We Need to Talk…

Can we talk about health & body image for a second today?

If you know me, you know I am overweight…. But my weight doesn’t define me.

A Little Pudge… Words Matter

You see, little me had a little pudge—I wasn’t fat, but I wasn’t skinny. In hindsight, I looked like a normal little kid—but I felt UGLY.

I was always told by others that I would be liked more if I lost weight… that boys would like me better & that I would make more friends.

I know now that those words were meant to encourage me to be healthy & that a healthy person usually is just more confident, stronger, & more energetic, which usually attracts people. CONFIDENCE attracts people.

But I took it a different way then. I took it to mean that I wasn’t worth too much without a smaller number on the scale… without a smaller clothing size.

I Used to Pray to be Skinny

I am still wading through & dividing the line between well-meaning persuasion of others & the insecurities that I am just not enough.

I used to pray SO MUCH that God would just make me skinny. I used to pray that I could lose all desire for food & maybe that He would make it all taste gross to me.

(I am so glad He DIDN’T answer okay to making food taste bad! Thank You, GOD!)

My Weight Shame

I used to cry a lot, feeling like such a loser, someone who deserved to be picked on & verbally bullied at school. I DESERVED it because I wasn’t skinny, so I therefore wasn’t pretty enough to be treated well anyway. (My perception then.)

I used to avoid looking in the mirror EVER & used to pray that God would help me not HATE the way I look when I see myself in a mirror anymore.

I used to wear t-shirts when I showered because I was too ashamed to see how “gross” I looked. I was a pre-teen then.

One failure seemed to unravel any progress or good habits I had formed because if I failed it once, I “would probably never succeed anyway.”

I had a LOT of lies tear me up over the years.

Maybe if I Flirt?

I even let boys, friends even, assault me because I thought maybe it was a good sign that they wanted me at all “in my condition of fatness”. And I felt proud of it, until I felt like garbage afterwards, like a used up & worthless rag, to be used & tossed away.

I flirted & dressed inappropriately thinking that if I was too fat to be liked or wanted, I would flirt my way into their hearts. Sex appeal.

But that left me dead inside, like the “ME” hidden behind all those charades was just stuffed away, unimportant, & forgotten. Like I didn’t really matter anyway.

It’s been a long, tough road & one that God has grown me through in MANY ways. (See my Pivotal Post to see what happened with my harmful flirting-for-attention mindset.)

Changing the Script

I thought finding a guy who loves me & then marrying him would solve all of my problems, but I have been married 8 years to a man who dotes on me & gushes over my “gorgeousness” & I STILL struggle believing that he means it sometimes.

Because I am overweight.

I’m not skinny.

I always thought that Healthy => Skinny => Beautiful => Valuable/Lovable.

But that script needs to end.

I Know I’m Not Alone

I know I am not the only one who has had a similar view of themselves.

I see the shameless flirting, crying out to be wanted, needed, & loved.

I see the tugging of the shirts to cover the rolls & never being without a cardigan or hoodie to hide them.

I see the “Sorry for no makeup today” posts, as if they aren’t GORGEOUS JUST THE WAY GOD MADE THEM.

I see the diet posts.

I see the desperation to fit in & look good.

And that motivation needs to stop. (I am speaking to myself here, too.)

Fat Tissue Is Just Fat Tissue

We need to learn to love ourselves. Not in a vain: “Aren’t I the most amazing person in the world? Well, you’re dumb if you disagree!”

No, but we need to realize that our VALUE in NOT wrapped up in how many POUNDS of fat tissue we have on our bodies!!

Fat is JUST FAT.

Watch Out for the Pendulum Swing!

Now, let’s not allow that pendulum swing go the opposite way of saying, “Who cares if I am unhealthy because I am valuable as is!”

We should strive to be good stewards of the bodies God has gifted us with. We need to care about our HEALTH.

But we need to care about our HEALTH & NOT our FAT/LOOKS.

We need to learn to see Healthy = Energy, strength, alertness, less sluggishness, & more adventure!

Your BODY Loves HEALTHY

Being healthy does NOT make you more or less VALUABLE. It just makes you HEALTHY.

Your body will LOVE your efforts to eat clean, eat healthy portions, avoid junk food, get sunshine, MOVE, etc. Your body will appreciate those efforts & will thank you for it!

But EVEN IF you never get healthy, YOU ARE STILL GORGEOUS & LOVABLE & VALUABLE.

God Sees YOU First… Not the Number on Your Scale

God doesn’t see you as “less than” if you can’t lose the weight & anyone who doesn’t want to be friends with you just because you have a problem maintaining your health really is not worth pursuing friendship with.

So, hear me on this… LOVE you. Realize GOD LOVES YOU.

You are lovable. You are YOU no matter how many pounds weigh on you.

Be healthy to be healthy & ONLY for that reason. Take care of the body God has given you so that you can get more out of life with energy & strength. Take care of it to keep your body healthy from preventable health risks.

But, give yourself a hug & learn to look at yourself in the mirror every day & say, “GIRL, you’re gorgeous!” And ask God for help if you struggle with that, because He CERTAINLY helped me.

I Am BEAUTIFUL… And So Are YOU

I can now appreciate my smile & my blue eyes & just appreciate God’s design of my face & body in general.

I like my calves & I think my feet are cute. And, as my husband tells me, I like my body proportions that God has given me that will widen or narrow depending on my weight, but are still beautiful regardless of where the number on the scale leans.

I am BEAUTIFUL.

Am I healthy? –Not nearly as I should be, but I am a BEAUTIFUL Work-in-Progress.

A Toast to Loving Your Body As Is AND Striving for Good Health

So, here’s to new ways of thinking about our bodies. Here is to appreciating the features God created. Here is to learning that Healthy does NOT equal Beauty/Worth… Healthy = Energetic, Strong, Alert, HEALTHY.

Shine HOPE by praising God’s design of YOU & others, WHILE working to make your body happy by treating it well.

Not Just a Lean/Strong Body, But a Healed Heart

You see, if the struggle with your body image is not simply a concern for your HEALTH, but rather how WORTHY or valuable you feel… Health is not your only battle… your heart needs healing, too.

If you’re not seeking God’s help healing those inner wounds of the heart, it won’t matter if you lose every ounce of extra body fat. Maintaining your weight will become its own prison for you… It will create NEW problems for you: “What happens if I can’t keep it off? Do people only accept me because of my new body weight? Do they care about ME or my looks???”

Don’t let your motivations to get fit, lose weight, eat healthy… be to feel Pretty, Lovable, Desirable, Valuable…. Do it to make your body Strong, Energized, Alert, & less susceptible to be at risk for health problems later on or even now.

And ALWAYS ask God for help healing your heart & helping you to love yourself NOW & to help guide you to take better care of the body He has gifted you with.

Because YOU’RE WORTH IT… JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, Beautiful!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Can Reading the Whole Bible Really Benefit Me That Much?

So, we have been talking about doubts lately, but today I am going to take a quick detour down one specific doubt I had about whether or not I could ever be “good at” reading my Bible.

I grew up hearing about our need to “be in God’s Word” (the Bible) & to pray, but every time I tried to read my Bible, I felt bored or I just felt like it was outdated & unimportant to my life.

I Thought I Knew Better Than God…

I began to doubt God’s wisdom in Joshua 1:8 & Psalm 1:1-3, for example, to be meditating on His Word “day & night” because it just didn’t seem relevant to me, except for some key verses or concepts that spoke into specific things I was dealing with… but that was about it for me—a sort of grab “what you need” & leave the rest.

I wasn’t trying to be lazy or rebellious, I just was bored & it didn’t feel like it mattered all that much, except to make sure I wasn’t going against God’s will with specific sins or in knowing how to face certain trials, but otherwise I felt I was okay without it.

Basically, I thought I knew better than God. Ouch.

Even the Boring Parts?

Now, I want to confess here that I did have days that it definitely was about rebellion, & I struggle that way some days even now (although a lot less often), but most days I just didn’t feel like doing it because I didn’t get it.

I mean, all the genealogies & old laws & tabernacle design & all of the other boring in-betweens… who cares, right?

But yet, it always nagged me in the back of my mind that I was just finding any excuses I needed to back out of doing something that I knew God asked of me because it was less interesting & captivating than other ways I could be spending my time.

But, So Many Obstacles Always Get in My Way!

But still, even when I would admit that to myself & recommit to it, I would inevitably reach one of countless obstacles that just seemed too much for me to overcome: a headache, a cold, exhaustion, distractions, forgetfulness, busy schedule, losing track of time, impromptu plans, etc. I never could seem to get past the countless stream of obstacles that seemed to meet me at my already lack of desire to do it… so I would give up my commitment again & again because failing each time got old.

It seemed impossible, really.

I wasn’t trying to be rebellious, but life kept happening & Bible reading just didn’t fit.

Defeat Led to Defeat, Which Led to Giving Up

I felt defeated so many times. I would try to recommit out of guilt, or maybe a hint of a desire to see whether it really was as fulfilling as some people told me it was, but an obstacle would hit & I would be done. Again.

So, I read my Bible regularly now… & I actually enjoy it... & I don’t let anything stop me (although there’s always room for grace)… so HOW did I do it?

