, a decade or so later, & I realized that God had a better plan for me than I had had for myself. My husband didn’t seem like my “dreamboat” from first glance, the way the other man had, but the longer we are married (six years now), the more he seems tailored to fit my weaknesses & insecurities & past & future better than I imagined possible.

Long story short, I am so glad that I trusted God above my own fierce desires & temptations to believe that my heart knew better than God a decade earlier.

The Bible even speaks to this, “The heart is deceitful above all things… Who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

“Be True to Self”

How can I trust myself to be “true to myself” when that understanding of myself is so often incorrect or incomplete?

And again (& in so many other verses as well), the Bible speaks to this: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You see, because we don’t fully understand ourselves the way God does, we can’t really understand what will help or benefit us in the long run… We only have a marred & blurry glimpse into what we think we want or need right now, in this moment.

But God sees the full picture. He knows you inside & out. He sees your comings & goings, when you sit & when you rise (Psalm 139:2). He numbers every hair on your head (Luke 12:7). He knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). He sees all things & knows all things. Your past, present, & future are laid out before Him.

He Knows Us

He can be trusted to know us better than we know ourselves.

And here comes another doozy… We all want to be liked & accepted for “who we are,” even though we ourselves often do not know who that is.

We shape so many behaviors in this quest to find true love & acceptance for who we are. Sometimes we highlight what we believe to be better about ourselves & sometimes we hide away what we believe others can’t love.

We want so badly for someone to “get us”, the “real” us, but oftentimes, we are left wanting more, because we may not fully understand what will satisfy that longing fully & completely.

But here’s the thing… We will never be fully satisfied on this “hamster wheel” of trying to be “authentic” & “liked.”

We were meant to find our satisfaction & identity & worth in Jesus Christ.

God Wants You to Know Yourself Through HIS Design!

God made you for a relationship with Himself.

God MADE you. He KNOWS you.

So take the time to ask Him about HIS design for you. Be willing to toss out all presuppositions, perceptions, passions, or longings to ask Him what you were designed for & to show you what will actually satisfy you the way you are so desperately searching.

Ask Him.

I went through the same process & I was amazed, awed, & so glad I did!

I have a long way to go & many areas that I excuse or hide about myself because I think it’s just a part of me, but God knows better & I refuse to leave it at my own perception or even my own ability to change.

He is bigger & wiser & stronger & more powerful & more loving & more ABLE than we will ever comprehend.

So, ask Him!

Ask Him & Don’t Stop Asking Him

Refuse to accept the prison chains that hold you back or hold you down.

Ask Him to let His Truth set you free—for Good! (John 8:31-32)

Don’t settle for a façade. Don’t settle for anything less than the beautiful design that God intended for you, Lovely. Ask Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me next week for more encouragement on michellehydeonline.com! See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Stardust Studs

Empowering women out of poverty in India & Jordan!

These sterling silver stud earrings hold a white opaque moonstone.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Through these artisan groups, these women in India have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education and healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured: Sea Glass Necklace from Jordan)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Just Start

Have you ever felt like you just HAD to start something, but you felt completely inadequate for it?

Or maybe you literally had to start something (ie. Parenting), but you felt completely inadequate & unprepared for it?

Well, that’s me with this blog.

Stepping Out of Comfort Zones

I had this spark inside of me that said I NEEDED to do this blog.

I saw the darkness of this world & I understood that the world needs significantly more hope & light in it, & then I realized that I had to do whatever it took to make that happen, even if in some small way.

Not because I am a good person. Not because I am so wise & capable, but rather because I am not–& because I realize that I am not.

I need encouragement just like the next person. I fail. I fall short. I feel weak & insignificant. I am not enough.

But the world needs hope.

They NEED it.

Hope is Like Oxygen-It Gives Life

And to keep its source quiet & to cover up the light that shines in my own heart felt impossible. People need hope like air to breathe. They may not realize it, but everyone needs it.

Because we have limitations & weaknesses, we all come to the end of ourselves at times. But we try to pick ourselves back up. We try to be stronger. And sometimes, we give up.

We need HOPE.

Like oxygen.

You can “hold your breath” for a little while, but it will catch up to you… that need for hope.

Realizing My Need for God

God has shown me the end of myself, frequently, in these last many months.

He has shown me how self-concerned I am & how determined I am to rely on myself versus turning to Him as my wisdom, strength, & direction (*& HOPE).

When I have crashed & burned, I have wanted to quit, throw in the towel, & just never try again. I have felt battered & bruised & flat out DONE. I have been selfish.

Have you ever felt this way?

God Knows I Need It

But here’s the kicker….

God knew I needed to get knocked down these seemingly infinite times.

Because you know what is happening?

I am realizing the hidden sin I harbor in my heart. I have noticed my blatant disregard for listening to or obeying God when I am not comfortable & happy.

I have noticed how selfish & proud I am with my life & my happiness.

I have noticed how HUMAN I really am, just like everyone else, & it is so, so humbling.

“Neither”

Another thing that struck me out of nowhere was a little verse that I was reminded of at church, in Joshua 5…. Let me tell you the story.

Picture this… There is a man afraid of an oncoming enemy, set on destroying them all. The angel “commander of the Lord’s army” comes to him & this man’s question to the angel is this, “Are you on our side or theirs?” The angel’s response? “Neither.”

Wow. Ouch.

What a slap in the face.

That reality hit me hard.

All for God’s Glory? Or Ours?

