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Michelle Hyde Online - Helping Women Find Hope & Shine Like They Were Always Meant To
Home
My Blog
About Me
Resources & Recommendations
Hope Is Found
Connect With Me
  • Home
  • My Blog
  • About Me
  • Resources & Recommendations
  • Hope Is Found
  • Connect With Me
God in Our Suffering, God-Centered Perspective Shifts, Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory, Prayer

The Year of Many Withouts

May 29, 2023by Michelle HydeNo Comments

The Life I Take for Granted

Growing up in middle class America, it’s hard for me to imagine a life any different than having reliable clean water, power, roof over my head, flushing toilets, soft carpets under my feet, warm air in winters & cool air in summers.

It’s easy to take all of those things for granted when you have always had them. You just assume that you always will have them. They become your comfort zone of security without even realizing it at times.

But then you lose air conditioning in your car in the middle of the hottest part of summer & you get a glimpse, just a glimpse, of what life is like for so many others on a day-to-day basis.

How spoiled I am that I don’t think it absolutely necessary to be praising God every moment for these things I so easily take for granted every day, for struggling to come up with something to be grateful for in the midst of the hardships of life–He has allowed me to have so much!

But What About That…?!

I think about the Israelites. They were SLAVES in Egypt & God came in & miraculously & awesomely displayed His glory, strength, & power (& LOVE) to rescue them out of that slavery that they cried out about so desperately for HOPE.

God came. He rescued them MIGHTILY (Exodus 6:6; book of Exodus). AND, He walked with them EVERY step, making His presence KNOWN to them very clearly & unmistakably with a pillar of fire by night & a pillar of cloud by day leading them all the way (Exodus 13:21-22). He supplied food every day. (Exodus 16) He gave them water, sometimes straight out of a rock miraculously if none was readily available where they were in the desert (Exodus 17:1-7; . He even made sure their shoes didn’t wear down & their clothes stayed intact through their seemingly endless trek through desert wilderness (Deuteronomy 29:5).

God PROVIDED.

And what did they do? They dreamed of a “better” life back in Egypt—as SLAVES.

In other words, they focused SO intently on what they DIDN’T have, that they could no longer even see, care about, or appreciate ALL they DID have.

Isn’t that me? God provides SO MUCH & all I can think of is… “but what about THAT?!” Shame on me. Shame on me. It’s so human of me, but it doesn’t make it right.

The Year of Many Withouts

This past year has been the year of many WITHOUTS.

When God asked us to uproot our lives to move back to Guam last summer, it was not an easy act of obedience for me.

Moving back to Guam meant leaving behind the best place/situation we had lived in since moving overseas. It meant being without the comfort of church family that felt truly like family, of the adventure of living in Japan (but with the comforts of an American base nearby), of healing from the hurts of my past 7 years of intense stress & isolation.

Easy pet flights no longer existed to Guam from Japan after covid. We were riding on a technicality, unsure until we arrived in Hawaii whether or not our cat’s transport would even truly be approved once we got there. We were on our way, everything riding on a CHANCE, without any assurances ahead of time to count on.

The Withouts Didn’t Stop

Then we got here & it was a seller’s market for a home & our budget couldn’t compete. We went about 3 months without a home of our own, living out of a suitcase.

Then we switched to a temporary living situation where it was covered in mold & had no hot water. So, we lived without clean air for almost 2 months & had to shower with cold water.

When we finally moved into our house, it was a flip undone, so we lived without internet for a while until the wiring was set up. We lived without an oven for about a month until we could switch the outlet. We lived without being able to wash our clothes at home for months until we could get an electrician to fix things for that to work, too. We lived without ready-to-live-in comfort & were met instead with project upon project.

And Then… A Super Typhoon Hits Us on Wednesday, May 24, 2023

And now, a typhoon has pretty much devastated our island. And we’ve been without power (A/C, lights, refrigerator, washing machine/dryer, oven, ability to charge anything, relief from heat, cool water to refresh, etc.) or running water (flushable toilets (without added water), showers, ability to wash anything, etc.) in our home. We’re without readily accessible gasoline (I waited in line for 2+ hours & now the lines are worse). We’re without a way to even leave the island. We’re without assurances of when life will resume any semblance of normalcy.

All of the lush, beautiful jungle plants are bare or stripped & tossed ways away.

They Had to Rely on God to Provide… And So Do We

And you know what? It is SO EASY to think like the Israelites.

They couldn’t go shop for what they needed because there was nowhere to go out in the wilderness. They had to rely on God to provide.

They couldn’t just go out for some food or water because they were out in the wilderness. They had to rely on God to provide.

They couldn’t protect themselves against the Egyptians who chased them down. They had to rely on God to provide.

They couldn’t rely on comforts because they had so few of them. They had to rely on God to provide.

And it’s uncomfortable. It’s hard. It’s NOT FUN.

But God does provide.

God Doesn’t Always Provide How We Want, But He Knows What We NEED–HIM

God does provide.

Maybe not with giving me the hot water I want… but in teaching me how to work around it or adjust to it. (I, who ONLY hot showered, grew to surprisingly appreciate cold showers through time that because of how refreshing it was—the initial cold jolt is uncomfortable, but then it just feels invigorating & rejuvenating.)

Maybe not in giving me a mold-free home… but in protecting me through it.

Maybe not in providing a ready-to-live-in home… but in teaching me to take stewardship of our home more to heart, seeing the sweat & tears we ourselves put into it over the years & looking back seeing all God helped us accomplish through it.

Maybe not in giving US power & running water, but in giving our friend power instead, using our lack to encourage us to go stay with her, so we could share & encourage each other through a very dark time when we would otherwise be going through the aftermath separately on our own.

God doesn’t always provide how I want Him to. And that’s a good thing.

Every decision He makes, in His all-seeing, all-knowing WISDOM is ALWAYS for our good AND His glory.

ALWAYS.

A False Security Versus Trusting God

I was blown away, after years of hearing sermons about the hardships the Israelites went through, how God led & protected, & all their endless grumbling & complaining… to learn of this little verse: “Yet the Lord says, “During the forty years that I led you through the wilderness, your clothes did not wear out, nor did the sandals on your feet.” (Deuteronomy 29:5)

I mean, they never had to worry about how to provide their family with clothes or shoes or food or water because God just PROVIDED for them. But they still grumbled CONSTANTLY. They wanted to feel the “security” of being able to “provide for themselves” aka the ILLUSION that any of it is really from themselves in the first place.

When God allows things to be taken away… He also erases the illusion that ANY of it is of ourselves rather than it all really being from HIM.

When God allows things to be taken away… He also shows you He is MORE THAN SUFFICIENT even in your greatest WITHOUTS.

Trusting God Isn’t Easy, But It Is Always Worth It

It doesn’t mean it will be easy. It doesn’t mean it will be comfortable.

But it does mean He will provide if we trust Him to handle it rather than trying to take over or just plain give up without giving Him the chance.

It may not be in the hot water, but that you HAVE water.

It may not be in the power, but in the friendship connections going without encourages.

It may not be in things working out smoothly, but in seeing that God can make anything happen regardless.

It may not be in the material comforts, but that HE IS OUR COMFORT.

God Had a Plan in a Disaster We Didn’t Even See Coming

Going through this typhoon was hard. It was really, REALLY hard.

God protected us. He led us to this house & confirmed this house for us—despite our not understanding WHY—and because we were trusting HIM over ourselves on where to live… & He knew this typhoon was coming… how bad it would be… & that this house would stand.

God PROTECTED us because we trusted HIS lead in where to live, even when it made no sense to us.

How ungrateful & unwise I am to ever question our GREAT GOD.

Praise God, From Whom All Blessings Flow!

Thank You, God, for making a way for us to come to Guam WITH CISCO when there seemed to be no way. Thank You for just plowing us through when we couldn’t have any assurances. Thank You for knowing I needed to come back here, to see how you could grow something that hurt me to something that heals me… to let me see how nothing is beyond Your reach to grow & mature. Thank You for a second chance. Thank You that You know what You’re doing & You determine to do it for my good & for Your glory, even when I protest, doubt, & complain… because You love me enough to determine to keep moving me forward to the goodness I don’t see on the other side of it. Thank You that I can trust You even when I’m not sure I know how. Thank You that You always provide for my best, even when it doesn’t always look like it to me in the moment. Thank You for protecting us & our home & Cisco & our friends in this great storm that devastated so much here. Thank You that You heard our cries to You & lessened the winds from CAT-5 180mph to CAT-4 140mph winds just as it passed over Guam & then back to CAT-5 as it left. You PROTECTED us! Thank You! Thank You for reminding me, sometimes even against my will, to PRAISE You in all of this aftermath & the trauma. Sometimes I thought I would go literally crazy in the oppressive heat & I BEGGED for the power to come back on & You didn’t do it… but You brought us to a friend who could share not only in that, but in the reprieve of living through the trauma of uncertainties & destruction in the aftermath with a friend. Thank You that You are so greatly to be praised. Thank You for pushing me to praise You so my heart could let go & fall into Your arms of rest & comfort versus tension & panic. Thank You for reminding me that You got so mad at the Israelites all those years in the wilderness NOT because they kept struggling through all the hardships, but because they complained & grumbled RATHER THAN trusting they could come to You with their struggles & trust You to help them through it. Thank You for reminding me to turn my angst, worry, hurt, stress, etc. to prayer, crying out to You as my help IN IT. Not giving up or giving in to despair, but trusting You can be my supply despite the odds or likelihood because YOU ARE GOD. Thank You. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.