Here’s the backstory:

I didn’t wake up one day & decide to be great at consistent time reading my Bible (well, I did, but deciding & doing are different things, can anyone relate??) & then also running a blog with a Facebook Community.

I wasn’t always good at reading my Bible (I hardly ever read it beyond quick quotes that seemed to encourage me) & maybe you aren’t good at it either & maybe you see me & think to yourself, “Well, this is just something that she’s better at than me because I have tried it & I am AWFUL at keeping at it!”

So here is my timeline, my backstory (summarized) in hopes of helping you see the potential for a richer, fuller life & a better understanding of who God is & HOW MUCH He LOVES you!

Meeting Christ Young, Intermittent Reading, & Then, the ANSWER That Changed Everything

5 Years Old—Trusted Jesus to rescue me from my sin

Childhood–Read my Children’s Bible sometimes, but not regularly

Middle School—Began doubting God & my salvation & God’s Word & everything (it was a choppy time in my life because of this!)

High School—Went through depression & started asking God to show me I could count on Him when I couldn’t count on anything else (HE DID!)

Young Adulthood—Read books ABOUT God & attended Bible Studies, but didn’t really know how to separate opinion from Truth, or which books I could rely on to know… I tried to commit to Bible reading many times but always gave up.

Several Years Ago–Still had never read my whole Bible, (had begun but kept forgetting or rebelling & stopped many times), usually only bits & pieces here & there in quotable verses or in studies/sermons I attended….

BUT, I then read “Andrew Murray on Prayer” & my eyes were opened to the fact that in all my FAILURES to stay consistent & all my LACK OF UNDERSTANDING of what I was reading… dun dun dun… I could ask for God’s help in ALL OF IT!!

Wow! Total game changer because up until then, I had always beat myself up that I just wasn’t a strong enough Christian to do it & that “maybe someday…” but now I understood that I didn’t have to rely on MY willpower to overcome my constant obstacles because I could ASK GOD FOR HELP every step!

3 Years Ago—I determined to ASK GOD FOR HELP whenever I went to read….

• I asked for His help to understand.
• I asked for His help to concentrate.
• I asked for His help with clarity when I felt foggy or tired.
• I asked for His help to even WANT to read it MANY times when I felt stubborn, with an “I really don’t care right now” attitude.
• I asked for His help to overcome my bad attitude of “I don’t feel like its.”
• I asked for His help on the WHEN.
• I began asking for His help with ANYTHING that threatened to keep me from reading–especially MYSELF.

And I wouldn’t pray & move on… NO, I determined that if ANYONE could help me accomplish this, it was HIM, so I would pray & sit & wait, determined to do nothing else until He answered by changing my attitude, softening my heart to be willing, & cleared my mind of distractions to focus on it.

AND HE SHOWED UP EVERY TIME.

TWO Years Ago—Finished reading THE WHOLE BIBLE for the FIRST time, within ONE YEAR

ONE Year Ago–I did it AGAIN

THIS YEAR–I no longer need the strict rules to read 2-4 chapters a day to maintain consistency because I actually ENJOY it & LOOK FORWARD TO it!! I am working through slowing down my reading & digging DEEPER–underlining, looking up original Greek/Hebrew, writing notes, ETC. with guidance from KATIE ORR (Look her up!)

You Can Be a “Bible Girl”, Too

So, if you are discouraged, don’t let Satan keep you stuck there... Understand that if YOU can’t get yourself out of that, GOD CAN. So, ASK Him!! And KEEP ASKING Him!

He will show up for YOU, too!! <3

When I first started trying to read my Bible years ago, it always felt boring & hard to understand or to see how/why it really mattered—it seemed outdated & out of touch with NOW.

But when I started asking God to help me even WANT to, as well as to help me actually carry through with reading it, knowing He asks us to meditate on His Word as I mentioned earlier (hard to do when I wasn’t reading it much at all), it is so weird… Every time I read the Bible through, it having started out as so boring to me, you would think reading it multiple times would just be overwhelmingly boring… but the opposite ended up being true… honestly. The more I read it, the more I WANT to read it. Isn’t that weird?

Despite My Many Lackings

I know it sounds like, “well of course it’s easy for you, you’re one to do a blog & Facebook community & etc., but I’m different.” But, girl, don’t let Satan fool you away from the nourishment you will get when you stop letting your obstacles rule your life & you start asking for God to be your help in getting over them.

I wasn’t always good at it. I didn’t always have the courage to stand up for Him & shout His love to the masses, through my blog. But reading His Word emboldens me because I am learning to rely LESS on myself & what I know I’m not capable of & MORE of what I am learning He is FULLY capable of despite my lacking.

The More I Read, The More I WANT to Read

My love of the Bible wasn’t immediate. I had to pray SO MANY times just to get myself through it… BUT, this is me several years in the future telling you it’s SO worth it!

I understand a new layer every read. I understand more of how much God’s got this, all of this, in control. I understand more how AWFUL & wretched sin is (in ME) & also how much more my view of His GRACIOUSNESS grows. I understand more that no matter what I do or did or will do to mess up, in all my efforts & good intentions, God can’t love me any less. His love is unconditional… that means NO conditions have to be met for Him to love me (& you).

It’s All About HIM

And just reading it daily sets my perspective straight that it’s not about me being perfect or “good enough” but about worshipping Him by trusting His will & His daily guidance, strength, wisdom, hope, comfort, etc. And not just with an “I know He can do it,” but with an, ” I KNOW He’s got me.”

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

So, get to know His will & start asking for HIS HELP.

Start Now

So, will you start the journey? Or restart the journey?

And this time, don’t let Satan beat you down. Stop in the midst of your countless, “I can’ts” & ask God to give you the win.

“God, I feel stubborn. I feel like I don’t want to know rules or whatever. I don’t even know why, I just feel like I don’t care. But HELP me to care. Help me to see the value in it. Help me to DO it. I want to learn more about your love for me but I feel so stubborn. Help me!”

“God, I [feel tired, have a headache, feel too busy, feel too distracted, etc.] that I don’t think I can read it, but I know you ask us to, so it must be important. Help me to see that & right my perspective. Help me trust You over my own understanding because I KNOW You know best. You are God & I am not & I need You. Help me to overcome!”

The above prayers have been prayed countless times by me (not the exact words, but the same sentiment). Talk to Him. Be real & honest, even if it’s admitting you don’t want to. Just talk to Him & trust Him. Ask for a new perspective. Ask for help overcoming your lack of desire or your countless distractions.

What seems impossible to man is always possible with God, so ASK HIM. (Luke 18:27)

Shine Hope by going to Him for help in ALL things.

He LOVES you.

It makes me crave it, to dwell in it, to cherish it!

So, if you struggle reading your Bible, ask for God’s help & don’t STOP. It only gets better from here!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Lotus Earrings

Hand cut maroon suede makes these flower petal-inspired earrings a perfect statement.

Artisan Information:

In India, many women are forced to work in sweatshops with unfair pay & dangerous conditions. But with every purchase, the women who make this product are now working in a safe environment, being paid a fair wage & seeing their lives change for the better! They also have access to education & financial counseling. You are empowering women to have freedom to dream again!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

We All Have ‘Em & God Can Handle Them

Last week, we talked about “How to Handle Doubts & Still Honor God,” but this week, I want to talk about specific common doubts I have wrestled.

We all have doubts, & as was mentioned last week, doubts are one of Satan’s oldest tricks to push us further from hope & truth by making us withdraw from God.

But as we also mentioned last week, God already knows about our doubts because He knows all things hidden & revealed. He can handle your doubts & He understands that we are limited, created, & finite, while He is Limitless, Creator, & Eternal.

There will just be things we don’t understand sometimes & He knows that.

Remember, God Will Help Us Work Through Them

And when we turn to Him in those doubts, instead of pulling away from Him, He is able to help us work through them, either by giving us an “aha!” moment of clarity, revealing how it all fits together with your specific doubt, OR, He will reveal more of Himself to you—His love, His patience, His gentleness, His wisdom, His strength, His power, etc. to reassure you that while you may not be able to understand how to work through that doubt, you can definitely rest assured that trust in Him is sure & steady & always worth it.

So, now that we’ve reviewed, let’s take some time to focus in on some specific & common doubts, always remembering that God always knows best.

1. “How Do I Know Which Religion Is the RIGHT One?”

This is one that plagued me for years growing up, claiming I was a Christian, but not really sure if I was right or whether we were ALL right in some way? I really didn’t know.

But it can’t be one of many, because Jesus claims that He is THE way, THE truth, & THE life & that no one comes to God except through Him. (John 14:6)

That may sound like a stuck up, arrogant, self-absorbed claim to make, but here’s why it’s THE BEST news you will ever hear.

All other religions leave it up to you to be “enough”, the ambiguous, always shifting, unsteady push to be better & earn it in one way or another.

The “Good News”-Jesus Paid Our Debt IN FULL

But JESUS lets us know that even if just counting our inner thoughts, not to mention all the wrongs we have done, we CAN’T earn it… But that HE earned it FOR us.

