Quick Reminders

So, last week we talked through some thoughts from the beginning of Matthew 5.

I never really understood this passage of “Blessed are…. For the shall…” verses, but in my recent study, I learned to see them as a sort of ladder for a life given to, lived for, & hoped rested in God.

I also wanted to remind us to see these not as, “It’s a good thing if you…. For you will be blessed,” but rather, “When you…, you will be blessed.”

PART 1 Recap–Matthew 5

(All emphasis/brackets are mine in verses.)

We already talked about the first three rungs of this ladder last week, in Part 1, but let’s do a quick review.

1. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.” (Matthew 5:3)

This one, as we discussed last week, refers to a recognition of our own depravity (our own sin & a realization that our “good” deeds cannot save us—that we need a Savior outside of ourselves—Jesus Christ).

We are blessed in this recognition because we are opened to receive God’s free gift of grace & reconciliation to God through Jesus Christ, allowing us to join the kingdom of God!

2. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

When we realize how wretched & helpless to save ourselves that we really are, it is natural to mourn & to feel grief over how we have mistreated God.

But God doesn’t leave us in that grief-stricken state. He offers us His comfort!

3. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5)

As we discussed last week, meek means strength/power under control versus timid/pushover. The implications being that instead of self-solving, self-soothing, & self-shielding… we learn to hand over the reins of how our life is lived to God. We give Him control instead of claiming it ourselves.

I also want to remind us that this is a lifelong process of learning to give more & more of ourselves to Him. Give yourself grace, fail forward, & ask for His help in doing it every step of the way!

(To catch more on each of the above three rungs of the ladder, read PART 1/3, here.)

And now that we’re all caught up, we move onto the next few rungs of this ladder:

4. Blessed Are Those Who Hunger & Thirst for Righteousness

“Blessed are those who hunger & thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.” (Matthew 5:6)

Once we realize our own depravity & need for Jesus Christ, mourn over our sin & wretchedness (& are comforted), & then submit the reins of our life to doing it God’s way… we begin to hunger & thirst for righteousness.

Basically, we get a taste for the goodness in God’s way of life & we want more.

We want to learn more about what pleases Him & honors Him & how He designed it to be. We want to cling to His way!

It doesn’t mean we’ll get it right all the time or even that we will always have the right attitude (I have to pray & ask God for help with a willingness to seek Him sometimes on days when rebelliousness is luring me every other way).

But it does mean that we hunger for it. We thirst for it. We want more of it in our lives!

We recognize that our way led to pain & dissatisfaction & emptiness & we want to be filled with Him in all areas of our lives, to feel complete, loved, filled, purposeful, secure, steady, & healed! Those are the things that come naturally in living a life lived for Him—even in the struggles!

And God promises that we will be blessed because we will be filled!

5. Blessed Are the Merciful

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” (Matthew 5:7)

Once we have seen God’s mercy & tasted the freedom, the healing, the filled joy that comes in it… naturally, we begin to see others in need of that same mercy & grace that we didn’t deserve either.

(NOTE: This one can be difficult for us (including me) when someone intentionally hurts us. It is definitely an area we should ask God for help with when we want to hold a grudge or a hurt. Trust Him with healing & a right perspective.)

So, being merciful means basically having a forgiving heart. It means recognizing that the other person is equally loved by the same God who loves us SO MUCH.

Be quick to forgive.

Because, when we are merciful to others, God says we will be blessed in also receiving mercy. So, let’s strive to live that way toward each other, shall we?

6. Blessed Are the Pure in Heart

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8)

Have you ever wondered how people seem to hear from God when they pray? Well, hopefully talking about this verse will shed some light into that.

When I looked up “pure in heart”, the definition that stood out to me was “undivided.” Basically implying that the more you turn the reins of your life over to God & the more that you crave to learn & live God’s way & the more you seek to extend the same mercy to others that you were given by God… the more your heart will become undivided in its focus to live completely for Him in all things & to look to & turn to Him through every situation or struggle or trial or pain.

He becomes our main focus in life—the way it was always intended to be, like walking together with Him in the Garden of Eden, except now with a broken-by-sin world (in which we need Him all the more).

Oh, how blessed this is… how irreplaceable… how indescribable!

