Good Memories through Rough Roads

Well, I have enjoyed these last few weeks of walking through some of the doubts I have faced in my life—ultimately, they are good reminders because, when looking back, I can clearly see all that God has brought me through, even in the worst of my doubts & struggles.

(NOTE: To see the doubts we have covered so far, find the “Categories” block on the righthand side of this webpage & select “Handling Doubts” in the dropdown menu.)

A Condensed Guide Ahead

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to do a quick recap of the doubts I have covered already, in a condensed way (with God’s Word), to serve as a reference when/if you face any of these doubts yourself.

When you’re really struggling, sometimes you (& I) need it hashed out & lengthy so we can really grasp a hold on the Truth to counter our swirling sense of overwhelm, but sometimes it’s best to just see some good reminders at a glance.

So, let’s do that today!

Things to Remember About DOUBTS

Let’s review some quick tips ABOUT doubts:

2. They are a tool Satan uses to trick us out of trusting our One true source of HOPE-God, through Christ.

3. God already knows we have them.

4. God can help us work through our doubts, usually in one of 2 ways: Either helping give us clarity to understand OR by helping us to see that we can TRUST Him, even when we don’t understand.

5. We should never hide/stuff our doubts, but instead, find freedom by turning to God & asking for His help in sorting through the doubts He already knows exist

Covering Our Doubts in TRUTH

The following doubts are all we have covered recently, with some encouragement from God’s Word for each one. I hope it serves as a reminder that even when life doesn’t make sense, you can trust Him & turn to Him in ALL things.

(Also, my numbering system throughout this series of blog posts has been an absolute mess & I APOLOGIZE for it, haha! Hopefully you can show me some grace & roll with it. And if you don’t see any issues, maybe I got too embarrassed & went back to fix it already, we shall see, haha.)

NOTE: All emphasis/brackets in verses are mine.

1. “Which religion is right/real? IS there a “right” religion? Does it matter?”

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6) JESUS is THE way!

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) Not based on how good we are, but in how Good God is, through Jesus’ payment on our behalf!

“For God so loved the world that He gave his one & only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

2. “What if God isn’t even real?”

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless & empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, & the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. And God said, “Let there be light,” & there was light.” (Genesis 1:1-3) Spend some time in Genesis 1, seeing the beauty of God’s creating work & then look outside & ponder the majesty of His creation, both specifically ordered AND vastly diverse & unique!

Also, if you remember in the Matthew 5 series, we talked about a PURE (see also, an UNDIVIDED) heart. The more we seek Him & His ways, the more we begin to see how personally & intimately He responds to our prayers. It’s a beautiful thing! He knows us so much better than we even know ourselves.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (Matthew 5:8)

3. “What if I am beyond forgiveness?”

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful & just & will forgive us our sins & purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) ALL. All unrighteousness.

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven & against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe & put it on him. Put a ring on his finger & sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf & kill it. Let’s have a feast & celebrate. For this son of mine was dead & is alive again; he was lost & is found.’ So they began to celebrate.” (Luke 15:11-24) THAT is Jesus’ LOVE for YOU.

4. “Can God really hear/answer my prayers? Why pray?”

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

“Ask & it will be given to you; seek & you will find; knock & the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; & to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8) Seek HIM.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

5. “Is it really that important to read the WHOLE Bible versus focusing on key phrases/verses?”

“The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul./The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple./The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart./The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes./The fear [reverential trust] of the Lord is pure, enduring forever./The decrees of the Lord are firm, & all of them are righteous./They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;/they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb./By them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward.” (Psalm 19:7-11) God’s Word NOURISHES us!!

“All Scripture is God-breathed & is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting & training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17) ALL.

6. “Can God even help me read my Bible or follow Him when nothing I do seems to work?

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church & in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever & ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)

7. (Subtle doubt) “I think I know best for my day-to-day schedule/life, so there’s no need to ask Him.”

“You are not to do as we do here today, everyone doing as they see fit,” (Deuteronomy 12:8)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, & He will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

8. “I turned to God when my life was hard, but it’s still hard—Is God a false hope?”

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.” (1 Peter 1:6)

9. “Maybe I need to prove my faith by living for Him in my own strength, not His?”

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

“Seek His will in all you do, & He will show you which path to take.” (Proverbs 3:6)

10. “Where is God in my hurting?”

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

“Come to Me, all you who are weary & burdened, & I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle & humble in heart, & you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy & My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

11. “If He is good & all-powerful, why would He let this happen?”

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

12. “Am I being punished?” & 13. “Should I even ask for God’s help if I feel I deserve this?”

***Go back up & read the verses for #1 & #3 again, Lovely. <3 *** God is quick to forgive.

And That’s a Wrap!

Phew!

I don’t think I have ever put so much effort into a single post before this. But it was well worth the effort, reminding myself & maybe you, too, to seek God in every doubt.

Maybe you still doubt & maybe you doubt God so much that you don’t know whether you can trust His Word (the Bible). If so, TALK TO HIM about those doubts! Even in silent pleas, reach out to Him & ask for His help.

Start with the prayer I prayed a majority of my youth, found in Mark 9:23-24, where Jesus says, “If you can believe [in Him & in God’s power], all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out & said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

But, don’t take my word for it, basically EVER, go ask God yourself & solidify those answers in your heart by asking for His help in sorting through your doubts & showing you TRUTH in the midst of your fog or unsteadiness. He is standing ready with open arms to answer you because He cares for you.

Shine HOPE by not leaning on yourself & your understanding in your doubts, but by turning to God in all things. He’s got you, girl.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. The glass is tumbled with water & sand from the Red Sea. Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

An Aching Heart

Have you ever felt stuck in a hurt? Drowning, aching, numb, overwhelmed, or defeated?

Maybe it’s a harsh word from someone you love (or many).

Maybe it’s the raw ache of loneliness, like you have to face the world alone.

Maybe you lost someone who meant the world to you.

Maybe you feel unlovable & that your loneliness means you’re not enough.

Maybe you or someone you love is faced with a (potentially even) deadly disease or injury.

Maybe depression is making you feel like the world would be better off without you.

Maybe you have been abused or hurt deeply by someone you trusted.

Maybe you are drowning in a debt that haunts your ever step & only seems to get worse as time goes on.

Maybe shame & guilt haunts you & makes you feel like you’re not worth anyone’s grace or forgiveness.

Maybe you blame yourself for the heartache in your life. Maybe you blame the world. Maybe you blame God.

It is no surprise to me if you have any of those wars raging in your heart right now because I have personally struggled through each one at different times in my life & probably so many more.

The Hurts We All Face

I know that if you are a living, breathing human being, you have felt hurts & heartaches & pains, even if you try to deny them & shove them deep down inside your heart.

I wish that I could take them all away & set you free from them, but I know I don’t have such power or wisdom.

But I can pray with you. I can lift up your hurts with you to the One who CAN do something about them.

And I can encourage you to lean into Him every step of the way—Allow yourself to come to the end of you & to reach out to HIM in your times of greatest weakness & hurt. He is the true answer of HOPE in the worst of our circumstances.

The Doubts That Surface

In the midst of those greatest hurts & longings, we can have some painful doubts pop up about God & today I want to share the doubts I experienced through those hurts & the HOPE that brought me through them… the REAL hope… Not just a hoped-FOR hope, but a steady, sure, secure, lasting, reliable HOPE.

As always, my ultimate goal in writing this is to encourage you to reach out to HIM. I am limited & my answers only scratch the surface of who God is, what He is capable of, & how much He loves you, so turn to Him in every step & every tear. <3

“The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod & Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness & mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.” (Psalm 23, emphasis mine)

“God, where are You when I’m hurting?”

Have you ever felt like God is just ignoring you or maybe doesn’t even notice you at all in your pain? It’s an easy doubt to feel, especially when you know (or want to know) God to be kind & good… the hurts don’t jive with those ideas of God.

But, we need to remember something very important here:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, emphasis mine)

He Is with Us in the Hurts

God doesn’t promise that we will live a struggle-free life. In fact, He tells us just the opposite. We live in a sin-torn world & until heaven, we WILL struggle.

BUT, God does promise to be our ENOUGH in the struggle.

So, cry out to Him, slump into Him, & pour out your heart to Him (even if all you can manage is a slew of mumbled sobs directed toward God with an ache so you deep you don’t know how to verbalize it—He knows & He hears & He understands), asking for Him to be your strength & comfort & love & courage & HOPE when you feel you have none left to spare.

Where is He? He is right there with you in it & through it, so call out to Him & lean your full weight into Him through every ache & tear.

“God, if You ARE Good & All-Powerful, how could you let this happen to me?”

This one is a more fleshed-out form of the last doubt we just covered, getting to the heart of why that doubt hurts us so much. It really reveals our uncertainty of whether we feel we can trust God’s power or goodness or both when our world feels so incredibly consumed by hurts.

But, as I mentioned above, God doesn’t promise a lack of struggle—but He sees you & He loves you & He does promise to be our enough as we walk through the hurts, so lean into Him!

We also have an eternal HOPE to look forward to if we have put our trusting Hope in Jesus Christ to pay the price for our wrongs.

We may face trials “of many kinds” here on earth, but Heaven is a sure hope we can close our eyes, take a deep breath, exhale, & feel the comfort of knowing that this is just our temporary home & the trials aren’t for forever. But, in the now, God promises to be our help when we need Him.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers & sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4, emphasis mine)

“God, are You punishing me?”

Oh, dear one, how I have felt this one.

Most of us are not ignorant of our own mistakes, past or present. Deep down, we know we don’t deserve God’s grace… & sometimes we don’t cry out to God for help simply because we don’t feel we deserve it.

But while God does allow struggles to shape us & strengthen us, as we are told in 1 Peter 5:10, God does not seek to hold us in a place of shame because He offers us ready forgiveness with His FREE gift of grace through Jesus Christ.

”But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, & settle you. To Him be the glory & the dominion forever & ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:10-11)

So, when you feel that shame keeping you stuck in the muck of your sorrows, don’t let Satan keep whispering those chains of lies to your heart. Call out to God for forgiveness if there IS something you know you have done, & receive the forgiveness & grace that God is always so quick to give.

Read Luke 15:11-32 if you don’t believe me. <3 (Hint: God represents the father, & getting the inheritance NOW is us wanting to live OUR way NOW.)

“God, am I just not good enough? Do I deserve this?”

Sometimes we wonder why we feel so unloved when treading through the darkest times in our life, but rest assured that God does not make mistakes & that He makes EVERY person with a God-designed purpose AND HE loves every one of us more than we can ever comprehend.

