A Framework to Live By

Today, I want to talk about a framework of a life lived for Him, given in Matthew 5:1-12, otherwise known as the “Sermon on the Mount” or the “Beatitudes.”

We will only get through the first three this week, so make sure to check back next week for more! Let’s start by reading that passage.

Matthew 5:1-12:

(Emphasis & Brackets mine)

¹¹ Blessed are you when they revile & persecute you, & say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. ¹² Rejoice & be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Clearing Up Some Personal Misconceptions

I always misunderstood this passage in two distinct ways:

1. I thought they were just a set of random sayings, in no particular order.
2. I thought they were meant as if, “It’s good if you… because….” Versus “When you…, you’re blessed because….”

But, in a recent study, I learned a helpful way to look at this passage. When looking at a Matthew 5 commentary on enduringword.com, I learned to see this passage as a ladder versus a random set of quotes. (See that commentary, here.)

So, let’s walk through this ladder idea together, to see what it looks like to surrender your life to Him, live your life for Him, & hope in Him for your eternity.

“Blessed Are the Poor in Spirit”

Being poor in spirit means to recognize that you sin & that you can’t save yourself… that no amount of goodness can out-good the bad. It is a recognition that you need Someone else to save you (AKA Jesus Christ). (See my personal story about finding hope, here.)

It’s easy to go through life, trying to convince yourself that you’re a “pretty good person” but if you were to lay down that charade to realize that God knows every stray or lingering thought as well as sees every action of yours public or private, how long can you maintain that you are a “pretty good person”?

Let’s face it. You need Someone to save you. I need Someone to save me. We ALL need Someone to save us.

And that Someone is & can only be Jesus Christ.

Being “poor in spirit” recognizes that you have sin in your life. And it recognizes your need for a Savior.

THAT, is the first rung of the ladder… the first step in submitting to God… realizing your need for Him.

And the benefit of coming to that realization & turning to Jesus Christ instead, is that you join the “kingdom of heaven.”

“Blessed Are Those Who Mourn”

I always read this through the lens of, “It’s good that you mourn, because you will be comforted,” & I always thought that was a silly thing to say because I would rather just NOT mourn!

But, consider it like this, “When you mourn, you are blessed, because you will be comforted.” Sounds much more appealing now!

So, why mourn?

Well, stepping up on the next rung of the ladder in a life submitted to living for Jesus Christ, once we recognize our sin’s existence & our need for a Savior to rescue & redeem us, we naturally mourn.

It sucks to recognize how awful & sin-stained we really are.

We like to see ourselves as pretty good people & we feel reassured in that bubble, but once it’s popped, we are left feeling raw & vulnerable & pretty darn crappy, am I right?

And so, we mourn our wretched state.

But in that admitting of our wretchedness, we are blessed because God promises that we will be comforted. He doesn’t leave us feeling sorry for ourselves because He has rescued us from our sin!

“Blessed Are the Meek”

And this will be where we leave off this week, to pick it up again next week for the rest of the ladder… but for now, let’s check this one out.

I always viewed meek as synonymous with timid or pushover. I was wrong about that, too.

Meekness is more indicative of POWER or STRENGTH, but under control.

In other words, maybe you CAN handle something your way & your timing, but you instead choose to hand the reins over to God, in His way & His timing.

It is a form of humility, taking your strengths, desires, plans, will, way, etc. & submitting it to God, asking for God to be the Author & Guide of your life.

This is hard & our human nature screams to retake control, but it takes time & a lot of trying & failing & a lot of asking for God’s help.

Re-Learning a New Normal in Meekness

Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re fighting God for control because we have grown up doing it a certain way without a second thought.

The place to start with having a meek heart is to ask God for help over & over again.

My Ever-Repeated Prayers–Asking for God’s Help in Giving the Reins of My Life to Him

“God, here I am again. I feel so strongly that I want everything my way, even though my way never quite works out the way it does in my head. I always second guess You, even though I know that You know EVERYTHING & are supremely wise. How am I so dense that I keep having this power struggle with You after so many lessons learned? Will I ever learn? Or is this a conversation I am going to need to have with You for the rest of my life? *sigh* …

… I need You, God. I need You in even just helping me have awareness … so when I try to grab the reins again, You gently let me know. Help me see when I do it. Help me to learn how to trust You more & more. I know You have proven Yourself more times than I can ever remember, but God, I am so stubborn! Help me grow & learn….

… Thank You for Your patience & kindness & gentleness. Thank You that You understand me & keep working with me, never giving up, even though I earned Your abandonment many times over. You still stay by my side & never give up. Thank You! Thank You that You are all-wise, all-knowing, & all-powerful & that I can count on You in everything always. Help me remember that when I fight You. Help me see Your goodness again & again. AMEN.”

Those prayers aren’t literally repeated-I don’t have them written down for me to re-pray them. There is no power in what words I use. The power rests in Who I am talking to-GOD.

So, just speak your heart to Him. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Ask for His help. He is listening.

Self-Reflection

Take some time to see if you have gone up these 3 ladder rungs yourself.

Even if you slip from time to time, just keep moving in the right direction, not letting Satan lie to you saying imperfect progress isn’t worth it, because it always is, every time.

Keep trying toward a life lived for God, God’s way. And keep asking for His help as you do it… because it’s hard fighting our temporal humanness for God’s eternal blessings, but His blessings are always far more worth it than temporary gains of us winning the power struggle against Him.

So, don’t just struggle… ask for God’s help every step of the way… & every ladder rung taken. He’s got you, girl. He’s got you, always.

Shine Hope by asking for God’s help to live for God, God’s way. He’s always worth it & always able.

Coming Next Week

Next week we continue working up the Beatitudes ladder, found in Matthew 5, so make sure to join me then!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Mirage Earrings

With just a touch of glimmer these earrings are fun and easy to wear.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to being sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. Through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for artisans & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

How Low Can You Go?

Have you ever gone through something really rough? Like test-your-faith rough?

Have you ever faced a pain that made you want to doubt God’s goodness? Or whether He cared about you or even saw you?

Have you ever felt like your life was defined by the hours you spent crying each day? Like the dark clouds seemed to never relent? Like your dark days could never get darker but always did?

I have.

Pain Is Real & We All Face It

I have been through depression & times of constant, high anxiety. I have had my heart shattered into seemingly millions of pieces. I have fought against the trailing effects of trauma. I have feared a deteriorating marriage. I have felt unworthy of having children because I wasn’t given any. I have faced betrayal by close friends. I have lived through devastating deserts of loneliness where no one seemed to understand or know how to help.