An Undivided Heart Begins to See His Work & Love All Around Us!

You may be intimidated (as I was) over the wording of this “pure in heart” knowing how impure we are… & we may never perfect this in our lifetime, as we still battle with our flesh while on this earth—but as we seek to grow in being undivided, we begin to also recognize God’s voice.

Sometimes it’s a whisper across our heart when we are drenched in sadness, reminding us how loved we are & how capable He is to be our strength in the unrelenting storm.

Sometimes it’s an inner strength & courage (coming from outside ourselves aka the Holy Spirit) when we turn to Him in times of great fear or worry, knowing He can handle anything.

Sometimes it’s a whisper of a verse you memorized once, reminding you of God’s Truth in the midst of Satan’s guilt-saturated shame game that he tries to torment us with our past.

Seek Him in & for All Things

It’s an undivided focus that is grown out of a heart & mind & efforts devoted to God in how we seek Him through prayer & through reading/studying His Word, the Bible.

And when we live that way, we are blessed with seeing God work in the mess. We see His fingerprints in every situation, working it out for our good. We are comforted seeing Him at work all around us, even to the displayed splendor of His majesty in His ever-changing artwork of the sky. We SEE Him everywhere.

And we see Him in His love for those He loves—every person past, present, & future. Angelic facades & outward rebellion & everyone in between. He loves them all.

Shine HOPE

And, in preparation for next week’s grand finale of this life lived for God, that’s where we’ll leave it for this week!

Shine HOPE by realizing your need for Him, mourning your mistakes, being comforted by God, turning the reins of your life to Him, seeking to learn & live His way, being merciful to others as you have been shown mercy, & seek above all to have an undivided heart for God, through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice & the help of the Holy Spirit, through prayer & the study of God’s Word!!

 He’s got you, babe.

Coming Next Week

Next week is Part 3/3 of this topic! Woot!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Onyx Necklace

Modern hammered brass necklace features 3 genuine onyx drops.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty for families & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Framework to Live By

Today, I want to talk about a framework of a life lived for Him, given in Matthew 5:1-12, otherwise known as the “Sermon on the Mount” or the “Beatitudes.”

We will only get through the first three this week, so make sure to check back next week for more! Let’s start by reading that passage.

Matthew 5:1-12:

(Emphasis & Brackets mine)

¹¹ Blessed are you when they revile & persecute you, & say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. ¹² Rejoice & be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Clearing Up Some Personal Misconceptions

I always misunderstood this passage in two distinct ways:

1. I thought they were just a set of random sayings, in no particular order.
2. I thought they were meant as if, “It’s good if you… because….” Versus “When you…, you’re blessed because….”

But, in a recent study, I learned a helpful way to look at this passage. When looking at a Matthew 5 commentary on enduringword.com, I learned to see this passage as a ladder versus a random set of quotes. (See that commentary, here.)

So, let’s walk through this ladder idea together, to see what it looks like to surrender your life to Him, live your life for Him, & hope in Him for your eternity.

“Blessed Are the Poor in Spirit”

Being poor in spirit means to recognize that you sin & that you can’t save yourself… that no amount of goodness can out-good the bad. It is a recognition that you need Someone else to save you (AKA Jesus Christ). (See my personal story about finding hope, here.)

It’s easy to go through life, trying to convince yourself that you’re a “pretty good person” but if you were to lay down that charade to realize that God knows every stray or lingering thought as well as sees every action of yours public or private, how long can you maintain that you are a “pretty good person”?

Let’s face it. You need Someone to save you. I need Someone to save me. We ALL need Someone to save us.

And that Someone is & can only be Jesus Christ.

Being “poor in spirit” recognizes that you have sin in your life. And it recognizes your need for a Savior.

THAT, is the first rung of the ladder… the first step in submitting to God… realizing your need for Him.

And the benefit of coming to that realization & turning to Jesus Christ instead, is that you join the “kingdom of heaven.”

“Blessed Are Those Who Mourn”

I always read this through the lens of, “It’s good that you mourn, because you will be comforted,” & I always thought that was a silly thing to say because I would rather just NOT mourn!

But, consider it like this, “When you mourn, you are blessed, because you will be comforted.” Sounds much more appealing now!

So, why mourn?

