Pivot Moments

These last couple weeks, I have begun taking you on a journey of major “Pivot” moments in my life.

In these moments of life change, God has shown Himself true & reliable & capable. He has been the love & grace & patience & power that has gotten me through & He is patiently guiding me to be the woman He made me to be.

Doubts to Darkness

This week, we are following through with the results of last week’s Pivot moment & the answers that finally squashed all of the doubts rattling my heart.

((To catch up from last week & read the story of my seemingly endless doubts, check out that post, here.))

So, after a year or two of doubting everything I once believed in about the simplicity of grace… depression hit me hard.

We’re about to dive headfirst into my darkest days, so hold on!

Shutting God Out & Choosing Me

You see, I had just spent about two years slowly training myself to shut out God’s voice of wisdom & warning from guiding me. I wanted to do it my way.

And now, I was in a raging, stormy sea without a life preserver, just struggling to survive on my own.

Depression became two long years of pain like I had never known before.

How It Began

I was a freshman, & then sophomore, in high school at this point, & my life was a mess of uncertainty & shame & fear & anger & hatred & loneliness & everything bad.

The cynical voice in my head had turned menacing & hurtful… telling me LIES that I believed, “Nobody likes you, you know. You’re not good enough for anybody. You’re an idiot. You’re fat & ugly. No one wants you. Their lives are harder because you’re alive. You complicate everything. Their lives are more peaceful & happier when you’re not here. Why are you here? No one wants you. You’re annoying. You’re too loud. You talk too much. Look at the mistakes you’ve made… you can’t undo them. You are a broken person who can’t be put together again. It would be better if you didn’t exist. You just make life harder for everyone. You would be doing everyone a service to not be here anymore. You can’t ever get anything right. Your family doesn’t want you. Your friends think you’re a joke. God doesn’t care about you either, if He even exists. You’re all alone. Why are you still here?”

Those lies were my every moment. I couldn’t shut them up or drown them out.

Trying to “Fake It Til I Make It”

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shut off those voices in my head telling me life would be better without me in it.

I got so tired of asking for advice from others… because it never helped.

I started plastering on a smile that never quite reached my eyes & pretending that I was fine & I could handle it.

But I couldn’t.

Fading Away in the Silence

I was chipping away… My resolve weakening every time I cried.

I would be sitting in class, listening to that endless reel of hateful dialogue in my head & my eyes would burn with hidden tears.

I would write my hurt & fears in journals, needing to tell SOMEONE, only to end up sobbing at the fact that that “someone” was paper because I didn’t feel like I had anyone who understood the hell inside my head.

Sometimes I thought about suicide.

No One Understood, Not Even Me

I would try to tell someone, only to be mocked or teased or brushed off.

I would plaster a smile on my face that never quite reached my eyes.

I felt numb & hated & unloved. I felt angry & hurt & alone. I felt LOST in my sea of doubts, unable to find steady ground to hold on to.

My Secret Tears

I would come home from school so many days, grab my kitty “Valentine”, & slowly, quietly close & lock my bedroom door trying not to draw attention to myself, duck into my closet, underneath my row of clothes hanging above me, close the closet doors to block out the sunlight (& the sound of my sobs), & then wail into a pillow I had brought in with me, hugging my cat tightly under the other arm.

I spent several days a week like this for two years & I don’t know if anyone ever even knew.

My Life Began to Fall Apart

I hated my life & everything in it because I felt so alone & so unloved & so worthless.

The menacing whisper never let up either. It followed me everywhere I went, never letting my heart rest.

I felt constantly beat up by a relentless wave of self-hatred.

My grades began plummeting. Relationships became strained.

I was losing faith in myself & others seemed to follow suit.

Pray, Girl, Pray! … But I Did!

At this point, you might be thinking, “Michelle! Your advice is always ‘pray first!’ so why didn’t you do that???”

I prayed so much it hurt.

I felt that God had abandoned me… that my choices to slowly, gradually do things my own way had offended Him beyond repair.

I was a Christian who “knew” better & yet had still turned her back on God.

Why would He want me? … If He even existed (I wasn’t sure of anything anymore).

But I kept praying.

Is He Listening? Does He Care?

I wondered how God could love me & let me suffer.

I wondered if He had just created us & left us down here to suffer while He laughed & pointed out our failures.

I wondered if He was even real.

But I kept praying because I knew that if He was real, He’d be my only hope.

