The Night It All Began

I believe it was December 22 when the cough began, because that night I had a rough time of trying to sleep. I remember waking up in the early morning needing to use the restroom but had felt what I thought was my asthma the day before, so I didn’t want to get up for fear of triggering any coughing.

I prayed about it, asking God if I could have peace about getting up or if I should just try to go back to sleep & deal with my bladder in the morning so to make sure I wouldn’t disrupt my opportunity for more sleep that night.

Well, I felt peace about it, so I decided to get up to use the restroom, but when I crawled back in bed, the coughing fits kicked in & my sleep was no more.

Since then, I have wondered why God would give me peace about getting up, only to allow that to be my result, but let’s move on with this Christmas that didn’t go the way I hoped it would.

It Started Off So Well

Now, the whole previous week, my husband & I had the privilege to do something we had never done—Tokyo Disney during Christmastime. It was a fun trip with many happy memories & above & beyond blessings from God.

But, upon the morning of December 23, after a long uncomfortable night of coughing fits, it was now time to gear up to leave for home.

Maybe you might wonder why we didn’t decorate, or wrap presents before our trip, seeing as how we would arrive home at 2am on Christmas Eve following our Red Eye trip back, but let’s just say that not only was it a last-minute decision, but I had been sick, preventing clean up from both my birthday & Thanksgiving prep, making for much recovery needed in our home before leaving.

Our plan was to arrive home around 3am, sleep until Christmas Eve service at 10:45am, run by the store for a rotisserie chicken & some hashbrowns for next morning’s breakfast & dinner. Then come home to wrap presents. Jamie would decorate (usually his much appreciated contribution) while I would prepare food for Christmas day. I would bake cookies from a premade package. We would listen to Christmas music. And then we would drive to look at lights & go to dinner.

It was the perfect plan that never happened.

The First Crumbling of Our Dream Plan Begins

So, the morning of the 23^rd comes & let’s just say that neither of us were in a good mood. The day was not sunshine & rainbows. We were ready to go home.

Well, my cough worsens, to the point that I actually felt a little concerned about my breathing ability, wondering if I should attempt seeking medical help in a foreign country, but in true ME fashion, I didn’t want to bother with all of that fuss, so I just tried to make the most of it & get through it as uncomfortable as I was.

So, after my headache meds kicked in, as my insane amount of coughing had jostled my brain to feeling like someone had taken a jackhammer to it, I finally felt some semblance of normalcy & relief.

But that was not to last long.

Feeling Absolutely Crummy & Dampening the Day of Everyone Around Me

Between the constantly reoccurring coughing fits & the subsequent splitting headaches, I was just feeling done… & sluggish… & worried about potentially not being able breathe at any given moment… cough drops did nothing & my cough seemed to laugh at my inhaler… plus a notable lack of sleep the night before… let’s just say that I wasn’t feeling too great.

I wanted to be home, where I could feel physically miserable in private.

… Not the disgusted side glances. Not making people around me feel uncomfortable. Not blasting through others’ attempts at conversation. Not making people sitting near me get up a move to a new seat across the room. Not being persistently physically uncomfortable everywhere I went.

I wanted privacy in my misery.

The Punch to My Gut When I Was Already Struggling So Much

Well, after a day of this, the time of our flight arrived, only to board the plane, get to the runway, & have to turn back because something “wasn’t seeming right & they wanted to have it checked.”

So, we returned to the gate & had to sit on the plane for about an hour or more, only to hear the words over the intercom, “unfortunately, we cannot get approval to take off, so someone will be boarding soon to give you your options.”

NOT what I wanted to hear on Christmas Eve Eve & NOT what I wanted to hear in the current physical state I was in.

Our flight was canceled.

Our flight was the last one out for the evening.

It felt like a punch to the gut.

It Gets Worse

Proceed with about 4.5 hours of waiting for answers, waiting in line, being told hotels were hard to find & so were flights. (Jamie got online, thankfully, & booked himself just in case, rather than risking this—thank You, God, for nudging him to do this!) Then we’re told they’re closing the airport & kicking us out. More lines. Customs & immigration again. More lines waiting for reimbursement paperwork they could have just handed out. Then another line in the bitter cold (with a cough) for a taxi to a hotel for the night.

The aches had begun & at this point my whole body hurt. Standing in hour long lines several times when you’re really achy & sore all over is not my definition of fun.

We got to the hotel an hour after we were supposed to be home from our flight.

So much for our Christmas Eve Christmas prep plans. Our new flight was set to get us home at about 5pm on Christmas Eve.

It Was One Hard Night

Cue an entire night of coughing, no warm clothes because our luggage had been retained & we had dressed for a flight back to tropical weather. And no inhaler. And no cold meds, either.

Oh, & for risk of tmi, I may have peed myself about a million times because of my coughing fits & had nothing to change into, so I had that going for me, too… sitting in that, sleeping in that… & a whole other day in that. Just… gross.

I basically spent the night in the bathtub, refreshing the hot water every once in a while, to ease my aches & provide steam for my lungs to relax. I was a prune in the morning.

Merry Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve begins. The aches are worse. My cough is worse (to the point of a bad fit requiring me to briskly walk to the lobby bathroom at the hotel while we awaited the airport shuttle, so I could lean over a public toilet & throw up several times). Still sitting in my own pee. Plus, very little sleep AGAIN.

It’s safe to say I cried (as discreetly as I could) several times that day.

Well, as if the aches & the bad coughing fits & feeling gross weren’t enough, the crazy chills & incessant needing to blow my nose began. I was physically so weak & in constant pain all over & annoying everyone around me & freezing cold shaking.

Yeah, I cried a lot yesterday.

The Delays Seemed to Never End… Was Our Flight Getting Canceled AGAIN?

But it didn’t end there… unfortunately.

Our flight was delayed 3 hours.

Then another 2 hours. Plane is late.

Then another hour. New flight crew is needed to arrive.

It really felt like we were never going home, like they were just stringing us along for an eventual repeated canceled flight.

At this point, I was seriously expecting a riot, looking around for security nearby because people had started yelling & cussing out staff, saying, “I don’t want free WATER… I want to go HOME!!!” (Except with expletives added.)

I could relate to their feelings of desperation. I just really, really wanted to go home.

Then ANOTHER 30-minute delay… to brief new crew & prepare the plane.

Hope, But One of the Hardest Flights

We finally got on the plane, only to sit on the plane for maybe another hour. I was sitting there waiting for it to all fall apart again somehow.

But… we were cleared & took off! Yay! But we had warnings of turbulence announced to us a majority of the flight. (Which, thankfully, wasn’t very much at all, for which my motion-sickness self was so appreciative!)

I was the most physically miserable at this point. Crazy achiness, chills, coughing, blowing my nose constantly, feeling like a nuisance, in & out of consciousness (which I was so grateful for some sleep at least, even if choppy & inconsistent). I didn’t know how I would make it because I was that uncomfortable & hurting so much, but I had no choice… it was the only way home.

A Not So Merry Christmas

And finally, FINALLY, we arrived back on Guam at 12am Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas.

Well, I was grateful to have gotten a full night’s sleep last night, & that I am feeling a little better, & that my aches & chills have subsided & that I could change my clothes & shower… but I am definitely sick… & Jamie woke up feeling sick, too.

Merry Christmas.

No special Christmas Eve service. No wrapped gifts. No tree. No decorations. No baked cookies. No Christmas breakfast ready to pop in the oven. No special Christmas dinner (cue frozen lasagna). No merriment. Just 2 sick people in pjs, staying in bed most of the day because we just don’t have the energy to move anymore.

Merry Christmas.

God Gave Me Some Perspective

But I think back to 2 nights ago, in the hotel, when I felt so awful, crying in the bathtub so I wouldn’t keep Jamie up all night with my coughs… praying & asking God… WHY?

“God, why? Why did You give me peace to get up that night? You knew it would trigger my coughs, prevent sleep, & set me up on a weak beginning for a super hard day. Why did You allow that to happen to me? I know You love me, so I don’t understand why You could do that.”

And the answer came like a gentle, gracious breeze over my heart… a reminder that the original Christmas was not bright colored wrapping paper or holiday jingles or all about feel-good moments.

My God, Jesus, came to be born in a stable…. (Luke 2:12)

God, Who held all glory & power & majesty, chose to be born in a stable as a human being, surrounded by farm animals, dirty shepherds, & sheep.

He Came for Me… For You

And not only that, but He came to seek & to save the lost (Luke 19:10)… by giving His life for us. (Romans 5:8)

“In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:9-10)

“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:17)

“For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given; And the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6)

“This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.” (1 Timothy 1:15)

He Suffered Far Beyond What I Suffered for Me… for You

He was rejected by the very people He created & knit together. (Isaiah 53; Psalm 139:13-16)

He was rejected by the very people He came to save, being led like a lamb to the slaughter… for which He responded so graciously by saying, “Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

The reminder was clear: Jesus’ life & death was much more difficult than my miserable last 48 hours… & He endured it all with gentle, willing, gracious, loving patience for ME… for YOU… to save us from the wrath of God, the consequences for our sin.

Imagine never feeling physical pain because You are GOD & yet willingly being born as a man in order to die for our sins to offer us LIFE.

Merry Christmas

This Christmas may seem empty & void of any Christmas spirit, food, or festivities, with 2 sick people bed-ridden in an undecorated home… but I am so thankful He got me through the last 2 miserable days because boy were they HARD like I have not known hard for a good long while.

Thank You, God, for getting me through the last 2 days. I was in so much pain & I was shaking so hard & coughing so much that I didn’t know if I could make it. Thank You for the sweet relief of sleeping in & out of the flight. Thank You for keeping the motion sickness away. Thank You for the extra chance to get an extra crème brulé latte & their quiche which is one of my favorites. Thank You for nudging Jamie to be proactive & book a hotel & new flight while waiting in line so we had somewhere to sleep that wasn’t too far away. Thank You for the graciousness of the taxi line letting us cut because they saw I was struggling so much with my cough in the bitter cold. Thank You Lord for those sweet intermissions of relief I was able to experience so I could be encouraged to keep going. Thank You for getting us HOME!