I have cried out to God & felt unheard.

Hindsight Guilt

When I have emerged on the other side of those treacherously painful valleys by God’s hand, I have looked back with shame for doubting God’s power & goodness & love for me.

I remembered the nights of crying, “Where ARE YOU???!”

All my life, I self-condemned for those moments where my faith slipped, letting Satan torment me with how unfaithful I really am in trusting God… with thoughts of how “terrible a Christian” I am for ever having those thoughts & worries & pain barrage my thought life & prayers–as if feeling pain meant I didn’t have enough faith.

A New Perspective

But lately, God has been shining a light on a new perspective.

In reading through the Psalms with a study group, I noticed that a vast majority of the Psalms were just like my prayers during those terribly painful moments of my life.

I noticed, too, how that theme of lamentation even flows through several books in the Bible in times of distress.

And finally, I started to see how human it is to feel these emotions & hurts.

An Important Distinction- Complaint Vs. Lament

You see, there is a very important difference between complaining & lamenting.

Complaining seeks support, but spreads the dissention & worry & heaviness among others who cannot improve the situation. It also implies there is no hope.

Lamenting to God seeks His support, focusing through the storms of life on HIS ability to help.

Complaining focuses on the source of the problem, while lamenting to God focuses on the Source of the Solution TO the problem-GOD.

Our Impossible Is, to Him, Always Possible

When we cry out to Him, no matter how impossible it may seem that He might be able to fix it, we are exercising our “mustard seed faith…” (Matthew 17:20) that even if we doubt how God can or will help us, we know deep down that if anyone CAN help us, it WILL be Him.

That’s the distinction.

When we complain, we spread & grow bitterness, not solving the problem nor seeking the One who can.

When we lament in prayers to Him, we are recognizing that whether or not we see a possible light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, that God is where our help will come from.

It Is Okay to be Human-That Is What You Are, After All

It is okay to fall apart. It is okay to feel the weight of your world crashing around you when something unimaginably hard crosses our path. We are only human & can only endure so much in our own strength.

It is okay to mourn. It is okay to struggle.

Where Does Your Hope Come From? My Hope Is in the Lord

But the key is where do you turn as your source of Hope & Help & Healing?

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God & not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed….” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)

It may seem to crush us under the weight of seeming impossibility, but God is a God of making the impossible possible.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

Cling to God in Distress & Tell Satan to Shut It

So, don’t let Satan riddle you with guilt & shame for feeling so beat up & crying out about it to God.

Instead, take your laments to God, pour out your honest heart (I promise He can handle your worst), & call out to Him in your distress, even if all you have to offer is your mustard seed-sized faith.

Not HOW MUCH Faith, But in WHOM You Have Faith

Remember, a mustard-seed-sized faith can move a mountain… In other words, it seems impossible, & you feel you have so little faith in it ever even BEING possible, but it’s the WHO you have faith in versus the HOW MUCH faith you have that makes the impossible POSSIBLE.

So, cry out to Him. Lay it all on Him, even when you feel you have nothing left to offer.

And if Satan tries to guilt you for feeling hopeless when you are crying out to God for hope, tell him to get out & leave you alone. Because God hears you. He doesn’t expect you to clean up the mess that you are first. He doesn’t expect you to understand all His ways. He just asks you to trust HIM in the mess.

Weakness Invites Us to See All God Can Do in Light of Our Inability

Looking back & reading through the Psalms, I am reminded that it is only human to feel overwhelmed by what we cannot control or ease, but that we are invited to come to God, pour it all out to Him, & seek His help.

God can do GREAT things with your very little.

Shine HOPE by trusting the WHO behind your faith, not the HOW MUCH faith.

He’s GOT you. He is able & He is willing.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Manilla Bay Earrings

Local capiz shell is dyed a light blue/green hue and hand cut into half moon shapes accented with silver toned metal.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Resisting the Urge to Avoid

Isn’t this a fun thing to consider (Note the sarcasm)? The idea of finding comfort in being uncomfortable?

I don’t know about you, but for me, I would rather AVOID being uncomfortable.

Whether it be a person who grates me or is constantly bringing up controversial topics, or even the thought of doing something uncomfortable that God has asked of me (like running a blog or loving my enemy, for example)… I would rather say, “No thanks!” & carry on without it. This concept of getting comfortable being uncomfortable may seem like the opposite of a good idea to you, too. Trust me, it’s not such a fun thing for me to consider either.

Growing in Complacency or TRUST?

I like comfort just as much as anyone else, if not more.

But one thing that running my blog has taught me is that I need to lean into my discomfort more than striving for more comfort.

One thing that comfort does for many of us is a growing complacency, built on trusting what we feel like doing or what we feel capable of doing, versus trusting an infinite God to help us overcome & do more than we already feel comfortable doing.

A Constant Need for Surrender is Not Comfortable, But It Is Filled with Many Blessings

This may or may not come as a surprise to you, but running my blog is not a comfort zone for me. I do not feel ready to go each week, jumping at the bit to write. It’s a constant surrender for me.

My desire for comfort coupled with my constant need to surrender that comfort to God in order to run this blog means that I have tried unsuccessfully to talk myself out of continuing my blog countless times.

Even today, I spent most of the day doing everything but work on this post for this week. It will be published in about 5 hours & I am just now starting it.

Why Keep Going if It Takes Continual Surrendered Discomfort?

So why do it? Why keep doing something that I don’t always feel comfortable/confident doing?

Because every time I pray about it, I feel God patiently & gently nudging me to be a light for Him, to point others to Him, & to surrender my unwillingness & ask for His help instead of avoiding it altogether.

And here comes the whole point of today’s post.

Sometimes God Asks Us Out of Our Comfort Zones to Teach Us That He Is Enough EVEN THERE

Sometimes God asks us to do things outside of our comfort zones (Moses is a great example of this because he kept saying, “But, I…”) & obey in faith. Faith in Whom? In HIM.

It is completely human nature to seek comfort… even if your comfort is living as a thrill-seeker (just fyi–NOT my comfort zone, haha), but feeling discomfort being still & quiet.

We cling to where & what & with whom we feel most comfortable.

But God wants us to learn to cling to HIM.

And Yet We Still Fight It. Why?

*Sigh* I know this & yet I still fight it.

I KNOW He has infinite wisdom & can impart it to me to help guide me in decisions, etc.

I KNOW He has limitless resources & can fulfill a need if I but ask, when seeking to live for Him.

I KNOW He created me & all things & is limitless, infinite, Almighty God.