How often do we sincerely, honestly, without ulterior motives, request for us to honor GOD’s will & to glorify GOD in every situation?

How often do we pray, not for our own comfort & happiness, but for the freedom & redemption of others & for God to receive the glory in every situation, even if it means a lack of comfort for ourselves?

How often do we lay our desires & dreams & aspirations & desperation at God’s feet, lay all of it out as a request to God, & finish with, “but let Thy will be done”?

For me, lately? Not often, I admit.

It’s Hard to See Past What We Want

With my years of living in mostly solitude, with loneliness an ever-nagging cut in my heart, I prayed for friends & comfort & happiness.

With the hardships of living in a foreign atmosphere, I prayed for comfort & escape from the stressors.

With wanting to be a size two, so that I don’t receive constant perceived & actual criticisms & judgments from others, I have prayed that God make me skinny & pretty (Versus healthy & a good steward of the body God has given me).

With ever-unanswered prayers for children, I got hurt by God’s apparent “no” & prayed for it to happen anyway, through tears of frustration.

With the struggles of insecurity & inadequacy & fears, I have prayed that God would give me peace to just quit reaching out–so I could just be comfortable.

I am the poster child for praying my will above anything else & getting hurt when the answer is “no.”

Changing Perspective

And then that verse….

How often have I cried basically the same cry of frustration & desperation? “Whose side are You on!?!”

But. God.

I should, instead, be praying to learn how to live for GOD’S SIDE.

I Am the Clay

You see, we often overlook one very important thing when we pray…. God is SOVEREIGN.

He is GOD. He is the King of kings, Lord of lords, Creator of the universe, Redeemer of sin debts, Father, Lover of our souls, GOD OF ALL.

He doesn’t answer to us.

He chooses to bless us & help us & love us with blessings. He promises to be our strength & to give us peace & to renew our hearts & minds with a clean slate. He gives us SO MUCH.

But HE. IS. STILL. GOD.

Letting Him Rule Our Hearts

It’s hard to live in disappointment when you measure all prayers against that very important fact.

God is GOD & we are not.

How silly it is for me to tell God “how it should be” when He sees all & knows all & sees how it all fits together from the beginning of time to the end.

He knows much better than we do of what we need & what we think we need, but which will actually harm us in the end.

He is Worth It All

He is worth trusting.

He is worth laying all of our cries of desperation & longing at His capable & loving & all-knowing “feet”.

He is so so so so so so so worth it.

To Sum It All Up

So, here’s my encouragement for you today….

Do you have hidden (or obvious) sins in your life that you excuse away? Do you have dreams that are more important to you than anything? Do you have hurts that ache you to the core & make you want to stay in bed forever? Do you feel weak & incapable? Do you have longings that cut you deeply, even understandable ones?

Then lay them at HIS feet.

Do you trust Him enough to be Lord of your life? Do you trust Him enough to follow Him, hand in hand, through the storms of life? Do you trust Him when the answer is “no”?

Talk to God About It

Say, “God, I want this [or, I want this to end], but I know You are God & I am not. Help me to trust Your will & plan, & help me to trust Your goodness. You know my longing & hurt, but you are Sovereign. Teach me to trust You through this. Keep my eyes on You through the storm. Help me to trust Your way above my own. You have a plan. Reveal to me Your love & goodness despite Your response. To YOU be the glory, forever & ever. Amen.”

That is my prayer lately. As God has been revealing my depravity & the weaknesses that I too often ignore or excuse away, I have been learning to realize that this life isn’t about me… It’s about God. Loving & serving Him with my life to bless the lives around me & shine hope into their lives, is what it’s all about.

To God be the Glory

He is Sovereign. He knows best. May I learn to trust that to the very core of everything I ever believe or desire or hurt over. May I trust my Loving Father, the God of the universe. May He receive all the glory from my efforts.

Amen.

Shine hope, lovelies… But you don’t have to do it alone. God can fill in the gaps. Just trust Him with those gaps & do that thing.

Coming Next Week

Check back next Monday morning for my next post! I am praying for you. I may not know who you are, but I know God has a plan for your life & it is my goal to encourage you, so I am praying for you.

See you next week, Lovely!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Unity Necklace

Empowering Women Artisans in Haiti!

Upcycled beads made from glass and clay from Haiti’s mountains hang on a silver plated chain.

Artisan Information:

Haiti had this century’s worst natural disaster and is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of the orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths or natural disasters, but by parents who gave them up simply because they could not feed them. The group we work with is an “un-orphanage” and is helping with the orphan crisis by providing parents with sustainable business through creating products.

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Haiti!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!!

Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Us or Him?

So, here’s a charge to my Christian friends….

God has burdened my heart with an analogy that I would like to share, in hopes that it will encourage you to change how you interact with those around you on a daily basis.

As Christians, we hear a lot about, “let us glorify God today.”

… Sounds pretty holy & GOOD, doesn’t it…?

But do we ever really stop to consider what it is we’re saying when we pull out that little phrase, to “glorify God”?

Most Christians would agree that to glorify God, you should be kind to one another, be friendly, & try not to mess up (SIN) today. But is there more? Is there more to giving God glory than pleasantness of character?

What it Really Means

In reading Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free,” she challenges us to look at Scripture to see how IT describes the process of glorifying God.

Do you know how God describes the act of giving Him glory?

It says:

• … to make God known
• … to make God famous
• … to show HIM off [His love, His power, His forgiveness, and His might–not ours] to a hurting world

So let me ask you this, does being a nice person, smiling, being kind, being “good” & trying not to mess up do those things?

