I_Thought_I_was_a_Good_Person-I_was_Wrong

Sounds Good to Me…

We all like to think of ourselves as good people, don’t we?

Except for those low days that we may feel self-loathing, we generally feel like we are pretty good.

At least I do.

Maybe it’s because we help others who are hurting. Maybe we give money to people in need. Maybe we are generally pretty kind with others. Maybe we’re good at forgiving others. Maybe a million other things that are good things in & of themselves… But do they make US good?

I Like to Think of Myself

I like to think about my good qualities, & ignore my bad qualities. Weaknesses are a different thing altogether—I can acknowledge those pretty easily—but “badness” or evil or sin? Nope… I like to justify those into oblivion.

Are you with me on that? Do you also try to excuse your own bad behavior? Bad thoughts? Bad past (or present)?

Sometimes we are too busy comparing the bad with the good, feeling the latter outweighs the former.

Sometimes we are too busy comparing our badness with someone else’s whose is “worse.”

Sometimes we are just plain ignorant.

Sometimes we are too busy justifying our own actions to see there actually was a better alternative.

We all have our own personal ways of covering up the less appealing sides of ourselves.

The Pressure to “Be Good”

We sometimes feel pressure from others who expect better or seem better than we are, & we fake a façade to fit in or be liked.

But count on this… that evil is there.

I grew up in a Christian home & was taught from a young age all of the right things to say & all the right things to do. I was pretty much taught how to ACT good. But on the inside, I was just like anyone else. Rotten.

Growing up, knowing I knew all of the “right” things to do & say, I began believing that I was a pretty good person, compared to the world, at least.

I grew accustomed to subconsciously conducting a goodness check on myself, realizing that I at least wasn’t doing “that.”

But all of that was a lie I used to make me feel good about myself… justified… deserving of the grace God had given me.

HA.

Anyone else fool yourselves into thinking such things?

We Can’t Earn It, Sista!

Like we could ever earn the grace of God?

God tells us in the Bible that there is none who is good, no not one—[including myself—Michelle Hyde].

He tells us that our righteousness is like dirty rags.

He tells us it is by Grace that we are saved, through faith, so that no one may boast.

You see, when we believe we are generally good people, we are lying to ourselves. Flat out lying.

The Missing Piece

We are also depriving ourselves when we tell ourselves these lies.

How are we depriving ourselves? Because we are placing the weight of our redemption on the measure of our own goodness—continually falling short, of course.

There is freedom in recognizing our evil condition. There is freedom in realizing our complete depravity.

There is freedom in recognizing our lack of goodness because instead of trying furiously to maintain the right to grace, we can fall on our face before God & fully accept His free gift, knowing His love is so great that even though we don’t even come close to deserving it—He still offers it to us, even knowing us better than we know ourselves.

A Rocky Road with Zero Marshmallows

I have mentioned before that God has been taking me down a path of learning, to learn to rely on Him more than I rely on myself.

It’s been hard. (Hard is a huge understatement, by the way—imagine instead, me crumpled on the floor in tears some days).

It’s been hard because He has been revealing my own depravity to me. And that’s never fun. He has slowly been revealing my inward, hidden & excused-away SIN.

It’s a comfort to us, to feel like we somehow deserve the grace God offers us & to feel like we can somewhat control each situation on our own, without His help or guidance… But when God takes that lie away, it’s not so fun–trust me.

He has let me wallow in it at times, merely to show me that it’s not my own goodness or strength or wisdom that gives me victory over it—it’s His alone.

On My Own is Not Where I Want to Be

If He left me to myself… I would be just as capable of doing the worst things as anyone else… Things that would ruin me.

I am naturally a sinful person. We all are.

I like to look out for myself first. I like to think I’m great. I like to hope everyone believes I am so, so good.

But the reality is? I am just as depraved as the “worst” of us. And I am just as undeserving as the “worst” of us.

We All Need It

God is revealing to me my inward struggle. He is letting me see the shameful temptations & the awful, selfish attitudes that live in me. He is letting me see the NEED I have for HIS GRACE.

The even more beautiful truth behind this self-revelation is how wrong it is for me to gauge how deserving certain people are of God’s grace compared to others.

I don’t do this consciously, mind you—I am not a heartless, uncaring person—but it’s a natural thing to see certain sins or wrongs & wonder if they could ever submit to the grace of God–or maybe they just deserve it less than others.

But God…

But God does the saving, not us (Thank God!!!), & His redemption & grace covers everything, without discrimination of our past (Again, THANK GOD!).

