Too Afraid to Pray?
Have you ever felt intimidated by something that seemed too far out of your comfort zone, so you were afraid to even pray about it because you felt like God would then toss you in headfirst? I have.
Cleaning my house was one of those things. I know, I know. For some of you, it’s like, “how old are you, Michelle? You’re an ADULT.” While others may be like, “AMEN!”
Well, I had never maintained a house before I got married. A bedroom? Yes. A dorm room? Yes. A rented room? Yes. But a WHOLE HOUSE? NO.
And it was never something I was very good at.
- I didn’t have any kind of routine to know how often to clean what & what products to use, or how, etc.
- I struggle with depression, so some days I go completely numb & checked out & have about zero physical/mental energy to do anything.
So how was I supposed to take this on?
I Thought God Was Going to Guilt Me into Just “Being Better” but I Was Wrong
Now, with this specific recap of a way God worked big in my life, in showing Himself to be a gentle guide, we’re taking a little time machine back to when these chapters began, because it’s not something God just -BAM! Now you’re good at it!- It was an area where He gently led me little-by-little every year. An area where He is STILL growing me.
I got married in 2012 & as I mentioned, had never maintained a house before. It felt so overwhelming because I didn’t know what I was doing & had such low energy days sometimes, as I also mentioned above.
Praying about it was even hard because I was honestly afraid God’s answer was going to be completely unhelpful & just make me feel guilty about my very obvious lack of measuring up. Like–“just try harder, duh.”
I thought God would lead me in the way of: “You are a house-wife now that you have moved to Guam with your husband & have left your budding career behind. So, whether it’s hard or not is irrelevant. Just DO IT.” No compassion, just commands. I was so completely wrong.
You can tell I trusted God a WHOLE lot 12 years ish ago. (*Note the sarcasm.) But, if you feel that exact way, too… I GET IT.
The Pressure I Felt to be the Perfect Wife… & Never Feeling Like I Measured Up
Well, I felt a lot of internal pressure to be the perfect wife back then. Not that I don’t want to strive for my best now, but more that I grew super insecure as a newlywed, thinking the “jig would be up” at any day & my husband would think, “is this really who I settled for?” (Partly because of the lesson God had not yet grown me in with regards to LAST chapter: Read that, here: Chapter 21-Weight Does Not Equal Worth.)
So, I felt extreme pressure to prove my worth by being a “good wife.”
And I was failing at that miserably because I felt like I was drowning in incompetence when it came to house upkeep. It was overwhelming.
But, I decided to pray about it anyway, knowing God knew better than me… & I am SO glad I did.
It Was Slow Progress… But It Was Still Progress
It wasn’t an all-at-once situation, where God pressured me to be the ideal wife or otherwise I was a failure… it wasn’t a grand list of expectations that left me swirling in new habits I couldn’t nail down.
No, it was baby steps. Just an idea at a time.
I don’t remember each baby step along the way, & probably best not to share those anyway, because honestly, I want to be here to encourage you to seek Him. Your areas of feeling intimidated or overwhelmed will be different than mine & God is wise enough to help you with the baby steps tailor fit for you specifically. So, ask Him!
He has grown me from having no clue where to start to having a system down that works for me & one which He is still helping me build upon.
God Gave Me Framework to Build Upon as I Grow
As I mentioned, everyone’s schedule is different & everyone’s weaknesses will be different & everyone’s needs will be different, so please don’t take my schedule as your model, but instead, look at it as a testimony to how I went from nothing to this… aka how God was able to grow me, gently & little-by-little (NOT all at once) to this. He. Is. Able.
- Mondays: Wipe down entire kitchen (including microwave/toaster oven) & gather/take out trash.
- Tuesdays: Straighten up & do laundry.
- Wednesdays: Clean bathrooms.
- Thursdays: Clean the kitty litter & sweep/mop the house.
- Fridays: Vacuum.
I can’t stress enough to you how overwhelming this schedule would have been to me as a newly married woman. But now, it’s actually almost second nature to me because God has used gentle building blocks over a decade to get me to this.
My Daily Building Blocks
Another struggle of mine has been surprise plans… aka things that come up that are unplanned or spontaneous… it would throw my whole routine out of whack & I would end up getting nothing done.
So, I prayed about that, too. And God gave me a system that works with how my brain works. Items are broken down into 30-minute, doable increments. That way, if something comes up, I know I will miss this chunk & can move that chunk to a different hour of the day or switch it with something less urgent.
Every morning, in 30-minute chunks, I start with Bible time at the kitchen table, then make a nutritious breakfast, then do my day’s chores, then do an extra task like shower, pay bills, organize a closet, etc. After that is a 30-minute break, then some time to work on a hobby/other, like my blog, website/resource building, crafts, sign language, or piano… & finally, I do a workout video, make the bed, hang up draped-over-the-bed clothes, & get ready for work.