I Prayed… & I Hurt

If He was real, the way He describes Himself throughout the Bible, then He alone was powerful enough to clear my doubts & prove Himself as the one true God.

If He was real, He had the power to fix everything.

And yet, I kept hurting.

I kept hurting worse, with every day, or so it seemed to my breaking heart.

I felt alone.

Rays of Hope Broke Through

And there would come times where I thought I saw Him through the dark clouds that overtook me.

A ray of sunshine (of hope) would break through my heart.

I would think, “Hey, that seems to be God helping me… right when I asked Him for help, _______________ happened! Maybe God DOES care about us… about me!!!”

But the Doubts Always Seemed to Win

But then, another wave of darkness… I would brush off that ray of hope like a glitch… or maybe I had just felt stronger that day & had just thought it was God or maybe it’s because someone helped me other than God… or basically maybe it was anything but God.

So, I would keep praying. But I would keep trying to find hope my own way.

And things like that ray of hope would keep happening when I chose to pray.

And still I found a way to credit something else as the source… Something other than God.

I kept praying.

The Lost Man At Sea

Have you ever heard the story/joke about the man drowning, begging God to save Him?

Well, first someone throws him a life preserver, but he says, “No thank you! I am waiting for God to save me!”

Then a boat comes along & offers to rescue him as he screams to God for help… “No thank you!” he responds, “I am waiting for God to save me!”

Then a rescue helicopter comes & offers him a ladder to climb out of the choppy seas. “No thank you! I am waiting for God to save me!”

Well, eventually the man exhausts himself from treading water & crying out to God & the waves overtake him & he drowns at sea.

When he gets to heaven, he says, “God, why didn’t you save me?? I kept crying out to You!! Didn’t You hear me?? Didn’t You care?!?”

God patiently, gently rests His hand on the man’s shoulder & responds, “My son, I did hear you. I did listen. I sent you a life preserver, a boat, & finally a helicopter… But you didn’t accept any of it.”

That’s Where I Was… That’s What I Did

That was me during depression. I cried out to God. He responded. I accredited it to someone or something else & kept crying out to God to save me.

I would fall back into the darkness only to go back to relying on myself.

I doubted God too much to stay holding on to Him as my source for help because I didn’t know He was the One helping.

Thoughts of Suicide Became Plans for Suicide… But Then, GOD

And eventually, after years of asking (begging, through bleary eyes) for God to answer & clear up my doubts & to give me a true sense of hope & peace & security… I began to give up hope completely.

My temptation for suicide became more than just considerations… it became something that felt like my only hope.

No one wanted me (according to the lies in my head) & I wasn’t good for anything other than being a burden to everyone around me (again, the lies were ruthless & relentless).

No matter what I had tried to be strong enough, to smile through it, to think more positively, to ignore it, to find my own “happy”, to fight back, to be good enough… nothing EVER worked long term. They all crumbled eventually & they left me with nothing left to fight with.

I was done.

One Night… I Gave Up

And one night, through my desperate sobs, bringing me to my knees in my bedroom… Eventually weighing me down so much that I lay flat, face burrowed in the carpet…

I gave up fighting.

I was ready to die.

I was ready for the pain to stop because I couldn’t carry it anymore.

I didn’t feel I had any choice. I felt it was the merciful choice for a family & for friendships where I only caused them more drama, more burden, more pain.

I was ready to stop fighting. I had nothing left in me to try or to give.

I was tired & angry & hurt & felt unloved & invisible & mocked & ugly & fat & worthless & stupid & never good enough & weak & a burden. And I was so, so, SO tired.

One Night… I Stopped Trying to be “Strong Enough”

And as I lay there, face planted into the carpet, arms limp at my sides… legs lifeless… heart bleeding. No strength left to cry. Just numb & empty.

With barely a whisper worth of strength & hope left.

I prayed.

“God, don’t You hear me? Don’t I matter at all to You? Do You even exist? Are You laughing at me? Why won’t You help me? Why did You even make someone as worthless as me? [Sobs] I can’t do it anymore. I can’t fight. I have nothing left. If You are real, You are my ONLY option now nothing else works. My parents think I am drugged out. My sisters can’t seem to stand me… Many of my friends laugh at me like I’m a joke… My teachers don’t even bother anymore… I have nothing left. No one left. I can’t do it anymore, God. I’m not strong enough. If You really are God, You are my only hope. You are all that’s left. Please. Show me You are real, that You are near me & that You care for me. And if You can’t do that, kill me because I give up trying to be strong enough. Be my everything or let me die.”

