Happy Holiday Season!

Happy Holidays, Lovely! I hope that your Thanksgiving was meaningful, relaxing, & special.

As we look forward to Christmas, I thought it would be fun to share some fun holiday traditions that can leave a lasting impact on those with whom you share them.

(I really should have talked about this last month, so we could all practice some of them during Thanksgiving, but let’s tuck these away for next year, as well as enjoying some of them during the Christmas season.)

Give Yourself Grace

As most of us are probably aware, the holidays are known for their hustle & bustle. There is an overall rush to make the holidays special & memorable to those near & dear to us.

But let’s take a moment to step back, take a deep breath, & consider some (possibly new) traditions that can add an extra special touch to our holidays.

And yes, that could include going for a Rotisserie Chicken this year versus a turkey if you’re just cooking for one or two of you (I know that’s something my hubs & I do when we don’t have plans with friends).

It’s important to give ourselves a break sometimes so that the holidays are more about making special memories than looking forward to the stress being over when it’s all done, am I right?

Giving Thanks

For Thanksgiving, it can be easy to think about the “feast fit for kings” that so many of us look forward to, or even remembering the beginnings for the lives of the settlers.

But for me, the overshadowing theme for Thanksgiving is just what its name implies—giving thanks.

Not just giving thanks to our family & our friends, but also to those whose service makes our lives better: military servicemen & women, janitors, customer service support, nurses, doctors, & so many more.

Other people doing hard jobs to improve our lives day-to-day deserve our special thanks, most certainly.

But the One who deserves our thanks most of all, is our great God.

Amidst the troubles of this world, amidst our rebellion & sin, God sent Christ to pay our debt on the cross so that we could find redemption & grace. He offers us strength & peace when we ask of Him. He loves us fiercely & unconditionally. He is Lord of All, Creator of All, & our great redeemer.

So, during the Thanksgiving season, take time to show extra appreciation for your family & friends, & for those working to serve you, whether it be the cashier at the checkout, your gym instructor, your mailman, barista, or the janitor cleaning the restrooms. But most of all, remember to thank God!

Say, “Thank You,” a little more regularly (& then maybe make it a habit in every day).

Making Moments Meaningful

Here are a couple specific Thanksgiving traditions my husband & I have enjoyed with our family & friends.

When gathering for the Thanksgiving meal, we take turns reading compiled verses about Thanks-giving, taking time to recognize our God in Heaven who is the author of all good things.

Here are some verses that we have used in the past:

1. “Let us come into His presence with thanksgiving;” (Psalm 95:2a)
2. “with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6b)
3. “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
4. “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” (2 Corinthians 9:15)
5. “When you have eaten & are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land He has given you.” (Deuteronomy 8:10)
6. “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful & thankful.” (Colossians 4:2)
7. “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, & so worship God acceptably with reverence & awe.” (Hebrews 12:28)
8. “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; & be ye thankful.” (Colossians 3:15)
9. “Now thanks [be] unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ,” (2 Corinthians 2:14)
10. “And Jesus took the loaves; & when He had given thanks, He distributed to the disciples,” (John 6:11)
11. “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever!” (Psalm 107:1)

You can even make this into a memorable keepsake for your friends & family to take home with them! Add thanks-themed verses to a document, include a fun border, & print a copy for each guest. Then, after passing them out & taking turns reading aloud, they can have a nice reminder of the many reasons to give thanks year-round!

(For extra fun, cut out leaves from construction paper & add one of each of the verses to each leaf (& maybe even add a little glitter, *wink).

Don’t Just Say It, Pray It

Another tradition that my hubs & I have done with friends is instead of going around & saying one thing we’re thankful for, we all hold hands & take turns praying our praise to God for what He is doing, has done, & will do in each of our lives.

(And for those who maybe don’t feel comfortable praying out loud, make sure to say that it’s okay to simply squeeze the hand of the person next to you on your turn if you would like to pass.)

It has always been such a heartfelt time of unity when we have come together to openly praise God by praying together. You really leave feeling more like family.

Can you think of another meaningful tradition that refocus our hearts on giving thanks to God & being a testimony of His love & power to those with whom we share our Thanksgiving holiday?

Remembering Christ in Christmas

For Christmas, there are so many great traditions out there that I simply could never touch on them all, but here are some ideas to try!

Someone recently pointed out to me that Luke has 24 chapters in it. My friend’s idea for a new tradition was to spend every day in December reading one chapter of Luke together as a family & finishing off by re-reading the story of Christ’s birth on Christmas morning.

What a great idea to keep our hearts & minds focused on Christ all season long by reading through Christ’s ministry on earth & His sacrifice & resurrection!

The Nativity Ornaments Search

If you have young children (or grandchildren), another fun tradition is to have tree ornaments for the different people in the Christmas story & as you tell the story, have the children search & find the different ornaments that represent each part of the story!

What a great way to make the Christmas story fun & engaging!

(If you have multiple children, you can even have several sheep ornaments as well as a shepherd, or barn animals, or multiple angels, etc. so they each have something to search for. Or, simply have them take turns being the searcher.)

Being a Light for Christ for Christmas

Many Christmas traditions can also involve serving those around us. Here are some (of many!) ways you can represent Christ by serving those around you this Christmas season (& all year round, even!)

1. Babysit for a single parent so they have time to Christmas shop (or relax!)
2. Volunteer at a shelter
3. Serve food to the homeless
4. Read the Christmas Story to individuals at a nursing home or hospital
5. Collect & distribute warm clothing & food gift cards donations for the homeless
6. Bring cookies & carols to hurting families (struggling through cancer, recent injury, or the death of a loved one during Christmastime)
7. Give money to a local charity
8. Send an extra monetary gift to a missionary
9. Sponsor a child in need with gifts or monthly sponsorship
10. Send letters to deployed military.

There are so many ways to spread the love & hope of Christ during the holidays–Get creative!

Which traditions stood out to you? Do you or your family do other traditions that point to the love & hope of Christ? Let me know about them!

I hope that this season (& all year round) brings you closer to each other & closer to Christ. God bless.

Spread love, Beautiful, & Shine HOPE this Christmas season (& all year long)!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back on Monday morning EST, for next week’s burst of encouragement for your week. Love you!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Gatsby Necklace

Empowering Women in India Out of Poverty!

Dazzle in this faceted silver glass beaded collar necklace. Pair it with a little black dress or jeans & heels.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, & adult literacy programs! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Easy Isn’t Always Best

We all appreciate a good laugh, but should those laughs be at the expense of the church?

I know that it is easy for us sometimes to see the way it *should* be, biblically, & take jabs at the obvious differences we see in many churches across America.

Satire is a striking way to contrast these differences that we recognize & since we cannot address every church who is a culprit of specific misrepresentations of Christ, it can be tempting to try a light-hearted approach to speak out, such as satire.

But is this the best approach?

Imperfect, But Loved by God

Is the Church (in general) perfect? By all means, no. The Church is made up of flawed human beings. As we surrender certain areas of our lives for God to perfect & grow, God works in us, but we do not become perfect just because we have submitted ourselves to Him.

Will the Church ever be perfect? Only when we reach heaven.

Is it frustrating to have the imperfections of the Church on display for every passerby who may not know the difference of what should be, according to God’s Word, the Bible? YES!

But that does not necessarily mean we should turn to poking jabs at the church.

His Bride

Let’s look at it in this light… The Church (as a whole—aka all Christians) is considered the “Bride of Christ.”

On Earth, Christ’s Bride, the Church, is imperfect… but the blood of Christ has redeemed her & has made her whole & new. His blood covers her offenses. Christ died to redeem her life.

So how do you think it feels for Christ to see His bride mocked openly to the general public?

Easy But Not Necessarily Right

Yes, I know this may seem like I just don’t know how to take a joke, but even though I have had a laugh at some of the satirical sites’ posts, the laugh is followed quickly by a cringe of regret.

Sometimes it is easy to laugh at a situation, like when someone makes a big, obvious mistake, but that does not mean we necessarily should be laughing at it, for the sake of whose feelings it might hurt.

We Are His-Imperfections & All

We may not understand exactly what it means, but God describes Himself as the Godhead, three in one–God the Father, God the Son, & the Holy Spirit.

God loves His children. We, as Christians, are called God’s dear children. He sees our imperfections. He knows our weaknesses & mistakes. He feels the hurt of our rebellions. And yet, He still sent Christ to die for us.

Christ loves His Bride. We, as part of the Church, are called His bride. He also sees our imperfections. He knows our weaknesses & mistakes. He personally feels the hurt of our rebellions. And yet, He still willingly laid down His life to redeem us.

The Holy Spirit was sent to us after Christ rose from the dead & conquered both sin & death, to guide & comfort us. The Holy Spirit does not force perfection on us immediately. He does not demand the abolishment of every imperfection, weakness, mistake, & rebellion in exchange for the grace gifted by Christ. But, He still continues to gently, patiently guide & lovingly care for us along the way.

Edify & Lift Others Up Where Others Tear Down

You see, we as: children of God, the bride of Christ, & guided by the Holy Spirit, will never be perfect on this side of heaven, but God fiercely loves us & works in & through us with His grace, patience, & long-suffering ALL THE SAME.

God, three in one, IS love.

Instead of focusing on everything wrong in the Church, even if mocking how wrong it is, we should be looking to edify, teach, & lead in Truth & Love.