Don’t let Satan blast you with everything you feel you are missing or lacking or losing, but instead, ask God to show you how He made you& to help you see both God’s design for your life AND how much you truly are LOVED by Him.

He is always willing to show us His care for us that somehow ends up seeming (& being!) so much richer than any of the ways we were seeking & missing it here on earth. He is the best expression of LOVE, true love, that you will ever experience if you learn to rest that fear in His loving arms & ask for His help.

The Key Element

I know there are probably many more doubts that can pop up in times of distress & aches of the heart, but the key element in all of these doubts is to TURN to HIM in them all. He can help you much better than I ever can.

So, let my experiences act merely as an encouragement that God really CAN help you, even when you see no possible way. And lean into Him every step.

Don’t let Satan paralyze you in these hurts & questions. Turn to God & seek TRUTH & find His hope to carry you through each moment. God, through Jesus Christ, is where our true hope comes from—so shine hope by shining His love & grace to a hurting world. He’s got you, babe.

Even in your darkest moments, God has you & loves you & will show you just how much when you take those fears & hurts to Him & lean your full weight of pain into Him for your true source of HELP.

He is where our help comes from. Not in us fixing it, but in us leaning into HIM.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven & earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2, emphasis mine)

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

The Diversity of Doubts

Doubts are a funny thing. They can permeate almost every aspect of our lives, whether we recognize them or not.

Sometimes they are so subtle that we don’t realize we have them, but they influence how we live our daily lives.

Sometimes they are so obtrusive that we can’t seem to see anything BUT those doubts, haunting us like a storm that follows our every move.

No matter what doubt it is, it is, I would argue, always rooted in a misunderstanding about who God is.

The Most Harmful Misunderstanding

If you think about it, so much of what we struggle with in our lives is centered around a misunderstanding about who God is, whether it be an anxiety or a trauma or anything in between.

Either we are not positive God can fix it (or at least not the way we would prefer it to be fixed) or we wonder if God cares enough to fix it even if we believe He CAN.

This misunderstanding can manifest on our auto-pilot life, doing the best we can the way we understand it should be (also see, “doing what is right in our own eyes.”) … or in us feeling paralyzed because we feel like what we want to believe about God may not be the way we always envisioned it to be.

Doubts in the Christian Life

So, today, I want to tackle a few specific doubts I had once I made the decision to trust God after my ocean of doubts-some of which I covered in Part 1.

A couple weeks ago started us off with “I’m Not Very Good at Reading the Bible,” so let’s go into a few more.

6. Doing What Seems Right in Our Own Eyes

The biggest one that is so easily missed, because of its subtlety, is “doing what is right in [our] own eyes.” (You can do a quick internet search to find some passages about this in the Bible.)

A lot of us are taught, even if just by example, the daily routines, habits, & flow of life as we see best. We don’t see it as doubting God, but we also don’t really stop to consider that He would have a different plan in mind than what we always grew up believing it should look like.

This is a doubt about God that can exist, in one form or another, throughout our entire lives, because it is so subtle that it doesn’t seem like a doubt in God at all, but just merely “the way life is.”

It Permeates So Many Areas of Life

I have talked about this topic many times throughout my blogging journey because I find it permeating my own ideals & habits all the time. I am not trying to do things “my way,” because to me it just feels it’s the only way I know.

We need to take a perspective shift with this one to realize that God’s plans are higher than our plans & extend through the span of eternity & not just the up-to-100+ years we are looking at.

The only way to accomplish a different mindset than “doing what is right in our own eyes,” since that is our automatic route, is to consider & turn to God in all things—spend time reading the Bible consistently, talk to Him regularly, & constantly ask God to show you where you might need to hand more over to Him or adjust for His plan versus your own.

Blessed Are the Meek!

It goes back to our Matthew 5 journey recently in meekness, taking our “strength” & “power” & offering our perceived control over to His perfect strength, wisdom, power, & plan.

Only in making those things of Bible reading, talking to God regularly, & turning more of your life over to Him a regular habit will we begin to see the areas where we are living according to what is “right in our own eyes” & begin to hand those over for God’s better way & better plan.

7. Is God a False-Hope?

The second Christian-life doubt I wrestled with for a long time was that Satan tried to lie & convince me that life was no better in trusting God over myself & that trusting God was a false-hope.

Let me reiterate that as a LIE from Satan & is not based in reality AT ALL.

You see, when I was relying on myself versus God, drowning in my doubts of God & trying to go it alone, I felt lost & alone & hopeless & scared—ALL THE TIME, with BRIEF pockets of relief.

BUT, when I finally turned those reins over to God, asking HIM to be in control, I felt steady & sure & stable, because I was trusting a sure thing, versus my flimsy self.

Hard Times Still Come, But It Is God Who Carries Us Through

Did hard times still come? Heck yes! And they still do! But now, even in my aching heart, even when things aren’t “magically fixed” like I wish them to be, I STILL HAVE a sure hope to count in, that God has a plan & WILL carry me through as I lean into Him.

What was once ALWAYS dark & scary & unsure, with brief moments of relief, became temporary pockets of dark, scary, unsure moments UNTIL I slump at His “feet” & ask Him to carry me through & be my strength in the hurts.

He is my hope, even when the world feels hopeless.

We will feel faithless at our worst, & Satan will try to riddle us with guilt & shame for it, but God is there to remind us that His faithfulness is not dependent on ours… & that all we need to do is cry out to Him & He will be there, ALWAYS, to carry us through our worst days.

8. Are We Supposed to Prove Our Faith by Living It Well on Our Own?

The last Christian Life doubt I want to talk about today ties in with the first one we covered earlier in this post, “doing what seems right in our own eyes.”

Not only in how we live should we be turning over the reins to God, like we talked about, but also in HOW WE SERVE GOD.

This means reading our Bible, talking to God about everything, & living for Him by serving & loving others.

But it also means trusting GOD to HELP us read our Bibles, talk to Him about everything, & live for Him in serving & loving others.

We don’t have to do those things in our own strength or willpower.

When We Know We Should But Don’t Want to or Feel We Can’t… God Can Help

We can submit our lack of willingness, pride, bad attitude, stubbornness, laziness, boredom, distractions, busyness, ailments, & EVERYTHING ELSE that keeps us from submitting to a healthy growth toward God, TO God.

We can open up & be real with Him about it, even if it’s our own lack of desire to do it or bad attitude or pride—He ALREADY KNOWS. So, open up to Him about it, get real with Him, confess it to Him, & ASK FOR HIS HELP WITH IT.

Sometimes Faithfulness Is Trusting in & Asking for His Help… Even in the Misplaced Desires or Lack There Of

I cannot tell you how many times I have to ask for His help with all the reasons I mentioned above. ALL. OF. THEM. Regularly.

I may know it’s good for me… Consistency in the last few years may have been blessing my life beyond what I imagined it could, BUT I STILL STRUGGLE & have to ask for His help sometimes.

Especially with prayer lately. I can inner dialog all day long to work out a solution without once considering, “Oh yeah, God…. Um, can You help me?” It’s embarrassing, but true!

So, Please, Please, PLEASE stop trying to live for Him on your own willpower steam & start submitting all of your obstacles to HIM for help, even if those obstacles are YOU & your unwillingness or lack of desire to follow through with it.

Quick Recap of Covered Doubts

Let’s recap the doubts we have covered so far, in the past 3 posts about doubts:

1. Jesus is THE way & there is NO OTHER way… & that is a good thing because He is saying we can’t save ourselves, but He has saved US, if we just accept His gracious gift of forgiveness.
2. God IS real—we can see Him in the specific order AND vast variety of creation… & in how He interacts with us PERSONALLY the more we submit to know Him more.
3. You’re NEVER “unsavable” because again, it’s not based on what you can do, but on what Jesus has done FOR YOU.
4. We pray because He CAN hear us & we know He can hear us because He interacts with us on a personal level as we grow to know Him more & is big enough to answer our God-honoring desires & still work His plan.
5. Reading your Bible consistently IS nourishment to you, it will change how you see & trust God, AND it is possible by asking for God’s help with it.
6. Doing it HIS way is always best, & even in the small, subtle ways, we should be asking for God’s guidance & wisdom to guide our steps along the way.
7. Pain & struggle does not mean God is not our perfect anchor, nor does it mean we lack “enough” faith, but is a call to fall in His arms recognizing His power & strength in light of our weakness & frailty.
8. Abiding in God & living for God is not meant to be done by sheer willpower, but by asking for God’s help & wisdom & strength & a change in our hearts every step of the way. Not perfection, but growth.

Next week, I plan to talk about fears & pain & struggle in light of our doubts about God, so make sure to come back for that.

Shine HOPE by looking to Him in all things great & small.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Can Reading the Whole Bible Really Benefit Me That Much?

So, we have been talking about doubts lately, but today I am going to take a quick detour down one specific doubt I had about whether or not I could ever be “good at” reading my Bible.

I grew up hearing about our need to “be in God’s Word” (the Bible) & to pray, but every time I tried to read my Bible, I felt bored or I just felt like it was outdated & unimportant to my life.

I Thought I Knew Better Than God…

I began to doubt God’s wisdom in Joshua 1:8 & Psalm 1:1-3, for example, to be meditating on His Word “day & night” because it just didn’t seem relevant to me, except for some key verses or concepts that spoke into specific things I was dealing with… but that was about it for me—a sort of grab “what you need” & leave the rest.

I wasn’t trying to be lazy or rebellious, I just was bored & it didn’t feel like it mattered all that much, except to make sure I wasn’t going against God’s will with specific sins or in knowing how to face certain trials, but otherwise I felt I was okay without it.

Basically, I thought I knew better than God. Ouch.

Even the Boring Parts?

Now, I want to confess here that I did have days that it definitely was about rebellion, & I struggle that way some days even now (although a lot less often), but most days I just didn’t feel like doing it because I didn’t get it.

I mean, all the genealogies & old laws & tabernacle design & all of the other boring in-betweens… who cares, right?

But yet, it always nagged me in the back of my mind that I was just finding any excuses I needed to back out of doing something that I knew God asked of me because it was less interesting & captivating than other ways I could be spending my time.

But, So Many Obstacles Always Get in My Way!

But still, even when I would admit that to myself & recommit to it, I would inevitably reach one of countless obstacles that just seemed too much for me to overcome: a headache, a cold, exhaustion, distractions, forgetfulness, busy schedule, losing track of time, impromptu plans, etc. I never could seem to get past the countless stream of obstacles that seemed to meet me at my already lack of desire to do it… so I would give up my commitment again & again because failing each time got old.

