Learning New Ways
To be transparent with you all, I have been struggling lately. Not an all-the-time thing, but most likely as a result of removing many of my coping mechanisms I had built in order to handle my depression that were harmful in other ways (time draining or bad food).
Rebuilding heathier habits—as far as my coping mechanisms are concerned—has been a challenge for me & as a result, I have not so easily navigated my depression.
I Don’t Have a ”Why”
With my depression, I am not spinning out of control at this point, but am much more fragile & fall prey to Satan’s bullying much more easily. It has been emotional & confusing because when people ask “Why” for my random cry sessions, I often don’t know how to even answer because I honestly don’t even know an answer for myself.
I also find myself anxious for no reason when out shopping—I’m not nervous about the crowds or anything like that + I really enjoy shopping, even errands… but I find myself having to pulse my grip on my purse strap to keep myself from feeling panic that makes zero sense to me.
I typically, for the last few months, have felt the need to sit in my car for 10-15 minutes whether before heading into a store or even before going back inside once home, watching a few videos on my phone to bolster the motivation to even exit my car.
It’s been weird & hard to explain & without any noticeable reason for it. It’s hard to share because it can’t really be platitude(d) away, & it goes against any logic or reason.
The Secret Tears
Because of these reasons, I was afraid to talk about it, while pretending to smile through episodes so I don’t have to answer questions I don’t know how to answer. Smiling & making excuses to leave the room for “the restroom” or to ”grab a cardigan,” so I can escape to cry it out for a few minutes in private before taking a deep breath & continuing on with my day.
I’m not saying all this for pity, but to let you know that it’s okay to not be okay. God is enough for you both. ❤️
That’s When God Showed Me What I Needed
And when I took some time & prayed for help, God whispered over my heart that His Word is like nutrition for my soul. It may seem like a supplemental snack, but it’s my soul’s nutrition. And I have been consuming a saltine cracker’s worth each day, expecting to have the emotional strength to fight the battles that come through my life.
My heart got the message. I am stubborn & lazy with how I treat God’s Word in my life… acting as if I don’t NEED it.
But I do need it, whether I realize it consciously or not.
God’s Word Is Our Soul’s Daily Nutrition
I often think of God’s Word as an encouragement or even a chance to get to know God better or to know what honors Him or what I ought to be relying on Him for as my help.
But God’s Word, although it ”simply just” seems to be those things—basically a blessing that encourages & teaches us—it is so much more than that. It is our soul’s sustenance. God’s Word is our soul’s daily nutrition.
It’s not an optional, supplemental thing… it’s vital & necessary.
God’s Word Is Vital
Being in God’s Word, the Bible, is not just to get a dose of ”Jesus Loves You,” but also teaches us how to discern the lies of Satan, so we’re not as vulnerable to his lies, harassment, & bullying. It strengthens & bolsters us against his attacks so we can stand strong.
We may have our weaknesses, aside from the attacks of Satan, BUT, Satan is always on the lookout for how to exploit those weaknesses & kick us while we’re down.
And when things in life may go wrong (when does that ever happen?) being consistent in God’s Word keeps us firm & planted, reminding us to fall into the grace of God, through the help of the Holy Spirit. It is our soul’s healthy dose of nutrition.
Are You Malnourished?
If you feel like you’re always running on empty, short-tempered, low on patience… it is most likely a red flag alerting you of your need for more time spent reading & thinking on God’s Word, & talking to Him about anxieties, worries, fears, stressors, insecurities, & anything else.
When we struggle & feel battered by Satan’s kicks while we’re down, it is definitely a good time to take a self-check & some time in prayer to God for help & discernment to see whether or not it’s because we are malnourished with our daily intake of God’s Word.
So, take a moment to ask God for a quick check up to see where your vulnerabilities & weaknesses are currently under attack & ask for His help in being more consistent in reading & dwelling on His Word to help you stand strong when the strong winds of life blow.
My Prayer of Repentance… & for Help
“I’m sorry, God, for my pride & for thinking I have what it takes without Your Word as daily food to strengthen & grow my soul & to protect & guard me against the wiles of Satan’s cunning attacks. Please help me better grow this habit of spending time in Your Word & to honor You with how I consume Your Word—regularly & consistently. Help me better cling to Your strength & Your truth over my own. Thank You eternally for Your faithfulness & goodness to me despite my lacking any deserving for it. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Shine HOPE by understanding that it’s okay to not be okay… & that you NEED the nourishment of God’s Word DAILY in your life so you are ready when both the downs of life & the attacks of Satan may come.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
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A Note from Michelle:
This blog/website has been running for ovre 4 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Northern Lights Studs
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