Well, stepping up on the next rung of the ladder in a life submitted to living for Jesus Christ, once we recognize our sin’s existence & our need for a Savior to rescue & redeem us, we naturally mourn.

It sucks to recognize how awful & sin-stained we really are.

We like to see ourselves as pretty good people & we feel reassured in that bubble, but once it’s popped, we are left feeling raw & vulnerable & pretty darn crappy, am I right?

And so, we mourn our wretched state.

But in that admitting of our wretchedness, we are blessed because God promises that we will be comforted. He doesn’t leave us feeling sorry for ourselves because He has rescued us from our sin!

“Blessed Are the Meek”

And this will be where we leave off this week, to pick it up again next week for the rest of the ladder… but for now, let’s check this one out.

I always viewed meek as synonymous with timid or pushover. I was wrong about that, too.

Meekness is more indicative of POWER or STRENGTH, but under control.

In other words, maybe you CAN handle something your way & your timing, but you instead choose to hand the reins over to God, in His way & His timing.

It is a form of humility, taking your strengths, desires, plans, will, way, etc. & submitting it to God, asking for God to be the Author & Guide of your life.

This is hard & our human nature screams to retake control, but it takes time & a lot of trying & failing & a lot of asking for God’s help.

Re-Learning a New Normal in Meekness

Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re fighting God for control because we have grown up doing it a certain way without a second thought.

The place to start with having a meek heart is to ask God for help over & over again.

My Ever-Repeated Prayers–Asking for God’s Help in Giving the Reins of My Life to Him

“God, here I am again. I feel so strongly that I want everything my way, even though my way never quite works out the way it does in my head. I always second guess You, even though I know that You know EVERYTHING & are supremely wise. How am I so dense that I keep having this power struggle with You after so many lessons learned? Will I ever learn? Or is this a conversation I am going to need to have with You for the rest of my life? *sigh* …

… I need You, God. I need You in even just helping me have awareness … so when I try to grab the reins again, You gently let me know. Help me see when I do it. Help me to learn how to trust You more & more. I know You have proven Yourself more times than I can ever remember, but God, I am so stubborn! Help me grow & learn….

… Thank You for Your patience & kindness & gentleness. Thank You that You understand me & keep working with me, never giving up, even though I earned Your abandonment many times over. You still stay by my side & never give up. Thank You! Thank You that You are all-wise, all-knowing, & all-powerful & that I can count on You in everything always. Help me remember that when I fight You. Help me see Your goodness again & again. AMEN.”

Those prayers aren’t literally repeated-I don’t have them written down for me to re-pray them. There is no power in what words I use. The power rests in Who I am talking to-GOD.

So, just speak your heart to Him. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Ask for His help. He is listening.

Self-Reflection

Take some time to see if you have gone up these 3 ladder rungs yourself.

Even if you slip from time to time, just keep moving in the right direction, not letting Satan lie to you saying imperfect progress isn’t worth it, because it always is, every time.

Keep trying toward a life lived for God, God’s way. And keep asking for His help as you do it… because it’s hard fighting our temporal humanness for God’s eternal blessings, but His blessings are always far more worth it than temporary gains of us winning the power struggle against Him.

So, don’t just struggle… ask for God’s help every step of the way… & every ladder rung taken. He’s got you, girl. He’s got you, always.

Shine Hope by asking for God’s help to live for God, God’s way. He’s always worth it & always able.

Coming Next Week

Next week we continue working up the Beatitudes ladder, found in Matthew 5, so make sure to join me then!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Mirage Earrings

With just a touch of glimmer these earrings are fun and easy to wear.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to being sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. Through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for artisans & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Fear Pendulum Recap

We talked about fear on here recently, with how it often incites a fight or flight response, & in the case of this recent pandemic, is usually expressed with either buying copious amounts of toilet paper or sharing specific memes that express a complete disregard &/or carelessness for anything virus-related. (See that post, here.)

We also talked about how neither of those options work.

Of those responses to fear, it either leaves us crippled & crushed under an unsurmountable mountain of anxiety or the other response leaves us being disrespectful to those in harm’s way.

But the third option is putting our full trust in God. Letting Him quiet our hearts, by leaning into Him… While also respecting the fear of others & seeking to protect them from potential harm by seeking our confidence in Him over ourselves & our “wisdom.”

