How Do I Fit?

Have you ever found yourself wondering how you fit into God’s plan?

Being well aware of your own shortcomings, failures, & insecurities, in comparison to the perceived strengths, accomplishments, & courage of others can leave us wondering how we can have any influence in our hurting world that others can’t do better.

When I was growing up, I always looked up to those who seemed bold & courageous, the leaders & the ones already doing the work. I assumed that was for them & not for me.

I always tended to step back & let them do their thing, while I essentially sat back & made excuses for inaction.

Of course, we don’t like to admit it as inaction, but that is inevitably the result of letting others do everything that we are also called to do.

Not Lazy, Just Insecure

I don’t think it’s even necessarily laziness, but it definitely seems like Satan likes us to believe the lie that because others seem to be better, we shouldn’t do it as well.

Take this blog, for example. If I am completely honest with you, I feel completely ill-equipped & inadequate to run any kind of anything, let alone a weekly blog & Facebook community.

I see too clearly all of my rebellious nature & stubborn/selfish tendencies. I see my writing blunders & babblings & wish I didn’t sound “so dumb” in my writing, because my weaknesses are glaringly obvious to me.

Be a Light

But God has been giving me a sort of wake-up call with this type of thing.

The world needs lampposts in the darkness. Lampposts for HOPE. Lampposts that shine the light of Christ into this hurting world.

God wants people who are willing to show up & take a stand for Truth in LOVE.

Even If…

Even if I end up being a terrible writer & even if I mess up & even if I miss a deadline & beat myself up about it… God can still use my willingness to show up for Him.

Even if I am ignored & no one reads anything I share. Even if everyone thinks I am lame & have no business running a blog. EVEN IF NO ONE CARES… God can still use my willingness to show up for Him.

Maybe God…

If you are feeling it necessary to be a light for Christ, but you feel alone or inadequate in this endeavor, maybe God will use this blog to encourage you that it DOES matter & it IS worth it.

If you are wondering if Christianity is just my pick of the litter for religions, maybe God will use this blog to show you that HE is the ONE WAY to Truth & HOPE & that He offers this freely, apart from anything we are unable to give.

If you are struggling with a conviction & wonder if God is really working through that situation, maybe God will use this blog to solidify that Truth in your heart.

Even if I mess up & miss the point. Even if I speak poorly & am grossly inadequate, God can still use my willingness to show up.

Keep Shining Hope, Keep Showing Up

And so, I will keep showing up.

Not because I am especially disciplined or determined or selfless or humble or anything, but through GOD’S strength, GOD’S encouragement, & GOD’S help.

I am nothing. HE is EVERYTHING.

I am weak. HE is STRENGTH.

I am selfish. HE is KIND & GENEROUS.

I am limited. HE is INFINITE.

I am not worthy of this task, but HE CAN USE ME DESPITE ME.

He is everything!

Let God Maximize Your “Minimals”

We are ever incapable of measuring up to the needs of this world, but through God’s guidance & power & wisdom, we can have an impact! Through HIM.

We are always lacking. We are always prone to self-seeking. We are always insufficient.

BUT GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING.

But How???

How can you serve God when you are broken…? Because God is everything.

Lean into Him. Take your mustard seed-sized offering to Him & ask Him to grow your meager offering into something for His glory.

Maybe It Means

Maybe it means starting a blog. Maybe it means starting a prayer circle to uplift others by turning to God together. Maybe it means offering to help clean up the church once a week. Maybe it means offering to help improve the graphics at church.

Maybe it means bringing meals to those who are suffering. Maybe it means offering to meet with another woman or teen in the church to pray & encourage one another. Maybe it means being intentional in praying over the needs of your church.

Lean Into Him

God created us all uniquely. God designed us all specifically. God gave us all different gifts. But God fills in our gaps.

So, lean into Him. Ask for His guidance in where to go next & what to do next. Ask Him to fill in your gaps. Ask Him where He can use you. Ask Him to work out your God-designed potential in you. Ask Him to help you trust Him more & more each day. Ask Him to help you to know & love Him more.

God Is Still God

When you’re broken, God is still God.

He doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called.

All we have to do is lean into Him & be willing to just show up.

Let His lamp be a light unto your feet. One. Step. At. A. Time.

Just trust HIM.

Coming Next Week

Check back on Thursday for this month’s special feature post!

Also, come back next Monday morning EST for some more encouragement from my heart to yours. <3

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Warrior Cuff

This brass gold, hammered, stacked cuff opens in the back and will be your go-to piece. (*Also available in silver color.)

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & they grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Fearless Earrings, empowering women out of poverty in Nepal!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Feeling Lost

Sprawled on the floor with a tear-stained face, wondering how you will survive through to the morning, wondering if you WANT to survive until the morning.

You have tried everything to revive the ruin of your life…. You have tried to stay positive…. You have tried to be strong.

And yet, here you are, melting into despair, wondering if a life ended is better than another day of the pain that you live now.

You know God. You consider yourself a Christian, knowing that Christ paid your debt to set you free from sin. And yet, you still wonder if even our great God could do anything to help bring hope into your crumbled, bleak resemblance of life.

And then the tinge of guilt for claiming to have faith while still falling apart.

It’s hard to admit you’re falling apart when others doubt your faith.

How do you give God your best when you have nothing left to give? How do you give God anything at all?

Being Faithful in Weakness

It’s so easy to think that faithfulness means never struggling, but how many retellings in the Bible express immense struggles, while still remaining faithful?

Sometimes, doesn’t it feel like, as a Christian, we put this pressure on ourselves to “measure up” to the “standard”?

It feels like being faithful means being perfect all the time.

Like being faithful means never messing up.

Like being faithful means never being overwhelmed by hurt & pain & stress.

We think that being faithful means always being strong & always believing unwaveringly.

We think that being faithful means never falling apart.

We often think that it’s up to us to carry through the storm, to prove our faith.

But Still…

But no amount of our strength & no amount of positive thinking can bring back a loved one.

No amount of effort can erase a hole in our heart.

No amount of trying can undo a devastatingly painful circumstance.

Sometimes, no matter how tirelessly we try, our efforts just don’t do a thing to solve our problem or heal our heart or fix our situation.

So why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? As if, if we try harder next time, we can overcome?

Expressing Pain While Staying Faithful

If we struggle to put the expression or feelings of hurt, pain, or torment in the same sentence as faithfulness, think of some of the people represented throughout the Bible.

Think of Job’s loss & torment, while still praising & trusting God.

Think of David’s lamenting psalms, while still looking to God as his help & refuge.

Think of Christ’s bloody tears, while still obeying God’s mission to save us on the cross.

Faithfulness Isn’t…

Faithfulness does not mean being strong on our own.

Faithfulness does not mean we never cry out in pain.

Faithfulness does not mean we don’t hurt.

Faithfulness does not mean pretending our personal world isn’t falling apart.

Faithfulness does not mean never wanting to quit.

Giving Our Best-Even When It’s Small

Even when we have nothing, even when we are at our worst, we can give God our best just by trusting God to be enough when we are not.

Mustard seed-sized faith–“small, barely holding on, but knowing somewhere, somehow, God CAN” type faith.

Faith that says, “I personally can see no way of hope, but if anyone can, God CAN.”

Stepping outside of the chaos & destruction to say, “God, how can You bring anything good out of THIS? How can THIS be part of Your PLAN?! Help me to trust You because I don’t know how to hold on anymore. I don’t have a plan. I can’t fix it. But God, You are somehow enough. Help me to rest in that. Help me to trust You when every odd seems to be working against me. I can’t. I CAN’T.

