Redeeming the Narrative

Okay, let’s take a moment to kick Satan out of this conversation. He has too long written the narrative for mental illness & it is about time we take it back & place it under our loving ALMIGHTY God.

So, if you are no stranger to my blog, then you know by now that I talk about my battle with depression—a lot—how it has shaped me, how it torments me in some seasons of my life, & how God has used it in my life to make Himself & His love known to me.

But something I have not really addressed, at least not with much detail, is how to parse through a life with mental illness & come out with victory versus defeat. So, let’s redeem the narrative.

Victory In, After, & Through

Now, I am not talking only about victory after the fact… you know, the struggle & fight & maybe eventual crash that God uses to show Himself sovereign, in control at all times, faithful, full of grace & love, & His ever willingness to turn any bad in my life for His glory AND my good… But victory IN & THROUGH the struggle as well!

For me, this seems to be an occasion for a good eye roll. “In & through the struggle” means the struggle is still going on, so how can that mean any victory is happening at all???

But hang with me & let’s flesh this out so that if you struggle with a mental illness (or any illness, really) or whether you simply know someone with that struggle… then you know how to have wise discernment in it, you know how to pray through it, & you know you don’t HAVE to give in to it—you CAN have victory IN & THROUGH it!

Our Struggle or Sin Does Not Define Us

First of all, we need to recognize that one of the cunning tactics of the devil is that he loves to take our struggles with sin or our circumstances & wrap them into our identity.

Satan does this with homosexuality, for example, as we can clearly see in our culture today. God gave me the discernment to see there are no “homosexuals” only PEOPLE. Some people PRACTICE homosexuality & some don’t, but all are PEOPLE—an important distinction!

The same is becoming true with regard to mental illness. “I struggle with mental illness” is becoming an identifier for ourselves.

This isn’t necessarily sinful, but rather a way we learn how to relate to the world & accept our limitations, but Satan is not without his tricks & cunning manipulations.

When we begin to IDENTIFY as “one who struggles with ________________ mental illness,” we can fall into the trap of limiting ourselves along with the limitations that illness creates within us… & limiting God right along with it!

The Five Parts

So, today, I want to break apart this issue of depression (or mental illness) into the 5 separate parts involved in how we identify mental illness (cause, symptoms, consequences of symptoms, Satan’s exploitation of those, & our CHOICE in how we respond to it all) & help us understand mental illness with discernment so we do not have to feel controlled by it.

I want to break mental illness into five parts—I will be using depression as my example, since that is my personal struggle, but this can be applied to any limitation you face mentally or physically.

Parts 1-3 (Cause, Symptoms, & Consequences of Symptoms)

First, consider the actual, medical problem that exists, also known as the cause—for example, depression can mean that your body does not properly regulate how much serotonin or dopamine is released in your body.

So, secondly, because your body does not produce or regulate well its proper levels of these chemicals in your brain… the symptoms, or the second part of depression, are what results from this lowered or unregulated release of these chemicals in your brain. The symptoms may include sluggishness, feeling tired or checked out or numb to goings on around you. You can feel a lack of energy or excitement.

And now, the third part would be the consequences of the symptoms… maybe not being as engaging, cheerful or personable, tasks seeming more difficult to complete, you don’t feel happiness in accomplishing tasks, making simple tasks feel complicated, frustrating, &/or difficult. In short, life feels HARD even in situations where those things may typically seem simpler or easier for us or others.

Part 4-Satan’s Exploitations of Our Weak Spots

Here is where we typically go wrong in how we determine what IS depression or mental health: Satan’s exploiting those symptoms & consequences, using our limitations & insecurities.

These manipulating exploitations often feed off of insecurities or poor reactions from others & sound similar to: “you are no fun at social gatherings, so just stop going & just avoid people altogether-who cares about them anyway, you don’t need them.” Or “You annoy everyone with your symptoms, so they would be better off without you,” or “everything is hard all the time because you’re a failure of a human being, so just quit already.”

These are twistings of the truth & that is Satan’s specialty. He is cunning & has had a lot of practice. He knows where to hit us & how to kick us when we’re down. He is a liar. (John 8:43-44)

Part 5-The Choice

But that is where part #5 comes in: WE HAVE A CHOICE IN HOW WE RESPOND.

We can either A.) believe Satan’s lies, cave under the weight, & just give up trying because everything just feels hard & quitting just feels like the easier &/or only option.

OR, B.) we can CHOOSE to DETERMINE to cling to God as our hope, our strength, & our comfort. This one takes a humbled, surrendered heart for God’s help to replace our desire for self-sufficiency.

My Cravings for Self-Sufficiency… But… God

I get it. I struggle EVERY time with this choice. I crave easy. I crave comfort. Easy & comfort are some of my main idols in life that I wrestle regularly. It seems SO MUCH EASIER to just be like, “screw it. It’s too hard. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t have it in me to always have it this hard ALL THE TIME!”

BUT… God.

I like to feel capable & in control. I like to feel like “I got this!” & move with confidence that I can handle anything life throws at me… that I can figure it out & work past it & do okay.

But depression reminds me that this isn’t real. I am NOT enough. I DON’T have enough strength. I WANT to quit. I WANT to be capable in & of MYSELF, but I’m NOT!

But… God.

I Am Not Meant to be Self-Sufficient

I’m not meant to be self-sufficient. I was made (& you were made) to have God be our sufficiency. WE WERE MADE TO NEED HIM.

And that’s hard for me, to be honest. It’s really hard.

I don’t like feeling weak. I don’t like SIMPLE tasks feeling SO DANG HARD. I don’t like struggling. I don’t like not being enough. I don’t like when things don’t wrap up all neatly with a nice pretty bow on top.

Depression brings me to the end of myself quite frequently & I quit… a lot.

But when I make a pattern of quitting, Satan knows his tricks well… they seem easier… they seem better… they may even seem like the only option left… but continuing to quit leads to darker & dimmer & a spiral of despair that leads to a darkness so thick you don’t even know how to get out anymore… & Satan knows it.

But… God.

With God, There Is ALWAYS Hope

God can get you out of that darkness you don’t know how to find your way out of… But He can help you well before that, too.

But it takes humility. I’m not going to lie to you… Humility & surrender is HARD, but not as hard as giving up will end up being.

I have to be willing to accept my weakness… my limitations… the HARD, take them to God, & say:

“God, please help me. Help me discern the lies of Satan so he can’t trick me anymore. Don’t let me follow him. Help me cling to You. Help me trust You to be my enough. Humble me to accept YOU as my strength when I have none. To trust You as sufficient in my struggle. To trust You as my comfort. Teach me HOW to do that. I don’t want to live according to Satan’s tricks anymore. I want to choose You—I want to choose LIFE. You are my LIFE. You breathe life into me, so please do that now. Bring joy where I only feel pain. Bring Your strength where I only feel weakness. Help me to praise You IN this. Don’t let me retract into loneliness. Help me give grace to my family & friends because I don’t understand why everything is so hard—it doesn’t make sense to me how it can be this hard—so how can I expect them to understand? Forgive me for my anger at them for not understanding. Forgive me for wanting my control back, for wanting to feel capable & self-sufficient. Help me slump into You. Help me grasp hold of Your hand. Help me trust You against every odd. You are enough for me. Help me to remember that You are enough for me. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!”