Instead of preaching to the world everything about the modern church which is incorrect, let us live a demonstration of what God says is correct.

Shine a Light – A Beacon of HOPE

Because, you see, aside from hurting God’s heart, the other danger in using the church as the focus of satirical jokes/mockery is the impact it can have on the Church’s testimony of Christ to this lost & bleeding world.

If the world sees us mocking ourselves, how can they be expected to take us seriously?

We may see the difference between should-be & “is”, but all they see are jokes about what is wrong with Church.

We may see the contrast between God’s definition of the Church & where many churches fall short, but the world only sees our wrongs, mistakes, & inconsistences.

How can we expect the world to trust our testimony, our witness of God’s Truth, Love, & life-changing Grace, if we ourselves mock the Church?

Be a Conduit for Change

But you’re right, we should take a stand. We should speak up. When we see errors in the church, we need to do our part to point the Church into God’s will & Truth.

So how do we do that, if not satire?

Here are some ideas that come to mind.

1. Pray & ask God for wisdom.

Sometimes we’re actually the one in the wrong, but pride has clouded our judgement. It’s important to stop & ask God for His clarification & wisdom before we act on what could be our mistake. A simple misunderstanding on our part can cause embarrassment if we don’t take it to God in prayer first!

Other times, we are correct in our assessment, but we can tend to jump into it with our own imperfect wisdom & ideas while neglecting to take a moment & ask God how to handle the situation in a way that best honors Him & will most effectively correct the situation.

We need to make sure we not only try to help solve the problem, but that we handle it in a gracious, loving way that edifies those involved while also giving honor & glory to God. (*This probably means avoiding blasting your frustrations on social media.)

2. Send an email to the church pastor with your concerns, or schedule a time to talk to him.

It’s always a good idea to go to your pastor one-on-one through email or by scheduling a meeting to discuss your concerns, rather than spreading dissension in the church with your frustrations.

It could turn out to be a misunderstanding, or it could provide opportunity for the pastor’s heart to be stirred to pray for change. Be respectful, but don’t be afraid of discussing your concerns in order to bring God further glory.

Sometimes, the pastor may have gotten caught up being passionate about something & maybe unintentionally misquoted Scripture.

Other times, he may not even be aware of the problem.

And it can even happen that with trying, with good intentions, to accomplish too much, the Church has simply gotten off track & needs a chance to refocus their efforts for the glory of God.

Always pray before meeting or before sending that email!

3. Don’t bash the Church passive-aggressively through social media, friends, or family.

Mistakes happen in the Church. Seeing your own imperfections coupled with God’s relentless love for you should stir in you a sense of graciousness to the mistakes of the Church.

Instead of complaining (which stirs more discontentment but doesn’t actually solve anything),  we should work toward being the solution we see is needed.

Show grace for mistakes & weaknesses.

If it is a serious deviation from Scripture, like the prosperity gospel, for example, we should seek Christian counsel from a mature believer, pray, & seek God’s Word on how we should proceed.

4. If you have received confirmation & peace from God, have followed His leading to help solve the issue, & spoken with the pastor, with no change in sight, maybe it’s time to move on & separate yourself.

This is not speaking to those of us who may get upset at everything we disagree with or don’t particularly like about a church, but to those who genuinely are seeking the Lord for His guidance, wisdom, & will to strive for God’s glory in that situation.

If a church is unwilling to make changes in order to stay in line with Scriptural guidelines, sometimes it is best to remove ourselves from that situation completely.

Satan often disguises himself as an angel of light–in other words, he makes it sound right, but it is so twisted with lies that it becomes a death trap to those who fall into his trap.

Some “churches” are following twisted truth in an effort to make Christianity more appealing to the masses.  While maybe intending to mean well, they are actually leading people away from God.

Know the Truth, Stand for the Truth

Always be diligent in prayer & reading God’s Word, the Bible, so you may have discernment on what is Truth versus what is a lie disguised as Truth. Stay away from “churches” that preach the latter.

If the church is willing to change & refocus to God’s glory, but is struggling, it is important to pray & seek God’s guidance about what part you can play in making that change happen, in order for the church to realign itself with the Truth of God’s Word & see that God gets the glory.

Vague-But Pointing Back to God As the Answer We Need

I am intentionally leaving out specifics because I cannot tell you the perfect go-to answer for every situation. I can only point you to the guidance of God’s Word combined with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

God’s guidance in every particular situation is the only way that is ever flawless in its approach, effective in its follow-through, & deserving of the glory.

So, pray & read His Word.

Don’t Settle

Don’t settle for complaints & passive-aggressive frustrations bubbling underneath or poured out online. Don’t rely on others to speak up. Be a member of the Body of Christ. Speak up & be a part of the change.

You are a member of Christ’s Bride, the Church. Find your part. Seek God’s face.

Let His Truth & Love guide your every decision & motive.

Be the change & Shine HOPE, Beautiful!

Coming Soon

Stay tuned for THIS Thursday morning EST! This week is our monthly Special Feature post (every last Thursday of the month). This is my chance to share something a little different than normal, so make sure you “Join My Tribe” so you don’t miss it!!

Next Monday morning, EST, the next blog post will be up, so make sure to check back then! I look forward to hopefully encouraging you & urging you further into God’s loving arms!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eternity Necklace

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Multiple mix metal chains are hugged by a metal curved tube to create this simple yet elegant piece with a lobster clasp closure.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & they grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

What Does it Mean?

The Bible talks a lot about prayer, so what does prayer mean, why does it matter so much to God, & what does it actually accomplish?

I Thessalonians 5:17 is just two simple words, “Pray continually,” or, as other translations put it, “pray without ceasing,” but what does that actually mean? Are we supposed to pray through every waking moment? Pretty much.

Now wait, before you go thinking something along the lines of, “but what about when I am sleeping? Or doing something else? Or concentrating on something important? How am I supposed to be expected to never cease praying?

In All Things

Now here’s one thought—think about this for a moment. Do you usually have inner dialogue with yourself—Thinking, problem solving, creating, visualizing, dreaming, etc.?

Now imagine this, God sees all of what goes through your mind—at all times. He hears your thoughts constantly. He knows everything about you, even to a subconscious level!

So why not include Him in your thoughts, problem solving, creating, visualizing, dreaming, etc.?

Just Add God

AS thoughts role through your mind, talk to God instead of to yourself. He is a faithful friend & a kind Father, waiting to spend quality time with you.

AS you are thinking through a problem, ask Him to give you wisdom & insight, because He is infinitely wise.

AS you are creating, ask for His inspiration, because He is infinitely creative! Think of all the unique qualities in just the human population alone & the intricacies of the human body. Envision God’s masterpieces in nature like clouds, flowers, snow, mountains, animals, etc.! He is creative!

AS you are visualizing & dreaming, ask for God’s input & thank Him for allowing such beauty & vastness to be imagined in just our minds!

God is pretty amazing at being God. He is humble & kind & loving. He is faithful. He is infinitely wise & creative!

We’re just asked to invite Him into the conversation. Let Him lead you with His able hands &His  loving care for you.

Why Does God Care Whether We Pray?

So why does it matter so much to God that we pray? Doesn’t He already know everything we’re thinking without us telling Him?

Well, yes. But….

To help us grasp an aspect of why prayer matters to God, I once heard the illustration of a child & her mother.

Imagine with me that the child’s teacher calls home every day & tells the mother everything that happened to their child that day, in every detail they could recall… When the child returns home, the mother then inquires about her daughter’s day, only to be met with a hurried, short answer, eager to run off & play.

The mother already knew the answer to her own questions, but she longed to connect with her daughter. How do you think it felt to be snubbed by the child you adore so much? (Maybe some moms already know the feeling from experience!)

Because God Cares About You

You see, not only is it POSSIBLE to pray continually, taking all of our concerns & cares to God, & even though God already knows EVERYTHING before we even tell Him… God WANTS to hear from us. He WANTS connection & relationship with us. He LOVES you!

Maybe we are stressed, anxious, afraid, hurting, etc. God already knows.

But our Loving Father–God– gives rest, peace, strength, power, & protection to those who seek Him out.

He will never force unwanted attention on us, but He will willingly pour it out to those who seek Him.

He wants to comfort you. He wants to figuratively hold you safe in His fortress of protection against the pain in this world. He wants to lift us up to soar like an eagle above the fray. He wants to give us rest.

All He asks is for us to come to Him & talk to Him & ask for His help, guidance, direction, wisdom, strength, hope, peace, love, joy, etc.

What’s the Big Deal?

But what does prayer even accomplish?

First of all, one of the biggest things I have noticed is that the more I pray, the more I feel His presence & peace in my life.

When we don’t pray, God is still working, but we are so distracted scrambling through each moment, too absorbed in our day-to-day chaos to even notice His presence sometimes.

Sometimes, we feel so caught up in our world that we feel like He has vanished & left us to our scramble of chaos.

But when we pray over specific things throughout the day that cause us worry or strain or even a cry for comfort, we are allowing God to show off His love for us.

Instead of His actions being vague, unnoticed background noise to our chaos, they become the foreground in a beautiful display of love & affection for us.

He Longs to Pour Love on Us Continually

It’s sort of like someone following you around trying to give you flowers & chocolates & hugs of comfort & kind words of affection… but we are juggling so much that we keep saying, “yeah yeah, not now,” without noticing their kind gestures for even a moment.