But You CAN.”

That’s faith. Trusting that He CAN in the midst of our CAN’Ts.

Giving To Get, But GOD

You see, as people, we have the tendency to think that to have faith or to give God our best, we need to be strong warriors. We think we have to bring something to the table for God to use.

But even when we have nothing, God CAN.

In those times of loss & despair, where nothing seems like it could ever improve, we have the rare opportunity to see that, plainly stated, IT’S NOT US.

That even when we are falling apart at the seams, GOD IS ENOUGH.

Even without our help.

Trusting in the Hurricane

As I sit here in the hospital with my 24-year old baby sister who is recovering from a ruptured appendix, I am reminded of this beautiful truth.

As I sat crying on the couch last Monday, after hearing that my sister was fighting for her life on the other side of the globe, I was reminded of this truth.

Botched travel plans & a day of rushing through three train stations & two airports, I was reminded of this truth.

I didn’t have anything to give. I couldn’t beam to Florida, from Japan, to be with my sister. I couldn’t fix the travel woes. I couldn’t heal her. I couldn’t control anything.

I cried. A lot.

And as I lay there frustrated & aching & scared, on my couch in Japan, far away from my sister, I was reminded that God CAN.

God never loses control.

God Reigns Through It ALL

He sees it all.

It may not turn out the way I expect or the way my limited perspective longs for, but He makes it fit together in a plan so big & so vast that expands beyond the current circumstances.

As I heard in a song once, “Sometimes God calms the storm & sometimes He calms His child.”

You see, even IF things do not go the way we pray. Even if it all seems to fall apart, God never wastes a moment & He is always in control.

He offers peace in the torment. He offers strength in the collapse. He offers power over the fear. He offers courage in the unknowns. He offers HOPE in the midst of hopeless.

He is always working HOPE. He is always pointing back to Himself. He is always offering to sustain us.

God CAN.

GOD CAN

So, as I sit here (now writing from the hospital cafeteria, in Florida, as my sister rests), I am reminded that GOD CAN.

I feel strength I didn’t muster. I feel courage amidst the fear. I feel peace in the storm.

God is with us. He is sustaining us. He is reviving us.

God has it in His able hands. God loves us unconditionally. God CAN.

And because I know my sister loves Jesus & has her hope placed in Him alone, I know that even if God had not indeed chosen a road to recovery, (*Which it miraculously seems recovery is where we’re headed at this point!!!!), God would have taken her to a shining & glorious place called Heaven, where she can rush into the loving arms of her Savior & dance a dance of hope & love & eternal joy.

God always has a plan. All for Him, even when things don’t go our way, but thank You Lord for the recovery we are seeing!!!!!

Even When… God’s Grace Remains

Even when we feel lost

Even when all hope is gone

Even when our hurt seems strong

God’s grace will still remain

And even when all crashes down

And even when our strength is gone

And even when we’ve given up

God’s good grace still overcomes

We may have nothing

To offer Him

We may have nothing

To offer Him

We may be hurting, all hope feels gone

BUT God’s Grace still reigns the day

God’s GOOD GRACE reigns always

((*Always shine HOPE, even if it means saying, “God, I can’t do this, but You can.”))

If you feel God is not calming the storm, pray & ask for His strength to carry you through. Ask for His peace & courage. Ask for His perspective.

And listen to “Blessings” by Laura Story.

*I don’t own the rights to this song. All rights to Laura Story & Company.

Coming Next Week

*I am sorry for the lapse last week. That was the day I found out about my sister. Thank you for showing me grace & for your prayers as she has a long road to recovery. Thank You, Lord, for Your healing power & sustaining grace!!!*

Check back every Monday morning EST for more encouragement! Love you, sisters!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Horizon Earrings

These golden diamond shaped earrings are wrapped with vibrant coral thread.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, adult literacy programs, & self-help groups! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Awakening Bracelet from India!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Struggle Is Real

One thing that is a constant struggle for me is being still.

Ever since a Smart Phone entered my life, I have had games, communication, & internet all at my fingertips… at all times.

I definitely love the convenience, but I must confess that my Smart Phone has sort of taken over my life.

Even having turned off push notifications for everything other than regular texts, I still find myself grabbing for it in the quiet moments.

How do I get my life back?

Every Morning, Every Night, & Everywhere in Between

First thing in the morning & last thing before bed consists of an hour or so of catching up on replies on Facebook & emails, as well as playing through my “lives” for my current game obsession.

In those still moments, I used to just rest, reflect on my day, & pray. But now, I am consumed with filling every moment with activity.

In those quiet moments, I now get restless, too used to having memes, posts, comments, & games at my fingertips.

I Need Rest

I find myself thirsty for rest. Quiet, peaceful, rejuvenating rest.

Maybe I will learn to not allow phones or other devices to enter my bedroom, so I am forced to just relax, reflect, & pray.

Maybe I will keep my phone in the other room during the day, so I can maybe get out of the habit of grabbing for it in every quiet moment.

Maybe I will start praying & asking God to pry that obsession out of my tight grasp.

Maybe I will take more hot baths, where my tension can melt away, or take more walks/runs, while I am left with my thoughts, having a conversation with God about every stressor that nags in the back of my mind.

Nagging Restlessness

Do you have those thoughts? Maybe, like me, you have a project (or ten) that you keep meaning to finish. Maybe there’s a call you keep putting off. Maybe a chore you find disgusting or a bad habit that keeps coming back to bite you? Nagging thoughts that keep you restless.

I can’t imagine I am the only one with these background noise naggings that play on in my head.

I guess that’s why my phone is so tempting. I can easily tune out the nagging if I keep busy.

But the nagging continues, the thoughts still hover over each day, & the restlessness builds.

Being Still in Quiet Moments

I need more quiet in my life. I need to learn how to be still. I need to learn how to quiet my mind & heart & to take those nagging problems to God in prayer so He can begin working an answer out in my heart.

I can run from my nagging thoughts, but they will keep coming until they are solved.

I want to learn to stop running & to take those nagging problems to God.
I want to learn how to be still & trust God.

Asking God for Solutions, Strength, & REST

I want to start asking God for the diligence, creativity, & wisdom to finish those unfinished projects. I want to ask God for the courage to make the call. I want to ask God to help me be an overcomer—even if it’s just cleaning the grimy grossness of a toilet bowl. I want to ask God to help me change my habits & to shape me into the woman He designed me to be.

No more running. I want rest for my soul. I want quiet moments with my Lord.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

It’s time to set limits on my phone use & when I am tempted to grab my phone, to instead stop & say, “God, help me overcome this temptation to run away from the restless naggings of my heart. Help me to learn what it means to be still in quiet rest with You. Renew me. Strengthen me. Help me to know & love You more each day. Amen!”

May this be the prayer of our hearts as we seek to live a life that honors & glorifies our loving Father in Heaven. Because He first loved us, let us strive to love Him all the more each day.

Shine Hope, Lovely!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back here every Monday morning EST for more weekly encouragement!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Western Stud Trio

These simple yet modern studs come in a set of three pairs: a gold, a silver, & a rose gold pair.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop these & more Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Getting Vulnerable

Today, I am about to get a little vulnerable with you. I am going to let you peek inside my reality of living in a foreign country, away from most English. I am going to share my journey with high stress & anxiety.

Some of you, if you have not had a similar experience, may be tempted to roll your eyes at me. You may think I am grossly exaggerating the truth in order to get attention or to make an interesting story & I honestly wish that were the truth, but it isn’t.

Some of you may know exactly how this feels & have felt like maybe you were the only one who has ever been ripped to shreds through anxiety & stress. You aren’t.