Understanding Depression with Discernment

Hard doesn’t have to equal bad… it’s just hard… & that’s okay, because HARD allows us a reminder that we are not enough & to look to Him who IS.

Hard allows us the miraculous insight into the grace & love & comfort & peace & strength & faithfulness & HOPE of God. WHAT AN UNCOMPARABLE GIFT!!!

And check this: Easy doesn’t always mean GOOD. And don’t let Satan convince you otherwise. God calls him the father of lies for a reason. (John 8:43-44)

Don’t define yourself or others by an illness, instead, consider the 5 parts so you know how to ask God for help & how to discern where Satan may be trying to exploit your symptoms & the consequences of those symptoms. God is greater still!

Shine HOPE by CLINGING to God & HIS Truth, HIS comfort, HIS strength, HIS peace, HIS faithfulness, HIS love, & HIS grace, even when you can’t seem to find any of that within yourself.

HE. IS. ENOUGH.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Turtle Backpack (Guatemala)

Handcrafted in Guatemala from upcycled traditional Mayan tipico fabric, every 100% cotton backpack features a zipper closure & totally unique patterns & colors. Send your kids to school with this adorable turtle backpack to help moms in Guatemala send their kids to school too!

Every purchase supports women in areas of extreme poverty in Guatemala.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

“For God Has Not Given Us a Spirit of Fear”

Have you ever heard the words of 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”?

Growing up going to church, I have heard this verse quoted many a time. But oftentimes when quoted, this verse takes on notes of reprimand, as in: “Why are you afraid? God tells us He hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, so you shouldn’t be afraid. So stop it!”

Well, this is very true in that we shouldn’t be afraid, but I think I misunderstood the heart behind this God-given Truth for most of my life.

Not Condemnation, But Fact

I always felt condemnation from that verse, as if ‘how dare you demonstrate or feel fear, you’re obviously not trusting God enough.’

But, if we look at Judges 6 & 7, with the story about Gideon’s fear, we can clearly see that God did not condemn Gideon for his fear, but was patient in revealing His ability to save in the midst of the many reasons he had to fear.

This helped me better understand God’s heart behind 2 Timothy 1:7, not coming with a voice of condemnation, but rather of revealing a fact. In other words, He is telling us that the fear we feel is not something from Him, it is not something we need to feel imprisoned or paralyzed by.

But… GOD–He Is Bigger Than Any Fear I Could Face

Fear may be felt when we face the unknown or when tragedy leaves us feeling broken or when we’re faced with tremendous trials that seem insurmountable… but we can take heart because that fear is not in our design… it’s a natural response of me as a human facing my limitations.

But… God.

That fear isn’t from Him. We don’t HAVE to let it consume us. It’s a message of HOPE, not condemnation!

That even if we face our biggest fear & that fear threatens to envelop & control our joy, our peace, our confidence… we have the ability to say, “No. I will not let this consume me because this isn’t from God, it’s a fleshly response, but God is bigger & greater than me or any fearful situation I may face, so I can trust in Him more than I cave into my fear!”

God Is Patient, Kind, & Understanding with My Fears… But He Doesn’t Want to Let Them Continue to Control the Narrative of My Life

God was so patient with Gideon when he doubted & feared & questioned constantly, as if to say, “who me??? ME?!? Are you sure You’re talking to the right person here, God? Me? I can’t do that… but, if it is really You & You really will help me overcome this great enemy, I can walk in boldness… so show me, confirm for me that it really is Your call… & I will go.”

But then Gideon seemed to pray that a few times during the story… not unlike ME when faced with something I fear. I want to know that I know that I know that it’s HIM calling me to go before I go. I can trust going only if I know it’s Him calling me to go.

And God patiently revealed that it was indeed Him leading the way, assuring Gideon that no matter how scary & daunting & doomsday-approaching his situation might seem, he doesn’t have to be controlled by that fear any longer because God was with him, assuring victory Himself.

Asking for Confirmation Versus Using Delay Tactics

God doesn’t want me to test Him as a delay tactic to avoid obedience to what I already know is His leading… but if the odds seem stacked against me & I have seen something I have tried fail over & over & OVER again… He understands my fear & is willing to patiently reveal His leading to confirm in my heart that it really is Him… so I can walk forward in confident obedience in Him, through Him.

As in my commitment fears before I married my husband. I wanted to get married, but I was so scared of the future uncertainties. I wanted to trust God to be leading me, but I needed to know it was really of Him & not just me WANTING it to be Him.

And God reassured in many ways as He led the way to the alter when I married my husband of now 10 years. So glad I trusted God more than my fears & I am so glad God patiently assured my of His lead MANY times!

Letting My Fear Control Me… Versus Finding Freedom in Trusting Those Fears to HIM

I know this example may seem silly to you, but something I am praying about is whether to volunteer with a foster aid group here on Guam. It seems silly to be afraid to move forward in this, since it’s for a good cause… but my past makes me afraid.

You see, as much as I know He has given me peace beyond the impossible with so many failed attempts for children of my own… He has provided a peace I didn’t think I could possess… but God has used this volunteer opportunity to bring to light the fear I was holding in my heart (unbeknownst to me), tucked deep within my heart.

I have a fear of opening my heart for other people’s children for fear that it will remind me of what I don’t have… children of my own. So I tend to keep them at arm’s length & not interact much or at all with them, for fear of me wanting what I don’t have myself.

My Journey of Childlessness & the Walls of Fear I Have Built

You see, I have had tests done. I have taken supplements & Chinese herbs prescribed in Japan. I have, in my past, done countless ovulation tests & temperature-taking charts. I have felt the joy of expectation & hope only to realize it wasn’t going to happen again this time either….

In fact, the stress of continual disappointment became so constant & discouraging that I had to just give up on all the charting & checking & testing & just say to God, “God, if You want it to happen, I am just going to just trust You to make it happen in Your timing, & if not, then… not. Help me to trust You no matter what & in whatever timing. Amen.”

But then more years passed & no children came.

And what I didn’t notice was that in all of that heartache, I had subconsciously begun to build a wall of protection around my heart to protect myself.

And sometimes those feelings hit me off guard when I start to let my guard down around friends’ kids. And then I am suddenly knocked off my feet by grief of what may never be.

God Revealed My Hidden Fears So I Could Be Reminded That He Has Not Given Me a Spirit of Fear

This volunteer opportunity revealed to me that while I am not overcome by my sadness, I am also not completely trusting that fear to Him… I am trying to keep other kids at a distance to protect MYSELF versus opening my heart AND trusting Him to care for me.

It is something I need to admit & repent of to God, to say, “I see it now & I am sorry. I see now that I am building a wall around my heart instead of trusting You to protect & care for it. I am trusting me more than You & I am sorry Please help me trust You with my fear more than I hide from my fear.”

And maybe that’s why I feel the nudge to volunteer there… to reveal to me my need to let go myself & let God take care of my heart & my fears instead. Maybe He is whispering over my heart: “It’s time to let go of this fear. It’s time to stop letting it control you & your willingness to open your heart to children that won’t ever be yours. It’s time to love others & trust My love as sufficient for you, come what may. You don’t have to be held captive by this anymore. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Does God Condemn My Fear?

God doesn’t condemn my fear. He knows it’s human.

But He also knows I don’t have to be controlled or limited by it because it’s not from Him & He’s big enough for the both of us. He doesn’t want it to have any hold on my whatsoever.