It seemed impossible, really.

I wasn’t trying to be rebellious, but life kept happening & Bible reading just didn’t fit.

Defeat Led to Defeat, Which Led to Giving Up

I felt defeated so many times. I would try to recommit out of guilt, or maybe a hint of a desire to see whether it really was as fulfilling as some people told me it was, but an obstacle would hit & I would be done. Again.

So, I read my Bible regularly now… & I actually enjoy it... & I don’t let anything stop me (although there’s always room for grace)… so HOW did I do it?

Here’s the backstory:

I didn’t wake up one day & decide to be great at consistent time reading my Bible (well, I did, but deciding & doing are different things, can anyone relate??) & then also running a blog with a Facebook Community.

I wasn’t always good at reading my Bible (I hardly ever read it beyond quick quotes that seemed to encourage me) & maybe you aren’t good at it either & maybe you see me & think to yourself, “Well, this is just something that she’s better at than me because I have tried it & I am AWFUL at keeping at it!”

So here is my timeline, my backstory (summarized) in hopes of helping you see the potential for a richer, fuller life & a better understanding of who God is & HOW MUCH He LOVES you!

Meeting Christ Young, Intermittent Reading, & Then, the ANSWER That Changed Everything

5 Years Old—Trusted Jesus to rescue me from my sin

Childhood–Read my Children’s Bible sometimes, but not regularly

Middle School—Began doubting God & my salvation & God’s Word & everything (it was a choppy time in my life because of this!)

High School—Went through depression & started asking God to show me I could count on Him when I couldn’t count on anything else (HE DID!)

Young Adulthood—Read books ABOUT God & attended Bible Studies, but didn’t really know how to separate opinion from Truth, or which books I could rely on to know… I tried to commit to Bible reading many times but always gave up.

Several Years Ago–Still had never read my whole Bible, (had begun but kept forgetting or rebelling & stopped many times), usually only bits & pieces here & there in quotable verses or in studies/sermons I attended….

BUT, I then read “Andrew Murray on Prayer” & my eyes were opened to the fact that in all my FAILURES to stay consistent & all my LACK OF UNDERSTANDING of what I was reading… dun dun dun… I could ask for God’s help in ALL OF IT!!

Wow! Total game changer because up until then, I had always beat myself up that I just wasn’t a strong enough Christian to do it & that “maybe someday…” but now I understood that I didn’t have to rely on MY willpower to overcome my constant obstacles because I could ASK GOD FOR HELP every step!

3 Years Ago—I determined to ASK GOD FOR HELP whenever I went to read….

• I asked for His help to understand.
• I asked for His help to concentrate.
• I asked for His help with clarity when I felt foggy or tired.
• I asked for His help to even WANT to read it MANY times when I felt stubborn, with an “I really don’t care right now” attitude.
• I asked for His help to overcome my bad attitude of “I don’t feel like its.”
• I asked for His help on the WHEN.
• I began asking for His help with ANYTHING that threatened to keep me from reading–especially MYSELF.

And I wouldn’t pray & move on… NO, I determined that if ANYONE could help me accomplish this, it was HIM, so I would pray & sit & wait, determined to do nothing else until He answered by changing my attitude, softening my heart to be willing, & cleared my mind of distractions to focus on it.

AND HE SHOWED UP EVERY TIME.

TWO Years Ago—Finished reading THE WHOLE BIBLE for the FIRST time, within ONE YEAR

ONE Year Ago–I did it AGAIN

THIS YEAR–I no longer need the strict rules to read 2-4 chapters a day to maintain consistency because I actually ENJOY it & LOOK FORWARD TO it!! I am working through slowing down my reading & digging DEEPER–underlining, looking up original Greek/Hebrew, writing notes, ETC. with guidance from KATIE ORR (Look her up!)

You Can Be a “Bible Girl”, Too

So, if you are discouraged, don’t let Satan keep you stuck there... Understand that if YOU can’t get yourself out of that, GOD CAN. So, ASK Him!! And KEEP ASKING Him!

He will show up for YOU, too!! <3

When I first started trying to read my Bible years ago, it always felt boring & hard to understand or to see how/why it really mattered—it seemed outdated & out of touch with NOW.

But when I started asking God to help me even WANT to, as well as to help me actually carry through with reading it, knowing He asks us to meditate on His Word as I mentioned earlier (hard to do when I wasn’t reading it much at all), it is so weird… Every time I read the Bible through, it having started out as so boring to me, you would think reading it multiple times would just be overwhelmingly boring… but the opposite ended up being true… honestly. The more I read it, the more I WANT to read it. Isn’t that weird?

Despite My Many Lackings

I know it sounds like, “well of course it’s easy for you, you’re one to do a blog & Facebook community & etc., but I’m different.” But, girl, don’t let Satan fool you away from the nourishment you will get when you stop letting your obstacles rule your life & you start asking for God to be your help in getting over them.

I wasn’t always good at it. I didn’t always have the courage to stand up for Him & shout His love to the masses, through my blog. But reading His Word emboldens me because I am learning to rely LESS on myself & what I know I’m not capable of & MORE of what I am learning He is FULLY capable of despite my lacking.

The More I Read, The More I WANT to Read

My love of the Bible wasn’t immediate. I had to pray SO MANY times just to get myself through it… BUT, this is me several years in the future telling you it’s SO worth it!

I understand a new layer every read. I understand more of how much God’s got this, all of this, in control. I understand more how AWFUL & wretched sin is (in ME) & also how much more my view of His GRACIOUSNESS grows. I understand more that no matter what I do or did or will do to mess up, in all my efforts & good intentions, God can’t love me any less. His love is unconditional… that means NO conditions have to be met for Him to love me (& you).

It’s All About HIM

And just reading it daily sets my perspective straight that it’s not about me being perfect or “good enough” but about worshipping Him by trusting His will & His daily guidance, strength, wisdom, hope, comfort, etc. And not just with an “I know He can do it,” but with an, ” I KNOW He’s got me.”

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

So, get to know His will & start asking for HIS HELP.

Start Now

So, will you start the journey? Or restart the journey?

And this time, don’t let Satan beat you down. Stop in the midst of your countless, “I can’ts” & ask God to give you the win.

“God, I feel stubborn. I feel like I don’t want to know rules or whatever. I don’t even know why, I just feel like I don’t care. But HELP me to care. Help me to see the value in it. Help me to DO it. I want to learn more about your love for me but I feel so stubborn. Help me!”

“God, I [feel tired, have a headache, feel too busy, feel too distracted, etc.] that I don’t think I can read it, but I know you ask us to, so it must be important. Help me to see that & right my perspective. Help me trust You over my own understanding because I KNOW You know best. You are God & I am not & I need You. Help me to overcome!”

The above prayers have been prayed countless times by me (not the exact words, but the same sentiment). Talk to Him. Be real & honest, even if it’s admitting you don’t want to. Just talk to Him & trust Him. Ask for a new perspective. Ask for help overcoming your lack of desire or your countless distractions.

What seems impossible to man is always possible with God, so ASK HIM. (Luke 18:27)

Shine Hope by going to Him for help in ALL things.

He LOVES you.

It makes me crave it, to dwell in it, to cherish it!

So, if you struggle reading your Bible, ask for God’s help & don’t STOP. It only gets better from here!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Lotus Earrings

Hand cut maroon suede makes these flower petal-inspired earrings a perfect statement.

Artisan Information:

In India, many women are forced to work in sweatshops with unfair pay & dangerous conditions. But with every purchase, the women who make this product are now working in a safe environment, being paid a fair wage & seeing their lives change for the better! They also have access to education & financial counseling. You are empowering women to have freedom to dream again!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

We All Have ‘Em & God Can Handle Them

Last week, we talked about “How to Handle Doubts & Still Honor God,” but this week, I want to talk about specific common doubts I have wrestled.

We all have doubts, & as was mentioned last week, doubts are one of Satan’s oldest tricks to push us further from hope & truth by making us withdraw from God.

But as we also mentioned last week, God already knows about our doubts because He knows all things hidden & revealed. He can handle your doubts & He understands that we are limited, created, & finite, while He is Limitless, Creator, & Eternal.

There will just be things we don’t understand sometimes & He knows that.

Remember, God Will Help Us Work Through Them

And when we turn to Him in those doubts, instead of pulling away from Him, He is able to help us work through them, either by giving us an “aha!” moment of clarity, revealing how it all fits together with your specific doubt, OR, He will reveal more of Himself to you—His love, His patience, His gentleness, His wisdom, His strength, His power, etc. to reassure you that while you may not be able to understand how to work through that doubt, you can definitely rest assured that trust in Him is sure & steady & always worth it.

So, now that we’ve reviewed, let’s take some time to focus in on some specific & common doubts, always remembering that God always knows best.

1. “How Do I Know Which Religion Is the RIGHT One?”

This is one that plagued me for years growing up, claiming I was a Christian, but not really sure if I was right or whether we were ALL right in some way? I really didn’t know.

But it can’t be one of many, because Jesus claims that He is THE way, THE truth, & THE life & that no one comes to God except through Him. (John 14:6)

That may sound like a stuck up, arrogant, self-absorbed claim to make, but here’s why it’s THE BEST news you will ever hear.

All other religions leave it up to you to be “enough”, the ambiguous, always shifting, unsteady push to be better & earn it in one way or another.

The “Good News”-Jesus Paid Our Debt IN FULL

But JESUS lets us know that even if just counting our inner thoughts, not to mention all the wrongs we have done, we CAN’T earn it… But that HE earned it FOR us.

I really believe that Jesus came later in history to die for us in order to reveal to us that no matter how much we reject & hate Him, no matter how wrong our wrongs are, no matter how much we could never earn it by balancing the scales ENOUGH in our favor… NO MATTER WHAT, Jesus STILL was faithful & STILL chose to die on our behalf.

That’s some GOOD NEWS if I ever heard any!!!

We strive to do good, not to earn His favor or balance any scales because our debt it PAID IN FULL. We do it out of a grateful heart that realizes that because His love is SO GREAT for US, He is worth giving our all to!

2. “What If God Isn’t Even Real? I Can’t See/Feel/Hear Him.”

The quickest & simplest way to dispel this doubt is to consider the wind. We can’t see it, but we can see its work as it blows a leaf across the ground, rustles the grass, & even knocks down big structures. It is gentle & soft sometimes & overwhelmingly powerful at other times.

