An Aching Heart

Have you ever felt stuck in a hurt? Drowning, aching, numb, overwhelmed, or defeated?

Maybe it’s a harsh word from someone you love (or many).

Maybe it’s the raw ache of loneliness, like you have to face the world alone.

Maybe you lost someone who meant the world to you.

Maybe you feel unlovable & that your loneliness means you’re not enough.

Maybe you or someone you love is faced with a (potentially even) deadly disease or injury.

Maybe depression is making you feel like the world would be better off without you.

Maybe you have been abused or hurt deeply by someone you trusted.

Maybe you are drowning in a debt that haunts your ever step & only seems to get worse as time goes on.

Maybe shame & guilt haunts you & makes you feel like you’re not worth anyone’s grace or forgiveness.

Maybe you blame yourself for the heartache in your life. Maybe you blame the world. Maybe you blame God.

It is no surprise to me if you have any of those wars raging in your heart right now because I have personally struggled through each one at different times in my life & probably so many more.

The Hurts We All Face

I know that if you are a living, breathing human being, you have felt hurts & heartaches & pains, even if you try to deny them & shove them deep down inside your heart.

I wish that I could take them all away & set you free from them, but I know I don’t have such power or wisdom.

But I can pray with you. I can lift up your hurts with you to the One who CAN do something about them.

And I can encourage you to lean into Him every step of the way—Allow yourself to come to the end of you & to reach out to HIM in your times of greatest weakness & hurt. He is the true answer of HOPE in the worst of our circumstances.

The Doubts That Surface

In the midst of those greatest hurts & longings, we can have some painful doubts pop up about God & today I want to share the doubts I experienced through those hurts & the HOPE that brought me through them… the REAL hope… Not just a hoped-FOR hope, but a steady, sure, secure, lasting, reliable HOPE.

As always, my ultimate goal in writing this is to encourage you to reach out to HIM. I am limited & my answers only scratch the surface of who God is, what He is capable of, & how much He loves you, so turn to Him in every step & every tear. <3

“The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod & Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness & mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.” (Psalm 23, emphasis mine)

“God, where are You when I’m hurting?”

Have you ever felt like God is just ignoring you or maybe doesn’t even notice you at all in your pain? It’s an easy doubt to feel, especially when you know (or want to know) God to be kind & good… the hurts don’t jive with those ideas of God.

But, we need to remember something very important here:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, emphasis mine)

He Is with Us in the Hurts

God doesn’t promise that we will live a struggle-free life. In fact, He tells us just the opposite. We live in a sin-torn world & until heaven, we WILL struggle.

BUT, God does promise to be our ENOUGH in the struggle.

So, cry out to Him, slump into Him, & pour out your heart to Him (even if all you can manage is a slew of mumbled sobs directed toward God with an ache so you deep you don’t know how to verbalize it—He knows & He hears & He understands), asking for Him to be your strength & comfort & love & courage & HOPE when you feel you have none left to spare.

Where is He? He is right there with you in it & through it, so call out to Him & lean your full weight into Him through every ache & tear.

“God, if You ARE Good & All-Powerful, how could you let this happen to me?”

This one is a more fleshed-out form of the last doubt we just covered, getting to the heart of why that doubt hurts us so much. It really reveals our uncertainty of whether we feel we can trust God’s power or goodness or both when our world feels so incredibly consumed by hurts.

But, as I mentioned above, God doesn’t promise a lack of struggle—but He sees you & He loves you & He does promise to be our enough as we walk through the hurts, so lean into Him!

We also have an eternal HOPE to look forward to if we have put our trusting Hope in Jesus Christ to pay the price for our wrongs.

We may face trials “of many kinds” here on earth, but Heaven is a sure hope we can close our eyes, take a deep breath, exhale, & feel the comfort of knowing that this is just our temporary home & the trials aren’t for forever. But, in the now, God promises to be our help when we need Him.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers & sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4, emphasis mine)

“God, are You punishing me?”

Oh, dear one, how I have felt this one.

Most of us are not ignorant of our own mistakes, past or present. Deep down, we know we don’t deserve God’s grace… & sometimes we don’t cry out to God for help simply because we don’t feel we deserve it.