Do your good behaviors glorify HIM or do they glorify YOU?

What Do Others Say About You?

Let’s use this measure to help us determine the answer to that question... Do you typically hear these  responses when you do those things?

• “YOU’re such a nice/good person!”
• “Well, of course that would happen for YOU, YOU’re a good person.”
• “YOU’re such a strong person.”
• “YOU always seem to have your life so together.”
• “YOU have a perfect marriage.”

Hmmm….

Maybe There’s More

So that got me thinking….

How does one ACTUALLY bring GOD glory??

Now, I definitely do not have an exhaustive list of ways one can glorify God, but here’s a start… God brought an analogy to mind that I will call “The Tale of Two Cakes.” (I love food, so this worked well for me [Insert Your Laughter Here]).

The Tale of Two Cakes

The analogy’s foundation is that everyone eats ONE of two cakes. The FIRST cake will kill you. But it won’t JUST kill you. It will be a disgusting, bloody, terrifying, painful, excruciating, shameful, and unending (sounds awful, I know–but it is) DEATH.

The second cake will give you LIFE, HOPE, meaning, purpose, strength, PEACE, forgiveness, & LOVE.

Christians are eating the LIFE CAKE. They’re no better than anyone else, but they have discovered it’s life-giving ability through Christ’s sacrifice for our: sins, debt of wrongs, & shame–to give us new life in its place.

Everyone else… well, you get the idea. (HINT: They’re NOt eating the LIFE CAKE)

Our Efforts Can Fall Short

We all have had a friend come to us with a trouble, pain, hurt, trial, worry, affliction, confession, etc. And since we don’t want to come off as too “preachy”, we do what ANY “good” friend would do. We support them, of course!

I am sure most of us have said things like these:

• “You’ve got this!”
• “You can do it!”
• “You’ll be better next time!”
• “You don’t need that mean ex!”
• “Just try harder next time!”
• “Everyone fails & messes up, but you have to pick yourself up & try again!”
• “Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming!”
• “Never give up! Never Surrender!”
• “You got this, girl!
• “You’re tough!”
• “You can do it!!”

Aww, we’re SO nice…. Or ARE we???

The Truth Behind the Curtain

Where is the emphasis placed in each of those phrases as the source of their hope for change or for salvation out of a horrible situation or for redemption from shame or regret?

On THEM.

But you & I both know that we are limited. We are fallible. We have weaknesses & shortcomings & temptations. We fail. We don’t have infinite strength, wisdom, or will to carry on through trials & pain. We are only human, after all.

So, by placing all of their hope (or rather, pressure), on their shoulders… are we really helping them at all? Or are we making it worse… feeding the lie that if they just try harder next time, everything will work out?

Point Back to the Source

Are we pointing them to the true source of HOPE, by pointing out how ABLE GOD IS?

We are taught early on to give that “Go Team!” encouragement in times of trouble, but do you know what we’re doing when we give our “Go Team!” pep talk to encourage friends to pull themselves back up & try harder next time–without adding CHRIST as the true source of that hope?

Favorite Frosting? Mmmm.

Well, let me take a detour & describe it this way…. What is your ABSOLUTE FAVORITE frosting?

• Chocolate glaze?
• Whipped cream frosting?
• Buttercream icing?
• Homemade Cream Cheese Frosting? (I’m starting to drool a little, so I better stop, haha.)

So, imagine that you choose this favorite icing of yours… make a big, YUMMY batch of it, (since you feel so bad for them & want to make it all better, of course), & you lather it ALL OVER that DEATH CAKE of theirs.

**Ouch.**

Make it Matter

Because, without pointing them to the source of TRUE HOPE, do you know what you did for them with that pep talk? Absolutely nothing.

… Except to maybe make it easier for them to swallow their portion of their “Death Cake”.

… Because in saying those things, you are propelling the lie that we were made to & should be able to do this life on our own... That if we just try harder… That if we just try again… That if we were only smarter, stronger, wiser, etc. etc. etc., then maybe it will get better next time….

Bring It Back to HOPE

Did you warn them? Did you tell them about the LIFE cake? Did you point them to the FREEDOM of grace & the HOPE found in giving our cares to an able God who loves us & can set us free from the bondage of our wrongs?

Nope. You just hugged them & handed them back an even tastier DEATH CAKE & sent them on their “merry” way.

You (maybe accidentally, unintentionally) lied to them.

But God Forgives

I am sure we have all done it… With great intentions… But the truth remains that we sent them on without the hope that we hold in our own hearts.

It’s true… It’s a lie that Satan has been feeding us for ages past. The lie says,

• “You’ve got this ON YOUR OWN!”
• “You don’t need that ex (or CHRIST) because YOU’re tough!”
• “YOU’re enough (on your own)!”
• “You can do it (ON YOUR OWN–WITHOUT Christ)!”
• “YOU are strong! YOU are a warrior!”

But the Truth is, they can’t… They aren’t enough. And that’s okay. God can fill in the gaps as we entrust it to Him.

We Need a Savior–& It’s Not Us

On our own, there will always be another sin. Another failure. Another hurt. Another wrong done to us or done by us. Sin & Satan will still be in control–on our own.

BUT, please realize another important piece of Truth–God gives victory & He forgives US in OUR shortcomings as well. So if you’re guilty of turning friends away with a smile full of false hope… repent of it, ACCEPT God’s FORGIVENESS, & move FORWARD!