If you remember our Matthew 5 (Part 2) talk, we mentioned how the “Pure in Heart” are blessed because they “will see God” (Matthew 5:8). As we strive to live with an undivided heart, in seeking to filter everything we do or think through God’s will & way, we begin to see Him more clearly in day to day life.

Talk to Him in All Things-Prayer

The more we talk to God & share our fears, worries, anxieties, anger, pain, scars, excitement, goals, plans, thoughts, etc., the more we begin to see Him interact in very intimately specific ways to our thoughts shared with Him. It’s pretty amazing!

If you never spend any time reading His Word (the Bible) consistently or talking to Him (prayer) consistently, don’t expect to recognize His fingerprints everywhere. The opposite is true.

Also, just look at the complexity of our mind & body… & babies forming in the womb, the sky’s clouds/sunsets, the ocean, the variety of flowers, the variety of tastes, smells, textures, temperatures, etc. This world was made (by God’s hand) with both specific order AND vast complexities/varieties. HOW COOL!

3. “I’ve Done Too Much Bad Stuff in My Life. If God Knew/Knows, He Would Never Forgive Me.”

OUCH. This one hurts, doesn’t it? I have BEEN there.

People like to look at me now & think, “such innocence, such grace, such sweetness of the soul…” (No? Okay, so maybe that’s just my wishful thinking, haha.) but God sees it ALL. He sees every decision I have knowingly made to reject Him & do things my way. He sees every excuse I made to back out of obedience. He knows when I have had a terrible attitude & was only looking out for numero uno (ME).

He also sees my list of past sins & ones that sometimes pop up & snag me for a brief time when I am not diligent in seeking God first, before I started trying to turn my life over to Him in meekness/letting Him take the reins of my time & life.

I’m not fooling Him in any way. And neither are you, if you’re trying. He sees you. He sees ALL of you.

And yet…

And YET, review doubt #1 above.

“I really believe that Jesus came later in history to die for us in order to reveal to us that no matter how much we reject & hate Him, no matter how wrong our wrongs are, no matter how much we could never earn it by balancing the scales ENOUGH in our favor… NO MATTER WHAT, Jesus STILL was faithful & STILL chose to die on our behalf.”

He sees it all. He knows it all. AND YET, He still forgives it all & He still came to die for us, that if we admit our wrongs, ask forgiveness for them, & turn from them, claiming Jesus as our SAVIOR & REDEEMER & LORD of our life, He is faithful & just to forgive us (ALL) of our sins! (1 John 1:9)

Don’t let Satan’s lie of “you’re just too far gone,” keep you from realizing the freedom & hope & security & JOY of Jesus’ grace meant for you!

4. “Why Pray? Can He Even Hear Me? If He’s GOD, Doesn’t He Know Already & Won’t He Just Do What He Wants Anyway?”

That’s a whole lot of doubts rolled into one (which I may delve deeper into each specifically later). But….

Yes, He can hear you just fine. And yes, He hears you even when you talk to Him in your mind. He hears you every moment.

Prayer is still something I wrestle with understanding fully because it seems so beyond imagination that the God who created EVERYTHING can hear me AND every other person at all times & that He condescends Himself to work through our prayers.

AND, while He can hear all of it all at once, & while He has a perfect will & plan, He can ALSO work our prayers INTO His plan.

Always Check What God Says About a Topic

If we check out 1 John 5:14-15 we are told, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.”

This doesn’t mean we can ask for an ice cream cone & one will appear in our hand. He isn’t our personal genie.

This also doesn’t mean He will always answer the way we think or hope or want. Because He knows better.

For instance, if we pray for true love, meaning particularly the man we have our eyes on, God may see how that man’s path or future does not line up with you as well as you think it does, & so He starts shaping the path toward someone else & ENDING this one, making you feel ignored & hurt & betrayed, when really, God is answering what you want, in His perfect fore-knowledge & wisdom, without you seeing it.

God Is Always Working

Sometimes, God will use the words of someone else, a book, a sermon, a tv show, etc. to speak right into what you’re asking Him about. (I don’t mean, “she said YES, so God is telling ME yes!!” but more of a lesson learned or teaching moment.)

He also knows that oftentimes, what we really need is not to have our way, but to trust HIM more with whatever it is. Like yearning for marriage/dating, when we really could stand to see how fulfilling God is to us when we really put effort into seeking Him—a steady love we can stand on versus an uncertain romance that could leave us hurting worse than before.

He Will Help Us As We Turn to Him for It

God never lets us down. (By the way, I feel the need to point out here that while Jamie & I are imperfectly learning together, I am certainly glad I waited for Him because our imperfections work well with each other’s strengths—but I cannot lean on him in all things & he can’t with me because we are JUST HUMAN… we have our limitations, while God DOES NOT.)

I could go on for a LONG time about all the different things I have learned about prayer—most of all that even in learning to or WANTING to trust Him, we CAN ASK for His help & He WILL HELP us.

(Check out the Categories listed on this site (at the bottom or to the right in a drop-down menu) & go to “Prayer” to read more!)

More Next Week…

I feel like this is a good stopping point, even though there are SO MANY more doubts out there, but I will possibly do Part 2 on Doubts next week, so stay tuned!

Shine HOPE by turning to God through ALL of your doubts & letting Him help you work through them!

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Iris Earrings

Iridescent pink crystal beads sway on these golden teardrop hoops.

Artisan Information:

In Peru, rural citizens have been affected by extreme poverty & guerrilla warfare. Women are affected the worst as their husbands generally leave them in search of work. Many are unable to get the basic needs of food, shelter, & clothing. But with every purchase of this product, women are finding hope & an income by hand making this beautiful product. Because of you, these family businesses are now empowering the next generation!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Peru!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

God Will Continue to Work

Well, we’re nearing the end of my pivotal moments series (for now). I know God will continue to shape me & continue to shake up my normal for His truth.

Trusting God AND Ourselves… Versus Just God

Today, we are following last week’s topic about trusting God through our struggles instead of coming up with our own solutions that, in turn, create new problems. (Like trusting in singleness & then panicking when God brings a relationship into your damaged heart life.)

It’s far too easy to try trusting God AND our own solution, versus JUST trusting GOD.

We tend to think the two are the same thing. Saying to ourselves & others, “I prayed (therefore, “trusting God”), but then I will do what I think will fix it versus waiting for His solution.”

So, it warrants a discussion about praying our way through fears, & trusting God, when we’re tempted to rely on our own strategy, “wisdom,” fears, etc.

(To read our Love Story, in short story form, check them out by clicking Part 1 & Part 2.)

But How?

But how does God answer our prayers? What does “trusting God only” even mean? How do we know what He wants when it’s different than what we want? How do you hear God’s answers? How do you even know His will if you can’t HEAR Him?

Those types of questions are so common & I have thought ALL of them. I still don’t have a comprehensive understanding of how God works & will probably always have something to learn when it comes to the answers to those questions.

But God oftentimes (pretty much exclusively) leads us with baby steps, versus dumping all of His infinite knowledge on us all at once.

Remember, He is an INFINITE God.

We, on the contrary, are FINITE.

But, baby steps.

So, when my now husband, Jamie, entered my life, I first panicked, then prayed.

Unbeknownst to Me

But unbeknownst to me, Jamie was already praying… & not about wanting a relationship with me.

He was ALSO praying to avoid another heartache.

But God kept nudging him… to me.

He kept avoiding… kept praying to stay single… but God would not let him ignore me.

It wasn’t a push to get married, just an undeniable push to befriend me.

This obviously clashed with my desire to avoid him at all costs, haha. Thanks, God.

And when I could no longer avoid him, upon him asking me on our first date, I finally had to stop running & start praying.

Praying My Desire Versus Praying to Trust God’s Plan

Now, let’s be clear that I HAD been praying the whole time… but not for God’s will, wisdom, & direction… but for me to stay single (what I thought I wanted aka what I thought would keep me safest from heartbreak).

And now, I had to make a clear decision & I had to ask God’s will & guidance & HELP. I had to be willing to trust God with both scenarios of relationship or singlehood, not just singlehood.

My Prayer

But then God whispered on my heart, “Do you remember what you have been praying these last few years?”

I did. It went something like, “God, help me to trust Your plan & not just the fears or perceptions I see in front of me. Help me to see that if I marry, you are wanting me to marry a man that will grow into the man I need, versus someone perfectly fit right now. Help me to see Your will above my own. Help me to not judge someone based on their NOW, versus Your potential within them. If I marry, Lord, help it be someone who is willing to let me down in order to follow YOUR LEAD. Because You know far better what’s best for me than I do. And, Lord, because I will no longer flirt or “help things along”, I will go on at least ONE date with a man willing to ask me out when I have shown zero interest… knowing how much courage that takes. Amen.”

Well, now a guy was asking me out & I had to put my faith to the test.

I had prayed those things more than I could count. And now was my opportunity to trust God’s answer & His willingness to lead me every step.

And He did.

(But I still freaked out & panicked & wanted to bail along the way, because fear is quite a motivator.)

Ask Anyway…

But for those of you who have those questions of how God could even help… & so avoid asking God for help in those moments, wondering what God could possibly do that you haven’t already tried yourself (sounds arrogant & completely ridiculous just writing it, doesn’t it?… but isn’t that what we sort of feel, if we’re completely honest with ourselves?)… I want to share my journey & what God did for me in the midst of my questions.

My pastor friend told me many times while dating my now husband, “God is not a God of confusion. If you want answers & you seek Him for those answers, He WILL answer you… you just need to wait on God’s timing for those answers & trust that HE is capable.”

Waiting on God for Every Step, Like a Daughter Dancing on Her Father’s Feet

And so, despite my inner rebel telling me to flee the scene & not risk another heartbreak, I kept praying & I took those baby steps, waiting on God’s timing & God’s answers instead of trusting my own fear & worry.

Here are some ways I prayed & ways that God answered me along the way:

(HINT: God is an infinite God. What He guides me through is not a cut & paste testimony, but rather an EXAMPLE of how personal God is with us, when we let Him. Don’t rely on how God led ME in lieu of letting Him lead YOU. What worked for me may not work for you. You have to take steps of trusting Him with your own situation. He will guide you!)

1. Praying Before We Even Met

As I mentioned before, it’s important to be praying beforehand so you are prepared to follow & listen to God when you DO meet. Pray for discernment, peace, wisdom, trust to follow God whether in singleness or marriage… & anything else that comes to mind or worries you.

But, if you’re already in a relationship, it’s never too late to start.