Shine Hope by determining to keep crying out to God in your need, even when no relief seems even possible… & by determining to PRAISE Him even when the world looks like it is falling apart all around you. PRAISE HIM.

God Is Deserving of My Trust!

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” (Psalm 20:7)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
    and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.” (Psalm 46:1-3)

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8) (“The grass is always greener on the side you’re watering.” -author unknown) There will always be good & there will always be hard… which will you let control your thoughts?

“Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His loved endures forever.” (Psalm 118–all of it is so good!)

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

“Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, Who gave Himself for our sins to rescue us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to Whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” (Galatians 1:3-5)

Last Note on Trauma…

Living through one of Guam’s top 2 worst typhoons, despite our house surviving, really left me shell-shocked. If I am at my house & the sun is going down & I can’t find my phone, I actually feel real panic because it’s sometimes my only light source because my house has gone 6 days without power now & it’s also my only connection to family & friends when the world goes dark at night. When my battery gets low, I feel a strong need to search a power source soon. When it gets hot & humid, I get flashbacks to feeling trapped in our oven of a house with no relief because no cool water to drink or breeze or shower or anything. When my gas ticks lower, I remember that 2+ hour line & feel desperate to conserve or refill.

It is strange how much a natural disaster kicks in your fight or flight survival instincts even when things are getting safer again. It’s trauma. It logically doesn’t make any sense & yet it is.

Be patient & gracious & prayerful with people who have gone through a natural disaster. It’s no joke. Some moments I feel rays of hope shining in me & the next moment I am choking down a sob or fear just smacks me in the face because of a memory or a trigger from the actual storm or thinking about the devastating aftermath that hits me out of nowhere.

Even if they’re technically “okay” again, they may not be okay… & that is okay. Give them space to feel safe again & for the trauma to heal. Consider how economic crashes where food rations were very real then cause whole generations to be strict about not throwing out food EVER. It takes a toll on you going through something devastating like that & that’s just how it is sometimes.

Give space for healing & give grace—even if it doesn’t make any sense to you because you know they’re okay NOW—it may not make sense to them either & yet it is. Give grace & pray for healing.

It’s okay to not be okay. Cry out to God as your help & determine to praise Him no matter what.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Block Print Tote (India)

Trades of Hope, Block Print Tote, India, The Year of Many Withouts
(Shown: Block Print Tote, handmade in India. Every purchase empowers women out of poverty in India!)

This artisanal Block Print Tote from India is a true work of art! Using a traditional Artisanal process where blocks are carved into intricate designs, they stamped the block with pigment before applying to the fabric like a stamp. This tote features a block-printed flower, a Chrysanthemum, and is oversized, making it perfect for trips to the grocery store or local markets.

***Every purchase helps a mom in India send her children to school.***

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

God in Our Suffering, God-Centered Perspective Shifts, Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory, Prayer

Shine for Him on the Ugly Days, Too

April 10, 2023by Michelle Hyde2 Comments
Shine for Him on the Ugly Days, Too

BLEH

I don’t want to write today. My hip is hurting & no matter which chair I try–nothing feels good sitting down.

I’m also feeling a complete mind blank. I keep trying to start typing & then my mind just goes NOPE.

Plus, the numbing & physical ANGST I am experiencing from not immediately just running to addictive coping mechanisms is a STRUGGLE. No one ever said re-routing to better help would be easy, but I know it will be 100% worth it to find my rest in Him versus a constant marathon of trying to outrun my depression symptoms for the rest of my life.

And every morning lately is a struggle. I think I’m just not sleeping soundly, or not getting enough sleep. And while I AM sleeping lately (thank You, God, for SLEEP!), I still feel like I wake up every morning groggy & squeezing my eyes shut in an “ALREADY?!” type of frustrated, defeated cry from my heart, wishing my alarm clock was lying & I still had a couple hours left to squeeze out more sleep.

The Good, the Bad, & the UGLY

And right now, lounging on the couch, trying very uncomfortably to type this way (cue aching wrists soon) because my hip hurts ANY way I sit down… well, I just want to sigh & say, “Well, I tried” & close my computer screen & be DONE.

Why write today? What’s the point? How can I encourage & build up anyone up with this kind of attitude? And pain? When I care more about quitting?

And I get it. You may be thinking, “off days happen, Michelle. Cut yourself some slack, we understand.” And if you thought that, I THANK you for having that kind of grace.

But God has made it clear when I started this blog journey that He desired for me to show up on the good AND off days.

Consistent But NOT Fake? How?

You know what one of my delay reasons was before I launched my website? I didn’t want to be fake. And if I wasn’t going to be fake, how could I be consistent? The two seemed to contradict each other.

It’s sort of like working in customer service when you do anything ministry related. You feel this PRESSURE to always be ON for everyone… & if not, to fake it… to plaster on a big smile & say, “everything is great!” even on days when you feel anything but.

Part of it is pride &/or fear: “they may question my faith if I don’t show up with a smile & a ready answer to okay away my struggle.”

Part of it is maybe pressure to represent God well: “I don’t want them to think God isn’t enough!”

Be ready with a smile. Always. No matter what. That’s the feeling sometimes.

Pastors & their wives no doubt often get this pressure more than most anyone else. Pray for them & be kind & supportive where you can! It can be lonely (I have many friends who are pastors/pastor’s wives).

As Always, Pray

So, if God impresses upon me to be consistent, but also be authentic… the two seemed to clash significantly. How can I do both well? Lord knows my attitude isn’t always great… that I have to surrender my mornings an embarrassing amount of times in order to even BEGIN to feel ready to honor Him versus begrudging my entire day simply for keeping me away from more sleep.

And so, I literally began asking Him that very question as He was leading my heart about this website launch over 5 years ago. “God, I get it… I feel like You want me to do this. But how? You know my awful attitude some days. My depression symptoms? My fleshly pull to do what I want more some days? How in the world can I do this blog, be consistent, AND not become this smiley, always “ON” fake? That alone would depress me, feeling like I have to be a fake to everyone in order to keep it up EACH week. But if I’m real, some days I just don’t care or don’t feel like it AT ALL. How do I have both??? No, I wouldn’t make it. I would have to quit because it would be too much pressure… no one can be “on” 24/7 & not begin to struggle internally A LOT. What do You want from me? How do I do it? Please show me.”

It’s Not About Me Anyway!

His answer quite frankly caught me off guard. That it’s not about me showing up & proving I have it all together because “Christians are a step above the rest” (we’re not… we’re just human like everyone else) “because we have Jesus” (as if that means we never make mistakes or choose wrongly… it doesn’t).

No.

That it’s about showing up, no matter what state my heart is in that day, even if I’m a wretched, self-absorbed, self-centered grump… or even if I’m a weak, vulnerable, “falling apart at the seams” blob… to point to HIM in it ALL as MY HOPE.

To echo: “I am NOT PERFECT, but HE IS!”

To echo: “I SIN, but HE DOES NOT!”

To echo: “I am HUMAN, but HE IS GOD!”

To echo: “I am WEAK, but HE IS STRONG!”

To echo: “I am NOT worthy of praise or attention or glory, but HE IS WORTHY!”

Basically… it’s not about me anyway!

He Compels Me… He Leads Me… & He Works through Me WHEN I am WILLING to Submit My Insufficiencies & Failures for His All-Sufficiency & GLORY!

And so, even on UGLY days, when I would really rather just quit… Or hide my weakling self… Or cover up my less-than-attractive qualities… I will shout them from the rooftops. I will be real about it. I will show up even on my worst days when all I honestly want to do is complain & quit… & I will forever point to HIM as my only HOPE… as YOUR only hope.

That I NEED Him… EVERY day!

Guys, I am not deserving of any praise from you. Do you know how often I want to choose ME?

But, GOD.

He compels me. He leads me. He is sufficient for me.

And He is for you, too.

Despite & through Your Faults… NEVER to Excuse Them

I’m not saying all of this to be like, “Be YOU,” as if to excuse your bad attitudes or mine… those need to be repented of, to ask forgiveness of God for them… surrendered to Him.

But that even in your not great moments when you make the WRONG choice… sometimes ON PURPOSE… that you take ownership of that mistake, repent of it, & don’t hide it as if that somehow makes God look “better.”

No, show the world. Show the world your very real NEED of Him… of His daily GRACE.

Show the world that you’re not strong, that you choose wrongly sometimes… but that His grace is there to greet you the MOMENT you come to Him in humble repentance.

Show the world that you are NOT enough… but that HE IS.

Be real. Be honest. Be a display that no matter how WRETCHED we are found to be in our sin… no matter how WEAK we are in our flesh… GOD IS STRONG… GOD IS GRACE… GOD IS LOVE!

Don’t wait until you’re perfect to serve Him & to seek His glory. Because you never will be. You’re not Jesus.

Shine for Him on the Ugly Days, Too

Shine for Him on the ugly days, too. Bow the imperfections & bad attitudes to Him & ask Him to help you see how YOU can give Him glory JUST WHERE YOU ARE.

