I know we talked about this in last week’s blog post, but it’s something I feel so terrible at that maybe if I keep talking about it & keep reminding myself I need it… maybe, just maybe, I will stop being so stubborn & just bow my heart to His goodness. And stick with me, because there’s a little more to it.
Why Would I Resist It?
When I stop & think about it, it really does seem pretty silly (coughfoolishcough) of me to even struggle in this area.
But let me be clear, this is not just a struggle to shut down the quiet, it is an addiction to wash out the quiet… It is me not being willing to slump before God & ask for His help because it feels so much easier & immediately gratifying to numb over it.
It’s sin.
I hate to call you out on that if you struggle with it, too, but that’s just the plain truth of it. I don’t like to or want to admit it, but in reality, it is me refusing to give up that ease & comfort of instant gratification for the better that God has in store for me if I surrender to that stillness with God.
What Stillness with God Can Do
God meant & designed stillness with Him to be for our good. It will refresh. It will renew. It will bring healing. It will help us feel closeness with God. It will help us recognize His deep & unconditional love for us. It will boost our confidence (in HIM). It WILL.
But instant gratification is what I have grown up expecting & turning to. Bored? TV. Restless? Phone. Quiet house? Video games. I want to feel good NOW.
And NOT covering up that restlessness & NOT filling every void immediately, is NOT instantly gratifying. In fact, it feels like extra WORK.
I Want to Indulge! I Don’t Want to Listen to God!
And this isn’t the only area of my life where I do this… FOOD is another area I struggle with because I don’t WANT to stop & give up my cravings by asking God to help me with them. I WANT to INDULGE!
And when I was journaling the hindrances to me taking better care of the body God has given me, after writing out a whole list, I came to the realization that the overlying reason I am not improving like I could is because I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP MY INSTANT GRATIFICATION OF CRAVINGS!
In other words, I KNOW God CAN & WOULD help me… BUT when I am given the opportunity to ask for His help in either being still or making food choices that will more greatly benefit me in the long run… I CHOOSE to ignore His gentle nudges & I FILL my “need” for INSTANT gratification.
It’s sin.
I am CHOOSING to ignore Him because I want what I want instead.
My Selfish Greed, Disguised
This was quite the blow to my lingering, ignored, & relentlessly justified self-righteous view of myself in that, “Oh, but I DO want to change! I DO!” While, when given every opportunity to change WITH GOD’S HELP, I might add… I brush away that little loving nudge (God’s offer to help) & I do whatever I want anyway.
Ouch.
Big ouch.
And now I must face this fact about myself… this selfish, self-centered, stubborn fact about myself… this SIN.
My selfish greed, disguised as good intentions that I never actually act on when given the opportunity & help from God.
Confession to God & Asking for HELP Overcoming My Selfish Heart
“God, You knew this all along about me. I kept “crying out to You to help me” learn to be still… to help me learn how to just be still & KNOW You are God & spend time with You… to help me make better health choices… all the while, whenever You offered Your capable & loving help, I shrugged You off & did what I really wanted instead. God, as Paul said in his letter in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” It’s frustrating how simply & easily I am tricked into dismissing You for what hurts me instead. How easily fooled I am by my own selfishness & greed. Please forgive me. Help me give this up, even if You have to pry it from my fingers. HELP ME! I am so selfish that, in the moment, when caught off guard, I know I will immediately grab for quick, easy, immediate gratification. I don’t want to live like that forever. Help me! Break me so You can build me up the way I was designed by You to be, without my sin destroying it. Help me overcome this hurdle of selfish greed. Help me humble myself at Your feet & be willing to loosen my grip so I can give it to You & depend on You instead. You are so much better & so much more satisfying than immediate gratification. Your way is meant for my good. Help me, please. AMEN.”
Reflection:
If you’re honest with yourself, do you have an area in your life where you do this, too?
Do yourself a HUMUNGOUS favor & be willing to pray that prayer from Psalm 139, ”Lord, search me & know me… See if there be any wicked way in me.” Not because HE doesn’t already know those areas (because, trust me, He does), but because sometimes WE are completely blind to our own faults & the strongholds that keep us imprisoned.
Shine Hope by shining light on those areas you maybe refuse to give up to God, by asking for His help in doing so… & then in asking for His help with VICTORY over them, like only He can do. <3
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Inverted Capiz Earrings
Fashion as a force for Good! Empower women in the Philippines out of poverty with these beautiful Inverted Capiz Earrings!
These earrings feature shimmery, creamy white capiz shells, each framed by a black edge.
Artisan Information:
In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
So much rest & peace is represented in that one word: Stillness.
And yet, it seems near impossible to me on most days… & I don’t even have kids… or a full-time job.
This idea of stillness is often equated with restlessness & boredom to me.
I hate boredom. I eat to avoid boredom. I binge tv to avoid boredom. I waste away entire days on stuff that doesn’t really satisfy or fulfill me from a desperation to avoid boredom.
And yet, that’s not the evoked feeling that was intended when God spoke in Psalms, “Be still.”
Be Still & Know
The powerful Truth in that simple statement is one that is meant to refresh us & comfort us & to assure us that God has everything under control.
It’s a reminder that we’re not made to be able to do it all or handle it all.
It’s a reminder that we are made with limitations… but that He is NOT.
It’s a reminder that we were MADE to NEED HIM.
“Mary Has Chosen What Is Better, & It Will Not Be Taken Away from Her.”
This simple command to “Be still & know” reminds me of Jesus’ response to Martha, in Luke 10, when He visited Mary & Martha. Martha was upset at her sister Mary for not helping with hostess duties. But Jesus gently responded that Mary had made the better choice & that it will not be taken from her.
Mary’s choice? To sit at Jesus’ feet, soaking up His presence & spending time with Him, learning His words & enjoying time with Him.
I Fight Stillness
In that retelling of Mary & Martha with Jesus, I feel like I would be their unknown other sister Michelle (fits because we’re all ‘M’ names, right?), who wants to avoid the stress the duties bring, while also too restless & impatient to sit still & just be with God… wanting instead to time-fill as much as possible, avoiding everything.
Can you relate?
Being still with God is SO HARD for me. I will grab for my phone or the tv remote or game controller or iPad or music or food or text someone or call family or just crawl in bed & avoid it ALL… before I would EVER think to stop & JUST be still with God.
It’s not easy for me at all.
My Stubborn Self-Solutions
That’s why I am completely terrible at abusing a lack of intentional prayer time. Instead of putting aside all distractions to be still with God, I grab for the nearest distraction I can find because stillness makes me restless.
Oh yes, I pray throughout the day, talking to God in my heart over simple things or lifting up requests or praises to Him… AS I am going about my day.
But BEING STILL & just being content to SIT with God? To be STILL with God? NOPE.
I am learning that I can’t continue this way, grabbing for the nearest distractions to fill the empty space.
I NEED that rest. I NEED that reset. I was designed to NEED that stillness… because I was designed to NEED God.