2. Pray, Willing to Give It Up If It’s Not God’s Guiding

Along the way, I prayed for God to guide me… for Him to kick me out of the dating relationship, with completely clear certainty, if it wasn’t His best for us. (I was sort of hoping He would kick me out of it so the risk of heartbreak would evaporate with it.)

I prayed not to cling, not to romanticize, not to make anything more than it was. I prayed for God’s perspective to overshadow my own. I prayed to be willing to allow His will to trump mine.

3. Praying for Perspective When You Meet

I knew I was a daydreamer, wrapped up in every new possibility….

And I felt God nudging my heart in a very specific way during the beginning of my time with Jamie, “Michelle, you fall head over heels immediately when a guy holds your hand & holds you in long, comforting hugs… & if you really want to stay objective to knowing My will, you know you need to avoid physical affection because that’s a personal weakness & trigger for you.”

And so, I set strict physical contact boundaries for our dating relationship. No hugs, no kisses, no holding hands, no arms around the shoulder… & no sex. And I stuck to it.

I wanted to know Jamie for who he was, not for how he made me feel. Feelings change. I wanted more than temporary, unreliable feelings.

4. Praying Over Character/Personality & Whether It Was a Good Match with How God Designed Me

Clashes happen a lot in marriage, even when you’re “a good fit for each other.”

God had shown me different character traits that were important to me along the way, such as being willing to displease me in order to obey God… Or someone who was a kind & gentle listener, seeking to understand & discuss, versus brush off… Someone who, even with flaws & weaknesses, sought to know & love God more… not to just be a “good enough person.”

I prayed often over very specific things, asking God to show me if Jamie at least had that potential &/or willingness to grow… WITHOUT me prompting it… (& that is an important distinction)! If he knew I felt I needed certain traits & he liked me, don’t you think he would do his best to be that for me? But no, I wanted to hear it from God, not Jamie… so I never once hinted at my hopes.

My prayers were silent, between me & God only.

And every prayer resulted in Jamie telling me something like this the next day or so, “I don’t know why, because this seems really random to talk about, but I feel like telling you this story about one time when [enter a story about said character trait that I had recently prayed about here] happened.”

Blew my mind every time, but God was constantly finding ways to reaffirm His guidance in our relationship, because I was diligently seeking His will first.

5. I Set Boundaries of Potential Relationship Timing & PRAYED

After pouring out my heart to Jamie, after our very first date, expressing all of my fears & concerns, I asked him to wait THREE months before even considering asking to make it an official relationship. Friends only–no relationship talk, no romance, nothing. Just friends–for three MONTHS.

And I prayed & asked God for His wisdom & guidance & timing & I didn’t even dare try to “help it along” … I just waited on God.

Coupling with my desire to be with a man willing to disappoint me in order to obey God’s leading, I asked God to have Jamie go against my three-month request in order to ONLY trust God, even at the risk of scaring me away for good. I asked for God to push Jamie to ask me before the end of three WEEKS’ time.

And I didn’t ONCE even HINT that I was praying that as a confirmation from God. Not once.

And guess what… On December 31^st, mere hours before the three week time frame was over, Jamie spoke up… “Michelle, I have been praying like you asked me to, for God’s will & timing versus my feelings & I got my answer a couple days ago, but have continued praying & continued waiting because you told me not to even bring it up until three months, but I can’t shake the feeling that I am supposed to tell you now. I have been battling it all day & praying it away because I am terrified of scaring you away, but I feel like God wants me to say it now, so I need to say it now. I feel like God wants me to ask you out today. Will you agree to an official relationship? Will you be my girlfriend?”

If you are imagining a cartoon where the person’s jaw literally hits the floor, you are imagining pretty closely to how I felt in that exact moment.

I prayed. I waited. God answered.

God Is Infinite… God Is Infinitely Creative… God ANSWERS

As I said before, God is infinite & infinitely creative. The way He works through my life is not the same as how He will choose to move, through prayer, in your own life.

This story is meant to prompt you to PRAY… to seek God alone… To trust that HE knows what He’s doing & He CAN & WILL guide you & give you wisdom as you seek Him.

Trust Him, always… It’s ALWAYS worth it.

And when you don’t feel like you even know how to begin trusting Him… Start there… Ask Him to help you know how to trust Him. He will, my friend. He will.

Shine HOPE, by praying through the fears & unknowns (which are often the same thing).

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Brave Necklace

With hand-rolled cereal box beads, Haitian clay beads, and paired with suede tan cording, this staple necklace is perfect for any wardrobe.

Artisan Information:

Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who gave them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Haiti!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Pivot Moments

These last couple weeks, I have begun taking you on a journey of major “Pivot” moments in my life.

In these moments of life change, God has shown Himself true & reliable & capable. He has been the love & grace & patience & power that has gotten me through & He is patiently guiding me to be the woman He made me to be.

Doubts to Darkness

This week, we are following through with the results of last week’s Pivot moment & the answers that finally squashed all of the doubts rattling my heart.

((To catch up from last week & read the story of my seemingly endless doubts, check out that post, here.))

So, after a year or two of doubting everything I once believed in about the simplicity of grace… depression hit me hard.

We’re about to dive headfirst into my darkest days, so hold on!

Shutting God Out & Choosing Me

You see, I had just spent about two years slowly training myself to shut out God’s voice of wisdom & warning from guiding me. I wanted to do it my way.

And now, I was in a raging, stormy sea without a life preserver, just struggling to survive on my own.

Depression became two long years of pain like I had never known before.

How It Began

I was a freshman, & then sophomore, in high school at this point, & my life was a mess of uncertainty & shame & fear & anger & hatred & loneliness & everything bad.

The cynical voice in my head had turned menacing & hurtful… telling me LIES that I believed, “Nobody likes you, you know. You’re not good enough for anybody. You’re an idiot. You’re fat & ugly. No one wants you. Their lives are harder because you’re alive. You complicate everything. Their lives are more peaceful & happier when you’re not here. Why are you here? No one wants you. You’re annoying. You’re too loud. You talk too much. Look at the mistakes you’ve made… you can’t undo them. You are a broken person who can’t be put together again. It would be better if you didn’t exist. You just make life harder for everyone. You would be doing everyone a service to not be here anymore. You can’t ever get anything right. Your family doesn’t want you. Your friends think you’re a joke. God doesn’t care about you either, if He even exists. You’re all alone. Why are you still here?”

Those lies were my every moment. I couldn’t shut them up or drown them out.

Trying to “Fake It Til I Make It”

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shut off those voices in my head telling me life would be better without me in it.

I got so tired of asking for advice from others… because it never helped.

I started plastering on a smile that never quite reached my eyes & pretending that I was fine & I could handle it.

But I couldn’t.

Fading Away in the Silence

I was chipping away… My resolve weakening every time I cried.

I would be sitting in class, listening to that endless reel of hateful dialogue in my head & my eyes would burn with hidden tears.

I would write my hurt & fears in journals, needing to tell SOMEONE, only to end up sobbing at the fact that that “someone” was paper because I didn’t feel like I had anyone who understood the hell inside my head.

Sometimes I thought about suicide.

No One Understood, Not Even Me

I would try to tell someone, only to be mocked or teased or brushed off.

I would plaster a smile on my face that never quite reached my eyes.

I felt numb & hated & unloved. I felt angry & hurt & alone. I felt LOST in my sea of doubts, unable to find steady ground to hold on to.

My Secret Tears

I would come home from school so many days, grab my kitty “Valentine”, & slowly, quietly close & lock my bedroom door trying not to draw attention to myself, duck into my closet, underneath my row of clothes hanging above me, close the closet doors to block out the sunlight (& the sound of my sobs), & then wail into a pillow I had brought in with me, hugging my cat tightly under the other arm.

I spent several days a week like this for two years & I don’t know if anyone ever even knew.

My Life Began to Fall Apart

I hated my life & everything in it because I felt so alone & so unloved & so worthless.

The menacing whisper never let up either. It followed me everywhere I went, never letting my heart rest.

I felt constantly beat up by a relentless wave of self-hatred.

My grades began plummeting. Relationships became strained.

I was losing faith in myself & others seemed to follow suit.

Pray, Girl, Pray! … But I Did!

At this point, you might be thinking, “Michelle! Your advice is always ‘pray first!’ so why didn’t you do that???”

I prayed so much it hurt.

I felt that God had abandoned me… that my choices to slowly, gradually do things my own way had offended Him beyond repair.

I was a Christian who “knew” better & yet had still turned her back on God.

Why would He want me? … If He even existed (I wasn’t sure of anything anymore).

But I kept praying.

Is He Listening? Does He Care?

I wondered how God could love me & let me suffer.

I wondered if He had just created us & left us down here to suffer while He laughed & pointed out our failures.

I wondered if He was even real.

But I kept praying because I knew that if He was real, He’d be my only hope.

I Prayed… & I Hurt

If He was real, the way He describes Himself throughout the Bible, then He alone was powerful enough to clear my doubts & prove Himself as the one true God.

If He was real, He had the power to fix everything.

And yet, I kept hurting.

I kept hurting worse, with every day, or so it seemed to my breaking heart.

I felt alone.

Rays of Hope Broke Through

And there would come times where I thought I saw Him through the dark clouds that overtook me.

A ray of sunshine (of hope) would break through my heart.

I would think, “Hey, that seems to be God helping me… right when I asked Him for help, _______________ happened! Maybe God DOES care about us… about me!!!”

But the Doubts Always Seemed to Win

But then, another wave of darkness… I would brush off that ray of hope like a glitch… or maybe I had just felt stronger that day & had just thought it was God or maybe it’s because someone helped me other than God… or basically maybe it was anything but God.

So, I would keep praying. But I would keep trying to find hope my own way.

And things like that ray of hope would keep happening when I chose to pray.

And still I found a way to credit something else as the source… Something other than God.

I kept praying.

The Lost Man At Sea

Have you ever heard the story/joke about the man drowning, begging God to save Him?

Well, first someone throws him a life preserver, but he says, “No thank you! I am waiting for God to save me!”

Then a boat comes along & offers to rescue him as he screams to God for help… “No thank you!” he responds, “I am waiting for God to save me!”

Then a rescue helicopter comes & offers him a ladder to climb out of the choppy seas. “No thank you! I am waiting for God to save me!”

Well, eventually the man exhausts himself from treading water & crying out to God & the waves overtake him & he drowns at sea.

When he gets to heaven, he says, “God, why didn’t you save me?? I kept crying out to You!! Didn’t You hear me?? Didn’t You care?!?”