You Are Not Crazy.

Mental illness & struggles can make you feel like you have gone mad & you wonder what is wrong with you. Anxiety, like most mental struggles is something that does not discriminate & if left unchecked can literally ruin your relationships & your life. Sometimes, it can lead to suicide.

Anxiety, depression, high stress, PPD, PTSD, & so many other mental illnesses or imbalances can be serious business. Don’t take them lightly. Get help. It’s okay to not be okay.

Offer Unconditional Love

If someone you know confesses to a deep problem with anxiety or the other many mental illnesses/struggles out there, pray with them, for them, & seek to get them help & support. Show them that it is okay to not be okay. Show them that you love them in the mess, without expecting them to “get better” while you avoid them in the meantime. Trust God to be your strength & wisdom as you love them through their struggle. You don’t have to have all the answers or the great solution. Just love them & give them a safe space.

So, here I go….

A History of Depression

As a background, I have been through struggles with depression twice in my life. The first time was two full years in high school that left me in deep sobs almost every day, wishing my life were over, but too scared for suicide.

The second time depression hit, it hit twice as hard. I think because the first round drew me to understand how real God is & how much He really does love me, I assumed it was a lesson learned & thought that was the end of it, so when it attacked again, I fell hard. Suicidal plans on several occasions fortunately scared me into getting help.

God Guides When We Let Him

Fast forward about ten years & I meet Jamie, my handsome husband whom I love dearly. I was scared of commitment & hurt from my past, but God walked alongside me & gave me the confidence to lean into Him to guide me through my relationship of dating Jamie.

Through God’s amazingly inconceivable guidance (really, it blows my mind when I realize how involved He is when we let Him! Check out our love story, here), but through that, God led us to our wedding day for which I am eternally grateful.

Wedded Bliss Is Sometimes Stressful–Can I Get an Amen?

Three months after that wedding day, we moved to the opposite side of the planet, to beautiful, tropical Guam.

In my mind, living on a tropical island seemed like a dream rather than reality, but stress does not discriminate based on location.

I didn’t have a job or a car or friends for a good long time on Guam. I had come so eager & full of life & love, but was not met with great response.

Jamie worked twelve-hour shifts, plus the drive to & from, & usually ended up taking on extra shifts into his days off. Inevitably, he had little energy or much of anything left to offer me when he was home.

My life was defined by isolation & extreme loneliness like I had never known before.

Add to that, the fighting.

So. Much. Fighting. He was tired, I was sad… It wasn’t a great combination. It left him feeling inadequate & strained… It left me feeling abandoned & unloved.

While God worked through our tensions, through much prayer time as a couple, our relationship grew stronger, but the overall stress remained.

I became resentful of my circumstances & instead of bowing them at the feet of Jesus & clinging to Him as my ENOUGH while I struggled, I grew bitter because the pain I struggled with every day refused to go away for good.

Enter: Life as a Foreigner

Then we moved to Japan.

We moved to an area of Japan with almost ZERO English spoken or written. We moved to an area of Japan where full conversations rarely happened because broken English made them more difficult. We moved to an area of Japan that made my foreignness stand out like a glaring neon sign, mocking me at every difficulty to live my day to day life.

I loved our time there & our friends & church family & the immense beauty seen & adventures had, but stress was a natural byproduct of living life as a foreigner.

Loneliness increased. Isolation increased. Pressure & strain increased.

I was HAPPY with my life, but I was so stressed out that I couldn’t seem to enjoy it for very long! That’s part of what made me feel crazy because I could acknowledge the good in my life, yet still feel like I was crumbling.

Feeling the Disconnect

Thankfully, Jamie & I had learned on Guam that the fight was not against each other & since he had a lighter work schedule, we tended to work together instead of against each other on this move, but he still couldn’t fully grasp my struggle since he had some English spoken at work & dealt with equipment in English.

On top of that, church was in Japanese, with translators we are eternally indebted to & grateful for, but who were not professionals. We missed a lot just because that’s how it is. Lost in translation was another hurdle because words don’t always translate the same way in different languages.

Stress Off the Charts

I am certain that I would have broken a stress test had I had the opportunity to take one. I was crumbling with each passing week.

Eventually, I didn’t even recognize myself anymore.

The joy, the optimism, the hope, the faith in God’s ability & love… Regular prayer & hope in God… Spiritual support & encouragement… Everything started fading to grey & then turning to black.

Survival Mode

I started giving up & turning to survival mode only.

Every day was about getting myself to live until the next day.

Some days, all plans got thrown out the window because a day of Netflix was all that my stress & anxiety could handle.

I watched happy videos & read happy posts on Facebook that left me in bitter tears–incredibly sad that it felt so out of reach for me.

My Past Struggle with “Barrenness”

(*I put that in quotes because I don’t know if I am actually barren. I just know that despite the doctors giving me green lights across the board, I have no baby to show for 5-6 years of trying.)

On top of everything was a lack of children. My dream was to have children & to raise them intentionally to be lights out in the dark world for Christ long after I am gone, but God withheld even that from me. I felt like He was saying I wasn’t even good enough for that gift.

I thought maybe if I had purpose as a Mom… Someone to keep me company & love me… Someone I could love & pour into…. But God kept saying no. It crushed my spirit.

(*As an update on children, God has really shone light & hope into that area for me so that it no longer haunts me with disappointment, bitterness & pain… check out my blog post on it, here.)

The Crazy Got Worse

And then the rage came.

To people that ask, I describe it as having had a rage monster living inside of me, who thrashes & scrapes at me constantly. The rage began controlling my life.

And the sadness. The tears.

The triggers seemed to grow exponentially as things that once seemed to roll of my back as no big deal now seemed like it was the end of the world. When once I would shrug & laugh it off, now it seemed to rip through to my core, erupting tears of despair or uncontrolled bouts of rage.

I felt my sanity slipping & it scared me!

I remember calling Jamie when I was on home leave (with him meeting me in a week or so), crying because I thought that being away from the stress would relax me, but that I still felt uncontrolled rage & sadness at every tiny trigger. I was crushed!

Don’t get me wrong, I still had good hours, days, & weeks, but it was just that when things used to just slide off me, now they consumed me with anger or despair. I knew, logically, that there was no reason to feel so distraught, but it didn’t seem to matter. Imagine PMS that never ends & your emotions are on a constant roller coaster to the extreme.

And It Got Worse

And my language. WOW. Growing up in a Christian home, I always watched my mouth (soapy tongue was the consequence if I didn’t control it). And then, all of a sudden my language was more foul that I had ever heard from those who let it flow. (All of this was under my breath or when no one was around, but when no one was home, it was screamed.)

As an example, in trying to pack up our nativity scene after one Christmas, the Styrofoam packaging kept breaking apart, would not fit back together properly, & thus was a struggle to get it back into the box. My reaction? Dropping the Styrofoam with nativity piece & then chucking the box at the wall until it tore into several pieces, all while stringing together ten or more curse words at full volume (imagine a shrieking scream as I yelled them). Then? Tears.

The crazy was getting real & I couldn’t figure out how to make it stop.

Hurting Those Around Me

That became my life. It took everything in me to keep from doing that in front of Jamie, but I would try to leave the room to react or write long hateful messages on my phone notes to get it out of my system before I could explode.

Our cat, Cisco, would even hide from me when I would erupt, too scared for me to touch him.

Broken, & Feeling Hopeless

I didn’t recognize myself. I was broken & I couldn’t seem to put myself together again.

Hope was slowly draining out of every pore in me.