My Desperate, Resistant Prayer
And to be honest, sometimes recognizing that need, in contrast with my strong distaste of restlessness, manifests itself as me having to slump to the floor in surrender to my fight & saying, “GOD, HELP ME! I KNOW I need You! I KNOW it! But I just CAN’T do it! I feel such an impossibly strong pull to fill up the empty space with devices & noise & distractions & it feels impossible to JUST sit. HELP ME. Please. I don’t want to keep giving up. I don’t WANT to be controlled by this addiction to distractions. I WANT to learn how to be still. I WANT to spend time with You. I WANT to be consistent in decompressing & letting You take all of my little nagging insecurities & inadequacies & areas I don’t know how to move forward. I want to stop compressing them & avoiding them & trying to soothe over them. I want to trust YOU with them. I want to recognize YOU ARE GOD. Please help me fight the “NEED” to fill time even if it means slumping to the floor & babbling through a prayer. I want to want You more. Help me stop avoiding stillness with You. Help me embrace it. Help me embrace You. AMEN.”
Letting Go & Letting GOD
I wrote this week’s blog post. I was almost done with it. But I felt the push to hit select all & delete. So, I did. Because I was flowering it more than my reality.
And I had to kneel on the floor at the couch & ask God to help me not just want to quit it all.
I am no wise person with all the answers who gets it right all the time. I am weak & rebellious & self-centered. I avoid my problems rather than turning to God with them. I avoid stillness with God because the stillness makes me uncomfortable.
I am a work in progress.
I Was Made for Stillness
I need Him & that’s okay because I was MADE to need Him.
And so were you.
I need to stop avoiding things that bring me discomfort & I need to stop trying to soothe over them with ignorance… I need to LEAN INTO God & ask Him to help me face what needs to be faced in each day… even if that means that I need to put everything down & on pause… & just sit & be still & know that He is GOD.
So, be praying with me… for me & for yourself… to be willing to BE STILL with God.
Shine HOPE by taking that time to BE STILL with Him & know that HE IS GOD.
Amen & Amen.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Grace Earrings
Fashion as a Force for Good! Get yourself a beautiful pair of Grace Earrings from the Philippines!
These earrings feature gold plated metal around local capiz shell.
Artisan Information:
In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
What power is contained in His name; I cannot begin to imagine.
It seems silly to me, in my human perspective & understanding, that a mere name can have power in & of itself, but this name is no ordinary name. (Proverbs 18:10)
This is the name of God’s only Son, who came to earth as wholly man AND wholly God. (Colossians 2:8-9)
He humbled Himself from His heavenly throne to be born to us on earth… to teach & to love by example… to die on our behalf. (John 3:16)
Jesus IS.
There is power in that name because He IS power. He is I AM. (Exodus 3:14)
His existence, His power, His wisdom, His TRUTH… does not depend on us believing it.
He. Just. IS.
His Truth. Just. Is.
Demons tremble at His name because they know that in just His name alone lies more power than all of their power combined. (Luke 10:17)
Jesus Is LOVE.
Jesus, GOD OF ALL, came to humble Himself in flesh… to demonstrate His pure & inexhaustible love to us not only in His life of teaching & healing… but in offering His life for us. (John 3:17)
On earth, He displayed love because He IS love. (1 John 4:8)
When the people assumed He came to conquer their human oppressors, He instead came to conquer something much more threatening… their sin… our sin.(Romans 6:23)
He came to give us life… & to give it more abundantly. (John 10:10)
He could have called a thousand angels to rescue Him from the cross. (Matthew 26:53)
He could have just THOUGHT to be removed from the cross. (Genesis 1:3)
But instead, He hung there humiliated, naked, beaten, mocked, spit on, rejected, & betrayed by the very people He came to rescue(Isaiah 53:3-6) & while hanging there, lifted up to God, “Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)
Jesus Is Our Victory!
And with His last breath, He spoke “It is finished” because He knew His death meant victory for us.(John 19:30)
Because after death, taking our punishment upon Himself, He also rose victorious… resurrected & conqueror of both our sin AND death.(Matthew 28:6)
No longer did we carry the wrath of God for our wrongs against Him. No longer was it up to us to pay the price we owed. Jesus, as our Master, died in our place so that “whoever calls upon the name of the Lord [Jesus]” may LIVE as FORGIVEN before God. (Romans 10:13)
Who Jesus Is To Me
How lightly I take that name. How little credit I tend to give it.
How often I think I might know better than He this time or that. (Proverbs 21:2)
How often I question Him & want to go my own way. (Romans 7:19-25)
How little I deserve His offer of mercy.
And yet… Jesus.
I think, if I understood just how much power was in that name alone, I would just be getting the tiny first glimpse of the great power He possesses. (Philippians 2:9-11)
What confidence that understanding would instill in me to stand up for Him & to live for Him with unashamed devotion. Because even in my weaknesses & inadequacies, I know HE can fill in where I lack.(2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
Jesus Is Near
“Thank You, Jesus. You are the Christ. You are the Savior to the world You love. Help us lower the veils from our eyes. Remove our blindness so that we can see with full clarity just how wide & deep Your great love for us really is. Thank You for paying our debt. Thank You for offering us MERCY. We deserve Your wrath… it can be easy to sugarcoat my sin, but I do… I DESERVE Your wrath… & yet, You have mercy & give grace. Thank You, Lord. THANK YOU. Help embolden me to share Your love letter to the world… the Gospel aka the Good News aka how YOU came to SAVE us. Help me be bold for the greatest love story known to man. Amen.”
Shining Hope starts with believing in the saving work of Jesus Christ… & sharing that HOPE with this hurting, bleeding world.
Because in Him we find HOPE.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Moonstone Hoops (from India)
(Fashion as a Force for GOOD! Empower women in India out of poverty by getting a pair of these beautiful Moonstone Hoops!)
Artisans from India cut & frame moonstones on these gold-toned elliptical hoops. Moonstones are prized in India for the unique way they reflect light.
Artisan Information:
Women in India still face widespread discrimination that often leads to poverty & exploitation. Your purchase provides opportunities for women to earn sustainable income through creative expression as fair-trade Artisans.
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
I always try to consider you, the reader, as a friend sitting across from me in the living room, sharing how God is working in our lives.
Not me as the “expert” & you as the “learner,” but as both of us growing & learning together on this journey called LIFE.
The Conversation Starter
There’s a friend of mine from college who used to lead conversation in such a life-changing way almost every time we’d hang out. (If you’re that friend—Thank you! It really encouraged me.)
Every time we would get lunch or meet for games or hang out in any way, he would always ask, “What has God been teaching you lately?”
Such a simple question, that undoubtedly sent me into a nervous frenzy of feeling put on the spot with nothing prepared… but over time, I came to pay more attention, intentionally, about where God was growing me, how He was leading/guiding me, & what He was teaching me… so I would be prepared when I was asked again next time.
Growing Encouraging Awareness
Because of this simple conversation starter, I grew in my AWARENESS of God’s working in my life, making it easier & easier to answer that question each time we met up, & almost always leading to an uplifting & encouraging conversation that led to constant reminders about how big & great & loving God really is.
So, I want to ask you today: “What has God been teaching YOU lately?”
(Maybe this should become a new weekly social media prompt…?)
Growing Your Faith Muscles Together
I really recommend meeting weekly with either a younger woman you would like to mentor(ie. go alongside in life, encouraging her & pointing her to God in all the highs & lows of life, praying together)or meeting with an older woman you feel would be a great mentor for YOU in the same way (or BOTH!).
Both have the potential to encourage you in many great & unseen ways!
It’s also a great idea to agree on an accountability partner with a woman who is more of a peer, encouraging one another to pray, seek God, learn the Bible, & so much more to grow your faith muscles together.