I really believe that Jesus came later in history to die for us in order to reveal to us that no matter how much we reject & hate Him, no matter how wrong our wrongs are, no matter how much we could never earn it by balancing the scales ENOUGH in our favor… NO MATTER WHAT, Jesus STILL was faithful & STILL chose to die on our behalf.

That’s some GOOD NEWS if I ever heard any!!!

We strive to do good, not to earn His favor or balance any scales because our debt it PAID IN FULL. We do it out of a grateful heart that realizes that because His love is SO GREAT for US, He is worth giving our all to!

2. “What If God Isn’t Even Real? I Can’t See/Feel/Hear Him.”

The quickest & simplest way to dispel this doubt is to consider the wind. We can’t see it, but we can see its work as it blows a leaf across the ground, rustles the grass, & even knocks down big structures. It is gentle & soft sometimes & overwhelmingly powerful at other times.

If you remember our Matthew 5 (Part 2) talk, we mentioned how the “Pure in Heart” are blessed because they “will see God” (Matthew 5:8). As we strive to live with an undivided heart, in seeking to filter everything we do or think through God’s will & way, we begin to see Him more clearly in day to day life.

Talk to Him in All Things-Prayer

The more we talk to God & share our fears, worries, anxieties, anger, pain, scars, excitement, goals, plans, thoughts, etc., the more we begin to see Him interact in very intimately specific ways to our thoughts shared with Him. It’s pretty amazing!

If you never spend any time reading His Word (the Bible) consistently or talking to Him (prayer) consistently, don’t expect to recognize His fingerprints everywhere. The opposite is true.

Also, just look at the complexity of our mind & body… & babies forming in the womb, the sky’s clouds/sunsets, the ocean, the variety of flowers, the variety of tastes, smells, textures, temperatures, etc. This world was made (by God’s hand) with both specific order AND vast complexities/varieties. HOW COOL!

3. “I’ve Done Too Much Bad Stuff in My Life. If God Knew/Knows, He Would Never Forgive Me.”

OUCH. This one hurts, doesn’t it? I have BEEN there.

People like to look at me now & think, “such innocence, such grace, such sweetness of the soul…” (No? Okay, so maybe that’s just my wishful thinking, haha.) but God sees it ALL. He sees every decision I have knowingly made to reject Him & do things my way. He sees every excuse I made to back out of obedience. He knows when I have had a terrible attitude & was only looking out for numero uno (ME).

He also sees my list of past sins & ones that sometimes pop up & snag me for a brief time when I am not diligent in seeking God first, before I started trying to turn my life over to Him in meekness/letting Him take the reins of my time & life.

I’m not fooling Him in any way. And neither are you, if you’re trying. He sees you. He sees ALL of you.

And yet…

And YET, review doubt #1 above.

“I really believe that Jesus came later in history to die for us in order to reveal to us that no matter how much we reject & hate Him, no matter how wrong our wrongs are, no matter how much we could never earn it by balancing the scales ENOUGH in our favor… NO MATTER WHAT, Jesus STILL was faithful & STILL chose to die on our behalf.”

He sees it all. He knows it all. AND YET, He still forgives it all & He still came to die for us, that if we admit our wrongs, ask forgiveness for them, & turn from them, claiming Jesus as our SAVIOR & REDEEMER & LORD of our life, He is faithful & just to forgive us (ALL) of our sins! (1 John 1:9)

Don’t let Satan’s lie of “you’re just too far gone,” keep you from realizing the freedom & hope & security & JOY of Jesus’ grace meant for you!

4. “Why Pray? Can He Even Hear Me? If He’s GOD, Doesn’t He Know Already & Won’t He Just Do What He Wants Anyway?”

That’s a whole lot of doubts rolled into one (which I may delve deeper into each specifically later). But….

Yes, He can hear you just fine. And yes, He hears you even when you talk to Him in your mind. He hears you every moment.

Prayer is still something I wrestle with understanding fully because it seems so beyond imagination that the God who created EVERYTHING can hear me AND every other person at all times & that He condescends Himself to work through our prayers.

AND, while He can hear all of it all at once, & while He has a perfect will & plan, He can ALSO work our prayers INTO His plan.

Always Check What God Says About a Topic

If we check out 1 John 5:14-15 we are told, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.”

This doesn’t mean we can ask for an ice cream cone & one will appear in our hand. He isn’t our personal genie.

This also doesn’t mean He will always answer the way we think or hope or want. Because He knows better.

For instance, if we pray for true love, meaning particularly the man we have our eyes on, God may see how that man’s path or future does not line up with you as well as you think it does, & so He starts shaping the path toward someone else & ENDING this one, making you feel ignored & hurt & betrayed, when really, God is answering what you want, in His perfect fore-knowledge & wisdom, without you seeing it.

God Is Always Working

Sometimes, God will use the words of someone else, a book, a sermon, a tv show, etc. to speak right into what you’re asking Him about. (I don’t mean, “she said YES, so God is telling ME yes!!” but more of a lesson learned or teaching moment.)

He also knows that oftentimes, what we really need is not to have our way, but to trust HIM more with whatever it is. Like yearning for marriage/dating, when we really could stand to see how fulfilling God is to us when we really put effort into seeking Him—a steady love we can stand on versus an uncertain romance that could leave us hurting worse than before.

He Will Help Us As We Turn to Him for It

God never lets us down. (By the way, I feel the need to point out here that while Jamie & I are imperfectly learning together, I am certainly glad I waited for Him because our imperfections work well with each other’s strengths—but I cannot lean on him in all things & he can’t with me because we are JUST HUMAN… we have our limitations, while God DOES NOT.)

I could go on for a LONG time about all the different things I have learned about prayer—most of all that even in learning to or WANTING to trust Him, we CAN ASK for His help & He WILL HELP us.

(Check out the Categories listed on this site (at the bottom or to the right in a drop-down menu) & go to “Prayer” to read more!)

More Next Week…

I feel like this is a good stopping point, even though there are SO MANY more doubts out there, but I will possibly do Part 2 on Doubts next week, so stay tuned!

Shine HOPE by turning to God through ALL of your doubts & letting Him help you work through them!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Iris Earrings

Iridescent pink crystal beads sway on these golden teardrop hoops.

Artisan Information:

In Peru, rural citizens have been affected by extreme poverty & guerrilla warfare. Women are affected the worst as their husbands generally leave them in search of work. Many are unable to get the basic needs of food, shelter, & clothing. But with every purchase of this product, women are finding hope & an income by hand making this beautiful product. Because of you, these family businesses are now empowering the next generation!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Peru!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Grand Finale

So, here we are on Week 3 of our Matthew 5 “ladder” of a life given to, lived for (& through), & hoped in God!

It’s exciting to see the growth we can experience as we surrender more of ourselves to the hope & security & strength & peace & wisdom of God, isn’t it!? So much better than going it alone & in your own strength, wisdom, & willpower.

This week covers the last few rungs of this ladder, but first, a quick recap.

(To catch up on the first 6 rungs of this ladder of a life lived for God, make sure to read Part 1 & Part 2 by clicking their respective links.)

We started off by reading Matthew 5:1-12, which you can click here to read on Biblegateway.com before we get started.

So, here is what we have covered so far:

1. “Blessed are the poor in spirit…”

This one refers to a personal awareness of our own sin (doing it our way & disregarding or rebelling against God’s way), our own depravity (inability to even the scales & save ourselves), & our need for Someone outside of ourselves to make us right again before God (AKA Jesus Christ—read more about this on my Hope Is Found tab on this site.)

We are blessed in this realization, as Matthew 5 tells us, because we can then be made right before God & ours is the kingdom of heaven. Pretty great, right?!

2. “Blessed are those who mourn…”

Once we realize how truly wrong we really are in God’s eyes (the only ones that actually matter in light of our eternal punishment or peace), despite our lifelong efforts to prove how good we are, but always coming up short… it is only natural to mourn… to feel the weight of our wrongs & our sin & how much we have disappointed God & rebelled against Him.

But, again, He promises us blessedness because He won’t leave us in our grief & mourning, but instead He promises that we shall be comforted. We have been saved (through Jesus) by a compassionate & loving God who cares for us!

3. “Blessed are the meek…”

Once we realize just how Good God is for rescuing us when we least deserve it & once He has comforted our grief over our wrongs, we step up onto rung 3 of our ladder in putting our strength & power under His control, letting Him take the reins of our lives.

We are promised blessedness in this again, because when we are letting God make the calls in our life, we find so much more richness in life as we inherit the earth.

4. “Blessed are those who hunger & thirst for righteousness…”

And now that we have a taste for this “richness in life” from giving God control of our lives more & more, we begin to naturally crave more. We begin to hunger & seek after living God’s way, as written in His Word—the Bible.

And God promises blessedness in that when we hunger & thirst for more of living His way, we will be filled.

5. “Blessed are the merciful…”

As we begin to strive after living God’s way, we see His heart for people, including us. We begin to have a heart of mercy & forgiveness for others, whether they deserve it or not (if they did deserve it, it wouldn’t be considered mercy).

We see how He has treated our sin by meeting it with grace & mercy & love & comfort… & we begin to desire to love the people He loves (*everyone) in that same way. And when we do, He promises blessedness in being shown mercy ourselves.