He gives me power to overcome that fear. He gives me His love to conquer & overpower that fear. And He gives me a sound mind of peace & assurance over that fear… because HE IS GREATER.

What a comfort that He is so understanding, so patient & caring, & SO determined to not allow fear to keep me powerless, timid, afraid, & kept at a distance.

I can have confidence walking through my fears because HE is my confidence through them. I don’t have to be afraid. Praise GOD!

Shine HOPE by admitting your fears, taking your fears to Him, & asking for Him to help you overcome with His power, love, & assured peace to move forward… trusting Him more than you do any of your fears.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Flora Baseball Cap (Mexico)

Celebrate summer in style with this hand-embroidered Flora Baseball Cap from Mexico! This adjustable, spring-green, cotton canvas cap features feminine & fun muted pink, cream, & rust floral embroidery on the front right side. One size fits most.

Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Mexico!

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

I Didn’t Plan to Talk About This Today, But Here Goes…

I sat down today, ready to write, with my blog post topic ideas list in hand… but I guess God has something different in store for today.

I struggle with depression & depression is often highly misunderstood & oftentimes avoided by others, as if to say: “it doesn’t make sense to me how you can feel this way, so it makes me uncomfortable being around you when you talk about it.”

But it can also be so easy to allow my depression to take over my life.

With Depression, Life Is Hard… But Hard Doesn’t Have to Equal Bad

It’s true that people seem to default toward gaslighting & downplaying the struggle of depression symptoms, because 1. They don’t understand it, & 2. It makes them uncomfortable that they don’t understand it, but it’s also true that it can be easy to just give in to it & use it as an excuse to avoid life—because, with depression, life is hard.

And, while it’s not great when people try to minimize my struggle, I also have a responsibility to not use that as an excuse to “show people just how hard it really is” & give up… because sometimes that’s the temptation for me.

I Am Losing Some Ground in the Tug of War with Depression

If you have been following my posts recently, it’s probably no surprise to you that my depression symptoms have started to take a stronger grip on me lately–change is hard.

My temporary living space is somewhat depressing (some mold found, new cat litter is terrible at blocking smells in this tiny space, + I have to pretty much start my life completely over here in finding my place in this new space).

Moving is hard & it’s especially hard on the spouse, I would argue, because the one moving for the new job gets to plug right into their new job, while the spouse has to start from scratch & just figure something out every time.

Our moving process was hard this go around as well—with so, so many things that went wrong or fell through (of which it seemed God just stepped in every single time & was like, “Nah, I am going to just make it work out anyway, even though it really shouldn’t be possible at this point.” So effortless for Him when everything was falling apart at the seams, but it wasn’t a fun experience to go through—except in hindsight, seeing all the many ways God came through when there seemed to be no way forward.

So, with all the goodbyes, the suddenness of the move in general, the falling apart at the seams process, to now a depressing tiny apartment for the next month, + now starting my life over… again… well, it’s been pretty rough on me… & I have not handled it so well.

Sometimes, It’s Good to Cry It Out

Crying is cathartic for me. When stress builds up or I have to go through hard things, allowing myself to cry is a release… but lately, I have felt the need to cry almost daily.

My depression symptoms make it hard to function on top of all that I mentioned. I often have brain fog & feel empty & numb, like I’m someone who really cares trapped in a body/brain of an overwhelming “so what, who cares, what’s the point?” It’s maddening because I want to try but I just go into a numb fog where even simple things just feel so much more difficult than normal.

Satan Likes to Twist the Truth

And then, in my weakness, my vulnerability… Satan is at the wait… ready to lace everything with insecurities, highlighting every failure & slump, the reactions of people I care about… reactions even of facial expressions that say, “Really? Again? *sigh*,” & Satan jumps in to remind me, “look, not only is your life harder right now because of your depression symptoms, but you’re burdening everyone you care about. Now their life is harder just having you be a part of it. They shouldn’t have to deal with your problems.”

And, to an extent, he is right. And because satan likes to take truths & twist them, he is ready & waiting to do just that. The truth is, those people do still care about me. Do they like facing my burdens? Probably not. But they would rather have me with those burdens than not have me at all.

So, when people downplay or gaslight me, it just feels like he’s right. Period.

But I have to remember something very important: that whether others get it or not, whether they handle it well or not, whether it’s easy or not… the symptoms are real & they do make my life harder than it should be, but they don’t define me.

Depression & Me

Hard doesn’t have to mean bad.

And that’s my responsibility. I can’t hide behind the hard.

I have to be willing to submit the hard to God versus letting the hard define who I am.

I must determine to take that hard to God & say, “God, I am trapped by this. I feel like I’m drowning in it. I feel like I am ruining everyone else’s life just by existing. Please help me! Help me see that You are still in control! Give me peace that seems impossible! Help me to cling to You versus letting go when it feels easier to let go. Help me trust You come what may. Help shut out the lies of satan. Help me to surrender this struggle to You. Give me courage to step out of my survival mode to try something new—volunteer, a job, a friendship, discipling a young lady, something. Give me a purpose. Show me Your plan & purpose for me here. Hold my head above the water. Help me not to just give up & give in to the weight on me. Help me trust Your strength when I feel I have none left. Help me to be gracious to others who don’t understand or who discount what I say. Help me cling to You & not their understanding or lack thereof. Help me to be willing to go where You lead, even if it doesn’t seem ideal. Show me Your path & light my way & be my Comforter in this storm. Don’t give up on me & don’t let me give up on myself. You are greater. Your love is infinite. I have hope because of these things. I have hope because I know You care always & always have a plan. Guide me & lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. Help me to praise You in my storm. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Don’t Romanticize the Idea of Giving Up–Determine to Cling to HOPE… Sure, Real, Trustworthy HOPE

Sometimes I romanticize giving up (not suicide at this point, but just to stop trying at life), because it seems so ideal to just no longer care so “it doesn’t have to be hard anymore,” but again, that is a twisted lie from Satan..

So I have to be willing to keep fighting by submitting that romanticized “solution” of mine to God’s feet & saying, “God, giving up seems so appealing because it feels so much easier than continuing to care so much, but I know that is a trap & a lie that will lead to even darker & deeper despair, so remind me to lay aside that fantasy to quit & instead fall into You for help, determining to trust You against ALL ODDS. You are enough. Help me to remember that & cling to that NO MATTER WHAT. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Depression Is HARD… Some Won’t Understand It… But God’s Still Got Me… & That’s the TRUTH

Depression is HARD. It annoys me & everyone else around me who has to deal with me not being “cheery enough” to the socially accepted amount. It annoys me that I annoy others. I feel like a failure of a human some days.

But I don’t want to let satan write the script. I don’t want to believe his lies.

I want freedom, but even if not, I want to remember that God is good & He’s got me & He has a plan to use it for my good & His glory. Always. 100%. Even if I can’t see that now. I know it.

Shine hope by determining, against all odds, to trust that God has you in His hand, will care for & comfort you in the storm, & has a plan always to turn it for your good & His glory. Because THAT is the TRUTH.

Say it with me: “You’re done here, satan.”

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Heritage Earrings (Haiti)

Make a fair-trade fashion statement with these totally unique ethically made earrings from Haiti! These hand-beaded Heritage Earrings are reminiscent of delicate butterfly wings with 14k gold-plated studs, eye-catching black & white oval designs, & cascading fringed ends with maroon & gold-tone accents. Every purchase of these stunning earrings helps provide these Artisans in Haiti with safe jobs, fair wages, educational resources, & counseling.