Accountability Questions
Here is the list of Accountability Questions my friend & I aim to ask each other & then discuss together each week:
(There is no magical set of questions & there are so many other options, but not knowing where to start, I prayed over how to be intentional in our conversation & these are what came to my mind personally, as a result.)
What is something you are grateful to God for this week?
What has God been teaching you over the last couple weeks?
What have you been reading in the Bible recently & did you learn anything specific from it?
What is one area you want to be growing in spiritually?
Is there something you would like me to help you stay accountable in?
What would you like me to be praying for?
(Then we take turns praying for each other.)
Let’s Grow Together!
Imagine a world where we all lifted each other up INTENTIONALLY & REGULARLY, by helping each other to remember to always seek God’s help, comfort, wisdom, strength, courage, peace, love, assurance, stability, guidance, etc. in every area of life!
Considering the pandemic, restrictions, isolation, sickness, death, political tensions, & everything else going on in this world right now, what I find myself longing for most is more friendships that always remind me to lean into God’s strength, comfort, peace, & Truth.
It’s easy to complain & try to ignore it, but how beautiful it is when we can come together, lift each other up, support each other, & always be pointing to our one & only TRUE source of HOPE—God Almighty, through the support & guidance of the Holy Spirit & the clean slate forgiveness, mercy, & grace offered freely to us by Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf.
Always Point to HIM
Let’s be intentional, through this stormy season in life, to lift each other up by remembering to always point to Him.
Have a chat with friends & ask questions that remind them to be AWARE of God’s love & power… & let’s keep that on the forefront of our minds through every storm we face together.
God’s got us! Let’s shine HOPE by intentionally & always pointing our friends to Him as our always-answer in everything big & small.
Please consider passing on some encouragement to me &/or anyone else who may read this, by answering one or all of the Accountability Questions in the comments below… or maybe ask a question of your own that will help us remember to seek Him right now! (Or, feel free to send me an email so we can chat!)
RESOURCE SUGGESTION:
My friend & I are currently working through the tiny but impactful book, “Sit, Walk, Stand,” by Watchman Nee.
This book walks through the Christian life.
“Sit” starts us off by helping us remember God’s DONE: God (Creation-God made it all), Jesus Christ (Redemption-Jesus paid it all), & the Holy Spirit (Sanctification-gives us all we need to live for God with strength, comfort, peace, wisdom, etc.!) “Walk” then moves into how our position with “SIT” affects our Christian life & “Stand” shows how this same Truth affects our ability to stand against the enemy (Satan).
Check it out & consider going through it with a friend who wants to grow their faith muscles!
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Nairobi Necklace from Kenya
Get your own Nairobi Necklace & Empower Women in Kenya!
Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.
Artisan Information:
In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
Why did it take me most of my life to read my Bible consistently, although I trusted in Jesus when I was still a child?
Aside from being naïve to the fact that I could ask for & receive help from God when I didn’t feel like reading (whether from stubborn rebellion, sickness, bad attitude, distractions, lack of time, not wanting to “be told what to do,” etc.)was this subtle lie that has misguided me on countless occasions… All or NOTHING.
I Didn’t Know I Was Believing a Lie
It wasn’t until recently, in the last few years, that I began to even recognize this as a lie or that it was even something I actually believed without being aware of it, which is why it is so important to pray often the much-quoted biblical prayer, “Lord, search me & know me. See if there be any wicked way in me,” (Psalm 139:23-24) because sometimes we’re so fooled that we don’t even realize we’re living based on a lie.
I certainly was…. It made sense to me.
What Is the Lie?
So, what do I mean by it? What is the “All or Nothing” lie?
Quite simply what it sounds like…. Satan convincing us or us convincing ourselves that if we can’t do it all… then we can or should do nothing.
The “All or Nothing” Lie
Do any of these sound familiar to you? They’re all things I have reasoned in my own mind many more times than I care to admit.
“I don’t have time to read 3-4 chapters a night to accomplish reading the Bible in a year. It’s just too much to commit to. It overwhelms me… so I am going to stop reading.”
“I don’t have the time nor the focus to sit still & pray for 30 minutes to an hour. It’s just too much for my attention span to handle! So I won’t take time to pray.”
“I can’t complete all of these lessons for the ladies’ Bible study because I have been busy… so I’ll just not go to the study group at all this week.”
“I can’t possibly solve the world poverty problem & every time I buy something that supports artisans working to be empowered out of poverty, it reminds me of the much greater need & it stresses me out… so I am going to stop buying that stuff.”
“I overeat sometimes, binging on junk food, so I am just going to quit trying to taking care of the body God has designed for & given to me because my failures discourage me too much.”
I Didn’t See It for What It Was
Do you see the pattern in those statements… that if I can’t do it to my expectations, I should just not do it?
Well, for so SO long, I DIDN’T see that pattern at all & I still struggle to recognize it for what it is sometimes.
These reasonings made sense to me. I couldn’t live up to the expectations others put before me (or the ones I placed upon myself after seeing that particular honorable habit modeled in someone else’s life)so I would just not do it at all anymore.
And so often, that’s exactly how Satan operates. Satan likes to convince us that because we can’t do it BIG, we shouldn’t do it at all.
But instead, what if we FIRST asked for God’s help for a starting point & also help in sticking with it… & just start SOMEWHERE with SOMETHING, even if it’s small!
Flipping the Script… Turn it to “All or SOMETHING”
When discouraged that you can’t keep up, try saying instead:
“I don’t feel like I have time or focus or energy to read that much of the Bible at a time, just starting out or for the season of life I am in… but I know that any that I CAN read will benefit me AND honor God, so I will read just a little every day & ask for God’s help in sticking with even that.”
“I don’t feel I can commit that much uninterrupted time praying, but I know that God hears me whether using the restroom, showering, laying in bed, driving, etc. So, I will ask God to remind me consistently to come to Him first in all things big & small for help, leaning into Him through all the highs & lows of life & coming to Him for all requests & praises when it crosses my mind. Any prayer will benefit me & honor God, so I will make a point to at least PRAY in the small moments I get.”
“I don’t feel I can complete my lessons this week for Bible Study, but I will ask God for timing & focus & motivation to do at least what I can of it & if I still fall flat, I will show up anyway knowing that the fellowship will lift me up & the conversation will remind me to come to Him in anything.”
“I can’t solve world poverty/starvation problems, but I can help as God presents me with opportunity. Even a small help is a big help to the person it benefits. So, I will ask God to help me see what my part is & be ready to follow His lead in that part & leave the rest in His hands, praying for those who still suffer.”
“I struggle taking care of my body consistently because of gluttony, versus seeking that fulfillment & satisfaction from God. So, I will ask God for forgiveness & that He help me keep doing little GOOD things for my body even when I fail sometimes.”
Where Have You Believed the Lie of “All or Nothing”?
What examples can you add to those above? Where are you believing the lie that because you can’t do it the way you feel you “should,” that you should just not do it at all?
Where do you need to just START, even if just a little at a time… & where do you need to ask God for help in doing even that small thing?
Shine hope. Start small & let God help you grow as you go.
SUGGESTED RESOURCE:
Something that helped wake me up to this “All or Nothing” lie is the itty bitty book, “The Screwtape Letters” by C.S. Lewis. This short book shows the perspective of demons conversing with one another, deliberating how they might deceive the person they seek to destroy. It was eye-opening & helped teach me to pray for discernment far more often than I was beforehand. Check it out on Amazon, here, or Thriftbooks.com, here.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Anika Earrings
Fashion as a Force for Good! (Anika Earrings from India.)