6. “Blessed are the pure in heart…”

As I mentioned last week, this pure in heart is intending to portray an UNDIVIDED heart. In other words, we are seeing more & more the blessings come from a life seeking to be lived God’s way that we no longer are as interested in what everything else has to offer.

We begin to filter everything through a focus of giving God the honor He so rightly deserves & making sure the world knows just how magnificent & gracious & powerful & loving He really is! Everything begins to be filtered through this focus in how we love our family & friends, spouse, children, strangers, & even our enemies. He is the true focus in how we live in all areas of our lives—the way it was always meant to be!

And guess what, God promises that we will “see God”. We will begin to hear His truth from the Bible wash across our minds in distress. We begin to hear His wisdom answer our calls for help. We begin to see His hands working all around us, His majesty & power & love coming into a fuller, brighter picture in everyday life! How amazing to strive for a life lived this way!

And now we step up to the 7^th rung of our ladder, as we near the top:

7. “Blessed are the Peacemakers…”

As I mentioned above in #6, “Everything [in life] begins to be filtered through this focus [on all God is & all He has done for us & all He rightly deserves from how we honor Him] in how we love our family & friends, spouse, children, strangers, & even our enemies.”

We are learning to see who God really is, not who people claimed He was or who we misunderstood Him to be, but who He REALLY is—gracious, kind, loving, patient, sacrificial, merciful, gentle, all-wise, all-powerful, Creator, Redeemer, Lover of all mankind… & we want the world to know Him the way we are starting to see Him.

We want to help shine the light of HOPE, pointing others to this same HOPE we have found in Jesus Christ!

It’s no longer a “take it or leave it, I don’t care,” but becomes a desperate cry of our hearts to see people find this same freedom & hope & peace & strength & wisdom & power & LOVE that we have found in Jesus!

We become the Peacemakers, seeking to share Jesus with others, so that they can find this same HOPE.

God says we will be blessed in this heart cry because we will be called children of God.

We are His. No one can change that or take that away. He holds us fast & strong for all eternity. We are sealed. We are set. We are FORGIVEN. And we want that for everyone else, too!

8. “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake…”

Our flesh, our natural selves loves itself. It loves sin because it is attractive & instantly gratifying, a perverted (distorted) version of the richness of life we crave in Heaven, watered down into a sick reflection of the truth, twisted into a lie.

And people will hate us for standing against their addiction to temporary & fleeting pleasure… they won’t understand & they will hate us for it sometimes.

But yet, we know the Truth. We know its true value. We know the peace & love & grace & freedom & power wrapped up in it & given to us by the sacrificial love & blood of Jesus Christ. We know how much they all matter to HIM.

So Worth It!

And so we continue this honorable fight against that deadly grasp of sin, seeking with all our heart to honor God & give Him glory in how we love those people who reject Him but who mean SO MUCH to Him. We are peacemakers with a purpose to see the lost found, to show them hope that won’t disappoint or hurt or abandon them, but will comfort & heal & fulfill them.

And we hold on to this hope, knowing how much it matters, despite their mockery, slander, rejection, & hurt, because we know Him & we know how much they matter to Him.

And here it comes full circle, in saying that just as we realized our need for Jesus Christ & we reached out to Him as our Savior & thus we find eternal life & eternal hope by joining the Kingdom of Heaven, we are reminded once again that no matter what comes of the persecution against us & no matter how much it may hurt on any given day… Ours is the Kingdom of Heaven.

An Encouraging Arrival to the Top of the Ladder of a Life Lived for God!

This is but our temporary home—a mere shadow of the extravagant love & peace & joy that is to come where we are headed—when we go to heaven– (If we have accepted Jesus as our Savior!)

And it is repeated again at the end of Matthew 5 with more detail on how they will persecute us, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, & falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.” (Matthew 5:11)

And He (all of Matthew 5 is actually quoted from Jesus speaking) tells us just a bit more than “just” the blessedness of our part in the Kingdom in Heaven, in verse 12. “Rejoice & be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.” (Emphasis mine.)

An Eternal Hope

Life isn’t promised to be easy, ever.

But this journey is just our temporary home. We have eternal hope to look forward to.

So, come what may, we can rest in knowing to Whom we belong & to where we are going.

Keep seeking to know & love God MORE (or even at all if you need to start there). Ask for His help. It won’t happen all overnight, but it will continue to grow the more you entrust your growth to Him.

Always Trust He Is Waiting to Help You All Along the Way!

If you want it, but struggle—ask for His help.

If you want it, but feel trapped by the sparkly sin that snares you—ask for His help.

If you want it, but you’re too afraid you’re not worth it to Him—ask for His help (because He died for you!!)

If you hurt—ask for His help.

If you just don’t know how to do it—ask for His help.

If you keep failing—ask for His help (& keep failing forward).

If you feel too weak—ask for His help.

In ALL things that threaten to hold onto your ankles as you crave to climb this ladder—ASK FOR HIS HELP!!!!!

Push Out the Lies & Cling to the Truth

Don’t let Satan lie to you that a struggle means God will give up on you—He won’t!

Don’t let Satan lie to you that your past is just beyond forgiveness—because it isn’t!

Trust GOD & CLING to Him EVERY step of the way! He’s got you, babe.

Shine Hope by seeking to live a life that is ever-climbing this ladder in Matthew 5 of a life given to, lived for (& through), & hoped in GOD.

It is worth it 100%.

Coming Next Week

I hope you enjoyed these last 3 weeks as much as I did! They were such an encouragement of the hope found in diligently seeking to climb this ladder in life, why it’s SO worth it, & remembering to ask for His help every step of it!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Lotus Earrings

Hand cut suede makes these maroon flower petal-inspired earrings a perfect statement.

Artisan Information:

In India, many women are forced to work in sweatshops with unfair pay & dangerous conditions. But with every purchase, the women who make this product are now working in a safe environment, being paid a fair wage & seeing their lives change for the better! They also have access to education & financial counseling. You are empowering women to have freedom to dream again!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Quick Reminders

So, last week we talked through some thoughts from the beginning of Matthew 5.

I never really understood this passage of “Blessed are…. For the shall…” verses, but in my recent study, I learned to see them as a sort of ladder for a life given to, lived for, & hoped rested in God.

I also wanted to remind us to see these not as, “It’s a good thing if you…. For you will be blessed,” but rather, “When you…, you will be blessed.”

PART 1 Recap–Matthew 5

(All emphasis/brackets are mine in verses.)

We already talked about the first three rungs of this ladder last week, in Part 1, but let’s do a quick review.

1. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.” (Matthew 5:3)

This one, as we discussed last week, refers to a recognition of our own depravity (our own sin & a realization that our “good” deeds cannot save us—that we need a Savior outside of ourselves—Jesus Christ).

We are blessed in this recognition because we are opened to receive God’s free gift of grace & reconciliation to God through Jesus Christ, allowing us to join the kingdom of God!

2. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

When we realize how wretched & helpless to save ourselves that we really are, it is natural to mourn & to feel grief over how we have mistreated God.

But God doesn’t leave us in that grief-stricken state. He offers us His comfort!

3. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5)

As we discussed last week, meek means strength/power under control versus timid/pushover. The implications being that instead of self-solving, self-soothing, & self-shielding… we learn to hand over the reins of how our life is lived to God. We give Him control instead of claiming it ourselves.

I also want to remind us that this is a lifelong process of learning to give more & more of ourselves to Him. Give yourself grace, fail forward, & ask for His help in doing it every step of the way!

(To catch more on each of the above three rungs of the ladder, read PART 1/3, here.)

And now that we’re all caught up, we move onto the next few rungs of this ladder:

4. Blessed Are Those Who Hunger & Thirst for Righteousness

“Blessed are those who hunger & thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.” (Matthew 5:6)

Once we realize our own depravity & need for Jesus Christ, mourn over our sin & wretchedness (& are comforted), & then submit the reins of our life to doing it God’s way… we begin to hunger & thirst for righteousness.

Basically, we get a taste for the goodness in God’s way of life & we want more.

We want to learn more about what pleases Him & honors Him & how He designed it to be. We want to cling to His way!

It doesn’t mean we’ll get it right all the time or even that we will always have the right attitude (I have to pray & ask God for help with a willingness to seek Him sometimes on days when rebelliousness is luring me every other way).

But it does mean that we hunger for it. We thirst for it. We want more of it in our lives!

We recognize that our way led to pain & dissatisfaction & emptiness & we want to be filled with Him in all areas of our lives, to feel complete, loved, filled, purposeful, secure, steady, & healed! Those are the things that come naturally in living a life lived for Him—even in the struggles!

And God promises that we will be blessed because we will be filled!

5. Blessed Are the Merciful

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” (Matthew 5:7)

Once we have seen God’s mercy & tasted the freedom, the healing, the filled joy that comes in it… naturally, we begin to see others in need of that same mercy & grace that we didn’t deserve either.

(NOTE: This one can be difficult for us (including me) when someone intentionally hurts us. It is definitely an area we should ask God for help with when we want to hold a grudge or a hurt. Trust Him with healing & a right perspective.)

