My Selfish Greed, Disguised

Let’s Follow Up

So, how are you doing with being still with God?

I know we talked about this in last week’s blog post, but it’s something I feel so terrible at that maybe if I keep talking about it & keep reminding myself I need it… maybe, just maybe, I will stop being so stubborn & just bow my heart to His goodness. And stick with me, because there’s a little more to it.

Why Would I Resist It?

When I stop & think about it, it really does seem pretty silly (coughfoolishcough) of me to even struggle in this area.

But let me be clear, this is not just a struggle to shut down the quiet, it is an addiction to wash out the quietIt is me not being willing to slump before God & ask for His help because it feels so much easier & immediately gratifying to numb over it.

It’s sin.

I hate to call you out on that if you struggle with it, too, but that’s just the plain truth of it. I don’t like to or want to admit it, but in reality, it is me refusing to give up that ease & comfort of instant gratification for the better that God has in store for me if I surrender to that stillness with God.

What Stillness with God Can Do

God meant & designed stillness with Him to be for our good. It will refresh. It will renew. It will bring healing. It will help us feel closeness with God. It will help us recognize His deep & unconditional love for us. It will boost our confidence (in HIM). It WILL.

But instant gratification is what I have grown up expecting & turning to. Bored? TV. Restless? Phone. Quiet house? Video games. I want to feel good NOW.

And NOT covering up that restlessness & NOT filling every void immediately, is NOT instantly gratifying. In fact, it feels like extra WORK.

I Want to Indulge! I Don’t Want to Listen to God!

And this isn’t the only area of my life where I do this… FOOD is another area I struggle with because I don’t WANT to stop & give up my cravings by asking God to help me with them. I WANT to INDULGE!

And when I was journaling the hindrances to me taking better care of the body God has given me, after writing out a whole list, I came to the realization that the overlying reason I am not improving like I could is because I DON’T WANT TO GIVE UP MY INSTANT GRATIFICATION OF CRAVINGS!

In other words, I KNOW God CAN & WOULD help me… BUT when I am given the opportunity to ask for His help in either being still or making food choices that will more greatly benefit me in the long run… I CHOOSE to ignore His gentle nudges & I FILL my “need” for INSTANT gratification.

It’s sin.

I am CHOOSING to ignore Him because I want what I want instead.

My Selfish Greed, Disguised

This was quite the blow to my lingering, ignored, & relentlessly justified self-righteous view of myself in that, “Oh, but I DO want to change! I DO!” While, when given every opportunity to change WITH GOD’S HELP, I might add… I brush away that little loving nudge (God’s offer to help) & I do whatever I want anyway.

Ouch.

Big ouch.

And now I must face this fact about myself… this selfish, self-centered, stubborn fact about myself… this SIN.

My selfish greed, disguised as good intentions that I never actually act on when given the opportunity & help from God.

Confession to God & Asking for HELP Overcoming My Selfish Heart

God, You knew this all along about me. I kept “crying out to You to help me” learn to be still… to help me learn how to just be still & KNOW You are God & spend time with You… to help me make better health choices… all the while, whenever You offered Your capable & loving help, I shrugged You off & did what I really wanted instead. God, as Paul said in his letter in Romans 7:15, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” It’s frustrating how simply & easily I am tricked into dismissing You for what hurts me instead. How easily fooled I am by my own selfishness & greed. Please forgive me. Help me give this up, even if You have to pry it from my fingers. HELP ME! I am so selfish that, in the moment, when caught off guard, I know I will immediately grab for quick, easy, immediate gratification. I don’t want to live like that forever. Help me! Break me so You can build me up the way I was designed by You to be, without my sin destroying it. Help me overcome this hurdle of selfish greed. Help me humble myself at Your feet & be willing to loosen my grip so I can give it to You & depend on You instead. You are so much better & so much more satisfying than immediate gratification. Your way is meant for my good. Help me, please. AMEN.”

Reflection:

If you’re honest with yourself, do you have an area in your life where you do this, too?

Do yourself a HUMUNGOUS favor & be willing to pray that prayer from Psalm 139, ”Lord, search me & know me… See if there be any wicked way in me.” Not because HE doesn’t already know those areas (because, trust me, He does), but because sometimes WE are completely blind to our own faults & the strongholds that keep us imprisoned.

Shine Hope by shining light on those areas you maybe refuse to give up to God, by asking for His help in doing so… & then in asking for His help with VICTORY over them, like only He can do. <3

Coming Next Week

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As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

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Fashion as a Force for GOOD:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Inverted Capiz Earrings

Trades of Hope, Inverted Capiz Earrings, hand-crafted in the Philippines, Blog Title: My Selfish Greed, Disguised
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Artisan Information:

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Let\'s Encourage Each Other!

Written by Michelle Hyde
Hello Lovely Ladies! I look forward to encouraging you today. I help weary women find hope & SHINE like they were always meant to! Let's do this journey together! If you want to learn how you can spread HOPE around the globe, Click Here to Learn More!