These silver-plated hammered Anika Earrings are made in India where they get their name from an ancient Sanskrit word meaning “grace & favor”. Add some fun to your wardrobe with these lightweight statement earrings!
Artisan Information:
Women in India still face widespread discrimination that often leads to poverty & exploitation. Your purchase provides opportunities for women to earn sustainable income through creative expression as fair-trade Artisans.
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
To risk starting this week on a downer, this year has been tough on a lot of us, hasn’t it?
It’s easy to want to sugarcoat it… It’s easy to complain about it… It’s easy to want to ignore it… but the truth is that in one way or another, this year has been a challenge.
Restrictions, home-quarantine, loss of jobs, loss of lives, fear, arguments, distress, unrest, masks, excessive hand-washing, social distancing, cancelled vacations, lonely holidays… the list goes on.
It has been rough.
And as we face the coming year, many of us are perched on the edge of our chairs hoping for a better tomorrow… for a better year… for HOPE.
Anxiety
Anxiety is something I wrestle with pretty frequently. Whenever I am overcome with an onslaught of things I can’t control or fix or solve, I feel paralyzed by anxiety… wanting to hide from it all.
This past year has been a prime example of resurfacing stressors & fears for me from our time in Hokkaido. (I can’t stress enough that it was so beautiful there, with amazing things to see & do, with even more wonderful people to support & encourage us… but the stress of constant culture shock was real.)
And when this always-talked-about pandemic showed up, flash backs of stress traumas began to consume me in anxiety, making me fear what was to come.
God Is in Control
It’s tempting to walk into 2021 with trepidation as well, wondering if the struggles will continue or even worsen in some way.
But then I remember one very wonderful truth that I can cling to with sure assurance… God is in control even when I am not… even when the whole world seems out of control.
The more I read the Bible… the more I talk to God, sharing my heart & leaning on Him & learning to trust Him & love Him more… the more I begin to see the beautiful tapestry woven by our great & loving God.
God Always Has a Plan
It’s easy to see 2020 as an onslaught of misery & pain… or at least of discomfort & inconvenience… It’s easy to be like the Israelites roaming the desert, complaining & consumed with thinking of how life once was.
Aside from the fact that the Israelites had been in bondage before roaming the desert, they still craved the familiarity of their bondage.
Walking in the desert wasn’t easy for them. And although God led them with a pillar of fire by night & a pillar of cloud by day, God provided for them with sufficient food, & God answered their complaints through Moses’ prayers (while they should have trusted & asked God themselves versus complaining & pushing Moses to pray on their behalf), all the while God was leading them to a beautiful land to call their home in FREEDOM… & despite all of that, they longed for their old life versus God’s plan.
That’s so often the common response to struggle. Maybe we were in bondage to wrong thinking or bad habits or thinking life is all about us & what we want… & it’s uncomfortable having our way disrupted & pulled out from under us… But I guarantee you this, if we cling to God & trust God with the changes: It’s for our good… every time.
I Needed to Remember
When the crazy of 2020 began & the fears of a life interrupted trickled in & anxiety of returning to the isolation I felt in Hokkaido reared up… I was afraid… SO afraid I cried many times, begging God that it not be so.
But in His gentle, loving way, He whispered His reminders across my heart that come what may, I needed to remember I can cling to Him as a steady & sure foundation when it seems everything else is crumbling around me.
And as we head into this new year, that same loving reminder echoes in my heart: Trust Him, He has you… come what may.
A Hope-Filled New Year
It’s a HOPE-FILLED New Year ahead. HE is our HOPE.
Our hope is not in our plans working out, but in His plans working out.
Our hope is not in finding rest in hoped-for vacations, but in finding rest in Him.
Our hope is not in feeling strong & confident, but in remembering He is strong even when we are not & finding confidence in Him.
Our hope is not in a vaccine or a cure or the end of the virus, but in realizing that He IS Sufficient… Come what may.
Our hope is in learning to rest in & trust in HIM.
Personal Control Is a Lie That Keeps Us from Experiencing True PEACE
I know it’s hard. I know it sucks sometimes & you just want to go back to the life you had. I feel the craving for the vaccine just on the slim chance it will mean I can have “my” life back.
And I have to ask God forgiveness for that… that He have mercy on my never-ending yearning to grasp back supposed control for myself so I don’t have to rely on trust in Him as much.
Forgive me, God.
Because it’s a lie, guys. Our personal control is a lie. Our hope in those other things is a lie.
It’s a lie we cling to because it’s our familiar, but it’s a lie all the same.
Only hope in Him is secure & sure… steady & faithful… full of grace & love that can fulfill us in ways unimaginable. A SURE Hope that breeds PEACE.
A Glorious HOPE!! Praise Be to God!
2020 has been an exercise of remembering my real hope is in Him… not in life, or my determination, or my plans… not in government or culture or society… but in Him ALONE... In life AND in death.
And what a wonderful, glorious, praise-worthy HOPE it is!
We can walk confidently into 2021, not reliant on a vaccine & not even reliant on things going back to “normal”, but because we have REAL HOPE in One Who will never disappoint!
He is with us always, even to the end of the age. (Matt. 28:20)
He is our Refuge & our Strength & a very present Help in time of trouble. (Psalm 46:1-3)
He is the Author & Perfecter of our faith, so entrust Him with the pen. (Hebrews 12:2)
Shine HOPE to the world by clinging to Him as your true & only Hope… come. what. may.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Jubilee Bracelet Set (Haiti)
Jubilee Bracelet Set (Haiti) & Northern Lights Studs (India)
This set of 3 stretch bracelets features cranberry & blush hand-rolled Haitian clay beads with brass accent beads. Every product has variations as a part of the Artisan-made charm! (On Sale Now & While Supplies Last!)
Meet the Artisan: Makensia’s Story of Hope
Surrounded by the tropical beauty of Haiti, Makensia is also surrounded by extreme poverty. But neither poverty, nor the death of a child, nor domestic abuse have defined her. She has persevered through many challenging seasons & continues to pursue good things for her family.
While many mothers in her village have been forced to make the heartbreaking decision to give up their children to poverty orphanages to save them from starvation, this mother of five has been able to earn enough income to keep her family together with the simple act of hand-rolling Haitian clay beads & making jewelry from discarded cereal boxes. Your purchase helps Makensia & other Haitian mothers continue to keep their families together.
The Impact of Your Purchase: Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who gave them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Haiti!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
My favorite ornament on our tree every year is a cross. We are always careful to place it near the top, at eye level, front & center….
The Ending That Stuck with Me
Over a decade ago, my family (parents & siblings) went to see the Christmas Nativity Sight & Sound production in Pennsylvania. (If you have not had the enormous pleasure of seeing one of their shows, put it on your bucket list for sure! Live animals, wrap-around stage, & wonderful re-enactments of the true stories of Scripture. Both Inspiring & Beautiful.)
Not only was the entirety of that Christmas Nativity performance moving & spectacular, the ending is what stuck with me all these many years later.
As the performance came to a close, the lights dimmed… & shown in the backdrop, illuminated, was a CROSS.
I will never forget it.