One Night… God Changed EVERYTHING

And as my prayer faded… it happened.

Every ounce of hatred, of pain, loneliness, fear, doubt, anger, sadness, despair, sorrow, & everything that had pressed me down & down until I couldn’t stand anymore… EVERYTHING vanished in a single instant.

I felt a full breath of hope fill my lungs.

I felt goosebumps dance across every inch of skin.

I felt hope & love & joy & peace flood me like a rushing surge of water, racing to fill every broken place within me.

I felt FREE….

A smile danced at the corner of my mouth, erasing the bitterness & hopelessness.

I sat up, stunned.

I felt as if strong, warm arms wrapped around my entire self, squeezing the loneliness & fear into a safe embrace full of love.

And every doubt was shot dead in that one moment.

God Had a Plan That I Didn’t See… He Always Has a Plan

God wasn’t letting me suffer for the fun of it…. No!

He KNEW that unless He peeled away everything else that I clung to as my source of hope, I would just keep clinging to everything else but Him… Everything but real hope.

He knew those things weren’t my answer & that the lies I believed kept me imprisoned into believing I was left to rely on unsustainable, unstable sources… like myself… ones that crumbled & faded & ebbed & flowed.

He wanted me to know solid, secure ground. He wanted me to know what true, eternal hope felt like, apart from anything temporal & fleeting that I tried to cling to.

He knew that the ONLY way to show Himself as the One true source of Hope & Truth that would get my attention & STICK was to take everything else away where there was only Him left.

Truth Is Truth, & It SHALL Set You FREE!

I had asked, not for a temporary fix, but for TRUTH I could rest in & rely on & He did what He knew it would take to show me that it was found only in Him.

You see, if you are really seeking truth… not “truth” that you WANT to believe, but ACTUAL, REAL TRUTH… God is capable of knowing exactly how you will know 100% what that truth is. He can make it crystal clear (with no smudges of doubt!)

If you just want a “truth” that satiates you into living how you want, you will always be on the waves of the sea like I was… trying helplessly to cling to whatever you think might help, only to see it insufficient & far from lasting.

But if you want SURE faith that you can go ALL IN & not come out a fool.

If you want something you can securely build your life upon…

It’s in Him. It’s found ONLY Him.

So ask Him.

Not a SINGLE Regret… Only Praise! And Freedom!

If you think I regret for a SINGLE moment those several years of doubts & then depression & then eventual suicidal thoughts plaguing my life… you are DEAD WRONG.

I feel SO BLESSED & SO PRIVELEGED to KNOW 100% what I can count on.

Do I still make mistakes? Heck yes! Do I still have doubts pop up? Heck yes!

Is God patient to guide me & do I now finally have a source I can go to with FULL CONFIDENCE to answer those doubts with patience, love, grace, & TRUTH?

YES!!! A million times yes!

I Want You to Have Peace & Rest in REAL Truth… The Simple Grace Offered by Jesus

And I want that for you. It’s why I do this blog. It’s why I write when it’s not my strongest talent.

I want you to find that secure ground… That peace… That surety… That LOVE… & GRACE! I want you to know TRUTH!

 So come to Him with your doubts & don’t stop asking! He HEARS you!

Shine Hope, by trusting in the sure foundation of real, lasting, reliable TRUTH.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST to follow along with my journey of Pivot moments. I can’t wait to see you there!

And make sure to Subscribe (Join My Tribe), so you don’t miss it!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Quinn Necklace

This innovative statement piece is accented with white & silver beads & has a detachable bottom pendant (shown detached), creating two unique looks.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely! deused1 \lsd

Ducking underneath the low hanging vines, she stepped through the dark woods. Her senses were alert, taking in the sounds around her. Above her, the deep green leaves rustled in the wind. Around her were the sounds of the forest, the bustling of the scurrying critters, aware & nervous of her presence.

And behind her, she heard a branch crunched underfoot.

It wouldn’t be long now before she was caught, but she was determined to venture further into the mysterious darkness surrounding her.

Sunlight snuck through between branches, dancing on the dark stumps, soft moss, & green grass of the forest floor around her. The darkness seemed to dodge each sunbeam, but the light persisted, shining brightly through the shadows.