We have hope in Christ! Hallelujah!

How to Give “Life Cake” Instead

The important question moving forward is this, “How can you transform this “DEATH CAKE-DELECTABLE ICING PEP TALK” into a LIFE-GIVING message of actual, lasting HOPE?”

The simple answer? By giving God the glory He deserves!

How can we start offering our friends the “Life Cake” instead of trying to make their “Death Cake” taste better?

When You Grow, You Can Help Others Grow

Well, one way that comes to mind is making efforts of memorizing Scripture. That’s right, it’s not just for your OWN personal battles!

Truth is Truth.

The more our focus is set on Truth & the more Truth that we are consistently absorbing through the reading of God’s Word, the Bible, the more prepared we will be on the fly, when a friend approaches us with a problem, to tackle that problem with grace, Truth, & love.

And Pray, Always Pray

And pray! Pray with your friends when they come to you with a struggle–even if they don’t know Jesus. Because Jesus knows & loves them just the same, & He died for their shame & guilt as well.

God loves them, so let your friend know that fact & pray with them through it.

Making a Change

Now, say that same friend came to you, & during your encouragement pep talk, you threw in some Truth (AKA Scripture) along with it & then prayed with them.

Try something like this, “It’s okay to not have it all together! That’s why we need Christ! The Bible says that He is our refuge and our strength–a very present help in time of trouble. Put your trust in HIM as your hope & He will give you the strength & peace you need to get through it! Let’s stop & pray right now. You don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable, but please allow me to pray for you.”

OR “God tells us, in the Bible, that His love covers a multitude of offenses. That’s why we need Christ. Trials are a way to show us how much we need Him in our lives. He gives hope! Let’s pray about it!”

Now don’t get me wrong, you MIGHT get an eye roll or two–I know I have given plenty on the downlow.

But Truth is Truth. Be encouraged & stand for Truth, because it’s WORTH IT–And, they are destined to die without it.

Be a Living Testimony

And in the future, when you face a trial of your own & YOU are the one struggling & you share with THEM, you can cling to the TRUTH & say, “but I am so glad I have Christ, because His promises stand true,  one of them says “He is my refuge and my strength–a very present help in time of trouble. I need to stop & pray & ask for His help.”

Be a living testimony of how much God loves us & how He interacts in our lives during times of trouble.

So, when they see God work that very Truth in YOUR life, they will maybe want to start questioning that little eye roll they gave you before.

Sorry, But Our Goodness Can’t Save Us

You see, our goodness can’t save us long-term–eternally or otherwise, only God’s perfect goodness can do that for us & for our friends, through His gift of Christ’s payment. (*Read more on my Hope is Found page, here.)

I heard a quote once that said, “The way we, as Believers, live ought to cause Unbelievers to question their unbelief.”

Join Me in Giving God the Glory While Offering Others “Life Cake”

So join me in this movement to PRAY on ways to bring HIM glory & not to live for our own glory! To make God known! To make HIM famous! Not for MY glory, but for HIS glory alone, forever & ever, AMEN.

Shine HOPE.

Coming Next Week

A new post goes live every Monday morning! See you next week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Imani Necklace

Representing & Empowering Women in Uganda & India!

This stretch cord necklace carries cream and aqua paper-rolled beads.

Artisan Information:

We partner with the ministry founded in 2008 by then 19-year-old Katie Davis Majors (author of Kisses from Katie). This ministry feeds, educates, & encourages vulnerable children & families in Uganda. Katie goes into a slum community once a week to meet with artisan women, build relationships, lead them in a Bible study, & provide job training. Your purchase of this paper bead jewelry gives a bright future for women!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Uganda

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Sounds Good to Me…

We all like to think of ourselves as good people, don’t we?

Except for those low days that we may feel self-loathing, we generally feel like we are pretty good.

At least I do.

Maybe it’s because we help others who are hurting. Maybe we give money to people in need. Maybe we are generally pretty kind with others. Maybe we’re good at forgiving others. Maybe a million other things that are good things in & of themselves… But do they make US good?

I Like to Think of Myself

I like to think about my good qualities, & ignore my bad qualities. Weaknesses are a different thing altogether—I can acknowledge those pretty easily—but “badness” or evil or sin? Nope… I like to justify those into oblivion.

Are you with me on that? Do you also try to excuse your own bad behavior? Bad thoughts? Bad past (or present)?

Sometimes we are too busy comparing the bad with the good, feeling the latter outweighs the former.

Sometimes we are too busy comparing our badness with someone else’s whose is “worse.”

Sometimes we are just plain ignorant.

Sometimes we are too busy justifying our own actions to see there actually was a better alternative.

We all have our own personal ways of covering up the less appealing sides of ourselves.

The Pressure to “Be Good”

We sometimes feel pressure from others who expect better or seem better than we are, & we fake a façade to fit in or be liked.

But count on this… that evil is there.

I grew up in a Christian home & was taught from a young age all of the right things to say & all the right things to do. I was pretty much taught how to ACT good. But on the inside, I was just like anyone else. Rotten.

Growing up, knowing I knew all of the “right” things to do & say, I began believing that I was a pretty good person, compared to the world, at least.

I grew accustomed to subconsciously conducting a goodness check on myself, realizing that I at least wasn’t doing “that.”

But all of that was a lie I used to make me feel good about myself… justified… deserving of the grace God had given me.

HA.

Anyone else fool yourselves into thinking such things?