And thank You for being willing to endure much worse… for me who deserves so little… for all who believe on You as their hope & salvation.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

When Christmas Doesn’t Go the Way You Hope It Will

Is this how I wanted to spend Christmas? Sick in bed after all that? No. But honestly, I am so grateful to finally be home that not much else matters really… & when I consider how Jesus went through much worse for me? It’s hard to complain about my really hard 2 days + a sick day in bed for Christmas… even when Christmas doesn’t go the way you hope it will.

Shine HOPE by remembering all that Jesus willingly endured on our behalf, starting with His humble original Christmas.

Merry Christmas, & to all a good night.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bumblebee Backpack (GUATEMALA)

LIMITED EDITION – Available While Supplies Last! Handcrafted in Guatemala, every 100% cotton Bumblebee Backpack features a drawstring closure and adorable yellow and black “rick rack” trim to create the striped pattern you see. The Bumblebee Backpack even features two adorable white wings!

*****This drawstring backpack creates jobs that help moms in Guatemala send their kids to school! Every purchase supports women in areas of extreme poverty in Guatemala.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

The Little Nudge That Wouldn’t Budge

About 4 years after I graduated high school, having completed 1+ years in community college, working at a job I enjoyed, promises of a promotion in the near future… God disrupted all my plans with a little nudge I couldn’t seem to shake away… a nudge to “go to Liberty University & get a Business Marketing degree.”

I didn’t understand where that had come from & I don’t know how to explain it other than the fact that I had this very strong inclination that I was supposed to “go to Liberty University & get a Business Marketing degree.”

But I was getting promoted… without any degree.

I was succeeding… without any degree.

So… I wasn’t so convinced that this wasn’t just a subconscious thing because I had always wanted to go to a university & live in dorms & all that.

So… as anything else I’m unsure of, I prayed & asked God for confirmation. Yet this time, I decided not to tell a soul about it for 3 months, as I sought God’s confirmation first.

I Wanted to be Sure Who Was Leading My Heart

I didn’t want to be influenced by, “Oh yes, you definitely should!” or “but how much money will that cost?” comments or perspectives. I only wanted God’s opinion.

Because I knew that if God indeed was leading this I wanted to KNOW it was Him rather than confuse it with hype from friends or family… if it was indeed God leading this, I knew He would somehow provide the funds & way forward despite any odds.

Well, the peace became more & more cemented the longer I prayed about it… as if it was becoming more of a certainty than a question or a doubt.

So, after 3 months of feeling absolutely sure I had full peace about it, I told my parents & God paved the way forward for me to finally see my dream come true of living in a dorm & having the “college experience.”

I started at Liberty University in the Fall of 2007 as an almost 24-year old sophomore.

So Many Blessings from My College Days

I can’t go into every blessing those years at Liberty brought me, including my many wonderful friends that felt like family–as the happy memories themselves would fill a book’s pages, so I will try to hone in on some profound moments, pivotal moments that shifted my perspective, as led by God’s leading.

I have already mentioned the breeze He brought on a particularly discouraging & frazzled morning, while standing at the bus stop—late for class. (Chapter 4)

I have already mentioned in blog posts past about a question my one particular friend used to frequently ask, which made me SO uncomfortable (because I felt put on the spot), but when asked so regularly, became the catalyst for me always having that mindset in my day-to-day: “What has God been teaching you lately?” (So blessed by that frequently asked question from my friend!)

The Inconvenient God-Orchestrated Blessings

I have probably ALSO talked about in blog posts past how, when I was on student leadership my senior year, God taught me to always rely on Him more than on my own schedule/responsibilities/routines.

For example: Big test, Big paper, Big presentation happening the next morning/afternoon… not enough time to prep alongside all of my other responsibilities as a senior… but one of several different girls on my hall would knock on my dorm door & upon opening, I would see tears in their eyes as they asked to talk.

Now, human me went into a full inner panic every single time because my options seemed to be: A) Sound like a jerk & say, “sorry, I don’t have time for you,” or, B) Risk FAILING.

But, in the middle of my selfish, short-sighted panic… I would stop & pray & ask God for wisdom on what I ought to choose & how to choose it.

And every time, the nudge was always the same: “What do you think matters most to Me? Your grade… or this young lady’s heart who is standing in front of you with tears in her eyes?”

*Deep (inaudible) sigh* was always my response, along with a silent, “Okay God, I hear You. I will just have to trust You to take care of the rest because I want to choose what honors You most here.”

I would put my studying, editing, or rehearsing/memorizing aside & welcome the young lady in for a chat, some counsel, some prayer, & a hug. And whenever this happened, I always had complete peace that this was what God had planned for me that evening all along & I was always glad I obeyed, despite my trepidations.

God Took Care of the Rest

And guess what… Every. Single. Time. God would come through on the other end.

Either I would have an unexpected quiet lunch & would now have unplanned extra time to adequately prepare, or the professor was out & rescheduled, or I was later on the schedule for presentations & would have another couple days to prepare, or the test would be easier than I ever anticipated & the extra studying would have been wasted unbeknownst to me!

God has a plan beyond what I can see, every single time.

The Infamous Test

Then there came the test. THE test. The test that counted for a ridiculously terrifyingly large amount of my semester grade for my capstone course.

Tests come easily to me typically. I am good at memorizing short term. I am good at focusing in when needed. Tests are usually a fun opportunity for praise & affirmation that I understand the material well enough. (If you are not a great test taker, please don’t hate me. Trust me, there are plenty of other things I am AWFUL at.)

But this test. THIS test scared me… mainly because my professor scared me a bit. That class frequently kept me on my toes, for sure..

The class was more complex & this teacher had a reputation for not playing around. His assignments were always challenging & thought-provoking, stretching your abilities & always leaving you feeling like you always should have prepared just a little bit more than you did.

I Studied Harder Than I EVER Had Before

So, I took this test VERY seriously. I studied SO HARD. Like, look up & take practice tests, go through every highlighted section of every chapter, study through every page of your notes, look more up on the topic to solidify your understanding… type of studying.

This was beyond normal for me. I always took my good-test-taking ability for granted. I would study, but more as a review than a panic. But this test was the monster of tests, in a challenging class, with a tough professor, that counted for a HUGE part of my grade… so I STUDIED.

The day of posted grades came.

I signed in so fast, heart racing, eager to be relieved that once again, I had nothing to worry about.

And as I scrolled to view the grade, anticipation mounting significantly… my eyes landed on the grade & my jaw dropped & the world seemed to stop to a dead halt.

47%.

The Shock

47%?

47%!!!!!!?

I felt like the room began to spin. I sat down on the floor, having the dorm room to myself, stared at nothing, & just began to cry into my hands, embarrassment & shame & devastation settling onto my shoulders like a weight I could not bear.

How?! Why?! What did I do wrong?!

My parents knew how hard I had prepared… how was I supposed to “excitedly call to announce another win after such diligent preparation” when I had gotten a 47%?!?!?

I was SO upset. I felt so embarrassed to have worked harder than I had EVER worked for a test in my entire life, only to be rewarded with SUCH a terrible grade.

How humiliating!

What God Had to Say

And so, I prayed: “God, WHAT HAPPENED!? You saw how HARD I worked for this! I did not take it for granted that I’m good at tests! I studied! HARD! What happened? What am I supposed to tell my parents? What am I supposed to tell my classmates? My friends who knew how hard I had worked on this? I am so embarrassed & humiliated. What happened???”

And after several minutes of this blubbering, despairing, embarrassed sob-praying… I felt His answer come over my heart with both convicting truth & comforting gentleness: “Who are you doing this for? For your parents? For your sense of pride & accomplishment? Or for Me?”

Boy did that hit me hard in the gut. The first 2 for sure… but for Him? Nope. Not really.

I wanted my parents to be proud of me. I wanted them to want to gush about me, or at least know they had reason to. I wanted to prove to them that I could do it & that I could be successful out on my own without their help padding anything. I wanted to prove myself.

I wanted to feel proud of myself. I wanted the praise & recognition & accolades. I wanted the good reputation of being a great student. I wanted to swell with confidence in myself & my own abilities & accomplishments.

But nowhere in my heart, aside from the very fact of me being there as God had led me, did I consider working as unto Him & not for myself or others.

God Has a Plan Beyond What I Can See

And right then, realization started to flood my thoughts:

1. For all I knew, God had brought me here to find my future husband & this was just how He got me here.
2. For all I knew, God had brought me here because there was a life lesson I needed to learn through someone here & this was just how He got me where I needed to be.
3. For all I knew, God had brought me here because He knew someone here needed Him & I was His messenger right for the task.
4. For all I knew, God bringing me to Liberty University for a Business Marketing degree had nothing to do with the course itself, but the lessons about life it would teach me, that He knew I would need for another life assignment later in life.
5. For all I knew, me being here at Liberty, by God’s design, had nothing to do with the classwork, but the people I would meet along the way.

And for me to assume anything differently is to say I think I know well enough on my own & to say that God is so limited by what I see right in front of me, in my own human understanding. Ouch.

I needed to understand that God has a plan beyond what I can see right in front of me.

Work As Unto the Lord, Not Man (Not Self)

How humbling a thought.

God knows why He has me here right now–with these particular people in these particular circumstances.

I see my marriage, my job, my simple interactions & think to myself “that is that.”

But God has a plan beyond what I can see.

That is why I must determine to work as unto the Lord & not man.

That is why I must fear the Lord my God AS GOD, recognizing I am far from it!

That is why I must trust His nudgings more than my own logic, perception, or circumstances.

Because God sees beyond what I see. He sees every ripple effect. He hears every silent plea that I don’t hear. He knows all & how it all fits together.

I don’t.

What Is Your Why?

“And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men….” (Colossians 3:23)

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

What’s your motivation? Who are you relying on? Do you trust God more… or yourself?

Who are you striving for?

This may sound intimidating, until you think about our last chapter here (Chapter 10). It’s not dependent on us being good enough, but on a heart willing to let God be God & let God lead & let God supply. He does the rest. Are you willing? Start there.

Shine Hope by trusting His lead always, understanding that you ought to work as unto the LORD & not man, knowing God always has a plan beyond what you can ever see.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Cranberry Spice Candle (USA)

LIMITED EDITION – Available While Supplies Last! Handcrafted in Wisconsin, USA, these candles connect women survivors of sexual exploitation to safe housing, meaningful work and a healing network of support. The Cranberry Spice Candle comes in an adorable, shallow gold-tone candle tin and has a festive, comforting scent that is perfect to gift to a loved one this holiday season!

