When You Feel Unseen

Do you ever feel invisible? Like your hurts are just too much for others? Like you’re too much for others?

I definitely feel that way sometimes.

But, if I’m honest, I think everyone probably feels that way to some degree, whether they are able to acknowledge or articulate that or not. Some people clam up, avoid others when they’re struggling. Some cry a lot. Some seem clingy & needy. We all handle it a bit differently, but deep down, we understand our hard is a burden, which can make US feel like a burden.

Sometimes I Feel Like Others See Me as a Burden

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know I have big emotions. It’s something that has been shamed quite a bit in my lifetime… something I often feel a lot of shame about, as a result.

I have seen the poorly concealed rolled eyes, the distancing from me, have heard the “so much drama” comments about me. It hurts, to be honest.

Nobody likes to feel shamed when they’re already feeling weak & vulnerable. They want to be embraced & loved just where they are, as they are… without having to mask or conceal the unsightly parts of their heart.

At least, that’s what I want.

Stay

And when I am facing a ton of hard emotions, the LAST thing I want is to feel as if everyone I love & trust seem to just begin to slowly pull away from me.

I want them to pull me in closer. Bear hug me. Tell me they still love me, even when I’m not at my best. Even when I feel I have so very little to offer them. That just me is enough.

It’s not something I really experience much. I more often than not feel invisible all of a sudden.

In My Poetry Journaling, I Can “Ugly Cry”

Besides crying alone & gripping the covers up to my chin to feel safe & secure… besides gripping (or chucking) my stress ball to help me squeeze out some of the tension I feel overwhelmed by… besides praying for help… I write about it. Little poems where I let out my darkest, ugliest swirling thoughts… where I allow them to be there & allow myself to be real about their existence, so I can call it out & pray about it as it really is… not just the prettied-up version God doesn’t need because He knows all anyway.

I write about longing for the perfection of heaven, the lack of tears, the lack of pain. I even sometimes write about wishing I could die so I wouldn’t have to ever feel any pain again. I write about longing to be in the arms of God, to feel safe & whole & wholly loved. I get real with God about where I’m at, letting myself trust that even if my reality scares people away or makes me seem like the family burden, I am never a burden to God.

God Wraps His Sufficient, Gracious, Merciful, Faithful, Long-Suffering Arms Around Me

He is big enough for me. He can handle it. He doesn’t need the cliff notes, He takes it all. I can full on ugly cry with Him. He can handle the ugly, the “drama”, the not-prettied-up version of me. He takes me as is. He loves me as is. He is sufficient for me as is.

I don’t have to mask for Him. I don’t have to plaster on a smile for Him. I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to pretend my faith is bigger than it is for Him. I don’t have to will-power my way through anything with Him. I don’t have to be okay all the time for Him. I don’t have to make myself seem worthy or appealing enough to want to spend time with me, to counter how much of a burden I feel I can be. I don’t have to try to advocate for why I’m worth keeping around. I can just BE with Him. Just me.

I can collapse in His figurative arms. Raw, hurting, & empty. I can come with nothing at all to offer Him. I can be frail & weak & ugly crying with snot all over my face. I can be as much of a burden as is humanly possible & be no burden at all to Him. I can handle everything terribly, fall apart, have no answers, get everything wrong… & yet He Is Sufficient. He is merciful. He is patient. He is faithful. He will NOT leave me nor can He love me any less. I can have nothing & He will still bring me His everything.

I love that so much.

Love Like Jesus… Even When It Is Really, REALLY Uncomfortable… Hug & PRAY with Them

Do I really, really wish more people loved others the way He loves us? To feel a tangible love & friendship where I don’t always feel like I have to convince them I’m not too much? Where I don’t feel I have to muster up cliff notes that won’t bore them or scare them or make them uncomfortable? A love that is present & warm & caring, even when it doesn’t benefit them? Of course I do. That’s why God calls us to love other people that way.

To comfort the faint-hearted, not to sing when others are broken & hurting, to mourn with those who mourn….

Not avoid. Not fix. Not quote platitudes. Just presence… just an attitude that says, “even when you’re not all together, I love you & I’m not going anywhere.”

Do You Ever Feel Invisible?

Can we be more of that to each other? Allow each other not to always have it together or have all the answers or always respond in the perfect way to all of life at all times? To have big emotions we don’t know what to do with? To be human…?

Not excusing sin, not supporting strongholds… but also learning compassion, recognizing weakness is human, bearing with one another in love, as God calls us to.

Can we take the time to SEE each other, really see them… even when they may be at their worst & have nothing to offer the friendship?

Can we love more like God loves us?

How Can You Love Others the Way You Wish to be Loved?

Do you ever feel invisible?

What would help you in it? How can you love someone else the way it would help you?

How can you be present… even when you may not get anything from it? Even if it feels burdensome to you. How can you love them anyway? As Christ loves us?

What helps me? When people still invite me, even when I’m low energy & not much of a contribution to conversation/fun. When people genuinely want to know how I am & pray WITH me through it. A long hug–you know, when it gets to that fine line between “I’ve got you, no matter what,” & borderline completely awkwardly long? Like that. When people remind me of truth, but also remind me that even in my weakness, God never gives up on me. When people are willing to be a sounding board… getting to talk about what makes my heart ache oftentimes takes the power away from whatever is plaguing me, so a listening ear does wonders.

Shine HOPE by seeking to really see people in their hurting & let them feel seen. Even if it’s uncomfortable. Love the way you would love to be loved, even when you don’t really understand their hurt…. You don’t have to understand why they’re hurting so much in order to love them so much. Remember that. God doesn’t ask us to justify why we’re hurting, He just comforts & offers His sufficient, faithful love… let’s do that.

Coming Next Week

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A Note from Michelle:

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Scarlet Cluster Studs (INDIA)

Artisans in India are earning a fair and dignified wage as they handcraft these elegant and festive Scarlet Cluster Studs. Each gold-framed earring features a cluster of four scarlet-colored gems in a gold-tone setting, creating a beautiful fair-trade fashion statement. Every pair of Scarlet Cluster Studs create necessary jobs to end poverty cycles and keep families out of the slums of India!

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