No one seemed to understand. Everyone had flat suggestions that I had tried a billion times. They seemed to be slowly stepping away from me, trying to avoid my stress from seeping into their own lives.

I felt SO ALONE!

A Safe Space

Luckily, because Jamie knew my history with depression, he was a safe space for me, which gave me some control over it completely devouring my life & sending me to suicide, but I was barely holding on each day.

When we had the choice to leave Hokkaido or extend, I told Jamie, “Here is my opinion. Either we leave as soon as we are contractually allowed to go, or we sign me up for counseling as soon as we possibly can because I am falling apart & I need serious help. This is not a drill. This is not an exaggeration. This is not a temporary emotional tremor. I need help. NOW. Because, if we do not leave the immensely consuming stress triggers or if I don’t get help soon, I am going to be a risk for suicide. I need help now.”

He listened, thankfully, & we moved within a few months. Praise GOD.

Recovering from the Damage

But the damage had already been done & it followed me like a threatening plague that had infiltrated my life.

I started asking God for help.

My prayers were barely believing, merely out of desperation, & they sounded something like, “I don’t know if You even care about me anymore or why You’re letting me just keep suffering, but somehow I know You must have a plan. Don’t You? Help me! I have nothing left, but I need help, so please help me.”

My Faith Was Small, But My God Is BIG

I barely believed He would even do anything.

Barely believed… you might say I had only a mustard seed-sized faith. Sound familiar? (Luke 17:6)

I had nothing left to give. Nothing to contribute to getting better. Nothing to offer God to use to help me.

I was broken & beaten. I was scarred & scared. I was sad & lonely. I was angry & bitter & hurt. No strength left to even lick my wounds. Just exhausted & done fighting it. I felt hurt at the woman I had become from a woman of strong faith in God’s ability, power, & love, to a woman sniveling on the floor, not strong enough to even lift her head out of the muck that was my life.

But, GOD

But. God. Can.

He. Is. Able.

When I can’t, He can.

When I can’t offer anything, He offers His all.

When I see no foreseeable victory, He conquers it all.

When I give up, He stays faithful.

When I am broken, He heals me.

He. Is. Enough.

There IS Hope

So, in those moments where you feel you’re not enough… When you feel like your life is falling apart & there is no fix in sight… GOD CAN.

When you feel resentful & bitter & have given up… GOD CAN.

When you feel you can’t fix it… GOD CAN.

When you are a complete failure with no value left to offer the world… GOD CAN.

GOD. CAN.

Sometimes, He lets us face the hardest trials of life where we cannot see any hope or good coming from it, but GOD HAS A PLAN.

God Is Mighty!!

In those moments we have the opportunity to see just how GREAT & MIGHTY & POWERFUL God is, because we know that none of it was from us!

Cling to Him. Lean into Him. Collapse into His arms or at His feet. Cry out to Him. Be honest with Him.

Ask for a heart change to allow you to trust Him when you don’t.

Just. Trust. Him.

GOD. CAN.

You have a choice between two statements:

“God, I can’t do this. I am broken. I am bitter & angry & sad. I fail at everything. I don’t have anything left to give. I give up.”

OR

“God, I can’t do this. I am broken. I am bitter & angry & sad. I fail at everything. I don’t have anything left to give. But You are MIGHTY. Help me to trust YOU. Help me to cling to YOU. Thought the storm may rage around me, yet I will trust in YOU.”

Amen?

AMEN!

I hope this has encouraged someone. I hope this has helped you see that in the hopeless, there is still hope.

Only. In. Christ Jesus.

Shine HOPE!

Coming Next Week

Check back every Monday morning EST for more encouragement!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Legacy Necklace

This necklace features a cream & grey chevron pendant made from ethically collected bone & resin, which distributes 20 strands of shimmering fringe.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & they grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & to send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

We Want to Want It

For those of us who want to live a life that is pleasing to God, many of us have struggled being faithful. In other words, we may feel a struggle to be consistent in our faithfulness of living for God. (I know I do!)

I want to do right by God, but I am often torn between laziness/selfishness/rebellion &/or a guilted strain that feels I just can’t measure up.

(*To clarify, we do not want to live a life that pleases God out of duty or necessity (aka trying to earn salvation) but because we yearn to live this way out of gratitude to our Redeemer & so we long to honor Him with our lives.)

Either/Or, Or Nothing…?

But, we often fall into the trap of unintentional legalism, like we are earning God’s favor in return for our salvation from Hell by doing good works for Him. (*Hint: no amount of good works will ever undo the wrong you have already done & will do—only accepting Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf can accomplish that!)

We either strive to be good enough, never missing a day of quiet time, feeling strained by a need to be good enough for God… OR, we avoid it because we feel our constantly failed efforts and/or lack of genuine joy in doing it will displease God (& it makes us feel bad about ourselves—which makes it easier to avoid it altogether!)

Either of those above options are wrong, just so we’re clear!

We should not be straining ourselves in order to try to earn our place in Heaven & “buy back” our salvation.

We also should not give up just because we feel we’re not consistent enough or joyful enough in our attempts.

The Deceiver Who Never Quits

One of the biggest lies that Satan uses in American culture, in my opinion, is that if we do not feel genuine joy in doing something for God, we just shouldn’t do it, because it’s “fake” & since we know God knows it’s fake, we feel guilt carrying on that way, so we stop.

But listen to this—God accepts every effort we put forth & our efforts do not determine whether God thinks we’re “good enough.”

ALSO, listen to this—God offers us HIS power, wisdom, & strength to carry out whatever He asks of us—that INCLUDES living in a way that pleases Him!

Wow!

God Provides Where We Lack

So, God isn’t waiting around for us to live “good” enough to earn His favor & His salvation & He also doesn’t expect us to even BE “good enough” to live for Him through our OWN strength, wisdom, & power.

He is sufficient!

Fake It ’til You Make It

So, why did I title this post “Fake It Til You Make It-Growing in Faithfulness”?

Does this mean I am implying that we should not strive to have a genuine heart of joy to live a life that please God? No way!

BUT, we don’t have to wait until we are feeling sincere enough before we begin striving to please God.

That’s where the “faking it” concept comes from—even if we don’t feel genuine in our joy to live for God, we should strive to do it anyway, simply because we know it pleases Him.

Love As an Action, Not a Feeling

Just like when you have a spouse or friends or other family—you don’t live in a way that serves, supports, & loves them ONLY when you feel like you WANT to or when you feel PURE joy in doing so. You serve, support, & love your friends & family because love loves, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

But don’t despair. Don’t stop there. Don’t be content to drudge through service to God. Pray about it!

Pray for a Changed Heart

Our hearts are naturally rebellious & stubborn & selfish… & God gets that fact! But He also has the power to change your perspective & soften your heart toward Him.

So, don’t be shy in asking for His help. He’s got the power to change you from the inside out.

So, ask Him for a heart softened by His love & an inner joy for serving Him. Ask Him to change your perspective to not serve from a place of duty or burden, but from an outpouring of His own love for you.

And then, do it anyway.

Tell God, “God, you know I WANT to please You, but I feel SO STUBBORN & Hard-Hearted toward You! Please forgive me & change my heart to see the joy that comes from living a life for You. Pour Your love into me & change me from the inside out. Help give me the clarity of mind, Your strength, Your power, & Your Wisdom to live in a way that honors You & glorifies You & pleases You, because I can’t do it well on my own! Soften my stubborn heart & incline my spirit toward Your love. Help me serve You well through YOUR power & strength. I love You, but I want to love You more. AMEN.”

Now, the words don’t have to match those exactly. You know your heart & your holdups, so just be honest with Him. Pour out your heart & thoughts to Him, & trust His power to help you overcome your limitations. He. Is. ABLE.