And yet, I still cling to everything else right in front of me for what makes me most comfortable.

Trusting God with the unknown is scary, but living in fear is no real way to live when God offers us His perfect love to cast out that paralyzing fear.

Embrace Your Weaknesses As Reminders to Turn to Him for Help

I am learning (to try) to embrace feeling uncomfortable. Instead of freezing up or avoiding it altogether, I am learning to just stop & ask God for help in accomplishing it.

Here is an example of how I cling to Him in my urge to avoid discomfort:

“God, I don’t feel like doing my blog today. I know I am being lazy & just trying to get out of doing work so I can relax & avoid anything uncomfortable, but I still feel like ditching it for tv binge watching instead. I know that You put this blog on my heart as a way to encourage others toward the hope that can only be found in You, but I want lazy! Please help me adjust my attitude because I can’t seem to do it. Please help give me words of encouragement to point to You. Please motivate & encourage me. Help me get over this hump. I know You are infinitely more powerful than me. I know Your wisdom has no end. So please help me. Help me to honor You through this & help me to trust You when it’s easier to quit. AMEN.

Reaching Our Limits Leads Us to Need & Rely on HIM

It’s okay to reach the end of yourself. Every human is limited. Every human struggles with clinging to comfort.

But God is bigger than us. He can help us with His strength as we lean into Him.

So, lean into Him.

Learn to be comfortable in the discomfort, knowing that it is simply a reminder that He is right there, willing & able to help you live for Him & to live in a way that honors Him & brings Him glory.

Because He is enough. Always. 100%.

And here I am finishing my post for this week. NOT because I am a super self-motivated, self-disciplined person, but because I took my lazy, ready-to-quit attitude to Him & asked for His help.

Shine Hope by not shying away from (AKA avoiding) discomfort, but by facing it in HIS strength, wisdom, & power through asking for HIS HELP.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Petal Necklace (& Petal Stud Earrings)

This cubic zirconia floral pendant hangs from an antique golden chain and pairs perfectly with the Petal Stud Earrings.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

When We Feel Like We’re Standing Alone

Have you ever felt frustrated because you are gaining deeper insight into who God is & the depth of His love for us & the vastness of what He is capable of in helping us to live for Him… but no one else seems to care… even Christian friends & family?

Has it ever seemed like you are the only one who wants to learn more about Him & strive to live for Him, while fellow Christians in your circles just seem to be okay with what they already know & don’t really want any more?

Honesty moment here—I have.

But, I Do It, Too

Now, I am NOT saying that I always get it right or that I am always seeking God diligently or that I never struggle with self-centered thinking & rebellious thoughts toward God.

BUT, sometimes it can feel like others just turn their ears off when I want to share how wonderful God is & how much He is willing to HELP them live for Him.

I mean, wouldn’t people WANT to know how God can take some stress off their backs & help give them strength, wisdom, & peace?

But no, I get it… We, as human beings (me included, since I am indeed a human being), want to feel capable & self-assured. We can feel a little offended when someone implies that these are lies Satan satiates us with versus attainable realities that we blindly hope they are.

Having Control Makes Us Lose Control

Why do we do that? Why do we self-sabotage simply even by trying to self-protect or handle it on our own? Why do we cling to control as if we can possibly do a better job than our unconditionally loving & all-powerful Creator God?

As if having control would make our lives better on our limited understanding, knowledge, wisdom, capabilities, etc. etc. etc.?

When Sharing Hope Leads to Disappointment

I had such an instance happen today.

I excitedly shared with a friend some things God has been teaching me, encouraged to brighten her life with a bigger perspective of our great God, thinking I would surely be met with either a, “I know! Isn’t He so magnificent? Oh, I never get tired of remembering how capable & loving & patient & wonderful He is!” or, “Oh wow, God really IS so great & this just shows again how much He really DOES LOVE US!!”

But instead, I was met with almost a backlash of, “I think doing it my way is working okay enough.”

But… what?

Why do we do that to ourselves?

Why Do We Settle for Just “Okay”?

Why would we settle for our way… our “okay enough”… when GOD offers us significantly more at HIS expense, not even ours?

It’s like, “here, let Me give you strength so you’re not so tired, some wisdom so you’re not so stressed, & some love & peace mixed in there to let you know how much you mean to Me. And all you have to do is ask me for help.”

And our response is so often, “Um, I don’t want to ask for help because I am going to figure it out myself & if I just do more self-care then I won’t need the God-given strength & then maybe I will post a selfie & say, “felt cute, might delete later” to get the affirmation I need. So, I don’t need to ask for Your help. I’m fine, really.”

What?

Why?

I know I do it, too, so don’t think I am excluding myself on this. I am certainly NOT letting myself off the hook for this kind of thinking.

But, why???

In the Multitude of My Anxieties

After the very dumbfoundingly discouraging response from my friend, our conversation ended with an weird off-ness. I almost just plopped on the couch & cried from the confusion & sadness that overwhelmed me at their complete lack of interest in God’s help (& they’re a long-time Christian).

So, I remembered Psalm 94:19 “In the multitude of my anxieties, Your comforts delight my soul,” & so I stopped to pray something like this:

“God, why? Why would someone who knows You not even want to ask You for help like they don’t know they can trust You with more than just eternal salvation? Do they not even care? Do they not want to know You more or see You do more in their life than just meeting the status quo? Why don’t they care? Why do so many people seem to NOT CARE? Don’t they know how much You love them & HOW POWERFUL You are & all You can do for them to help them live for You like they always say they want? But then they refuse to even ASK You. WHY???”

God Is Still God

And God’s truthful reminders started coming across my heart, “Just breathe. I am not expecting you to be responsible for fixing everyone’s hearts. They are just human, like you. They make mistakes & get it wrong, just like you. But, I am God. I am not thwarted. I can work through even their disbelief. Remove the pressure that is building in your heart & take your burden for the world & put it on My shoulders. I will not hold you responsible for their bad choices. Just speak the Truth in Love & leave the rest to Me. I will take care of them. Just you be responsible for your choices & trusting Me every step. Leave the rest up to Me & just ask for My help & guidance to stay faithful to what I call you to & let Me handle the rest.”

Take Up HIS Yoke

And so, the beautiful Biblical reminders flooded my heart, from Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to Me, all you who are weary & burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you & learn from Me, for I am gentle & humble in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy & My burden is light.”

Taking His yoke is like a little flea sharing a yoke with a giant ox. How much contribution do you think the flea has to offer in that scenario? Not much, I’ll tell you that.