Allow God to permeate your day. Allow time to stop & receive His kind gestures of love & affection. Allow His infinite wisdom to guide & direct you through the crazy. Allow His strength to give you peace in the struggle.

He is constantly trying to show you Himself, so take time to pray through it all & allow Him room to show off His love for you. Allow Him to show you all that He is capable of in the midst of your life.

Prayer lets us see Him work. Prayer gives credit where credit is due–to God–& shines a light of “obviousness” to His workings day-to-day.

Let God Lead, Let God Shine

Allow your burdens to fall at His feet, letting Him be shown off to everyone around you, through your life. Let Him do the leading.

Maybe you have been like me & you have prayed constantly about something for which your heart ached & desired (my recent personal examples are asking to be comfortable & less lonely overseas & also for a child these past 5.5 years).

Maybe you have prayed so many times with no answer that you even feel bitter about praying even once more about it. (Definitely been there!)

Maybe you feel forgotten & hurt by God for allowing a painful situation to happen to you. (Definitely been there, too!)

But listen to me, Beautiful. God cares about you still. He CARES about you more than you can even wrap your head around. And He definitely hasn’t forgotten you & He is definitely NOT mocking you.

God hears you.

God Doesn’t Promise Easy

But listen to this as well, God tells us something that is vital to understand while living on this Earth…

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Notice the phrase, “in this world you WILL have trouble.” (Emphasis added.) God never promises this life will be easy. In fact, He tells us just the opposite.

In this world, there is sin. We are born as sinners. Sin exists & sin hurts.

We are not immune from feeling the affects of sin.

But, God

But God also has another important thing to say in that verse—“But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

You see, He will not promise that you will never face pain or struggle, but He does promise countless times, in the Bible, that He will comfort & strengthen us as we trust in Him… as we PRAY & ask Him to guide us & comfort us along the way.

Learn & Grow & Pray with Effectiveness!

We won’t always get our way, & sometimes that is simply because we aren’t asking the right question.

That is why, along with prayer, we should be learning who God is & what He promises us.

Because God KEEPS His promises 100% of the time & we can pray them with full trust that He will answer us as He promises!

In My Unanswered Prayers, God Worked WONDERS!

In my unanswered prayer for comfort overseas, God taught me that although I am weak & prone to bitterness/wandering from Him, His grace sustains me & His grace covers all of my failings!

In my unanswered prayer to have children these past almost 6 years, God has shown me that I can be fruitful for the next generation by pouring hope into other women who will in turn pass that hope onto all of THEIR children! God KNOWS my heart!!

When I thought He was ignoring me or leaving my prayers unanswered, He was still working. He was waiting for me to trust Him, lay my desires at His throne, & request of Him that His opinion & His guidance take authority over my own earthly wisdom.

He Offers Us So Much More Than We Ask!

He offers us joy in suffering, comfort in trials, strength in weakness & so much more.

So, as we learn more about who His is & what He promises us, through reading & studying His Word to us—the Bible, we can reach out & take claim of those!

We will learn how to pray more effectively the more we know Him & His promises.

Not Today, Satan!

Don’t let Satan trick you into believing that prayer is only before meals, quick & distracted by the lure of warm food. Don’t let him trick you into thinking prayer is only this formal ritual that must be performed or spoken a certain way.

God is with us always. He hears our thoughts. He knows you. So just TALK to Him!

Even in your thoughts, learn to have a conversation with Him throughout your day, letting Him in on your activities & ideas, asking for His direction & wisdom.

And if you struggle or feel resistance, don’t you dare let the devil make you think it ends there—prayer honors God, so claim that Truth & ask God to grow you in prayer! And keep asking!

The more you pray & ask God to help you learn to pray, the more God fans that flame & grows that seed of your desire to know Him.

What Can Prayer Do?

Prayer just means talking to God—out loud or in your thoughts.

Prayer matters because it’s how we see God work & it grows our relationship with Him because He cares so much for us.

Prayer accomplishes SO much because it transfers our worries & cares & struggles & insecurities & weakness to His infinite Love, Wisdom, Strength, Power, & ENOUGHness.

He fills us. He fulfills us. He guides & directs us. He comforts us. He protects us. He listens to us. He LOVES us!

So, talk to Him, Beautiful!

Start the conversation & SHINE HOPE!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning at 6am EST for more encouragement!

Also, next week will feature this month’s Special Feature post, shared every last Thursday of the month. This is my chance to share with you something a little different than the usual, so you can see a different side of me. Sometimes I share short stories, sometimes poetry, other times I will share about life in Japan, etc., so make sure to check it out!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Empowering Women in Jordan & India Out of Poverty!

This necklace features a silver-plated chain with a sea glass charm. *Sizes & colors of glass vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. These men balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles.

Because of their cleanup efforts of the beaches at the Red Sea, these women now upcycle glass from local restaurants. The glass is then tumbled with water & sand from the Red Sea.

Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Let’s Shine Some Light in the Dark

Hello there, Beautiful.

Let’s take an opportunity to see things in new light. Let’s shine hope into a desperate situation. Let’s walk away from this with a new sense of hope for each new day, together.

Maybe…

If you are like me, maybe you feel a child-shaped hole in your heart.

Maybe you have spent countless hours with tears streaming your face, wondering why you can’t seem to have this child that your heart aches for so longingly.

Maybe you feel hurt by God, that maybe He is punishing you for your past or that maybe He just doesn’t trust you with a child.

Maybe you tell yourself you don’t need kids, just so that the bitter sadness doesn’t keep you from living each day. Maybe some days you realize this thing you tell yourself is a lie, & you cry.

Maybe you beg & plead & wonder if God can hear you.

Maybe you feel forgotten.

Maybe you feel as if your prayers go ignored or denied.

Maybe you wonder if God cares about this child-shaped hole in your heart.

Maybe.

If you are anything like me, a combination of all of those thoughts have drifted into or settled into your heart & mind.

This Doesn’t Feel Perfect

Maybe, like me, you have even felt guilt for being mad at God, for feeling like maybe He doesn’t care about your hurting heart. Maybe you feel guilt at your distrust in His plan.

You know He is perfect. You know His will is perfect. You know He is Good & He is Love.

And yet, this doesn’t feel perfect. This doesn’t feel good or loving at all.

And maybe that realization hurts your heart a little more than you’re willing to admit out loud.

Hope in the Darkness

But, Dear one, there is hope in the midst of this darkness. I promise you that.

I have been on a five-year journey of these emotions & thoughts plaguing the back of my mind. I have had five years of denial that my bitterness has grown in this hole in my heart, in place of trust in God’s perfect will, plan, Goodness, & love.

I don’t know if I am barren. I am told that everything looks good & we are cleared by the doctors for having a baby, & yet five years of attempts have left us childless.

I have had tests & ultrasounds & taken supplements to help… & yet nothing.

I have obsessed over temperature charting & ovulation testing… & yet nothing.

I have cried & begged God to answer my heart’s cry… & yet nothing.

For God’s Glory

I even wanted a child for the main purpose of raising them to be a light of God’s hope into this world… wanting to glorify God & train the child(ren) how to live a life that honors & glorifies Him so that hope will continue flowing into the next generation, long after I am gone… & yet nothing.

I have felt betrayed by a seeming lack of God’s love & favor. Watching my friends pop kids out continually while I am left… the barren woman.

I am able to push aside my hurt most often to celebrate the new lives being born into the homes of my family & friends, but the ache still lingers.

God Shines Light into the Darkness

But here is the hope, Beautiful one.

In reading through the current Bible study I am attending weekly (& working through the corresponding homework each day for the study), I came across something I had never seen before.

The study is Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free.”

The Dreams of Little Girls

In this particular study book, Beth Moore has a whole week dedicated to the dreams of little girls: to get married, be beautiful, have children (or, be fruitful), & to live happily ever after.

That pretty much nails it on the head for all of my girlhood dreams.

But here was her point… each of us have these childhood dreams that we long(ed) for, but that God can satisfy infinitely more than this world can.

Just a Shadow

It is a shadow of the deeper longing of our hearts. It is a hint of what God already promises us.

To get married–we want to feel loved & special & wanted… God fulfills this by loving & cherishing us more than we can ever comprehend. If you don’t believe me, He tells us it’s true & He will show you… Just have faith enough to ask Him to.

To feel beautiful—He thinks we are gorgeous because He created us! And when our time comes, as believers in Christ, to go to heaven, He sees us as His beautiful bride! (also satisfying our marriage desire).

To live happily ever after—(I am purposely skipping to have children (be fruitful) until the end)—but to live happily ever after points to the fact that this earthly existence is merely our temporary home. Sin has marred this world, but heaven will be amazing & beyond imagination! No tears! No sadness! Only joy & love & peace. A TRUE happily ever after!

To Have Children (Or, Be Fruitful)

And back to our childhood dream to have children (or, to be fruitful).

And this really struck me with God’s amazing provision & plan. It showed me His will & Goodness really is perfect. And His love is lacking NOTHING. Praise God!

In Beth’s section about dreaming to have children, Beth spoke to my soul by spending a majority of the lesson addressing barrenness.

There is Hope

Beth didn’t shy away from the hurt that comes with barrenness, but she did point to Scripture & the amazing reality that God has not forgotten us in our temporary (or permanent) inability to have children.

Beth started by having us read about Elizabeth. The Bible called Elizabeth a righteous woman, followed immediately with the fact that “& she was barren.” (Check it out in Luke 1:5-7.)