But while God does allow struggles to shape us & strengthen us, as we are told in 1 Peter 5:10, God does not seek to hold us in a place of shame because He offers us ready forgiveness with His FREE gift of grace through Jesus Christ.

”But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, & settle you. To Him be the glory & the dominion forever & ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:10-11)

So, when you feel that shame keeping you stuck in the muck of your sorrows, don’t let Satan keep whispering those chains of lies to your heart. Call out to God for forgiveness if there IS something you know you have done, & receive the forgiveness & grace that God is always so quick to give.

Read Luke 15:11-32 if you don’t believe me. <3 (Hint: God represents the father, & getting the inheritance NOW is us wanting to live OUR way NOW.)

“God, am I just not good enough? Do I deserve this?”

Sometimes we wonder why we feel so unloved when treading through the darkest times in our life, but rest assured that God does not make mistakes & that He makes EVERY person with a God-designed purpose AND HE loves every one of us more than we can ever comprehend.

Don’t let Satan blast you with everything you feel you are missing or lacking or losing, but instead, ask God to show you how He made you& to help you see both God’s design for your life AND how much you truly are LOVED by Him.

He is always willing to show us His care for us that somehow ends up seeming (& being!) so much richer than any of the ways we were seeking & missing it here on earth. He is the best expression of LOVE, true love, that you will ever experience if you learn to rest that fear in His loving arms & ask for His help.

The Key Element

I know there are probably many more doubts that can pop up in times of distress & aches of the heart, but the key element in all of these doubts is to TURN to HIM in them all. He can help you much better than I ever can.

So, let my experiences act merely as an encouragement that God really CAN help you, even when you see no possible way. And lean into Him every step.

Don’t let Satan paralyze you in these hurts & questions. Turn to God & seek TRUTH & find His hope to carry you through each moment. God, through Jesus Christ, is where our true hope comes from—so shine hope by shining His love & grace to a hurting world. He’s got you, babe.

Even in your darkest moments, God has you & loves you & will show you just how much when you take those fears & hurts to Him & lean your full weight of pain into Him for your true source of HELP.

He is where our help comes from. Not in us fixing it, but in us leaning into HIM.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven & earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2, emphasis mine)

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Diversity of Doubts

Doubts are a funny thing. They can permeate almost every aspect of our lives, whether we recognize them or not.

Sometimes they are so subtle that we don’t realize we have them, but they influence how we live our daily lives.

Sometimes they are so obtrusive that we can’t seem to see anything BUT those doubts, haunting us like a storm that follows our every move.

No matter what doubt it is, it is, I would argue, always rooted in a misunderstanding about who God is.

The Most Harmful Misunderstanding

If you think about it, so much of what we struggle with in our lives is centered around a misunderstanding about who God is, whether it be an anxiety or a trauma or anything in between.

Either we are not positive God can fix it (or at least not the way we would prefer it to be fixed) or we wonder if God cares enough to fix it even if we believe He CAN.

This misunderstanding can manifest on our auto-pilot life, doing the best we can the way we understand it should be (also see, “doing what is right in our own eyes.”) … or in us feeling paralyzed because we feel like what we want to believe about God may not be the way we always envisioned it to be.

Doubts in the Christian Life

So, today, I want to tackle a few specific doubts I had once I made the decision to trust God after my ocean of doubts-some of which I covered in Part 1.

A couple weeks ago started us off with “I’m Not Very Good at Reading the Bible,” so let’s go into a few more.

6. Doing What Seems Right in Our Own Eyes

The biggest one that is so easily missed, because of its subtlety, is “doing what is right in [our] own eyes.” (You can do a quick internet search to find some passages about this in the Bible.)

A lot of us are taught, even if just by example, the daily routines, habits, & flow of life as we see best. We don’t see it as doubting God, but we also don’t really stop to consider that He would have a different plan in mind than what we always grew up believing it should look like.

This is a doubt about God that can exist, in one form or another, throughout our entire lives, because it is so subtle that it doesn’t seem like a doubt in God at all, but just merely “the way life is.”

It Permeates So Many Areas of Life

I have talked about this topic many times throughout my blogging journey because I find it permeating my own ideals & habits all the time. I am not trying to do things “my way,” because to me it just feels it’s the only way I know.