And that is a magnificent portrayal of a life lived in surrender to God.

We fight it so much, clinging to a sense of personal control, but what will really bless us is to give up that control for Him to carry the weight while we walk in His way by trusting Him with every step.

Pray With Me

So, if you’re like me, my friend I mentioned earlier, & every other human in existence & you struggle trying to maintain control over your life to try it your way, in your strength, & in your wisdom… pray with me.

Pray & ask God to help you see the MORE that He offers you.

Pray to have a humble & wakened heart, to know His deep, wide love for you & the vastness of His great power that He offers to help us if we but ask.

Because He DELIGHTS in us taking HIS yoke & us putting our burdens on Him & Him giving US rest, peace, wisdom, strength, hope, grace, mercy, joy, self-control, etc. etc. etc.

1 John 5:14-15, says, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.”

So, ASK HIM.

He’s Got You, Babe

Let’s all work at being a little better at letting the God of the Universe be in charge, while we strive to trust Him with more & lean into Him more as we seek to live under His lead. He’s got you, babe.

Shine HOPE by refusing to do it yourself & asking for HIS HELP.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Not a New Question

This question of “where is God when I am suffering?” is not a new question.

In fact, it is asked by David in many of the Psalms as David is crying out, hurting, feeling alone & betrayed & attacked from everywhere all at once.

It is a human question, one that every person is tempted to feel at one point or another. (I can’t tell you HOW MANY TIMES I have cried this same question in my hurts.)

It’s a hard question to answer, I will tell you that. But one thing I am certain of, just like David always came back to this Truth, that when my help comes, it will be of the Lord.

He Never Leaves Us Nor Forsakes Us… Even When We Are Hurt

Does that mean He is ignoring us or forgetting us in the meantime? … Although it may feel like that sometimes, the answer is a strong “no”.

He will never forget or ignore us in our troubles. He loves you too darn much.

Our Blessings Can Also Come in the Form of Difficulties

Have you ever felt so caught up in life that when God jolts you out of your spiral, everything finally makes sense? God can use our difficulties to right our path.

A beautiful song that I like to think of when I consider this question of “WHERE ARE YOU, GOD!?” is “Blessings”, by Laura Story. (Go have a listen!)

Our blessings are not just in the absence of trouble, but in the peace, grace, comfort, strength, & power in the MIDST of that trouble.

And even more than that, as we lean into God through our struggles, God grows our character, faith, courage, peace, strength, & wisdom.

So Many Troubles. But, God.

Our troubles can come from many different places for many different reasons & His actions are always according to His perfect Wisdom in every situation (which we usually can’t see in the midst of our struggle).

He knows our needs. He knows our doubts. He knows our struggles & weaknesses & insecurities & fears & scars. And He knows what we need better than we know them ourselves.

He always answers our calls for help in His perfect Wisdom. ALWAYS. 100%.

Oftentimes we are missing out simply by begging God for the end of the trouble instead of clinging to Him & asking for His strength, love, peace, wisdom, hope, etc. to help us THROUGH it!

No matter the source of our troubles, whether it be in trying to keep our fast-spinning world in control in our own strength & wisdom, whether it be the results of living in a broken, sinful world, or whether it be the result of our own sin… He is good. He loves you. He hears you. He is able to bring you victory. He forgives. HE is able to bring you victory (worth repeating, WITH emphasis)… Not you believing harder or proving it more or being better… But HIS love, HIS grace, HIS wisdom, HIS strength, & HIS Almighty POWER.

Oh Hello… A Wake Up Call

I know that sometimes I need troubles to remind me to stop looking to myself or others as my answer. I need to remember He is there. He hears me. He is able. I need HIM.

Our troubles can sometimes come from our own self-focused (doing-it-my-way) actions… a stress that rears its ugly head when we are trying to keep it all together, weighing us down… & God often allows friction in our lives to remind us that we are NOT in control of our own lives & that He is KING.

We are loved by the King & because of this, His desire is not for us to scramble through all of life always trying to maintain control when He already holds perfect control. He wants us to know we can rest in that & have perfect, unmovable peace.

We usually cannot understand that peace until we are faced with a situation beyond our control & we then turn to & lean into God as our help. When we turn to Him instead of ourselves, we are able to be profoundly introduced to or reminded of the fact that God has it completely under control (even when it seemed impossible to us).

He is waiting for us to fall into His arms so we can know the fullness of His power & sovereignty, & love for us through it all.

It’s a Broken World We Live In… A Temporary Home

Secondly, God doesn’t promise us a life of ease & comfort, (even though we really think we want that).

In fact, God knows we will face pain because that is the direct result of sin in the world. In other words, He tells us what not to do because He knows sovereignly that those things hurt us, whether we get that or not… but we live in a world of those wrong choices. We live in a world broken by sin….

As a result, life is just HARD sometimes. Unbearably so, even, sometimes. Another reminder that we need Jesus… & to look at this earth as our temporary home, longing for the day we enter into eternity with our Savior where there will be no more tears & only LOVE & PEACE & JOY.

We Have an Enemy… But, God.

On top of that, the Bible tells us that Satan spends his time prowling the earth, looking to whom he may kill & destroy. We have a spiritual enemy at odds against us, wanting to watch us crash & burn, or at least to convince us to doubt God & to turn from God’s hope & grace through Christ (resulting in US paying our own penalty to sin—DEATH aka HELL, instead of having Christ cover us with His payment on our behalf!).

Don’t let your doubts & bitterness become so poisonous that Satan convinces you that you’re better off on your own. You’re not.

Our Only Taste of Hell… or Heaven… Your Choice

A pastor once made it clearer this way, (paraphrasing here), “If you have accepted Jesus as your Savior to cover the payment of your sin, your time on earth will be the closest thing you experience to Hell because it is broken by sin. If you reject Jesus, earth will be the closest thing you experience to Heaven, because on earth, God still blesses the righteous & the unrighteous, but in Hell, you will be completely separated from God’s love & goodness.”

What a clear reminder!

And We Can’t Forget Our Own Sin/Fault

And still is the subject of our own sin… our own wrongs.

No one can claim a sinless life except Jesus Christ who paid our debt before God on the cross!

And we should ALWAYS remember that while we are breathing, there is ALWAYS an opportunity for grace, mercy, & HOPE… & VICTORY.

A wonderful quote I read recently said that because we ALL SIN, our DEFAULT destination is Hell… & that we ALL NEED a Savior who will pay our debt on our behalf aka JESUS.