Then, Mrs. Moore paralleled the Old & New Testaments’ discussion on being fruitful. In the Old Testament, fruitfulness referred to making lots of babies, while in the New Testament, it often referred to being fruitful as spreading your faith in order to lead others to become new Christ-believers!

You see, while God mentions many times how children are a blessing from God & how they are gifts… & while God often talks about leading your children to follow & trust Him… He ALSO spends a significant time talking about sharing the hope of Christ!

Even More!

AND… in Isaiah 54 (you really should stop & go read that right this moment), God says that a barren woman is able to have more children than a married woman. WHAT?

You see, when those who are blessed with children are raising those children, life is a little crazy (in a good way, even if sometimes so difficult), & most of a mom’s time & energy is spent pouring into those little children to raise them to be Christ followers.

But those of us who have no children have a beautiful opportunity.

You see, we can have more “children” than a married woman because while they are raising theirs, we can pour into those women who in turn pour into their own children!

And we can pour into other barren women who in turn can pour into the lives of others!

How great of an opportunity we have to pour hope into all surrounding women & children!

Talk about fruitful!!!

God Forgives! God Never Forsakes Us! God is Good! God is LOVE!

You see, God forgave me for my past when I repented & turned to Him. He forgave me IN FULL. He is not punishing me!

God does not forsake us… He has not forgotten me!

God is GOOD. He knows my heart to raise a child to honor & glorify Him long after I am gone & He is giving me opportunity to do that in an even greater way!

God is LOVE. He knows my heart cry & my longing… & He is giving me a way!!

Lovely, consider these things with me. How wonderful & loving & Good our God is!

He Loves You

He loves you.

He loves YOU.

He. Loves. You.

HE LOVES YOU!!!

Let that sink in for a moment. Read those last few lines again.

Close your eyes with me for a moment. Take a deep breath in… & then out. And let that Truth sink into the crevices of your pained heart.

Let His love wash over you & pour into those deep crevices of pain.

Let His goodness & mercy shine into the dark corners of your heart.

He’s Got a Plan… And It’s a GOOD One!

TRUST God.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

We may not know His timing. We may not see the fruit. But we can trust that He has a good plan with a good outcome. We can trust His love & we can trust His grace & goodness.

For His Love Endures Forever. Amen.

In whatever place you find yourself right now, Lovely, shine Hope. Always shine hope.

Grace & peace be to you from Christ Jesus, our LORD.

Amen.

Coming Next Week

Two blog posts are coming next week!

Monday will be our next regularly scheduled post of encouragement for your week & Thursday will be our Special Feature for this month!

Make sure to check back with me & hopefully I can pour some encouragement into your beautiful self.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Avalon Earrings

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Made with brass & then silver-plated, these statement earrings are a nod to our Indian artisans’ culture.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Other accessories are from previous catalogs & are no longer available)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Have You Ever Felt…

Have you ever felt like invisible hands are holding on to you & pulling you down?

Have you ever felt like the world is crushing you?

Have you ever felt like you are chasing an ever-fleeting feeling of happiness?

Have you ever felt despair, an endless dark void in your life?

Have you ever tried to make up for wrongs, but you feel like no matter your efforts, it’s pointless?

Do You…

Do you feel weak from trying to be good enough & strong enough in every situation?

Do you scramble to find where you fit in this world, always feeling like a square peg trying to fit in a triangle-shaped hole?

Do you feel tossed around by life?

Do you wish life wasn’t so hard all of the time?

Do you try & try & try again, only to fail & fall repeatedly?

Do you ache for someone to love you? To really love you just as you are?

Do you feel the necessity to pretend to be greater or more than you feel you are just to hang on to love?

Do you feel alone?

I have been there…. But I am not there anymore.

Once Upon A Time

All of those questions once described my life. All of those questions described a plague that infected my life once upon a time.

I didn’t know how to end it. I didn’t think there was a cure.

People always told me, “that’s just life.”

Has anyone ever said that to you? Even if they haven’t, have you ever felt that to be true?

I have.

That’s just life. Sometimes we tell ourselves that just as a reason to keep going… but to what end? (There is hope, though… so keep reading!)

Don’t Give Up

The most condemning answer we can hear is, “that’s just life.” Because in that three-worded phrase comes an understanding that there is no hope, that we just have to accept an existence of misery while we still live.

“That’s just life.” What a heart-breaking lie.

What a chain-maintaining, prison-keeping, darkness-inducing LIE.

The Other Side

Because let me tell you something… I have seen the other side. I know from EXPERIENCE that “That’s just life” is a lie, because I have seen what is very possible.

You can see those chains break. You can rush out of that prison. And the shining light of hope can meet you on the other side!

But you can’t do it alone.

Where Does My Help Come From?

Yes, that is where the lie, “That’s just life,” comes from—attempting to break out on our own, inevitably failing, & thus concluding that it is impossible to see any other result.

When we try to break out on our own, we sometimes will tirelessly make unfruitful attempts to fill the black void that seems to eat away at our soul.

We try to find happiness. We chase it with the wind. One more sprint! One more leap! I will surely catch it this time & I will finally be happy!

We chase success, wealth, recognition, reputation, health, affirmation, comfort, laughter, love.

We chase anything that will “finally make us happy.”

But Wait…

But then one of two things always seems to happen… We either reach complete success in that which we are chasing so eagerly & we somehow still feel empty… Or, we keep chasing it & it keeps getting away, leaving us to perpetually tire while still desperately running on our hamster wheel going nowhere.

Either way, inevitably, we start believing that little lie, “that’s just life.”

You see, we are hopeless in trying to reach it on our own. We are completely incapable of ever filling that void because it just seems to always get bigger.

We are hopeless & completely incapable… On Our Own.

Now don’t misunderstand me, every other person, even when working together, will also be hopeless & completely incapable. Another person can never fill that void any more than you can on your own.

So, who can?

There is SOMEONE

You see, I know Someone who shatters all chains, kicks down all prison doors, feeds & completely satisfies your soul, gives you rest & peace, loves you completely & UNCONDITIONALLY, & is always waiting with open arms to hold & affirm you.

I am not talking about some feel-good, positive-thinking vibes where if you believe hard enough that you can be happy with this Someone then you will be happy.

No. I am talking about even when having nothing left to give, broken & poured out, weeping, lost, & destitute, still finding freedom outside of yourself.

Finding Real Freedom

I am talking about a freedom you can’t create or imagine into existence.

I am talking about a freedom you don’t have to micro-manage to keep it.

I am talking about a freedom that despite the worst of you, is somehow offered to you.

I am talking about a freedom that is offered to us, without asking anything from us.

I am talking about a freedom already paid for, in which you don’t have to earn.

I am talking about a freedom that despite our complete lacking of deserving or earning any of it, is still offered to us.

This Freedom

This freedom sets you free in a way that baffles & astounds & sets us in awe.

This freedom is complete & thorough, breaking through EVERY chain that holds you.

This freedom is a gift.

This freedom is very much real.

When I Have Nothing, I Can Have EVERYTHING

In the midst of my sorrow, my hatred & anger, my ready-to-commit-suicide-because-nothing-ever-works self… I… Found… FREEDOM,

This type of freedom doesn’t leave you to fight it out on your own. This freedom doesn’t leave everything to your efforts. This freedom doesn’t come with conditions that must be met. This freedom cannot be earned. This freedom cannot be bought.

This freedom is FREE.

This freedom is lasting!

This freedom washes out all the rest & sets you free indeed.

What Is This Freedom?

This freedom is GRACE.

Jesus Christ.

He is God. He came down to Earth as man. He spent His life on Earth healing & serving humanity. He spoke Truth & Life & HOPE to everyone He met. He lived without sin. He lived LOVE.

And then He was rejected. He was beaten & mocked & killed in a gruesome display of disgrace. He could have summoned leagues of angels, but He stayed on that cross because He knew we couldn’t pay our own debt before God. He cried out. He died.

And three days later, He rose again!

He conquered death! He conquered sin! He conquered shame!

He died… So that WE may LIVE. He gave His Life so that we may Find Life.

What’s the Catch?

And what does He ask of us, for us to receive this amazing gift that we cannot earn?

Our faith… Our complete trust in Him.

That’s it.

Toss out trying to live life for you, by you, & through you. It doesn’t work.

Live for Him.

You will still make mistakes. You will still be human.

But the debt that you owed will be paid in full.

He Will Be…

And He will be your strength in trials. He will be your peace in confusion. He will be your Light in darkness. He will be your power when you have nothing. He will be your LOVE when you are lonely. He will be your satisfaction. He is ENOUGH.

He will welcome you into freedom.

It’s Worth Trusting the Creator of Mankind

We may not always understand His ways. We may think we know better.

But He is GOD. He doesn’t make mistakes. And whether we always agree or not, we can rest in knowing that HE KNOWS what He is doing & He is God.

But He promises that as we serve Him, He will turn our ashes into beauty & He will shine light into our darkness & He will work ALL things to the Good of those who love Him & are living for Him.

Those are pretty amazing promises! And He ALWAYS keeps His promises!

So, trust Him. Bow your heart before Him. Lay your way down in exchange for His.

Bow Your Heart… & Be Lifted Up from Your Mire

In your heart, right now, hand up everything you are trying to hold onto as your life preserver. Hand up everything you have done in rejection & rebellion to Him.