So, being merciful means basically having a forgiving heart. It means recognizing that the other person is equally loved by the same God who loves us SO MUCH.

Be quick to forgive.

Because, when we are merciful to others, God says we will be blessed in also receiving mercy. So, let’s strive to live that way toward each other, shall we?

6. Blessed Are the Pure in Heart

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8)

Have you ever wondered how people seem to hear from God when they pray? Well, hopefully talking about this verse will shed some light into that.

When I looked up “pure in heart”, the definition that stood out to me was “undivided.” Basically implying that the more you turn the reins of your life over to God & the more that you crave to learn & live God’s way & the more you seek to extend the same mercy to others that you were given by God… the more your heart will become undivided in its focus to live completely for Him in all things & to look to & turn to Him through every situation or struggle or trial or pain.

He becomes our main focus in life—the way it was always intended to be, like walking together with Him in the Garden of Eden, except now with a broken-by-sin world (in which we need Him all the more).

Oh, how blessed this is… how irreplaceable… how indescribable!

An Undivided Heart Begins to See His Work & Love All Around Us!

You may be intimidated (as I was) over the wording of this “pure in heart” knowing how impure we are… & we may never perfect this in our lifetime, as we still battle with our flesh while on this earth—but as we seek to grow in being undivided, we begin to also recognize God’s voice.

Sometimes it’s a whisper across our heart when we are drenched in sadness, reminding us how loved we are & how capable He is to be our strength in the unrelenting storm.

Sometimes it’s an inner strength & courage (coming from outside ourselves aka the Holy Spirit) when we turn to Him in times of great fear or worry, knowing He can handle anything.

Sometimes it’s a whisper of a verse you memorized once, reminding you of God’s Truth in the midst of Satan’s guilt-saturated shame game that he tries to torment us with our past.

Seek Him in & for All Things

It’s an undivided focus that is grown out of a heart & mind & efforts devoted to God in how we seek Him through prayer & through reading/studying His Word, the Bible.

And when we live that way, we are blessed with seeing God work in the mess. We see His fingerprints in every situation, working it out for our good. We are comforted seeing Him at work all around us, even to the displayed splendor of His majesty in His ever-changing artwork of the sky. We SEE Him everywhere.

And we see Him in His love for those He loves—every person past, present, & future. Angelic facades & outward rebellion & everyone in between. He loves them all.

Shine HOPE

And, in preparation for next week’s grand finale of this life lived for God, that’s where we’ll leave it for this week!

Shine HOPE by realizing your need for Him, mourning your mistakes, being comforted by God, turning the reins of your life to Him, seeking to learn & live His way, being merciful to others as you have been shown mercy, & seek above all to have an undivided heart for God, through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice & the help of the Holy Spirit, through prayer & the study of God’s Word!!

 He’s got you, babe.

Coming Next Week

Next week is Part 3/3 of this topic! Woot!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty for families & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Tried Already…

I don’t know about you, but this has been a common theme in my life. If I can’t figure out how to accomplish something, I just avoid it.

Whether it be organizing something that I don’t quite understand how or whether it be a life situation, if I know I should do it, but don’t know how… I feel like I just can’t.

Anyone Else?

One good example of this is reading my Bible consistently.

Do you feel like that comes easy for you? Or do you struggle beyond reading a few verses here & there (if any)?

If you know my testimony, found HERE, you know I accepted Jesus’ grace when I was a child… & YET, I could never seem to be consistent reading my Bible beyond a few weeks or so of motivation.

Soo Many Reasons (AKA Obstacles)

It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it just seemed either boring, unrelatable, or that the many of life’s obstacles seemed to keep me from getting into it long-term.

Once I realized how much I could really gain from reading the Bible: eternal perspective, God’s Truths, hope, relatable stories of others failing or seeing how God came through for them, “boring & unrelatable” were no longer my opinion of Bible reading, & YET, it still seemed almost impossible to be consistent.

“I Promise I Love God, But…”

I often felt like I had to make excuses for it or defend how I loved God because it made me feel like either a bad Christian or a failure of one. I had tried COUNTLESS times to get into it & would always seem to be overwhelmed by an onslaught of obstacles that always got in the way.

I sort of kept that detail (of not reading my Bible regularly) on the downlow so no one would think poorly of me or doubt my salvation &/or love of God.

It was embarrassing & riddled me with guilt.

But I just could NOT seem to keep up with it.

SO MANY Obstacles!

Whenever I made effort, the obstacles seemed to overcome me instantly.

Either I would get sick, have a headache, forget, get distracted, be exhausted, feel stubborn/rebellious, or just flat out not do it.

Trying to read my Bible daily seemed like trying to run up a snowy/slick hill. I might make it up a bit, but then I would slide all the way back to the beginning.

It made me stop trying after a while, thinking I am just not good at it.

MAJOR Perspective Shift in Knowing God Can Help

But then I read Andrew Murray’s collection of writings on Prayer.

One thing he thoroughly emphasized is how the current church culture is training people to be burnt out, exhausted, & full of shame at not feeling like a good enough Christian.

The ingredient he stressed is missing from our training is the key to everything we’re missing in this equation: God’s help.

The Lie: If Christian, We Should Just Be Able to Do It on Our Own

I feel like oftentimes, it is sort of an understood lie that if we are Christian, therefore having God’s power to help us, that means we should automatically succeed at everything we try. Therefore, it is often thought that if we are NOT succeeding, we must not be believing hard enough or are maybe not a good enough Christian.

WRONG.

The Truth: We Need to Draw from Him in Order to Succeed

The truth is that if we are Christian, we have been forgiven & are allowed ACCESS to God’s power, but we must go to Him & draw from Him to receive it! And I don’t mean, read your Bible enough & prove your sincerity & then you can have it… NO. I mean ASK HIM FOR HELP.

We are allowed to ASK GOD FOR HELP in obeying Him & honoring Him with our lives!!

In fact, not only are we ALLOWED to ask Him for help, we SHOULD be asking for His help.

He Is the VINE… We Are Just Branches

He. Is. Our. VINE.

We are mere branches & without drawing FROM HIM, we are just a dead stick on the ground.

So, ask Him.

Ask Him to help you have courage. Ask Him to give you wisdom. Ask Him for help in setting aside time for Him. Ask Him for focus. Ask Him for clarity. Ask Him for the willpower to do it!

Not As an Excuse to Not Act

And I don’t mean, “God, please help me with this & until I feel helped to my liking, I just won’t do it. I’ll go do what I would rather do right now until you do all the work for me.”

NO.

I mean, “God, I am [stubborn & hard-hearted, lazy, distracted, or tired], please give me [clarity, willpower, strength, courage, peace, etc.] to do this & knowing this honors You, I know You will help me & that in my own strength, I will fail a million times. So, I will stay here & keep asking & act on the knowledge & faith that You are capable of & will help me to obey & follow You. I need You AS I DO IT. Amen.”

Be willing to ACT on FAITH that HE is your solution… that if there is ANY way for you to be consistent & faithful, God can accomplish filling in where you lack.

Leaning in Where I Lack… (AKA Everything)

Doing this… leaning into Him when I want to quit or just don’t feel like it physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever… is the ONLY way I am able to be consistent in reading my Bible EVERY DAY for THREE YEARS now.

Taking This Truth to Other Excuses/”Failures”

And now, my challenge rests in improving personal time with Him, talking with Him, sharing my burdens with Him, asking for His help with trauma of my past & my hurts in the midst of emotions, telling Him everything I am so grateful to Him for, & coming to Him to intercede on behalf of others I care about.

My new challenge is trusting Him to help me pray more frequently, deeply, & meaningfully.

And the same rule applies. I need to trust God with help in it versus saying, “I’m just not very good at setting aside time for or focusing on prayer.”

I may not be good at it, but where I am limited, He is limitless.

Because He Can

It’s time we stop focusing on where we end & instead, start leaning into the One who has all we need to accomplish what He asks of us & all that honors Him & brings Him glory in this hurting world that needs Him so much.

He’s worth it!

Shine HOPE by asking for His help in how to do it, when to do it, & help in what you need in order to do it. He has all you need, Lovely!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Restoring Hope Necklace

This versatile, reversible necklace features mother of pearl in hues of black on one side & off-white on the other, hanging from an antiqued brass chain.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Although I Try…

One of the hardest parts of life, for me, is being aware of my own humanity.

It’s hard to know that I have limits & that I can’t do whatever I want whenever I want however I want.

It’s hard to know I mess up, make mistakes, & don’t always get it right when I am convinced I can handle it.

It’s hard to feel like quitting when you feel the pressure to be so much more than you are.

It’s just hard being human sometimes.

But, I Thought You Had a Handle on All This Because You Run a Blog? Nope

I know that some of you may have been following my blog for the one & a half years I have been doing it & maybe feel that I am such a “stronger Christian” than you are.

I can tell you right now that that is a big NOPE.

I am no stronger or better than anyone else reading this, but I serve a STRONG God who offers His help when we seek Him for it.

I am human. I drop the ball. I have doubts led by my desire to do things my way instead of God’s way. (I think becoming a “strong Christian” only comes when we realize how weak we really are & how much we actually need Him.)