Because, to be honest… the reason we exist… is to GIVE GOD GLORY.

So, do that. Right where you are… even when you’re FAR less than perfect… like me today.

Shine HOPE by letting Him have your ALL—Even the bad parts. And by using those bad parts as opportunities to shine God’s GRACE, POWER, & LOVE to a world that needs Him so desperately much!

Shine HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

“Walter” the Bunny (Vietnam)

Trades of Hope, Walter the Bunny, Vietnam, Shine for Him on the Ugly Days, Too
(Shown: Walter the Bunny, hand-crocheted by women in Vietnam. Every purchase empowers women in Vietnam out of poverty! Also, see his “best friend” Mabel!)

LIMITED EDITION – while supplies last! Cuddly, soft, and lovable, Walter the Bunny is charming, mini, fair-trade fun with his handsome blue bowtie and carrot accessory. Each bunny comes with an adorable carrot that is not attached to the bunny making it perfect for creative play! Artisans in Vietnam hand crochet each bunny with soft cotton-blend yarn and neutral gray, black, and blue colors that make this stuffed animal the perfect gift for any occasion or decor. Each huggable bunny is hand stuffed by visually impaired women in areas of extreme poverty.

Have you met Walter’s best friend, Mabel the Bunny? They make quite the pair! Every purchase of Walter or Mabel the Bunny provides fair-trade jobs for local women and villagers who are overcoming disabilities, homelessness, and extreme poverty in Vietnam.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Flushing Bad Habits, God-Centered Perspective Shifts, Intentional Growth, Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory

In a Culture Often Led by How Something Makes You Feel, Do What’s Right Anyway

March 6, 2023by Michelle Hyde2 Comments

The Idol of Comfort-Seeking

I get it. I am basically the queen of wanting to avoid things that make me uncomfortable. It’s one of my biggest idols—comfort-seeking.

You may see my blog posts & social media encouragement & think, “yeah, but you still get stuff done, so how can you really say you relate?” But if you knew how much inner fight went on behind the scenes some weeks, you would get it. My heart craves comfort-seeking.

In a social media world especially, it’s easy to make life about the feel-good moments & the aesthetics. Frame it well, include some pretty florals, & use the right font & I am more likely to want to try whatever it is. Put it in black & white, in a boring font, & yeah, no thanks.

Reframing Your Perspective Is Actually a Good Thing!

It’s not wrong to try to reframe a situation in a more positive light… for example, if you use a planner, having gold foil accents & florals make it more appealing to use it… or in thinking about chores, changing your mindset from seeing it as grueling housework that you have to do versus something you GET to do to help make your home more comfortable & a safe space to come home to.

Nothing is wrong with re-framing our mindset about responsibilities, but the problem sprouts up when we refuse to do it if we can’t find a way to make it seem pretty or appealing. When we can’t find a way to make it make us feel good.

In a culture primarily led by how something makes them feel, we ought to do what’s right, even when we don’t feel like it.

Legitimate Struggle, But Not Worth Giving Up–Because God Is Bigger Still

I struggle with depression & probably anxiety. Now, this isn’t the type of depression that is feeling depressed & woe is me (although, when left unchecked, it can surely go there) & it is not the type of anxiety where I am constantly worrying about every outcome & everything around me, but rather they are manifested more in feeling physically & mentally tired, worn out, sluggish, checked out, numb, restless, & angsty… making it easy to want to seek out whatever feels better versus adding to the already existing strain.

It’s a legitimate issue… a legitimate struggle. It’s not trying to be lazy, but rather not feeling you have anything left to give anything else.

But, responsibilities still exist & as they pile up unchecked, so do the anxieties & stressors–typically making things worse. And God is always waiting to help as we cry out to Him for help. He wants us to live for Him & He also has the full, inexhaustible supply to help us make it happen.

It Always Leads Back to Surrender

It comes back to surrender… surprise, surprise… a willingness to lay down how I FEEL for what is right, even when I don’t feel like it. But thank GOD He doesn’t leave it up to my willpower or strength! He supplies as I cry out to Him AS my help!

This applies to showing up & doing my blog every week, even when I really don’t feel like concentrating or working some weeks.

It means not wasting away my afternoons when I get home from work, introverted me tired from being around people all morning, but rather surrendering & asking God instead to help take my hand & lead me step by step through my required tasks for the day, even when I would really rather just play video games or binge on a tv show the entire day.

It means doing the hard things, even when they don’t make me feel good.

It means being a PART of the body at church, serving in some capacity, even when some days I just don’t want to be around any other humans because I am TIRED.

But it also means recognizing when God is saying I just need rest, but not taking that to mean rest ONLY, ALWAYS. It always leads back to surrender to His lead & His help.

In a Culture Often Led by How Something Makes You Feel, Do What’s Right Anyway

What would the world look like if EVERYONE ONLY did what made them feel good?

You know what, being a janitor is dirty work… & because it is, I try to remember to thank them respectfully every time I see them working past me, even using sir or ma’am, because I want them to be honored for doing something most of us wouldn’t feel good doing, but I am SO grateful that they do it! If you are a sanitary worker, THANK YOU!

Imagine a world where we all only got the jobs that made us feel good… no janitors, no one to shovel poop on the farm, no one to care for the sick & dying…. It would become a pretty ugly world pretty quickly if we all avoided what didn’t make us feel good.

But don’t we often avoid taking extra time we don’t feel we have (& because it doesn’t always feel good) to serve God or honor Him by studying His Word, or taking intentional personal time with Him every day when we’re busy or worn out? Or is it just me?

What is the world around you missing out on in seeing Jesus through you because it doesn’t always make you feel good to honor Him all the time? Surrender.

I am Not the Shining Example I Ought to Be

I know I am pretty convicted by this. I am certainly not writing this week as a shining example of what ought to be done… unfortunately.

This is something I need to lay down every day, but I honestly sometimes don’t.

It’s something I need to surrender… to be willing to surrender to Him for help.

I have been asking for prayers lately for God to help me rebuild my life after our move because I have a REALLY hard time starting over & setting new routines & productive habits… after the craziness dust settles after a move, I easily fall into “oh phew! Now I need a BREAK!” & then I just never want to come out of that break because I have no good habits built up to fill in the blank spaces yet.

But alongside my prayers for a rebuilt life, I realized that my true need is a willingness to give up that break… (again, surrender) to ALLOW God to replace some of it with productive, healthy habits versus just existing through my day into the next one.

What are you avoiding for this very same reason–because it doesn’t make you feel good or give you a happy high in your day? That’s MY struggle.

Even When I am Weak, He Is Strong

Through my chronic sleeplessness lately (which I am grateful to say seems to have passed), God taught me how much of a Supply He could be if I were but willing to surrender to His help rather than giving up when I was so weak & tired & so prone to crankiness. He taught me that even with an against-my-will lacking, He was enough for me through it….

So, if I lost sleep on purpose (versus setting my morning alarm for the last possible second) to start each morning spending time in Bible study so I could begin my day purposefully focusing on Him versus just numb go-through-the-motions, that He would for sure be enough for me there as well.

He is helping me rebuild… to honor Him better with my time & choices… because I am willing to lay down my coveting of time-my-way for time HIS way… but I am still in need of more work with it FOR SURE & it is taking a DAILY surrender in this area.

What Are You Willing to Surrender, Even If It Doesn’t FEEL Good?

This week, I had a 5-day weekend, & I committed to fast from television, video games, mindless video scrolling online, & mindless swipe games… to work on making a commitment to better use my time. I’m going to need to keep working on it because my progress felt so incredibly sluggish because I am so reluctant… but I want to keep learning to bow that to Him so that when I look back a year from now, I can see & know I spent my time well & not wasted.

What do you need to give up that you are clinging to other than God as your help? What are you avoiding because it doesn’t make you feel good? What are you saying “no” to God about because it doesn’t seem appealing?

Shine HOPE by being willing to do what’s right, even when you don’t feel like it… with God’s help & a willingness to surrender to that help!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Leather Leaf Earrings (Haiti)

Trades of Hope, Leather Leaf Earrings, Haiti, In a Culture Often Led by How Something Makes You Feel, Do What's Right Anyway
(Shown: Leather Leaf Earrings, hand-crafted in Haiti! Every purchase empowers women in Haiti out of poverty.)

These totally unique brown and ivory Leather Leaf Earrings made by women leading their families out of poverty in Haiti! Inspired by the natural beauty of the changing seasons, these genuine leather statement earrings are hand cut and accented with ivory glass beads and 14k gold-plated fishhook-style ear wires.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

God in Our Suffering, God-Centered Perspective Shifts, Handling Doubts, Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory, Salvation & Grace

How You Can Have Impossible Peace

February 20, 2023by Michelle Hyde1 Comment
How You Can Have Impossible Peace

An “Impossible” Peace

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Have you ever stopped to consider what it really means to have peace that goes beyond your understanding?

I have talked on this before, but as I am learning more about daily, moment-by-moment surrender to God, to include my very grumpy mornings as of late, this concept of impossible peace has become a comforting, non-understandable companion of mine. And I want you to see how you can have it, too.

