A Magical Christmas Ideal

How do you picture an ideal Merry Christmas?

For me, I envision garlands & twinkling lights. I think of Christmas songs playing merrily on the radio while I drive past decorated homes. I dream of Christmas cookies, Christmas candle scents, & belly laughs with friends. Merriment, joy, contentment. I think of beautifully wrapped presents under a beautifully decorated tree. Friends & family & food & lights & bright colors everywhere. To me, that is my ideal Merry Christmas.

But What About When It’s Not So Perfect?

But what about the woman who sits in her living room, staring blankly out at a black night, feeling the emptiness of the seat beside her. Her children are grown, her husband has passed away, & her future is uncertain & gray. A tear drops onto her cheek. For her, her silent night is deafening.

But what about the mom whose husband is not around, kids begging for presents she can’t afford… Working two jobs & trying her best to take time to decorate & gift the best she can, trying to find time to make some semblance of merry exist for her children’s sake, but constantly feeling like she comes up short. The crying, the chaos, the stress. For her, her silent night is never silent.

But what about the woman who looks around at couples holding hands over the holidays, seeing Christmas movies about falling in love under the mistletoe & she wonders if she is just too messed up or just not good enough to ever be truly loved like that. She feels lonely & sad & a burden to everyone around her because of it, trying her best to be merry for their sakes, while feeling the heavy weight of lonely longing relentlessly pressing down on her heavy heart. For her, her silent night is a night filled with silent sobs.

But what about the girl lying in a hospital bed, seeing the paper cutouts of snowflakes on the wall, made by friends attempting to help her feel the hope she does not feel, knowing her diagnosis is grim, knowing her pain is causing her family pain, but not being able to do anything about it. For her, her silent night is terrifying.

Missing a loved one who is gone… Money too tight to pay the incoming bills… A weighty medical diagnosis… Betrayal, hurt, or rejection… Empty, alone… Abuse… Sick or dying… No backup plan… A scary, uncertain future… For some, their reality is that it is hard to imagine having a merry Christmas in a less than merry life.

A Christmas with Room for the Hurting

This isn’t told to be the downer… to make you feel guilt… to weigh you down & steal your joy… but to open your heart with perspective, that for some, it is hard to have a merry Christmas in a less than merry life.

If you were to scroll back up & read all about my picture-perfect, ideal merry Christmas, their stories just don’t mesh well with any of it–But it is their reality all the same, Christmas or not… convenient timing or not.

My temptation is to cling to my description of an ideal merry Christmas & to tune out anything that doesn’t fit, but is that the heart of Christ? No, it isn’t.

I need to learn better to make room in my Christmas for the less than ideal, too.

Jesus Didn’t Come to Avoid the Pain, But to Bring Hope for the Hurting

I think of the good Samaritan story in the Bible (Luke 10:25-37), telling of those who saw the beat up, bloodied man who had been robbed & left for dead, & yet, they swerved to the other side of the road & pretended not to notice as they passed by. Is that what I do when I want to cling to my Christmas ideal?

Jesus knew why He was coming to earth as God & man. He knew the reason He was coming to be born… Jesus knew what Christmas was really about–it was about bringing HOPE to the hurting (Luke 2:8-14).

He sees your story, your reality–no matter how merry or how messy. He sees every tear, every choked back sob, every desperate, lonely, aching heart. He doesn’t try to block it out because it’s not “merry enough” for His birthday. No, quite the contrary.

Jesus came knowing our realities, even when they are grim & bleak & less than ideal… He came understanding the hurts caused by this sin-torn world. His heart ached for our aches. His love for us demanded He do something about it.

He came so that we may have life & have it more abundantly (John 10:10). He came to give us life, through HIS life (1 John 3:16-18).

And so: Christmas.

A Whispered Prayer for Hope

Sometimes, when life is hard & our faith is weak, it’s a weak, whispered prayer uttered from a numbness within, saying, “Lord…. Lord…. I just can’t. Please help me. I have no hope left. I’m sorry I have such little faith. I’m sorry that all I see is my pain & struggle & hurt & fear. I’m sorry. But please. Please help me to have hope. Help me to learn how You can be enough for me when I feel so empty. I don’t understand how that can be, but God, You are bigger than me. Help me see. Help me believe. Help give me hope. Thank You for coming. I clearly don’t deserve it because instead of rejoicing, I am despairing. I am underestimating You at every turn, I know it. Please forgive me. But thank You for coming for me. Thank You for not trying to tune out my sorrow to keep the day “merry.” Thank You for loving me in my mess & lack of faith. Thank You for never leaving nor forsaking me. Thank You for being born on this earth, God as man, Emmanuel “God with us.” And thank You for demonstrating that love through action. Thank You for coming to pay my price for me. For loving me that much. You are greatly to be praised. Thank You Jesus. Thank You. I don’t know what is to come, but I do know that You are here & You are near me & that You care so much that You came to die for me, to rise again to conquer the penalty of my sin. Thank You. Amen.”