It is ONLY by leaning into God for help in my MANY weak days/moments that I am able to accomplish ANYTHING of any worth. Otherwise, I would toss it all away for a cream soda & some tv show binge-watching or PS4 gaming on the couch.

My Flesh Is Weak… Can You Relate?

I also have a bent toward rebellion, like is so common for many of us, isn’t it?

Fighting my flesh is one of my least favorite parts about my humanity.

As Jesus put it to His disciples, right before He was taken to die on the cross for our sins, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41)

Isn’t that the truth?

Rebellion Vs. Submission… A Trust Issue

My heart longs to go all in & trust God with every fiber of my being, knowing He loves me more than everyone I know combined (& then a whole lot more!) & yet sometimes, in the quiet moments, I find myself bent toward indignation & obstinance.

Submitting is hard. Trusting is hard. I want my way.

I don’t want to have to trust Anyone else. I don’t want to have to listen to anyone else or do what anyone else tells me to do.

I want to do things MY way, however flawed that way may be… regardless of the fact that it may hurt myself or others (because that is precisely what sin does—it causes harm to self & others).

Taking Every Thought Captive… Not Letting Stray Thoughts Rule Your Heart

I am prone to pride & selfishness… Self-protection.

I have to sometimes constantly do exactly what the Bible tells us when it says, “We demolish arguments & every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, & we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ,”(2 Corinthians 10:5) because I know deep down that He really does know far better than me & that every single time I have gone out in trusting Him, it has proved to be absolutely worth it every single time.

And yet I still resist sometimes.

We Are Freed from the Consequences of Sin, But Not the Temptation of It

Becoming a Christian doesn’t mean we will no longer struggle against our humanity, it means we are saved from being a slave to it. It means we are freed from the consequences of it.

I heard it said best, by author Courtney Doctor, when she said something like, “before we become Christian, we are not able to not sin, but once we let Christ take our sin on Himself by trusting in Him for our salvation, we are now able to not sin.”

In other words, I now have God’s help in not submitting to the temptations that fight for my attention. Will I always turn to Him for that help? Unlikely. I will make mistakes… But God is willing to help me when I ask Him for it.

The Hope in Our Humanity

That is the hope in all of this… in our humanity & the war raging for our attention… when we have submitted ourselves to Him as our Redeemer & when we lean into Him for help, “taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ,” He helps us overcome.

Praying for “Backup”

Will we resist in pride sometimes, yes. But this is what I pray in those moments:

“God, I don’t want to listen to You right now. I want to do this my way. I know you are nudging a warning in my mind that this is the wrong path, but it’s MY path & I want to take it. Please help me fight the war in my heart right now. I am too weak to fight back because I feel like I want it so badly. Please help me! Help me want Your way. Help me to see that You are King & Almighty God & my Creator & Redeemer & ONLY You know what is truly best. Help me to trust You. I want Your way because I know it is best but I am feeling so stubborn right now & I don’t want to care about what is best, only what I want. Please help me change my heart to follow You only. Amen.”

God Offers His Help to Overcome

Don’t let Satan convince you that because you feel stubborn or because you mess up that God doesn’t love you… FAR FROM IT!! And don’t let him convince you that it’s all up to you & self-willpower, because it isn’t.

Instead, tell Satan to “talk to the hand” (as once was actually cool to say), & then turn to prayer for God’s grace, forgiveness, & help. God will never neglect to offer you all of those things.

It’s okay to be human… it’s what you were created to be. You were created to need God’s help. You weren’t created to be God… God already has that role covered better than we could ever hope to pull off.

So, submit to Him in your humanity & ask for His help, His wisdom, His courage, His peace, & His strength.

You already have full access to His love, His mercy, His grace, & His care.

1 Peter 5:7 says it right here: “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

Shine HOPE by accepting His help through your own humanity, because He cares for you.

((*And yes, I forgot completely about our Special Feature Post this month the day after Christmas! Oops. Further proof that I am imperfect. I hope you can forgive me as we get back on track after the holidays!))

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Wisdom Necklace

Intricately handcrafted petals carved from ethically collected bone set in golden frames.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, adult literacy programs, & self-help groups! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Trending: Exhaustion

I have seen a consistent theme in many Christian circles… Many people seem to think that the more they DO for God, the better a Christian or God-follower they are.

I am here to break that harmful thought pattern with a little truth we could all stand to benefit from (including me).

Being a “good” Christian is not about how many “godly” things you cross off of your list, it is about leaning into God with more & more of your life.

The Beauty of Letting God be GOD

In other words, being a “good” Christian is about trusting God to lead versus trying to cover all the bases, exhausting ourselves, & missing the mark completely.

We need to learn to understand the beauty of surrender… the beauty of letting God rule our minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, etc.

God has a beautiful & vast plan that is both all-encompassing & intimately personal to each individual.

He doesn’t need our help figuring out how to carry out His plans.

What God Needs

God needs us to be still & to wait on Him. He needs us to listen. He needs us to be willing to let Him lead. He needs us to trust Him enough to obey when He leads our hearts. He needs us to surrender our ideas to His will. He needs us to use our resources according to His nudging versus our earthly & thus greatly shortsighted understanding.

And sometimes, He needs us to LET GO of what He has NOT asked us to do in a season of life… but that we keep clinging to because to us it defines our level of commitment to God.

His Plans Are Not Our Plans

God is trying to show you YOUR individually created purpose & the joys of seeing all that He has set before you in His wonderful plan.

He wants us to join in HIS plan.

You see, being a “good” Christian is not about how much you accomplish for God, but in how much you trust Him & let Him lead your steps. It’s about making Him Lord over your life.

But… But…

I understand the temptation to want to prove our loyalty or love for Him.

I understand the pressure to prove to others that I am a “good enough” Christian or that I am doing “enough” for God.

I understand wanting to be Martha (Luke 10:38-42) aka a good hostess for my Lord.

But God wants more of our HEARTS.

Should we be willing to live out our faith, in action? Yes! But that should be done by leaning into God & letting Him determine & lead those actions, versus trying to do it all.

God Is Not Asking Us to “FIX” the World, But to Carry Out Our Given Purpose While in It

On this side of heaven, the world will never be perfect. God is not asking us to change that & He is not putting the pressure on our shoulders to make this world perfect.

What He is asking is for us to lean into Him & ask Him what His will for our day/life is.

Not to do it all, but to do what He has planned for YOU.

We have to be willing to trust Him to handle the rest.

We Want to be the Hero… But God Has Already Won the War

Are there gaps that you see & you want to fill it all in? Don’t jump to fill every void if you are already obeying God’s steps for you. Instead, ask for His wisdom & guidance & will & trust HIM to be the Hero.

Maybe He will help you restructure so that the need that is stressing you out is no longer needed in the same way.

Maybe God sends help from somewhere unexpected.

Maybe that thing is not actually needed at this time & maybe He is asking you to let it go & trust Him.

My point is this… God sees what we do not… & we should be trusting in Him & leaning into Him instead of trying to replace Him by doing it all for the God of the universe.

Saying “No” When It’s Hard

When I was out of high school, I faced my second battle with depression/anxiety. I was angry & sad a lot & didn’t know how to stop it. I had suicidal thoughts quite often.

So, I ended up seeing a therapist to help me understand the battle waging in my mind & she helped me see outside of my own loop of solutions that never worked but went like this:

Stressor -> Anger/sadness -> Suicidal thoughts -> Stuffing it -> Stressor -> Anger/sadness, etc. (It was a downward spiraling loop.)

She showed me a doorway I never knew was there before: to say “No” versus trying to be everyone’s everything.

My anxiety was brought on by my inability to say “no” or “not now” to others… I never wanted anyone to feel let down or alone–both wonderful things, but I needed to instill balance in my life.

The reality was that I COULD NOT be everyone’s everything… It simply was not possible.

Don’t Burn Out… Look to Him & Rest in His Plan/Purposes

The same is true with Christian living.

If we go about life trying to fill in every gap & perfect every imperfection that we see in this world, we will quickly become despairing & exhausted.

God doesn’t need us to fill His shoes. He needs us to obey where He calls us, specifically.

And we won’t know what that moment-by-moment, daily calling is unless we are leaning into Him for direction, wisdom, strength, & guidance.

Maybe, Just Maybe, He Knows “Just a Little Bit” More

Maybe He sees a side door or new direction/way that you have been ignoring or unknowingly bypassing.

Maybe He sees a person willing to step up that you have overlooked.

Maybe He knows a little (a WHOLE LOT) more than we do.

Maybe we should let Him be God & surrender our hearts & lives to serve His will, plan, & design in just the ways He personally calls us to… & leave the rest to Him.

Abiding more is all about leaning into Him more… direction, wisdom, guidance, strength, power, a way where there is no way, love, patience, joy, kindness, compassion, hope, grace, mercy, & everything else we need.

Pray, & ask Him to show you what that should look like in your own life.