Many a Sleepless Night

You see, it has been a long time since I have slept well. And, while many have conjectured the reasons, whether it be hormonal or anxiety or whatever else, there really isn’t any clear explanation at all as to why I am not sleeping much.

It’s always different. I feel no anxiety or worries floating around in my head. I’m not thinking about anything at all & in fact, constantly feel in a state of “I’m about to drift off” but sometimes never actually do. The reason for my lack of sleep is never consistent.

There’s the stray dogs that gather outside our bedroom window & decide to join as a chaotic choir of shrill, loud barks in the middle of the night at random times. There’s my husband’s leg that jerks along with his dreams some nights as he sleeps. There’s the inconsolable itches in my nose or a clog I can’t seem to adequately clear or a tickle in my throat that threatens to explode into a barrage of loud, wake-the-husband coughs that I strain to contain. Sometimes it’s a fold in the sheets under my leg that my brain fixates on with hypersensitivity, like I am embodying the princess & the pea. And in the course of one single night, sometimes it is ALL OF THE ABOVE.

It has been rough. I’m not going to lie to you about that.

The Hard Hasn’t Stopped… But…

Some nights, after HOURS of “almost there, almost about to drift into deep, blissful sleep” moments where I am jerked awake by any one of those things I mentioned above… after hours of being so sleepy, so relaxed, so on the edge of slumber, but unsuccessful… well, sometimes I resort to silent screaming into my pillow, whimpering pathetically as quietly as I can, or just giving up altogether & just getting up.

In fact, after resorting to all three of those a few nights ago, I eventually sat down at my dining room table at around 4am, put my elbows on the table, put my face in my palms, & I just sat there & sobbed for about 20-30 minutes.

Frustration. Exhaustion. Maddening countless failed attempts to sleep. It was all too much. And this, mind you, is after MONTHS of this happening several times a week, if not more.

And I have prayed. OH HOW I HAVE PRAYED for it to stop so I could JUST SLEEP.

But no relief comes. But….

Does God Really Care? Even When It Stays Hard?

And to be honest with you, when times like this, where troubles just kept coming at me with little to no relief & my prayers seemed to be to no avail, I was really, really tempted & sometimes full-on gave in to doubting that God even cared about me at all.

Shame on me.

But God has been preparing me for this very season through my personally learned lessons of surrender lately. He’s been teaching me that He is enough when I am not even close. That He can be my strength when I am depleted. That He can hold me up & lift me when I feel sunken into the ground in defeat.

He really is enough.

And that’s what I want to urge you to consider. That He is enough, even when it makes absolutely no sense that you can feel you have lost everything & still have everything.

His Peace Seems Impossible When It Is Present on the Darkest of Nights

Impossible peace is not so impossible with God.

It is very much possible… through crying out to Him AS your help in times of trouble.

*Now, there is a pre-requisite, if you will… Knowing & accepting His Son, Jesus, as your Savior from your sin. We all sin. We all deserve Hell. But God offers hope, through Jesus. Do you know Him? (Read more about that in “Have You Met Jesus?” & “Am I Going to Hell?”) Because THAT peace is what your heart really craves above ALL else.*

You see, I used to think that crying out to Him as my help in times of trouble meant that I need to trust Him to fix everything for me so I can just be happy again.

But no. That’s not it.

Praise Him in Every Circumstance

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

“I will praise the Lord at all times.
    I will constantly speak his praises.” (Psalm 34:1)

This peace that goes beyond understanding, this IMPOSSIBLE PEACE, means that EVEN WHEN THE STORMS STILL RAGE… you can have peace through Him.

That is why the disciples could sing praise to God while sitting in prison. (Acts 16:24-25)

That is why God says to praise Him in every circumstance. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

That is why God says to not lean on our own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

How You Can Have Impossible Peace

My physical body is weak. I am tired almost all the time lately. I wake up so many days mad at my alarm, signifying that time is up… no more attempts for sleep tonight….

And I have a lot to surrender lately because of all that.

And I may feel like I am breaking, but I am not broken.

I may feel weak, but He IS my strength when I call out to Him.

My days may start off with an angry, temper-tantrum worthy attitude of frustration, but when I ask God to forgive me for it & I ask Him to be my enough somehow that day… He shows Himself quite enough for me every time.

How can you have impossible peace? Through calling out to Him AS your help.

I don’t like feeling weak. I don’t like feeling like I have to ask for help in the dumbest, littlest ways as if I am completely worthless… but let me tell you what… I like knowing He is enough, always, 100%.

Am I Willing to Surrender This to Him as My Help?

The question I have to ask myself when I am being broken down is this: “Am I willing to surrender this to Him for help? Am I willing to entrust my nothing for His everything? Or am I going to demand to feel I am enough on my own?”

Satan Wants Me Broken… Wants Me to Quit… But God Wants Me to KNOW God Is Enough, Even If

I strongly believe that my lack of sleep is spiritual warfare. If you doubt Satan does stuff like that, just spend some time reading the book in the Bible: Job. (Job) Because there is no clear reason, nor any CONSISTENT reason why I can’t sleep.

I feel like Satan is hating what I am learning about surrender, aka taking my lacking & knowing I can trade that in for God’s everything if I am but willing to surrender to His help versus demand I feel adequate on my own again.

I feel like Satan wants me to throw in the towel & say, “Heck no! This is NOT worth it! I feel tired all the time & it is so HARD & I HATE hard! Forget it! I want it to be easy again! I don’t want to NEED God for even the tiniest things! It’s TOO HARD! I quit!”

But God whispers gently the reminder that each & every time I have chosen surrender on those very hard mornings following bad sleep… that God was faithful… He showed up… He helped me put one foot in front of the other like a constant Companion & Guide… He comforted me in my most uncomfortable moments. That He was very much ENOUGH for me.

I am But Human… Thankfully, God Is MORE

Am I tempted some mornings to listen to Satan & throw in the towel & quit & say, “But I don’t WANT it to be HARD anymore!” Yes. Sadly, yes. I like feeling the lie that I can take care of myself just fine & rely on a restful night sleep after a long day so I can wake up refreshed & ready for the next day, feeling strong. I WANT THAT SO BADLY when struggling to sleep in the middle of the night!

But God has been giving me impossible peace each day when sleep happens to elude me. He has helped me see I can trust Him with more than I thought.

My Excuses… My Fears… Compared to God’s Everything

And He has shown me another very important thing through this hard, sometimes so frustrating journey… that my previous struggle of merely being a light sleeper kept me from thriving because I always chose extra chances for sleep versus taking time with Him every morning before I began each day, worried I wouldn’t sleep enough otherwise.

But now, I barely sleep anyway. And yet… God has shown Himself more than sufficient for me through it….

And if He is sufficient when I get no sleep, how much more so if I am getting less sleep ON PURPOSE because I desire to give Him honor by spending time with Him before I start each day, asking for His help & guiding hand to lead my thoughts & actions.

Satan wants me to stay stuck. To say, “See, you’re never guaranteed sleep… so just set your alarm as late as you can… or don’t set it at all… just in case.”

But if God can prove Himself to be more than sufficient in this season of intense & agonizing sleeplessness, then He can supply for me what I need in order to take some time each morning, intentionally, to spend time honoring Him each morning before I start my day.

No more living in fear of lack of sleep. I’m not getting much these days anyway.

I Can Have Impossible Peace… Even IN the Hard… & SO. CAN. YOU.

Time to surrender even my fear of not getting enough sleep to God & time to start asking Him to give me enough clarity of thought to spend time dedicating my day to Him each morning… even if I don’t get ANY sleep… & even if it means risking less sleep.

Because He really is enough. And He really can supply “impossible” peace… even when it seems, well, impossible… if I am but willing to surrender my need to Him AS my help.

Shine HOPE by not letting Satan call the shots or discourage you away from all the many ways God can stand in the gap for you & be your more than enough… by determining to rely on God’s impossible peace.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Kaia Earrings (Philippines)

Trades of Hope, Kaia Earrings, Philippines, How You Can Have Impossible Peace
(Shown: Hand-crafted in the Philippines, every purchase of these Kaia Earrings empower women in the Philippines out of poverty!)

These elegant eco-friendly earrings feature ethically sourced, sustainable, capiz shells that local families harvest from the bottom of the sea surrounding the Philippine islands. Artisans handcraft these natural capiz shells into blue ombré teardrop shapes and then wrap them in silver-tone metal frames before adding silver-tone fishhook ear wires.

*Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in the Philippines.*

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

God in Our Suffering, God-Centered Perspective Shifts, Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory, Prayer

God Knows & God’s Enough

February 13, 2023by Michelle HydeNo Comments

When Everything Is Just Blank…

I am sitting at my computer just feeling completely blank. I have tried to think of what to say, have started typing several times on topics in the back of my mind… but nothing seems to stick. Nothing seems quite right… & so then it gets deleted.

So, I guess I am just going to start typing & see where God takes it today.

Feeling Tired. Feeling Numb.

My depression is a funny animal. Some days I feel pretty okay, some I thrive… but some days (like today) just feel like I am dragging. Everything feels hard.

It might also have something to do with the consistently choppy sleep I have been getting recently. So part of it is quite possibly just being plain tired. But I feel sort of numb, too, like I just don’t really care about much of anything.