God patiently, gently rests His hand on the man’s shoulder & responds, “My son, I did hear you. I did listen. I sent you a life preserver, a boat, & finally a helicopter… But you didn’t accept any of it.”

That’s Where I Was… That’s What I Did

That was me during depression. I cried out to God. He responded. I accredited it to someone or something else & kept crying out to God to save me.

I would fall back into the darkness only to go back to relying on myself.

I doubted God too much to stay holding on to Him as my source for help because I didn’t know He was the One helping.

Thoughts of Suicide Became Plans for Suicide… But Then, GOD

And eventually, after years of asking (begging, through bleary eyes) for God to answer & clear up my doubts & to give me a true sense of hope & peace & security… I began to give up hope completely.

My temptation for suicide became more than just considerations… it became something that felt like my only hope.

No one wanted me (according to the lies in my head) & I wasn’t good for anything other than being a burden to everyone around me (again, the lies were ruthless & relentless).

No matter what I had tried to be strong enough, to smile through it, to think more positively, to ignore it, to find my own “happy”, to fight back, to be good enough… nothing EVER worked long term. They all crumbled eventually & they left me with nothing left to fight with.

I was done.

One Night… I Gave Up

And one night, through my desperate sobs, bringing me to my knees in my bedroom… Eventually weighing me down so much that I lay flat, face burrowed in the carpet…

I gave up fighting.

I was ready to die.

I was ready for the pain to stop because I couldn’t carry it anymore.

I didn’t feel I had any choice. I felt it was the merciful choice for a family & for friendships where I only caused them more drama, more burden, more pain.

I was ready to stop fighting. I had nothing left in me to try or to give.

I was tired & angry & hurt & felt unloved & invisible & mocked & ugly & fat & worthless & stupid & never good enough & weak & a burden. And I was so, so, SO tired.

One Night… I Stopped Trying to be “Strong Enough”

And as I lay there, face planted into the carpet, arms limp at my sides… legs lifeless… heart bleeding. No strength left to cry. Just numb & empty.

With barely a whisper worth of strength & hope left.

I prayed.

“God, don’t You hear me? Don’t I matter at all to You? Do You even exist? Are You laughing at me? Why won’t You help me? Why did You even make someone as worthless as me? [Sobs] I can’t do it anymore. I can’t fight. I have nothing left. If You are real, You are my ONLY option now nothing else works. My parents think I am drugged out. My sisters can’t seem to stand me… Many of my friends laugh at me like I’m a joke… My teachers don’t even bother anymore… I have nothing left. No one left. I can’t do it anymore, God. I’m not strong enough. If You really are God, You are my only hope. You are all that’s left. Please. Show me You are real, that You are near me & that You care for me. And if You can’t do that, kill me because I give up trying to be strong enough. Be my everything or let me die.”

One Night… God Changed EVERYTHING

And as my prayer faded… it happened.

Every ounce of hatred, of pain, loneliness, fear, doubt, anger, sadness, despair, sorrow, & everything that had pressed me down & down until I couldn’t stand anymore… EVERYTHING vanished in a single instant.

I felt a full breath of hope fill my lungs.

I felt goosebumps dance across every inch of skin.

I felt hope & love & joy & peace flood me like a rushing surge of water, racing to fill every broken place within me.

I felt FREE….

A smile danced at the corner of my mouth, erasing the bitterness & hopelessness.

I sat up, stunned.

I felt as if strong, warm arms wrapped around my entire self, squeezing the loneliness & fear into a safe embrace full of love.

And every doubt was shot dead in that one moment.

God Had a Plan That I Didn’t See… He Always Has a Plan

God wasn’t letting me suffer for the fun of it…. No!

He KNEW that unless He peeled away everything else that I clung to as my source of hope, I would just keep clinging to everything else but Him… Everything but real hope.

He knew those things weren’t my answer & that the lies I believed kept me imprisoned into believing I was left to rely on unsustainable, unstable sources… like myself… ones that crumbled & faded & ebbed & flowed.

He wanted me to know solid, secure ground. He wanted me to know what true, eternal hope felt like, apart from anything temporal & fleeting that I tried to cling to.

He knew that the ONLY way to show Himself as the One true source of Hope & Truth that would get my attention & STICK was to take everything else away where there was only Him left.

Truth Is Truth, & It SHALL Set You FREE!

I had asked, not for a temporary fix, but for TRUTH I could rest in & rely on & He did what He knew it would take to show me that it was found only in Him.

You see, if you are really seeking truth… not “truth” that you WANT to believe, but ACTUAL, REAL TRUTH… God is capable of knowing exactly how you will know 100% what that truth is. He can make it crystal clear (with no smudges of doubt!)

If you just want a “truth” that satiates you into living how you want, you will always be on the waves of the sea like I was… trying helplessly to cling to whatever you think might help, only to see it insufficient & far from lasting.

But if you want SURE faith that you can go ALL IN & not come out a fool.

If you want something you can securely build your life upon…

It’s in Him. It’s found ONLY Him.

So ask Him.

Not a SINGLE Regret… Only Praise! And Freedom!

If you think I regret for a SINGLE moment those several years of doubts & then depression & then eventual suicidal thoughts plaguing my life… you are DEAD WRONG.

I feel SO BLESSED & SO PRIVELEGED to KNOW 100% what I can count on.

Do I still make mistakes? Heck yes! Do I still have doubts pop up? Heck yes!

Is God patient to guide me & do I now finally have a source I can go to with FULL CONFIDENCE to answer those doubts with patience, love, grace, & TRUTH?

YES!!! A million times yes!

I Want You to Have Peace & Rest in REAL Truth… The Simple Grace Offered by Jesus

And I want that for you. It’s why I do this blog. It’s why I write when it’s not my strongest talent.

I want you to find that secure ground… That peace… That surety… That LOVE… & GRACE! I want you to know TRUTH!

 So come to Him with your doubts & don’t stop asking! He HEARS you!

Shine Hope, by trusting in the sure foundation of real, lasting, reliable TRUTH.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST to follow along with my journey of Pivot moments. I can’t wait to see you there!

And make sure to Subscribe (Join My Tribe), so you don’t miss it!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Quinn Necklace

This innovative statement piece is accented with white & silver beads & has a detachable bottom pendant (shown detached), creating two unique looks.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely! deused1 \lsd

The Raging Sea of Doubts about God Began

If you missed last week’s post, it was all about the first & greatest “Pivot” moment in my life, the day I met Jesus. (Check it out, here.)

It was simple & pure, trusting like a child (because I was a child).

But something big changed when I was first introduced to the Left Behind movie series, starring Kirk Cameron.

Doubts entered the picture.

… Fear that maybe I got it all wrong & that I was maybe actually going to Hell… going to be “left behind,” only to live in the shame that my faith was fake the whole time… or just not strong enough.

I wanted to know for sure.

Other “Options” Now in the Picture

But then, being now in public middle school, I was hearing all sorts of opinions on what others thought was truth, based on a plethora of other “religious choices” that other kids at my school were adamantly claiming as truth. (I love the word plethora, don’t you? Haha)

So, combine my fear that my faith might not be “real enough” with the fact that I now questioned if my religion was even real…. I was then tossed into a sea of raging doubts. A sea that seemed to go on without end.

I didn’t know which way was up or down or left or right anymore. What once seemed so simple & so pure was now tainted with doubts & full of fear.

And rebellion.

Part of Me Wanted It All to be Fake–So I Could Live MY Way

I can’t deny that nasty word from making its appearance in this whole scenario.

I knew, deep down, that something in me WANTED it to be fake. I wanted it to all be a sham so that I could do whatever I wanted like everyone else seemed so comfortable doing. I didn’t want consequences, just freedom, my way. I mostly just didn’t want to have to follow rules (mostly because I misunderstood the “rules” in the first place, thinking they were meant to suck fun out of my life versus the way to live the most fulfilling & satisfying life imaginable!)

But I couldn’t do that IF it might be real.

Because… consequences.

God Has a Reason

You see, I always thought of God as a sort of dictator & that Christianity was all about following His rules, or else.

Now, don’t hear me wrong, we DEFINITELY should live by His rules & His alone, not ours… But it’s for our good, not just “because He says so.”

The Doubts Led to Determination for TRUTH

So, here I was, afraid that my faith was not real enough, afraid that my religion might not even be real, & afraid that I would be trying to follow rules I didn’t want to follow just to appease some possibly made up God.

I had to know the truth. If everyone thought their “god” was real, which one was right? They couldn’t all be right because that made them all sound made up. So, which one was it?

Did I believe just because I grew up that way? Was I indoctrinated into Christianity because I was told to believe it? Was my salvation even real? Maybe I wasn’t good enough to prove my sincerity of faith…. Was God even real? What was real? What was truth? Can we even know?

Those were just the tip of the iceberg for me. I had questions that went on for days.

And with those questions came the tossing to & fro unrest that became my life.

Tossing To & Fro

Gone was my sure foundation, my steady ground built on faith in God.

My life was a mix of fear, anxiety, & rebellious hopes to have my way.

I will tell you that those were some of the worst times in my life, knowing that unrest & lack of peace… & the fear undercurrent that flowed through it all.

Puberty is hard enough without all of THAT going on inside my head!

But despite how many questions I asked, the answers were never enough.

The Cynical Questions

I felt a cynical whisper repeatedly, following every answer I received from others, saying, “But what do they know? What makes them the expert? All the other religions think they’re correct, too, so saying so doesn’t make it true. Humans make mistakes, so which one has it right? What if they’re all wrong? What if there is no God? No hope. No truth. No Heaven or Hell. No consequences?”

I never knew what to trust. I never knew WHO to trust.

Not that someone would knowingly LIE to me, but that maybe they were wrong.

I felt lost.

Deciding My OWN Path

Because I searched for close to two years without feeling satisfied that I could accept anything as pure truth versus opinions, I did the only thing I knew to do at that point, I started deciding for myself what I wanted to believe.

Of course, I wouldn’t do anything that seemed blatantly wrong or something I was warned against as a kid, JUST IN CASE there were consequences.

But instead of living to make some potentially made up God happy, I started living to make ME happy.

That’s when my sea of doubts began to take a sinister turn for the worst.

Lying to Myself

The guilt that I shoved down… The shame that I justified & placated… The excuses I made to keep living for myself….

It was a game of trying to stay above consequences while still getting whatever I wanted out of life.

This pivot of doubts was a painful, complicated one. It wasn’t as simple & pure as my first pivot. It felt like always flailing to keep my head above water.

Truth or Bust

I was no longer satisfied complacently wearing my badge of Christianity, going to church & praying before mealtimes… I wanted truth.

