Living Love-Even When It’s Hard-Part 2
A Quick Glance Back
A couple weeks ago, I began discussing the topic of “Living Love”. The first topic I discussed was about living graciously, with intentional kindness. (Read that post, here.)
Last week, I introduced the topic of loving people, even when it’s hard. I honed in on five different reasons that make it hard for us to love others. Those five reasons include:
- Loving Our Enemies
- Loving People Who Are Difficult to Love
- Loving People Different Than Us
- Loving Through Trauma & Pain (today’s post)
- Loving When We Don’t Feel Like It (also today’s post)
(To catch up, check out Part 1 + Introduction to this topic, here.)
Today, I would like to finish off the topic we started last week of living love, even when it’s hard, by talking about those last two areas of difficulty in loving others—Loving Through Trauma and Pain & Loving When We Don’t Feel Like It.
Sometimes We Don’t Get It, & That’s OK
To begin talking about loving others through trauma & pain, I need to address this very important point—sometimes we don’t get it, & that’s ok.
Have you ever had a friend or loved one pour their sorrows on you, only to leave you feeling completely helpless & uncomfortable—squirmy even—eager to change the subject?
I know it has happened to me, & I know I can’t be alone in this.
We are called, by God, to share each other’s burdens. We are called to lift one another up & encourage one another, pointing each other back to the hope & promises of God.
So, then why can it be so uncomfortable?
Partly because we are caught off guard, but I think partly because we feel a pressure & a guilt to make all their troubles go away. And if we don’t know how to do that, we freeze & are left feeling uncomfortable.
Another reason is maybe we are personally strained or stressed, & taking on the strain or stress of your friend seems too much to bare.
Bringing Back Perspective
But let me bring everything back into perspective…
We ARE weak. We ARE insufficient. We ARE incapable of juggling or solving it all…
BUT…
Guess who isn’t any of those things? GOD.
God is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-wise, & all-capable!
HE IS ENOUGH.
So, when you feel the weight of the world crushing you to the floor, in the midst of the struggle, stop trying to carry it yourself!
And when a friend comes to you with burdens, take them to Him—right then & there.
If they were desperate enough to wear their heart on their sleeve, pour their heart out to you, & risk rejection through vulnerability—then it is important enough to step aside or stop right where you are & respond with this:
“Hey, I am so sorry you are facing this right now. Can I give you a hug? Can we stop right now & pray together? I may not know how to help, but God is big enough & He can bring wisdom or healing or grace to this situation, so let’s go to Him right now & ask Him for it.”
You don’t need to know all the answers—because He does. You don’t need to know how to fix everything—but God gives peace & wisdom & strength to those who ask Him.
So, ask!
Loving Through Trauma & Pain
So, keeping that in mind, we come to the topic of loving others who are hurting immensely, maybe more than we have ever or will ever experience in our lifetime.
It can be easy to be intimidated by the great pain that others face, especially when we can’t understand their situation & we feel like fools with nothing useful to say… And that’s okay.
Like I mentioned above, we really can’t fully relate to or understand others, & we don’t have to. God can give us the words. God can give us the strength. God can give us the wisdom.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of sitting silently with your friend or being a listening ear. Sometimes you just hold their hand & sit by them. Sometimes you just PRAY.
But keep showing up (or sometimes giving them space), keep loving them, & keep praying!
It’s Hard to See Them Hurt
Whether the pain or trauma is a chronic illness, life-threatening health condition, depression, anxiety, or a traumatic life event (or other difficult situation), take the time to listen to your friend. Let them know that you are not going anywhere & that it’s ok to not be ok—that they don’t have to pretend with you.
Pray with them & love them as they are.
Society puts a lot of pressure on seeming happy & confident & self-reliant, so when we aren’t those things, we feel broken & in the way.
Let your friends know they don’t have to fake it because you love them even in the storms of life—even when their life’s a mess & even when they feel broken & scarred.
God is Able!
Let God fill in the gaps where you are inadequate. Let God direct your words & let God encourage your friend through your words & presence.