Feeling this way makes it hard to do much of anything. I just want to glaze over & get through the day so I can try again tomorrow… or maybe next week. That’s just me being honest. I know sometimes I sound like a broken record when I have these days & talk about it, but the alternative is plastering on a fake smile & forcing out a cheery tone to make everyone else feel better about me not feeling better… but then I just feel like a fake & like what’s the point?

Quitting Just Makes It Worse

But I also don’t want to waste away my day, letting those feelings of blah win, because honestly, enough of those sorts of days piled up makes me feel defeated & they just seem to compound over time, sparking the feeling that my life is just one big waste. (Not a rabbit hole I want to go down again.)

So, that’s not really an option either.

Then what do I do? I’ve got nothin’. I feel blah. I just want to not bother because bothering just seems an added hard to the already existing hard.

Well, surprise, surprise… I go back to my old friend “Surrender.” And here we go again.

God Knows & God’s Enough

“God, I don’t understand why I’m not sleeping… why everything has to feel so hard so often. I feel like I struggle more than most people & that everyone is probably sick of hearing about it by now… so why do You allow it to keep happening? And why do I have to keep writing about how weak I am? I don’t understand why so many things keep me awake lately. I feel like I took sleep for granted & now I never seem to get enough of it. I feel like I’m drifting. I feel bored with & am numbing to life sometimes lately because everything seems grayscale. I crave color. I want to do great things for You, but then I feel like I am obviously not strong enough for it. I get it… I’m not enough. My humanness glares at me in times like this & it is so uncomfortable. I really hate it sometimes. Maybe that’s why You allow it? So I learn it’s not me I need to be trying to count on anyway, but You? I know I need to be better at that for sure. I’m sorry for craving self-sufficiency, for trying to fix it myself… instead of allowing it to be an opportunity to cry out to You as my help. Please forgive me. I like feeling strong & capable, but please teach me that You really are my Enough. Please be my Enough. Help me to somehow give You glory when all I feel like I want to be is a grumbling, grumpy, give-up quitter. Forgive me for thinking I have to have my strength & control back in order to be something or do anything of value for You. You are Enough. Be my Enough. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”

Am I the Only One Who Feels So Weak So Often?

I don’t know if you ever feel like that? Or if it’s just me?

But boy am I NOT a fan.

But today, & hopefully every day following… I want to force myself to choose surrender & let God take my NOT ENOUGH & make it into something because HE IS ENOUGH.

Shine HOPE by making sure you remember that, too. Amen.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Rosa Bracelet (Guatemala)

Trades of Hope, Rosa Bracelet, Guatemala, God Knows & God's Enough
(Shown: Rosa Bracelet, handcrafted in Guatemala. Every purchase of this bracelet empowers women in Guatemala out of poverty!)

Using traditional Guatemalan beading techniques, Artisans handcraft this feminine and romantic adjustable Rosa Bracelet to create a beautiful chain of petite purple diamonds with silver accents. Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Guatemala.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory, Salvation & Grace

He’s Worth Showing Up For

January 23, 2023by Michelle Hyde2 Comments

Feeling So Bleh

I am currently sitting at my kitchen/dining room table, surrounded by mess everywhere–on the table, on the floor, & everywhere else within eyesight (& beyond). We are at the point in our move-in process where most everything is unpacked, but not everything has a space yet. Coming from a larger space into a smaller one (with no outside storage) has presented us with the challenge of getting creative with our space &/or figuring out what to purge. Couple that with the fact that most every storage space in our home was left incomplete, it’s quite the endeavor (hence the mess).

Well, not sure about you, but I don’t always work well with chaotic mess surrounding me. It makes my mind too distracted to focus. I feel overwhelmed & anxious & just want to tune it out & avoid it. In other words… I definitely don’t want to be productive, even with my blog.

Then, here I am with another bad night of sleep last night & an impending cold I feel creeping in on me….

I basically just feel bleh. Cozy blanket & cozy pajamas & a cozy bed of sleep is all I want to think about right now. I love being here & having the honor of hopefully encouraging you each week, but some days I am just not in the mood because all I want to think about is ME & being more comfortable.

Just. Show. Up.

But, God made it clear when I began this blog journey over 4 years ago that despite my level of motivation, excitement, or good/bad attitude, He wanted me to show up & be consistent with this space… to be genuine, to show & share my weaknesses, & to just show up for Him… to demonstrate that He is enough in my lacking & worth it in my bad attitude about it.

I think I often make the mistake that if I feel I am not good enough for a task or don’t feel I have the right attitude or a strong enough will to do it… it’s best saved for another time or for someone else… but I’m not here because I have all the answers & handle every situation in a way that makes God “proud” of me, or because I am always chipper & ready to work… I’m here because even when I feel inadequate, fail, & just feel plain stubborn & whiney… He is worth showing up for.

He asks me to JUST. SHOW. UP. Warts & all.

It’s Not About ME

And not only is He worth showing up for, but this whole thing isn’t about showing you, “Hey, listen up everyone! I want you to see what a GOOOD Christian I am by doing this super “Christian-y” thing of writing this blog!” Ha. No.

It’s about saying, “Hey, I have flaws, too. I have days where my attitude is THE WORST. I have days where I think to myself, ‘I just don’t care because I want to just do absolutely nothing today instead. But God? He doesn’t mess up or have bad attitude days. He ALWAYS shows up & is present & ready to be our help, our strength, our joy, & our wisdom. I am weak… & that’s why I need Him. YOU are weak (sorry, not sorry)… & that’s why I show up… to point you ever to our constant source of HOPE–HIM (& to remind myself the same).”

I don’t have a great attitude right now. It’s not the worst, but it’s also not the best. I’m tired. I want to neglect this ‘showing up’ & just do nothing today. I want to choose comfort. That’s my true heart… my fleshly, comfort-idolizing heart.

But… God is worth showing up for… even at my not-so-great… even at my worst.

He’s Worth Showing Up For

So, yeah… God… He’s worth showing up for… even on my off days.

He made me, knit me together. (Psalm 139:13-16)

He loves me so much He sent Jesus to pay MY debt to Him so I would have a chance to be reconciled & forgiven. (John 3:15-17)

He sustains me & guides me & comforts me when all hope feels lost. (Psalm 142:5; Proverbs 3:5-6; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

He is my light in my days of darkness. (Psalm 119:105)

He is my comfort when I cry out to Him when anxieties mount against me. (Psalm 94:19)

He guides me & directs me as I seek His wisdom. (Proverbs 3:5-6; James 1:5)

He cares so much about me & is so patient & faithful & gentle & forgiving & kind. (1 John 4:8; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

I don’t deserve Him & yet He keeps giving & forgiving.

He’s worth showing up for.

Just Show Up… & Surrender to His Help Every Step

Let Him be your enough, too. Choose true joy, by living a life of surrender to Him—surrender to His strength, His forgiveness, His guidance, His comfort, His GRACE, His LOVE.

Shine HOPE by taking your NOT ENOUGH & showing up anyway, determined to cling to Him & honor Him & live a life to please Him by & through His help EVERY step of the way.

Because He’s worth showing up for.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Elise Bracelet (Peru)

Elise Bracelet, Trades of Hope, Peru, He's Worth Showing Up For
(Shown: Elise Bracelet, hand-crafted in Peru. Every purchase empowers women in Peru out of poverty.)

Interlocking silver links create an intricately woven metal rope that forms the exquisite Elise Bracelet. Peruvian Artisans weave links together to create a rope-like design, truly creating a work of art. The Elise Bracelet is handcrafted in Peru in a workshop committed to empowering the next generation with traditional Artisanal skills training. Every purchase provides safe jobs with fair wages for women in areas of extreme poverty in Peru.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

God in Our Suffering, God-Centered Perspective Shifts, Handling Doubts, Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory, Prayer, Salvation & Grace

How to Hope in God When All Feels Hopeless

January 16, 2023by Michelle HydeNo Comments

Surrendering to Hope

If you have ever faced tragedy, this is a question that could possibly have crossed your mind: “How am I supposed to hope in God when all feels hopeless?”

Lately, I have been talking a lot about the topic of surrender. (You can read those, here: “Surrender to God When His Plan Contradicts Yours” & “True Joy Comes in Living a Life of Surrender”). Well, this topic is really no different, but I want to share an encouragement with you to start off this conversation.

Let’s Start with Some Encouragement

Just like I mentioned last week, when I surrender to God on any given occasion, I am not numbing myself from what I want (to keep myself from hating God). Nor am I just tossing it to the wind as if to say, “Fine, whatever. I guess I don’t get what I want then,” hoping against all hope that maybe God will someday “change His mind.”

It’s not a surrender to the numbing. It’s not a surrender to the whatever happens, fine.

It’s an ENTRUSTING to an Almighty God who loves you so much that even knowing you wronged Him, knowing you could never do enough to “even the scales,” & knowing you could never hope to be good enough to earn reconciliation with God because of your fleshly sin nature… He made a way possible for that by sending Jesus, Who WILLINGLY paid your debt for you so you could receive forgiveness & reconciliation to God if you but put your faith & hope in HIM.

And it is no different when tragedy comes crashing through your life like a devastating tornado of destruction, ripping apart your hopes & dreams & everything you love… When everything turns hopeless.