We Can’t Earn It, Sista!

Like we could ever earn the grace of God?

God tells us in the Bible that there is none who is good, no not one—[including myself—Michelle Hyde].

He tells us that our righteousness is like dirty rags.

He tells us it is by Grace that we are saved, through faith, so that no one may boast.

You see, when we believe we are generally good people, we are lying to ourselves. Flat out lying.

The Missing Piece

We are also depriving ourselves when we tell ourselves these lies.

How are we depriving ourselves? Because we are placing the weight of our redemption on the measure of our own goodness—continually falling short, of course.

There is freedom in recognizing our evil condition. There is freedom in realizing our complete depravity.

There is freedom in recognizing our lack of goodness because instead of trying furiously to maintain the right to grace, we can fall on our face before God & fully accept His free gift, knowing His love is so great that even though we don’t even come close to deserving it—He still offers it to us, even knowing us better than we know ourselves.

A Rocky Road with Zero Marshmallows

I have mentioned before that God has been taking me down a path of learning, to learn to rely on Him more than I rely on myself.

It’s been hard. (Hard is a huge understatement, by the way—imagine instead, me crumpled on the floor in tears some days).

It’s been hard because He has been revealing my own depravity to me. And that’s never fun. He has slowly been revealing my inward, hidden & excused-away SIN.

It’s a comfort to us, to feel like we somehow deserve the grace God offers us & to feel like we can somewhat control each situation on our own, without His help or guidance… But when God takes that lie away, it’s not so fun–trust me.

He has let me wallow in it at times, merely to show me that it’s not my own goodness or strength or wisdom that gives me victory over it—it’s His alone.

On My Own is Not Where I Want to Be

If He left me to myself… I would be just as capable of doing the worst things as anyone else… Things that would ruin me.

I am naturally a sinful person. We all are.

I like to look out for myself first. I like to think I’m great. I like to hope everyone believes I am so, so good.

But the reality is? I am just as depraved as the “worst” of us. And I am just as undeserving as the “worst” of us.

We All Need It

God is revealing to me my inward struggle. He is letting me see the shameful temptations & the awful, selfish attitudes that live in me. He is letting me see the NEED I have for HIS GRACE.

The even more beautiful truth behind this self-revelation is how wrong it is for me to gauge how deserving certain people are of God’s grace compared to others.

I don’t do this consciously, mind you—I am not a heartless, uncaring person—but it’s a natural thing to see certain sins or wrongs & wonder if they could ever submit to the grace of God–or maybe they just deserve it less than others.

But God…

But God does the saving, not us (Thank God!!!), & His redemption & grace covers everything, without discrimination of our past (Again, THANK GOD!).

Take Saul, in the Bible, for instance. He murdered Christians. A LOT of Christians. He was infamous for it & just his name alone could scare people to the core.

But God spoke to Saul, humbled him, & changed the course of history through his life. God gave him a new name—Paul–& Paul became one of the absolute most influential ambassadors of hope to the world.

God Does the Changing in Us

God changes people.

Let me say that again, in case you missed it… GOD. CHANGES. PEOPLE.

Not us. Not our goodness. Not our efforts. GOD’s. HIM, ONLY.

All we are asked to do is to take our sorry state of depravity, bow before His HOLY throne, & pour it all out at His feet.

We don’t have to become perfect first. We don’t have to prove our goodness or worth. We don’t have to offer sacrifices & earn our way into grace….

He Sees Us… All of Us… And He Loves Us

He looks at us. He sees our depravity. He sees the helpless attempts to hide our sin. He has compassion on us. He reaches out His hand & draws us to Himself. He changes us. He saves us. Him.

You see, He created us. He gave us free will to choose Him or reject Him. He never wanted to force us against our will to love or obey Him—that wouldn’t be love. But He knew before He created us, that this would create opportunity for sin—a rejecting of His ways for ours. He knew the hurt this would cause. He knew that we wouldn’t be able to fully ever wash ourselves from that sin & depravity to enter again into His HOLY presence. He knew all of that before He created us.

He knew that we would need a Savior. He knew He would have to send His Son, Jesus, to cover what we could not, in order to pull us back into His HOLY presence.

And guess what? He still created us. He watched us fall. He watched us try & fail at redeeming ourselves. And He sent Jesus to save all who would come asking.

We are lost without Him… Every single one of us.

God is Enough

We have shame.

We have guilt.

We have stains we cannot wash away.

We have hurts.

We have scars.

We have a “ME” we hide away.

But God is enough.

God is enough.

God is ENOUGH to wash it all away.

So, come to Him.

Lay it all before Him.

And let HIM be the Goodness & Redemption that your hungry heart craves.

Lay It All Down

We may be REALLY good at hiding our sin & our depravity—even to ourselves.

But God sees it. He sees it all.

And still He holds out His hand to us, an open invitation for Grace & Redemption. To become His beloved children. To be freed from the chains of our sin & shame. To live in His LOVE.

So, Lovely, take a moment to consider your own depravity.

You don’t have to cover it or hide it, because God already sees it & loves you anyway.

Just come to Him with it all.

Say something like, “God, I can’t. I just can’t. I try so hard to convince myself & others that I am so good, but we both know it’s a lie. I am so selfish, so proud, so undeserving. Please forgive me for my wrong attitudes, my wrong thoughts, my wrong choices, & the wrongs I have done to others whom you also love. Please forgive me. Change me. Help me become the woman you created me to be. Help me see the me You intended me to be. Wash me clean. Change me. Shape me. Forgive me. Be my Lord, my Savior, my Father, my HOLY GOD. Amen!”