*****Every purchase of the Cranberry Spice Candle creates jobs for women in the United States.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

They Just Seem “Better Equipped” Than ME

I don’t know about you, but growing up, I would look at my Christian leaders—Sunday school teachers, Youth Pastor, deacons, authors, speakers, & the pastor himself, & think they held those positions because they were a cut above the rest… that they were “extra spiritual people.” Am I alone in this?

Now, keep in mind that back then I only read snippets of the Bible whether looking up in my concordance for relevant truth to whatever I was currently dealing with, memorizing specific verses at church, going through a topical Bible study, or even sermons on Sunday mornings (& other services throughout the week). AKA I didn’t have the full context of Who God is.

So, even though, as you read through the Bible, it is blatantly obvious that the people written about in the Bible were FAR from the perfect examples to emulate & FAR from even being courageous, super spiritual people… it didn’t quite click.

I wanted to serve God, sure, but I thought that was reserved for people much more spiritual than me.

God Can Work through Anyone

Well, as I shared over the last 2 chapters, with purging things like music that I was turning to instead of to God in times of trouble (validation versus trusting God could be enough for me) (Chapter 8) & how I was retaliated against by a demon because Satan DID NOT like that I was putting full faith in God versus anything BUT (Chapter 9)…. As I continued my journey through the book my friend & I were reading through together—“Authentic Beauty, by Leslie Ludy”— at the time that spurned all of that… God taught me something pretty crazy important.

He taught me that God can work through anyone.

The Heroes of the Bible Were Just as Flawed as Me

It becomes a little more “DUH” to me now that I have been reading through the Bible pretty consistently (more on how that came to be in another chapter because at this point in my life—early 20’s, I hadn’t gotten there in my growth yet).

I mean, how can it not be so incredibly obvious when you look at unwilling Moses with his “please send someone else” speech troubles & fear (Exodus 4:13)—oh yeah, & he felt so desperate to right the wrongs done against his people that he killed an Egyptian in his anger way before God even called him? (Exodus 2:11-15) Or how about David sleeping with another man’s wife & then having her husband killed to cover up his shame? (2 Samuel 11) OUCH. Or Abraham & his wife thinking they would “help God keep his promise of an heir” by agreeing he should sleep with their servant AKA sin against God? (Genesis 16:1-5) Or Jonah straight up RUNNING away because he didn’t want to listen to God? (Jonah 1:1-3) Or Gideon hiding in a cave & asking MULTIPLE times for confirmation because he was so scared to obey God? (Judges 6:11-40)

I mean, the list can go on for quite some time & these are all people we can wrongly tend to put up on a pedestal. Key words: these are all PEOPLE.

They’re all PEOPLE. They’re not GOD.

If We’re All Flawed, Sinful Human Beings… How Can God Use Any of Us?

So, then, if we all share the common denominator of being merely human, with all of our shared flaws, weaknesses, sins, insecurities, fears, etc. then how can ANY of us be used by God?

Because if God calls us to do something in obedience to Him, He is not relying on YOU being enough for it, because He knows HE IS. You can be sure that wherever He calls you to obey Him, He will be the One to supply your needs to accomplish it.

God worked the miracles for Moses. God parted the Red Sea. God gave Moses the words to say. God gave Moses a partner to assist him through his apprehensions & fears. God led them through the wilderness. God guided them to the promised land. God fought for them. (Exodus 3; Exodus 14)

He directed Jonah, knowing the people would repent if warned. He patiently KEPT directing Jonah in his disobedience because He cared too much for the evil Ninevites to let them pay what Jesus would cover if they were to repent & turn to God from their many sins. (Jonah 4)

He forgave David & was the One who worked through this sinful man’s life. Despite all of his very human, sinful failures, he kept coming back to God, trusting God above his complete unworthiness. (2 Samuel 12:1-15; also, see many Psalms where David repents & turns to rely on God)

Then there is God working through Abraham despite his lack of faith & answering Gideon’s many requests for confirmation to patiently act in long-suffering gentleness toward his many fears.

I mean, PAUL?! Enough said about Him. (Acts 26:9-31)

It’s not the heroes written of in the Bible who hold the power for change through ministry orchestrated by God, it’s God Himself!

They All Served the Same Great God

Having that experience with that demon that I talked about last week REALLY sealed that understanding in my brain, but it kept developing as I learned more about God’s servants that did GREAT things, not because they were great, but because they all served the same GREAT GOD.

So, consider me writing these chapters, week-by-week to you, my readers. I am NO different. I am HUMAN.

Do you know how many weeks I have to scrape myself off the floor, so to speak, because I feel SO opposed to getting off my lazy butt & getting to the editing even? If you follow me on social media, you have surely seen my posts/prayers asking for God’s help through my self-centered rebellious tendencies to avoid this part of the process.

I like choosing ME. I like choosing COMFORT. I am SELFISH. That is the real me.

I have sass & am stubborn (my mom can attest to this from my childhood). Working for the LORD requires me to DIE to myself… to lay down WANTS for HIM.… To accept that where I lack, I don’t have to quit & run because I can stop & turn to Him for help to get me through it with His wisdom, encouragement, courage, & peace. I can rely on this same great God that the heroes of the Bible served & lived for!

Grace, by Definition, Is Underserved

This phrase came to me sometime in the last year or so as I was praying over how I could possibly obey His command to extend grace to a fellow Christian who was very unkind to me consistently for months. His response to those prayers? “Michelle, grace, by definition, is undeserved.”

I will say it again, “Grace, by definition, is undeserved.” My grace-filled life is not a claim to a rosy-glassed life, but rather despite my flesh that constantly rears up to war with my soul, God continues to be my Enough. He continues to suffer long with me. He continues to HELP me submit to Him, even when it makes me uncomfortable to admit as to how little willpower & a desire to submit to Him comes naturally to me.

So, after that demon experience, after finishing this “Authentic Beauty” book with my dear friend, I realized that my desire to serve God did not have to end with my endless inadequacies….

… Because any work He would call me to all depended on HIM anyway.

And He was (is) ALWAYS enough.

My Precious “Lilies for the Lord”

So, birthed from these realizations, I jumped headfirst into every ministry opportunity God placed on my heart, beginning with a small group of middle school girls that will always hold a special place in my heart, long after they’ve forgotten all about me.

“Lilies for the Lord” was my first ministry back around 2006/2007. A group of about 7 middle schoolers, all friends of my baby sister from various activities she participated in. Even back then, my heart cry was to design & run my own website for those too scared to openly ask questions, where they would have support even if their family wasn’t supportive of their search for hope in Jesus Christ. I didn’t know where to begin, but look how far GOD has brought me all these years later!

We met at my parents’ house, I believe every other week. (Friday maybe?)

There was a memory verse each meet, a white board with next week’s verse, sometimes a small craft, & a Bible lesson. We also did prayer journaling times where they could go to a corner alone & write out their personal prayers to God, practicing intentionally turning to God in prayer.

It Wasn’t a “Spot That Needed Filling in a Church Ministry” but a Proclamation That, as a Girl in My 20’s, Their Walk with & Hope in God Was What Mattered Most

Once a quarter, we did a sleepover with either a movie theater field trip or laser tag or something of the like. Then followed with games & maybe pizza & snacks & cartoons & nail painting.

I also tried to do an occasional outreach with them to help them think outwardly versus just their own thoughts, wants, & life. This included a full feast for a pastor’s wife who had a major surgery & was bedridden during recovery & another time we made a bunch of cookies, included a verse of encouragement on each plate & asked for names from their parents of families who were having a rough Christmas that year due to loss or injury or health issues, went to their houses together, sang carols, & delivered cookies.

My heart was to teach them that investing in their lives & faith mattered to me. Not because I was signed up to help at church because they had a spot to fill, but because ME, a servant of God, CARED ABOUT THEM & their walk with God Almighty.

To teach them that purity mattered. That compromises always led to pain, even if not realized until years later (more on this in an upcoming chapter).

To teach them that their walk with God & their worship of Him & their obedience to Him was the MOST important thing they could pursue in their entire lifetime.

I Serve a Great God Who Does Not Give Up on Comfort-Seeking Me

I’m not saying all of this so you can “Ooooh” & “Ahhhh” at me, praising me, just as I am sure the disciples of Jesus would be offended at being worshipped rather than directing that worship to the one they gave their lives for.

I’m saying all of this because I want you to see that it is NOT ME. I am NOT super special, super spiritual.

I am just a regular, sin-torn, fleshly human woman who naturally gravitates toward HERSELF, but who has seen God be her ENOUGH in all of her lack. All of MY lack.

It All Starts with a Willingness–“Here I am, LORD. Send Me.”

A willingness to say to God, “Here I am, God. Send me. I don’t know how. I don’t know what to do or say or how to possibly get it done because it’s ME we’re talking about here. But I want to obey You. I want to serve You. Show me where. Show me what I can do for You. And show me that You’re my enough for it every step of the way as I lean into You for help every step of the way. You. Are. My. Enough. Here I am, LORD, send me.”

Are you willing to trust HIM to use your life to bless others & point to Him all along the journey? Then be willing to pray & ask for God to show you how He can use your life, too, with His help.

He won’t hesitate to use a willing heart to shine hope to those around them.

Shine HOPE by being willing to live for Him, knowing He’s the One to fill in your gaps where you lack. Because we ALL lack. But He doesn’t.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Silver Labradorite Set (EAST ASIA & INDIA)

LIMITED EDITION – Available While Supplies Last! Save $9.95 when you pair the Tortoise Textured Hoops with the Silver Labradorite Bracelet to create a complete fair-trade look! It’s perfect for gifting or styling yourself! Beautifully textured, the Tortoise Textured Hoops have a mirror effect that makes the bright silver color shine! The dainty details of this Silver Labradorite Bracelet will bring an elegant look to your ethical style with its silver and labradorite beads and one silver tube bead.

*****Every purchase creates necessary jobs for women in India & helps rescue women from brothels in East Asia.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Paranoia & Chronic Nightmares

I had always been a paranoid kid, & that trait followed me as I got older.

I don’t know if it was the scary audiotapes my friends pressured me into listening to at sleepovers in 4^th grade or the occasional scary movie my friend would “trick” me into seeing by saying, “it’s not that scary, don’t worry.”