We need to take a perspective shift with this one to realize that God’s plans are higher than our plans & extend through the span of eternity & not just the up-to-100+ years we are looking at.

The only way to accomplish a different mindset than “doing what is right in our own eyes,” since that is our automatic route, is to consider & turn to God in all things—spend time reading the Bible consistently, talk to Him regularly, & constantly ask God to show you where you might need to hand more over to Him or adjust for His plan versus your own.

Blessed Are the Meek!

It goes back to our Matthew 5 journey recently in meekness, taking our “strength” & “power” & offering our perceived control over to His perfect strength, wisdom, power, & plan.

Only in making those things of Bible reading, talking to God regularly, & turning more of your life over to Him a regular habit will we begin to see the areas where we are living according to what is “right in our own eyes” & begin to hand those over for God’s better way & better plan.

7. Is God a False-Hope?

The second Christian-life doubt I wrestled with for a long time was that Satan tried to lie & convince me that life was no better in trusting God over myself & that trusting God was a false-hope.

Let me reiterate that as a LIE from Satan & is not based in reality AT ALL.

You see, when I was relying on myself versus God, drowning in my doubts of God & trying to go it alone, I felt lost & alone & hopeless & scared—ALL THE TIME, with BRIEF pockets of relief.

BUT, when I finally turned those reins over to God, asking HIM to be in control, I felt steady & sure & stable, because I was trusting a sure thing, versus my flimsy self.

Hard Times Still Come, But It Is God Who Carries Us Through

Did hard times still come? Heck yes! And they still do! But now, even in my aching heart, even when things aren’t “magically fixed” like I wish them to be, I STILL HAVE a sure hope to count in, that God has a plan & WILL carry me through as I lean into Him.

What was once ALWAYS dark & scary & unsure, with brief moments of relief, became temporary pockets of dark, scary, unsure moments UNTIL I slump at His “feet” & ask Him to carry me through & be my strength in the hurts.

He is my hope, even when the world feels hopeless.

We will feel faithless at our worst, & Satan will try to riddle us with guilt & shame for it, but God is there to remind us that His faithfulness is not dependent on ours… & that all we need to do is cry out to Him & He will be there, ALWAYS, to carry us through our worst days.

8. Are We Supposed to Prove Our Faith by Living It Well on Our Own?

The last Christian Life doubt I want to talk about today ties in with the first one we covered earlier in this post, “doing what seems right in our own eyes.”

Not only in how we live should we be turning over the reins to God, like we talked about, but also in HOW WE SERVE GOD.

This means reading our Bible, talking to God about everything, & living for Him by serving & loving others.

But it also means trusting GOD to HELP us read our Bibles, talk to Him about everything, & live for Him in serving & loving others.

We don’t have to do those things in our own strength or willpower.

When We Know We Should But Don’t Want to or Feel We Can’t… God Can Help

We can submit our lack of willingness, pride, bad attitude, stubbornness, laziness, boredom, distractions, busyness, ailments, & EVERYTHING ELSE that keeps us from submitting to a healthy growth toward God, TO God.

We can open up & be real with Him about it, even if it’s our own lack of desire to do it or bad attitude or pride—He ALREADY KNOWS. So, open up to Him about it, get real with Him, confess it to Him, & ASK FOR HIS HELP WITH IT.

Sometimes Faithfulness Is Trusting in & Asking for His Help… Even in the Misplaced Desires or Lack There Of

I cannot tell you how many times I have to ask for His help with all the reasons I mentioned above. ALL. OF. THEM. Regularly.

I may know it’s good for me… Consistency in the last few years may have been blessing my life beyond what I imagined it could, BUT I STILL STRUGGLE & have to ask for His help sometimes.

Especially with prayer lately. I can inner dialog all day long to work out a solution without once considering, “Oh yeah, God…. Um, can You help me?” It’s embarrassing, but true!

So, Please, Please, PLEASE stop trying to live for Him on your own willpower steam & start submitting all of your obstacles to HIM for help, even if those obstacles are YOU & your unwillingness or lack of desire to follow through with it.