Walk in Faith–Just Start Somewhere

So, just start. Even if you just start by committing to read ONE PAGE of your Bible each day & just pray alone for only FIVE MINUTES every day, start somewhere & ask God to grow you in your willingness more each day, week, & year.

I personally had never read through the whole Bible, even after being saved at age five. (Think of all the years I missed out!) Then, I started praying against my limitations & my misperceptions & I just started somewhere.

The first read-through of the Bible for me was finished December 2017 & took me 1.5+ years to complete (because I kept missing days & then giving up when I got behind).

The second read through for me was started January 1, 2018 & completed just recently, on December 31, 2018! Sure, I missed some days, but I gave myself grace for my mistakes & leaned into God’s power when I didn’t “feel like it.” He prevailed against my headaches, sick days, busy days, distractions, & my rebellious/stubborn days!

Progress, Not Perfection = Growth

Remember my post from a couple weeks ago about “Not Perfection, But Progress”? That’s what it’s about–Progress! (*Check out that post, here.)

You see, “fake it until you make it” here means that even if the circumstances or the condition of your heart are not ideal or perfectly genuine, we do it anyway.

We do it anyway for two reasons—ONE, even in less than ideal conditions & even when our heart isn’t “feeling it”, we still will benefit with every bit of effort we put into getting to know our Savior more! Even the little, teeny, weeny, tiny, itty, bitty bits of growth… Guess what? Still growth!

And TWO, when we don’t “feel like it”, God has the power to help us overcome those negative feelings which threaten to keep us from growth & that threaten to keep us from living a life that pleases Him. (Don’t you dare let Satan prevail in those moments, when we know for sure that God is infinitely more powerful & promises to be waiting to help us overcome! Let God win that!)

Just Start & Pray for Strength to Overcome

So, JUST DO IT!

It’s worth it.

Striving to live a life that pleases God honors Him. It grows you closer to Him. And it builds faithfulness to God in your own life—not through your own willpower, but through God’s INFINITE POWER.

SO, JUST. DO. IT!!

I promise you won’t regret it.

Shine HOPE, Lovely. Wherever you’re at in life right now, SHINE HOPE—through God’s power, not your own.

Love you!

Through Christ alone….

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning EST for more encouragement!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Truth Earrings

These incredibly light earrings are made with genuine local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

So Many Demands

The world we live in is so full of demands, isn’t it?

Whether it’s a job, errands, chores, mom-life, relationships, volunteer work, bills, etc., there’s a lot in life that demands our time, energy, & resources.

And when it comes to our relationship with God, sometimes it can seem like spending time with Him is just one more thing we are supposed to give our time, energy, &/or money to.

And sometimes, if we’re honest with ourselves, it feels like we only have our leftovers to offer Him, when all is said & done.

Sometimes, this reality gives us a sting of guilt & other times, the pressure of another demand seems crippling–especially one so important!

Another Way

But what if it’s meant to be different?

What if giving our time, energy, & resources to God actually gives us MORE time, energy, & resources to give to other things on the agenda?

Lucky for us, that’s exactly how it’s meant to work! God multiplies what we offer to Him of our time, energy, & resources!

I know, that may seem like religious mumbo jumbo to some of you. And some of you may have heard it in church, but still feel like the concept is so vague that you don’t really know how it actually is supposed to work out that way in reality.

That has been my sentiment for most of my life, if I’m being real with you.

Can It Be?

Growing up in church, I heard all of God’s promises at church, Sunday school, Bible studies, devotionals, Bible reading, etc. But they never really seemed anything more than a pleasant idea versus a solid reality I could count on.

Has anyone else ever felt that way?

Like it all sounds nice & we even memorize some of the verses with these nice ideas, but it never feels more than a nice idea.

But God wasn’t just giving us a Bible full of “look how nice all of these things sound!” No. He was writing to us, as GOD & Creator of this world, the truths about how He designed this world & how He promises to interact within it.

Have you ever thought about it that way?

He doesn’t just ask for our time, energy, & resources. He promises to help us make that happen AND give us a bigger return on our investment into growing His kingdom.

God Gives Us More Than We Can Give Him

Striving to have a fuller relationship with God can seem to put even more pressure on us, can’t it? Like we can barely hold together what we already are doing & then to feel like we have to give God even more than what’s left can seem like nothing more than a stress mess.

But here’s the cool part about it all, giving God our best really, actually helps us in every other way.

What we give to the world can seem to have little return on our investment, but what God gives in return far exceeds what we could ever dare to offer Him.

That’s the amazing thing about God.

He is limitless. He is infinite. He is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise.

Not Perfection, Just Trust

He doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He doesn’t expect us to earn His approval or love, but He does expect us to right our perspective when it’s gotten out of whack.

And this is one area that I feel is SO EASY to get out of whack—for all of us!!

It’s so easy to think of our relationship with Him as just another item on our to-do list.

But the true story is this, because God is limitless, infinite, all-powerful, all-knowing, & all-wise, His return on our investment is limitless!

Not in Our Strength, But His

The more time I personally spend reading the Bible, the more this truth becomes glaringly obvious—the confident, daring victories I read about in the Bible are not because these people were a cut above the rest of us.

No, they had doubts, weaknesses, insecurities, flaws, & failures just like anyone else!

So, what’s the difference then? Why does their life look so victorious, while mine is just fighting to get through another day?

The answer? They drew their strength & wisdom & power & confidence & peace from spending time with God versus trying to get through each day on their own!!

They were victors & conquerors in life BECAUSE they gave their BEST time, energy, focus, & resources to GOD! And in return, for their investment in God’s presence for His glory, God gave them strength, confidence, wisdom, power, peace, & etc. in return!

WOW!

Not a Sacrifice, But a Worthy Investment into God’s Kingdom

In those retellings of events in the Bible, giving God their best was not a sacrifice, it was an investment with God offering major returns!

Those victors knew they could trust God. And they acted on that trust!

They knew He was worthy of their all. So they gave their all!

They knew God’s love was genuine & unconditional & because of that, they went all in!

They weren’t always faithful, but God always was.

What they were willing to give, God gave much more in return.

And that same truth is true for us, too. It may seem like just one more drain on resources, time, or energy, when you already feel like you’re running on empty… But God always returns on what we invest.

Go All In!

So trust Him with your all!

Let HIM be your strength when all is failing.

Let HIM be your power when the odds seem unsurmountable.

Let HIM be your peace when despair beckons.

Let HIM be your confidence in the midst of your insecurities.

Let God in! Let God work! Go ALL in!

The Vine Of Life

Do not be content to be the lifeless, brittle, dry branch trying to live life your own way & in your own strength & wisdom— invest in your relationship with God & thus connect to the vine of life, Christ, who gives life & fulfillment & strength & joy & love & power to overcome!

He. Gives. LIFE.

Because He Loves Us So!

Remember that giving of our lives to Him is not guided by trying to earn His approval or to “be a good person”, but because we trust Him & His infinite love for us!

The more our life is centered on His love, the more of an outflow we will see of peace, patience, strength, wisdom, love, & confidence as we face the demands of this world.

It is so, so worth it!

But How?