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Idolizing My Comfort Zones

Now this idea of praying for my daily bread, resting in Him, not the storehouse is something I struggle with for sure. I talk a lot about idolizing my comfort zones, & this topic plays right into that.

How Jesus Says to Pray

When visiting Virginia last summer, I attended Grace Baptist Church, where their pastor discussed “The Lord’s Prayer,” as found in Matthew 6:9-13, an example Jesus gave when the disciples asked Him how they ought to pray. (You can watch that sermon series starting, here. That whole series is well worth the listen, even for those who grew up in the church! The series dates are 6/6/21-7/11/21.)

This “Lord’s Prayer,” as it is offered called, demonstrates humility & a need to rely on God in every detail of life. It emphasizes our need for submission under our Almighty God, while teaching us to rely on Him for all of our needs.

It is easy, especially for those like me, to sometimes breeze through the verses almost by memory, not really stopping to consider the weight & wonder of the words Jesus demonstrates to us in this particular prayer.

Daily Bread

One such example of a notion I had always breezed past is found in verse 11, “Give us this day our daily bread.”

Now, at first glance, this seems just “merely” a call for turning to God for our provisions & sustenance, but taking a deeper look, we notice the word “daily.”

This request was not a “give us a storehouse on which we may rely,” but rather a, “help us to daily recognize that our provisions are truly & only from You, God.”

Well, oftentimes I want the storehouse. What about you?

My Daily Bread-Rest in Him, Not the Storehouse

Sure, I know I ought to ask God for my provisions & needs, but what I really want is for Him to provide me a comfortable amount so I have no need to hope on Him for it again every single day.

And when I am required to ask daily, I begin to lose hope versus growing in trust, because when I pray that, I am really wanting Him to place the control back into my hands so I don’t feel as much a need for Him so constantly.

Shame on me.

When Pastor Tim Perrin talked on this topic, (a pastor who I respect a great deal for his sermons that both stir the heart with conviction for a change toward holiness, while also emphasizing that the work can only be done by relying on & leaning into the Holy Spirit for help), I for sure felt that tug of conviction—my true heart was exposed.

Is God Your Backup? Or Your Master?

I like relying on me first & God second… as my backup, if you will… when really, I shouldn’t even be part of the equation at all… I should have my faith wholly & only on Him.

This prayer for daily bread also reveals that clinging to the comfort zones that I am so quick to do.

I start to rely on His provisions more than I rely on my Provider.

I rely on His comforts rather than on Him as my Comforter.

I rely on the blessings versus the One Who Blesses.

Again, shame on me.

Do I treat God more like my backup, my side-kick? Or as the Almighty God, Master & Creator of the Universe, LORD of my life?

You Can Probably See Where My Heart Is At

When you follow along with my blog posts, you can most likely see the patterns emerge over time.

The seasons where I am full of hope & vigor to strive after holiness is when I am also plugged into Him as my Vine, while I am but a branch nourished by the Vine. (John 15:5) God calls this “abiding in Him,” relying on Him for wisdom & direction, peace & strength, comfort & enabling me to follow His lead. We do this by praying for everything & submitting to His Word as Truth, walking obediently in His Truth, with His help.

On the other hand, the seasons where you sense the turmoil & stress & resistance in me are most likely when I am relying more on me… more on the storehouse of provisions versus the Provider.

Guess which season I am leaning more into lately?

I Need Him

My heart is convicted. I need more of Him. More praise to Him. More prayers to Him. More reliance on Him. More obedience to Him. More of HIM.

Less of ME.

It is human nature to look out for ourselves: our wants, desires, needs.

But it takes practice to rely on Him for those things & to trust Him to even weed out some of those things as His wisdom & love leads Him to do.

My dependence should be on what HE says I need & relying on HIM to provide it… versus ME.

Making my life about His glory versus mine & my comfort levels.

Because He is worth it. Every time. One hundred percent. Always.

Shine HOPE by trading your reliance on the storehouse for a reliance on your DAILY bread from HIM instead, trusting His love & provision more than what you can control or see on any given day.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Impressions Cosmetics Bag

Carry your cosmetics in style in this spacious, block-printed floral bag with zipper closure. Artisans in India blend ancient Artisan traditions with modern function to handcraft this beautifully practical Impressions Cosmetic Bag with a waterproof nylon interior. Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in India!

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

In Everything… Praise Him

Something God has been nudging me about ever since this last September, is the need to intentionally & regularly praise Him.

As I mentioned back around that time (see that post, here), this initial nudge seemed insensitive at best & uncaring or mean at worst. I was facing a trauma I had never before experienced, & when I cried (literally cried) out to God for help facing the hurt, His gentle response was my need to praise Him.

You can possibly see why this response was not so easily received by my heart. I needed comfort & healing from Him, & yet, His response was to offer Him praise?

But, in my stubborn hard-hearted misunderstanding response, I kept praying for help… & His steady response remained the same: I NEED to praise Him.

His Call to Praise Him Expresses His Love for Me?

I came to understand why this call to praise Him was the MOST loving solution He could have offered me. If I turn my eyes from the turmoil tearing apart my heart & intentionally fix my eyes on all of His goodness, mercy, grace, love, power, & the HOPE He offers us… well, that trauma didn’t seem so end-of-the-world painful anymore… & the comfort did indeed begin to replace my fear & hurt.

His call to praise Him was a loving call, because He knew I needed to shift my perspective from the trauma to HIM.

So, this journey, this CALL to praise did not end there. It has been echoed repeatedly in my heart ever since. “Michelle, you NEED to praise Him.”

He Keeps Calling Me

I feel tired. Moving is hard & I don’t need to tell that to anyone who has experienced it before. The goodbyes, the letting go of belongings for an easier move, the lasts, & the heading into the unknowns… all of it is hard. Not to mention all of the logistics & juggling a life where all of your routines, habits, etc. have just been tossed in the air to land as they may.

Life becomes a mess of upheaval during a move. Nothing is where you left it because everything has been moved. You don’t have a home to go to after all the long travels. Plus, adding logistics for moving with a pet during a time when most airlines no longer fly pets internationally.

It’s stressful!

All of the emotions that come along with the stress just make it a hard time.

And you know what? This call to praise Him keeps echoing along the way.

I Grew Up Singing, So Why Does This Feel So Difficult?

I grew up in choir. I was in choir in elementary school, then in youth choir at church, to choirs all along the way as we have moved since I got married in 2012.

In fact, choir life has been so engrained in me, that my middle sis & I used to sing all the way home after practice each week—turning nursery rhymes into Broadway-worthy renditions (okay, maybe that’s being a BIT generous—but we would dramatize any nursery rhymes by belting them out dramatically, with dramatic hand gestures & choreography of course).

I love singing. It just lifts me out of the moment & just floods my heart with joy to escape the present situation or circumstances. I even sing to my cat sometimes….

But somehow, I feel devoid of song. I feel numb-ish. I feel stubborn & selfish & clinging to comforts more often than I cling to God.

The Danger of Relying on Comforts to Ease You… Over Turning to God

The red flags are there… I have grown colder recently… withdrawing into temporary comforts versus turning to God for help in every little thing… Relying more on what He has blessed me with than on Him.