Another branch crunched behind her.

She edged forward, taking in the smells of the woods. The fresh air was intoxicating as she breathed deeply, relishing in the fresh scent of nature.

She reached out her arms as she strolled, allowing her fingertips to brush gently against the leaves & floral plants along her self-made path.

She could feel the soft earth beneath the thin soles of her sandals.

Everything seemed right to her, & yet, something was not quite right.

Something was off about this place. As much as she tried to embrace this dark forest of a home, she felt that she never belonged here–that she was never meant to be here.

Something always lurked in the shadows.

She was getting closer now, she could feel it. The air seemed fresher & the beauty surrounding her seemed to grow richer the closer she came.

Very soon now, she would arrive at her determined destination. She would finally be free of the darkness that followed her every step.

Another crunch behind her.

“You can’t run forever,” a deep voice spoke up from the dark.

“I can’t stay here forever either,” she whispered in return, unsure of whether she was even heard.

Undeterred, she continued to step forward, bold in her determination to finally break into the light.

She had grown so accustomed to the dark woods. As foreboding & dim as it was, it was all she ever knew.

Every rock & stump & creek & shadow were all familiar to her. It was her home.

But she also knew that it was a lie. It was something she settled for, not wanting to risk believing the tales of the bright place beyond her dark home.

Why give up everything she has ever known for a tale of something that could be merely a myth? Because somehow this “myth” seemed to beckon to her, calling her by name, lovingly inviting her to see for herself.

She couldn’t see it, but she could feel it. It was more real than anything she had ever physically seen or felt in her dark woods.

But her doubts kept her back for so long, asking her why she would risk trusting in something that she could not see for herself?

Despite her trepidation, she had realized that her thirst for something more than this dark forest beckoned her beyond her ability to deter or ignore it.

She wanted to believe there was more. She wanted to believe that there was something greater than this darkness she had come to accept.

 “It’s not worth it. You won’t be free anymore. Come back with me.” The deep voice stirred up doubts in her heart. She hesitated, halted in the midst of the forest life around her.

“I can’t,” she determined. “I can’t be content to stay trapped here. Something is missing & I want to know what it is. I want more.”

“You will regret it. There are rules. Here, you are free. Come back with me….” As she glanced back, a hand reached from the shadows & eyes gleamed in the darkness.

Something menacing crept through the calm look in those gleaming eyes.

“I… I won’t. Those rules others spoke of… they seem to be right somehow. And I am not free here. It is darkness. It is suffocating. Something is missing. I must know what it is.” She stammered, but as she spoke, courage seemed to bubble up within her, emboldening her to keep forward.

“I have to know the truth,” she determined, turning away from the voice.

A mingling of fear mixed with her newfound courage. Those gleaming eyes she had once accepted now left her feeling unsettled. Something about them sent chills up her spine. She wanted to get away from them.

Stepping more quickly, she decided that nothing would hold her back anymore. She wanted to see the light shine freely. She wanted to feel safe & secure. She wanted freedom from the darkness that encapsulated her life.

She didn’t know if she was somehow too late. She didn’t know if she would be counted worthy to leave the darkness & enter into the light, but she had to at least try.

This place she had come to love & accept seemed but a shadow of what called to her heart. She had to know & see it for herself.

The calm, deep voice seemed to morph in the shadows, an underlying threat seeming to cut into the words, “Come back now. You won’t like it there. It’s better here. Don’t hope for more. What more could you want than doing whatever it is you wish? This is the place you need to be. Stay here!”

Chills danced nervously on her skin as she pushed forward. She no longer had the nerve to look behind her. The voice had always seemed to placate her into never seeking out something better. But now, it seemed to threaten her, demanding that she not break free.

She broke into a run & then she stopped in her tracks when she saw it… Light breaking through the trees & a gentle looking man, made all of light, with arms outstretched & a wide, warm smile welcoming her approach.

All at once, something inside of her changed. She felt securely loved & cherished & protected & cared for & brave & strong & free & FORGIVEN.

Looking into His eyes broke chains that had been clinging to her-chains she had denied were even there. Fear & regret & shame seemed to melt into the ground beneath her with every step closer.

She no longer doubted.

The voice behind her sounded desperate now. “No! Stay here! It’s better here! You can do whatever you want! There are no rules! Don’t go there! I WANT CONTROL OF YOU!”