Reflections This Christmas
In the production’s retelling of Jesus’ birth: the virgin Mary, visited by the angel & told of the child she would carry, placed in her by God Almighty… her fiancé Joseph who honorably chose to put Mary away quietly rather than have her stoned for “infidelity” & who was then also visited by an angel of God & told that the child Mary carried was the Son of the Most High God & would someday save the world from their sins… the traveling to fulfill the king’s command… the inn where there was no room… the stable-like cave they were placed in as Mary gave birth to our Savior… the angels who sang & announced to the lowly shepherds the arrival of God-come-as-man for all mankind… the wise men who travelled far, offering gifts of honor….
And for them to end the whole re-telling of the first Christmas with an illuminated cross as the backdrop sent me sobbing to myself in my seat.
Christmas Grace, Christmas Mercy, Christmas LOVE
This precious, sweet infant Jesus… God in flesh… He came willingly to earth so He could love us in person & display His truth & mercy & grace & LOVE… knowing He ALSO came to die… for us
And this was God’s plan all along.
… Not just since the first Christmas, but since BEFORE TIME. God ALWAYS knew that Jesus would come as man & live as Emmanuel “God with us” to eventually die in our place to make us right with God.
What mercy! What grace! What wonderful LOVE!
The Struggle Is REAL
There are so many things struggling for our attention during this season: Christmas cards (our close friends & family are getting ‘New Year cards’ this year, haha), cookie-baking, caroling, shopping, wrapping, decorating, cooking, cleaning, planning, parties, church services, driving to see the lights, & all the hustle & bustle of the holidays.
But one must take the time to quiet their heart & remember…
The Most Wonderful Gift Can’t be Bought
Remember the beautiful gift of Jesus Who willingly came to pay for our sins on the cross.
He was God-with-us. He was the most impactful, life-changing, life-sacrificing, LOVING gift we will ever receive on any Christmas for all time. He topped the charts… ALL the charts.
So, take a moment right now to close your eyes & take a few deep, slow breaths… quiet your heart & mind from all the crazy going on around you… & thank Him. Let your heart feel the blessing that is JESUS.
My Christmas Prayer
“Lord, we don’t deserve You. I mean, we are sometimes SO BUSY that it’s hard to even remember that You’re still with us. Thank You for coming… for giving us a JOYFUL & beautiful reason to celebrate this season. You are such a loving gift to us. We can get so wrapped up in everything this season has become & miss the most beautiful, life-changing part. Help our hearts to take some time to reflect on You & to express our gratitude & to somehow point to You & give You the glory You so rightly deserve during this holiday season. THANK YOU. Thank You that Your immense love for us demanded that You rescue us. You couldn’t bear to leave us to ourselves because Your love for us is so complete & all-consuming. You ARE love. Thank You that despite how often we disregard or disrespect You, whether stubbornly intentional or naively unaware… You still love us so fiercely & Your love for us cannot be drowned out by anything. How deep, how wide, & how GREAT Your love for us is. Thank You for this Christmas & all it means to me & to all of us. THANK YOU. Amen.”
Merry Christmas!
These are my reflections this Christmas as I seek to remember the reason we all have to celebrate Christmas this year & every year to come! Amen!
Merry Christmas Beautiful! I pray that you realize just how much He loves you & is always with you, no matter what. He loves you so much!
Shine HOPE this Christmas by pointing to Him as your hope & joy this holiday. <3
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Northern Lights Studs (India)
Empower Women out of extreme poverty with these beautiful Northern Lights Studs from India (& Nairobi Necklace from Kenya). Fashion as a force for GOOD!
These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. (Flash-plated posts.)
Artisan Information:
The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
When I started my blog over 2 years ago, ONE of my biggest concerns (shared by my husband) was that I would never be able to stay consistently committed to it.
To be quite honest, I am the type of person who gets really excited about a new project, gets invested in said project, but when the excitement wanes, the project begins collecting dust(usually all within the same month).
I am pretty responsible when given tasks to complete, unless those tasks are assigned by myself, because I don’t seem to mind disappointing myself & it ends up becoming a problem with my productivity sometimes… (& my husband, although gracious with me, knows it, too).
Meal planning & house-cleaning get pushed back far too often, leaving a then overwhelming obstacle that I just want to avoid altogether. It’s a bit of a problem & I have been working to ask God to help me in that area.
So, when God put this website & blog on my heart, knowing I would need to commit weekly, whether I felt inspired, motivated, in a sharing mood, or NOT… I was not so sure.
Warts & All
I prayed about this concern, asking God to help me know whether to pay for & start the training I needed to create my website, knowing all too well my infamous tendency to quit when the going got tough. I was afraid I couldn’t keep up with it… knowing that if I was grumpy or busy or feeling so incredibly lazy one week, I would need to still show up, warts & all.
I wondered how I could write a blog, run a website, & host a community on social media, knowing I was so fickle… wondering how I could possibly stay consistent AND authentic while doing it.
It seemed an impossible combination, seeing my personal track record.
Not About MY Glory, But HIS
But in my asking God about it, seeking His wisdom & guidance, He reminded me of one very beautiful fact: this blog was not to be about my glory, but HIS.
In other words, seeing as I am JUST HUMAN, there would undoubtedly be weeks I didn’t want to care or didn’t want to scrap together an ounce of effort & where I just wanted to drop it all for some tv binging sessions… but that I could show up & be real about it ALL… because it’s NOT about ME being great, but about HIM being GREAT.
Let’s Get Real
He encouraged me that I could show up for my weekly videos or blogs like a complete hot mess, not having gotten any sleep, grumpy & grouchy, wishing I could avoid any & all responsibility, NOT caring about anyone but myself because I am feeling selfish & lazy… & say, “Listen ladies, I didn’t want to be here today. I wanted to tell God off & say, ‘I don’t wanna!’ like a whiny toddler throwing a hissy fit. I don’t feel like I have myself together AT ALL today & I honestly feel like I would rather just quit. But, GOD. In all of my mess, in all of my unwilling, stubborn bad attitude, I knew deep down that God’s got me, even when I don’t. So, I asked Him to help me show up for Him & help me point to Him. Because, ladies, it’s not about you or I having ourselves together, it’s about Him having full control, even when we feel out of control. We can trust Him EVEN when we fail completely.”
Even when.
Only He Has It All Together
I don’t have to pretend to have it all together, because I don’t. I am afraid of vulnerability & have to ask God for courage. I am lazy & prefer doing the bare minimum & have to ask God for the extra push of strength & motivation to trust Him more. I have insecurities where I need to ask God to help me trust Him for my confidence.
And there began my confidence to begin my blog, even in all of my known personal weaknesses, knowing that even if I want to quit or fail embarrassingly, I can always turn to Him to help me & to be my strength & my role is to JUST SHOW UP.
Up to Him
Because it’s not about me coming to you, the epitome of what a Christian woman “should” look like. It’s about me coming to you as a FELLOW weak, prone to wander, limited human being, warts & all & pointing to our Almighty, Always Faithful, INFINITE, Limitless, PERFECT God who loves us all so, so much.
Prayer… talking to God… is about admitting you NEED Him… In everything big & small.
It’s okay to need Him. It’s okay to SHOW you need Him because we were ALL MADE TO NEED Him.