That’s all we have to do to receive God’s grace. Lay it all before Him & allow Him to work in & change you into His beautiful vision of you. The old you washed away. The new you just beginning.

God Doesn’t Discriminate

God doesn’t discriminate based on “severity of sin” but rather loves us all indiscriminately.

So, come to Him, depravity & all, & let Him be the change you seek.

Let Him have the GLORY, forever & ever, AMEN.

Shine His Light of HOPE to the world, Lovely—SHINE HOPE.

Coming Next Week

To be honest with you… I don’t know.

I had a plan, but God seems to be washing that away, whether to show me that I need to lean on Him, or whether He has a different plan than I do, I don’t know. But I had nothing to say today, other than a prayer that God would use me as a vessel of hope somehow in the blankness of my mind today, & this is what came of it.

Stay tuned & pray for me. Pray that I don’t hide away from the hard lessons I need to learn. Pray that I don’t put on a façade of perfection, but rather bare my soul & weaknesses to the world, so that others may see His HOPE & not me.

Love you, Lovely!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Willow Necklace

Representing Women Artisans in Haiti!

Wear this hand-rolled clay and paper bead piece as a double strand necklace or detach one strand for a matching bracelet. Accented with micro paper beads.

Artisan Information:

Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who had to give them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children with them! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Haiti!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

A Quick Glance Back

A couple weeks ago, I began discussing the topic of “Living Love”. The first topic I discussed was about living graciously, with intentional kindness. (Read that post, here.)

Last week, I introduced the topic of loving people, even when it’s hard. I honed in on five different reasons that make it hard for us to love others. Those five reasons include:

1. Loving Our Enemies
2. Loving People Who Are Difficult to Love
3. Loving People Different Than Us
4. Loving Through Trauma & Pain (today’s post)
5. Loving When We Don’t Feel Like It (also today’s post)

(To catch up, check out Part 1 + Introduction to this topic, here.)

Today, I would like to finish off the topic we started last week of living love, even when it’s hard, by talking about those last two areas of difficulty in loving others—Loving Through Trauma and Pain & Loving When We Don’t Feel Like It.

Sometimes We Don’t Get It, & That’s OK

To begin talking about loving others through trauma & pain, I need to address this very important point—sometimes we don’t get it, & that’s ok.

Have you ever had a friend or loved one pour their sorrows on you, only to leave you feeling completely helpless & uncomfortable—squirmy even—eager to change the subject?

I know it has happened to me, & I know I can’t be alone in this.

We are called, by God, to share each other’s burdens. We are called to lift one another up & encourage one another, pointing each other back to the hope & promises of God.

So, then why can it be so uncomfortable?

Partly because we are caught off guard, but I think partly because we feel a pressure & a guilt to make all their troubles go away. And if we don’t know how to do that, we freeze & are left feeling uncomfortable.

Another reason is maybe we are personally strained or stressed, & taking on the strain or stress of your friend seems too much to bare.

Bringing Back Perspective

But let me bring everything back into perspective…

We ARE weak. We ARE insufficient. We ARE incapable of juggling or solving it all…

BUT…

Guess who isn’t any of those things? GOD.

God is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise, & all-capable!

HE IS ENOUGH.

So, when you feel the weight of the world crushing you to the floor, in the midst of the struggle, stop trying to carry it yourself!

And when a friend comes to you with burdens, take them to Him—right then & there.

If they were desperate enough to wear their heart on their sleeve, pour their heart out to you, & risk rejection through vulnerability—then it is important enough to step aside or stop right where you are & respond with this:

“Hey, I am so sorry you are facing this right now. Can I give you a hug? Can we stop right now & pray together? I may not know how to help, but God is big enough & He can bring wisdom or healing or grace to this situation, so let’s go to Him right now & ask Him for it.”

You don’t need to know all the answers—because He does. You don’t need to know how to fix everything—but God gives peace & wisdom & strength to those who ask Him.

So, ask!

Loving Through Trauma & Pain

So, keeping that in mind, we come to the topic of loving others who are hurting immensely, maybe more than we have ever or will ever experience in our lifetime.

It can be easy to be intimidated by the great pain that others face, especially when we can’t understand their situation & we feel like fools with nothing useful to say… And that’s okay.

Like I mentioned above, we really can’t fully relate to or understand others, & we don’t have to. God can give us the words. God can give us the strength. God can give us the wisdom.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of sitting silently with your friend or being a listening ear. Sometimes you just hold their hand & sit by them. Sometimes you just PRAY.

But keep showing up (or sometimes giving them space), keep loving them, & keep praying!

It’s Hard to See Them Hurt

Whether the pain or trauma is a chronic illness, life-threatening health condition, depression, anxiety, or a traumatic life event (or other difficult situation), take the time to listen to your friend. Let them know that you are not going anywhere & that it’s ok to not be ok—that they don’t have to pretend with you.

Pray with them & love them as they are.

Society puts a lot of pressure on seeming happy & confident & self-reliant, so when we aren’t those things, we feel broken & in the way.

Let your friends know they don’t have to fake it because you love them even in the storms of life—even when their life’s a mess & even when they feel broken & scarred.

God is Able!

Let God fill in the gaps where you are inadequate. Let God direct your words & let God encourage your friend through your words & presence.

Let God use you to be a light to them in their dark moments.