She broke into a sprint, straight toward this man she had never met & yet felt like someone she had known all her life.

He saw through her, every crack & every mistake. She could feel it. He KNEW her, even her worst!

And yet… warmth. Love… Grace.

As she reached Him, she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her dirtied cheeks, too overwhelmed by emotion to meet His eyes.

She was too unworthy. She wasn’t enough. She didn’t deserve this kindness.

And yet…

“My darling one, do not be afraid. You have been forgiven. My grace has covered you. You are free now.” His voice was sincere, gentle & kind. “Come to me, my daughter. I love you as you are. Welcome home.”

Her face tilted upwards, hesitant & humbled. Her eyes were red & & her cheeks tear-stained.

But something wonderful donned on her in that moment when her eyes met His.

She felt light. She felt… free.

She slowly, carefully rose to her feet, not taking her eyes from the gentle eyes that stared back.

Questions danced in her eyes, wondering if this could all be real… If she could really feel this secure & loved & forgiven & FREE… If she could really be accepted by Someone as kind & gracious & wonderful as He.

With knowing eyes, He nodded in affirmation, understanding her hesitation, & a genuine smile spread across His face, His arms still open wide.

“Welcome home, darling one,” He said as He spread His arms even wider, beckoning her into His welcoming embrace.

This time, she didn’t even pause before closing the distance into the best hug she had ever known… one that seemed to erase in an instant every heartache she had carried throughout her entire lifetime.

She was FINALLY home & she never wanted to go back to the darkness that was once her life.

*****************

After that day, she quickly realized that life still had its complications & she still made mistakes on a regular basis. But something was different now. It was as if she was being changed from the inside out. The more she got to know the Man who welcomed her into light, the more her heart seemed to grow in wisdom, strength, & peace.

She could feel His strength working through her. His courage replaced her fears when faced with difficult circumstances as she learned to trust Him through each storm.

She now could ask Him for wisdom in any situation, no longer relying on the limitations of her own understanding.

And she knew grace as a way of life. His grace seemed to flow through EVERYTHING.

She no longer lived each day trying to survive the dark world she once called home.

He lit her path. He guided her steps. He cared for her & loved her & cherished her soul.

His grace flowed through it all, allowing her freedom she had never known before.

And never came a day where she regretted leaving the darkness of the forest she had once called home because now she knew the stories were true.

The Bright Place was not actually a destination to arrive at, but a Someone to love her unconditionally… A Someone who gave of His own life to cover her wrongs… A Someone who conquered death & sits on the right hand of God’s throne. A Someone more wonderful & powerful & gracious than any she had ever known.

A Someone named Jesus.

And now, instead of living in the darkness… She lived in GRACE.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Co-Founder of Trades of Hope, Holly’s, passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Whether she is visiting the brothels of Asia or in hometown USA, her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity. A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

(*Also Pictured: Lagoon Studs, empowering women out of poverty in India!)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Happy Holiday Season!

Happy Holidays, Lovely! I hope that your Thanksgiving was meaningful, relaxing, & special.

As we look forward to Christmas, I thought it would be fun to share some fun holiday traditions that can leave a lasting impact on those with whom you share them.

(I really should have talked about this last month, so we could all practice some of them during Thanksgiving, but let’s tuck these away for next year, as well as enjoying some of them during the Christmas season.)

Give Yourself Grace

As most of us are probably aware, the holidays are known for their hustle & bustle. There is an overall rush to make the holidays special & memorable to those near & dear to us.

But let’s take a moment to step back, take a deep breath, & consider some (possibly new) traditions that can add an extra special touch to our holidays.

And yes, that could include going for a Rotisserie Chicken this year versus a turkey if you’re just cooking for one or two of you (I know that’s something my hubs & I do when we don’t have plans with friends).

It’s important to give ourselves a break sometimes so that the holidays are more about making special memories than looking forward to the stress being over when it’s all done, am I right?

Giving Thanks

For Thanksgiving, it can be easy to think about the “feast fit for kings” that so many of us look forward to, or even remembering the beginnings for the lives of the settlers.

But for me, the overshadowing theme for Thanksgiving is just what its name implies—giving thanks.

Not just giving thanks to our family & our friends, but also to those whose service makes our lives better: military servicemen & women, janitors, customer service support, nurses, doctors, & so many more.

Other people doing hard jobs to improve our lives day-to-day deserve our special thanks, most certainly.