A Prayer to Let Go… And to Act Where He Leads

“Lord, I feel like I am trying to do it all. I want to please You, but I understand that You don’t need me to do it all in order for You to accomplish Your will & way. Help me to let You have the control instead of trying to maintain it myself. You are not dependent on me for everything that You desire for this world. Help me to let go of control & offer it to Your able hands instead. Teach me to trust You to be GOD. Help me to see where you want me to give up certain things that You are not asking of me & help me see the areas You are asking me to fill. If there is a job or action that you want to restructure or omit for now, please make it clear to me & teach me to walk in You, letting You lead my every step, including how I serve You, whom I reach out to, how I spend my resources, etc. You are God. Teach me to trust You with more & more of my life every day because of Your great love for me, Your great love for this world, & Your infinite wisdom & power. Thank You for all that You are. I love You. Amen.”

Letting Him be God Over It ALL

Becoming a full-time Christian happens by learning the beautifully freeing art of letting Him be God of every area of your life… NOT by trying to do it all.

He can handle it, trust me.

Shine Hope by bowing your will to His way, & leaning into Him through every step of the way.

Coming Next Week

Join me this Thursday morning for our December Special Feature post & then also every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Holly is one of the founders of Trades of Hope & her passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Whether she is visiting the women living in the brothels of Asia or in hometown USA, her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity.

A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace with a golden chain sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Closing a Series, But God Is Always At Work

Well, this is it, the final week of our Pivot moments for this series.

I am sure God will continue to flip my world upside down to exchange the lies I have come to believe for His truth, but for the sake of this series of pivotal moments, this is the last… for now.

God Is Working a Masterpiece

Today, it will get dark again, before the light shines through the clouds, revealing a marvelous plan that God had all along, but that I just then began to realize was there.

That’s how it always works with God.

We tend to fret & stress & worry & fear, as if God doesn’t already have a plan to fit all of the pieces together, making a breath-taking masterpiece out of the messy “colors” we saw as chaos.

AND, He doesn’t leave it at that… He offers us comfort & peace & strength to endure the hardships that lead up to that marvelous reveal, as we lean into Him for it.

And that is how He worked as He led me through my struggles in both Guam AND Hokkaido.

God Was Working a Plan I Didn’t See

God was working a plan to show Himself to me in a way that I needed to see.

He needed me to learn that my gifting was simply His way of working through my life & had little to do with how much I may or may not have deserved it.

The Ugly Pride

First, I feel it important to let you in on the fact that I struggled (& still do struggle) with pride because of my gifting from God.

Because certain things oftentimes seem so obvious & easy to me, to see deeper insight into a situation to know God’s truth & how it needs to be applied or how someone is avoiding God’s truth in a certain area… I began to believe that it must be that I care more about God & truth than others.

I know, I know… it sounds arrogant just reading that.

But although I didn’t think of it as pride, but more that I felt alone in wanting to serve the truth, it just wasn’t true that my gifting was equal to my personal deserving of it.

An Undeserved Gift

My gifting was simply what it sounds like… a gift… from God. Did it make me more perceptive than some others? Perhaps. But I still had weaknesses where others had great strengths.

This particular area just happened to be MY strength, leaving me to need help from others with DIFFERENT strengths… the whole “body of Christ”/”body of the Church” idea. All of our strengths (“giftings”) WORK TOGETHER & are GIFTS from God—not earned or deserved.

Obviously, the more obedient & trusting we are to God, the more He will choose to work in & through our gifting, but the gifting itself is… just a GIFT.

All that to say, I obviously needed both a lesson in humility & a lesson in it being from HIM & not me.

Walking through the Valley

And to accomplish this pivot in my life, God chose to allow me to walk through hardship… namely, loneliness in Guam & a life of strain, where I had very little control, living in Japan, in an area with VERY LITTLE English.

Living in those two places brought me to a place of feeling like very little that I accomplished had anything to do with what I had earned or deserved.

I was mainly just trying to get through to the next day, only sometimes remembering to pray for the strength & peace & wisdom & guidance to navigate each day & instead, relying on television show marathons & food to get me through it.

And it got worse.

Starting to Have “The Talk”-About Depression & Potential Cries for Help

Near the end of those six years, I had to start having a lot of conversations with Jamie about my history with depression & that if it got bad enough, slipping by unnoticed until it consumed me, & if I admitted that to him & asked for help, that he needed to get me emergency help.

Luckily, it never reached emergency status, but I guess in a way it did.

Over time, in Hokkaido, the mental strain & stress of never understanding (pretty much anything) of the world around me began to take a serious toll on my mind.

I began having emotional breakdowns over the smallest things.

I felt BROKEN, like a person who couldn’t function like a normal human being.

Paper-Thin Patience

To better express the strain… if I dropped an item once, even a small, slip-through-my-fingers drop… it required a deep breath of resolve to just pick it back up…. But a second drop? The item would get picked up with lightning speed & chucked at the nearest wall.

Patience was worn thin every moment. I had zero patience.

I crumbled at the slightest aggravation or inconvenience.

I cried or screamed or cursed so loud that I didn’t care if the whole world heard.

And I felt broken.

Broken

I understood this wasn’t normal. I understood that the average human being can manage to pick something up that had dropped just twice without feeling hatred explode out of her.

But I couldn’t stop it. I felt like something in me had short-circuited & I could no longer filter frustrations through logic & calm reserve to try again.

I just immediately would snap, without even considering it first or thinking it through.

It scared me how little control I had over my own brain & how it reacted to even minor difficulties.

And yet, through all of that, I felt God’s hand on me… as if He was reassuring me that He wouldn’t let go… that He had me still.

God Wasn’t Answering MY Way, So I Felt Forgotten

But I eventually stopped praying.

I felt deserted by God because the pain only got worse & the control over my own emotions melted slowly away.

I was trapped in a mental typhoon that swirled everything together & knocked all sense out of my life.

I was exhausted & frustrated. I felt broken & no longer whole or “normal” & I saw ZERO way to repair or fix it.

Every attempt seemed to laugh at me.

My prayers went “unanswered.”

Bitterness grew into an angry, snarling, jaded voice that screamed for relief at every corner.

Streaming Curse Words

I saw God walking beside me, in a sense, feeling Him there… but He wasn’t making all the pain stop. He wasn’t repairing my mind. He wasn’t calming the storm raging inside me.

So, I cried. A LOT.

My second (inner) language became strung-together curse words, screamed inside my mind.

I couldn’t turn off the rage that was starting to consume me, like a rage monster tearing away at me from the inside, bellowing its fierceness from within me.

Professional Help, Please!

As I finally confessed this inner battle to Jamie, upon our decision-making to stay in Hokkaido or move on, I told him the truth, “Jamie, I am really struggling. Either I need a professional counselor, or we need to leave to go somewhere less stressful on my brain. I need help.”

So, we moved to Misawa, Japan, near an American military base & the stress began to recede.

Even With My NOTHING

God showed me that even WHILE I was feeling broken & unfixable, bitter instead of trusting, & barely surviving through my mental typhoon each day, that He STILL chose to work through my life to bless others through my gifting.

In other words, EVEN WHEN I did NOTHING to earn or deserve anything, He still allowed me to be a blessing to others through HIS gifting.

Ex Nihilo

I used to think that it was up to us to bring the best of what we have & to be the best at everything ALL THE TIME & be everyone’s EVERYTHING, & ONLY THEN can God do miraculous, wonderful things in & through our lives.

BUT… in my failing… in my brokenness… in my falling apart… when I felt I had nothing to offer Him… HE STILL DID Mighty things, through ME!!

Like He showed us through Creation… God can do AMAZING things EX NIHILO (“From Nothing”).

Not Us, But HIM, THROUGH US

My gifting & my ability to bless others how He chooses to work through me, is not because I have proven any better than other people… but because He is a Mighty & Awesome & LOVING God who does great things despite my unworthiness, because He loves us so incredibly much.

He can take our NOTHING & make it a MASTERPIECE.

His Grace IS Sufficient

Even if our “leaning into Him” is as a paralytic who cannot even hold themselves up, HE HOLDS US UP in His strength, His mercy, His love, His power, His goodness, His forgiveness, His saving, HIS GRACE.

If you recognize a gifting God has given you when you chose to put your faith in Jesus as the Master & Redeemer of your life, learn from my mistakes… bow them at His feet & thank Him for blessing you with a way to bless others, through HIS GIFTING.

And then lean into Him to best use that gift to honor Him & to bring Him glory, by making Him famous wherever you go, loving others to Jesus, through truth & faith in Him. He will help you as you lean into Him.

Shine HOPE, by giving Him the little you have & letting Him multiply it, even if it feels as if you have little to nothing to offer Him… by LEANING INTO HIM.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Iris Earrings

Iridescent pink crystal beads sway on these golden teardrop hoops.

Artisan Information:

In Peru, rural citizens have been affected by extreme poverty & guerrilla warfare. Women are affected the worst as their husbands generally leave them in search of work. Many are unable to get the basic needs of food, shelter, & clothing. But with every purchase of this product, women are finding hope & an income by hand-making this beautiful product. Because of you, these family businesses are now empowering the next generation!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Peru!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

God Will Continue to Work

Well, we’re nearing the end of my pivotal moments series (for now). I know God will continue to shape me & continue to shake up my normal for His truth.