Take Saul, in the Bible, for instance. He murdered Christians. A LOT of Christians. He was infamous for it & just his name alone could scare people to the core.

But God spoke to Saul, humbled him, & changed the course of history through his life. God gave him a new name—Paul–& Paul became one of the absolute most influential ambassadors of hope to the world.

God Does the Changing in Us

God changes people.

Let me say that again, in case you missed it… GOD. CHANGES. PEOPLE.

Not us. Not our goodness. Not our efforts. GOD’s. HIM, ONLY.

All we are asked to do is to take our sorry state of depravity, bow before His HOLY throne, & pour it all out at His feet.

We don’t have to become perfect first. We don’t have to prove our goodness or worth. We don’t have to offer sacrifices & earn our way into grace….

He Sees Us… All of Us… And He Loves Us

He looks at us. He sees our depravity. He sees the helpless attempts to hide our sin. He has compassion on us. He reaches out His hand & draws us to Himself. He changes us. He saves us. Him.

You see, He created us. He gave us free will to choose Him or reject Him. He never wanted to force us against our will to love or obey Him—that wouldn’t be love. But He knew before He created us, that this would create opportunity for sin—a rejecting of His ways for ours. He knew the hurt this would cause. He knew that we wouldn’t be able to fully ever wash ourselves from that sin & depravity to enter again into His HOLY presence. He knew all of that before He created us.

He knew that we would need a Savior. He knew He would have to send His Son, Jesus, to cover what we could not, in order to pull us back into His HOLY presence.

And guess what? He still created us. He watched us fall. He watched us try & fail at redeeming ourselves. And He sent Jesus to save all who would come asking.

We are lost without Him… Every single one of us.

God is Enough

We have shame.

We have guilt.

We have stains we cannot wash away.

We have hurts.

We have scars.

We have a “ME” we hide away.

But God is enough.

God is enough.

God is ENOUGH to wash it all away.

So, come to Him.

Lay it all before Him.

And let HIM be the Goodness & Redemption that your hungry heart craves.

Lay It All Down

We may be REALLY good at hiding our sin & our depravity—even to ourselves.

But God sees it. He sees it all.

And still He holds out His hand to us, an open invitation for Grace & Redemption. To become His beloved children. To be freed from the chains of our sin & shame. To live in His LOVE.

So, Lovely, take a moment to consider your own depravity.

You don’t have to cover it or hide it, because God already sees it & loves you anyway.

Just come to Him with it all.

Say something like, “God, I can’t. I just can’t. I try so hard to convince myself & others that I am so good, but we both know it’s a lie. I am so selfish, so proud, so undeserving. Please forgive me for my wrong attitudes, my wrong thoughts, my wrong choices, & the wrongs I have done to others whom you also love. Please forgive me. Change me. Help me become the woman you created me to be. Help me see the me You intended me to be. Wash me clean. Change me. Shape me. Forgive me. Be my Lord, my Savior, my Father, my HOLY GOD. Amen!”

That’s all we have to do to receive God’s grace. Lay it all before Him & allow Him to work in & change you into His beautiful vision of you. The old you washed away. The new you just beginning.

God Doesn’t Discriminate

God doesn’t discriminate based on “severity of sin” but rather loves us all indiscriminately.

So, come to Him, depravity & all, & let Him be the change you seek.

Let Him have the GLORY, forever & ever, AMEN.

Shine His Light of HOPE to the world, Lovely—SHINE HOPE.

Coming Next Week

To be honest with you… I don’t know.

I had a plan, but God seems to be washing that away, whether to show me that I need to lean on Him, or whether He has a different plan than I do, I don’t know. But I had nothing to say today, other than a prayer that God would use me as a vessel of hope somehow in the blankness of my mind today, & this is what came of it.

Stay tuned & pray for me. Pray that I don’t hide away from the hard lessons I need to learn. Pray that I don’t put on a façade of perfection, but rather bare my soul & weaknesses to the world, so that others may see His HOPE & not me.

Love you, Lovely!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Willow Necklace

Willow_Necklace

Representing Women Artisans in Haiti!

Wear this hand-rolled clay and paper bead piece as a double strand necklace or detach one strand for a matching bracelet. Accented with micro paper beads.

Artisan Information:

Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who had to give them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children with them! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Haiti!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

 

Let\'s Encourage Each Other!

Written by Michelle Hyde
Hello Lovely Ladies! I look forward to encouraging you today. I help weary women find hope & SHINE like they were always meant to! Let's do this journey together! If you want to learn how you can spread HOPE around the globe, Click Here to Learn More!