But the One who deserves our thanks most of all, is our great God.

Amidst the troubles of this world, amidst our rebellion & sin, God sent Christ to pay our debt on the cross so that we could find redemption & grace. He offers us strength & peace when we ask of Him. He loves us fiercely & unconditionally. He is Lord of All, Creator of All, & our great redeemer.

So, during the Thanksgiving season, take time to show extra appreciation for your family & friends, & for those working to serve you, whether it be the cashier at the checkout, your gym instructor, your mailman, barista, or the janitor cleaning the restrooms. But most of all, remember to thank God!

Say, “Thank You,” a little more regularly (& then maybe make it a habit in every day).

Making Moments Meaningful

Here are a couple specific Thanksgiving traditions my husband & I have enjoyed with our family & friends.

When gathering for the Thanksgiving meal, we take turns reading compiled verses about Thanks-giving, taking time to recognize our God in Heaven who is the author of all good things.

Here are some verses that we have used in the past:

1. “Let us come into His presence with thanksgiving;” (Psalm 95:2a)
2. “with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6b)
3. “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
4. “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” (2 Corinthians 9:15)
5. “When you have eaten & are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land He has given you.” (Deuteronomy 8:10)
6. “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful & thankful.” (Colossians 4:2)
7. “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, & so worship God acceptably with reverence & awe.” (Hebrews 12:28)
8. “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; & be ye thankful.” (Colossians 3:15)
9. “Now thanks [be] unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ,” (2 Corinthians 2:14)
10. “And Jesus took the loaves; & when He had given thanks, He distributed to the disciples,” (John 6:11)
11. “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever!” (Psalm 107:1)

You can even make this into a memorable keepsake for your friends & family to take home with them! Add thanks-themed verses to a document, include a fun border, & print a copy for each guest. Then, after passing them out & taking turns reading aloud, they can have a nice reminder of the many reasons to give thanks year-round!

(For extra fun, cut out leaves from construction paper & add one of each of the verses to each leaf (& maybe even add a little glitter, *wink).

Don’t Just Say It, Pray It

Another tradition that my hubs & I have done with friends is instead of going around & saying one thing we’re thankful for, we all hold hands & take turns praying our praise to God for what He is doing, has done, & will do in each of our lives.

(And for those who maybe don’t feel comfortable praying out loud, make sure to say that it’s okay to simply squeeze the hand of the person next to you on your turn if you would like to pass.)

It has always been such a heartfelt time of unity when we have come together to openly praise God by praying together. You really leave feeling more like family.

Can you think of another meaningful tradition that refocus our hearts on giving thanks to God & being a testimony of His love & power to those with whom we share our Thanksgiving holiday?

Remembering Christ in Christmas

For Christmas, there are so many great traditions out there that I simply could never touch on them all, but here are some ideas to try!

Someone recently pointed out to me that Luke has 24 chapters in it. My friend’s idea for a new tradition was to spend every day in December reading one chapter of Luke together as a family & finishing off by re-reading the story of Christ’s birth on Christmas morning.

What a great idea to keep our hearts & minds focused on Christ all season long by reading through Christ’s ministry on earth & His sacrifice & resurrection!

The Nativity Ornaments Search

If you have young children (or grandchildren), another fun tradition is to have tree ornaments for the different people in the Christmas story & as you tell the story, have the children search & find the different ornaments that represent each part of the story!

What a great way to make the Christmas story fun & engaging!

(If you have multiple children, you can even have several sheep ornaments as well as a shepherd, or barn animals, or multiple angels, etc. so they each have something to search for. Or, simply have them take turns being the searcher.)

Being a Light for Christ for Christmas

Many Christmas traditions can also involve serving those around us. Here are some (of many!) ways you can represent Christ by serving those around you this Christmas season (& all year round, even!)

1. Babysit for a single parent so they have time to Christmas shop (or relax!)
2. Volunteer at a shelter
3. Serve food to the homeless
4. Read the Christmas Story to individuals at a nursing home or hospital
5. Collect & distribute warm clothing & food gift cards donations for the homeless
6. Bring cookies & carols to hurting families (struggling through cancer, recent injury, or the death of a loved one during Christmastime)
7. Give money to a local charity
8. Send an extra monetary gift to a missionary
9. Sponsor a child in need with gifts or monthly sponsorship
10. Send letters to deployed military.