Because whether we like to admit it or think about it, we all have dark moments arise in life. There is sin in this world & that sin results in a broken world. Pain is inevitable at times.

So, trust God through the storms & keep on loving when it’s difficult.

Loving Others When You Don’t Feel Like It

There are two areas I want to touch on with this specific area. Sometimes we don’t feel like loving someone because of our own stress, strain, or pain, & sometimes it’s our own attitudes that keep us back from loving others the way we are called to love them.

Loving Through the Storms

Here’s a little mental picture of how life felt for me a couple times this past week….

Imagine trying to walk on stormy seas. The waves are crashing around you, loud & thunderous. The skies are dark & menacing, seeming to close in around you. The ocean water is seeming to grab at your heels, & you are so tired from the fight that you almost want to let it pull you under. Drowning seems imminent because you feel the fight being drained from your body.

But up ahead, you see the hand of Jesus, stretched out to meet you. You hear His tender voice saying, “I am here. I am with you. I am enough. I will keep you above the waves. Don’t focus on the threats surrounding you—only keep your eyes on me & you will be okay. Troubles will come in this world, but lo, take heart, for I have overcome the world.”

But it sucks.

The pain & strife & struggle & fight… they all suck… big time.

And sometimes you don’t want to fight. You forget that God is a prayer away & that He has strength for you if you but ask. But sometimes you just want the struggle taken away & it just isn’t.

But God is enough.

Don’t let insecurities, stress, struggles, fears, challenges, exhaustion, etc. keep your eyes off Jesus—because He is enough.

Let Him be your strength & keep honoring Him with your life, even when you feel you can’t. Because Satan will do all he can to stifle our opportunities to glorify God in this life, but GOD IS BIGGER.

So, keep your eyes on Him & keep shining His light through the storm.

Loving Through Anger & Strife

Sometimes our own pride gets damaged when someone says an unkind word or is short with us. The bad attitudes of others tend to rub off on us, don’t they?

And sometimes their bad attitude is directed toward us, & all of a sudden, we are left angry, hurt, & upset.

But other times, it’s simply a misunderstanding that can flip a happy situation into a confusing, upsetting spiral of emotions.

In those moments, we feel justified with our, “You apologize first!” mentality. But when both parties feel this way, things get stuck.

This is especially prone to happen when it’s with someone who is typically encouraging you toward Christ, because guess what? Satan hates it & wants to split up your friendship at all costs.

But, GOD IS BIGGER.

Keep those thoughts in mind next time, & love & trust God enough to ask Him to help you love past your hurt, misunderstandings, & anger.

He is big enough!

Ask that friend to pray out loud with you, even if you can’t look at each other while you do it.

You will be surprised of the healing, grace, reconciliation, & growth that God can bring through that painful situation when we entrust it to His wisdom & love.

A Call to Love

So, there you have it. Love when it’s hard. Pray when it’s hard to love. Let God fill in the gaps.

And when the storms of life rage on, keep your eyes pinned to Jesus & let Him guide you through the storm.

Because GOD. IS. ENOUGH.

Shine Hope… Live LOVE—even when it’s hard.

Coming Next Week

Next week, I have a special, unplanned treat for you. I want to talk about the secret to life. I want to share with you the not-so-secret key that fits all of life together.

… So, make sure to check in next week to see what’s in store!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Empress Necklace

Representing Women Artisans in India & Thailand!

This bib necklace is hand embroidered with an adjustable cotton cord.

Artisan Information:

Even though it is curable, patients with leprosy are often rejected by their families and villages. Due to the visible signs that label them as “lepers”, they usually end up as beggars on the street, often with their children at their sides. This group has changed this lonely lifestyle for these women. They have found a place of life, love, and dignity where they can take pride and gain confidence in their beautiful work.

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also Pictured: Stella Earrings from India & Royalty Wrap from Thailand.*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Sometimes It’s Hard

Last week’s blog was about Living Love Intentionally, but I felt I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t make sure to talk about living love, even when it’s hard.

Now, I don’t just mean with a spouse or romantic relationship… We are called to love EVERYONE, even people we don’t know well. (But this definitely can apply to romantic relationships in certain circumstances).

Loving someone even when it’s hard can have several meanings:

1. Loving an enemy
2. Loving a person whose personality or character is hard to love
3. Loving someone different from us, whom we don’t understand
4. Loving someone through a life or death situation
5. Loving when you really don’t feel like it (arguments, anger, hurt, etc.)

Now, I am not a licensed psychologist, so I don’t have all of the techniques down, but I do know that this is an area of great importance to God.

He loves us ALL, even when we are (or, rather, feel that we are) unlovable.

And because of that, we should all strive to love all people, whether we want to or not, because Christ first loved us (including them) & died for the sins (wrongs) of all of us (including them).

So, let’s talk about that for a bit & hopefully we can all encourage each other to trust this area to God more & to grow better at it as we go.

Loving an Enemy—God’s Perspective

First of all, loving our enemies seems like the absolute hardest thing to do, but God expressly tells us to do so, so it must be possible & it must be important to Him.

We are all enemies of God, on our own. We are born selfish & self-focused. We want what WE want & we want it NOW.

God is so patient in loving us through our stubborn pride, even when we figuratively spit in His face & turn our backs on His Truth, Promises, Grace, & LOVE.

There is no extent to His patience & willingness to extend grace to us. He is like a loving Father, waiting with open arms to welcome us home.