How to Hope in God When All Feels Hopeless?

So, I ask again. HOW can you hope in God when all feels hopeless?

It’s a valid question from the perspective of human flesh. We can’t see what He sees. We can’t KNOW what He knows. And to us, to me (sometimes too often), it feels incomprehensible that a God who gave SO MUCH to express His love for me, through Jesus, could ever do anything or ALLOW anything that could crush me so deeply.

But He does. He does allow it sometimes.

And yet… He is still GOOD.

How can that be?

Obedience Breeds Trust

I have been down that path many times. Struggling with depression throughout most of my life, I have gone down some pretty dark paths & questioned this very thing many, many times before.

Do you happen to remember a post I did last year maybe? About how we ought to “Want to Trust God? Obey Him”? How I incorrectly tried to seek how I can trust God better SO I can obey Him better? How I thought that seemed a righteous goal to pursue, but later, God helped me to understand the distrust & the selfishness it displayed because it was a sort of “vetting process” where I wanted to know I believed God & understood everything to my comfort level before I would be willing to obey Him? I wanted the control.

How the Truth of it is that Trust is actually bred OUT OF obedience, because it is ONLY through a taking of God at His Word—before I have vetted it—& obeying first, that I can actually step back & see, “WOW, that made NO sense to me, but I did it because He said to & it actually WORKED!!”

I Have Asked Those Questions

The same is true in the midst of tragedy & devastation.

It is in those moments we often most want to scream for a way to trust God somehow, some way to get through this & when it stays hard & it doesn’t get better, we want to scream AT Him. We want to pull away in bitter hurt. We want to turn our back & give Him the silent treatment because our prayers seem to be falling on deaf ears & the more we pray, the more silence we feel in return, & the fear becomes, “if I ask one more time without relief from Him, I am afraid of what that will do to my faith or how I would end up dishonoring God with my anger, so I will just stop asking because I can’t handle more of it.”

Anyone else? Just me?

I have been through those dark days. I have craved an end to my life. I have been in a place that my deepest anger was the fact that I was too afraid of hurting others by ending my life because I wanted to just end it already. End the pain. End the struggle. End the hopeless, crushing weight that I carried.

I have been there. I have asked those questions. I have wondered how to hope in God when all feels hopeless.

Back to Surrender

And back again to surrender… to the entrusting… to the obeying first to build the trust we crave… where all the pieces slide into place….

How can you hope in God when all feels hopeless?

By determining to trust in God & His goodness & His love & His sacrifice for you–even when all hope feels lost.

You may not feel it. You may feel hopeless. But DETERMINE to cling to TRUTH, even when you feel it just can’t be.

Entrust the pain & circumstance to Him… to His goodness.

A Desperate Prayer of Surrender… to HOPE

Be willing to drop to your knees & say, “God, I get it. I live in a world FULL of sin because we all have sin. And as a result, I know that sin causes pains & hurts to plague this world.. But this pain is TOO MUCH. I can’t bear it. I’m too weak. I’m crumbling beneath the weight of this. I CAN’T HOLD IT ANYMORE! Help me. Please. I know, deep down, somehow some way… that You ARE Good. I don’t see it right now. All I see is my painful circumstances. But somehow… I know it’s true even if I can’t see it right now. Help me cling to You, Father. My grip is weak. PLEASE help me hold on. BE my strength. I don’t have enough. I need You. Please be my help. Be my shelter in this storm. Be my enough. Hold me. Help me to keep crying out to You & be my comfort through this valley of death & darkness. ‘Lord, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod & Your staff, they comfort me.’ (Psalm 23:4) Remind me that ‘You go with me & You never leave me, nor forsake me.’ (Deuteronomy 31:6) Keep my eyes on You as the storm rages on & don’t let me be swept away in it. Be my anchor. Be my steady, firm ground. Help me to praise You still, even when all feels lost. With You, there is always hope & I don’t see how that can POSSIBLY be right now, but help me to trust You with it despite all appearances. Help me to be obedient in my hope, even if I am not sure how yet to trust You in this. In Jesus’ wonderful, mighty name, AMEN.”

He Is with You Always, Even to the End of the Age

Don’t give up, dear one. Don’t let satan tear you to shreds through this trial or any to come… even if you have to cry in a whispered breath, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24)

Put on your armor, GOD’S armor, as demonstrated to us in Ephesians 6:10-18.

DETERMINE to cling to the GOODNESS of God, even if you can’t see it right now.

Shine HOPE, by demonstrating hope in God even when all feels hopeless, knowing He is fully worth your entrusting of your worst trial to Him.

It is okay to not be okay. It’s okay to not be enough. That is why we ALL NEED HIM.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Caribbean-Coast-Bracelet (Haiti)

Trades of Hope, CARIBBEAN COAST BRACELET, Haiti, How to Hope in God When All Feels Hopeless
(Shown: CARIBBEAN COAST BRACELET, handcrafted in Haiti. Every purchase empowers women in Haiti out of poverty!)

This ethically made green, turquoise, and light blue bracelet from Haiti features three genuine amazonite stone beads and coordinating glass beads accented with silver-plated accent beads. Designed to coordinate with the Willow Bracelet the naturally varying shades of genuine amazonite stone make each stretch-to-fit Caribbean Coast Bracelet unique! Every purchase provides jobs for women in areas of extreme poverty in Haiti and helps mamas keep their babies out of poverty orphanages.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

God-Centered Perspective Shifts, Handling Doubts, Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory, Prayer

I Don’t Have to be “Good Enough” to be Loved

November 28, 2022by Michelle HydeNo Comments
I Don't Have to be "Good Enough" to be Loved

Don’t Believe the Lies

Have you ever felt pressure to be “good enough” to be loved?

I grew up believing I wasn’t good enough. In my perception, I was too fat, not pretty, & anything good I accomplished seemed to be because someone else helped me get there. I talked too much, was too loud, & had too many emotions. I was too silly or not fun enough, depending on my mood.

Basically, because of those things, I felt like I would never be good enough to be loved.

Not Ever Feeling Good Enough Made Me Always Nervous I Would Lose Friends

This perception of my value translated to how I felt about interactions with both romantic interests & friends alike. I felt like I was the ugly fat friend who was a complete joke to most everyone else around me, trying my best to be funny or something to hold some value in different friend groups, to hopefully distract from the many bad qualities I felt I possessed.

When I tried to “dress cute,” I felt like a clown trying to look cool but failing miserably–giving people “reason” to laugh at me.

If you haven’t read my old post: “Trusting God, Losing Friends, & Finding Myself”, it also talks about how this led me to become the class flirt, hoping I could earn some attention that way… but that didn’t end up quite as positive as I had hoped & the constant act felt like if I slipped up at any point & let my guard down (aka was myself & not the image I felt others wanted to see), then my friendships would just fade away & leave me a friendless loner.

A New Kind of Pressure–Church & Social Media Culture

But this post today isn’t about my past or my insecurities growing up.

Though I have grown older & God has helped me overcome many of those fears & hurts of my past, growing in me a deeper confidence in who He made me to be & letting that be enough, I have noticed a different kind of pressure emerging around me.

Both church culture & social media culture have grown to have some damaging effects of its own. Now, I am not saying that these are evil or anything as shocking or generalized as that, but rather as a warning to be sure that we break these trends or at least don’t succumb to them.

Church Culture Can Often Become Pressure of Perceived Perfection

In church culture, the pressure can become almost palpable to be the perfect, smiling, shining example we ought to be of a perfect Christian woman… hiding our faults & our sin temptations & our struggles… our hurts, our doubts, & our failures… all in hopes of “fitting in.”

But let me remind you of something right now. We are all naturally sinful… we are bent toward evil. Our flesh still wants its way… EVEN AFTER we submit our sin to Jesus’ paying for it on the cross..

And we can sugar coat it in layers upon layers of denial & justifications & downplaying it, but it’s there all the same. Even Paul recognized it in himself! (Romans 7:14-15)

Only God is GOOD

We don’t become good just because we accept Jesus’ offer to pay our sin debt to God Almighty. There is no magic sauce that is poured over us that washes away our fleshly desire to bend toward sin. Only God is good.

Even Jesus mentions this fact when He is called good & He responds with: “Why do you call Me good? Only God is good,” knowing the man he was speaking to did not consider Him God, but man. (paraphrase) (Mark 10:17-18)

God Offers Us His Power to Overcome Sin (When We Turn to Jesus), But That Doesn’t Mean He Removes Our Sin Nature

It is definitely, absolutely true that once we accept Jesus’ gift, that God sends us His Holy Spirit to guide us & that God breaks the chains that sin had over us, so that we can choose NOT to sin & OVERCOME sin (with His help & power), but the desire to sin is not washed away.

How damaging it is to pretend otherwise! Even Paul did not shy away from admitting his own wrestling with it—& for great purpose! Because if we all think we’re supposed to have no desire for sin, yet we are tempted to sin, yet we all pretend we aren’t tempted… then that just communicates to other Christians that we feel we have it together… aka, then why do they NOT have it all together?

We Ought to Be Transparent

“This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.” (1 Timothy 1:15) Notice how he doesn’t say he WAS the chief of sinners… but that he IS the chief of sinners.