And because of this, I have grown ungrateful. I am easily irritated. I get frustrated when things don’t work out the way I visualized. I complain. I mope. I withdraw. And I can feel Satan coupling that with my struggle with depression, threatening to pull me under by the weight of it.

But I know the warning signs now. I’ve been through this before. I see his tricks. I am not falling for it. Not this time.

And God continues to gently nudge: “Michelle, you need to praise Me.”

I NEED to Praise Him

Praise is non-negotiable. And it’s not something we ought to reserve for celebrations.

Our hearts NEED to be REGULARLY re-calibrated to set our focus on HIM. We NEED this.

I know. I need to kick satan right in the jaw by intentionally & regularly turning my eyes from ME-centered to GOD-centered, & not just fixing my eyes on Him, but PRAISING Him come rain or shine!

Praise God!

I need to get back to praising God—even (& ESPECIALLY) when I don’t feel like it!

I need to get back to praising God—INTENTIONALLY & on purpose–Regularly!

My heart is bleeding. I am wounded by the stressors. I am weak.

And if I don’t fix my eyes on Him in PRAISE, satan will not hesitate to twist all of that into a whirlwind of defeated despair through the aid of my predisposition for depression.

I need to praise God.

You need to praise God.

Give Thanks to the Lord, for He Is Good! His Love Endures Forever! (Psalm 118:1)

We need to be intentional on lifting up praise to Him, thanking Him for His salvation through Jesus, for paying our debt & being our Way to God, despite our sin.

We need to thank Him for His many blessings, even & especially in the midst of really hard times.

We need to humble our hearts & lift Him up instead.

We need to fix our eyes on Jesus.

In EVERYTHING, Praise the Lord!

So, if you are down… If you feel beaten up… If you feel little (or big) stressors wearing you down… If someone you know is irking your nerves… If you’ve been hurt or are struggling with trauma… if you’re stressed beyond sanity….

If you are happy, overjoyed, & everything seems to be going your way…

If you are ____________________…

PRAISE HIM.

Intentionally… Regularly… Even when you least feel like it… PRAISE HIM.

Shine HOPE by praising God from whom all blessings flow! Maker of Heaven & Earth! Eternal, All-Knowing, All-Powerful, REDEEMER!

PRAISE HIM!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Daisy Anklet (Thailand)

Add a touch of summer to your ankle with this feminine & fun, stretch-to-fit Daisy Anklet from Thailand. Handcrafted with delicate, muted blue, matte glass beads, each anklet features three white & gold, hand-beaded daisy flowers. Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Thailand!

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Parenting Is No Easy Task

Parenting is hard work. It comes with many blessings, for sure, but it cannot be denied that it takes intentional effort & investment into the lives of the littles in your care.

I may not seem qualified at all to talk about parenting, having no children of my own, but I do know that as a fellow human, even without the extra challenges of motherhood, life is hard sometimes & I need God’s help.

Even knowing I need His help, I so often struggle doing life on my own without seeking God’s help right away, & I often see mothers struggle the same way… getting exhausted & losing their cool, sinking in stress, not considering the role God must have in the parenting journey.

I don’t know about you, but it’s much easier for me to react to situations versus prayerfully respond, & I can guess with fair certainty that if I were a mother, that would not immediately change.

God Is with You… Be Still & Know That HE Is GOD

So, I am here to remind you that you don’t have to do it alone.

Even if you have a spouse who doesn’t help out or a father who is out of the picture… even if friends & family don’t come around you… you don’t have to do it alone.

Even on nights where tears of frustration &/or exhaustion are your only companion… you don’t have to do it alone.

Even when the nerves are shot & nothing seems to work & “it’s just the way it is” & it’s the last straw… you don’t have to do it alone….

There IS hope.

Our Struggle Does Not Define Us or Our Lives… God Is Able

Consider my depression. If I am not careful, it becomes my identity, much like mothers who assume the identity of a tired, frayed, can’t-handle-it mom. Our struggles can begin to cling on to our lives like a label of reality we can’t escape.

But God is GOD. He is ALMIGHTY. He is ALL-WISE, ALL-KNOWLEDGEABLE, & ALL-POWERFUL… AND, to top it all off, His actions, His very being is defined by His LOVE.

He can move in the impossible. He can work solutions that weren’t even considered. He can make things happen where there seems no hope &/or no solution.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to be able to control every action or behavior. You don’t have to live feeling like a failure.

You have HIM.

Surrender Your Parenting to Him

Surrender ‘those’ days & ‘those’ nights to Him.

Surrender that stress to Him.

Surrender your anxiety & frustrations to Him.

Surrender the “it’s just the way it is” thoughts to Him.

Surrender your parenting to Him.

“HOW?!?” …You may ask….

Pray. Talk to Him about it. Lay it down at His feet, opening up your heart & admitting your struggle & need for Him. Admit to Him & to yourself that where you can’t, He can. Where you see no way, He makes a way.

Bow Your Needs to HIM As Your GOD

Ask Him continually & daily in prayers somewhat like this:

“God, I can’t do this. I feel like a terrible Mom right now. I can’t do anything right. I try to teach them & they don’t listen. Chores never end. I am tired & stressed & just feel like a failure! But You are GOD. I am not, but You ARE. Help me. Give me Your peace that goes beyond understanding. Teach me. Grow me. Help me to honor You in how I respond to this. Help me know HOW to respond to this & empower me to do it right! I react but I want to prayerfully respond in a way that honors You, trusting You to help me in it. Help me learn how to do that. Help me parent. Help me surrender my parenting to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

A Prayer for the Supermom, Too

Maybe you don’t feel stressed with your kids. Maybe you feel capable & strong & like you know what you’re doing. Let me give you another call—surrender that to Him, too.

What seems wise to us is often foolishness to God. It seems right in our own eyes, but we don’t see the whole picture. Only God does. So surrender that capableness to Him, too.

“God, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on this parenting thing, but I want You running the show. I want You guiding my words & my actions & the lessons I teach—not human wisdom… YOURS. Help humble me & allow me to listen for Your guidance over my own. Help me to slow down & bow to Your leading. Thank You for Your patience with me & that You always know best, even when I think I do. Thank You that I can always trust You. Help me trust in that better & to lead with You as my guide… not me. In Jesus’ name, I pray, AMEN.”

The Importance of Intentionally Surrendered Parenting

Some days will be hard. Some days it will feel easier to just not be intentional… to just take a break from trying. Some days you will feel like supermom.

But every day, you ought to surrender your parenting to Him.

Shine HOPE by determining to INVEST moment-by-moment into Your children, raising them up in the way they should go… BY & THROUGH prayer & a surrender to Him in it ALL.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Green Tea & Jasmine Soap Bar

Make every day a spa day for someone you love or make this month a little sweeter & treat yourself to the refreshing natural floral scent & cleansing benefits of our Green Tea & Jasmine Soap Bar from India. Made with essential oils of Green Tea & Jasmine blended with moisturizing natural coconut oil, olive oil, & shea butter, this luxurious soap will delight your senses!

In India, many women in traditional communities still struggle to overcome centuries of gender discrimination. Women are often discouraged from working outside the home. Women with disabilities are often further marginalized by society, making it even more difficult for them to find dignified work & making them even more vulnerable to exploitation by sweatshops. But through your purchase, these artisans are given opportunities to overcome these obstacles & succeed!