God’s Blessings IN the Hard

I have been studying the fruit of the Spirit with a group of ladies at church & one point that consistently stuck out to me was that little word “OF.” Not the fruit of me. Not the fruit of MY efforts. Not the fruit I produce…. But, the fruit OF the Spirit.

Do you know what the fruit OF the Spirit is? It is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

What is the significance of that little word “of” before “the Spirit”? It means that it is not something we produce in ourselves “if we try hard enough” to BE loving, BE joyful, BE at peace, BE patient, etc. etc. etc….. No, it is that, as we draw near to God, seeking Him in all things big or small, seeking to know & love Him more, seeking to lean on & rely on Him more in life… HE produces those things within us.

In other words, as we draw from Him & rely on Him, the return on our “investment” in that relationship with Him is His producing of love, joy, peace, etc. in us.

How can we claim that our God does not love us SO MUCH when this is what He wishes to pour into our life? God blesses us, even IN the hard. (Psalm 94:19)

Having a Merry Christmas in a Less Than Merry Life

How can I have a Merry Christmas in a less than merry life? Because I don’t have to try to be & do & live all of those things to be a “good enough” Christian. I just have to pour my life into Him & watch as He pours all of that into my life.

Imagine a joy & a peace that says, “Everything is falling apart, & yet, somehow I just know God has a plan for it & will help see me through it. God, You are good, even when my life isn’t!”

Imagine a love & a patience that says, “This wrong was done against me, but no matter how many times I wrong God, He just keeps on loving me & being gracious with me. And if God can do that for me, I can certainly do it for someone else, with God’s help.”

Imagine experiencing the pain of the stories I shared, but also knowing you are held & loved by the Jesus we celebrate Christmas for? That despite your wrongs & many shortcomings, He pursues you & loves you with a love that can’t ever be taken away or diminished.

We can have a Merry Christmas in a less than merry life because we can remember why we celebrate Christmas… WHO we celebrate at Christmas.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

“Lord, thank You. Thank You for coming for my stubborn, prone-to-complaining, clings-to-comforts-more-than-to-You self. Thank You for never giving up on me. Thank You for determining to pursue me even when I am sour & bitter & angry with You when my life isn’t going well. Thank You for not rejecting me in anger, but forgiving me over & over again. Thank You for being so selfless when You, of ANYONE have a right to be completely, consumingly selfish. You are so gentle & kind in contrast to my demanding & selfish heart. You are so patient & loving when all I want sometimes is for life to go MY way. I don’t deserve Christmas one bit. But You still came, even for me. I can celebrate Christmas because of YOU. I’m sorry I cling to my ideals. I’m sorry I try to tune out the less than ideal. Help me to love like You. Help me to love more sacrificially, even if it means infiltrating the darkness of someone else’s grim Christmas. Help me to love better. Forgive me, please. Help me to love like You, in that, even though it’s YOUR birthday we are meant to be celebrating at Christmas, You didn’t make Your birthday about Yourself, but You condescended into the form of a weak human, & You offered Your life to us. You came to give Yourself, both in Your life & in Your death. You are the definition of love. Thank You & Happy birthday, Jesus! AMEN!”

Make Room in Your Christmas for the Less Than Merry

How can you help spread the hope of Christmas? The love that Jesus displayed in His birth?

• Look around for who is sitting alone at church & invite them to sit with you… or ask to sit with them.
• Know someone having a hard Christmas because of loss or a different painful struggle? Bring them cookies with a note of hope & encouragement. Don’t know what to write? Write a prayer for God to show His love to them & to offer them hope in the midst of the darkness they may be experiencing.
• Send a widow a letter with plenty of pretty stickers to decorate the card.
• Ask to pray with someone.
• Invite some singles who are away from family to join you for Christmas dinner or cookies.
• Organize to send Christmas goody packages to college students unable to return home for Christmas break.
• Send a letter to a prisoner or someone deployed & away from home.
• Serve at the homeless shelter.
• Bring gifts for orphanages.
• Give Gospel tracts WITH a tip

Shine HOPE This Christmas

Find ways to bring HOPE to the hurting this Christmas & ask God to show you ways to do it where you are, with the resources & abilities He has given you.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him, & He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:6)

Shine HOPE by being willing to have a less than ideal, perfect, sparkling, merry Christmas & look to where you can share some Christmas cheer, by sharing the hope we have in Jesus.

Coming Next Week

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A Note from Michelle:

(***Check out my newly added FREE Journal Printable Resources: “Accountability Partner Guide + Question Prompts” & “Bible Study Question Prompts”!***)

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Consider these pieces when shopping for friends, family, or yourself. Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Eucalyptus Rosemary Soap (India)

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SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michellehyde.tradesofhope@gmail.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

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