We ought to be transparent. We ought to bear one another’s burdens! We ought to pray for & with one another through those struggles! We ought to be honest about the fact that while we are imperfect, God is perfection! While we are prone to sin, God is holy! While we fail, God does NOT!

Don’t strive to look perfect. Strive to point to Him as perfect.

Yes, strive to honor & glorify Him in all you do. Yes! Do that! But in that, don’t pretend you always get it right & never slip up.

God Knows We Need to Be Honest in Our Weakness to One Another

I struggle with depression, as you probably know by now, but while that is not sinful, the fleshly pull I consistently have is to let myself succumb to all the lies of exploitation Satan likes to yell in my heart while I am weak. I don’t want to have to trust God IN the hard… I just want the hard to be GONE! So, a major sin pull for me is to just selfishly demand the end of that hard OR ELSE I doubt God & draw away from Him in bitterness & hurt feelings of betrayal.

But let me tell you, God has shown me that if I can find a safe person to share that temptation & struggle with, AKA my husband, & let him know how much I am struggling & ask him to pray with me when I don’t feel I have the strength or will to pray for myself… it helps break the chains Satan is trying to wrap around my neck with all of his lies.

Satan wants us to struggle alone. He wants us to pretend we’re perfect. He wants us to feel like we’re the only one who can’t seem to get it right. He wants us to think when we fail that everyone else just wants to obey God 24/7 in ALL things so that we only want to withdraw, isolate, & are more vulnerable to his deception & exploitation of our weaknesses.

So stop pretending! Stop being okay with letting other people feel like they have to pretend!

BE A SAFE SPACE for someone else.

Strive to be Holy… Don’t PRETEND to be Holy… There’s a Difference

It’s not up to you to act like a picture-perfect Christian, because guess what… none of us are.

God calls us to BE holy, to strive for holiness, aka to live in a way that seeks to honor & please Him with all that we think, say, & do (not to earn His favor but because we know it pleases & honors Him & because He is SO deserving of it!) but He knows that doesn’t mean we will never want to sin anymore.

What a harsh lie/burden to put on ourselves to believe otherwise… because absolutely no one can live up to it at all times.

The Extreme Pressures of Social Media to be “It”

And I see the same thing just exploding on social media, with all the different apps & “influencers” who take 30 pictures to get that right one to post (guilty!), who trim off a few pounds or adjust the lighting or cover blemishes or erase wrinkles… all in the name of saying they have it all together & are worthy of your following, but to the end of feeling they never quite measure up to the perceived perfection of the rest of the world.

“I don’t have a boyfriend… & no wonder because I can’t seem to ever get my [hair, skin, body, life] to look like hers.”

“I don’t have any friends… probably because I’m not as [successful, all-together, confident, cheerful, pretty, etc.] as her.”

We need to stop letting this pressure to compare to others’ scripted, edited, faked life make us feel like we’re not good enough to be loved… that if we just did more, were more adventurous, more friendly, more successful, etc. etc. etc., then maybe, just maybe, we would have more deep friendships or have our dream relationship.

I Don’t Have to be “Good Enough” to be Loved

You don’t have to be “good enough” to be loved. Period.

There is no perfect standard that others have achieved–guaranteed.

There is no person who does not have their own bend toward a specific sin desire–guaranteed.

There is no person who never makes mistakes & gets it right all the time–guaranteed.

So, if you are alone (or feel like you are) & you wonder why… ask God. Start there. Because I guarantee you that it’s not at all because you’re “not good enough.”

Always Ask God for Help & Wisdom & Help Trusting His “Enoughness”

Say, “God, I am so tired of trying to pretend perfection to be liked. I feel so much pressure for it & I don’t see how I could possibly be liked if I stop. But God, help me to trust You more than I do. I am trying to be the one to make it happen, but help me trust Your leading instead. Help me to have confidence in how You designed me & show me what that design is even more clearly. Help me to know how to stop trying so hard & instead, help me know how to better lean into You for Your help & Your enoughness. I’m sorry that I always feel the need to supplement. Forgive my unbelief & help me believe in You more. You are enough, I just don’t know how to rest in that. Help me learn to love & trust You more. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Shine HOPE by allowing your imperfections to show, relying on God’s perfection to help you live His way, versus trying to pretend you can be perfect in & of yourself… & by removing the pressured lie that you have to be good enough to be loved. You’re already so loved by the God Almighty Himself!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Arise Bracelet (East Asia)

Trades of Hope, Arise Bracelet, East Asia, I Don't Have to be Good Enough to be Loved
(Shown: Arise Bracelet, handmade by women rescued from brothels in East Asia. Each purchase empowers these women out of poverty to a brighter future of hope.)

This colorful and fun stretch bracelet is made by women rescued from the brothels of East Asia. Each Arise Bracelet features genuine dyed agate stones with mesmerizing “crackle” textures, 14k gold-plated accents, and a soft navy tassel.

Every purchase helps a sex trafficking survivor in East Asia “arise” out of poverty by empowering her with safe housing, health care, trauma counseling, job skills training, and dignified income.

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

God in Our Suffering, God-Centered Perspective Shifts, Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory, Prayer, Salvation & Grace

My Weakness Is a Canvas for God’s Glory

November 14, 2022by Michelle HydeNo Comments
My Weakness Is a Canvas for God's Glory

Tears, Anxiety, & a Hot Mess, Oh My!

I have had a lot of opportunities to feel weak over these last few months.

From dealing with the disappointment, bitterness, & anxiety of moving back to Guam from my favorite home—Misawa, Japan, to all of the problems with the entire process of the move (prep fails & all of the move process problems), to then the struggles that seem to barrage us at every turn since we have arrived… I have definitely felt beaten down by life a lot lately.

If maybe only a few of these things had happened, any of those things may have been merely a temporary frustration, but when it happens again & again & again & again & doesn’t seem to have any end to the “agains,” it starts to feel defeating & exhausting, my nerves already shot & my patience spent, turning a near nonissue into another fail to add to ever-growing pile.

A Display of Weakness

And I don’t try to hide it. Why? Because my weakness is a canvas for God’s glory & all He is capable of when I am clearly not.

Tears come more easily lately & anxiety rears up more readily & I just feel tired & distracted & disheveled pretty regularly these days… not all the time, mind you… but pretty regularly.

I don’t like hard. I covet easy comfort. I know it’s an idol of mine & boy has God made it clear to me how much I yearn for it over Him these past several months.

This journey of moving back to Guam, in all of its struggle & trouble, has led me to cry out like Paul when he cried out to God about the thorn in his side. “Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-9)

I don’t try to hide it because I want everyone to know just how weak I really am, so that they know any strength or peace I possess is not from willpower or personal strength, but because I turn to God & ask for HIM to BE my enough when I’m not.

In the Waiting, May My Weakness Display His Strength

I cry something similar pretty frequently these days. I just want a period of peace, where I have nothing new to report & at least nothing new goes wrong for a while. I don’t even need it to be perfect & fun necessarily, I just want a break from the hard for just a little bit.

And maybe that day is coming soon… or maybe not….

But just like Paul was reminded, God reminds me also that God is enough for me IN the hard. (2 Corinthians 12:8-9)

A Blessing Is Not Just When Everything Is Going Right

I see so often a list of GOOD things shared by friends, followed with “I’m so blessed!” but sometimes the blessings come most preciously when nothing in life seems to ever go right… where NOTHING seems good… because in those moments, we can most clearly see that while nothing else seems sufficient, nothing seems to be working out, everything is going wrong, & I don’t have the strength to be capable & strong seeming in & of myself… that God really IS sufficient.

My weakness is a canvas for His glory… for His strength.

When everyone sees just how weak & incapable & foolish I am… me as a mess… then any good that comes from my story can only be explained One way… Him.

God, I Need You… Every Hour I Need You

When I am weak, where peace seems an impossible thing, where rest feels to be eluding me at every opportunity, & I am beaten down by life… I can slump down & cry… I can be honest with Him about how it hurts & hold nothing back… & then I can say, “God, I need You. I need You to be my enough right now. Thank You that because of Jesus paying my debt & restoring a right relationship between You & me, I can come to You with it all & trust You to be enough, even when I most certainly am not. Thank You for being faithful even when I feel faithless. Thank You for Your sufficiency & grace. Thank You for giving me Your peace even when any peace seems impossible to me. Thank You! Amen.”

Only He Is Perfect

We’re not meant to try to present ourselves as infallible & perfect, someone who never fails, struggles, or makes mistakes. We are meant to present Him as such.

Should we strive to honor Him in all of life? Yes, of course.

Will we always succeed? Nope.

Should we pretend we always succeed “for our testimony”? NO.

We should humbly accept where we fall short & draw back to Him for His loving grace & mercy, displaying His grace, love, mercy, faithfulness, & power in every circumstance.

Shine HOPE by letting your weakness be a canvas for God’s glory in the lives of those around you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.

Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

This blog/website has been running for over FOUR years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3

If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Celebrate My Birthday This Week by Getting Yourself a Treat:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Capiz Dove Ornament Set (Philippines)

Trades of Hope, Capiz Dove Ornament Set, Philippines, My Weakness Is a Canvas for God's Glory
(Shown: Capiz Dove Ornament Set, handmade in the Philippines! Every purchase of this set empowers women in the Philippines out of poverty!)