Or maybe it was the chronic nightmares I had as a kid–always the same dream with minor variations—all leading to death.

Whatever the cause, I was always a very paranoid person.

Forget walking down a dark street… or even a dark hallway. Nuh-uh. NOPE.

I would get chills, like someone was watching me… like evil was lurking around every corner.

It probably didn’t help that I was addicted to young adult murder mystery books, either. Nancy Drew, anyone?

But here I was, a paranoid person… & in one night, all of that changed.

I Asked God to Try My Faith…

The night of my burning ceremony (see last chapter for the full story: Chapter 8), & deciding that I no longer wanted to rely on anything else for validation… not music that made me feel validated for deep feelings of pain that made no sense to me… not ex-boyfriend notes that made me feel seen/worthy of love… not accolades from years past that made me feel good enough… just Jesus…. That night changed my life forever.

If you remember from last chapter, in my journal, where I was supposed to be going through the PDF of possible strongholds & jotting notes & prayers & verses that came to mind as I worked through them… all I could get myself to write were 2 little verses:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

“try me….”

Paranoia & Fear = A Weak Point in My Trust of God Almighty

You see, my paranoia & fear really showed that I believed, deep down, that dark forces (demons) could get me, when I should have been repenting of that lack of trust in God’s power reigning supreme & asking God to help me live as a conqueror in Him.

My paranoia displayed where I lacked trust in God Almighty to be Enough for me.

And that night, I would learn how GOD ALMIGHTY measured up to the dark demonic forces I feared so much.

The Night That Shook My World & Shifted My Perspective

I went to bed that night like any other night… probably still riding the high from our time at the park & making such a bold & firm decision to trust God above all else as my comfort & my hope.

You can guess that Satan did not very much like this decision.…

Well, the high didn’t last long. I drifted off to sleep & once again had another nightmare. Only, this time, when I woke up, the most terrifying thing happened that I have ever experienced in my life.

Paralysis Greeted Me When I Woke Up This Time

It was my habit, that when I woke up from my nightmares, very much feeling like it was about to happen in real life, I would bang on the wall & call for help because I thought we were actually in danger & I needed to warn everyone to protect them… to protect myself.

But sometimes, I would experience something called sleep paralysis, I believe is what it is called. Basically, when you wake up, you cannot move.

And this particular night, following my nightmare start from sleep, I could not move. My body was stiff & rigid & I could not even lift my arms up off the bed. I was seemingly pinned down by an invisible force. And when I tried to call for help… I found I could not speak… no sound came out no matter how desperately I tried.…

And That’s When I Saw It…

And as my eyes darted around my room, recovering from the nightmare that felt like it was real, trying to figure out how to call for help, my eyes landed on a dark black hovering shape between my bed & a window with moonlight pouring in. It was a very defined, very definite floating cloud of blackness.

And then, the voice. Inside my head. That was not my own voice. Dark. Deep. Menacing. A cruel, mocking male voice.

“You can’t move….” (mocking laughter) “You’re trapped & you can’t defend yourself, can you?” “Where is your big God now?” “He’s not going to help you.” “You’re all alone. With me. And I am going to take over you & you won’t be able to stop me.” (more sinister laughs, mocking me)

My Cry for Help

I tried with all my might to bang on that wall. I still couldn’t move.

I tried to scream for help. Still no words would come out. I was frozen & mute. I was trapped.

I started to cry & pray for help.

“God isn’t going to help you. Do you see Him anywhere? No. He’s not coming. You’re alone. I have control. No one is going to help you. Ha, ha, ha, ha. No one is going to help you. There is no hope. I’m in control now.” All inside my own thoughts, but not my own voice… a menacing male voice, his cackling rattling inside my brain.

I begged God to help me as I strained against the paralysis & eventually, an arm… just one arm… broke loose & I banged on the wall over & over & over again, still mute, but praying, BEGGING God to help me.

I Had Never Felt Terror Like This

In answer to my prayer, my Mom heard me & came running in to check on me. I was sobbing & frantic, terrified beyond belief, & even as she turned on the lights & came running to my side, I could see the dark black cloud hovering next to my bed & I could still hear the mocking voice & laughter inside my thoughts.

My voice returned, but all I could muster was, “Help me, help me, help me! Make it stop! Help me!” as I tried to explain what was happening. And as she leaned over, looking at me with concerned expression, her face all of a sudden took on that of a demonic image of terror, as if the demon was projecting its evil menacing, threatening grin through the face of my mom.

I was afraid to look at her anymore. I was so terrified I couldn’t think straight.

And then, my cat came to see me, concerned & scared, wanting to comfort me, so I scooped him up as my movement was restored. But as I held him, every time I closed my eyes, visions of him lunging at my throat would repeat over & over again until I pushed him away from me.

My Mom Reminds Me Who Is Ultimately in Control

My mom turned on my stereo to worship music & grabbed my Bible with a concordance & she just kept repeating: “You can’t give him power! Your panic is giving him power. You have to remember that God is bigger than anything he can say or do! You are saved by God’s grace, a demon cannot take you. He is lying to you & trying to get you to doubt God. Do NOT let him! He has no power & he knows it. He is lying to you! Here, look up POWER in the concordance & let’s start looking them up & reading them one by one. You need to remember who is really in charge here, no matter what that demon may be saying to you. God is the real One in charge, no matter what!”

And she made me read aloud every verse suggested by my Bible’s concordance referencing God’s power, one by one, reading about God’s power & authority on heaven & on earth.

And as we read, the voice quieted & the fear stilled.

I Thought It Was Over

I don’t know how long we read, but I just had this strong feeling that I needed to read EVERY verse listed because I needed it right then more than I really understood.

After reading a good amount of time, maybe getting through 2/3 of the verses, I hadn’t heard the voice in maybe 10-20 minutes & my mom eventually prayed with me & went back to bed.

My eyes were beginning to droop, the tired grogginess starting to set in from the sudden middle of the night wakeup… &, feeling some peace & quiet, I felt like I was okay to stop reading, turn off my worship music on the stereo, & try to go back to sleep… so I did.

But as I turned out the lights & crawled back into bed & closed my eyes, I heard his voice again. “Did you think you could get rid of me that easily? (cackling) No. I’m in charge now. I’m going to take over you & no one is going to stop me. Where is your God now? Still hasn’t shown up because He is not coming. You belong to me now & there is nothing you can do about it.” (more maniacal laughter)

I Determined to Finish the Task I Had Set Out to Do… Read Every Last One

So, I sprang out of bed, flipped on the light faster than I ever had before, turned my worship music back on, grabbed my Bible, & I determined to honor that heart nudging that felt so unmistakable: “Read every last verse listed in the concordance that references God’s almighty power in the Bible.”

And I did just that, tuning out the cackling, mocking words as I read God’s Word aloud.

Reaching the final referenced Bible passages, nothing had changed….

But as soon as the last words left my lips, in my obedience to God’s nudging on my heart to read every listed passage referencing His awesome power… something beyond amazing occurred.

God’s One THOUGHT Held More Power Than ALL of Satan’s Tactics… Satan Cannot Even TRY Without Allowance from God Himself

In that singular moment, it was as if a motionless SWOOSH swept through my room. All the terror, unrest, anxiety, fear, etc. just evaporated in an instant & was replaced by this feeling of absolute POWER. Like NOTHING could touch me. Like I was COVERED. Just absolute, fully-encompassing PEACE.

You see, in that moment, with the evil, lurking, hovering cloud of blackness, the sleep paralysis & muteness when I woke up, the threats, the mocking voice inside my own thoughts, the nightmare….

God didn’t have to OUTSHINE the blackness.

God didn’t have to bellow LOUDER than the menacing voice in my head.

God didn’t have to FILL my room with a size greater than him.

God didn’t have to do anything other than THINK: “enough.”

A single THOUGHT from God held more power than ALL the tactics that demon used COMBINED.

A thought.

That was it.

Nothing else needed.

WOW.

God Speaks & Creation Comes Forth… God THINKS & Work Is Done… God’s NAME Has Power… Our Infinite, Almighty GOD!

You may wonder how God could speak life into existence? I don’t anymore. Not after THAT.

You wonder why I believe when the Bible says God’s NAME alone has great power? Because a singular THOUGHT from God held more power than ANYTHING that demon could throw at me.

God IS the ultimate authority. God holds ultimate POWER.

My understanding of Satan & his evil forces of darkness may have shifted from an annoyance that picks on me & tries to tempt me, to seeing he holds real, actual power—read Job if you don’t believe me.

But let me tell you something right now. In all of his tricks & terrors of acting so much more powerful than ME… Satan’s power isn’t even worth MENTIONING when compared with the power of GOD ALMIGHTY, KING of kings, LORD of lords, Maker of Heaven & Earth, Redeemer, Father, Friend… GOD.

I Was Now Walking with My Confidence in GOD

From that day on, paranoia was nothing. I had seen what Satan could actually do… the power he really had… & compared with me? Terrifying.

But I didn’t have to rely on me versus him… but rather him versus GOD. And in that scenario, he’s nothing.

From that day on, I would get that creepy, crawly feeling while house-sitting & I would turn to face the darkness behind me & say into it with a loud voice, “In the name of Jesus Christ, you leave me alone!” And it would dissipate as if it were never there in the first place.

And my dreams began to change. Nightmares would begin… fear would start to rise… I would begin to run… but IN MY DREAM, something calm & assured would settle over me & I would turn to face whatever tormented me & say, “In the name of Jesus Christ, you leave me ALONE!” And the nightmare would fade & be replaced with peace & I would continue sleeping peacefully.

God has power, even in our DREAMS! His power has no limits, so don’t limit Him with lack of prayers for His help!

Satan Is More Powerful Than We Imagine & That Is Why God Says to Take Seriously Our Stand & Preparedness Against Him

Yeah, Satan is more powerful than we often give him credit for with our little red man depictions in cartoons, seeing him as more like a nuisance than a threat.

But he is a threat. He is at work more than we accredit him. And because we think so little of him, we often think far too little of our need for God… & of God’s power… & of heeding God’s call to stand firm, armor up, & resist. (Ephesians 6:10-20; James 4:7)

We need the armor God supplies. We need to stand firm. We need to flee the devil’s temptations. We need to take it seriously.