Sin Has Consequences, Now & in Eternity… Trust in Jesus & Ask for Grace

I also heard the wonderful quote that “the question is not, “why would a Good God send anyone to Hell?” but rather, “why would anyone CHOOSE Hell over a Good God?” because God gave a way out for EVERY SINGLE PERSON, through Jesus, to ALL WHO CONFESS their sins & ACCEPT Christ.”

Sin has consequences, & all of them hurt us, others, AND God. But eternal consequences can be covered by Jesus & God forgives & gives mercy now when we turn to Him.

Hurts from our sin is inevitable (that’s why God commands us to avoid them!)

Turn to Him, Cry Out to Him, Ask for His Help THROUGH the Storm

So, if you are hurting right now, maybe even feeling like the world is crumbling around you, confess what you need to confess, ask for God’s forgiveness & mercy & grace. If you know you haven’t sinned, then consider that God is in the midst of the hurt with you & He will help you THROUGH it IF you ask Him for His help in it.

So, ASK HIM!

Don’t let Satan convince you that the way to solve your problems is to turn your back on the only One who has any chance to truly help you overcome, heal, & carry on in victory!

Shine HOPE by taking your pain to the feet of Jesus. Confess &/or Ask for help from our Almighty GOD.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Bracelet (& Earrings)

Layered in natural labradorite stone, this timeless style will add elegance to any outfit.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Not Everyone Feels Jolly & That Is Okay

As Christmas fast approaches, I am reminded of those who are dreading this time of year… Not because they hate Christmas, but because they hate doing Christmas without a person whom they have lost or because they have to do Christmas alone or away from family this year.

The holidays put so much pressure on us to be with family & loved ones… & when that cannot happen for one reason or another, it can be so painful to bear.

God sees you, too. Even in the heartache that seems too thick to swallow, He sees you.

Your Heartache Matters to God

I want to take this week to speak to those of you who are feeling that dense, hard-to-swallow pain this time of year, because I know that your heartache matters to God.

It’s important to point out that God does not expect us to never be sad or hurt. We don’t have to stuff down our pain & pretend it doesn’t exist. God doesn’t shame us in our heartbreak.

If anyone doubts this, they only have to read Ecclesiastes to see despair spilled over its pages.

Finding Hope in the Darkness

Life can be hard, there is no denying that.

But in finishing up the book of Ecclesiastes, in all of the author’s woes of despair & meaninglessness, he ends the book by prompting us to follow & obey God—the way of life that brings meaning to the hurt.

Life may not always be pretty or comfortable or easy or full of laughter, but we can be guaranteed that God is with us through it all. He is our enough in the midst of the heartache.

Cling. Cry Out. He Is Listening.

Cling to Him. Cry out to Him. Pour out your heart to His listening ears. God can handle your pain.

Ask for Him to be your comfort & strength & hope in the midst of your deep pain.

Because while we are not promised a life of comfort & ease, we are promised that He is enough to carry us through the fires & storms & aches of life.

Your source of hope in the midst of the tears will always be Him.

Let Him…

He cares for you. He sees you. He is able. He is enough.

Let Him fill where you feel void & empty.

Let His love be a balm on your weary heart.

Let His strength help you rise above the brambles.

Let His power carry your broken heart.

Let His comfort ease your burdens.

His Words, Not Mine

(Emphasis in the following verses is mine.)

“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

“He heals the brokenhearted & binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

“He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:2)

“Come to Me, all who labor & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

“God is our refuge & strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13)

“Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3)

“Come to me, all who labor & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, & learn from Me, for I am gentle & lowly in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, & My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice & my pleas for mercy. Because He inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live.” (Psalm 116:1-2)

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin & death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh & for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:1-6)

Shine Hope by Leaning into Him

It doesn’t have to look pretty. You don’t have to get yourself together first. Come to Him in the mess. Pour out your sorrows to Him because He cares for you. He is listening & He sees you.

You are not alone, for He is with you always, even to the end of the age.

Come to Jesus & find Life, even in the midst of your great sorrows.

He sees you & He loves you more than words could ever express. <3

Merry Christmas.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

It’s so easy
To see this world
As dark & dreary…
A lost & broken world

So much hurt
and so much heartache
A mere shadow…
Of all that was meant to be

But there’s hope
In the darkness
When we cling
To the Light

Walking hand in hand (with Christ)
In peace & love
Trusting Him as God
And us as His beloved

He longs… for our hearts
He wants us to know His love
He longs to offer us
A life that was always meant for us

Not in getting our own way
But in yielding to His
Not in owning the whole world
But enjoying His creation

Because there’s hope
In the darkness
When we cling
To the Light

Hand in hand
As we let Him lead us
Bowing down our hearts
To His great, enduring love

There is freedom in surrender
Letting Him wash us clean
Restoring in forgiveness
To a Hope found just in Him

So, don’t spend your life wasted
Pushing back against His love
But surrender in safety
To His sorrow-quenching love

Because there’s hope
In the darkness
As we cling
To the Light

Hand in hand
We love & trust Him
Letting Him to be the King
Over our created life

So, obey in trust
And let Him lead
As His love washes
Over everything

And the mystery of surrender
Is that when we finally yield
We find that we find salvation
And that then we’re finally free

Because there’s hope
In the darkness
When we cling
To the Light

So, cling to the Light of Christ
Surrender it all to His love
And find your restoration
To peace & hope in Him for all eternity long.

Coming Next Week

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Special Feature post, featured every last Thursday of the month!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Worthy Necklace

Beautifully delicate in design, this rose gold plated chain displays a light pink rose quartz stone. Crafted in India.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, and receive education and healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Blinders

We often go through life never questioning what we see & do every day, not even aware that there could be any other way… because it’s simply what we’ve always “known” to be true….

But God tells us NOT to trust what we see, but instead to trust HIM & His Truth (the Bible)—& that’s what my recent pivotal moments series was all about—seeing that God knows more than I do, corresponding with major perspective shifts of trusting His way over my own.

“Blessed Are the Poor in Spirit”

For example, the Bible says, in Matthew 5 “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” NOT “blessed are those who beat up on themselves inwardly, are shy, self-deprecating….” But rather, “Blessed are those who recognize their own depravity, that there is absolutely NOTHING they can do to earn their own redemption, but that Jesus Christ Himself paid their debt FOR them (IN FULL) & now all they have to do is lean into HIM for hope, versus STRAINING & FAKING to try to be good enough on their own, ever failing at those efforts, because Christ already paid IN FULL!”

