Personal Boundaries Are Good… But…

I have talked recently how there was a time in my life where I moved to a new place & everyone seemed to be singing to the same tune & I felt out of place, like I didn’t belong & didn’t fit in because I “didn’t know the words.”

It was a Christian culture cultivated to help set boundaries for the staff, in order to represent Jesus well—in other words, the intentions were in the right place, I believe, but because I didn’t grow up under these same boundaries & rules, I automatically felt noticeably different from everyone… like I didn’t fit.

On top of that, I did, unfortunately, meet some judgement from a select few who had taken those boundaries to another level—almost as if it defined them personally as being a good Christian because they grew up within these boundaries—it sort of became an unrecognized, subtle self-righteousness where it was sometimes a little too easy to look down on someone’s standing with God if they didn’t follow these same boundaries.

And because they were fellow Christians & I trusted THEIR faith to be sincere, I began to question my OWN faith & whether it was sincere “enough” to make me a “good Christian.”

Happy Plastic People–The Pressures to Seem Perfect

Have you ever been a part of a church & you felt like you just could not measure up because everyone was always happy, always perfect? … While you felt like the hot mess express? That’s been me.

I don’t know why we feel so much pressure to show up with everything already figured out, as if we have it together all the time if we want to be considered a “good” Christian, as if you didn’t just yell at your kids in the car on the way to church. (I don’t have kids, but I can definitely relate to the general idea.)

And the unspoken expectation for leadership to always appear perfect? What an unfair, impossible standard. I have always been friends with many in leadership, from working as a Sunday School teacher or Bible study leader alongside my former youth pastor, to being the church secretary & spending most days learning from & chatting with our pastor, to being close friends with a pastor & his wife in Japan. And let me tell you–they are no closer to perfection than any of us. They are human, too.

Why is there so much pressure to seem perfect? To be happy plastic people?

Do You Too Feel Ashamed of Your Struggles Sometimes?

I have actually felt ASHAMED of weakness before. As if my struggle made me less of a Christian. As if I needed to hide it & cover it up so that no one would find out.

I don’t want my faith questioned.

But then, I have been reading the Bible every day for years now & I notice a pattern—the rough parts, the bad decisions, the moments of faith lacking… they aren’t sugarcoated in the Bible at all. They’re told, & used, to point people to where our TRUE strength, wisdom, confidence, grace, & HOPE come from—GOD, through Jesus Christ!

Their weaknesses exposed, their doubts are talked about, their mistakes are displayed, their decisions to trust themselves in place of God are discussed in detail… dumpster fire aftermath included.

Even the Ones We Put on Pedestals

Even the big heroes of the faith who are used as examples for us to follow made huge mistakes…sometimes knowingly—even them!

David, a man after God’s own heart—lusted, acted on it, & had her husband killed to cover it up, then DID NOT repent right away until confronted about it much later.

Jonah straight up RAN, even though it says he KNEW the people would turn from their wickedness back to God if he obeyed.

Abraham slept with his wife’s servant, at her suggestion… & caused understandable conflict with his wife & the servant… all because he doubted God’s promises.

Paul was given a huge second chance redemption story & then absolutely refused to give JohnMark a second chance, even though suggested by the same man (Barnabas) who had stood up for HIM when everyone was too afraid of his past.

And then, don’t even get me started on the Israelites, God’s chosen people. Sheesh, talk about setting a bad example.

The Bible, through God’s inspiration, does not share about a bunch of strong, perfect people, but of weak, imperfect people used by a grace-giving, all-powerful, loving GOD.

Living with Grace

How easily I can discount someone for being unfaithful to God, as if that hasn’t described me many a time in different seasons of my own life!

How easy it can be to sugarcoat our own shortcomings, instead of using these weaknesses as a stage for God’s grace & glory to be for us what we fail to be ourselves.

When the Bible talks about being “above reproach,” I do not think it is saying to pretend we never mess up, sugarcoat or mask when we do, pretending it never happened.

I think it means to do your best in every circumstance to live well-pleasing to God, but when you DO INEVITABLY mess it up… use it to point others to our hope in JESUS, not us.

NOT—“pretend to be perfect” to set a “good example.” People don’t need to see that you never struggle… they need to see that when you DO struggle, you know where to turn–to GOD, through Jesus.

Always Let Your Life Point to HIM

Think about it–Does your life demonstrate your own strength? Or His?

YES, do your best on all accounts to live in a way that honors God, pleases Him, & gives Him all the glory He deserves. YES.

But don’t hide your broken parts. Use them to let His goodness, His glory, & His grace shine through all the cracks of your life.

The Bible, inspired by God, doesn’t pretend… mask… sugarcoat… so neither should we.

No more happy plastic people. Give yourself (& others) permission to be a work in progress.

My Weaknesses for HIS Glory

Real, raw, forgiven by the grace of GOD, through Jesus Christ, our LORD!

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

Shine HOPE by allowing yourself permission to not pretend, & to use your failings, your weaknesses, your insecurities, & your mistakes as platforms to demonstrate God’s unfailing wisdom, power, grace, love, & HOPE through JESUS.

Coming Next Week

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As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts ,” as well as “Prayers of Surrender” prayer guides!***)

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

September 2024 Hope Mail (KENYA & INDIA)

Enjoy free shipping on your September Hope Mail package that includes our Ava Earrings handmade in Kenya, Spice Cake Lip Balm from India, and our celebratory Birthday Cake Sticker!

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Love ya lots! Have a wonderful week living for His glory in all that you do!