An “Impossible” Peace

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Have you ever stopped to consider what it really means to have peace that goes beyond your understanding?

I have talked on this before, but as I am learning more about daily, moment-by-moment surrender to God, to include my very grumpy mornings as of late, this concept of impossible peace has become a comforting, non-understandable companion of mine. And I want you to see how you can have it, too.

Many a Sleepless Night

You see, it has been a long time since I have slept well. And, while many have conjectured the reasons, whether it be hormonal or anxiety or whatever else, there really isn’t any clear explanation at all as to why I am not sleeping much.

It’s always different. I feel no anxiety or worries floating around in my head. I’m not thinking about anything at all & in fact, constantly feel in a state of “I’m about to drift off” but sometimes never actually do. The reason for my lack of sleep is never consistent.

There’s the stray dogs that gather outside our bedroom window & decide to join as a chaotic choir of shrill, loud barks in the middle of the night at random times. There’s my husband’s leg that jerks along with his dreams some nights as he sleeps. There’s the inconsolable itches in my nose or a clog I can’t seem to adequately clear or a tickle in my throat that threatens to explode into a barrage of loud, wake-the-husband coughs that I strain to contain. Sometimes it’s a fold in the sheets under my leg that my brain fixates on with hypersensitivity, like I am embodying the princess & the pea. And in the course of one single night, sometimes it is ALL OF THE ABOVE.

It has been rough. I’m not going to lie to you about that.

The Hard Hasn’t Stopped… But…

Some nights, after HOURS of “almost there, almost about to drift into deep, blissful sleep” moments where I am jerked awake by any one of those things I mentioned above… after hours of being so sleepy, so relaxed, so on the edge of slumber, but unsuccessful… well, sometimes I resort to silent screaming into my pillow, whimpering pathetically as quietly as I can, or just giving up altogether & just getting up.

In fact, after resorting to all three of those a few nights ago, I eventually sat down at my dining room table at around 4am, put my elbows on the table, put my face in my palms, & I just sat there & sobbed for about 20-30 minutes.

Frustration. Exhaustion. Maddening countless failed attempts to sleep. It was all too much. And this, mind you, is after MONTHS of this happening several times a week, if not more.

And I have prayed. OH HOW I HAVE PRAYED for it to stop so I could JUST SLEEP.

But no relief comes. But….

Does God Really Care? Even When It Stays Hard?

And to be honest with you, when times like this, where troubles just kept coming at me with little to no relief & my prayers seemed to be to no avail, I was really, really tempted & sometimes full-on gave in to doubting that God even cared about me at all.

Shame on me.

But God has been preparing me for this very season through my personally learned lessons of surrender lately. He’s been teaching me that He is enough when I am not even close. That He can be my strength when I am depleted. That He can hold me up & lift me when I feel sunken into the ground in defeat.

He really is enough.

And that’s what I want to urge you to consider. That He is enough, even when it makes absolutely no sense that you can feel you have lost everything & still have everything.

His Peace Seems Impossible When It Is Present on the Darkest of Nights

Impossible peace is not so impossible with God.

It is very much possible… through crying out to Him AS your help in times of trouble.

*Now, there is a pre-requisite, if you will… Knowing & accepting His Son, Jesus, as your Savior from your sin. We all sin. We all deserve Hell. But God offers hope, through Jesus. Do you know Him? (Read more about that in “Have You Met Jesus?” & “Am I Going to Hell?”) Because THAT peace is what your heart really craves above ALL else.*

You see, I used to think that crying out to Him as my help in times of trouble meant that I need to trust Him to fix everything for me so I can just be happy again.

But no. That’s not it.

Praise Him in Every Circumstance

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

“I will praise the Lord at all times.
    I will constantly speak his praises.” (Psalm 34:1)

This peace that goes beyond understanding, this IMPOSSIBLE PEACE, means that EVEN WHEN THE STORMS STILL RAGE… you can have peace through Him.

That is why the disciples could sing praise to God while sitting in prison. (Acts 16:24-25)

That is why God says to praise Him in every circumstance. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

That is why God says to not lean on our own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

How You Can Have Impossible Peace

My physical body is weak. I am tired almost all the time lately. I wake up so many days mad at my alarm, signifying that time is up… no more attempts for sleep tonight….