It seems impossible to feel blessed in recognizing our own depravity & owning up to it… but in it comes so much richness of freedom when we replace our tireless efforts with God’s heroic rescue & love for our souls, giving healing, peace, strength, renewal, a fresh start, & eternal redemption in exchange for us placing our hope in Him.

I’ve Got This!

My whole life, I wanted (& still often want) to feel capable & assured in & of myself. I mean, who doesn’t?

It feels safe & comfortable & “reliable” to feel like our security, peace, & hope can be produced by us, rather than taking the risk of relying on others for it.

We always hear slogans centered on the idea that we can make our dream a reality, that it’s up to us…. That we are “good enough”.

But somehow, those ideas, reassuringly soothing as they may sound on the surface, always seem to fall short when brought into reality.

Why? Because we all know, deep down, that we will fail even ourselves.

We know we are NOT enough.

And there is freedom & blessedness in coming to that realization… when we also realize that God IS enough FOR us.

God As Our Hope

We don’t have to produce our own hope. God is our hope, through Christ.

We have all been let down. We have all experienced the mistakes & failures of others (as well as the let downs of our own failures & mistakes).

A lot of trauma can come from someone else’s “good intentions” when those good intentions went wrong because they were based on human understanding/logic versus yielding in submission to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, through prayer.

It’s just life. It’s just us doing the best we know.

But blessedness comes in knowing that God is in control, not us & not anyone else… & even more so in recognizing that we cannot save ourselves, but He can.

Not a Jab at You, But a RELIEF

Submitting to that Truth brings such relief. It takes the pressure off of our own shoulders to always be enough for ourselves & for everyone else (including God), & allows us the breathing space to accept that we were never meant to be enough… that God is already enough FOR US & that’s the very reason that the hope found in Jesus is so liberating!

Keep Reminding Yourself

Take a deep breath, Lovely, & let it out slowly.

Do it again. Take a deep breath… & let it out slowly.

Close your eyes & tell yourself, “I don’t have to be “enough” because God is enough FOR ME. He paid my debt to set me free. He offers HIS comfort, HIS strength, HIS power, HIS wisdom, HIS guidance, HIS HOPE. I don’t have to be enough. He is enough already & always will be.”

Release yourself from the lies we grew up believing & trust God as your path to hope, through Christ’s sacrifice for you.

Magnify the Magnificent with Your Life

Should we strive to live in a way that magnifies His name & demonstrates His love for this hurting world? Yes. Does it secure our salvation or earn us God’s love? No. We already have that if we have put our trust in Jesus.

So, find blessedness in your depravity today & every day.

You’re Right… I’m Not Enough… But God Is, & That’s Why I Need Him

And when Satan tries to tell you, “Give up! You’re never good enough! You always fail everybody! You are not enough!”

Well then, sister, you stand up tall, square your shoulders & you remind him & yourself, by saying, “You’re right. I am not enough. I am frail & I mess up often, but you know what… I was never meant to be enough. That is why I need Jesus’ sacrifice, God’s grace, & the help of the Holy Spirit. He is enough FOR ME. So, you’re right, Satan, I am not enough… but that’s okay because Jesus is!”

I heard that scenario on the radio one day as someone retold this realization & turning point in their life from letting Satan beat him up in his failures to claiming Jesus’ victory & it always stuck with me.

“You’re right, Satan. I’m not enough. But Jesus is, & that is the exact reason why I need Him.”

And He is enough for you, too.

Accept Your Depravity… Knowing Your Hope Is in Jesus

So, cling to Him. Accept your depravity. Don’t beat yourself up because you were never meant to be enough.

And, above all, trust in the enoughness of God Almighty, Jesus our Redeemer, & the wisdom, comfort, strength, & guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Learn to rely on yourself less & on Him more & more every day.

Because that, Lovely, is where you find your blessedness.

Shine Hope In Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Chelsie Necklace

This curved bar necklace features gold & rose gold tones. Hanging from a gold colored chain, this piece was named after one of our co-founders because of her golden & modern style, along with her passion for using sustainable business to end poverty.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Closing a Series, But God Is Always At Work

Well, this is it, the final week of our Pivot moments for this series.

I am sure God will continue to flip my world upside down to exchange the lies I have come to believe for His truth, but for the sake of this series of pivotal moments, this is the last… for now.

God Is Working a Masterpiece

Today, it will get dark again, before the light shines through the clouds, revealing a marvelous plan that God had all along, but that I just then began to realize was there.

That’s how it always works with God.

We tend to fret & stress & worry & fear, as if God doesn’t already have a plan to fit all of the pieces together, making a breath-taking masterpiece out of the messy “colors” we saw as chaos.

AND, He doesn’t leave it at that… He offers us comfort & peace & strength to endure the hardships that lead up to that marvelous reveal, as we lean into Him for it.

And that is how He worked as He led me through my struggles in both Guam AND Hokkaido.

God Was Working a Plan I Didn’t See

God was working a plan to show Himself to me in a way that I needed to see.

He needed me to learn that my gifting was simply His way of working through my life & had little to do with how much I may or may not have deserved it.

The Ugly Pride

First, I feel it important to let you in on the fact that I struggled (& still do struggle) with pride because of my gifting from God.

Because certain things oftentimes seem so obvious & easy to me, to see deeper insight into a situation to know God’s truth & how it needs to be applied or how someone is avoiding God’s truth in a certain area… I began to believe that it must be that I care more about God & truth than others.

I know, I know… it sounds arrogant just reading that.

But although I didn’t think of it as pride, but more that I felt alone in wanting to serve the truth, it just wasn’t true that my gifting was equal to my personal deserving of it.

An Undeserved Gift

My gifting was simply what it sounds like… a gift… from God. Did it make me more perceptive than some others? Perhaps. But I still had weaknesses where others had great strengths.

This particular area just happened to be MY strength, leaving me to need help from others with DIFFERENT strengths… the whole “body of Christ”/”body of the Church” idea. All of our strengths (“giftings”) WORK TOGETHER & are GIFTS from God—not earned or deserved.

Obviously, the more obedient & trusting we are to God, the more He will choose to work in & through our gifting, but the gifting itself is… just a GIFT.

All that to say, I obviously needed both a lesson in humility & a lesson in it being from HIM & not me.

Walking through the Valley

And to accomplish this pivot in my life, God chose to allow me to walk through hardship… namely, loneliness in Guam & a life of strain, where I had very little control, living in Japan, in an area with VERY LITTLE English.

Living in those two places brought me to a place of feeling like very little that I accomplished had anything to do with what I had earned or deserved.