Ask for forgiveness.

And ask Him to be the Lord over your heart & life.

It’s that simple. One silent prayer leading to a whole life of freedom.

Run to Freedom, Accept His Grace

What’s stopping you?

It’s not “just life.” It’s ABUNDANT life!

A life of freedom awaits you.

Will you answer the call? Will you run into His waiting arms? Will you jump off the hamster wheel of life & race toward grace?

He is waiting with open arms for you, Lovely.

Find Hope. Shine Hope. Live Hope.

Coming Next Week

Hey everyone! I hope this week was an encouragement to you! Make sure to check back next Monday morning for my next post. See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear more about how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Jeweled Necklace

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Wear this necklace long or doubled. Made out of iron wire, glass beads, & nickel-free plating.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & to send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty AND create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured, the Stella Earrings, made in India!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Dare to Hope

Daring to live for God in a broken world—such a rewarding endeavor that is not without its great challenges.

How easy it is for me to retract back into the safety of my comfort zone & to live for myself & for whatever seems will make me happy in that moment.

Oh, how I long for comfort. Oh, how I seek it out, willing to almost abandon all else at times just to have a small taste of sweet comfort.

The couch summons me. Pajamas call to me from their place in my dresser. Messes mock me to leave them alone. Pillows & blankets & binging my favorite television shows beckons to me. Messy buns & yoga pants rule my daily ensemble. I love comfort.

But Then…

But then I see it… I see someone in pain, or a need that someone has, or a greater depravity or trauma existing or occurring in the world around me. I see brokenness, emptiness, & unsatisfied longings in the eyes of others I pass on the street.

And I am conflicted.

The two sides of my heart battle it out. Comfort usually wins.

Too Tough to Carry?

It’s hard to acknowledge the brokenness we see daily. It’s hard to carry that weight & burden. It’s easier to retract back into the safety of my comfort zone, willing to tune out the hurts of the world in order to protect my own heart from feeling their pain.

But I am conflicted still.

What if I could do something? What if I could create change? What if I could help? What if I could shine hope into this hurting world?

But how?

Lost Cause? Or Great Potential?

I don’t know. It seems too obscure, too massive a battle to fight. I grow weary thinking of how little of an impact I would have on this breaking world. I hurt. I grieve.

And again, I retract back into the safety of my comfort zone.

I don’t know how to help.

But Then, Hope.

But then a thought. A glorious, wonderful thought.

I know someone who can help. I know someone who can help show ME how to help. I know someone with the insight & wisdom to direct my steps day by day in helping.

I have nothing to truly offer. I am guided by my fleshly desire for comfort more often than anything because it makes me feel safe, but I know someone who can give me strength & power to overcome those weaknesses.

I Know Someone

I know someone who cares about that brokenness far more than I could ever fathom, & yet never seems to give up on shining hope to them, reaching out a hand & offering freedom & love & healing to those who seek it. I know someone who never tires of this, who & never grows weary.

The Shift

And so, I stop. I stop running back to comfort. I stop giving up. I stop letting the overwhelming grief of this hurting world keep sending me back to comfort, & I cling.

I cling to that someone who can make change happen.

I am small—He is great. I am weak—He is strong. I am selfish—He is Love.

And so, I cling to hope in Him.

We’ve Got Help

You see, we don’t have to change the world on our own. We don’t have to have all the answers. We don’t have to be brave enough or strong enough to overcome our fears or apprehensions. We don’t have to go big or go home.

We just have to be willing to bow our hearts to God.

To say:

“Lord, I can’t. I am just one person & the pains of this world far exceed what I could ever do to help. I am weak. I want comfort. Help me. Change me. Mold me. Make me Your vessel for hope into this world. Show me today how I can make an impact for hope. Guide me & teach me the potential You created within me. Show me the part You will have me play in shining hope into this world. Don’t let me give up. Be my strength. Be my power. Let Your love pour out of me. Guide me. Teach me Your Truth so that I may be Your ambassador, representing Your desire to redeem this broken world to Yourself, in Your hope, Your love, Your grace. Thank You for filling in the spaces where I lack. Thank You for only requiring a willingness of us, knowing You can handle the rest. Be my enough. I love You. Amen.”

Keep Trusting His Ability

May we not give up on our mission to shine hope into this hurting world.

The task is great. The need is desperate. The hurt is overwhelming.

But God has told us rightly that, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

The task is great, but He is greater. The need is desperate, but God is able. The hurt is overwhelming, but God’s healing grace overcomes our worst.

So join with me.

Pray.

Let God fill in our gaps & let Him shine His hope of His love & His grace through you to this world that needs Him so, so much.

Let Him be your “enough” & don’t let Satan frighten you back to your comfort zone.

Because God is worth it. HOPE is worth it.

And He. Is. ABLE!

Amen.

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning for more encouragement. See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Thai Pearl Bracelet

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in Thailand & India!

This bracelet has a waxed cotton cord that is hand-knotted to hold freshwater pearls & gold colored beads.

Artisan Information:

In remote areas of Thailand, we focus on restoring the strength of women in their country as artists. Your purchase of this bracelet empowers a diverse people, from the Karen Hill tribe, the Thai people, & the Hmong women. In this area, jobs are limited. Many women have to move to the city to find work & have to leave their children. Your purchase will help mothers stay in their hometown & earn an income, allowing them to take care of their children and watch them grow up!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Thailand!

(**Also pictured: Lyla Pearl Necklace–empowering women in India!**)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

(To read or re-read Part 1 of this story before continuing on, please check it out, here.)

…

She stared wide-eyed at her computer screen long after he signed off, her jaw dropped & her face flushed with shock.

What just happened…?

***********************

The next day was dawning & the remembrance of her looming plans rushed back into her mind as she groggily awoke from a restless night of sleep.

Maybe if she didn’t tell anyone about the date, she could just go out, come back afterwards, & then just move on with her life.

She had already decided that she wasn’t going to do anything differently with this boy. She was going to be herself & nothing more. If she didn’t find him funny, she would not giggle politely to humor him. If he says anything she didn’t agree with, she would let him know flat out. No pretending. No faking. If he didn’t like her as is, then he could move on all the sooner & so could she.

The impending doom… er, date… was coming up & she was spending her day trying to put it from her mind. She was well aware of the fact that she hadn’t given him her phone number & that if he got lost & wanted to call for better directions, oh well.

She also knew how mean that sounded. It’s not that she wanted to be mean to this guy… she just really didn’t want to end up crushing his heart like she seemed to already have been so good at doing with other guys. She wanted to spare herself the drama & the pain that seemed to inevitably accompany her dating efforts.

Better to end it now, rather than draw it out, establish feelings, & then rip out both of their hearts. It was actually the merciful thing, although seemingly harsh in the moment.

As the day went on, she eventually started preparing for her date. She wanted to dress confidently, to hopefully feel the confidence she aimed to project. Her nerves seemed to be bouncing off every wall she passed throughout the day & although her face showed calm composure, she couldn’t deny the rate at which her heart was beating. First dates are awkward & she was not looking forward to this one.

Although, in the back of her mind, she had to admit a flicker of excitement & even the truth of feeling flattered.

***********************

The evening arrived in a blur of a day. Her mom had insisted upon meeting him (completely breaking the code of not meeting the parents until you were getting serious in your relationship). At least this could only act as an extra deterrent, so she should have been more willing to oblige, but embarrassment won that round instead.

Heading out the door, as he opened the passenger door for her, she stepped into the car & a magical thing happened—ease & calm swept over her heart as she slid into the seat. She felt somehow like she had been in this seat a million times before & it somehow felt natural to be sitting in it right then.

The movie was pleasant & dinner was delicious, but conversation was exceptionally surprising. They laughed (genuinely), talked about life (no fluff, just real, honest talk), & they felt like long-lost friends reunited. It was surprising & yet, familiar.

As the evening concluded, they said their goodbyes & picked up their conversation through messages online later that night.

That’s when the problem occurred.

As they chatted, he shared with her how he had been feeling God leading him to this point & nudging him to ask her out. He had resisted, recovering from his own painful romantic memories, but had felt God saying, “will you do this in My timing, or yours?” And that’s when he gave in & went for it by asking her out.

Needless to say, telling a skittish, commitment-phobe girl that “God was telling you to push forward with dating her because God wanted you to pursue her” was basically like telling her to RUN! Not the smartest move on his part, probably.

And so, in response to his bold proclamation, she went on auto-pilot & proceeded to dump her entire relationship history on him as a defense mechanism. She shared everything. Ev-er-y-thing.

While spilling her every heartache onto the unsuspecting victim of her outburst, she cried & wanted to scream at him. She was so freaked out about potentially hurting him or getting herself heartbroken yet again. She was mad at him for being so bold when she had barely agreed to this one date. She was mad that she was finally satisfied with singleness, had learned to avoid flirtations & relying on men for affirmation & now this! She was mad that he had ruined their awesome night of relaxed jollity with bold statements of pursuing her romantically.

And so, she dumped all of her heartache on his shoulders.

He didn’t run. He didn’t defend himself. He just listened patiently, feeling the hurt in her words.

Once the panic & outpouring of her past heartache began to subside, in one final effort to protect the both of them from experiencing similar fates, she asked him to make a vow to her.