How can you trust Him with more of your life? Here’s some quick tips:

1. Resources: God asks for a mere 10% of everything He provides, called “tithe”, but He challenges us to trust Him with even more. Our ability to work—our intelligence, strength, & natural abilities all come from Him, so offer back a portion to support your church in return. God never leaves you high & dry when you’re being generous for His purposes!
2. Time: Spend time reading the Bible to learn more about who God is & learn to pray throughout your day. Spending consistent time with him along the way will help right your focus/perspective & allow you insight on where you can be a blessing to others. This also allows you a direct lifeline to God’s strength, peace, & wisdom when you need it. He is infinite, so before you stress, ask God for His help! He’s ready & waiting!
3. Energy: Be involved in your church & encouraging others toward hope in Christ. Start a prayer circle for other moms or wives or singles. Volunteer at a nursing home, homeless shelter, or other cause to support & encourage those who are struggling. But remember, don’t just give to earn God’s favor—you already have that! Instead, be bowing your heart before God & asking Him to direct your efforts to the plans He has for you. He made you specifically you, so He knows where His design for you will best fit into His plan to offer hope, love, & light to a hurting world. Listen to His guidance.

Trust God with the Struggle

If you struggle with any of these, don’t forget to pray about it!

I often pray, when I hear a truth that I don’t know how to implement or put my full trust in, “Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!” Be willing to start there & to ask God to change you in ways that might be needed & ask His insight on how to make it happen.

Not in your wisdom, but His. Not in your strength/power, but HIS.

Bow your heart & any area that needs growth & then ask Him to show you how to grow & make sure to ask for His strength to make it happen! Trust Him—He is worth our all.

Shine Hope, Beautiful!!!!

Coming Next Week

I can’t wait to be with you next Monday morning EST for our next topic of encouragement.

PS. I am by no means perfect, so please pray alongside me that God will continue to grow me for the purposes of being a light to the world. I definitely don’t want to draw people to myself as the source of their hope, but to point them to the only source of true hope–Jesus!! That is my prayer for this blog & for my life. <3

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty

Bombolulu Earrings

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

My Mantra

My mantra for this new year of 2019 is, “Not Perfection, But Progress.”

Does anyone else tend to beat themselves up when they see how far they are from reaching certain goals or potential they see for themselves?

Each year, I tend to have some times where I am especially down on myself, looking back & seeing my failures & shortcomings as if they were glaring neon signs shouting my inadequacies.

I see where I want to be, the ways I have failed in getting there, & feel like each year there’s less & less chance I will ever get where I want to be.

That ends today.

Just Progress

I no longer want to place that pressure of unattainable perfection on my own shoulders day by day. I want, instead, to learn how to trust God in the PROGRESS.

I don’t want to stay trapped by trauma, scars, weaknesses, fears, or the failures in my past, but rather to strive in learning how to trust God to grow me into the potential He has created within me.

And then there’s the age old comparison game. “Well, she’s done this & I can’t even do this!” Everyone’s journey is different, so fix your eyes on Jesus & let Him work things out on His schedule.

This Year-Jesus

This year, I really want to work on pressing into my over-arching purpose—to glorify God in all areas of my life.

And that requires me to quit obsessing over the rearview mirror into my past, to quit obsessing over perfection in my present life, & instead, to press into the striving to know & love God more each day.

Progress, not perfection. That’s it.

God Can…

It can be paralyzing to look at everything you feel you were meant for, in comparison with where you are now.

Maybe you see your present circumstances & all of the limitations they barricade into your life. Maybe you see your past as less than victorious & wonder how that could ever change.

But God doesn’t think in “maybes”. God KNOWS what He is capable of in your life—if you are bowing it to Him. He knows His plan for you.

But God also knows our weaknesses, insecurities, limitations, failures, & fears better than anyone out there—even better than you know them yourself. AND, God knows how to help you overcome them–And even has the power to help make victory reality!

Instant Perfection Vs Perpetual Growth

As you are probably well aware, we don’t automatically become perfect upon salvation. None of us are “good Christians” when it all boils down to it.

But God is faithful & just to complete the work He began in us. HE completes the work in us—as we learn to submit each area of it to Him.

He perfects us along the way. It is not something we are expected to achieve overnight (or even in 2019). Just. Progress.

Allow Grace, Lean into Jesus, & Let Him Grow You!

So, that’s my encouragement for you this week. Allow yourself grace for your past shortcomings & allow God access to different areas of your life in need of growth. (& let Him be the author of that growth!)

Pray over each area you see needs change & trust His craftmanship to shape you into the woman He designed you to be.

As the children’s song reminds us, “He’s got the whole world in His hands.” That includes you.

Shine HOPE, Lovely, wherever you’re at in life right now, shine HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning EST for your next weekly dose of encouragement! Hope to “see” you then! (*Hint: Make sure to “Join My Tribe” at the top bar to keep from missing out!)

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Charisma Bracelet

This bracelet has lavender & light pink suede, threaded with faceted gold colored beads.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Through the sales of their beautiful pieces, women in India have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Dreaming of You

Do you ever envision a different “you” for the future? Like, when you close your eyes & picture how you wish your life looked, it’s a little different than how your life looks right now? (Or maybe a lot different!)

I am not talking about wishing you were rich, famous, & had everything you ever wanted… I am talking more along the lines of the person you wish you were: more fit, more dedicated to God, more peaceful/calm, more involved in the community, etc.

What would you wish your future self to look like?

Maybe she…:

• Is more disciplined rather than a “whenever, whatever, maybe I’ll get it done, maybe not” type mindset
• Is more “put together” rather than “thrown together”
• Is more diligent in spending time praying & reading her Bible rather than just at church
• Gets a rush from exercise rather than staying indoors on the couch
• Enjoys savoring healthier foods rather than fatty cravings that leave her regretting her life choices
• Is more involved in her community & takes more chances when it comes to showing love to those around her rather than shying away, wondering what people might think if she’s awkward or messes up
• Has more fun rather than working all the time
• Feels more calm, relaxed, & at peace rather than STRESS OVERLOAD
• Is more adventurous/spontaneous, travels more, or gets more accomplished rather than a “Someday, I will” attitude
• Is more organized rather than a hot mess

If you’re like me, you checked off a big chunk of those descriptions for the “girl you wish you were” that you see in your mind.

I feel ya.

The “One Simple Change” Challenge

Many of those items on the list above describe my dream vision of my future self & I spend a lot of time dreaming of this girl I wish I was. And I also find myself watching years go by with little change & little realization of this dream.

… Until I heard a phrase from a friend–The “One Simple Change” challenge. (Which I am calling “One Small Change” for the sake of not stealing their company motto.)

I saw my friend posting on social media each month about her new monthly “One Simple Change” & I was both intrigued & inspired!

Time Slips By

Life tends to sweep us up & carry us off to years later, where we are left wondering how so much time has passed already with seemingly little or nothing to show for it.

Do you feel that longing? Do you feel that pull to do bigger & greater things—or maybe just to feel like you have your life more “together”?

How Do We Eat An Elephant?

So how do we get there? How do we go from longing, wishing, & dreaming those big goals, to actually arriving at that dream goal of being the Woman you wish you were?

Have you ever heard the phrase, “How do you eat an elephant…? One bite at a time”? That’s how we do this. One “bite” at a time.

One, Two, Three–Let’s Go!

First, we start getting intentional about praying over our dreams, making sure they are God-honoring, & asking for His guidance & wisdom to get there.

Second, we write out our vision. (Try using the list above & add your own!)

Third, as the title of this post, “One Big Dream, One Small Change,” suggests, we take that big dream & we start small.

Work toward your future-self goal by taking one step at a time in the right direction.

One Small Change

Ever since seeing my friend taking this “One Simple Change” motto to heart, promoting on social media what her “one simple change” was for that month, I started dreaming in steps instead of dreaming of this far off, hazy, lofty, ambiguous goal of who I wished I was.

It’s amazing how small changes can add up over the years to make big changes in your life!