God Is Greater STILL–God Is Greater Than ANY Darkness

Even more so, we need to take the power of God more seriously.

We need to stop taking Him for granted & thinking we’re just fine with Him as our backup versus our LORD.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, as Proverbs 1:7 says, for a reason. Because we NEED to live with the understanding & recognition that God is GOD… & I am NOT.

Live like you need Him.

Because you do.

Claim the name of Jesus.

Shine HOPE by recognizing that God is greater than ANY darkness… & that His name ALONE holds more power than all the forces of darkness in this world. Claim the name of JESUS!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Yeti Ornament (NEPAL)

LIMITED EDITION – While Supplies Last! This adorable, festive Yeti Ornament from Nepal adds a touch of whimsy to your holiday decor! Each ornament is handcrafted using 100% wool and traditional wool crafting techniques that have been passed down for generations.

*****Your purchase provides a woman in an area of extreme poverty with a safe job and fair wage.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Gaining a Sure Foundation

And there it was: I had surrendered my life to Jesus when I was just 5 (“Chapter 1“), gone through a whirlwind of doubts that sent my life into a tailspin, starting in middle school (“Chapter 2“), faced 2 of the darkest years of my life, only to discover that those dark years were a significant & sufficient display of God’s mercy & His truth (“Chapter 3“). All of my doubts on Who the true God were… were squashed. I now KNEW that I knew that I knew that HE was the right & only true choice for hope & heaven.

God had used that dark time to show me that if I had absolutely nothing, but I had Him… I had everything.

Hope was solidified. I was set free from my prison/whirlwind chaos of doubts. I was praising God for the darkness that had revealed Him as the one & only true light of hope. I now had a sure foundation on which to build my life.

A Forever Work in Progress

BUT, even though I had been a Christian (a believer on Jesus Christ as my HOPE from my sin debt to God, for heaven) since I was 5 years old & even though I had now had this magnificent display of God’s sufficiency, authority, & grace through the 2 years of depression being what squashed my years of unstable doubtings… I didn’t become perfect along with it.

I was still human (still am), which means I still made mistakes & had wrong thinking (still do).

Sanctification, the weeding out (by God’s Holy Spirit working in us) of the human nature/fleshly will, actions, thoughts, etc. & replacing them with that which honors & pleases God, is something that will not be completed in its entirety this side of Heaven. I will forever be a work in progress.

And although I strive to lay down or put away from me those things that dishonor or displease God, I am never going to be perfect at it. And the more I grow, the more I see my very real need for Jesus.

Failing Forward

We grow up observing the world around us & drawing conclusions & forming patterns of thinking that we don’t always think to stop & question whether they entirely line up with God’s will & way. That’s why we need His help working in & through us.

There are many instances throughout my life that I could very clearly see that while I would be tempted to drown in the ocean of my recognized inadequacies, God so graciously takes me one step at a time, in His patient, kind, gentle timing.

Sometimes, He didn’t even address the main thing that, looking back on, I would call the more important issue. He knew I am human & am flawed & have flawed human thinking. He took me one step at a time, patiently, kindly, gently. They weren’t the end-all-be-all for Him.

I think at times that I am more pushy with myself than He is with me. It’s as if He has this overarching understanding that “Jesus paid for & sufficient in that inadequacy, too,” that I forget sometimes. It’s just me failing forward.

Not Used as an Excuse When We Know What Is Right or Wrong, Though

Now, do not misunderstand me on this. I am not saying He excuses wrong thinking/actions as “not that bad” or that I ought to not take it seriously in my seeking to honor & please Him with my life because of Jesus covering it.

I am saying: If it is not directly a sin or an act of disobedience against Him, but merely skewed understanding or an immaturity in an issue that I still need to grow in… He is patient in leading & growing me versus, “YOU MUST UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING RIGHTLY RIGHT NOW, OR ELSE!” Sanctification will take a lifetime+ & He very well knows that.

He knows those things don’t change my status of rightness before Him because Jesus’ perfection & sacrifice on the cross covers ALL of my imperfections & inadequacies & lacking. He is my Sufficiency.

But it ought never be used as an excuse to continue on in what He does call disobedience or sin… because that is very obviously NOT honoring or pleasing to Him. It’s disrespectful & mockery to the gift for which He gave His all through Jesus.

Learning to Trust Him Every Day

So, in the months that followed my release from my spiraled depression prison, He spent time building my trust in Him in the day-to-day versus just counting on Him for someday Heaven.

I remember so many little things of this nature, but obviously, even a book series could not cover all the ways He showed up in my life, teaching & guiding me in His perfectly loving, gentle, PATIENT way. Seriously, emphasis on PATIENT because sometimes I feel like God thinks to Himself, “Michelle, how many times do you need to learn this lesson to not have to learn it again?”

I was learning to trust Him every day, not just relying on Him for Heaven someday.

God Wants Us to Know His Character & His Love for Us

Yes, God cares about our obedience. Yes, God cares about our sin. Yes, God calls us to love Him with all we have. Yes, God calls us to honor Him with our choices & do all we do for His glory. Yes, God says to avoid certain things because He knows it will harm us.

BUT, God also cares that we know His character & His love for us just as equally as all of that.

The problem is, sometimes it’s just really hard to marry the two. The tendency is to either focus so much on His call for obedience & holiness that we see God as a bossy, controlling Master, OR, we focus so much on His love that we excuse away our slack choices & wrong behavior/thoughts “because God loves us.”

BOTH are wrong on their own. We need both TOGETHER.

God Wants Me to Know HIM, Not Just One Side of Him

So, after He made it irrefutably clear to me, through those 2 years of dark depression, that He alone is the One, True God, squashing my doubts about His authority, His offered salvation, & His love for me once & for all… He then began to reveal more of Himself to me as I sought to know Him more.

I wanted to KNOW Him, not just casually, but personally. It didn’t happen overnight… it takes a lifetime+ of learning to obey Him & trust Him. (Hint: Obedience Grows Faith.)

And little by little, as I called out to know & love Him more… He lovingly revealed Himself as trustworthy, caring, & kind through small acts of love. Nothing extraordinary… except to me.

A Small Display of His Kindness

There was one instance in particular that stands out to me & it happened more than once.

I would be out shopping, come across a DVD I had been wanting ON SALE, would get excited… & then feel a complete void of peace about buying it.

I would scoff & think, “Oh, what, is this not good enough? Am I supposed to only buy boring movies now? Is this wrong? Nothing in it is really bad because there’s no inappropriateness in it, but I guess it’s not good enough? (I automatically always assumed God was a dictator guilting me away from any & all fun to “prove myself worthy”–the whole problem that led to my depression spiral–can you see how I never seem to learn my lessons the first 10 times?) Maybe I’m just imagining it because it’s not a Christian movie or something. Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe God doesn’t care. I’ll just get it. No, I can’t… something feels off & I can’t get over it. I’ll just keep shopping, keep it in my cart, & pray about it until checkout time. Then, I’ll decide.”

I would get in checkout, pray one last time, & still feel this wall of “don’t pass” aka a complete lack of peace about it & I would take a deep breath of resignation & say, “Ok, God. You win. I don’t get it, but I know You’re pushing back on this for whatever reason & I don’t want to risk disobedience if that really is the case here, so I won’t get it, okay? I won’t get it.” And I would tell the cashier I changed my mind on the DVD & move on.

God Is GOD. I am NOT… &, He Loves US

A week later? I would find that exact DVD at a thrift store for 50 cents OR a friend would have gotten an extra as a birthday gift & decided to give me the spare–like I said, this happened more than once & this was my thought process each & every time. I’m dense sometimes, I know.

God knew. I didn’t. I accused Him left & right when all He was doing was saying to me, “Michelle, I know everything. You don’t. I see everything in advance. You don’t. PLUS, I care about you. You can trust me, Michelle. I love you more than you know.”

He didn’t address the “whether I should get it” or the “whether it really was the best choice….” To look back & think, “wow, that was not the best choice for me to be making, but He let me make it knowing He is big enough to work through even my less-than-best choices.” God doesn’t jump to guilt trips, manipulation, shaming, etc. He gently, lovingly, & PATIENTLY guides us.

And oh how humbling that is!

He Is Not My Accuser; He Is My Redeemer

He is not shoving all of my shortcomings in my face, but rather, He is gently bringing attention to them one-by-one & walking me through them hand-in-hand, gently & lovingly sanctifying me, even then, all those years ago.

He knows it’s not a matter of my salvation—Jesus paid for that & I already accepted that free gift. Nothing I can do will ever earn & repay that. I am not enough. Period.

He knows it is not a matter of direct disobedience to His Word—AKA “I know the Bible says NOT to do this, but I found a loophole to enjoy it & ‘get away with it.’” That would make a mockery of His gift, a spitting in His face action.

But He is also not at all satisfied leaving me in my brokenness & He will always be diligent in fighting for me through His working in my heart, thoughts, & life. Because He cares too much for me not to.

Same goes for you, too.

Choose Him Today & Every Day After

If you have been rejecting or “putting off” accepting His gift, please stop it. You’re only hurting yourself. He’s worth it.

If you think you would be “missing out” by accepting His gift or living His way, that is a huge, fat LIE. He IS our fulfillment.

Our heart is so deceitful & wicked. We are bent toward sin nature, so it feels natural—because it is! But God is worth our surrendered hearts. He CARES for us & KNOWS what’s best for us. He can be trusted every time.

This was only the beginning.

Seek to Know & Love Him More… & He Will Reveal Himself to You

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7) He longs for you to know Him.

If you struggle to see Him in small moments such as my DVD instances, ask Him. Say to Him, “God, I want to know You like that. I want to trust You more. I want to live through Your help & guidance more so I can please & honor You more. And please help me to do my best to please & honor You even if I struggle. I believe, Lord, help my unbelief. (Mark 9:24) In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Doubting is not an excuse to sin or to live your way over His. Seek Him & You WILL find Him–He wants to be found by you.

Shine HOPE by being a living testimony to the fact that God CAN be trusted & He LOVES us so much more than anyone else ever could.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Festive Card Set (HAITI)

LIMITED EDITION – While Supplies Last! Send cheerful and unique Christmas wishes to all your loved ones with this set of four festive cards from Haiti with colorful hand-embroidered and printed designs on the front.