I wanted to know for sure whether or not what I believed was true or whether it was a myth developed long before I was born.

And I knew, that if anyone could answer these questions for me, it was God Himself.

The cynical voice was right, humans DID make mistakes, made even more evident by the endless slew of “religions” to choose from, because not all religions could be right (as some conflicted with others), so that meant some of them were wrong, if not all of them.

Not only that, but the Bible claimed that it’s God was the ONE TRUE God, Creator of Heaven & Earth, Lord over ALL. So, if that were true, there goes the rest of the “gods” out there.

Being the ONE TRUE God was a bold claim & a claim I wasn’t sure I could put my undivided faith toward. But either way, I wanted to know the truth for myself.

Maybe I Can Just Ignore It…

Oh, I TRIED to just smile & shoo away (more like shove away) all of my doubts, attending church & keeping my nagging doubts to myself (too ashamed to admit I questioned it all, afraid of upsetting God or my family or anyone really!) but those doubts were significantly stronger & more persistent than I was.

No longer could I stay content trusting in others’ opinions of truth. I was beginning a journey to find ACTUAL truth that I could rest in & hope in… a hope that wouldn’t fall out from under me.

Asking God, But Then Looking Elsewhere

I knew that God was the only One who could really prove Himself true, because if He were as He said He was, in the Bible, He could do ANYTHING.

But, like many people do, I didn’t stop at that… Oh, no, no. I had a backup plan that included me taking action to find that truth my own way….

… By relying on myself to find what made me happy, versus leaning into God for lasting joy.

Instead of leaning into God, I leaned mostly into myself & whatever I felt was true for me which, by definition, meant I was no different than anyone else I dismissed.

Questions Answered by God, Who Knows All & Knows Your Heart & Knows Just How to Reach to the Core of Your Doubts–If You Let Him

That led me down a much worse path—depression. Or, as I am calling it in this series, “Pivot #3”, coming next week.

The point I want to make with this week’s post is this:

We all have questions, because we will never fully understand God or His design for this world or for our lives… but don’t run AWAY from God with those questions.

Take your questions to Him. He can handle it. He has patience like you wouldn’t believe & wisdom that transcends time & human limitations.

God Is the Backup Plan to the Original Plan–He Is Where Truth Awaits

My life provides you with an example of what NOT to do.

Don’t take your questions, ask God for help in answering them, & THEN ALSO try to find happiness your own way. It doesn’t end up well. You can convince yourself you’re fine all you want, but something in your spirit screams that there’s meant to be more than just surviving. Listen to that. It’s right.

God wants you to come home to Him, to rest in Him, to feel SURE… He wants you to feel secure & at peace with the foundation of steady, reliable truth. He wants you to know His love & grace & to feel those flowing through every situation in life.

Trust Him with your questions. He CAN & WILL answer them.

Answers Came in the Darkness

Next week, you will see how He answered my questions countless times, but I dismissed them countless more, until He got my attention in a way that I can never dismiss again.

He knew (knows) ME & how to get through to ME in a way that is intimately designed to make it clear in a way I need it to be.

He can do the same for you—If you are truly seeking truth & not just a way to placate your desire for a consequence-free lifestyle of rebellion to everything God stands for He will reveal truth.

Seek Him—He can handle it.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning, EST, for Pivot #3, the story of my dark journey through depression, & the truth that broke through the raging sea.

Make sure to Join My Tribe (Subscribe), so you don’t miss it!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Worthy Necklace

Beautifully delicate in design, this rose gold plated chain displays a light pink rose quartz stone. Crafted in India.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

(Also pictured: Steadfast Cuff, made in India!)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

(To read or re-read Part 1 of this story before continuing on, please check it out, here.)

…

She stared wide-eyed at her computer screen long after he signed off, her jaw dropped & her face flushed with shock.

What just happened…?

***********************

The next day was dawning & the remembrance of her looming plans rushed back into her mind as she groggily awoke from a restless night of sleep.

Maybe if she didn’t tell anyone about the date, she could just go out, come back afterwards, & then just move on with her life.

She had already decided that she wasn’t going to do anything differently with this boy. She was going to be herself & nothing more. If she didn’t find him funny, she would not giggle politely to humor him. If he says anything she didn’t agree with, she would let him know flat out. No pretending. No faking. If he didn’t like her as is, then he could move on all the sooner & so could she.

The impending doom… er, date… was coming up & she was spending her day trying to put it from her mind. She was well aware of the fact that she hadn’t given him her phone number & that if he got lost & wanted to call for better directions, oh well.

She also knew how mean that sounded. It’s not that she wanted to be mean to this guy… she just really didn’t want to end up crushing his heart like she seemed to already have been so good at doing with other guys. She wanted to spare herself the drama & the pain that seemed to inevitably accompany her dating efforts.

Better to end it now, rather than draw it out, establish feelings, & then rip out both of their hearts. It was actually the merciful thing, although seemingly harsh in the moment.

As the day went on, she eventually started preparing for her date. She wanted to dress confidently, to hopefully feel the confidence she aimed to project. Her nerves seemed to be bouncing off every wall she passed throughout the day & although her face showed calm composure, she couldn’t deny the rate at which her heart was beating. First dates are awkward & she was not looking forward to this one.

Although, in the back of her mind, she had to admit a flicker of excitement & even the truth of feeling flattered.

***********************

The evening arrived in a blur of a day. Her mom had insisted upon meeting him (completely breaking the code of not meeting the parents until you were getting serious in your relationship). At least this could only act as an extra deterrent, so she should have been more willing to oblige, but embarrassment won that round instead.

Heading out the door, as he opened the passenger door for her, she stepped into the car & a magical thing happened—ease & calm swept over her heart as she slid into the seat. She felt somehow like she had been in this seat a million times before & it somehow felt natural to be sitting in it right then.

The movie was pleasant & dinner was delicious, but conversation was exceptionally surprising. They laughed (genuinely), talked about life (no fluff, just real, honest talk), & they felt like long-lost friends reunited. It was surprising & yet, familiar.

As the evening concluded, they said their goodbyes & picked up their conversation through messages online later that night.

That’s when the problem occurred.

As they chatted, he shared with her how he had been feeling God leading him to this point & nudging him to ask her out. He had resisted, recovering from his own painful romantic memories, but had felt God saying, “will you do this in My timing, or yours?” And that’s when he gave in & went for it by asking her out.

Needless to say, telling a skittish, commitment-phobe girl that “God was telling you to push forward with dating her because God wanted you to pursue her” was basically like telling her to RUN! Not the smartest move on his part, probably.

And so, in response to his bold proclamation, she went on auto-pilot & proceeded to dump her entire relationship history on him as a defense mechanism. She shared everything. Ev-er-y-thing.

While spilling her every heartache onto the unsuspecting victim of her outburst, she cried & wanted to scream at him. She was so freaked out about potentially hurting him or getting herself heartbroken yet again. She was mad at him for being so bold when she had barely agreed to this one date. She was mad that she was finally satisfied with singleness, had learned to avoid flirtations & relying on men for affirmation & now this! She was mad that he had ruined their awesome night of relaxed jollity with bold statements of pursuing her romantically.

And so, she dumped all of her heartache on his shoulders.

He didn’t run. He didn’t defend himself. He just listened patiently, feeling the hurt in her words.

Once the panic & outpouring of her past heartache began to subside, in one final effort to protect the both of them from experiencing similar fates, she asked him to make a vow to her.

The vow was this, “Do not ask me out or talk about a relationship with me for three months. Three months. Pray. Just pray. Ask God to help you get over your twitterpated feelings so that you can see God’s will above your own will. And I will pray that God help me see past my fears to understand His will. Three months & no sooner. Just pray about it.”

He agreed & they said their goodbyes for the evening.

After they signed off their message chat, she cried. She felt ashamed for dumping her past on this unsuspecting guy. She felt ashamed for not trusting God when faced with something that scared her. She felt scared for the potential damage she could cause him. She wanted to run away.

And as she cried, she prayed something quite differently than what she had just said to that young man who had stirred all of these emotions & all of this fear. She asked God to make His will clear to her above all else. She no longer wanted to date for “fun” or “attention” or “fulfillment”. She only wanted to be with someone if the relationship honored God & if it was His best for her. She wanted to rest in the security of Christ’s embrace versus relying on the embrace of a man to fulfill her.

She wanted God’s will.

And so, she prayed this, “God, I don’t know what to do. I am so scared. I can’t go through this again! I can’t risk hurting myself or hurting someone else like that again. I just can’t! You have taught me to rely on You alone for comfort & strength & love & fulfillment… I don’t know how to fit a man into that. Help me! I will refuse to have a man replace Your place in my heart, so show me Your will. If this is Your plan for my path, please make it so clear to both he & I that we are left with no doubts. Be the ruler of this relationship. If this is Your will, give him so much confidence of Your will to pursue me that he is willing to risk losing me in order to follow Your will. Give him the confidence to ask me out before January 1, three WEEKS from now. If he is willing to break his promise to me & risk losing me, all for the sake of obeying You, I will know that You have sent him to me & I will say yes. Your will be done. Amen.”

And then she slept.

***********************

In the days that followed, he kept his promise to her. He didn’t once mention the idea of a future romantic relationship. He was simply acting as her friend. They shared prayers together. They shared testimony of God working in their individual lives. They grew in their relationship with God more than with each other. There was no pressure to be good enough or to show off or to impress each other toward a relationship. It was easy & relaxed & a friendship built on the understanding that neither of us belonged to each other, but rather to Christ. There was laughter & fun & there were happy memories made as they chatted online almost every day.

She kept praying for peace in her heart & to know God’s will. She prayed several times about specific characteristics that she knew without uncertainty that God had shown her she needed in a husband.  Every time she prayed specifically about a characteristic or potential in this man, without fail, this guy randomly, out of the blue & with zero prompting from her, would tell a story about himself that displayed that exact characteristic, sometimes almost verbatim to her prayers. She was always left in wonder & awe to see God answer her questions & concerns so clearly. She could see His fingerprints in their budding friendship.

Along with their many online chats & visits at church functions, the two of them went out together on two more outings that held no romantic nuances. Just friends spending time together.

The third time they hung out in person (other than seeing each other at church events), their time for the day was coming to a close. It was December 31 and no mention of relationships had taken place since their first date. He had held true to his promise.

She shifted in her seat, secretly remembering her prayers about something happening before January 1 if it were God’s will. She began wondering if this meant that God would show her in a different way & that maybe the timing just wasn’t right yet… or if this would mean that His answer was a firm, “no”. She started praying silently, asking God for wisdom on which of these two scenarios were His answer.