Don’t Bow Out, Just Show Up
So, the next time you are tempted to bow out because you just CAN’T… & next time you want to turn down a project God has put on your heart because you don’t think you can live up to it… understand that it’s okay to put yourself out there for a project you feel you can’t do… because He will help you as you lean into Him in trying to follow His lead through life.
Shine HOPE by being transparent, by allowing your human weakness to show, by JUST SHOWING UP, & by remembering that it’s about God’s glory, not yours.
He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Nairobi Necklace from Kenya!
Fashion as a force for Good! Empower women in Kenya out of extreme poverty by getting your own gorgeous Nairobi Necklace from Kenya!
Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.
In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. We appreciate your continued support!
Have you ever felt like you don’t measure up to anyone else’s expectations?
Do you ever feel like the oddball? Or is it just me…?
Maybe you feel too loud… or too quiet.
Maybe your interests don’t seem to line up with anyone else’s & you feel like you don’t quite “fit in” anywhere?
Maybe you never were that good at sports or maybe you lack a green thumb or maybe your craft DIY projects look more like a 3-year old who got into the craft supplies.
Maybe everyone else seems to mingle with ease, while you stuff your face with whatever food they have to offer, sitting as far away from the awkward social interactions as possible. (*coughdonethatcough*)
Have you ever felt like the “ugly duckling” of the group? Like you don’t fit in & don’t measure up & just don’t belong anywhere?
I have. Oh, I have.
I grew up feeling super shy. I know, some of you may not believe that, but boy is it true!
I was so desperate to fit in & “belong.”
“Do You Like Me? Check Yes or No.”
I remember being in 4th grade & I felt so ashamed that I didn’t have a crush on anyone because that seemed to be the talk of every girl on the playground, so I picked a guy at random whom I thought was cute & would “gush” about him so I would feel part of the normal girl crowd.
Lame, I know.
Don’t worry… On the last day of school, since I no longer would have a playground circle of girls discussing their current crushes… I wrote him a note that said I decided I didn’t like him anymore.
OUCH, I know… but honestly, I think he was probably quite relieved because boy were my “love” notes LAME. “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” He ALWAYS checked NO… or more like circled it several times, highlighted it, & drew several arrows toward it. (Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but sadly too close to reality, haha.)
My Super Power Is Being Socially Awkward
Maybe you’re thinking, “Well Michelle, that was 4th grade. EVERYONE was awkward at that age.” Well, I wish I could say it stopped back then.
It’s ridiculous the things we can do to be liked, isn’t it? And trust me, the examples of mine did NOT end in 4th grade, although I REALLY wish I could honestly say that they did.
A majority of my most embarrassing moments, which I can usually laugh about now, were due to me just trying too dang hard to be liked by everyone else.
“Please Like Me!!”
Even my dating years consisted of me trying tirelessly to be the “perfect” girlfriend while trying to NEVER assert my own opinions or feelings, afraid to be considered too much of a burden.
I kept my real self locked away & I tried to be everything they could ever want: flirty, fun, supportive, good listener, funny, laughing at their jokes, agreeing with everything, trying to match my interests to theirs, wanting so badly to just be accepted & wanted, not realizing I wasn’t even giving them a fair chance to do so, locking the real me away.
The silly things we do to be loved. And wanted.
Trying Too Hard
I used to hear things about God’s love for me & never really got it. I would hear that my “identity is in Him & not in me trying to be enough.” I didn’t know what that meant either.
A majority of my life can be summed up by me trying to be what I thought everyone wanted or expected from me… always feeling like I never quite got it right.
Basically, the phrase “trying too hard” was an accurate summary of my life.
It makes people uncomfortable when they can tell you’re trying too hard. And yet, I didn’t feel I was good enough on my own & was always over-compensating.
The Things We Do to be Liked
Maybe you read this & think, “Michelle, you are exaggerating… I have NEVER felt this way about you!” Well, thanks for lying… haha… but really, some of you may be thinking, “Oh yeah, I definitely have gotten that vibe from you. This explains so much.”
But, while I still struggle with insecurity & feeling like I fit in sometimes, I have grown SO MUCH in this area because of one beautiful & simple thing… I started understanding those 2 things I mentioned about God & how that impacts where I “FIT.”
Where We Stand with God
I think a lot of us who grow up in church take for granted “churchy” phrases they may have heard their whole lives, while never really grasping their significance or even their meaning, while those who don’t know Jesus just have no clue, period.
So, let’s take some time to hopefully remind us all, including awkward, lovely me, where we stand with God… to hopefully help us overcome this strong, pulling desire to be liked, wanted, & to fit in with those around us.
How Do We KNOW God Loves Us?
Let’s start at the beginning… the before-the-world-even-BEGAN, beginning. Our Alpha & Omega God.
God knew He was going to make you even then. He knew all the ways you would fail, in the small & big things. He knew. And yet, not only did His plan to make you remain, but He also made sure there would be a plan in place, through Jesus coming to die on our behalf & rise again victorious, to make you right before God again & restore that relationship FOR you. Our Creator, Redeemer God.
Then He made Earth, full of beauty & all you would need to survive, sustaining you & helping you to live a life of JOY. Beautiful sights to behold: sunsets, waterfalls, flowers, animals, stars, oceans, mountains, fish, birds… Smells that delight the senses… Textures that comfort, relax, refresh, invigorate… Sounds that soothe, uplift, encourage, comfort, surprise… Tastes that make you mmmmmmmm. He made all that possible for you to enjoy. Yes, it is broken by sin, but there is still SO MUCH beauty to enjoy. Our Wise, Creative & Lavishing-of-Love God.
How Do We Determine Our TRUE Identity?
Then He made YOU, individual, unique, crafted by hand, knit together in your mother’s womb(Psalm 139:13-16), designed by GOD. He made not only humanity, but YOU… specifically YOU. Your identity is wrapped up in the fact that He made you with a design & a purpose that He worked out for you ahead of time & that you will discover more as you lean into His guidance & lead… Our Creator & Father God.
AND, He sent Jesus to die on your behalf, before you were even born, so that when you realized your need for Him, He would be ready with open arms to welcome you home… Jesus having paid the price of your rebellion & mistakes & all you have to do is ACCEPT that gift to you. Your identity is wrapped up in His grace for you, paying your debt & making you whole once more. Our Redeemer, Rescuer God.
With You Every Step of Life
AND, He had the Bible written for you. His Word. To us. Instructions, advice, & a story laced throughout with love & redemption for a people prone to wander. A people like you & me. His grace is His message (John 11:25). We can TRUST His Word & OBEY it because it was ALL meant to show us what is the BEST of life. A life lived with trusting love for our All-Knowing, All-Wise, LOVING God.
AND, He doesn’t stop there. He HELPS you with that plan He has just for you… your unique story, written by God. He offers His GRACE. He offers His wisdom & strength & hope & peace & love & joy & guidance & He makes a way. He is MASTER of the IMPOSSIBLE. He turns ashes to beauty (Isaiah 61:3) & He works ALL THINGS together for the GOOD of those who love Him & are trusting His way (Romans 8:28). Our Author, Sustainer, Helping God.
The Grand Splendor Awaits!
And when you die, if you have but accepted God’s fully paid for grace, through Jesus’ sacrifice on your behalf, you are welcomed with OPEN ARMS into a place called Heaven, where there is no more death, no more tears, & no more sadness or grief(Revelation 21:4). A place full of wonder & awe, praising this all-powerful God who loves us so incredibly much. Our King of kings, Lord of lords GOD.