*****Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Haiti.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Growing Up a Christian

I really don’t remember too many specific things from my childhood, following the biggest thing that has ever happened to me that one day, back when I was 5. (You can read about that, here: “Growing Up a Christian–A Grace-Filled Life, Chapter 1”)

I remember some people in my life at the time. I remember memorizing Bible verses for treats at church. I remember meeting at the Boys & Girls Club because we didn’t have a church building. I remember some of my friends.

But I also remember loving my children’s Bible. I loved the pictures, which helped me visualize the stories of past events as told in the Bible. I loved learning about God, even at a young age.

I Was No Angel Child

Now, this doesn’t mean I instantly became an angel child. Our sin/flesh/human nature is still very much in us after we accept God’s free gift of Jesus paying for our sin against God.

I still made mistakes. I still made wrong choices. (Still do sometimes.)

But God was working in me, even as a little kid. I had an insight few seemed to be aware of in themselves. I was acutely aware of sin & others’ excuses for their thoughts &/or behavior–& that sense annoyed people sometimes. It honestly annoyed me sometimes, too.

I began to struggle as a child because the human, fleshly side of me wanted to serve me… but the new spirit in me, born of a new life in Jesus Christ, wanted to obey God.

I Tried to Be a Good Christian… Without God’s Help

Back then, I really didn’t understand the fact that God was my missing piece in this battle as well.

As a human, I can only get so far on sheer willpower. And quite honestly, even having the will to do something in the first place.

I didn’t learn this until about 30 years later, back about 5+ years ago, through Andrew Murray’s book on Prayer, that we’re NEVER meant to obey God ON OUR OWN. We NEED His HELP to do it!

If you look through so many of the commands in God’s Word, the Bible, you will notice they say, “by God,” “through God,” “by faith,” or “through faith.” Faith in Who? GOD! We need Him to help aid us in obeying Him. We need His wisdom, & His will to enable us to obey Him. We HAVE to draw from Him & lean into Him through prayer, aka asking Him for His help & trusting Him to be faithful to give it!

But I didn’t know that back then. And I fought without His help… & oftentimes lost the tug-of-war with myself.

Knowing Better, But Still Wanting Me First

Because I had this God-given insight, even at a young age, I felt so much pressure to live up to every bit of insight I received. I could see excuses clear as day in others & it made me even more aware of my own.

I called this insight my blessing & my curse.

It was a blessing because I had a sense at all times what God wanted of me & even of those around me. It was a curse because I didn’t always want to know. I didn’t always want to do it or felt I couldn’t live up to it to the degree that I was aware of it & I didn’t like feeling uncomfortable when asked my opinion on something only to have them frustrated with my response. It felt overwhelming & impossible… too heavy a burden to carry. And I wanted to be liked.

I became more frustrated. I progressively felt more & more like a “bad Christian.” I wanted to do what was right, but at the same time, something in me didn’t. I didn’t understand that. I wanted to be a normal teenager when it came to that age. I didn’t want to feel so convicted about everything around me all the time.

I questioned my salvation because of it. I began to fantasize about alcohol misuse because of it. I didn’t want this burden of always knowing what was right when I didn’t always want to follow it. I wanted to be a little more clueless & a lot more carefree. I wanted to fit in.

God Offers Himself to Us… Even Before Heaven

I didn’t know that God wanted to interact with me in my life… versus just getting me into Heaven because of Jesus. I didn’t know then that He both wanted to & could help me live for Him & obey Him. It wasn’t something for which He was expecting me to be good enough on my own.

I didn’t know how to lean into Him & draw from Him… or that it was even possible/offered by God Himself. I thought to be a good Christian, I had to do it myself & WANT to. (Philippians 2:13)

Prayers felt like making sure I said all the right words, as if it were some trigger to get God to do something.

I thought prayer was just about asking God to help me get what I wanted… & when that didn’t happen… I thought He was saying He didn’t care or wasn’t involved in my life.

It was very confusing to me because I greatly misunderstood prayer & God’s working/presence in my life. But God wants to be Who actively leads my life.

God Can Work Anywhere–He Is Never Limited by the Darkness Surrounding Us

Then enter middle school. In 7^th grade, I went to public school after being homeschooled my whole life (other than 4^th grade).

I want to be very clear right now that I am in no way demonizing public school, nor do I believe any of us should.

God can work anywhere, even in the darkest of places—much darker places even than public school. Nowhere is out of God’s reach to work in the lives of those who seek Him.

AND, God can use even the worst life experiences to shape us & to cause us to recognize our very real, immediate need of Him.

But, moving on…

My Faith Was Tested & I Didn’t Exactly Pass with Flying Colors

With being in a public school, I heard all sorts of opinions on who God was, how many gods people believed there to be… how many “ways to heaven” people believed there to be… all the while asking me a little question I didn’t quite know how to answer: “How do you know YOUR God is the ‘right’ God?”

I was unprepared. I was caught off guard. I was shocked. I was embarrassed that I didn’t know how to answer.

And all of a sudden, my faith began to shake a little. A crack had formed. Questions began to pile up. I doubted God.

From that point on, my life with God was defined by doubts, tossing me around like a rag doll at some points in my life. Life all of a sudden felt uncertain & unsteady.

I believed, but I didn’t know why… & that really bothered me.

I Thought It Was “Un-Christian” to Have Doubts about God… So I Hid My Questions

But I stuffed all of those doubts down because I felt like a “bad Christian” for having questions. My parents worked with the youth ministry team at church & everyone knew them & I was afraid that if I admitted I had questions, it would reflect badly on them & on my family… that maybe they all would wonder if I was even saved at all.

So, I pretended not to have those questions.

… Until one fateful day that forced me to face everything I had tried to bury.

My family watched Left Behind, & all of a sudden, I seriously understood the weightiness of the fact that I better know what I believe once & for all, because if I didn’t, the consequences could be absolutely & terrifyingly devastating.

Let’s talk more about what came of that next week…. (Talk about a cliffhanger, huh?)

A Grace-Filled Life

Aren’t you so glad that God is SO patient with us? I am!!

Shine HOPE by allowing & welcoming questions, knowing God is not scared off by them. Go to God with questions. Take others’ questions to God, in prayer to Him for wisdom & through searching His Word, the Bible. 1. Don’t be afraid of questions, but also, 2. don’t let questions be a door for Satan to use to help you question God Himself.

Remember that fearing God is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10). AKA recognizing that God is GOD & you are NOT, is the beginning of wisdom. And 3. don’t use those questions to fuel your fleshly desire for sin. Doubts do not equal worthy excuses to sin against God Almighty.

AND, ALWAYS depend on God’s help, asking Him for it & obeying, trusting He will be faithful in answering that. Your willpower will only get you so far… You NEED Him. And He WILL supply.

Amen? Amen!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nepali Nativity Set (NEPAL)

HOLIDAY EDITION – While supplies last! The perfect nativity scene to add to your holiday decor! Each Nepali Nativity Set includes three figurines, Mary holding baby Jesus, Joseph, and a little lamb. This adorable nativity set is handcrafted using traditional felt-crafting techniques that have been passed down for generations. *****Your purchase provides a woman in an area of extreme poverty with a safe job and fair wage.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

So Many Opinions

I get a lot of differing responses to the fact that I run a blog & my own website.

Some have expressed that I (just by the very fact that I write a weekly blog) seem smug or as if my reasoning behind doing so is because I think I am somehow better than everyone else. (Ha! As if.) Some seem to think I have NO business doing this because of how obvious a mess I am. Some put me on a pedestal I don’t deserve to be on. Some think I do this because I am a “good person.” Some think I just want the spotlight all on me. Some seem to physically be struggling to hold back an eye roll to my face.

I don’t know what your opinion is, & honestly, to risk being rude, it really shouldn’t matter at all... because NONE of that should determine why I do this.

What Motivates Me?

In fact, if it were completely my choice, I probably would NOT be doing this. I don’t think my writing is good enough. I oftentimes don’t think my post has anything “inspirational” to say. I feel weak & inadequate & honestly, it really highlights so many areas of weakness in me that I would much rather sugarcoat, brush over, & move on from in private.

I really needed to establish early on what exactly motivates me on this blog journey. The opinion of others? Or honoring what God has put in front of me to do–to consistently be a presence that points repeatedly to God, through Jesus Christ, as my only true hope–good mood, bad mood, good attitude, bad one… whatever. All to Him. All for Him. All through Him. To God be the glory, Amen.

ALL struggles, pain, & weaknesses have the potential to point someone else who is struggling similarly to the only place I have found true hope—God, through Jesus Christ.

Keeping My Dignity or Letting Everything Shine for Christ?

I used to wonder why I struggle with emotions so much. Why it can be so easy for me to get so low out of nowhere.

If you have not personally experienced a situation or depression symptoms or a particular flaw/weakness, it can be quite easy to raise an eyebrow, roll your eyes, & think to yourself, “Well isn’t she begging for attention at every turn?” or, “How has she not figured this out yet?”

Trust me, I am sometimes tempted to keep my mouth shut because SOMEtimes negative reactions from people are more common than prayerful, patient, gracious responses. And, let’s be honest… I want to keep some form of dignity intact.

God Has Me… No Matter the “Even If”

I used to cry & ask God, “WHY?!” Why do I have to drop so low out of seemingly nowhere sometimes? Why do things that seem normal to so many people have to feel like an all-out battle for me? Why does the darkness keep trying to take me under it?

And guess what, sometimes I still feel that way when going through a dark day. Truly.

But, as I was reading one of Paul’s letters, inspired of God in God’s Word (the Bible), he was talking about prison & going places where he was wanted as dead… & yet he faced them with joy & hope, because He knew God NEVER wastes our pain. He ALWAYS has a plan. He’s completely sufficient IN them. And in those places, Paul KNEW he could have a rare & beautiful opportunity to shine HOPE to people who would otherwise never come near him or bother to listen. He could share the hope of Jesus where few dared to go… & come what may, because of Jesus… he had Heaven to look forward to, knowing God had him no matter the “even if.”

And it dawned on me. When we go through hard things in life that bring us incredibly low, we have that same rare, beautiful opportunity to shine HOPE to people who would otherwise never care to listen about Jesus.

Even Here, God CAN… Even Here… There Is HOPE in JESUS

When you are brought to low places, other people in those same low places can get a glimpse that “EVEN HERE” God CAN. Even HERE, there is HOPE in Jesus.