The vow was this, “Do not ask me out or talk about a relationship with me for three months. Three months. Pray. Just pray. Ask God to help you get over your twitterpated feelings so that you can see God’s will above your own will. And I will pray that God help me see past my fears to understand His will. Three months & no sooner. Just pray about it.”

He agreed & they said their goodbyes for the evening.

After they signed off their message chat, she cried. She felt ashamed for dumping her past on this unsuspecting guy. She felt ashamed for not trusting God when faced with something that scared her. She felt scared for the potential damage she could cause him. She wanted to run away.

And as she cried, she prayed something quite differently than what she had just said to that young man who had stirred all of these emotions & all of this fear. She asked God to make His will clear to her above all else. She no longer wanted to date for “fun” or “attention” or “fulfillment”. She only wanted to be with someone if the relationship honored God & if it was His best for her. She wanted to rest in the security of Christ’s embrace versus relying on the embrace of a man to fulfill her.

She wanted God’s will.

And so, she prayed this, “God, I don’t know what to do. I am so scared. I can’t go through this again! I can’t risk hurting myself or hurting someone else like that again. I just can’t! You have taught me to rely on You alone for comfort & strength & love & fulfillment… I don’t know how to fit a man into that. Help me! I will refuse to have a man replace Your place in my heart, so show me Your will. If this is Your plan for my path, please make it so clear to both he & I that we are left with no doubts. Be the ruler of this relationship. If this is Your will, give him so much confidence of Your will to pursue me that he is willing to risk losing me in order to follow Your will. Give him the confidence to ask me out before January 1, three WEEKS from now. If he is willing to break his promise to me & risk losing me, all for the sake of obeying You, I will know that You have sent him to me & I will say yes. Your will be done. Amen.”

And then she slept.

***********************

In the days that followed, he kept his promise to her. He didn’t once mention the idea of a future romantic relationship. He was simply acting as her friend. They shared prayers together. They shared testimony of God working in their individual lives. They grew in their relationship with God more than with each other. There was no pressure to be good enough or to show off or to impress each other toward a relationship. It was easy & relaxed & a friendship built on the understanding that neither of us belonged to each other, but rather to Christ. There was laughter & fun & there were happy memories made as they chatted online almost every day.

She kept praying for peace in her heart & to know God’s will. She prayed several times about specific characteristics that she knew without uncertainty that God had shown her she needed in a husband.  Every time she prayed specifically about a characteristic or potential in this man, without fail, this guy randomly, out of the blue & with zero prompting from her, would tell a story about himself that displayed that exact characteristic, sometimes almost verbatim to her prayers. She was always left in wonder & awe to see God answer her questions & concerns so clearly. She could see His fingerprints in their budding friendship.

Along with their many online chats & visits at church functions, the two of them went out together on two more outings that held no romantic nuances. Just friends spending time together.

The third time they hung out in person (other than seeing each other at church events), their time for the day was coming to a close. It was December 31 and no mention of relationships had taken place since their first date. He had held true to his promise.

She shifted in her seat, secretly remembering her prayers about something happening before January 1 if it were God’s will. She began wondering if this meant that God would show her in a different way & that maybe the timing just wasn’t right yet… or if this would mean that His answer was a firm, “no”. She started praying silently, asking God for wisdom on which of these two scenarios were His answer.

Sitting in the car, parked in front of the house, she moved to begin saying her “goodbye until next time” when he, who had been sitting silently next to her for several minutes now, finally spoke up.

“Wait. I feel like I really need to tell you something. I have kept my promise. I have been praying about God’s will to overshadow my own & I haven’t mentioned relationships since that night that we last spoke about it. But three days ago, I feel like I got my answer. I have been praying since then for God to solidify His answer in my heart & to show me when I should tell you, since you made me promise to wait three months… Well, as we were about to say goodbye, I just got this overwhelming feeling that the answer was right now. I know it’s breaking the promise, but I can’t deny that push. I feel like I am supposed to tell you right now that I think God wants me to pursue a romantic relationship with you.”

…

…

…

Panic. Pure panic. Shock. Wonderment. Awe. Panic. Head spinning. Replaying words in her head. Processing the information as the car grew hot & the air grew thick & the car grew significantly smaller with every breath. Heavy breathing, trying not to pass out. Wondering at how God works in her life when she asks Him to & how faithful & amazing He is.

“Michelle…?” he asked her tentatively, fear starting to well inside him as well.

“Oh my gosh. I just… Oh my gosh… What? Did you just ask me out? Oh my gosh… It hasn’t been three months… How did you know…? Oh my gosh… I didn’t tell anyone… Oh my gosh… What just happened…?”

He sat staring at her, probably preparing himself for her to exit his car & never look back.

Seeing his worry, she realized that she hadn’t told him why she was freaking out. She began to tell him her prayers & the change she had made to want him to risk losing her to follow God first. She told him what happened.

Realization dawned on his face, relief & joy replaced his worry. Now he was sitting in his seat, letting the truth of God’s amazing work sink in.

The two of them sat quietly, amazed. Who knew that God would show up so clearly when they asked for His guidance? Who knew how much God cared about their budding relationship? Their eyes had been opened & now they could see more of the Truth… God really cared about them. He cared about guiding them when they ask Him to… He cared for their hearts.

God cared so much more than they had known before that night, & now they could sit & smile & realize just how big & how great & how loving God really was.

He was worth following. He was worth trusting.

He is worth our everything.

***********************

To be Continued…

Part 2 Thoughts

If you hadn’t guessed already from having “her” name revealed as “Michelle”, this is a true story based on my personal love story with my now husband.

I share this story every chance I get because I want girls & women to understand how very much God cares about our hearts & how much He is willing to interact with & guide us along on the journey.

So often, we try to “help Him along” by flirting & trying to be such good girlfriends, putting all of the relationship pressure on our own shoulders, but God is willing to lift that from us & replace it with the peace of knowing that He will be enough to fill our hearts & if we are to marry, He will guide us every step of the way if we allow Him to.

So trust Him, Lovely. If you are seeking love, seek it in God’s loving arms. Not sure how that works or how that could possibly satisfy you more than a man, ask God to show you. He won’t disappoint.

Don’t trust your deceitful heart. Trust God’s steadfast love, wisdom, care, & guidance.

He really is enough & He is waiting to show you how much He really does love you, with or without a man in your life.

Coming Up

The love story doesn’t end there… Check back for next month’s Special Feature blog post (every last Thursday of the month) for “A Love Story-Part 3″!

Also, check back every Monday morning for my latest blog post, encouraging women to shine hope into this dark world by laying out my weaknesses & allowing God’s glory to shine through them. See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Avalon Earrings

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India & Thailand!

Made with brass & then silver-plated, these statement earrings are a nod to our Indian artisans’ culture.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, and receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Pearls of Hope Bracelet from Thailand.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Sometimes…

Sometimes, life isn’t so pretty. Sometimes, insecurities win. Sometimes, we let our desire to be good outweigh the good that God is actually calling us to do.

Whatever distractions are holding you back personally, my biggest one is doubt.

I always doubt whether my actions are led by a desire to feel or seem good, or whether they are actually led by God’s will.

Am I living to glorify myself or to glorify God?

Am I living to please man or to please God?

Am I living by my wisdom or God’s?

It is so hard to navigate some of these feelings & sometimes it makes us want to just quit & hide away in comfort. (At least, that’s how it makes me feel).

And Today…

Today, I struggled yet again with these doubts.

I don’t know all the answers. I don’t know whether God will empower me to continue this blog or to shut it down to go wherever else He may be calling me, but until I figure that out, I will keep seeking God’s direction & I will keep seeking to honor Him.

Letting My Heart Show

The following prayer resulted from brain fog. Every week seems like a battle of the will to show up & write a blog & I am constantly doubting whether it is God’s will or whether I am just trying to feel like I am doing good. (Or whether Satan is just trying to keep me from shining any light of hope into this world).

Please pray this openly & ask God to show you His will for Your life. Don’t settle for hiding. Don’t settle for less. Don’t let excuses rule your day. God is bigger. God is able.

My Prayer

“Dear God,

I am not worthy to write this blog. Why did this come in my path? Are you asking me to do this, or is it my way to not feel like I am wasting my life? I say I want to serve You, but does my life really display that as reality? Or am I just wanting to feel good about myself?

I don’t think I can do this blog. I don’t want to do this blog. I don’t feel like I have anything worthy to say that could do any real good in anyone’s life.

Is this Your way of telling me to quit the blog or is Satan trying to dim Your light in my life? It is easy for me to believe the latter because this seems like something that would honor You, but at the same time, I have so distanced myself from You over my years of bitterness that I don’t know if I can always accurately discern Your voice anymore.

I wonder sometimes if I should give up working with Trades of Hope, too, because I have failed so miserably in representing them & in supporting my team. I wonder sometimes if I should quit my Facebook page community because I am so scattered & not always professional & others seem to not even be interested in it. I want to quit this blog because I wonder what good I could realistically do for You.

I feel like a failure at everything I try to do for You. Does this mean You don’t want me doing it? Or are You trying to teach me to rely on You instead of myself?

Show me what You want from me. Make Your voice clear amidst the insecurities & fears & facing the unknown. Show me what YOU want from me.

I know that oftentimes, we like to jump to do good & claim that it’s Your will when You might have a completely different plan for us that we’re avoiding because we think we have already figured things out for You.

I don’t want that. I want YOUR will. I want to shine YOUR light. Not mine.