LIMITED EDITION – WHILE SUPPLIES LAST! This elegant set of three handcrafted capiz shell ornaments begins at the bottom of the sea surrounding the Philippine Islands. Divers collect basketfuls of beautiful “windowpane” shells for Artisans like Emelyn, who cut each custom shape and bind them by into delicate gold-plated frames to create these dove-inspired ornaments. Every purchase of this ornament set empowers women in the Philippines out of poverty!

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

Intentional Growth, Living Your Faith, Our Weaknesses for God's Glory, Prayer

Living My Mission-To Break Up Fallow Ground

October 31, 2022by Michelle HydeNo Comments
Living My Mission-To Break Up Fallow Ground

I Crave Affirmation & THIS Is My Gifting??

Have I established well enough that I don’t particularly enjoy being uncomfortable? (Understatement alert!) That I like when people like me? That I don’t like doing anything that might prevent the words of affirmation I so crave from others?

Recently, God helped me hone in on & define more succinctly one of the grandest purposes in my spiritual gifting: to break up fallow ground. (Jeremiah 4:3-4)

If you do a quick internet search on fallow ground, it shows that it is untilled, unused land. If land is untilled, that means it has been packed down & hardened, making it pretty difficult to sow seeds for new growth.

And this seems to be one of the key purposes of my spiritual gift–to break up fallow ground in people’s hearts. And trust me, it does NOT always stir up a desire for others to offer me words of affirmation.

Why ME, God?

To have me be a woman (men don’t always receive well God’s direction from a woman), who struggles with depression (& who craves affirmation), AND to also give me this spiritual gift just seems mean.

I know God isn’t mean & I know God doesn’t make mistakes, but it just would not be the gifting I would have chosen for myself. Don’t get me wrong, this gifting, while being sometimes seemingly unbearable, has also been one of the greatest blessings in my life… but hard is hard… & I don’t like hard.

What Does It Mean?

So, what does it mean for ME to break up fallow ground as part of my gifting?

(By the way, a spiritual gift is a particular gifting God gives you when you surrender your sins to God for forgiveness through accepting Jesus paying your own debt to God.)

I have mentioned before that I see things in black & white, where some see gray. (See my mention of this in my recent post: “Is Life a Big ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ Story?”) This doesn’t mean I am militant in my “THOU SHALT NOT”s, but rather that God has particularly gifted me to see the excuses, justifications, intentional or unintentional ignorance when it comes to those gray areas… in other words, there is no gray area for any INDIVIDUAL.

God doesn’t leave it up to us to GUESS… He guides us through the Holy Spirit, whether it’s situational, temporary avoidance of something not expressly forbidden in the Bible for the sake of another person you may or may not realize may struggle… or whether it’s a weak point for you & you may or may not recognize it… or whether you feel conflicted about it, but can’t find proof it’s wrong, so you want to move forward with it (warning: don’t! Romans 14:23). The Holy Spirit is a faithful & sure guide.

This insight is part of it. Helping others recognize something for what it is so they can take a personal inventory of such things & be convicted to turn those over to God versus avoiding or ignoring them because it makes them uncomfortable to confront it.

Sometimes I Am Tempted to Keep Silent…

I don’t always like this discernment into other’s good intentions versus God’s leading, to be quite frank. (Ever heard the phrase: “Don’t shoot the messenger?”) Whether it’s an inner, personal conviction, or whether it means standing up & speaking the truth when no one seems to be either willing or interested in doing so—going against the grain. I want to be liked!

So, if I ever speak something to you that just cuts deep into something you have been wrestling with & you feel that disdain for my presence & you wish I would just keep my mouth shut & mind my own business because you want to leave that fallow ground well enough alone or maybe even deny that it is fallow altogether… trust me, I want the same!

If that ever happens, most likely I had just spent 5-10 minutes (or days) wrestling with God on how He could possibly address it without me being involved, (or maybe AT LEAST that He would give me words that would make you not hate me for saying it) before I ever said a word out loud!

I Can’t Block Out His Prompting, No Matter How Badly I Want to Sometimes…

But, rarely can I ignore the prodding, as if a weight were placed on my shoulder & a gentle, loving voice whispers over my soul: “Speak now. You need to speak now,” while I shuffle in my seat uncomfortably trying to find a way to honor God & NOT speak now.

He always wins because He rarely lets me rest until I obey, like the restless Jonah that tried to run (literally) from God’s command to him.

I Never Know How Someone Will Respond to God’s Prompting Me to Speak Up

Sometimes I am humbly & graciously thanked for being willing to speak God’s Truth into their heart even if it must be uncomfortable (it is!) but sometimes I get glares & defensive responses & they take their frustration out on me, sometimes even going as far as telling their friends things to the tune of me being a stuck up, know-it-all, arrogant, self-righteous snob.

Slander hurts, folks. Slander hurts.

But I get it. I SOOOO get it. Because I don’t always want to listen to His love-generated tender convictions either. My flesh rears up. I defend. I feel threatened. I feel called out & embarrassed & defensive. I don’t like when God reveals an area of fallow ground in me. I don’t like it one bit.

So I get it. I really do.

Sometimes It Feels Like a Blessing AND a Curse…

I call my gifting a blessing & a curse because when someone is willing to receive how God wants to speak into a particular situation, it is a testimony of how wise, all-knowing, & fiercely determined to love us no matter the cost He is. But sometimes people hate me for it (or at least dislike me) & call me names & budding friendships turn to avoidance & sideways glances & whispers.

But, living my mission-to break up fallow ground, sometimes in a “but does it have to be this way? Please let there be another way! Use someone else here!” whine, I most likely will finally relent with a “Okay, I get it… it’s me… now… no matter how uncomfortable this makes me right now & no matter the risk… You have called me, so give me the words & please give me the courage!”

What an honor it is to see the heart of God… to be able to speak life-giving, God-given TRUTH to people as God leads it. What an immeasurable blessing it is to be called to break up the fallow ground in the hearts I come across… when they are willing to receive it & when I am willing to speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15)

My Plea for You… If Something I Say Ever Offends You

You don’t need to be upset with me, because most likely, I am feeling the conviction brought by my words just as much as you are… You don’t answer to me… You don’t owe any explanation to me… My opinion in the issue doesn’t matter one bit.

You don’t have anything you need to prove to me. I am just as much human as you are.

But let me share a plea with you. If I say something that offends you because it challenges something you grew up always believing… or excusing… or justifying… or ignoring… or ignorant of… when you are tempted to shut me out & close the door on me moving forward… fine… okay…. (I would rather be shunned than either disobey God’s call or miss a chance for you to see God bring fruit to an area of your life laying stagnant or hardened)

BUT PLEASE promise me that you will AT LEAST PRAY about whatever I said that makes you feel defensive or angry. Ask GOD for HIS opinion.

Let God Decide… Not You… Nor Me… HIM

Say, “God, that’s not true, is it? I’m not doing that! I’m not making excuses! You know my intentions here, no matter what Michelle says…. But…. (sigh) If I’m wrong somewhere here God, or if I missed something, or if You are trying to show me something here through what she said… help me be willing to hear it. Regardless of what I may not believe from her, if it is from You, I want to know. Confirm to me what Your will is in this, even if it clashes with what I understand or want to believe here… YOU show me. YOU teach me. YOU guide me. Let me be willing to hear Your opinion in this & to have it overshadow & overrule my own, no matter how uncomfortable the thought of it feels to me right now. Help me be willing to trust You more than myself if I am wrong… show me Your will in this. In Jesus’ name, AMEN.”

Because you don’t owe me any explanation. You don’t owe me anything. If I am wrong, then I am wrong, but if there is even a SLIM chance that God is trying to break up a piece of fallow ground in your heart… you take that to Him & ask Him for His will over your own.

Not you. Not me. HIM.

Living My Mission-To Break Up Fallow Ground

Living my mission to break up fallow ground isn’t easy. It’s sometimes a battle of my will & flesh, wanting likes & comfort more than a ready obedience to God… sometimes it’s fear instead of faith leading my heart when God directs me… but every time, if it’s God leading me, I can be 100% sure it’s for His glory & their good. Every time.

Because that is the God we serve. He IS love. (1 John 4:8)

Shine HOPE by living God’s call in your own life & by being willing to be obedient to His leading, even if it means bowing your will to His & asking for His help in even that.

He knows what He is doing all the time. And He is Good. Praise GOD.

Coming Next Week

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A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Festive Finch Ornament Duo (Nepal)

Trades of Hope, Festive Finch Ornament Duo, Nepal, Living My Mission-To Break Up Fallow Ground
(Shown: Festive Finch Ornament Duo, handcrafted in Nepal. Every purchase empowers women in Nepal out of poverty!)

LIMITED EDITION – While Supplies Last! This set of two whimsical finch ornaments from Nepal will add some playful charm to your holiday decor with their festive winter accessories, puffy bellies, and adorable wire bird legs! Each Festive Finch Ornament is handcrafted using traditional felt crafting techniques that have been passed down for generations. Your purchase provides a woman in an area of extreme poverty with a safe job and fair wage. 

How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!

Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!

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