Sitting in the car, parked in front of the house, she moved to begin saying her “goodbye until next time” when he, who had been sitting silently next to her for several minutes now, finally spoke up.

“Wait. I feel like I really need to tell you something. I have kept my promise. I have been praying about God’s will to overshadow my own & I haven’t mentioned relationships since that night that we last spoke about it. But three days ago, I feel like I got my answer. I have been praying since then for God to solidify His answer in my heart & to show me when I should tell you, since you made me promise to wait three months… Well, as we were about to say goodbye, I just got this overwhelming feeling that the answer was right now. I know it’s breaking the promise, but I can’t deny that push. I feel like I am supposed to tell you right now that I think God wants me to pursue a romantic relationship with you.”

…

…

…

Panic. Pure panic. Shock. Wonderment. Awe. Panic. Head spinning. Replaying words in her head. Processing the information as the car grew hot & the air grew thick & the car grew significantly smaller with every breath. Heavy breathing, trying not to pass out. Wondering at how God works in her life when she asks Him to & how faithful & amazing He is.

“Michelle…?” he asked her tentatively, fear starting to well inside him as well.

“Oh my gosh. I just… Oh my gosh… What? Did you just ask me out? Oh my gosh… It hasn’t been three months… How did you know…? Oh my gosh… I didn’t tell anyone… Oh my gosh… What just happened…?”

He sat staring at her, probably preparing himself for her to exit his car & never look back.

Seeing his worry, she realized that she hadn’t told him why she was freaking out. She began to tell him her prayers & the change she had made to want him to risk losing her to follow God first. She told him what happened.

Realization dawned on his face, relief & joy replaced his worry. Now he was sitting in his seat, letting the truth of God’s amazing work sink in.

The two of them sat quietly, amazed. Who knew that God would show up so clearly when they asked for His guidance? Who knew how much God cared about their budding relationship? Their eyes had been opened & now they could see more of the Truth… God really cared about them. He cared about guiding them when they ask Him to… He cared for their hearts.

God cared so much more than they had known before that night, & now they could sit & smile & realize just how big & how great & how loving God really was.

He was worth following. He was worth trusting.

He is worth our everything.

***********************

To be Continued…

Part 2 Thoughts

If you hadn’t guessed already from having “her” name revealed as “Michelle”, this is a true story based on my personal love story with my now husband.

I share this story every chance I get because I want girls & women to understand how very much God cares about our hearts & how much He is willing to interact with & guide us along on the journey.

So often, we try to “help Him along” by flirting & trying to be such good girlfriends, putting all of the relationship pressure on our own shoulders, but God is willing to lift that from us & replace it with the peace of knowing that He will be enough to fill our hearts & if we are to marry, He will guide us every step of the way if we allow Him to.

So trust Him, Lovely. If you are seeking love, seek it in God’s loving arms. Not sure how that works or how that could possibly satisfy you more than a man, ask God to show you. He won’t disappoint.

Don’t trust your deceitful heart. Trust God’s steadfast love, wisdom, care, & guidance.

He really is enough & He is waiting to show you how much He really does love you, with or without a man in your life.

Coming Up

The love story doesn’t end there… Check back for next month’s Special Feature blog post (every last Thursday of the month) for “A Love Story-Part 3″!

Also, check back every Monday morning for my latest blog post, encouraging women to shine hope into this dark world by laying out my weaknesses & allowing God’s glory to shine through them. See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Avalon Earrings

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India & Thailand!

Made with brass & then silver-plated, these statement earrings are a nod to our Indian artisans’ culture.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, and receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Pearls of Hope Bracelet from Thailand.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

I Understand When… 

Wow, that’s quite a statement, isn’t it? “Obeying God, even when we don’t believe Him?”

Now, I get obeying Him when it comes to serving the poor, being gentle & gracious to others, etc. etc. flowers & rainbows.

I even get obeying Him when it’s hard, but when I can also see it being necessary, like surrendering my stress & trials to Him instead of attempting to do it myself….

It may take me some time, but I can wrap my mind around & accept obeying Him in those situations & on those terms.

But…

As humans, it is our nature to assess the world around us & to consequently establish judgements about what we believe in or what we should do about a certain situation… And act accordingly.

But God asks us to obey Him, even when we DON’T believe Him.

That right there is quite the challenge for me (& that’s putting it lightly).

We (or maybe it’s just me) like to pick out the verses that sound great to us… or those that benefit us… or those that make sense to us… & the rest… well, we sometimes, maybe neglect those completely.

Candy Bowl of Goodness

It’s easy to picture God’s Word as a candy bowl, an analogy I read recently, where we pick out the pieces that look good to us & sort of avoid the rest.

But God’s Word can be trusted through & through. Not because it makes sense to us & not even because we necessarily have to agree with all of it… But because it’s GOD’S WORD.

As the Creator of the Universe (including us, by the way), Lord of lords, King of Kings, Alpha (beginning) & the Omega (end)… He knows what He’s talking about.

And we don’t always have to “get it” for it to still be the Word of God.

Not a Genie… but, GOD

He offers so many promises of blessings, including the free gift of salvation & redemption of our wrongs, but He is still God… not our genie.

I am sure my Mom will be quick to tell you that I am a stubborn person & quite strong-willed, in most cases, (mothering me was quite the task, wasn’t it, Mom? Phew!) & I don’t like supporting or doing anything that goes against what I feel is right or fair… or what I want, to be frank.

But even when we DON’T believe Him & when we can’t seem to agree with Him, God still asks us to obey Him anyway.

That right there is one tough pill to swallow & it has been one of this biggest causes for rifts in my relationship with God.

Quick Detour

Now don’t get me wrong, God doesn’t want us to be blindly following Him as the dictator over our lives, never allowing us to question or doubt. He understands that we are finite in our understanding. He understands questions.

So ask them.

If you don’t understand why God says a certain thing, ask Him for wisdom & insight. Ask Him to teach you how to trust Him.

He can handle it.

But it’s not okay to just do what we want just because we don’t understand, without bothering to bow before Him & ask for wisdom & understanding of His will–because He is still God, & we are not.

There is so much I DO love about what God’s Word teaches us, though, without a doubt….

What I Love

I love that He forgives. I love that He is patient with me & He loves me. I love that He gives us a new beginning & works to see our potential blossom for His glory. I love that He offers us so much help & security & peace when we turn to Him in trials. I love that He offers abundant life & an opportunity to guide us into a life of blessing others each day. I love His never-ending patience with my stubborn heart.

I love all of those things!

But, Again…

But… I don’t really like obeying things on which I cannot put my own personal stamp of approval or understanding.

I like to read His Word, match it against all of my earthly, limited understanding about the world, & then decide for myself which I should obey or ignore.

Because I obviously know way better than God does.

Wait….

Ouch

Yeah, it sounds stupid when I say it like that… but isn’t that what I am essentially saying, when I pick & choose my “Choose My Own Religion” concepts to either obey or discard?

To have this abundant life that He promises… To see the potential that He uniquely created within each of us… To really be a blessing & a light to the world around us, we have to stop picking & choosing what we want to obey in God’s Word.

His Word comes as a package deal. It is not meant for snacking on the sweet sections that we like, but rather, the Bible is written as a well-rounded meal meant to nourish & sustain us.

Applies to Everything

I am not going to get into specific areas that people tend to use this method of picking & choosing what they either obey or toss out of God’s Word, because that will probably cause more dissention than edification…

But I think we can all think of one or MANY areas where we tend to do this… (Let’s just focus on ourselves for this, because we can’t parent everyone else.)

When we are faced with those types of situations, it is important for us to be “slow to speak & quick to listen” (James 1:19).

Slow to Speak, Quick to Listen

Many people take this verse to mean that we should be patient with others & become good listeners… But I heard one leader describe it this way (to paraphrase):

“When God asks us to be slow to speak & quick to listen, He is asking us to be careful about speaking up for God. We tend to get fired up about topics & we want to spew what we know about God back at them as a counter argument. But God is complex. His ways our higher than ours. And while we shouldn’t neglect speaking up for Truth, we should be careful in speaking to a specific situation, in God’s name. Unless you see outright harm being done to another person, we need to take the time to step back & ask God to shine wisdom on the situation & to show you the best course of action for that specific situation & even to give you tact & wisdom to know how to respond in a right & effective way. Because while we may think we know & understand a lot, we don’t know or understand everything… Give God a chance to lead the situation with His higher wisdom, for His higher purposes.”

That right there. I need that advice. A LOT.

God’s Got This

Because I may think I know a lot, but I do not understand everything.

But God does.

So, when we are met with a frustrating situation or an injustice or wanting to stand up for what we passionately believe is right… We need to learn the wisdom of stepping back, kneeling in prayer, & asking God to shine His wisdom & Truth into our hearts so that we can address the situation in a way that honors God & respects the situation from angles you may not understand.

God is enough, Lovely. We may not understand everything, but that’s okay because God does & He is fully worthy of our trust & obedience.

In Everything, for Our Good

I read a verse yesterday that really spoke to this Truth:

“Now if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort & salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort and salvation.” (2 Corinthians 1:6)

You see, whether we are facing something difficult or whether we are comforted, God intends it all for our good.

He can be trusted whether we agree with or understand Him… or not, because He is a Good God. And even if we struggle believing that, He is still God & He knows how He designed this world to work best.

So entrust your worries & frustrations & injustices to Him & ask for His wisdom & grace to be poured into the situation, instead of agonizing over how you believe it should work.

Ask Him

And when you come across something in the Bible that you don’t understand or agree with, ask Him to help you understand it. Ask Him to give you wisdom. Ask Him to give you faith, even when yours might feel miniscule.

Because God is enough to fill in the gaps of misunderstandings & shortcomings. And He is enough to know what is the right way, even when we don’t always understand or think we agree.

Just Trust… & Obey.

Shine Hope, Lovely… Wherever God has you in life right now… Shine HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Check back here this Thursday for our Monthly Special Feature post (every last Thursday of the month), where I share something a little different than usual.

I like to share helpful tips & tricks, share about my life in Japan, & write short stories & poems… & this is a fun way that I can share them with you & allow you to see a different part of me. I hope you enjoy!

ALSO, join me Next Monday morning for my next encouraging blog post & make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss it!!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Jeweled Necklace

Empowering women out of poverty, in India!

Wear this necklace long or doubled. Made out of iron wire, glass beads, and nickel-free plating.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write and grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children and send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty and create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!