Think about small habits you can try adding (or subtracting) from your routine every day for one month at a time.

Try One! Just One. And Then Go From There!

Here are some “One Small Change” ideas that I have tried & some that are on my list to try. (I have even kept a majority of them as part of daily routine now & they have been amazing!) These are things that you can try doing every day for one month, as your “One Small Change”

1. Read your Bible every day
2. Write in a Prayer Journal every day
3. Write in a Gratitude Journal every day
4. Memorize a new Bible Verse every day or week
5. Write a Note of Encouragement to someone every day
6. Listen to an encouraging/inspiring podcast each day
7. Read an encouraging/inspiring book chapter each day
8. Meal prep healthy meals every week
9. Prepare fresh vegetable/fruit bags for snacks to grab & go each day
10. Drink 2 liters of water each day
11. Go for a walk outside for 30 minutes each day
12. Sign up for a craft or sports club in your town
13. Learn a new hobby
14. Volunteer once a week for a local shelter/hospital/nursing home
15. Open a separate bank account for a vacation fund & save a little each week
16. Declutter your house by going through a different room each week to purge extras
17. Donate old clothing to shelters or thrift stores
18. Do your nails each week
19. Pick a chore/task you have been putting off & get it knocked off your list
20. Take a hot bath or try some other restful activity once a day or once a week, to unwind

These are just a small sampling of ideas for you to choose from, but try to pick something small each month to help yourself grow toward your goal!

Grow Toward Your Goal

Don’t just expect to wake up one day & be changed into that vision of your future self–Grow toward it!

Before you know it, you will be looking back to see a more God-dedicated, stronger, healthier, more disciplined, more accomplished, more restful version of yourself!

I hope you will try this with me in the coming year, as we seek to grow toward our goals. We may be shaky at first, but no one is perfect from the get-go. Give yourself grace to try, fail, & improve. Just try.

Let’s no longer wait for years to pass, only to find ourselves no further than we started. Let’s push forward. Let’s take those small steps of change. Let’s improve & grow ourselves.

All the while, let us honor God with how we live our lives & how we spend our time.

What a great way to start our new year! 2019, here we come!!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning EST for your next weekly dose of encouragement! See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Charisma Bracelet

This bracelet has lavender & light pink suede, threaded with faceted gold colored beads.

Artisan Information

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

So Much to Do!

So, tomorrow is the big day–Christmas! The day that fills our hearts with wonder & glee.

There is a lot of pressure around this day, isn’t there?

I am realizing, with each passing year, that to keep traditions alive, I am actually the adult in the scenario now, haha. What a bummer, right?

My husband & I don’t have children yet, but for those of you with kids or grandkids, you have probably had this realization even stronger than I have.

It makes it a little easier to give myself a break when it’s just for me & my husband, & we can determine what to accomplish & what to skip each year.

But still, the pressure.

Can anyone relate? The shopping, the gift-wrapping, the food preparations, the dressing up & gifting for parties, the traditions, the Christmas cards (*which I have admittedly slacked off on since moving to Japan). And don’t forget decorating the tree, the house, & the yard. And maybe some Christmas nails??

The tinsel, the cards, the gifts, the music, the ornaments, the parties, the food, oh my!

There is a lot going on all at once during Christmas time.

And for those grieving a loss or spending the holidays alone, there is an extra sting that hits you during Christmas. Because Christmas is “supposed to be” jolly & bright & when it’s not, it stings that much more.

Maybe Christmas, She Thought…

But then I take a moment to reflect, as Cindy Lou Who did in The Grinch.

“Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of Christmas, but sometimes that whirlwind becomes one “Razzle Dazzle” distraction from what it’s all about—HOPE for the WORLD.

The Nativity, The Humility

Maybe, like us, you have a nativity scene in your home. Maybe it’s big, maybe it’s small. Maybe it’s brightly colored, maybe it’s muted & simple. (*My personal favorite is the Willow Tree set, gifted piece by piece from our family each year!)

But when I think over that scene, I think of one word, (besides hope)–Humility.

That Nativity scene was the scene of truest humility.

Mary humbly accepted God’s plan to carry, give birth to, & raise Jesus.

Joseph humbly accepted marrying an already pregnant woman.

The shepherds were humbly dressed & of little esteem.

The wise men humbly dropped everything to travel to meet Jesus.

The humble birth took place in a barn, surrounded by dirty animals.

Jesus was God in flesh, humbly presenting Himself as Emmanuel, God-with-Us, an eventual sacrifice for the hurting world to reunite us to Himself through His blood.

Humility.

Expensive gifts were given, but to this King of kings come as a babe,

Angels rejoiced in splendor, but to this Creator, Eternal, Majestic God come down to lowly Earth, limiting His own power to represent Love & Hope to the world.

Jesus Christ, the God of gods, came down to serve man. He came to bind up the broken-hearted, to preach Truth, to dispel confusion & lies, to heal any ailments of any passerby. He came to humble Himself to the cross for our sakes.

He had full right to rule, but He came to serve.

Humility.

Rejoicing in Him VS. the “Extra Stuff”

So, as this Christmas approaches, I am trying to keep that in the center—humility. Remembering the humility of Christ, of the Nativity scene, & remembering to humble my heart before God Almighty.

It’s the time of year that we celebrate Jesus’ birthday. Yet, He came to give us the greatest gift of all–Himself & the Way to Himself through the cross.

Growing in Humility This Christmas

I am praying that God helps me to submit more pieces of my life & heart to Him, so that He can do even better & greater things through me.

I want to be used by God.

I am not naturally humble or meek, but I know that God is worth my time, energy, & thoughts.

Be a Mary

If you have heart the story of Mary & Martha, I want to live more of a “Mary life” in a “Martha world.”

n the midst of all of the hustle & bustle, I want to intentionally stop & rest in the true hope of Christmas—Jesus Christ.

“As Jesus & His disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him & asked, “Lord, don’t You care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried & upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, & it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 (Emphasis added.)

So, this Christmas, be like this Mary.

Her sister, Martha, was like most of us during Christmastime—“But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made….”

There is nothing wrong with holiday traditions & celebrations, but remember not to let them overshadow the true celebration of Christmas—Jesus.

Rest in Him. Rest in the humility that the nativity presents. Rest in God’s greatness above the greatness of our holiday celebrations.

Give yourself a rest & rest in Him.

He is “what is better.” Always.

May your heart be full of joy. May you allow God to heal & bind up your broken heart. May your days be filled with His sweetest blessings. May you find REST this Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Beautiful One!!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Inverted Capiz Earrings

These earrings feature shimmery, creamy white capiz shells, each framed by a black edge.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, and social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Know It. Believe It. Stand Firm in It.

As we draw nearer to Christmas, I think it’s important to know the things God says we can count on Him for.

Hard times, stress, grief, & other areas of strain do not take a break for Christmas, so we need to be prepared to know how to lean on the One who is above it all.

I am not ignorant of living in stress or anxiety. It can be easy for me to allow that pair to rule my life, if I let them.

And sometimes they seem to scream at me to let them rule me.

But God gives us promises that we can lean on & stand firm in in any situation, so I think it’s important to remind ourselves of those Truths constantly & daily.

Not Like Ours… BETTER

You see, God’s promises are not like ours.

We are fickle. We forget. We change our minds. We sometimes hold grudges & act accordingly (whether we intend to or not).

We are fallible. We are limited.

But God is not. He is infallible & unlimited.

He is also faithful, kind, patient, & He totally & completely loves us regardless of whether we think we are deserving.