There are so many ways to spread the love & hope of Christ during the holidays–Get creative!

Which traditions stood out to you? Do you or your family do other traditions that point to the love & hope of Christ? Let me know about them!

I hope that this season (& all year round) brings you closer to each other & closer to Christ. God bless.

Spread love, Beautiful, & Shine HOPE this Christmas season (& all year long)!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back on Monday morning EST, for next week’s burst of encouragement for your week. Love you!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Gatsby Necklace

Dazzle in this faceted silver glass beaded collar necklace. Pair it with a little black dress or jeans & heels.

Artisan Information:

In India, poverty is rampant & fair working conditions are hard to find. But with every purchase, women are receiving an income, access to healthcare, & adult literacy programs! Not only does this change their lives, but they are also pouring back into their communities & helping others! You have the opportunity to empower thousands of women in India!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Have You Ever Felt…

Have you ever felt like invisible hands are holding on to you & pulling you down?

Have you ever felt like the world is crushing you?

Have you ever felt like you are chasing an ever-fleeting feeling of happiness?

Have you ever felt despair, an endless dark void in your life?

Have you ever tried to make up for wrongs, but you feel like no matter your efforts, it’s pointless?

Do You…

Do you feel weak from trying to be good enough & strong enough in every situation?

Do you scramble to find where you fit in this world, always feeling like a square peg trying to fit in a triangle-shaped hole?

Do you feel tossed around by life?

Do you wish life wasn’t so hard all of the time?

Do you try & try & try again, only to fail & fall repeatedly?

Do you ache for someone to love you? To really love you just as you are?

Do you feel the necessity to pretend to be greater or more than you feel you are just to hang on to love?

Do you feel alone?

I have been there…. But I am not there anymore.

Once Upon A Time

All of those questions once described my life. All of those questions described a plague that infected my life once upon a time.

I didn’t know how to end it. I didn’t think there was a cure.

People always told me, “that’s just life.”

Has anyone ever said that to you? Even if they haven’t, have you ever felt that to be true?

I have.

That’s just life. Sometimes we tell ourselves that just as a reason to keep going… but to what end? (There is hope, though… so keep reading!)

Don’t Give Up

The most condemning answer we can hear is, “that’s just life.” Because in that three-worded phrase comes an understanding that there is no hope, that we just have to accept an existence of misery while we still live.

“That’s just life.” What a heart-breaking lie.

What a chain-maintaining, prison-keeping, darkness-inducing LIE.

The Other Side

Because let me tell you something… I have seen the other side. I know from EXPERIENCE that “That’s just life” is a lie, because I have seen what is very possible.

You can see those chains break. You can rush out of that prison. And the shining light of hope can meet you on the other side!

But you can’t do it alone.

Where Does My Help Come From?

Yes, that is where the lie, “That’s just life,” comes from—attempting to break out on our own, inevitably failing, & thus concluding that it is impossible to see any other result.

When we try to break out on our own, we sometimes will tirelessly make unfruitful attempts to fill the black void that seems to eat away at our soul.

We try to find happiness. We chase it with the wind. One more sprint! One more leap! I will surely catch it this time & I will finally be happy!

We chase success, wealth, recognition, reputation, health, affirmation, comfort, laughter, love.

We chase anything that will “finally make us happy.”

But Wait…

But then one of two things always seems to happen… We either reach complete success in that which we are chasing so eagerly & we somehow still feel empty… Or, we keep chasing it & it keeps getting away, leaving us to perpetually tire while still desperately running on our hamster wheel going nowhere.

Either way, inevitably, we start believing that little lie, “that’s just life.”

You see, we are hopeless in trying to reach it on our own. We are completely incapable of ever filling that void because it just seems to always get bigger.

We are hopeless & completely incapable… On Our Own.

Now don’t misunderstand me, every other person, even when working together, will also be hopeless & completely incapable. Another person can never fill that void any more than you can on your own.

So, who can?

There is SOMEONE

You see, I know Someone who shatters all chains, kicks down all prison doors, feeds & completely satisfies your soul, gives you rest & peace, loves you completely & UNCONDITIONALLY, & is always waiting with open arms to hold & affirm you.

I am not talking about some feel-good, positive-thinking vibes where if you believe hard enough that you can be happy with this Someone then you will be happy.

No. I am talking about even when having nothing left to give, broken & poured out, weeping, lost, & destitute, still finding freedom outside of yourself.