Trusting God AND Ourselves… Versus Just God

Today, we are following last week’s topic about trusting God through our struggles instead of coming up with our own solutions that, in turn, create new problems. (Like trusting in singleness & then panicking when God brings a relationship into your damaged heart life.)

It’s far too easy to try trusting God AND our own solution, versus JUST trusting GOD.

We tend to think the two are the same thing. Saying to ourselves & others, “I prayed (therefore, “trusting God”), but then I will do what I think will fix it versus waiting for His solution.”

So, it warrants a discussion about praying our way through fears, & trusting God, when we’re tempted to rely on our own strategy, “wisdom,” fears, etc.

(To read our Love Story, in short story form, check them out by clicking Part 1 & Part 2.)

But How?

But how does God answer our prayers? What does “trusting God only” even mean? How do we know what He wants when it’s different than what we want? How do you hear God’s answers? How do you even know His will if you can’t HEAR Him?

Those types of questions are so common & I have thought ALL of them. I still don’t have a comprehensive understanding of how God works & will probably always have something to learn when it comes to the answers to those questions.

But God oftentimes (pretty much exclusively) leads us with baby steps, versus dumping all of His infinite knowledge on us all at once.

Remember, He is an INFINITE God.

We, on the contrary, are FINITE.

But, baby steps.

So, when my now husband, Jamie, entered my life, I first panicked, then prayed.

Unbeknownst to Me

But unbeknownst to me, Jamie was already praying… & not about wanting a relationship with me.

He was ALSO praying to avoid another heartache.

But God kept nudging him… to me.

He kept avoiding… kept praying to stay single… but God would not let him ignore me.

It wasn’t a push to get married, just an undeniable push to befriend me.

This obviously clashed with my desire to avoid him at all costs, haha. Thanks, God.

And when I could no longer avoid him, upon him asking me on our first date, I finally had to stop running & start praying.

Praying My Desire Versus Praying to Trust God’s Plan

Now, let’s be clear that I HAD been praying the whole time… but not for God’s will, wisdom, & direction… but for me to stay single (what I thought I wanted aka what I thought would keep me safest from heartbreak).

And now, I had to make a clear decision & I had to ask God’s will & guidance & HELP. I had to be willing to trust God with both scenarios of relationship or singlehood, not just singlehood.

My Prayer

But then God whispered on my heart, “Do you remember what you have been praying these last few years?”

I did. It went something like, “God, help me to trust Your plan & not just the fears or perceptions I see in front of me. Help me to see that if I marry, you are wanting me to marry a man that will grow into the man I need, versus someone perfectly fit right now. Help me to see Your will above my own. Help me to not judge someone based on their NOW, versus Your potential within them. If I marry, Lord, help it be someone who is willing to let me down in order to follow YOUR LEAD. Because You know far better what’s best for me than I do. And, Lord, because I will no longer flirt or “help things along”, I will go on at least ONE date with a man willing to ask me out when I have shown zero interest… knowing how much courage that takes. Amen.”

Well, now a guy was asking me out & I had to put my faith to the test.

I had prayed those things more than I could count. And now was my opportunity to trust God’s answer & His willingness to lead me every step.

And He did.

(But I still freaked out & panicked & wanted to bail along the way, because fear is quite a motivator.)

Ask Anyway…

But for those of you who have those questions of how God could even help… & so avoid asking God for help in those moments, wondering what God could possibly do that you haven’t already tried yourself (sounds arrogant & completely ridiculous just writing it, doesn’t it?… but isn’t that what we sort of feel, if we’re completely honest with ourselves?)… I want to share my journey & what God did for me in the midst of my questions.

My pastor friend told me many times while dating my now husband, “God is not a God of confusion. If you want answers & you seek Him for those answers, He WILL answer you… you just need to wait on God’s timing for those answers & trust that HE is capable.”

Waiting on God for Every Step, Like a Daughter Dancing on Her Father’s Feet

And so, despite my inner rebel telling me to flee the scene & not risk another heartbreak, I kept praying & I took those baby steps, waiting on God’s timing & God’s answers instead of trusting my own fear & worry.

Here are some ways I prayed & ways that God answered me along the way:

(HINT: God is an infinite God. What He guides me through is not a cut & paste testimony, but rather an EXAMPLE of how personal God is with us, when we let Him. Don’t rely on how God led ME in lieu of letting Him lead YOU. What worked for me may not work for you. You have to take steps of trusting Him with your own situation. He will guide you!)

1. Praying Before We Even Met

As I mentioned before, it’s important to be praying beforehand so you are prepared to follow & listen to God when you DO meet. Pray for discernment, peace, wisdom, trust to follow God whether in singleness or marriage… & anything else that comes to mind or worries you.

But, if you’re already in a relationship, it’s never too late to start.

2. Pray, Willing to Give It Up If It’s Not God’s Guiding

Along the way, I prayed for God to guide me… for Him to kick me out of the dating relationship, with completely clear certainty, if it wasn’t His best for us. (I was sort of hoping He would kick me out of it so the risk of heartbreak would evaporate with it.)

I prayed not to cling, not to romanticize, not to make anything more than it was. I prayed for God’s perspective to overshadow my own. I prayed to be willing to allow His will to trump mine.

3. Praying for Perspective When You Meet

I knew I was a daydreamer, wrapped up in every new possibility….

And I felt God nudging my heart in a very specific way during the beginning of my time with Jamie, “Michelle, you fall head over heels immediately when a guy holds your hand & holds you in long, comforting hugs… & if you really want to stay objective to knowing My will, you know you need to avoid physical affection because that’s a personal weakness & trigger for you.”

And so, I set strict physical contact boundaries for our dating relationship. No hugs, no kisses, no holding hands, no arms around the shoulder… & no sex. And I stuck to it.

I wanted to know Jamie for who he was, not for how he made me feel. Feelings change. I wanted more than temporary, unreliable feelings.

4. Praying Over Character/Personality & Whether It Was a Good Match with How God Designed Me

Clashes happen a lot in marriage, even when you’re “a good fit for each other.”

God had shown me different character traits that were important to me along the way, such as being willing to displease me in order to obey God… Or someone who was a kind & gentle listener, seeking to understand & discuss, versus brush off… Someone who, even with flaws & weaknesses, sought to know & love God more… not to just be a “good enough person.”

I prayed often over very specific things, asking God to show me if Jamie at least had that potential &/or willingness to grow… WITHOUT me prompting it… (& that is an important distinction)! If he knew I felt I needed certain traits & he liked me, don’t you think he would do his best to be that for me? But no, I wanted to hear it from God, not Jamie… so I never once hinted at my hopes.

My prayers were silent, between me & God only.

And every prayer resulted in Jamie telling me something like this the next day or so, “I don’t know why, because this seems really random to talk about, but I feel like telling you this story about one time when [enter a story about said character trait that I had recently prayed about here] happened.”

Blew my mind every time, but God was constantly finding ways to reaffirm His guidance in our relationship, because I was diligently seeking His will first.

5. I Set Boundaries of Potential Relationship Timing & PRAYED

After pouring out my heart to Jamie, after our very first date, expressing all of my fears & concerns, I asked him to wait THREE months before even considering asking to make it an official relationship. Friends only–no relationship talk, no romance, nothing. Just friends–for three MONTHS.

And I prayed & asked God for His wisdom & guidance & timing & I didn’t even dare try to “help it along” … I just waited on God.

Coupling with my desire to be with a man willing to disappoint me in order to obey God’s leading, I asked God to have Jamie go against my three-month request in order to ONLY trust God, even at the risk of scaring me away for good. I asked for God to push Jamie to ask me before the end of three WEEKS’ time.

And I didn’t ONCE even HINT that I was praying that as a confirmation from God. Not once.

And guess what… On December 31^st, mere hours before the three week time frame was over, Jamie spoke up… “Michelle, I have been praying like you asked me to, for God’s will & timing versus my feelings & I got my answer a couple days ago, but have continued praying & continued waiting because you told me not to even bring it up until three months, but I can’t shake the feeling that I am supposed to tell you now. I have been battling it all day & praying it away because I am terrified of scaring you away, but I feel like God wants me to say it now, so I need to say it now. I feel like God wants me to ask you out today. Will you agree to an official relationship? Will you be my girlfriend?”

If you are imagining a cartoon where the person’s jaw literally hits the floor, you are imagining pretty closely to how I felt in that exact moment.

I prayed. I waited. God answered.

God Is Infinite… God Is Infinitely Creative… God ANSWERS

As I said before, God is infinite & infinitely creative. The way He works through my life is not the same as how He will choose to move, through prayer, in your own life.

This story is meant to prompt you to PRAY… to seek God alone… To trust that HE knows what He’s doing & He CAN & WILL guide you & give you wisdom as you seek Him.

Trust Him, always… It’s ALWAYS worth it.

And when you don’t feel like you even know how to begin trusting Him… Start there… Ask Him to help you know how to trust Him. He will, my friend. He will.

Shine HOPE, by praying through the fears & unknowns (which are often the same thing).

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

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A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

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Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Brave Necklace

With hand-rolled cereal box beads, Haitian clay beads, and paired with suede tan cording, this staple necklace is perfect for any wardrobe.

Artisan Information:

Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who gave them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Haiti!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!