He is steadfast. He is all-knowing & never forgets anything past, present, or future. He doesn’t go back on a promise. He doesn’t act out of spite, but always out of love.

When God gives us a promise, listen up carefully, because it will be something we can “take to the bank”, as the saying goes. In other words, we mustn’t read His promises as if they are something that COULD happen, but rather, something that WILL DEFINITELY happen.

He keeps His Word. Period.

Just Say No. And Trust God.

So, when Satan tries to bash you with lies & overwhelm you with doubts & fears & hurt & anger & bitterness & etc. etc. etc., turn to God’s Truth so you know how to knock each blow with an effective block.

“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:13) (Emphasis added.)

(*Check out the rest of Ephesians 6 to know what God says when He mentions the “full armor of God”.–God provides everything we need when we’re trusting in Him!!)

Know His Word… And Pray

This is one reason why knowing God’s Word is so incredibly valuable for us. Knowing God’s Word makes us stronger because we can stand firm in Truth. We don’t have to waver.

We don’t have to doubt. We aren’t easily knocked down.

Knowing His Word is so important!

But be careful to also be spending time talking with God & growing a personal relationship with Him, through prayer. (*Read more about “The Greatest Prayer-To Know & Love God” in last week’s post, here!)

If you remember, the devil even tried to tempt Jesus using God’s Word! (*Read that account in Matthew 4.) It obviously didn’t work, but it’s a lesson to us that simply knowing the Truth is not enough. We need to also be spending time with God in prayer, growing in understanding & discernment.

(*Read more about what prayer actually accomplishes, here.)

Let’s Remember Some Promises We Can Stand On

So, this week, I am going to be spending some time sharing about some of the promises of God so that we can stand firm against the lies of this world. (Lies are always authored by the devil.)

God is the author of Truth, so let’s check out a few of the things He has to tell us.

There are so many promises I could touch on today, but for the sake of brevity, I will only touch on a few.

This week, I will share about God’s sovereignty as well as His promises to:

1. Heal the broken-hearted
2. Be our refuge & our strength
3. Give wisdom to those who seek Him
4. Be our “Enough”
5. Redeem us at our worst

God Is Sovereign

God’s Sovereignty runs through everything we are talking about today, because simply put, He is ENOUGH. He is our All in all. He is our Creator, Sustainer, & Redeemer. He is Beginning & End. What He says, goes. He is the Author of Truth & Life & Love & HOPE. He. Is. GOD.

And so, in everything we talk about today (& every day), we can rest confident that what God says will happen, every single time, no matter what, always. Nothing can thwart Him.

He IS.

As Colossians 1:17 aptly puts it, “He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.”

(*If you want a *One Page* summary of verses to describe *God’s Sovereignty*, check out this post by All About God, here. **Disclaimer, I have not checked the legitimacy of Truth on this entire site, but this page is legit & Scripture-soaked in goodness!)

God Heals the Broken-Hearted

So, for our first promise to cover for today, God tells us that, among other things, one mission of His is to bind up/heal the broken-hearted.

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
Because the LORD has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;….” (Isaiah 61:1) (emphasis added)

He doesn’t just want to simply help you cover up old wounds, He wants to bring healing. He CAN bring healing.

He is in the business of restoration.

So, let Him, Darling One.

If you have an ache that can’t be soothed, a scar that cannot seem to stop mocking you, or a grief big or small, God sees you. He sees your hidden hurting.

And He loves you so much.

Let Him Heal… Lean Into Him

Do you feel Him beckoning you into His arms? It’s not your imagination. He is not a figment of your imagination. He is real & He is faithful & He is calling to heal you.

He comes to us to heal our broken hearts & to refresh & renew us after big hurts (& little ones), as we let Him.

He knows you deeply, inside & out. He loves you the same way.

So, if that describes you (even for those background, nagging hurts that you try to convince yourself aren’t there or that you can “handle them.”), lean into Him & ask for His healing.

Don’t put all the weight of that burden on yourself, Darling. Dump it in His willing, loving, able arms & let Him wrap you up in comfort & love & healing.

God Is Our Refuge & Our Strength

This carries into our second promise to cover in this post, from Psalm 46:1-3, 7:

“God is our refuge & strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
Even though the earth be removed,
And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
Though its waters roar & be troubled,
Though the mountains shake with its swelling. Selah…
… The LORD of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah” (Emphasis added.)

Not only does God promise to heal our hurts, He also promises to be a refuge for us in times of troubles.

When we fear, when we tremble, when we worry… We can lean into Him & count on Him because He Is Enough.

He Gives Perfect Wisdom

Promise number three for today is that God gives wisdom to those who seek Him for it.

Matthew 7:7-8 says: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Emphasis added.)

And James 1:5 tells us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (Emphasis added.)

When faced with trials, temptation, anxiety, etc., we can always turn to God for the best answers to our questions.

We must remember that this does not mean asking God to confirm what we already want to believe, so we may feel justified in our own wisdom, but rather to lay aside our earthly wisdom in exchange for His Perfect Truth & Wisdom.

Do you want actual truth? Or do you just want validation to believe what you want to believe?

As says Isaiah 55, “His ways our higher than our ways.” We must learn to lay our wisdom down in exchange for asking God to fill us with His unfailing wisdom.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways My ways,”
declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways
and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9) (Emphasis added.)

His Word never fails. We can count on it. It’s worth the trade a million times over to exchange our will & way for His. Every time.

So, seek His wisdom. Seek TRUTH. And you WILL find it in Him. Keep ASKING!

His “Enoughness”

Promise number 4 really puts everything into perspective. Stress, anxiety, fear… all of it cannot stand up to the “Enoughness” of God.

He is Sufficient. In EVERYTHING.

With every command or instruction He gives, it comes with His power to make it happen.

He doesn’t expect us to become super humans or decrepit slaves in order to obey Him.

He showers us with grace, lavishes love upon us, calls us forgiven & redeemed, & THEN gives us everything we need in order to accomplish anything He asks.

What an awesome deal!!!

And what does He ask? Well, He says that every commandment hinges on just two…

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart & with all your soul & with all your mind. This is the first & greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law & the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:36-40) (Emphasis added.)

You see, so many of us get stressed out & wiped out simply by trying to be enough in everything, all the time.

We fail. We fall. And we despair.

We try harder. We try to be better. We fall again.

Some grow numb to serving God simply to protect themselves. While others tirelessly keep working in an effort to ever improve in this cycle.

But God is Enough. Not us. We aren’t meant to be enough. Because He IS.

“Grace & peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God & of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life & godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory & virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great & precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.” (2 Peter 1:2-4) (Emphasis added.)

God is enough. His power is able.

Don’t rush around trying to be the “enough” that you need so desperately. Rest in HIS.

He Redeems

And last, but certainly not least, He promises us the greatest promise of all….

…”if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord & believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes & is justified, & with the mouth one confesses & is saved.” (Romans 10:9) (Emphasis added.)

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) (Emphasis added.)

The best Christmas gift you can ever receive is Jesus Christ.

He fills you. He fulfills you. He comforts you. He heals you. He gives you peace & rest. He provides strength. He gives His power to do every good work. He is your ENOUGH. He loves you with everlasting, abiding, unwavering, tenacious love. He never gives up on you. He forgives. He renews. He loves. He is faithful. His promises are Truth.

So, bow your heart, Beautiful One & let Him in.

Merry Christmas!!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next week on Monday morning EST for more encouragement. Love you, Lady!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Petal Necklace (& Petal Stud Earrings)

This cubic zirconia floral pendant hangs from an antique golden chain & pairs perfectly with the Petal Stud Earrings.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!