Dancing the Line
I grew up looking for what I could get away with when it came to the Bible. I was definitely swayed by the world around me, wanting to fit in, but also wanting to “technically” obey God.
Dancing the line between honoring God & still getting to live the way I wanted led me to lean heavily on the “well that’s okay as long as I don’t __________” judgment calls I made along the way.
For example, I may have been a flirt, making inappropriate jokes, but I didn’t use foul language or have sex, so I thought I was doing okay.
Sometimes it’s just the “acceptable practices” of other Christians I saw that helped me feel justified in doing what I wanted that wasn’t technically a sin at all.
Taking a Step Back
But I think it’s important to take a step back & consider those things… not just only for the purpose of better honoring & pleasing God with our choices, trying to be a “better Christian,” but also because God puts those boundaries in place because He KNOWS that without them, we set ourselves up for more hurt, struggle, & temptation that He never wanted us to have to battle.
So, in learning discernment, it is important to ask yourself, even in the “accepted by Christian society” options available to you, do your decisions sow or stir discontentment &/or temptation?
Even in the Innocence… We Can Sow Feelings of Discontentment or Temptation
For example, I have found that certain tv shows, while mostly clean & widely acceptable in church family homes, may hint at sexual tension & therefore create a temptation in my struggle against lust/fantasizing. The show may not display sexual activity, but it sows & stirs temptation I wouldn’t otherwise have to combat.
Another big one for me was actually the lovey dovey tv shows/movies (I think we can all think of a certain channel known for these, especially during Christmastime) that, while pretty PG, sowed & stirred in me great discontentment during my years of singleness that seemed to never end (I got married at age 28, while most all my friends & even my younger sister were married way before me).
Those movies & tv shows aren’t raunchy or bad, but even in the innocence, they made me wrestle with that longing to be loved, making me feel impatient & frustrated at my ringless finger rather than keeping my eyes on finding HOPE in God’s love.
I Set My Eyes on Things That Won’t Actually Satisfy
I all too easily cling to things as my idol. It may not be a little carved image that I physically bow down to or chant my allegiance to, but they are definitely things I put before God.
Instant gratification culture, brought on by online shopping, fast food, & quick internet search results have led me to covet ease & comfort… So much so, that when I struggle with depression, my idol becomes the end of my struggle, rather than trusting God to be sufficient in the struggle.
The same thing can happen when we make decisions that sow or stir discontentment or temptations. We start focusing more on what we feel we “ought to be able to enjoy” rather than letting discernment tell us to trust God & that while it may be socially accepted in Christian circles & may in & of itself not be sinful at all, it may not be worth the discontentment &/or temptations it breeds.
Now Hold on a Minute…
Making these decisions to deny ourselves something that doesn’t even seem sinful is not easy & oftentimes seems quite the opposite of logical or reasonable. It seems unnecessary at best & legalistic at worst.
Your flesh may rear up in defiance. You may feel defensive because it’s not even something sinful or bad. You may feel like clinging to that thing you enjoy because it’s “not even bad.”
But is it worth the extra fighting? The added struggle? The sadness or worry or wrong desire you now become burdened with? Is it worth all that?
Learning Discernment: Do Your Decisions Sow or Stir Discontentment &/or Temptation?
I have felt all those things. I don’t automatically say, “Yes, LORD, I see it now! Those things pull me down & make my life more complicated than it already is… more difficult than it needs to be! And although they’re not technically bad choices, they affect me negatively, so they’re not worth it! I will stop right now!” No, sadly, that’s not usually my quick response.
I “like” to learn by making the same poor decision again & again & again because I don’t want to miss out on or give up something I enjoy that’s not even BAD!
It doesn’t feel fair. It feels like missing out. I don’t like missing out.
I NEED to Lean into Him… But I Often Justify Myself into Discontentment &/or Temptation Again & Again
But sometimes I feel a gentle, soft whisper over my heart… a gentle awareness really, the Holy Spirit nudging my heart, saying, “do you remember, Michelle, how much it hurt dealing with the aftermath of this decision last time? Don’t do this to yourself again… trust Me to be enough in its place so you don’t have to go through that again.”
But I don’t listen. I keep justifying, based on how innocent it seems in & of itself, or how accepted & embraced it is by Christians I respect. I don’t like missing out.
And God keeps whispering, nudging, beckoning my heart to trust Him.
When I choose to listen, I find freedom.
A Prayer I Often Don’t Want to Pray
It starts with a reluctant prayer for help: “God, I hear You. I can feel the conviction tugging at my heart to leave this behind. But it’s not even “bad” & I don’t want to miss out. But I do want to trust You better than just getting this… but I need Your help trusting You more than my desire for this. Help me trust that You are nudging me because You see & You don’t want me to keep putting myself in situations where I am discontented or tempted. Life can already be hard enough… I don’t need to enjoy things that just make it harder. I get that. Help me let go. Help me trust You instead. Please help me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Let Yourself Fail… & Keep Trying to Trust God More… With His Help
It starts small. I may fail. But I can expect to not be good at something when I am not used to practicing it. So, I must determine to keep trying, allowing myself grace to fail, & to keep trying again, with God’s help & grace along the way.
Lovely, God may be asking you, nudging your heart, to give up something you feel justified in enjoying. You may feel threatened, feeling that He’s saying you’re not being a good enough Christian & that maybe He’s guilting you or testing you.
But hear me on this… God is always gentle & loving & kind… & He also knows ALL things. He doesn’t want you enjoying something that is actually HURTING you, EVEN IF that something seems completely justifiably embraced by other Christians. EVEN IF that something is not sinful in & of itself.
Because He loves you & will always fight for what is best for you–even if the thought of the change makes you uncomfortable. He will never give up that fight because you mean that much to Him.
Let the Conviction Bring a Smile Rather Than Fear
So, if that conviction keeps tugging at your heart, let it bring a smile to your face, reminding you that God is fighting for you right then & there, to give you His absolute best in this life.
For example, I don’t use umbrellas like EVER… I am a run & deal with the wet type of person. But some mornings I feel a little nudge that I need to get my umbrella. I dismiss it with a scoff, “ha, I never use it anyway, so no thanks.” Then it ends up downpouring at a time I am stuck outside, wishing I had that umbrella. God doesn’t just say, “hey, an umbrella would typically be favored for the typical person on a day it will rain, like today,” but rather, “I know YOU will want one today, & because I know that, I am giving you a heads up.” What a good & loving God!
Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. And ask God to help you trust Him more than you cling to that thing you are clinging to that sows or stirs feelings of discontentment &/or temptation… because “ain’t nobody got time for that.”
Shine HOPE by being willing to give up those “okay” things that sow or stir discontentment &/or temptation within you so that you can trust God’s call with it in its place.
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