It’s become so engrained in me that it just sort of flows now. I used to have an alarm set for every half hour to help me stay on track… but I have deleted all except the ones on the hour because my system feels so natural to me now! That would have felt ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE even 5 years ago!
God Knows What I Need… He Is My Gentle Guide
God has helped me build a system that works well for me. It has shifted & changed over the years to fit my schedule… & tasks have increased as I grew more comfortable & confident with one habit or another to the point where it felt second-nature.
But most importantly, it has been something God grew me up in over a decade’s time. Not all in year one of marriage… & not without prayer for help with each new step.
And even ON TOP OF all of the habit-building growth… He has helped me develop in making tasks more manageable if they were extra intimidating to me or if back problems made them extra challenging… so I would pray that type of way as well. And He was faithful to help me find alternatives!
Whether it be a mop system I felt worked easier/better… cleaning cloths that made it much easier to get up grime… a cleaning brush on a long rod to help me clean the glass shower walls & bathtub without having to strain my back leaning & reaching to scrub it… etc. God has given me so many personalized “hacks” along the way to help me feel each task is more manageable for me personally. What a caring, loving, wise GOD!
It’s Not Just with Cleaning the House, Either!
This same concept of praying & trusting God over things that feel intimidating can be applied to any area of life… being willing to say, “if I ask God for help with this, I can trust Him to know my limits (even fears) & to help me walk through them in His wisdom to help me.”
God cares enough about us not to guilt or shame us into action.
He gently guides. He knows He is sovereign in our lack. So, He gently, patiently, kindly guides.
A Personalized Plan
It makes me think of the beginning of this school year. I had felt burdened/encouraged by the word “support” for my team, but didn’t really know how I could flesh that out. Beyond doing my job, it felt intimidating.
But it was on my heart, so I prayed about it, asking God to help me flesh that burden out to know how I, personally, could manage more without it becoming a nagging burden or something I couldn’t maintain. I trusted Him to know the how better than me.
And He was faithful. He encouraged me to make little notes to leave in the teachers’ mailboxes each first Monday of the month.
Striving to be a Support… As I Pray… & As God Leads Me Personally
Sometimes the teacher notes were a call to remember their true ‘why’ in being a light for Jesus. Others were more of an encouragement to keep going, resting in God through every hard day. And some were a reminder that God was ready to be their sufficiency where they feel they lack.
Each have a verse that corresponds to it on the reverse side of the note.
Each month, I pray & ask God what I should write in my little paragraph worth of space… & I write what He puts on my heart.
Some months feel shallow or repetitive from a previous note… but even when I am feeling that way, God shows me how it was no mistake & that the words were meant for someone specific even. God always knows what’s needed better than I do.
I just have to be willing to trust & obey His lead.
(Eventually, when the year is over, I plan to upload these teacher notes as a FREE download in the resource section of my website, so whether you’re a teacher or you know a teacher, you can print the notes to build them up & encourage them each month—or use them as a springboard to make your own as God leads you! Check out what else I have created with God’s help & have made available for FREE downloads in my Resource tab @ Resources for You | Michelle Hyde Online.)
What About You?
So what task, mission, etc. might you be avoiding or trying to put out of your mind because it feels too overwhelming & you’re afraid that if you ask God, He may pressure you to do something you feel you’re incapable of?
Try asking Him anyway… try trusting that He is a gentle, loving God Who cares for you. You can trust Him. He is a gentle, sovereign Guide.
Shine HOPE by being willing to trust God with the things that feel too hard or too overwhelming or too intimidating for you to overcome.
Coming Next Week
Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement right here on my blog/website @ www.MichelleHydeOnline.com.
Share with friends & family… & SUBSCRIBE by “Joining My Tribe,” so you never miss a week!
As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.
A Note from Michelle:
(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)
This blog/website has been running for over 5.5 years now! THANK YOU for your continued support & encouragement. <3
If you would like to learn more of my story, check out the “About Me” tab. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” tab, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox (make sure to check your other inbox folders), along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Fashion as a Force for GOOD:
Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Patina Clay Bracelet (HAITI)
This ethically made Patina Clay Bracelet features handmade, painted clay beads to replicate a patina style accented with smaller brass beads. The handcrafted Haitian clay beads make each stretch-to-fit Patina Clay Bracelet unique!
*****Every purchase provides jobs for women in areas of extreme poverty in Haiti and helps mamas keep their babies out of poverty orphanages.*****
How You Can Help the Artisans & Support My Website:
SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!
Your purchases not only help these women, but my commissions help me in continuing this website/blog, encouraging women all around the world with the HOPE we have in Jesus. Win-win-win!
Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week!