I was mainly just trying to get through to the next day, only sometimes remembering to pray for the strength & peace & wisdom & guidance to navigate each day & instead, relying on television show marathons & food to get me through it.

And it got worse.

Starting to Have “The Talk”-About Depression & Potential Cries for Help

Near the end of those six years, I had to start having a lot of conversations with Jamie about my history with depression & that if it got bad enough, slipping by unnoticed until it consumed me, & if I admitted that to him & asked for help, that he needed to get me emergency help.

Luckily, it never reached emergency status, but I guess in a way it did.

Over time, in Hokkaido, the mental strain & stress of never understanding (pretty much anything) of the world around me began to take a serious toll on my mind.

I began having emotional breakdowns over the smallest things.

I felt BROKEN, like a person who couldn’t function like a normal human being.

Paper-Thin Patience

To better express the strain… if I dropped an item once, even a small, slip-through-my-fingers drop… it required a deep breath of resolve to just pick it back up…. But a second drop? The item would get picked up with lightning speed & chucked at the nearest wall.

Patience was worn thin every moment. I had zero patience.

I crumbled at the slightest aggravation or inconvenience.

I cried or screamed or cursed so loud that I didn’t care if the whole world heard.

And I felt broken.

Broken

I understood this wasn’t normal. I understood that the average human being can manage to pick something up that had dropped just twice without feeling hatred explode out of her.

But I couldn’t stop it. I felt like something in me had short-circuited & I could no longer filter frustrations through logic & calm reserve to try again.

I just immediately would snap, without even considering it first or thinking it through.

It scared me how little control I had over my own brain & how it reacted to even minor difficulties.

And yet, through all of that, I felt God’s hand on me… as if He was reassuring me that He wouldn’t let go… that He had me still.

God Wasn’t Answering MY Way, So I Felt Forgotten

But I eventually stopped praying.

I felt deserted by God because the pain only got worse & the control over my own emotions melted slowly away.

I was trapped in a mental typhoon that swirled everything together & knocked all sense out of my life.

I was exhausted & frustrated. I felt broken & no longer whole or “normal” & I saw ZERO way to repair or fix it.

Every attempt seemed to laugh at me.

My prayers went “unanswered.”

Bitterness grew into an angry, snarling, jaded voice that screamed for relief at every corner.

Streaming Curse Words

I saw God walking beside me, in a sense, feeling Him there… but He wasn’t making all the pain stop. He wasn’t repairing my mind. He wasn’t calming the storm raging inside me.

So, I cried. A LOT.

My second (inner) language became strung-together curse words, screamed inside my mind.

I couldn’t turn off the rage that was starting to consume me, like a rage monster tearing away at me from the inside, bellowing its fierceness from within me.

Professional Help, Please!

As I finally confessed this inner battle to Jamie, upon our decision-making to stay in Hokkaido or move on, I told him the truth, “Jamie, I am really struggling. Either I need a professional counselor, or we need to leave to go somewhere less stressful on my brain. I need help.”

So, we moved to Misawa, Japan, near an American military base & the stress began to recede.

Even With My NOTHING

God showed me that even WHILE I was feeling broken & unfixable, bitter instead of trusting, & barely surviving through my mental typhoon each day, that He STILL chose to work through my life to bless others through my gifting.

In other words, EVEN WHEN I did NOTHING to earn or deserve anything, He still allowed me to be a blessing to others through HIS gifting.

Ex Nihilo

I used to think that it was up to us to bring the best of what we have & to be the best at everything ALL THE TIME & be everyone’s EVERYTHING, & ONLY THEN can God do miraculous, wonderful things in & through our lives.

BUT… in my failing… in my brokenness… in my falling apart… when I felt I had nothing to offer Him… HE STILL DID Mighty things, through ME!!

Like He showed us through Creation… God can do AMAZING things EX NIHILO (“From Nothing”).

Not Us, But HIM, THROUGH US

My gifting & my ability to bless others how He chooses to work through me, is not because I have proven any better than other people… but because He is a Mighty & Awesome & LOVING God who does great things despite my unworthiness, because He loves us so incredibly much.

He can take our NOTHING & make it a MASTERPIECE.

His Grace IS Sufficient

Even if our “leaning into Him” is as a paralytic who cannot even hold themselves up, HE HOLDS US UP in His strength, His mercy, His love, His power, His goodness, His forgiveness, His saving, HIS GRACE.

If you recognize a gifting God has given you when you chose to put your faith in Jesus as the Master & Redeemer of your life, learn from my mistakes… bow them at His feet & thank Him for blessing you with a way to bless others, through HIS GIFTING.

And then lean into Him to best use that gift to honor Him & to bring Him glory, by making Him famous wherever you go, loving others to Jesus, through truth & faith in Him. He will help you as you lean into Him.

Shine HOPE, by giving Him the little you have & letting Him multiply it, even if it feels as if you have little to nothing to offer Him… by LEANING INTO HIM.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Iris Earrings

Iridescent pink crystal beads sway on these golden teardrop hoops.

Artisan Information:

In Peru, rural citizens have been affected by extreme poverty & guerrilla warfare. Women are affected the worst as their husbands generally leave them in search of work. Many are unable to get the basic needs of food, shelter, & clothing. But with every purchase of this product, women are finding hope & an income by hand-making this beautiful product. Because of you, these family businesses are now empowering the next generation!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Peru!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Almost the End to a New Beginning

Well, we are one “Pivot” moment away from finishing this series! That’s so hard to believe after these (including this one) 14 “Pivots” that we have walked through together.

A Different Sort of Autobiography

It has always been a dream of mine to write an “autobiography”, not of what amazing things I have accomplished or done, but what God has worked in my life that I never saw as possible from my human perspective.

Being given the opportunity to share all of these moments with you has been a pleasure, especially the reminders, even for myself, of all that God has done & is capable of doing in our lives as we lean into Him.

Maybe someday I will better edit all of these “Pivot” stories into that autobiography of sorts. I guess we will see where God leads!

Trouble in Paradise

But, for today, we are talking about a touchy (& freeing) topic.

It’s touchy because a lot of hurt often surrounds this topic, but it’s freeing knowing the right perspective of leaning into God above all else, whether things work out or not.

“Trouble in Paradise”, as I have titled it, is a story of God doing what I felt was the impossible… bridging the gap in marital (or relational) trouble.

In It Together

You see, after God had led every step of our dating relationship as we leaned into Him consistently for direction & answers (read more, here), we felt like our bond was unbreakable.

We were bound together by trust in Him & a friendship built on Him.

Nothing could shake us.