I feel so conflicted that I just want to slam my laptop shut & never try blogging again.

I want to quit Trades of Hope & blogging & doing LIVE videos & all of it.

I don’t want to feel this conflict anymore. It was easier when I did nothing.

I want to sit on the couch & try to tune out the hurts in the world. I want to stay in pjs & watch tv & try not to care. I want so badly to be comfortable!

But then it isn’t any easier when I do nothing because I feel the pain of seeing a hurting world pass me by & then knowing I am doing nothing to make it any better.

I am a mess. I don’t deserve to be used by You. I don’t deserve for anyone to listen to me.

I have scars & a past & insecurities & weaknesses & areas of intense pride & I struggle being gracious to the flaws of others & I constantly choose comfort over You or the people of this world that You love so much who are hurting so much.

I don’t deserve to be a part of anything You are doing in this world.

I just want to be used by You & I don’t know how.

I don’t know how, God. Please show me Your will.

I don’t want to just do things that make me feel good about myself. I want to do Your will. I want to follow Your call. I want to join in where You are already working.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

Whether I quit this blog or whether You ask me to continue writing & continue allowing myself to be vulnerable for all the world to judge. Shine through it. Even if you ask me to do something harder than this. Your will. Not mine.

I am tired of making excuses & hiding from what I don’t yet know or understand.

Be the Light & shine a path for me.

Use me how You will, God. Make me Your vessel. Shine through my brokenness. Make me Your ambassador.

Show me Your will.

I am tired of trying to force goodness. I am tired of fighting against my excuses. I am tired of trying to be strong on my own. I am tired of being dragged down by the idol of Comfort. I am tired of living for me. I am tired of fighting You.

True strength & power & wisdom & peace & GOODNESS comes from You ALONE. Help me to stop trying to create it on my own, in my own strength. Help me to submit & to draw near to You.

Whatever is holding me back from Your will, remove it. Wherever I am hiding away, expose it with Your Truth. Wash me. Cleanse me. Renew my heart & mind & draw me back to Yourself.

I want to know You. I want to serve You out of LOVE & devotion. I want others to know Your love through how I live & how I love others. I want to be self-disciplined & productive in Your kingdom. I want to serve others by expressing Your love for them. I want a real faith defined by real action. I want to know & love You more.

Don’t give up on me.

In Jesus’ Powerful Name,

Amen.”

The Truth

The Truth? I don’t have it all together. Satan tries to discourage me. But when that happens, I have a choice. I can either choose to give up & stay where I’m at… forever… OR, I can take those fears, those doubts, those insecurities, & everything else that tries to hold me back to GOD. Because that’s when the real change can happen. That’s where the power is. Don’t give up… Give it to God.

Shine Hope, Lovelies. And don’t you ever give up.

Coming Up

This Thursday is time for our Special Feature blog post for this month! Check back Thursday morning for Part 2 of “A Love Story”! To catch up with Part 1 before Thursday, read it here.

Also, as always, check back next Monday morning for more encouragement.

I am praying that this reaches the women it was meant for. God sees you, Lovely.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Warrior Cuff

Empowering Women in India Out of Poverty!

This brass gold, hammered, stacked cuff opens in the back.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Empire Earrings, made by artisans in India.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Feeling the Weight

Have you ever felt broken, like you didn’t deserve a second chance?

Have you ever felt the grip of guilt or shame not loosen its grip?

Have you ever cried over past mistakes & felt broken inside?

Have you ever felt beyond repair?

Me too.

Looking Back

I have never been perfect, although I tried to believe I could be, or at least make others believe that I was.

Growing up in a Christian home, going to church a couple or few times a week, I felt the pressure to be good, even though I was not.

I felt like a fraud, pretending my way through church services.

I felt ashamed to admit the truth, guessing that my family would probably have a heart attack if they knew the real me—the imperfect me. The rebellious, stubborn, prideful me.

The doubting me….

Doubts Washed Away

I had so many doubts about faith when I was growing up. Church claimed that God was the one true God, but the world claimed other gods, each defending their own religions.

I didn’t want to doubt. But I did.

If you have read my story of “Hope is Found”, you will know what happened next…. You will see how God washed my torturous doubts away like a cool summer rain. He set me free to live at peace with Him.

I know Who the real God is, whether I always like how He does things or not—He is God either way & He knows best, whether I understand in the moment or not.

Turning Away

But again, this is a new day, with new lessons to learn.

Brokenness. Guilt. Shame. Past mistakes. “Beyond repair”.

You would think that after everything that God has taught me & everything He has brought me through, I would be courageous & bold & unwavering in my faith & pursuit to honor God.

You would think.

But, here I am.

Israelites = ME

The older I get, the more I seem to relate to the Israelites in the Bible.

The Israelites were God’s chosen people & God demonstrated His love & grace & power & forgiveness & PATIENCE through His relationship with the Israelite people throughout the Bible.

Basically, their relationship went like this…

God would make them promises, saying all they had to do was trust Him wholeheartedly & follow His will & way. They would worship & praise & follow & obey. Then pride. Then hard-heartedness. Then rebellion. Then captivity. Then cries for redemption….

And then God would save them in a powerful way… & then the cycle would start again.

In our well-meaning, naïve (*Coughproudcough) way, we tend to scoff from the sidelines & shout at the Israelites as we read of their rebellions springing up yet again, “What is wrong with you guys! God JUST miraculously saved you after the awful way you have CONTINUOUSLY been treating Him & have been spitting in His face… only to have you reject Him AGAIN??? What is wrong with you?!?”

Haha.

How highly we like to think of ourselves, at times… am I right?

I am just the same as the Israelites, there is no way around it. If not worse than them….

The Results of Rebellion

I feel grieved. Some days, I just feel so empty & self-loathing. I cry, remembering my rebellion.

I feel broken.

I feel empty.

I feel like a fraud.

I feel like giving up in trying to be or claiming to be anything else.

But.

God’s grace.

His mercy.

His patience & forgiveness & faithfulness & steadfastness.

He Doesn’t Shame Us, He Sets Us Free

As much as I continually am beating myself up lately, feeling completely unworthy of yet another opportunity to be forgiven & renewed, the fact remains… He is faithful & He forgives me.

As many of you have heard, I had lived in an ocean of bitterness for the past many years.

Bitterness at praying for a child, going through doctor appointments, being told it would happen any day, receiving gifts from friends for the inevitable day that never came, living alone, feeling like if I only had a baby to love & to love me, I wouldn’t feel so alone. And feeling hurt & betrayed by God when it never happened.

Bitterness at feeling the loss of my husband’s love that was never really gone, but perceived to be as we literally fought through our first year and a half of marriage, feeling betrayed by the loss of his companionship & feeling betrayed by God for bringing me to the other side of the planet, only to feel abandoned & neglected by Jamie’s demanding work schedule & inevitable resulting high stress levels.

Bitterness at being so eager to plug into local churches, only to find out there was little I could do. Bitterness at pouring my heart & soul into encouraging others, only to find out they didn’t need it as much as I did.

Bitterness at myself for never being skinny or pretty enough & bitterness for believing that lie.

I Woke Up

And then the wake-up call came & I started crawling, wounded, untrusting, back to God.

I claimed to know to pray & let Him be God, but I still felt hurt & hesitant to let Him in my heart. He had heard my prayers & my cries & my inward screams & He had not changed my circumstances.

I blamed Him instead of trusting Him.

Has that ever been you?

And now, seeing Him forgive me & feeling Him work on changing my attitude & renewing my faith… I just feel shame & guilt & hesitation.

Humility Rains Down

I am as the Israelites.

God has blessed me through more heartache & trials & doubts than I can name. He has guided me & tenderly loved my heart toward Himself in powerful ways I could not ignore.

He gave me great promise & potential.

I got proud. I grew hard-hearted. I rebelled.

And now I cry out to Him. Undeserving, broken, scarred.

Believing the Lie That Shame Trumps Grace

I struggle the most right now with accepting His open arms.

It’s almost like I want to punish myself for being unfaithful & for turning my back on Him.

His grace hurts because it is so contrast to the way I have treated Him.

It makes me see my unfaithfulness to Him more clearly. I can’t hide from my part in pushing Him away.

Beauty from Ashes

But at the same time, it’s so beautiful.

It is so beautiful to come back to giving my faith to Him… to come home to Him & to realize that He is running out to greet me like I never crushed His heart to begin with.

It is humbling. It crushes me some days as I punish myself, (without Him asking me to).

He wants me to lay all of my shame down at His feet. All of my guilt & shame & scars at His feet, knowing I don’t have to carry them anymore… because His grace covers those.

But I grip on to them, afraid of getting away with it & then doing it all over again.

But as you can see, that is another form of not trusting Him, right? Not trusting that He is able to renew me & teach & guide me.

I don’t deserve the grace He so willingly offers to me. Not again. I knew better. But yet, He offers it to me all the same.

Letting the Walls Come Down

I am slowly trusting Him with prayer again. I am slowly opening my heart & accepting the role I played in distrusting His sovereignty & endless love for me (for all of us). I am slowly taking those badges of dishonor & handing them over to Him to let Him heal those broken parts.

I am good at defending myself, even my wrongs. I am good at self-denial. I am good at pretending I don’t know better, when rebellion knocks at the door.

But God is breaking through those lies I told to myself. The lies that said I was good as is. The lies that justified my wrong behavior. He is showing my a clear picture of myself in the mirror.