And that is why you can accept His love for you & trust that He’s got you. Because it’s not based at all on whether you are good enough, but that HE IS.
Far Beyond Understanding, But Fulfilling Beyond Words
He LOVES you beyond anything we can ever understanding & so far outside anything another person could try to mimic. He sees you completely, past & present, hidden & revealed, pride & shame, EVERYTHING… & He says, “I love you. Come to me.”
How much FREEDOM this gives us! Hallelujah!
I don’t have to be what I think others want of me… I just have to be who God MADE me to be… & if I don’t know what that is because my whole perception of myself is built up around what others have expected or told me… trauma & fears… & all my mistakes… I (& you) can go to Him & ASK HIM.
Asking God How HE Made Me
“God, I don’t know how you made me, to be honest. This person says I need to be like this & culture says I need to be like that. Friends all do this & society seems to believe this… I don’t know what’s true about me anymore. I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM. God, please show me. If You MADE me, then ONLY YOU would really know who I am & who I am meant to be. Help me sift through the lies. Help me to see the truth… Your design. Help me know how to trust You. Help me see the me You made me to be. I am tired of always trying to live up to everything. It’s exhausting & confusing & feels so fake. Help me know the truth. Set me free from expectations. Help me have the confidence to stand on who YOU say I am & not need anyone or anything else to define me or give me my worth. Help me, please, Father, Creator, Loving GOD. Help me. I love you. AMEN.”
I prayed that more times than I can count growing up. I got so tired of the game to fit in. I didn’t know who I was. I was lost & tired of holding up the façade I thought others expected from me.
I URGE YOU… pray similarly. If you have resonated with a single thing I’ve said today… pray that prayer.
His Word & Design Trump ALL ELSE
Let HIM shape you. Let HIS design define you. Let HIS love for you, a love that could never be used up or exhausted, let it FILL YOU.
You don’t need to impress me because the God who made you is so overwhelmed with love for you that He made you, knowing you’d leave Him, set a plan in place to redeem you, & has a story written singularly just for you, WITH HIS HELP as you lean into Him, all wrapped in His love, strength, hope, joy, grace, wisdom, understanding, & power.
He’s got you, babe. Oh, how He’s got you!
Stand in Confidence!
Let Him love you & then shine His grace to this hurting, bleeding world. It’s THE most valuable use of life to shout the praises of the One who made the world, saved the world, & loves it in His infinite grace, welcoming us all to come & accept His beautiful design & to dismiss the rest of that mess in which we tend to cling to so tightly.
He’s got you.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Bombolulu Earrings from Kenya
Fashion as a force for Good with these Bombolulu Earrings from Kenya & Sea Glass Necklace from Jordan. Get your own & empower women around the world!
These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.
Artisan Information:
In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions allow me to continue encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win win!
It started November 1, before the sun rose, driving to the airport way earlier than I am comfortable waking & then saying goodbye to my Mom & brother-in-law who so graciously drove us to the airport so incredibly early.
My hubs & I had just spent about a month with our families in the States, cautious & careful to social distance, wear masks, & not go out to socialize/shop as much as we’re used to, all in the name of healthy precaution.
Arriving Back in Japan
After a grueling, sleepless 24-hour journey from my parents’ home back to Japan, we had to go through COVID screening at immigration in Japan. We were herded like cattle through different COVID immigration checkpoints & then asked to go stand in a booth similar to that of a voting booth & spit a specific amount of saliva into a test tube type thing.
Then came a sit-down with immigration to cover where we had been & where we planned to go within Japan (with details about how we planned to get there, aka NOT public transportation.) Jamie handled most of that, with me answering questions as I was asked.
Restlessly Settling In
We received emails that our tests were negative, meaning we were cleared to take the shuttle to the military base there in Tokyo, where we would be taken directly to our quarantine room. It was much like a hotel room, except as a small apartment, with a tv, basic amenities, & a kitchen.
We spent Monday night through Wednesday morning in our Tokyo base quarantine room, ordering takeout online for every meal, as we had little else to choose from, trying to pass the time away as sanely as possible with our growing “cabin fever.”
Finally Heading Home
Then came the Wednesday morning bus from Tokyo to Misawa. We had to order food beforehand because for this 10+ hour bus ride, we were not permitted to exit the bus for any reason. There was a surprisingly large bathroom on the bus (think ferry boat bathroom versus the tiny airplane bathroom we were expecting). The bus was crammed full of people coming from who knows where outside of Japan. Our hopes for avoiding COVID were teetering.
Once we arrived in Misawa, we were divided & directed to smaller vehicles, depending on where we all lived, ours being the off-base van.
When we got home on Wednesday night, we knew the drill… no leaving our house or coming into contact with any other person, for any reason, for the rest of our 14-day quarantine upon arriving in Japan.
The Symptoms Began
Thursday, a mild sore throat began.
Friday, my symptoms multiplied. I had a mild fever of 100.3 & had chills, a headache, fatigue, aches, minor nausea, diarrhea (sorry, for too much information? (tmi)), & a mild dry cough.
I tried to convince myself that it was just my body adjusting from all the travel as well as the sudden drop in temperature upon stepping off the bus in Misawa after sun fall.
But somewhere deep down, something didn’t feel right.
Monitor & Wait…
Don’t worry, we responsibly called the COVID response line & reported it. But because my symptoms were pretty mild & my fever was low & short-lived, coupled with the fact that I was in quarantine already & would be tested in less than a week anyway, I was told to monitor my condition until my test & to report in again if it worsened to any of the more serious symptoms.
Fortunately, it didn’t get more serious & I got better, with only a lingering minor headache, fatigue, & mild diarrhea (sorry, again) remaining. I was hopeful.
But then, I completely lost my sense of smell, a telltale symptom of COVID-19… & I mean COMPLETELY. I tested it with essential oils &… NOTHING.
Getting the Test… Getting the Results… I’m Positive
On day 10 of quarantine, we drove on base to get tested, instructed never to open our windows or get out of our car for any reason, except the slight lowering of the window for the test specifically.
We were hopeful. Just a few short days until life, as normal, resumes!
Day 11 of quarantine, we got the call. I had COVID.
The Rush of Instructions & Contact-Tracing Calls Began
We were instructed that I should pack a bag & be ready to leave my house in the next few hours to be taken into isolation. We later found out that Jamie was also required to do the same, separate from me, as well as everyone who was on that bus into Misawa.
Because they didn’t want any human in our home before it could be thoroughly decontaminated, the positive was them allowing me to bring my kitty as a companion during this isolation.
I was scared. I was nervous. I didn’t want to go. I had no idea what lay ahead of me in terms of isolation & I didn’t want to do it alone. I wanted my husband, Jamie, to come with me & help me know how to navigate the unknown.
In my preparations to move into isolation, I would intermittently stop prepping & cry into a pillow, wishing it was all just a bad dream. This information I had received also meant I would be spending my birthday alone, in an isolation room away from home. I was so grieved by it all. I wanted to stay home.
The Isolation Began
Moving into my new, temporary, empty apartment, things only got worse… No kitchen supplies, no TV, a rock-hard mattress, & carpets covered with all kinds of stains (one of which appeared to be old dog urine that never got cleaned up & was crusted into the carpet).
I felt despair wash over me upon seeing my new “home” & I cried as Jamie stepped out of my room after helping me bring in my bags.
