I Owe My Parents So Much

After I graduated college, I was already nearing 27 years old because I worked in between high school & college.

Admittedly, I had a great advantage because my parents offered to pay for my college (in lieu of a wedding, which I didn’t find out until later), but without their immense financial help, following God’s call to “go to Liberty & get a Business Marketing degree” would have been made not impossible, but much more challenging.

Along the way, my parents would also cover much of my car & health insurance costs, to be repaid after I graduated.

The Summer after College

Well, here I was, graduated, & I now had this decently sized sum of money I now needed to repay, consisting of all of the bills my parents had covered on my behalf until I could reimburse them, PLUS their desire for me to move out on my own asap to begin my life as an adult.

But there was one little problem–I didn’t have a job.

So began my hunt for a job.

God Kept Closing Doors & I Didn’t Understand Why

The hunt for a job did not go as expected. After months of searching, either I would get no positive response or I would feel the intangible wall, as if God were putting a mental blockade up, a complete lack of peace, as if to say, “thou shalt not pass.”

It was frustrating & confusing because it didn’t make sense, & quite frankly made me look bad to my parents I felt. I really wanted to impress them & I could not get a job no matter how much I prayed or searched. And when something DID get positive feedback, it was as if God always said “no.”

Sometimes Where God Leads Makes No Sense to Me

But why would God do that? God knew I owed money. God knew it made me look like a freeloader who had no plans of ever getting a job. God knew it made me look bad.

Wouldn’t He want me to pay off my debt & honor my parents’ wishes for me to move out? Wouldn’t He NOT want me to be an extra cause of stress on them? Why was He not honoring this request in helping me get a job ASAP?

It didn’t make any sense to me. I wanted to be responsible. I wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to pay my debt. I didn’t understand.

God’s Conviction When I Held Back for Myself

Then, there was one day, as I was reading my Bible before bed, that I came across these 2 annoying little verses, in Proverbs 3:27-28:

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come back, and tomorrow I will give it,” When you have it with you.”

Uggggh.

You see, I had a small savings account in my name with a few hundred dollars in it that I had been using for small comforts to still go to a movie here & there with friends or go for fast food (a certain “Mexican food” one, I might add), or get gas… but mainly, I was holding onto it just in case I had car troubles because “it’s wise to keep back up money in case that happens.” Because, well, it is wise… but God was making it clear to my heart right then that the money really didn’t belong to me & I needed to first honor my parents with the commitment I had made to them, versus riding comfortably on my buffer account.

So, I transferred every bit of it to my parents to bring down my debt, leaving only a full gas tank to go on from there forward.

God Provides as We Trust in Him

But a funny thing happened… I didn’t get a job that whole summer—but God provided for me every step of the way.

Doors would shut or God would block peace in my heart, as if to say, “trust me here… don’t take it, no matter how tempting it may be. Just trust Me & follow my lead.”

As I trusted Him in His NO for a steady income, God did something else pretty spectacular.

Every time I had a bill come due, sometimes seemingly out of the blue I would receive a babysitting job, a housesitting job, a mowing job, or some other thing that would cover the entirety of my bill & any leftovers would go to my parents (minus $20 for a new tank of gas).

God provided every single time… on time.

It Required Sacrifice, But God Provided My Needs

My life didn’t look the way I envisioned it after just graduating. I couldn’t go out to dinner with friends or see movies, but God allowed me to have fun with friends in other ways, like movie rentals or games or trips to the mall, where I didn’t have to spend money.

It was challenging to have to say no to fun activities, but I understood that until I cleared accounts with my parents & released them from that… the money wasn’t mine anyway.

I needed to honor God first & my financial commitments as well, even if it made life “less fun.”

Not only did I pay every incoming bill ON TIME… I also paid off ALL of my debt to my parents.

God Taught Me to Trust Him First… Money & Financial Security Second

And once my debt was paid in full, a job came.

It was as if God was saying to me, “I just needed you to learn that if you are seeking to honor & obey my lead, as much as it may seem to lack sense, I will provide for your needs.”

“Therefore, do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ … For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6:31-33)

This is not to say, “I am going to avoid getting a job, do whatever I want, & trust that God knows my needs & will provide for me anyway,” but rather a call to trust that as we are seeking to obey & trust God’s lead, we don’t need to be distracted with worry about our needs that God knows about & promises to supply as we follow HIS lead.

In Whatever State I’m In…

As I mentioned, trusting Him with finances may mean sacrifices to your ideal lifestyle, but it will be one blessed by His care & lead.

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11-13)

That Summer, I got just a taste of being in need, but I also got a taste of God’s careful provision as I learn to trust in Him no matter my circumstances & to honor Him with my choices, even when it’s not so easy to do so. And if I obey Him in this & seek to honor Him in this… He will always provide for me.

Where Are Your Worries? Where Is Your Trust Placed?

Do you will to trust God’s lead when it means living less than you imagined? Are you willing to let God call the shots, even if it means some sacrifice to that ideal? Are you willing to honor Him & your commitments first, even when it isn’t easy? Are you willing to trust God to provide for you?

“Thank You, Lord, for helping me grow out of my fear of lack… for showing me that as long as I am trusting You & letting You lead me, even if You don’t provide in the conventional ways, like providing me a secure job, You WILL provide my needs. Thank You, LORD!”

Shine HOPE, by doing what honors Him, even when it’s hard, & letting Him lead, even when it doesn’t make any sense to you… trusting God to always provide for your needs.

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