How You Can Help the Artisans:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Are We Bearing Consequences We Could Have Avoided If We Had Sought God First?

Have you ever considered the consequences of seemingly inconsequential decisions to just act as most do on something versus stopping to ask God first?

Maybe your decision or solution is simply that of what generations of people have always done in that situation–like going to the doctor when you’re sick… maybe it just seems logical & reasonable like seeking an ally in battle… maybe it doesn’t seem any serious offense like pride, arrogance, or rebellion against God.

That’s how it typically goes for me anyway. I don’t think of it as being prideful or distrusting of God–I’m just acting on what I know to do from past experiences or the advice of those before me.

I don’t think of it as pride to go to the doctor when I am sick. I don’t think of it as turning my back on God when I ask for a friend’s help in crisis. It’s just what what one typically does in those situations.

My Hope Is in the LORD! … Do I Act Like It?

But then this little verse in 2 Chronicles 16 just has to throw a wrench into everything I believe to be reasonable.

“Because you have relied on the king of Syria, & have not relied on the Lord your God, therefore the army of the king of Syria has escaped from your hand.” (2 Chronicles 16:7)

Now. I don’t believe God’s intent with this statement was to throw a temper tantrum of rage, but rather to say, “I could have helped you, but you didn’t even ask me… you went somewhere else for help instead, & because of that decision, you won’t get the help you so desperately sought from other sources.”

God is our hope. Not just our SOURCE of hope… He IS our hope.

He wants us to come to Him as our solution, as our top priority, as our first inclination right off the start.

He knows He can help us & He wants us to know it & seek Him for it as well.

Accepting Sin or Accepting God’s Help for Change?

This also rings true in regard to our sinful habits, ones we think are “just who we are.” Sure, if we act on that assumption (that it’s “just the way we are”), rather than trusting God’s way as best & Him as our help, we won’t find anything else to be true, as we rot from the inside out because of our sin patterns that He passionately wants to help free us from.

But, if we stop to think that although, from our very core, we feel our gut instinct inescapably true, that maybe just maybe the God who created the universe might just MIGHT know better & we stop to ask for HIS way & will & help knowing HOW…. We’ll find the solution we seek in Him.

He Needs to be My First Go-To

God alone knows everything & God alone knows every solution, so why is my gut instinct not to go to God first for everything?

Before I search online for answers.

Before I ask a friend for their thoughts.

Before I ask my parents for advice.

Before I go to a doctor or any professional for help.

Before anything, my first instinct ought to be to seek God’s help, wisdom, & direction.

God Knows What I Cannot See

Maybe He knows I will be ripped off by the person I am inclined to seek help from… maybe they won’t have the skill needed to detect &/or prevent an impending health concern… maybe they are just best-guessing based on previous evidences…?

But God? He only does for my good. He knows exactly who I need to go to. He doesn’t have to guess. EVER.

So why is He not my first go-to for help?

How many times has my life been negatively affected because I did exactly what King Asa of Judah did in 2 Chronicles 16 in going to someone or something else before or instead of going to God?

WAIT on the LORD

Those verses to “wait on the Lord” (Psalm 27:14)… to acknowledge Him [as GOD] in all I do (Proverbs 3:5-6)… to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17)… to be still & know that He is God (Psalm 46:10)…

They all beckon me to not just pray as an extra measure or as a last resort, but to sit in prayer, to sit in it & wait on Him, knowing I can go elsewhere, but with HIM, I can be certain… that I ought to wait on Him.

I think a big reason I do everything else before consulting Him is the wait. I see a need & think it must be solved now. My gut instinct is not to see a need & WAIT, even knowing a wait for God is more effective than a quick maybe solution.

God has perfect timing & even His wait is because He knows the circumstances that need to line up just so & that rushing it will not allow for that.

Maybe He guides to go to the hospital, but He doesn’t tell you right away because the doctor who will know & see the real cause/need isn’t working the day you ask God for help & God waits so you see the right doctor… we don’t know.

But we can know that HE knows. And He alone KNOWS—even the TIMING... Even when the wait is frustrating &/or scary.

Trust Him in the wait.

Shame on Me

Shame on me for thinking any other person, even a professional, could trump an all-knowing, all-wise, all-powerful GOD ALMIGHTY.

Shame on me for just jumping to fix it myself as if He doesn’t know better & have perfect timing in all He does.

Shame on me for making myself higher than Him in my heart, as the authority in those decisions–even those decisions not to wait.

My Prayer

“God, I know You get it. You know I am so limited in understanding just how powerful & great You are. I know You are patient & long-suffering. But please forgive me for thinking I might be able to fix it sooner/better than You-for making You lower than You are. I’m sorry for making myself god over seeking You first. Please forgive my pride & foolishness. Please forgive me & help prompt my heart when I am doing it so I remember, ‘oh yeah, pray first.. let GOD.’ Help me change my patterns to stop & consult You before anyone else. Help me recognize that You offer Your wisdom to those who ask & keep asking (not asking a lot to “activate” it, but asking a lot as in a determination to KEEP trusting You even when it doesn’t happen when I think it should). You alone are God. You alone know. Please forgive me & help me grow in awareness & humility… & help me change this bad & prideful habit. In Jesus’ loving & powerful name, Amen.”

“Because You Sought ______ Versus Me….”

Is God your go-to? Is He the One you instantly think to go to first?

Is He the first One you trust to have the answer? Even in timing that isn’t your own? –the ONLY One you trust to have the perfect, RIGHT answer? Even above professionals?

Or is He supplemental or a last resort?

How do you treat the need for the help of God? Is it an “ABSOLUTELY” or a “sometimes”?

Take a moment to take stock of those times & lay them before Him in humble repentance, asking for His forgiveness that He is always so quick to give. And ask for His help to humbly do better at seeking Him first in ALL things.

Remember King Asa & Seek the LORD

Remember 2 Chronicles 16 next time you are faced with an opportunity to see a doctor or seek help in some other way. Will you seek your hope in Him? Or will you pay the consequences of missing out on His wisdom, direction, & aid as told in 2 Chronicles 16?

Will you choose to trust Him, or will it be said, “Because you sought ________________, versus Me…”?

Shine HOPE by making Him your first choice & your first instinctive go-to when you need anything in life, big or small. Because He alone KNOWS.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

–> Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week! <–

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves.

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase these studs & empower a woman in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Back to the Tropical

Much to our surprise, my husband & I will be moving again this Summer—back to Guam.

People keep asking me how I feel about it, & the best answer I can give them is, “I go back & forth.” Now don’t get me wrong, Guam is a beautiful & magical place to visit, but my personal experience living there wasn’t entirely positive.

Part of my experience there had to do with the demanding work schedule my husband was on, where he was gone so much I felt mostly alone on the opposite side of the world. Another part was that most people our age were so busy that they didn’t have much space for us in their lives—not at all their fault—just the way it was back then.

I felt pretty alone there. And the idea of going back sort of makes me feel like I had finally beat a really hard level in a video game only to have the game glitch & make me replay the level.

A Rough Time Re-Visited?

Maybe these reasons seem silly &/or lame to you, but for someone who didn’t grow up military, lived near family her whole life, had long-time friends, to move to the other side of the globe, with an opposite time zone & no smart phones at the time… it was pretty rough.