And I don’t like it.

Working to Rebuild

He is not doing this to shame me, but quite the opposite. I can feel Him peeling away all of the layers I built to defend myself, telling me, “I see you, Michelle. I REALLY see you. And I still love you. I REALLY love you!”

Not the me I try to be, in proving I can be good enough. No. The me that can never be “good enough”, but is so deeply loved just the same.

And He feels the same about you. He sees your scars & your coverups & your denial… And He REALLY loves you… for who you are behind all of the masks that we use to hide ourselves.

When I rebelled, the truth remains that God never left. He never betrayed or broke me. I did that.

If I Had Never Left & Even Now

He offered me hope in my disappointment, comfort in my longing, & friendship in my loneliness… But I rejected it & spat in His face because it wasn’t how I thought it should be. How I thought I wanted it to be.

It is possible to be held captive by what you were once set free from….

But the other side is just as true… It is always possible to be redeemed by what holds you captive.

A Clean Slate. A Renewed Heart & Faith

God doesn’t keep track. He doesn’t tick away at how many times He will rescue you from yourself before giving up on you. He will never give up on you. He knows we are like the Israelites, prone to wander & rebel. And He loves us anyway!

He is also loving & forgiving & patient & kind & powerful & sovereign & faithful.

If you come to Him with a repentant heart, wanting to throw away the broken, sinful, ashamed, selfish, rebellious you & exchange it for all that He offers… He is always willing & waiting with open arms.

Run To Him

So, run back, Lovely.

No matter how far you feel you have run from Him. No matter how lost you feel you are. No matter how far gone or broken or torn down you feel. RUN BACK TO HIS OPEN ARMS.

He is waiting to welcome you home… Every time… No matter what… I promise.

So. Run. Back. Home.

And leave those awful pits of guilt at His throne. Trust His grace to be more powerful than your shame.

And let Him set you free.

Let Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me next week for the next topic of encouragement! Please pray that God continue to heal my heart & to keep me steadfast in seeking Him as I seek to encourage all of you to run to Him with all you are.

He loves you.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bombolulu Earrings

Empowering Women in Kenya Out of Poverty!

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, and become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Kenya!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Getting Real

Being “Authentic” is a tricky topic for most people, including myself. I think it’s tricky because oftentimes, we aren’t completely sure what is the “real” us.

This may not seem to make sense, because it sounds so ridiculous, but the fact is that none of us really know who our authentic selves are—not completely or accurately anyway.

That sounds pretty crazy, but hopefully after we take some time to discuss it further, it will begin to make more sense.

We Should Know, Right?

In all logic, it seems that of all the people who should really know who we are on the inside,  it would be us, right?

But how well do we really know ourselves?

Let me explain.

We all have our perception of reality. This is sometimes labeled as “our truth” because it’s how we personally see the world around us & also how we see ourselves.

But is it always accurate?

Probably not so much.

Here’s why….

For starters, we were all shaped as children, by our surroundings. This could include, but is not limited to, childhood trauma, for example. But it can also be something as simple as the ideologies of our parents & how we were raised, as a result.

We Are Shaped By What We Know

Something so awful can happen to us, or even a subtle wrong… And it can often become etched into our minds as truth, even if it isn’t!

A common example of this would be seeing a parent abandon the family, thus “realizing” that marriages don’t really work… creating a fear of intimacy or long-term commitment.

Another example is hearing how your parent describes someone of a different nationality, upbringing, or even judging based on outside appearances such as weight.

We will often grow up with a prejudice built into our brains, as a result of this upbringing, that we are not even fully aware of as wrong or incorrect.

Image issues, insecurities, commitment or other phobias, etc. can be etched into our subconscious so deeply that we may not even see them as anything other than “just the way things are,” because they are “our truth.”

Our idea of truth can be completely wrong, but feel so completely right because it is all we have ever known.

Family Histories Often Seem Like FACT

Also, considering how we grew up or even our family histories, it can be ingrained in us even further that that is just the way life is, & that there is little we can do to change things.

Because it has been approved or acted upon for years, or decades even, it seems to us as factual.

So who are we really? How can we truly be authentic if we don’t have a clear picture as to who we really are?

Perception Doesn’t Always Equal Truth

The other thing to consider is perception.

Perception is a tricky thing because it is just how it sounds—it is OUR perception. It is simply how we perceive things to be, even if they are not actually that way,

We may even have something happen to us or around us, & we might perceive it as a specific turn of events or as a memory etched in our minds, when really, we misinterpreted the situation completely, whether for the better, or for the worse.

For example, seeing a grumpy look on someone’s face & assuming they dislike something about you, when really, someone may have just done something awful to THEM & they were struggling at hiding their physical facial reaction, which just happened to be aimed in your direction.

I could list TONS of other examples, but I think we can agree that this sort of thing has probably happened to us & we have probably inadvertently caused this same situation to happen to some other bystander.

Perception is a powerful influencer, but it is not always based on reality.

So Much Out There

There are so many outside factors that shape what we believe about who we are, even if many of them are lies.

So, considering these factors, how are we supposed to know who we really are?

Do you ever feel like you are living life, the best you know how, but something just never seems to fit? Like you don’t WANT to be “like that” or do “that” or live “that way”? But it just seems like it’s “just the way things are?”

Or maybe it seems like that is “just who YOU are” & you can’t change it?

I have struggled against that angst many times growing up.

But I oftentimes convince myself to just accept it & to flourish despite it (instead of changing my idea of who I really am based on actual facts or truth).

What the Heart Wants

We want to be “real” or “true to ourselves” but we often don’t REALLY know what that even looks like!

How confusing.

On top of those considerations, we sometimes want or long for things that are not actually what we want in the long run.

We can be so convinced that we have found what our heart so longs for, & then be completely wrong about it. (Keep reading… Hope is coming through all of this!)

Take my experience with my first serious relationship. I was so convinced that he was the absolute best man for me & I was ready to accept a ring & start a life of endless bliss with him.

I wanted it more than anything I had ever wanted!

I was sure of my decision–More sure than anything I had ever known.

But when I prayed about it, something just felt off. I never received peace, even though I was so sure that I wanted to be with this man forever & ever.

Obeying When We Don’t Understand

I obeyed that nudging from God through my lack of peace & I trusted God enough to let go, breaking my heart as well as his. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. But I don’t regret it, because I knew God was behind it & I trusted Him more than myself.

But then I met my husband, a decade or so later, & I realized that God had a better plan for me than I had had for myself. My husband didn’t seem like my “dreamboat” from first glance, the way the other man had, but the longer we are married (six years now), the more he seems tailored to fit my weaknesses & insecurities & past & future better than I imagined possible.

Long story short, I am so glad that I trusted God above my own fierce desires & temptations to believe that my heart knew better than God a decade earlier.

The Bible even speaks to this, “The heart is deceitful above all things… Who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)

“Be True to Self”

How can I trust myself to be “true to myself” when that understanding of myself is so often incorrect or incomplete?

And again (& in so many other verses as well), the Bible speaks to this: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You see, because we don’t fully understand ourselves the way God does, we can’t really understand what will help or benefit us in the long run… We only have a marred & blurry glimpse into what we think we want or need right now, in this moment.

But God sees the full picture. He knows you inside & out. He sees your comings & goings, when you sit & when you rise (Psalm 139:2). He numbers every hair on your head (Luke 12:7). He knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). He sees all things & knows all things. Your past, present, & future are laid out before Him.

He Knows Us

He can be trusted to know us better than we know ourselves.

And here comes another doozy… We all want to be liked & accepted for “who we are,” even though we ourselves often do not know who that is.

We shape so many behaviors in this quest to find true love & acceptance for who we are. Sometimes we highlight what we believe to be better about ourselves & sometimes we hide away what we believe others can’t love.

We want so badly for someone to “get us”, the “real” us, but oftentimes, we are left wanting more, because we may not fully understand what will satisfy that longing fully & completely.

But here’s the thing… We will never be fully satisfied on this “hamster wheel” of trying to be “authentic” & “liked.”

We were meant to find our satisfaction & identity & worth in Jesus Christ.

God Wants You to Know Yourself Through HIS Design!

God made you for a relationship with Himself.

God MADE you. He KNOWS you.

So take the time to ask Him about HIS design for you. Be willing to toss out all presuppositions, perceptions, passions, or longings to ask Him what you were designed for & to show you what will actually satisfy you the way you are so desperately searching.

Ask Him.

I went through the same process & I was amazed, awed, & so glad I did!

I have a long way to go & many areas that I excuse or hide about myself because I think it’s just a part of me, but God knows better & I refuse to leave it at my own perception or even my own ability to change.

He is bigger & wiser & stronger & more powerful & more loving & more ABLE than we will ever comprehend.

So, ask Him!

Ask Him & Don’t Stop Asking Him

Refuse to accept the prison chains that hold you back or hold you down.

Ask Him to let His Truth set you free—for Good! (John 8:31-32)

Don’t settle for a façade. Don’t settle for anything less than the beautiful design that God intended for you, Lovely. Ask Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me next week for more encouragement on michellehydeonline.com! See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Stardust Studs

Empowering women out of poverty in India & Jordan!

These sterling silver stud earrings hold a white opaque moonstone.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Through these artisan groups, these women in India have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education and healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured: Sea Glass Necklace from Jordan)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!