We had aired all of our “dirty laundry” by sharing our deepest shames & hurts & mistakes… but we were forgiven.

We had shared all of our quirks… but we were accepted.

We had faced hurt & struggle… but had prayed through it all… together.

After the “Happily Ever After”

But then we moved to Guam… 3 months after we were married.

And things weren’t as great anymore.

We started out strong, but between the stress of adjustment to life on the other side of the globe & Jamie working 12 hour shifts several days a week (& usually taking on extra shifts for co-workers), let’s just say that it began to take its toll on us.

I felt neglected. He felt over-worked & stretched thin.

I felt bored & restless. He felt exhausted & ready to crash.

I felt alone & in need of company. He felt over-stimulated & in need of alone time.

We felt placed on opposite ends of every spectrum, unable to bridge the divides that seemed to be getting wider every month.

Beginning to Feel the Strain… Pull Us Apart

Fights became easier. Disagreements & misunderstandings were more common. Emotions were high & needs were left unmet on both sides.

We were strained & frustrated & tired.

My needs became a burden on us both—not because he didn’t think they or I were important, but because after work, he had nothing left to give.

Personal Perceptions Are Often Deceptive

But I felt like he must think me & my needs unimportant because they were SO important to me & yet he still didn’t meet them.

And he felt like I was putting too much pressure on him because he was already exhausted from work every day.

We were disconnected & hurt.

We argued & fought & stormed off & shut doors more forcefully than necessary.

We hurt.

I found myself often crying alone, curled up on the floor of our bathroom, with the lights out.

What I Wanted

I had heard that marriage was hard, but I felt like I had lost my very best friend, just by getting married to him.

I wanted to leave him & go back to America & be with my family & friends.

I wanted the hurt to stop.

I was learning very clearly in that time the truth that our spouse is not meant to fulfill our needs.

Only God can do that.

It’s Not Like the Movies… But It’s So Much Better

But culture sings a different tune, one where our spouse, who probably wishes they actually could, can fulfill all of your dreams & make you the happiest person imaginable.

And we probably still want to do that, but realistically, we don’t have the power to do that.

We have our own fears, hurts, insecurities, weaknesses, trauma, shortcomings, failures, etc. & when you join two imperfect people, you’re obviously going to have an imperfect marriage.

So Much Freedom in Removing That Expectation!

And oh the burden we are freed from when we realize that being our spouse’s EVERYTHING is not our purpose or even in our ability.

And oh the freedom it GIVES our spouse to release them from that supposed expectation.

Then, How?

So how did we do it? How are we good friends & happily married after the battle wounds we received in that painful couple years?

Prayer.

That’s right… prayer.

But, I Didn’t Start There

But, like I said, I first resorted to balling up in figurative tears (Fun Fact: I can’t cry actual tears) & wanting to quit it all & run from the hurt.

I resorted to wanting to bail & start over at home with my family. I wanted to give up because I felt so unloved.

But Jamie still loved me terribly, & through the deep ache, I loved him just as much… so why weren’t we able to express that to each other?

My Ache Turned Into My Prayer

At the end of one of our arguments, I was laying in bed, with my back turned to Jamie… silently sobbing into the edge of my pillow, begging God for help & pouring out my heart to Him like I had done countless times before on the floor of our bathroom.

“God, why is this happening! Why do I feel like Jamie & I are so far apart?! How did we get here!? I miss him so much & I HATE that we’re always at odds with each other… but I feel like no matter what, we’re never on the same page… like he doesn’t ever care about me! I feel so alone & betrayed. I thought he loved me but he gets mad or frustrated when I even want to spend time with him & he just plays video games alone in his spare time, with his headphones on, like I am just a home accessory!! He used to make me feel like his whole world & now he barely even talks to me. I hate my life here. I hate what this job has taken from me… from us. I want him back but that seems impossible now. Too many things we can’t take back & too many misunderstandings & disagreements. I don’t even feel like I know him anymore… Like I have been tricked. Did he never really love me? How can he act so callously toward me? Help us. Show us the way back to each other. PLEASE. Help us. Help me. I don’t know how to get back to him anymore & I miss him so much. Please show me what to do.”

God’s Response… God’s Solution… Trust HIM

… “Ask him to pray with you.”

That was the simple thought the washed over my mind like a gentle breeze.

“Ask him to pray with you.”

But I didn’t want to.

Did Jamie even care? Did he even want us back? If he cared, he would have tried already. (So many insecurities rushed over my heart.)

“Ask Him to pray with you.”

FINE. But I don’t want to.

And When I Obeyed God’s Guiding, God Healed

“Jamie, we should pray.”

“Ok.”

And so he prayed a prayer that shocked & shook me & expressed all the love for me that I was afraid wasn’t there.

To paraphrase his prayer:

“God, I don’t know what to do. We can’t seem to get along. I love Michelle, but I am too tired. I am stretched thin at work & I just don’t have the energy to be what she needs me to be. It hurts that I don’t feel like I can help her & it’s frustrating. Help me know what to do. Please help her hurt. Amen.”

And then I prayed my hurt out loud, too.

And we both cried & we hugged each other & just clung on.

God Knew How

It ended up that we genuinely both wanted a solution but neither of us new how to make it happen, were doing the best we knew how, & had different expectations on what that should look like.

And when we started both turning to God, instead of ourselves or each other, as the solution, God started to shape us & guide us along a path to help us both care for each other.

We became more understanding of each other’s needs, while not trying to meet them in our own wisdom or understanding, but by God’s.

We began letting go of the expectations we had placed on the other person to meet our needs & started leaning into God instead.

And we began to heal.

Start Looking to God for the Answers

God was the glue that took our efforts & our understanding & all of our other limitations & acted as our bridge to cover the great divide for us.

We stopped looking inward to fulfill each other.

We stopped looking to each other to fulfill ourselves.

And we started looking to God, together.

He is our glue. He is our bridge. He is our wisdom & solution. He is our strength.

A Work in Progress, Led by Grace

Do we still have disagreements & misunderstandings & occasional bad attitudes that we really shouldn’t be taking out on each other but it’s far too easy to do? Yes.

But we know the way back now. PRAYER. Leaning into GOD.

And we’re learning to turn to God BEFORE it gets bad, knowing we will reach the end of our limitations far sooner.

We’re human & we mess up. We are learning, but we don’t always get it right.

But God is the solution to that, too… because He will never stop working on our hearts. He is always ready to give grace as we grow toward Him.

He is a Good, Good Father.

Shine Hope, by letting God be your glue… & your bridge… to healing.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side & off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!