When my husband first announced his happening upon this new job, I honestly just felt dread. Anxiety swished around in my brain & I felt overwhelmed & anxious. I didn’t want to re-live the rough time I had there before.

Journal My Thoughts, Face My Fears, & PRAY…

Normally, when anxious thoughts swirl around in a whirlwind of thoughts, I have found that taking out a journal & listing them all out really helps me to face the source of my fears, naming them versus faceless swirls of anxiety.

So, I did just that. I got out a journal, & began just pouring out the anxieties on my heart so I could face each one & let God dispel the fear & encourage my heart to pray over the different things that worried my heart so much.

But, as I did so, most items on that list were things that perceivably just won’t be changing any time soon… & the more I wrote…. The more I thought & prayed over the points on that list… the more anxious I became. So much for that idea!

Rejoice in Affliction??

And I cried. I felt bitter & frustrated & resistant toward the whole situation, wondering why our planned “2 more years in Japan & then back to the states” idea had to change so suddenly.

And as I cried & prayed… God whispered over my heart the words “rejoice in affliction.” (Romans 5:3-5)

That was not at ALL what I wanted to hear from God. How in the world, when I am feeling such turmoil of emotions, am I supposed to have JOY & REJOICE in AFFLICTION?!

My Attitude Check

At first, I was just like, “well, thanks for nothing,” but reluctantly, eventually I apologized to God for my initial bratty response, & asked Him, “God, okay. I’m sorry. You know best… better than me… but how am I supposed to have JOY in affliction? HOW can I REJOICE in affliction? I don’t even see how that can be possible for me so how am I supposed to do it? Please show me & teach me how because it feels impossible to me right now. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Guess what His whispered-over-my-heart response to my prayer was? Two words: “Even if….”

Will I… Even in the ”Even If”?

Even if. Will I choose to praise Him even if He DOESN’T answer me the way I want… even IF He doesn’t wrap up all the details with a pretty bow for me… even IF He doesn’t make it easy for me first…?

Will I praise Him even if…? Will I trust Him even if…? Will I follow His lead even if…?

Maybe you’re thinking, “well, of course you submitted & said sorry & everything got fixed….”

Except, my response went more like: “I’m going to need a few days to think about it.”

I Wanted Everything Wrapped Up in a Pretty Bow for Me

Over the next few days, I was determined I wouldn’t let it go. I was frustrated. I didn’t want an EVEN IF situation! I wanted a solution, a fix, a pretty wrapped-up-in-a-bow deal.

But that wasn’t God’s answer to me. His answer to me remained that two word question: “even if?”

And so began the cycle of crying in frustration upon being reminded of His response, apologizing for being so resistant to Him, to asking for His help AGAIN with the whole “joy in affliction” thing.

They Didn’t Wait for the Fire to be Put Out First

As I prayed, God reminded me of Shadrach, Meshach, & Abednego, how, when they were told to dishonor God or else be thrown into a fiery furnace (to the death), they chose to honor God no matter the cost. (Read the full story in Daniel 3.)

And they didn’t know God was going to rescue them. They didn’t know the “one who is like the Son of God” would meet them in the furnace & keep them from even SMELLING like smoke.

And even before knowing any of that would happen, these mens’ response was: “EVEN IF!”

They didn’t wait for God to put out the flames first.

Their response was: “EVEN IF!”

He Has It Under Control & He Has a Plan… Even If

How convicting. How humbling. How not-at-all-what-I-wanted-to-hear.

It hasn’t been easy for me moving forward with this move, but just in being willing to hear Him out & seek His help in the “even if” & the “joy in affliction” parts, I have seen Him grow in me a peace… not an eveything-is-going-to-work-out-the-way-you-want-anyway peace… but an “Okay God, I get it. Even if. You have it under control & You have a plan… even if.”

Life doesn’t always go the way I plan (big surprise there, huh?) & doesn’t always even go the way I want (anyone else?)… but God has a plan in it, so I can rest in that.

I’m a Work in Progress

I’m still a work-in-progress, but I can trust my anxieties & fears & unmet expectations to an all-knowing, all-powerful, LOVING God.

“So, God, here I am. I’m sorry I am not jumping to trust you in the no-matter-what’s of life, but thank You for being patient, gentle, & long-suffering with me & with all of us. I don’t deserve You, but I am so grateful that I can lean on You when life doesn’t go my way. You have a plan. You are enough. You have it under control. You are loving… even in the “even if….”

Shine HOPE by asking Him to help you know HOW you to even have joy in affliction & how to trust & follow Him, even in the “EVEN IF….”

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.

A Note from Michelle:

This blog/website has been running for over 4 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Infinity Earrings

These pure silver infinity hoop earrings with a subtle hammered-metal finish are handcrafted in Guatemala & are designed to coordinate with many of your other favorite styles from our Living Tapestry Collection. Each earring features a pure silver charm at the top of each infinity hoop that’s embossed with the fingerprint of the woman who made it!

—>Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Guatemala.<—

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue supporting them as well as continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

God Is Able… So Why Do I Resist His Help?

First of all, we all know, deep down or otherwise that God is capable of it all. He is infinite in His power, wisdom, & resources… so when I determine to respond to life in my own power & fall short in that while refusing His help, that is my sin fleshed out in my pride.

God’s been convicting my heart of this fact over the last few years—that when I refuse His help even for healing trauma/hurts—it’s actually sin.

Sometimes it’s easier to not ask for God’s help. Even when I hate the pain, I sometimes hate the idea of “letting someone get away with something by moving on” even more, or I find comfort in feeling justified to not let something go… & I sometimes even begin to wrap my identity around it, thinking, “Well, I’m just not the type of person to _______.”

I resist His help because I oftentimes think I am handling things “just fine” or “as well as can be expected.”

Hurts… Well… HURT

We all have hurts, whether it’s scars from bullying at school that we sort of subconsciously internalize in the back of our minds as adults, or whether they are hurtful words someone we care about once said recklessly that we now rehearse whenever an event triggers those hurts, or whether we make choices based on survival mode in reaction to something wrong or painful done to us or that we were subjected to.

And when all those types of things happen, it is only natural for me to develop a trigger response to help protect me from getting hurt again, disappointing others, embarrassing myself further, feeling like I don’t fit, or whatever the fear may be for that particular circumstance.

Hurts hurt & when they do… I do what I know to protect myself from further hurt.

The Natural Response Versus the Response with God’s Help

And it feels natural, these responses, because they are my natural defense mechanisms, often subconscious even… I am not consciously aware of & choosing to do it my way over God’s or anything like that… my brain just comes up with whatever feels like the best safety protocol & does it without much thought on my end.

This same sort of defense mechanism that we all employ in one way or another, doesn’t feel sinful or rebellious.

And, in some cases, in a way—it isn’t… It’s what we do with them that matters.

When We Learn God’s Way, We Have to Make a Choice Regarding Our Natural Response Versus His Help for His Way

But then, we learn God’s Truth about a matter. I hear Him say not to hold bitterness or whatnot & then I have a choice to make at that point—do I continue just reacting in my natural response to the situation?

Or do I take God’s commands/Truth & submit my response to His help & healing?

That’s where the sin generally becomes solid sin in those situations, because while I didn’t mean to be sinful in feeling bitter about a situation—it was just my natural, gut response to the pain trigger—once I hear from Him that I shouldn’t be bitter & that He is able to heal the brokenhearted, I have to choose to let Him… to do things HIS way over my gut reaction way.