Let God use you to be a light to them in their dark moments.
Because whether we like to admit it or think about it, we all have dark moments arise in life. There is sin in this world & that sin results in a broken world. Pain is inevitable at times.
So, trust God through the storms & keep on loving when it’s difficult.
Loving Others When You Don’t Feel Like It
There are two areas I want to touch on with this specific area. Sometimes we don’t feel like loving someone because of our own stress, strain, or pain, & sometimes it’s our own attitudes that keep us back from loving others the way we are called to love them.
Loving Through the Storms
Here’s a little mental picture of how life felt for me a couple times this past week….
Imagine trying to walk on stormy seas. The waves are crashing around you, loud & thunderous. The skies are dark & menacing, seeming to close in around you. The ocean water is seeming to grab at your heels, & you are so tired from the fight that you almost want to let it pull you under. Drowning seems imminent because you feel the fight being drained from your body.
But up ahead, you see the hand of Jesus, stretched out to meet you. You hear His tender voice saying, “I am here. I am with you. I am enough. I will keep you above the waves. Don’t focus on the threats surrounding you—only keep your eyes on me & you will be okay. Troubles will come in this world, but lo, take heart, for I have overcome the world.”
But it sucks.
The pain & strife & struggle & fight… they all suck… big time.
And sometimes you don’t want to fight. You forget that God is a prayer away & that He has strength for you if you but ask. But sometimes you just want the struggle taken away & it just isn’t.
But God is enough.
Don’t let insecurities, stress, struggles, fears, challenges, exhaustion, etc. keep your eyes off Jesus—because He is enough.
Let Him be your strength & keep honoring Him with your life, even when you feel you can’t. Because Satan will do all he can to stifle our opportunities to glorify God in this life, but GOD IS BIGGER.
So, keep your eyes on Him & keep shining His light through the storm.
Loving Through Anger & Strife
Sometimes our own pride gets damaged when someone says an unkind word or is short with us. The bad attitudes of others tend to rub off on us, don’t they?
And sometimes their bad attitude is directed toward us, & all of a sudden, we are left angry, hurt, & upset.
But other times, it’s simply a misunderstanding that can flip a happy situation into a confusing, upsetting spiral of emotions.
In those moments, we feel justified with our, “You apologize first!” mentality. But when both parties feel this way, things get stuck.
This is especially prone to happen when it’s with someone who is typically encouraging you toward Christ, because guess what? Satan hates it & wants to split up your friendship at all costs.
But, GOD IS BIGGER.
Keep those thoughts in mind next time, & love & trust God enough to ask Him to help you love past your hurt, misunderstandings, & anger.
He is big enough!
Ask that friend to pray out loud with you, even if you can’t look at each other while you do it.
You will be surprised of the healing, grace, reconciliation, & growth that God can bring through that painful situation when we entrust it to His wisdom & love.
A Call to Love
So, there you have it. Love when it’s hard. Pray when it’s hard to love. Let God fill in the gaps.
And when the storms of life rage on, keep your eyes pinned to Jesus & let Him guide you through the storm.
Because GOD. IS. ENOUGH.
Shine Hope… Live LOVE—even when it’s hard.
Coming Next Week
Next week, I have a special, unplanned treat for you. I want to talk about the secret to life. I want to share with you the not-so-secret key that fits all of life together.
… So, make sure to check in next week to see what’s in store!
A Note from Michelle:
If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3
Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!
Weekly Special Spotlight:
Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!
Empress Necklace
Representing Women Artisans in India & Thailand!
This bib necklace is hand embroidered with an adjustable cotton cord.
Artisan Information:
Even though it is curable, patients with leprosy are often rejected by their families and villages. Due to the visible signs that label them as “lepers”, they usually end up as beggars on the street, often with their children at their sides. This group has changed this lonely lifestyle for these women. They have found a place of life, love, and dignity where they can take pride and gain confidence in their beautiful work.
Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!
(*Also Pictured: Stella Earrings from India & Royalty Wrap from Thailand.*)
Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!