He also sent Christ to die a cruel death to pay our debt & offers freely a debt-free gift of His grace, if only we are humble enough to accept it. No strings attached. No conditions based on how wrong our actions or attitudes of the past were or what nasty secrets hide in our closet of shame. (Read my Redemption Story, here.)

He paid it all & forgives freely.

He loves the “unlovable.” He loves those “too far gone.” He loves EVERYONE.

And we are called to love them, too. Even when they are an enemy.

Loving an Enemy—in Practice

So how do we do this? How do we love someone who might be cruel, heartless, reckless, etc.?

How do we love the unlovable?

Through PRAYER, first of all! It is by no means natural for us to love someone we naturally want to hate.

Not natural at all!

But because God tells us to do so, it is definitely possible—just not by our own efforts!

So, if someone has hurt you, turn to God as your strength.

Lay your burdens & pain & anger & fear at His feet & trust that HE IS BIGGER than any evil you face.

Pray for that person.

Pray that God soften their heart & wake them up to repentance.

Pray that God give you strength & peace in the midst of the turmoil.

Pray that God show you how to be a light in that person’s life.

Pray that God teach you to be gracious.

And sometimes, if needed for personal safety, pray at a distance.

But PRAY.

God Can Do All Things

Do you know of Paul, in the Bible?

Well, Saul became Paul.

Saul murdered Christians as his mission in life, but God stopped him dead in his tracks, woke him up to the Truth & the MAJESTY of God’s POWER.

And Saul surrendered his life & became one of the biggest influencers for HOPE & LOVE & GRACE, of all time!

God can do anything. So, love that person by learning to be gracious (knowing you were once an enemy to God, but that He also offers you endless forgiveness & grace) & never stop praying for that enemy!

Loving the Difficult

Sometimes loving someone is difficult simply because the person you are called to love is difficult. Maybe they are a loud mouth. Maybe they gloat about doing wrong. Maybe they are crude or rude. Maybe they talk about others behind their backs.

Whatever the reason, maybe that person just straight up rubs you the wrong way.

I definitely understand that!

But also, maybe their personality just simply clashes with yours. Maybe they intimidate you. Maybe they just irk you.

Guess what, Lovely… We are called to love them, too.

Cue the loud, long *SIGH*.

I get it, it’s tough loving someone that gets on your last nerve.

But, reality check, God loves them, & so should we.

As always, start by praying. Pray for your attitude, because sometimes it’s simply your impression of them & we need to take personal responsibility as well & take the time to get to know that person past our perception of them.

Pray for that person. Pray that God show you ways to bridge the gaps & to help you better understand & love them the way God calls you to.

And be kind. Always be kind. And pray.

Loving Differences

Whoo, this is a big one, too, isn’t it?

We all like to believe that we don’t hold any prejudices, but let’s face it, Lovelies… that’s a lie that we all tell ourselves because the word “prejudice” sounds so awful.

And it is awful!

Prejudice comes in many forms, aside from the obvious hot topic of race, & it usually stems from simply not understanding where that other person is coming from & why they are the way they are.

Differences are scary sometimes, because we don’t understand them.

It can also take form when recognizing different upbringings, different personality types, different social statuses, different amounts of wealth, new money vs old money, culture differences, language barriers, large age gaps, etc. etc. etc.
It’s easy to feel different from other people—because we are all different people!

But God warns us against favoring one person over another, mainly because He sees past all of that to the souls of all His creation–& He loves us all just as much as the other.

It is reasonably tough to love someone different from us, mostly because it’s hard for us to understand what we don’t understand.

So, start by getting to know that person better—their culture, their upbringing, their roles in life, etc.

Learn to look through God’s eyes, to see them as souls. To see them as a person just like you, even though they’re different.

Living in Japan—Perspective

One thing I have learned from living in Japan for several years, (Read more about that on my “About Me” page), is that we are all essentially the same.

We ALL have hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, aspirations, a need to be loved & accepted, & most of all, a need for HOPE & GRACE.

Most of the Japanese may not speak my language. Their fashion may be somewhat different from mine. They may have a different lifestyle, history & cultural upbringing…. But they are all created by & loved by God, just like me.

So, strive to look past the differences & LOVE those who are different from you, as if they were just like you, but different. 😉

… to be continued.

Shine Hope, Lovely!

Coming Next Week

I wish I had time to continue on in this post for this topic of “Living Love-Even When It’s Hard,” but there’s just too much to say about this topic to condense it down any further, so make sure to check back next week, as we finish this topic & discuss “Loving through Other’s Pains” & “Loving through Personal Hurt.”

It’s going to be good—See you next week!!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Joy Ring

Supporting Women in Nepal with my Joy Ring!

This adjustable ring is made of intertwining silver and brass metal alloy and a white powder stone.

Artisan Information:

In many areas of Nepal, women are not considered equal to men and are vulnerable to sex trafficking. But the women making this product are earning an income and learning entrepreneurship, giving them confidence to break social norms! With every purchase, these women are provided with education, seminars on health, nutrition and also on women’s rights. Your purchase will create change for generations of women to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Nepal

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

A Quick Reflection

It has been so neat seeing God grow even me as I begin this blogging journey.

I began this journey expecting to inspire & encourage others, but as is true in most cases, the more I apply myself to pray over & encourage others in these areas, the more I inevitably grow & learn along the way.

Diving in Together

As you can probably tell from the title, “Intentionality Part 3”, I am wanting to park on this subject for a little while & really take some time to work through different areas of our lives where intentionality may be less than we hope.