The isolation began.
The Sleepless First Night Alone
That night, alone & cold & on the hardest mattress I have ever “slept” on (& I typically prefer firmer mattresses!), I felt so sad & if it weren’t for the gross carpets, would have dropped to my knees & let the sadness envelope me.
I didn’t sleep that first night, after a night of tossing & turning, where the hard mattress left me sorer with every passing hour.
In Comes the Cavalry!
To my delight, a friendly acquaintance (AKA Absolute HERO) offered me a spare mattress topper the next day & church friends were quick to bring food, paper products, plasticware, soap, pots, pans, water, etc., coming to the quick rescue with so much generous support & encouragement. (Someone even brought me a tv to use!)
I felt overwhelmed by all the love pouring in from unexpected places!
Living in Isolation
Over the next several days, with no symptoms, I was visited twice daily for vitals checks by various nurses.
I spent the days doing puzzles, playing Minecraft, reading, talking to Jamie on video chat, & being soothed by a cute cat snuggled alongside me.
Since it was my birthday week, I made one of my favorite meals, called Creamy Cheesy Chicken (think creamed parmesan cheese, garlic, & cream cheese over chicken & broccoli, with rice—YUM) to help cheer me up.
The Gift of Friendship
My friends were so generous with gifts & words of kindness flooded in from unexpected people who just wanted me to know I had their support if I needed it.
I will tell you, you don’t realize how blessed you are until you are in great need & HAVE to ask for help. They were all so generous with their time & efforts, even treating us to meals occasionally or bringing me cheerful birthday gifts of things to help me pass the time like puzzles, books, bath stuff, nail stuff, coloring supplies, etc. I was blown away by their kind generosity.
Anticipating My “Guaranteed” Release!
With COVID-19, apparently you are only contagious 10 days after symptoms begin & the COVID team/Misawa base decided to play it safe & have me stay an added few days. I would be free soon enough.
November 18 was my birthday & while I dreaded the idea of a lonely birthday locked away in my tower, I asked God to help me enjoy it & that’s exactly what He did. I had my favorite foods, spent a lot of time video-chatting my family & Jamie, played with some of the stuff generously brought by friends, & even was brought candles & a lighter for my brownies, with sparkling cider. It was a pretty okay day.
The next day was packing day. I would be released the next day. It was a lot of work, but I got everything washed & cleaned up & loaded in my bags & all my bags were ready & waiting for my authorization guaranteed to come the next day.
Except it didn’t.
The Deliberation
Bright & early I received a call from the COVID response team telling me my release was being debated. Even though I had had absolutely no symptoms for about a week & because it had been 2 weeks since the start of my symptoms, I was no longer contagious… they weren’t sure about releasing me because they never took my temperature or saw my symptoms for themselves (AKA they had no proof) & because I was not asked to be tested when the symptoms began, they weren’t sure they could count my word.
I sat & waited anxiously all day for the deliberation to come to a conclusion. Bags by the door, I was ready to go.
Finally, that evening of the 20th, I got the call from an authority in public health.
My release was declined. I would be locked in for another week.
As the Despair Settled Over Me…
I went through the motions of trying to be polite & express my understanding of their answer while my head swirled in bewilderment. I had been guaranteed I was okay to leave today… & yet, I wasn’t. I didn’t understand how a “guaranteed release” could turn into another WEEK here…!
When I finally was able to hang up, I let my hand & phone drop to my lap as I stared at the wall in front of me.
And then I just cried.
Together Again
I knew my husband would be slightly excited because that meant we could finally be reunited. He had tested positive several days after our arrival in isolation & would have to stay even longer, but now that I could not leave, their rule of us staying separate was no longer a requirement. (Before I got word of my weeklong extension, when Jamie tested positive, COVID authority said that even though we were BOTH positive, we could not isolate together because I would have to stay the additional 1.5 weeks with him if I did? We never understood why.)
But even though I was glad to see my husband again, I was supposed to be going home & now I was just moving across the hall for my FOURTH week of quarantine.
Defeated
The first day was spent in a daze. DEFEATED was the word that described how I felt. I didn’t want to hope for anything anymore because I couldn’t handle any more disappointment.
We spent Thanksgiving in our little apartment, with our cat, celebrating with a mounded plate of delicious food, thanks to those same wonderful church friends who had been taking such good care of us through all of this isolation & frustration.
1.5 Weeks Later…
It was a rough month, but today, right now, I am writing to you from my couch in my living room in my house… & I am thinking THANK YOU, GOD.
But maybe not for the reason you may be thinking right now.
Not just Thank You, God for being HOME FINALLY, (but that is definitely part of it—I almost was beginning to think they meant never to let us leave), but also because of all the many blessings He has brought me during this rough month of November.
ALL HE HAS PROVIDED!
He provided someone willing to rush over a mattress topper to give me comfortable sleep.
He provided friends who rushed to fulfill our every need when we couldn’t take care of it ourselves.
He gave me a birthday filled with love from friends & even unexpected people.
He provided generous friends who brought us a bountiful Thanksgiving meal & even a centerpiece to liven up the place.
He provided us a 9th floor view of amazing sunsets over Misawa.
He provided approval to have my cat as my companion, where he normally sleeps in his own space, he spent every night cuddled against my legs on the bed & every day snuggled next to me on the couch.
He provided video calls/technology to help me stay connected when I was all alone.
He provided PEACE when I felt peace was ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE.
God PROVIDES.
Memories Better Than Expected
Was it fun? Nope. Would I repeat it? No.
But I will leave it behind me with much fonder memories than I ever expected I could. Memories of kindness, generosity, unexpected love, & a peace that made absolutely no sense in the midst of some very tough days.
And on those days when I was so upset & anxious & frustrated & alone & tired & aching & sleepless, when I cried out to God… He showed up EVERY time by filling me with HIS PEACE, letting me know He’s got me & He’s got everything under control.
Take Those Cries to God
My call to you is this: Maybe you didn’t miss out on the entire month of November, get COVID, or get isolated from even your husband, or maybe your month has been EVEN WORSE… but whatever the case, take those cries to God.
Because, when things seem impossible… things such as peace & HOPE… God is master of the impossible. He is King of kings, Lord of lords, Creator, Redeemer, Beginning, & the End, All-Knowing, All-Present, All-Understanding, All-Wise, Sovereign, LOVING GOD.
CRY. OUT. TO. HIM.
He is worth it every freakin’ time!
Shine HOPE by turning to Him when all seems hopeless & lost, letting Him be the hope that fills your heart when you feel you have none.
He’s got you, babe. He’s got you.
Now… it’s time for me to go sigh a HUGE sigh of relief, because you know what? I’m HOME! Praise God!
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week.
A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for over TWO years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Radiant Necklace Set
Fashion as a force for GOOD! This 3-Piece Radiant Necklace Set (only 1 shown) is a great way to empower women in India to rise out of poverty!!
On-trend set of 3 layered necklaces(only ONE shown) that can be worn together or separately, featuring a labradorite stone, hammered discs, & a *blue topaz crystal drop*.
Artisan Information:
In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. Every purchase provides women with income, access to healthcare, education for their children, & care for elderly family members. Many of these artisans have been exploited by sweatshops in the past but are now receiving fair wages as artisans in safe & caring fair-trade workshops.
Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!
How You Can Help:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