Quick Recap of Covered Doubts

Let’s recap the doubts we have covered so far, in the past 3 posts about doubts:

1. Jesus is THE way & there is NO OTHER way… & that is a good thing because He is saying we can’t save ourselves, but He has saved US, if we just accept His gracious gift of forgiveness.
2. God IS real—we can see Him in the specific order AND vast variety of creation… & in how He interacts with us PERSONALLY the more we submit to know Him more.
3. You’re NEVER “unsavable” because again, it’s not based on what you can do, but on what Jesus has done FOR YOU.
4. We pray because He CAN hear us & we know He can hear us because He interacts with us on a personal level as we grow to know Him more & is big enough to answer our God-honoring desires & still work His plan.
5. Reading your Bible consistently IS nourishment to you, it will change how you see & trust God, AND it is possible by asking for God’s help with it.
6. Doing it HIS way is always best, & even in the small, subtle ways, we should be asking for God’s guidance & wisdom to guide our steps along the way.
7. Pain & struggle does not mean God is not our perfect anchor, nor does it mean we lack “enough” faith, but is a call to fall in His arms recognizing His power & strength in light of our weakness & frailty.
8. Abiding in God & living for God is not meant to be done by sheer willpower, but by asking for God’s help & wisdom & strength & a change in our hearts every step of the way. Not perfection, but growth.

Next week, I plan to talk about fears & pain & struggle in light of our doubts about God, so make sure to come back for that.

Shine HOPE by looking to Him in all things great & small.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Not Everyone Feels Jolly & That Is Okay

As Christmas fast approaches, I am reminded of those who are dreading this time of year… Not because they hate Christmas, but because they hate doing Christmas without a person whom they have lost or because they have to do Christmas alone or away from family this year.

The holidays put so much pressure on us to be with family & loved ones… & when that cannot happen for one reason or another, it can be so painful to bear.

God sees you, too. Even in the heartache that seems too thick to swallow, He sees you.

Your Heartache Matters to God

I want to take this week to speak to those of you who are feeling that dense, hard-to-swallow pain this time of year, because I know that your heartache matters to God.

It’s important to point out that God does not expect us to never be sad or hurt. We don’t have to stuff down our pain & pretend it doesn’t exist. God doesn’t shame us in our heartbreak.

If anyone doubts this, they only have to read Ecclesiastes to see despair spilled over its pages.

Finding Hope in the Darkness

Life can be hard, there is no denying that.

But in finishing up the book of Ecclesiastes, in all of the author’s woes of despair & meaninglessness, he ends the book by prompting us to follow & obey God—the way of life that brings meaning to the hurt.

Life may not always be pretty or comfortable or easy or full of laughter, but we can be guaranteed that God is with us through it all. He is our enough in the midst of the heartache.

Cling. Cry Out. He Is Listening.

Cling to Him. Cry out to Him. Pour out your heart to His listening ears. God can handle your pain.

Ask for Him to be your comfort & strength & hope in the midst of your deep pain.

Because while we are not promised a life of comfort & ease, we are promised that He is enough to carry us through the fires & storms & aches of life.

Your source of hope in the midst of the tears will always be Him.

Let Him…

He cares for you. He sees you. He is able. He is enough.

Let Him fill where you feel void & empty.

Let His love be a balm on your weary heart.

Let His strength help you rise above the brambles.

Let His power carry your broken heart.

Let His comfort ease your burdens.

His Words, Not Mine

(Emphasis in the following verses is mine.)

“But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

“He heals the brokenhearted & binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

“He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:2)

“Come to Me, all who labor & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

“God is our refuge & strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” (Romans 15:13)

“Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23)

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3)

“Come to me, all who labor & are heavy laden, & I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, & learn from Me, for I am gentle & lowly in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, & My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

“I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice & my pleas for mercy. Because He inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live.” (Psalm 116:1-2)

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin & death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh & for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:1-6)

Shine Hope by Leaning into Him

It doesn’t have to look pretty. You don’t have to get yourself together first. Come to Him in the mess. Pour out your sorrows to Him because He cares for you. He is listening & He sees you.

You are not alone, for He is with you always, even to the end of the age.

Come to Jesus & find Life, even in the midst of your great sorrows.

He sees you & He loves you more than words could ever express. <3

Merry Christmas.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!