And I have a lot to surrender lately because of all that.

And I may feel like I am breaking, but I am not broken.

I may feel weak, but He IS my strength when I call out to Him.

My days may start off with an angry, temper-tantrum worthy attitude of frustration, but when I ask God to forgive me for it & I ask Him to be my enough somehow that day… He shows Himself quite enough for me every time.

How can you have impossible peace? Through calling out to Him AS your help.

I don’t like feeling weak. I don’t like feeling like I have to ask for help in the dumbest, littlest ways as if I am completely worthless… but let me tell you what… I like knowing He is enough, always, 100%.

Am I Willing to Surrender This to Him as My Help?

The question I have to ask myself when I am being broken down is this: “Am I willing to surrender this to Him for help? Am I willing to entrust my nothing for His everything? Or am I going to demand to feel I am enough on my own?”

Satan Wants Me Broken… Wants Me to Quit… But God Wants Me to KNOW God Is Enough, Even If

I strongly believe that my lack of sleep is spiritual warfare. If you doubt Satan does stuff like that, just spend some time reading the book in the Bible: Job. (Job) Because there is no clear reason, nor any CONSISTENT reason why I can’t sleep.

I feel like Satan is hating what I am learning about surrender, aka taking my lacking & knowing I can trade that in for God’s everything if I am but willing to surrender to His help versus demand I feel adequate on my own again.

I feel like Satan wants me to throw in the towel & say, “Heck no! This is NOT worth it! I feel tired all the time & it is so HARD & I HATE hard! Forget it! I want it to be easy again! I don’t want to NEED God for even the tiniest things! It’s TOO HARD! I quit!”

But God whispers gently the reminder that each & every time I have chosen surrender on those very hard mornings following bad sleep… that God was faithful… He showed up… He helped me put one foot in front of the other like a constant Companion & Guide… He comforted me in my most uncomfortable moments. That He was very much ENOUGH for me.

I am But Human… Thankfully, God Is MORE

Am I tempted some mornings to listen to Satan & throw in the towel & quit & say, “But I don’t WANT it to be HARD anymore!” Yes. Sadly, yes. I like feeling the lie that I can take care of myself just fine & rely on a restful night sleep after a long day so I can wake up refreshed & ready for the next day, feeling strong. I WANT THAT SO BADLY when struggling to sleep in the middle of the night!

But God has been giving me impossible peace each day when sleep happens to elude me. He has helped me see I can trust Him with more than I thought.

My Excuses… My Fears… Compared to God’s Everything

And He has shown me another very important thing through this hard, sometimes so frustrating journey… that my previous struggle of merely being a light sleeper kept me from thriving because I always chose extra chances for sleep versus taking time with Him every morning before I began each day, worried I wouldn’t sleep enough otherwise.

But now, I barely sleep anyway. And yet… God has shown Himself more than sufficient for me through it….

And if He is sufficient when I get no sleep, how much more so if I am getting less sleep ON PURPOSE because I desire to give Him honor by spending time with Him before I start each day, asking for His help & guiding hand to lead my thoughts & actions.

Satan wants me to stay stuck. To say, “See, you’re never guaranteed sleep… so just set your alarm as late as you can… or don’t set it at all… just in case.”

But if God can prove Himself to be more than sufficient in this season of intense & agonizing sleeplessness, then He can supply for me what I need in order to take some time each morning, intentionally, to spend time honoring Him each morning before I start my day.

No more living in fear of lack of sleep. I’m not getting much these days anyway.

I Can Have Impossible Peace… Even IN the Hard… & SO. CAN. YOU.

Time to surrender even my fear of not getting enough sleep to God & time to start asking Him to give me enough clarity of thought to spend time dedicating my day to Him each morning… even if I don’t get ANY sleep… & even if it means risking less sleep.

Because He really is enough. And He really can supply “impossible” peace… even when it seems, well, impossible… if I am but willing to surrender my need to Him AS my help.

Shine HOPE by not letting Satan call the shots or discourage you away from all the many ways God can stand in the gap for you & be your more than enough… by determining to rely on God’s impossible peace.

Coming Next Week

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Kaia Earrings (Philippines)

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