I Often Choose Wrongly

So, how does that look in reality?

Typically, whatever my gut response is happens first, out of habit.

Then, I feel His nudge & a reminder of His Word about how I ought to handle it.

And then, I usually fight it, feeling justified in how I feel I want to react about it.

And eventually, I realize my way just seems to make me more miserable & I desperately ask God to help me see a different way… to help me do things HIS way, even if that may seem impossible to me in that particular circumstance.

My Triggered Response Often Becomes Mingled with My Identity As “Someone Who Just _____”

Sometimes my trigger responses become part of my identity & it seems impossible to change because “I am just that way,” or “that’s just how my heart handles that type of thing,” or, “that’s just what I’ve found helps me.”

It becomes so engrained in my gut response that it seems inseparable from ME. I begin to identify as a person who does whatever it is in that type of situation.

So, coming across God’s Word about whatever such things, can sometimes feel like a personal attack against me—like I can’t be ME… like I have to be FAKE to please God… like my NATURAL response or feeling is WRONG–& it is, because it’s led by my human flesh versus the wisdom of God.

But my identity is not in how I have subconsciously trained myself to deal with whatever trigger or trauma may present itself… it is in trusting God to know better than I do & that He can handle it better than I can–if I let Him help me His way.

I Need to Let Him Decide Because He Never Gets It Wrong

When God makes me aware of a poor way of handling something or of the fact that I am forming my identity around something that doesn’t actually need to define me, I feel attacked because it throws into question everything I think I know about myself & how to handle hurts.

And when what I know seems under attack… my comfort zone… that is usually where the rebellion & refusal to admit a need for change happens—the sin of it—because my pride tells me “that’s just who I am & I can’t help it,” while God says I shouldn’t determine what I should be, but rather let Him decide instead.

Our Benevolent King of Kings

But God always & only wants our good. Everything He does & commands centers around His love & goodness toward all of us. He is a very benevolent, almighty King—it may not always be the easy or comfortable choice—but it is most definitely always for our good.

I shouldn’t question or doubt Him. I shouldn’t rebel & make my refusal to accept His help turn into a sinful response.

I SHOULD just OBEY Him.

It’s not easy for me, I admit. I want to vet everything He asks of me, checking it out before I obey—pride is the root of every sin we commit, because it essentially says we think we know better.

I need to be willing to take my gut response, my “identity” that I have established, my trauma triggers, etc. & be WILLING TO SUBMIT THEM TO HIM.

A Prayer of Repentance & for Help with a Willingness to Accept His Help:

“God, please forgive me. I’m sorry that I cling to “my identity” or the “it’s just who I am” thoughts versus trusting You 100% ALWAYS know better than me. Help me submit those reactions to You. Help me not wrap my identity around anything besides what You created in me—Your Truth versus how I feel it ought to be. Please forgive me for refusing Your help sometimes & going on my gut versus Your limitless wisdom. Help me to better submit to Your help. Help me be more aware of when I need to make that choice. Help me choose to trust You to help me & to be willing to BE helped versus staying in my “understandable” bitterness or other wrong choices. You know best. Always. Help me to better trust that & to better submit to Your will, Your way, Your help, & Your healing. I love You. In Jesus’ name, I pray: AMEN.”

Ask Him for the HOW & for the HELP to Do It

So, if you feel trapped by a sin that “you can’t help or control,” when God says to do otherwise… don’t refuse His help.

Ask Him to help you see HOW to change & to walk you through it, trusting His will over your own.

Don’t let Satan deceive you into thinking you have to be that way, knowing that it’s God who can take your brokenness & make you whole.

Shine HOPE by letting God in & letting Him help you through whatever it may be.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Darling Charms Set

This set of six pairs of versatile & colorful ethically collected bone, clay, & metal charms are handcrafted in India by Artisans who are committed to fighting child marriage & providing opportunities for women to become financially independent as fair-trade Artisans. Designed to mix & match, create a new look each time you wear them with our Customizable Gold Hoops (shown) or your favorite bracelets & necklaces!

Every purchase supports vulnerable women in areas of extreme poverty in India.

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Is This Fair?

“For whoever shall keep the whole law, & yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.” (James 2:10)

I used to think this verse seemed unfair… that I could get it all right & yet make one mistake & it’s as if I committed every sin there is. I used to think it was an overly dramatic & ruthless response to one sin. I used to think it illogical—that, if this were so, what’s the point in trying to avoid other sins if one makes you guilty of them all anyway?

But all of that was really just indicative of the fact that I didn’t really understand what sin was in the first place.

The root of sin is the same for every sin—thinking we know better than or trying to put ourselves above God.

Sin Shows Where We Trust Ourselves or Our Desires… Over God

When we crave something God tells us to avoid, & we give into that craving… we are trusting our desire over God’s wisdom.

When we act out of a gut, knee-jerk reaction, where God tells us to turn to Him for help in it instead… we are trusting our feelings over God’s wisdom.

When we go to or do something God tells us to avoid… we are trusting our logic & reasoning over God’s wisdom.

When we avoid something God tells us to do… we are trusting our fear & insecurities over God’s wisdom.

Why Is It That One Sin Equals All?

So, why is it that one sin equals all? Because anything we do that is considered sin stems from a subconscious (or outright) belief that maybe we know better than God or see something He doesn’t or need something He can’t handle or provide.

No matter how small or infrequent our sin may seem to us… every occurrence reveals an area where we think we may know better than God Himself.

This is why, even though one sin is as if I did them all, I should avoid just doing them all, even if I committed one sin already. Because I need to be moving in the direction of MORE trust in God, versus LESS.

God Is Both Loving AND Forgiving–He Made a Way Where There Is No Way

And this Truth of one sin being as if I committed them all does not make God unkind or unforgiving, but quite the opposite because even if one sin equals doing them all—we can’t save ourselves anyway! AND, JESUS offers His payment on our behalf to ANYONE who accepts it.

So, when God tells us in James 2:10 that one sin is as if committing them all, He is revealing to us the true nature of sin—putting ourselves above Him in one way or another–& THAT is why even the “littlest” sin is such a terrible thing… but, JESUS.

Take That “Little” Sin to Jesus

So, if there is a sin you are justifying because it feels secret or little or easily justifiable because of the circumstances… recognize that that one “little” sin is the same as doing them all… Recognize that that one “little” sin hurts God (& you) just as much as them all.

–> And repent. Admit it to God & admit you need His forgiveness for it–& ask Him for that forgiveness! <–

Work to not allow ANY sin to be excused away in your life, but strive to live a life that is wholly pleasing to God, honoring Him in all things… WITH HIS HELP.

And shine HOPE by not excusing away that “one little sin.”

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Long Chain Necklace (India)

Love long chain necklaces? This is the necklace for you! This silver-tone link-chain design is handcrafted in India & is totally on-trend! Wear alone, double up, or layer together with other chain necklaces from our One World Collection, like our Long Chain Necklace – Gold. Every purchase provides fair trade jobs in areas of extreme poverty in India.

In India, poverty often leads to exploitation of vulnerable Artisans in sweatshops. Every purchase provides these Artisans with fair wages, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members.

Purchase this necklace & empower an Artisan in India!

How You Can Help:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!