Do I like having all of these hard situations, emotions, failures, weaknesses? Definitely no. But I can glory in the LORD & PRAISE Him for them because they take me to places where people can relate & can clearly see that EVEN IF… God is enough… JESUS’ sacrifice offers HOPE… REAL, I-CAN-COUNT-ON-IT HOPE.

Is it more comfortable to save face? Oh, yes. But is it worth it to save face? No, not at all. I don’t ever want to waste one of those rare, beautiful opportunities.

No matter what I face, even if it’s where I got to myself… I want everything to point back to Him.

Sometimes I Have to Pray for the Right Mindset to Bring God Glory Versus My Natural Wanting to Crawl in a Hole & Hide

I do not always have a good attitude about it right away, either. Sometimes, I’m like, “NOPE, this one is being kept to myself…” but then I realize: then what is the point of the hard experience if God won’t be glorified in it? I don’t want to waste it! Because, no matter how HARD something may be, He is ALWAYS sufficient in it. And not a just enough sufficient, but an overflowing sufficient.

Listen. I have been in some dark places. I’m sure many have been through way worse than me, though.

But in those darkest of places, even if mine seem trivial in comparison to your own… let my life be a constant reminder that you can look to Him & you can find HOPE there & only there.

Where Does My Hope Come From… from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven & Earth!

Sure, it may feel that hope is accessible in many different places & forms… but LASTING, no-strings-attached, covers ALL… HOPE… is ONLY found in Jesus. Periodt.

And no matter how weak it may make me look, or how pathetic, or whiney, or sad, or annoying, or “show-off-y.” I don’t care. I want everything in my life to remind you that HE IS WHERE YOUR HOPE COMES FROM.

Verse Reminders AKA Truth Reminders

“I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

“My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.

Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah (Psalm 62:5-8)

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son [Jesus}, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:16-17)

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, [or face suffering/trials], or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31) (brackets added)

My Prayer

 “God, I know I have the tendency to want to be what people want… to save face… to be liked… to appear strong & put together… to not make a scene & to stay in the shadows when I feel less-than… to not seem whiney… to not put all of my less-than”ness” on display. Forgive me for wanting to make it only about me… about my comfort… about my reputation… about people accepting/liking me. Please continue to remind me that my pain, my failures, my weaknesses, my struggles are all rare, beautiful opportunities to be brought low so that I can point to You as my only true HOPE in ANY & every situation in life. Use my weaknesses & failures to glorify Your name. THANK YOU for sending Jesus for us. We don’t deserve You. We don’t deserve our wrongs against You living for ourselves & by our own way, to be covered by & through Jesus. THANK YOU for not leaving our forgiveness up to us. THANK YOU for MAKING a way, through Jesus. HELP ME to be a light for You NO MATTER the circumstances. You are beyond worth it. BE my strength. BE my comfort. BE my refuge…. COME WHAT MAY. In Jesus’ Almighty name, AMEN.”

Rare, Beautiful Opportunities… In the Midst of Our Deepest Hurts & Struggles

What are you struggling with right now?

What weakness seems to creep up on you too many times to comfortably admit?

What hurts you?

Where do you feel alone?

What brings you low?

And how can those areas become rare, beautiful opportunities to rely on & point to hope in Jesus?

Will you let those hurts/struggles be wasted? Or will you use them to point to God as your truest sufficiency come what may?

Where can you use those areas to shine a light of hope in Jesus to the world watching around you?

SHINE HOPE by determining to not let your human struggle to go wasted… to use it all as rare, beautiful opportunities to give God glory.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Hand-Carved Acorn Set (INDIA)

LIMITED EDITION – while supplies last! This adorable set of three wooden acorns is meticulously hand-carved in India by women earning fair wages for their work. Each acorn features a hand-carved tag tied with satin ribbons that say: “gather,” “grateful,” and “blessed”. Made of eco-friendly mango wood, a fast-growing, sustainable byproduct of India’s mango fruit industry and the acorn stem at the top is made from antiqued aluminum.

*****Every purchase supports families in areas of extreme poverty in India.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Is It Really That Bad?

It’s easy to look at someone else’s situation & think to yourself, “Is it really as bad as they make it out to be, though?” Have you ever thought that?

Regretfully, I have.

Have you ever had someone judge you in that way? Maybe with a chronic illness or migraines or something where others may think you’re exaggerating? Regretfully, it’s a yes for me to this as well.

And to those of you who make conscious effort to give people the benefit of the doubt when you don’t understand or don’t see the validity of someone’s struggle… BLESS YOU.

(Note: If you are a friend who has confided in me, having context & backstory, as friends, makes it less likely I will doubt what you say… but I don’t have that context with people I don’t know very well–& that should make no difference.)

Always Extend Grace

A friend recently said in our conversation that assumptions are never a good idea & that (as I have posted about on here before), even if someone is hurtful to me one day, it could have been a very bad, off day for them & I was just the recipient of outpoured stress. Still not kind or okay, but it may not be their all-the-time view of me. It may just be that they’re stressed & I got in their path.

That’s one reason I believe that God stresses the importance of extending grace to others. You just don’t know what they’re going through. Was it right? No. But I can ask God to help me take my personal feelings out of the equation, have compassion for whatever is causing them to lash out this way, & I can pray for them. Always extend grace.

I’m Not Even 4o Yet… How Can My Body Hurt This Much?

Look, I’m not even 40 yet (although November is coming quickly!) & I already feel like I have the body of an 80-year-old woman.

I get it. I’m aging. The stereotypical jokes after 30 start focusing a lot more on the whole sore &/or creaking back you can get just from standing up from sitting. It doesn’t take much.

But this seems worse to me somehow. Like, commonly I can lean over to wipe a child’s short desk (I am an aide for a class with littles) with a cleaning wipe or PICK UP A PIECE OF PAPER & my back reacts like that “WOAH” wide-eyed shocked emoji. It seizes up with sharp pain & I almost feel as if I’ve gone & thrown my back out from PICKING UP A PIECE OF PAPER. Like, WHAT?!

Trying to Explain Something to Someone That Doesn’t Even Make Sense to Me…

And just like my sudden overwhelm of emotions that send me into sobs for absolutely no reason when hormones are going crazy before a certain time of the month… I have no legitimate cause to offer anyone for these pains.

Like, “Well, I don’t know. I picked up a piece of paper & my back stopped working.”

This is about where I get the slow eyebrow raise like, “you… what now?” And I want to just shrug & say, “Yeah, a piece of paper did this to me. I can’t even pick up a piece of paper that’s lower than table height or my back may decide to stop working. Not a ream of paper or a crate of paper. Just a single sheet. It’s really the leaning down motion that does it.”

Sounds legit.

And lately, when I turn (not even that quickly or forcefully), sometimes my back ribs will pop out of place for a minute, creating a sharp pain & being frozen in place until I can ease it back into place.

My body is falling apart on me, guys.

It’s Like… “I Promise It Hurts?”

And none of it seems legitimate enough to warrant how much pain it can cause me. And it’s also not at all consistent, so that really helps when I am trying to get someone to believe me. Thanks, body. Thanks a lot.

I get it when people don’t get it… when they respond insensitively. I wish I could say I didn’t, but I do. I have made similar assumptions about others based on my own observations & experiences.

Shame on me.

It IS Up to Me to PRAY

It’s NOT up to me to decide whether or not someone deserves my compassion. It IS up to me to PRAY for them regardless of my opinion.

I have been in seasons of my life, like last year, that were unbelievably hard (moving from a place I loved back to a place I opposite-of-loved, with all the preparations & planning falling out from under us each step of the way & just living on a prayer, literally… to then a tumultuous, displaced beginning here where we could not find a home in our budget)... And to some people, I probably looked like a weak person for struggling so much. It probably seemed dramatic & exaggerative… I get it.

And to top it off, my back issues.

I was desperate for a sense of HOME, to feel settled & I really needed compassion. I was a whole lot more vulnerable than is typical. I felt displaced & hurting (physically & emotionally).

I need to look past my view of a situation & be ready to pray. Not judge it’s deserving… just PRAY. God knows their need. God is able to help them. So, I need to pray.

Just PRAY Anyway

Sometimes it really is about-attention seeking for people. Maybe they just really are feeling alone in this world, rejected by someone they love & trust, displaced, a chronic illness, a diagnosis… their world feels like it is spinning out of control. Maybe they put on a brave face so they don’t have to explain their pain to everyone who asks… If someone such as this chooses to share with me their struggle… I ought to pray for them… even if from an outsider’s view it seems “not so bad” because of how hard they fight to hide the weight of their true inner struggle. Just PRAY anyway.

Sometimes they do cry & it seems like all they ever do is cry. Maybe it’s hormones. Maybe it’s depression eating at their sanity… maybe it’s a trial in their life they don’t let known for shame or embarrassment. Maybe they really are just weak-hearted. I don’t know. But it’s not my job to know. It’s my job to care & to pray anyway.

Sometimes pain is obvious & consistent. Sometimes it’s sporadic & hard to see. Sometimes people try to play tough, so when they share, they don’t seem all too shaken up about it. Some don’t bother hiding it. Doesn’t matter. I ought to pray.

Give Others the Benefit of the Doubt… & Pray

The loving, God-honoring choice is to give others the benefit of the doubt… & pray.

“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) (emphasis added)

It doesn’t have to appear legitimate for it to be legitimate.

It doesn’t have to appear legitimate for me to show compassion.

It doesn’t have to appear legitimate for me to give it over to God & pray for them.

Shine HOPE by choosing to be kind, caring, & compassionate, even when their hurt doesn’t make much sense to you… & pray for them… always pray for them.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Girls’ Education Necklace-Silver (East Asia/Haiti)

Girls’ education is the key to a brighter future! This dainty feminine, necklace features a little key charm plated in Sterling Silver and made by women rescued from brothels in East Asia. Ten dollars from every Girls’ Education Necklace purchase is given directly to L’École Royale in Haiti. We understand the importance of children’s education to truly end poverty cycles in areas of extreme poverty.