Finding Real Freedom

I am talking about a freedom you can’t create or imagine into existence.

I am talking about a freedom you don’t have to micro-manage to keep it.

I am talking about a freedom that despite the worst of you, is somehow offered to you.

I am talking about a freedom that is offered to us, without asking anything from us.

I am talking about a freedom already paid for, in which you don’t have to earn.

I am talking about a freedom that despite our complete lacking of deserving or earning any of it, is still offered to us.

This Freedom

This freedom sets you free in a way that baffles & astounds & sets us in awe.

This freedom is complete & thorough, breaking through EVERY chain that holds you.

This freedom is a gift.

This freedom is very much real.

When I Have Nothing, I Can Have EVERYTHING

In the midst of my sorrow, my hatred & anger, my ready-to-commit-suicide-because-nothing-ever-works self… I… Found… FREEDOM,

This type of freedom doesn’t leave you to fight it out on your own. This freedom doesn’t leave everything to your efforts. This freedom doesn’t come with conditions that must be met. This freedom cannot be earned. This freedom cannot be bought.

This freedom is FREE.

This freedom is lasting!

This freedom washes out all the rest & sets you free indeed.

What Is This Freedom?

This freedom is GRACE.

Jesus Christ.

He is God. He came down to Earth as man. He spent His life on Earth healing & serving humanity. He spoke Truth & Life & HOPE to everyone He met. He lived without sin. He lived LOVE.

And then He was rejected. He was beaten & mocked & killed in a gruesome display of disgrace. He could have summoned leagues of angels, but He stayed on that cross because He knew we couldn’t pay our own debt before God. He cried out. He died.

And three days later, He rose again!

He conquered death! He conquered sin! He conquered shame!

He died… So that WE may LIVE. He gave His Life so that we may Find Life.

What’s the Catch?

And what does He ask of us, for us to receive this amazing gift that we cannot earn?

Our faith… Our complete trust in Him.

That’s it.

Toss out trying to live life for you, by you, & through you. It doesn’t work.

Live for Him.

You will still make mistakes. You will still be human.

But the debt that you owed will be paid in full.

He Will Be…

And He will be your strength in trials. He will be your peace in confusion. He will be your Light in darkness. He will be your power when you have nothing. He will be your LOVE when you are lonely. He will be your satisfaction. He is ENOUGH.

He will welcome you into freedom.

It’s Worth Trusting the Creator of Mankind

We may not always understand His ways. We may think we know better.

But He is GOD. He doesn’t make mistakes. And whether we always agree or not, we can rest in knowing that HE KNOWS what He is doing & He is God.

But He promises that as we serve Him, He will turn our ashes into beauty & He will shine light into our darkness & He will work ALL things to the Good of those who love Him & are living for Him.

Those are pretty amazing promises! And He ALWAYS keeps His promises!

So, trust Him. Bow your heart before Him. Lay your way down in exchange for His.

Bow Your Heart… & Be Lifted Up from Your Mire

In your heart, right now, hand up everything you are trying to hold onto as your life preserver. Hand up everything you have done in rejection & rebellion to Him.

Ask for forgiveness.

And ask Him to be the Lord over your heart & life.

It’s that simple. One silent prayer leading to a whole life of freedom.

Run to Freedom, Accept His Grace

What’s stopping you?

It’s not “just life.” It’s ABUNDANT life!

A life of freedom awaits you.

Will you answer the call? Will you run into His waiting arms? Will you jump off the hamster wheel of life & race toward grace?

He is waiting with open arms for you, Lovely.

Find Hope. Shine Hope. Live Hope.

Coming Next Week

Hey everyone! I hope this week was an encouragement to you! Make sure to check back next Monday morning for my next post. See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear more about how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Jeweled Necklace

Wear this necklace long or doubled. Made out of iron wire, glass beads, & nickel-free plating.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & to send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty AND create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured, the Stella Earrings, made in India!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Getting Focused

As I get started on this blogging journey, I have spent many hours planning & thinking through what I would like to talk about.

I want to be intentional in what I use this space for—to encourage you with HOPE & with the courage to SHINE that hope.

I want to share with you my LIFE—my ups & downs, my insecurities & victories, my hesitations & my occasional courageous moments. I want to figuratively link arms with you & do this journey together.

To accomplish this, it really came down to one word—intentionality. And so, that’s where I am choosing to begin.