Our Tokyo Anniversary
I’m going to be honest with you—I don’t really know where this week’s blog topic is going. I’m just sort of going to write what’s on my heart as if we’re just chatting comfortably in my living room & see where it goes.
This has been a crazy last several weeks—from working, to Tokyo/Disney for a week, to typhoon prep, to living through a super typhoon & it’s aftermath. It’s been a roller coaster.
I wasn’t feeling well when we were in Tokyo. I got a cold, plus the added enjoyment of “that time of the month” & there were times during that week where I felt my feet were just dragging because although Tokyo Disney is a fun place to be… I felt like poop. I was tired, sluggish, achy, & like all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed & sleep it off.
But each day, I had to take those grumps to God, understanding tickets were already bought & we had already flown there & it was our anniversary week & I didn’t want to ruin it for my hubs either. No pressure, right?
I had to apologize to God for my grumpies many, many times & ask Him to forgive me for only wanting a solution my way (no matter how natural my way felt at the time) & instead trust Him enough to ask Him to be sufficient in my lack… & to help me have a good attitude/make the most of our trip.
God showed up, of course, in giving me enough strength for each day. It was still hard & it was still easy to have a bad attitude because it was hard… but God held my hand through it & just took me step by step in His care.
The Much-Talked-About Typhoon
And then we come home & all this talk of the typhoon was actually revving up versus slowing down—we get typhoon warnings a lot on Guam & a lot of them end up veering off & never reaching us other than some residual rain from its edges, so it’s not often I even feel concerned.
But this one was looking like a hit.
So, we began to prepare just like we would for any other typhoon… but I already talked about all that last week. (You can catch up, here, if you want: “Living through a Super Typhoon.”)
And I am so grateful to Him for so many reasons through all of that mess.
Overwhelmed & Drowning in Shock
It’s true… I didn’t feel I had any right to ask of God when He provided so much in our home’s protection through that, but God loves to give… not always in the way we THINK we want, but better.
When the worst of the aftermath shock & sticky, thick humidity kicked in, while I was sitting in pitch black darkness, unable to turn a light on or a fan or anything to get relief… knowing of how many people were suffering across the island from damage to their homes… I felt so overwhelmed by grief… like it threatened to just swallow me whole.
You know that feeling when you feel you have a frog in your throat & your eyes are burning, all because the sobs are just trying to force their way to the surface?
Have you ever been in total darkness & just felt consumed by it like they were dark walls closing in around you in your grief & you just needed to see the light of day trickle through it–any sign of hope–desperate for it even?
I begged… literally BEGGED… God to turn the power back on that night because I felt like I was falling apart. I was overwhelmed. Hope seemed a far ways off.
I Sometimes Feel Too Unworthy to Ask God for More
God had already provided in SO MANY ways. And so many others had it MUCH worse. How could I even imagine I was deserving of any more than all I already had been given?
I knew I didn’t deserve His answer to be yes—far from it.
But I also knew that HE was where my help comes from (Psalm 121:1-2) & that if ANYONE can give me some sort of relief where there seemed no available relief… it was going to be Him EVERY time.
And I ALSO knew that if God gave His only Son, JESUS, to pay the debt of all of our sins (John 3:16-17)… how much He MUST LOVE US & WANT to give us good things. (Romans 8:32)
So, I prayed anyway. I trusted Him more than how worthy or unworthy I felt I was. I trusted that He WANTED to provide for me & give me HOPE.
I’m Not Good Enough of My Own Merit
God doesn’t withhold goodness even from people who hate or reject Him… THAT’S how good He is! He rains on the just AND the unjust. (Matthew 5:44-45)
BUT, God also says that the prayers of a righteous person availeth much. (James 5:16)
On my own merit, I’m nowhere near righteous. God says even my righteousness is like dirty rags to Him. (Isaiah 64:6) He also says that we ALL fall short (Romans 3:23)
But I am declared righteous because of Whom my faith is planted in—Jesus. (Galatians 3:6); 2 Corinthians 5:21)
HIS righteousness is accounted to ME as MY righteousness because I hope in HIM.
So, when I pray to God for help, He is not looking down at me through the lens of my undeserving unworthiness… but through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus on my behalf. Jesus’ sacrifice MAKES me worthy even though on my own merit I am not.
Do You Trust God Enough to Ask?
It blows my mind how an Almighty HOLY God would love me so much.
God answered my prayer—not in the way I pictured it, but so much more in giving me a friend to go through the aftermath with me.
Do you trust that God cares enough for you to want to care for you in your dark moments?
Do you dare to ask? To believe He wants to? To believe you’re deserving enough not because of what you’re worth on your own… but based on the worth you have through all JESUS gave FOR YOU?
Do you trust that if God gave you His Son that He also wants your needs met? Even if not the way you pictured?
Do you convince yourself not to bother Him? Do you trust God enough to ask? Do you believe that to Him it’s NEVER a bother for His children to ask of His infinite, never-depleting resources? That He actually ENJOYS caring for you?
You’re Not Enough… And He Loves You Anyway
If you’re counting on you being enough… you’re not… none of us are.
But don’t miss the biggest thing ever—having the righteousness of Jesus accounted to you because of your believing on Him (rather than yourself) to cover your debt to God.
Don’t miss out on letting that HOPE flood your heart that come what may here on earth… THIS is your temporary home & if you trust JESUS, well, you have a MUCH BETTER place to look forward to than here!
Jesus is the light of the world, so if you feel darkness clouding your life… you need to look to Him & ask for His light to come into your life.
Shine HOPE by being willing to ASK God when you need help… without convincing yourself you don’t deserve it enough or that others have more of a right to it or that God doesn’t want to be bothered. Trust Him enough to ASK!
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for almost FIVE years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Eucalyptus Mint Soap (India)
Artisans in India meticulously craft irresistibly fragrant natural soaps using traditional cold process techniques and ancient blends of moisturizing oils, herbs, and essential oils.
The invigorating and refreshing signature fragrance of the Eucalyptus Mint Soap is a natural blend of moisturizing and healing shea butter and pure oils, including coconut and olive oil with essential oils of eucalyptus and peppermint, which are well known for their soothing anti-inflammatory, anti-microbial, antioxidant, and decongestant benefits.
***Every purchase helps empower marginalized and differently abled women in India.***
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!