*****Every purchase sends girls to school and helps support a sex-trafficking survivor in East Asia with safe housing, health care, trauma counseling, job skills training, and dignified income.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

It’s Okay to Admit Weakness… It’s in Our Nature

Well, I think it has been thoroughly established at this point that I am a weak human. Now, to redeem myself only somewhat, I don’t mean this to say that as far as humans go, I am a weak one… but rather that, as humans, we are weak… & I am no exception.

I know this is counter-culture for me to say this & be okay with it. Our culture screams self-sufficiency as the goal, the thing to admire in someone…. But I disagree.

It’s okay to admit our weakness, because as humans… we ARE weak.

We Need to be More Okay with Letting Others Know They’re Not Alone in Their Weakness

I cannot even tell you how many times at this point that I have gone on social media to share my weakness of the day, whether it be a bad attitude or just feeling so BLAH that I don’t feel up to doing anything, or whatever else it may be that I am facing… & to then pray through it, leaning on God for help. It’s seems like God urges me to share my every weakness with the world in an effort to reveal Him as my true strength.

I have to tell you, my default is selfishness. My default is “look out for numero uno.” My default is complaining & whining & just wanting to quit when things get hard. My default is seeking out comfort. My default is wanting to be completely self-sufficient, not NEEDING God, but knowing He’s there for me “just in case.” Ha. My default wants to do what I want more than what God wants.

If you ever see anything different out of me, it is not because I am some superhuman Christian, or even that me being a Christian somehow makes me superhuman… Nope. But, as a Christian, I do have access to GOD’s superhuman strength & power.

But I still have to CHOOSE to surrender to His will & way & help, otherwise, my humanness is just as humanly weak as any other person out there, Christian or not.

I Don’t Just Choose Jesus, I NEED Jesus

The more that I grow, the more glaringly obvious my sinful nature & my need for Jesus becomes.

I thought I had to be good enough… not for Jesus to pay my debt to God really, but to be good enough to be in God’s good graces. I mistakenly thought it was up to ME to be faithful, obedient, etc…. in MY strength & MY willpower.

But I was wrong.

If you’re feeling tired in life right now, you are not alone. Judging by the memes & social media posts I see shared frequently, that seems to be a majority of the population right now, quite often including me.

But don’t let tired keep you fooled. You were never meant to be able to do this life on your own. You were made to NEED God’s help.

Ask God’s Forgiveness for Wanting to Do It in Your OWN Strength Versus Needing to Rely on HIS

That’s an uncomfortable concept to me, if I am being completely honest with you… which is why I know that I NEED to ask God’s forgiveness when I have a bad attitude, when I am grumpy & “done” with everything on a given day… because what that reveals in me is my not wanting to need Him.

I want to feel capable & strong & alert & self-sufficient & ready for my day, confident that I am fully capable to handle whatever comes my way, & when that’s not really my vibe that day, I feel annoyed & frustrated & tired with all of it… when I should be humble in accepting my human frailty & joyful in knowing that God is never fragile & He always makes Himself available to me (& to you).

God has proven Himself to me more times than I can count, though I try to document them as best I can through this blog, acting as a growing testimony of all He is to me & all He has done in & through my life. But I still find myself wanting to rely on myself instead.

God Is Capable of WAY MORE Than We Could Ever Give Him Credit For

I was the doubter of doubters, the key word being: WAS.

I know now what He is capable of. I have learned to trust that He CAN, even when I don’t see any possible way for that to be true. He is above me, beyond me. Thank GOD.

His ways are higher than mine. (Isaiah 55:9) He can do far more than I could ever ask or THINK. (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Do you know why the little repeated phrase in the Bible that says, “FEAR GOD,” (Proverbs 9:10) has become SUCH a comfort to me? Because it’s a reminder that God is GOD. And I am not.

Don’t Let Tired Fool You

Lean into God for help. LET Him BE your strength. Don’t let tired fool you.

You may think in your heart, “yeah, yeah, God is my strength,” as if to say, “yeah, I get it, He’s God & now I have His strength, so I should be able to do this.” NO. I am saying, “you may be a Christian, but you are STILL HUMAN. Take that humanness to Him, admit your limitations to Him, & ASK Him to be your enough IN it & THROUGH it. Consistently SUBMIT to Him AS your strength. It’s not just a once & done, but a continually laying down of yourself in exchange for His Godness to take the reins of your life.”

Seek & You SHALL Find

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.” (James 4:3)

If you don’t feel God filling in as you pray… being your enough in it… are you asking Him to help you feel self-capable again? Or are you asking to see Him be capable FOR you?

Are you asking Him to reinforce your will or way? Or are you submitting to HIS being done?

Shine HOPE by not letting “tired” have the final say. Trust that God is bigger & greater & mightier than your biggest, greatest, & mightiest limitations. He will ENABLE you to do His will AS you lean into Him AS your strength every step of it.

AMEN.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chai Crossbody (INDIA)

This gorgeous camel-colored Chai Crossbody Bag can be used as an on-trend belt bag or as a Crossbody bag. The removable and adjustable strap has a subtle block print pattern. The ethically made Chai Crossbody is handcrafted in India and features an exterior slip pocket, interior zipper pocket, interior slip pocket, and leather shoulder strap. The interior is lined in a tan fabric with a fun poppy print on it.

*****Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India!*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

The Never-Ending Quest to Feel Good

God never promised life would be easy. Sometimes that is a hard truth to swallow.

I think it’s easy to get the truth twisted on that point because our fleshly humanness is ever-seeking pleasures & comforts, while God asks us to find our satisfaction in Him & to seek Him as our Comforter.

I want things to be easy. I want to not have to struggle, feel tired (sometimes beat up because I feel so tired), feel anxiety (not worry, but overwhelmed easily—maybe an after-effect of all the many months of quarantine/social distancing/avoiding being around people?)… I want it to feel easy.

But God never promised easy.

Satan Plays off of Our Natural Desires

And in that, Satan likes to play. He knows we are humanly bent toward seeking satisfaction our way, in ways that seem right to us… so, because that’s natural for us to feel, he aptly chooses to play into it, convincing me at times that God must not care about me because I can’t seem to find that satisfaction I seek, though I try so hard to find it.

But the reason I don’t find it during those times is because I get under the wrong impression that “how can a quick prayer be more effective than ______________???” & end up looking to what “makes more sense” or seems “more likely to work.”

The Who Is What Really Counts

Seems nonsensical & “overly spiritual” sometimes to imply that a simple prayer is what will really help. But, we have talked about this before, haven’t we? God’s impossible peace? How He can wash over me with reassuring, confident, comforting peace just from counting on it to come from Him ALONE versus anywhere else. It’s crazy, but it’s so real. (Read my previous blog post about “How You Can Have Impossible Peace.”)

When we consider Who the prayer is directed to, it changes the whole narrative. The Who is what makes prayer so powerful, not the words you say or rituals you try with it. It’s not a “repeat these words & all will be well,” but rather a, “trust in HIM & He will be your all through it.” (Read more about that in: “Do You Trust in Prayer or in God?”)

Why Don’t I Pray More Instantly?

Satan doesn’t want me trying that. He doesn’t want us to discover that the greatest satisfaction, comfort, healing, peace, LOVE comes from a God we can’t even physically SEE with our own two eyes… That God’s power is SO powerful & mighty that He doesn’t have to show a huge, grand display to show Himself awesome & almighty... That even a PRAYER holds more power than any effort we can make or any solution we can try because in it we are turning to the One Who holds ALL power in heaven & earth!

Satan doesn’t want us realizing that God is the only real, true answer in all that we seek.

You see, God is always sufficient… & not just a “good enough” sufficient, but an all-fulfilling, all-you-need, always reliable SUFFICIENT.

Easily Sidetracked, Easily Fooled

I believe Satan TOO OFTEN. I am like the stereotypical, “la-di-da… BUTTERFLY!” type of easily-distracted-by-shiny-things person.

Like, DEEP DOWN, I KNOW God has MORE THAN sufficiently proven Himself to be enough for me… & yet, little fleshly humanness inner me thinks, “yeah, but it would feel really satisfying, I bet, if I just [binged tv, tried to numb over, avoid, anything-other-than-prayed, etc.] instead.”

Dumb. Dumb, dumb, DUMB.

It’s no wonder God frequently likens humans to SHEEP. I just wander right off & have to have God AGAIN show Himself my Rescuer… my Enough. I’d be surprised if He doesn’t roll His eyes at me every time at this point, like, “well, here she goes again, trusting something other than Me to satisfy her…. She’ll get there. Give her a minute.”

When God Doesn’t Give Me What I Want When I Want It

Oh, & then there’s the fact that when things are really, REALLY hard & they in fact STAY hard, oh boy am I gullible to Satan’s lies.

I so easily can go from, “God, You are AMAZING. I will NEVER doubt You again because You have ONCE AGAIN PROVEN Yourself to me! Praise You from Whom ALL blessings flow!!!” to, “This is hard & You’re not stopping the hard, so maybe You forgot about me.”

[insert face palm here]

Easy does not always equal good & hard does not have to equal bad.

Hard Does Not Have to Equal Bad

Hard can lead us into the arms of God, where our soul longs to be in the first place.

Hard can force us to recognize that the only true source of hope that works is God Himself.

Hard can make the power of God so incredibly clear to us when we find ourselves so completely in lack.

Hard can offer a clear display to OTHERS how great God really is, in stark contrast to their recognizing how weak you actually are.

Hard can offer a clear testimony to the fact that God can offer peace IN the hard & does not have to rely on REMOVING the hard.

Hard is often a very good place to be.

But it is hard.

God Never Promises an Easy Life-But He Is Always Sufficient

God never promises us an easy life-but He is always sufficient. He promises a fulfilling life, one defined by the fruit He grows in us as we learn to lean into Him in every circumstance &/or feeling.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

He promises to be our ENOUGH IN the hard.

Learn to have an “Even If” mindset. “Lord, Even IF it DOES stay hard… remind me that You are sufficiently all I will need through it every step.”

Shine HOPE by pointing to Him as your hope, especially when life isn’t easy.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Aro Earrings (EAST ASIA)

These modern silver-tone, double-drop hoops from East Asia are stunning and make a big impact! Each earring is handcrafted by a woman leaving the brothels of East Asia to create a better life for herself. Make a fair-trade fashion statement every time you style your Aro Earrings!

*****Every purchase helps provide income, counseling, education, and jobs for women who’ve been rescued from the brothels of East Asia.*****

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!