Another Type of Fear-Reverence, Respect, & Awe

But there is another type of fear I want to talk about today: Fear of God.

Some of you, in going through this pandemic, have been faced with this fear a little more directly than you may have admitted to yourself in the past.

It is something we should all possess, but not necessarily in the way you might understand it.

Perfectly Just & Perfectly Merciful

You see, God is both our perfect, unprejudiced Judge & our merciful, loving Redeemer.

As the perfect Judge, He has to maintain His law.

His law says that the punishment of sin (or rejecting His way & rebelling against His way) is death. This death leads to eternal separation from His love & every good thing, leaving us with only pain unimaginable & unyielding.

But, He is also our perfect, merciful Redeemer.

In this, knowing we could never perfectly uphold His law without fault, God sent His very Son, Jesus Christ, to die on our behalf, taking our sentencing upon Himself & rising again, victorious over both sin AND death, that anyone who turns from their way to put their hope & trust in Jesus instead of themselves, will be met with REDEMPTION to an eternity with NO pain or hurt or tears or sorrow, but only joy & goodness & love.

But, Fear GOD

So, in the Bible, we are told roughly 500 times (according to a quick Google search) to “FEAR GOD.”

One being, in Matthew 10:28 “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul & body in hell.” (Also in Luke 12:4-7.)

This could also be stated as, “And do not fear [this pandemic, which kills] the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” (edit mine)

Now, this is not a fire & brimstone message, so don’t worry… stick with me for the Good News….

Fear, Reverence, Awe

So, keeping in mind that God is both our Perfect Judge & Perfectly Merciful, what exactly does it mean to “fear God’?

Think of it in the terms offered by the original Greek “phobeisthe”: to fear, to be alarmed by, to revere, or to be in awe of.

God loves you so infinitely & perfectly & unconditionally that NO MATTER your past or present, HE PAID IN FULL your debt to Him, through Jesus taking your sentence by dying for you if you but put your faith in HIM. That is LOVE.

BUT, He also deserves our undying respect & honor & reverence & awe as our Almighty God… Our KING… Our Creator.

A Joy Eternal

In this time of uncertainty, fear, inconvenience, discomfort, worry, sickness, & death, let us remember that while it is true that this pandemic is wreaking havoc, it cannot have our souls.

We can rest in God’s ALMIGHTYness. We can rest in knowing that He has a plan for GOOD to come from this. And for those who have said “YES” to Him in accepting His FREE GIFT of redemption, we can rest in knowing that whether we lose to this virus or not, our eternal home is one of no tears, no pain, no suffering, no hurts, & no sorrow.

There is hope.

HOPE

(Emphasis in all verses in this post are mine.)

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure….” (Hebrews 6:19)

“Guide me in Your truth & teach me, for You are God my Savior, & my hope is in You all day long.” (Psalm 25:5)

“… put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love & with Him is full redemption.” (Psalm 130:7)

Fearing the LORD Is:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, & knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Proverbs 9:10)

“The fear of the Lord leads to life; then one rests content, untouched by trouble.” (Proverbs 19:23)

Sometimes, when God displays His great power, we are tempted to hide & run, knowing we are unworthy. But, when God displays His power, it is to remind us that He has everything covered. He is the GREAT I AM. He is Creator, KING of kings, Lord of lords, Almighty God!

He deserves our respect & our trusting obedience. And while it is easy to self-protect, self-soothe, or self-solve, we CAN TRUST HIM with our burdens, fears, worries, etc.

Crave the Display of His Power, For in It Lies Our Confidence

I don’t know about you, but having that perspective makes me crave the display of God’s great power rather than avoiding or fearing it. It is a reminder that He is SO MUCH BIGGER than me!

And so, in this terrifying & uncertain time that we live in, look to Him. Fear HIM—revere Him, respect Him, honor Him, be in awe of Him… rather than cowering or running away from Him.

Exodus 20:18-21

Choosing a Response

Will you “remain at a distance” as the Israelites responded?

Or will you approach where God is & trust Him over all else?

Don’t run from His power, but crave it & submit trustingly to it.

God is still God. He is greater than this pandemic. His plan spans eternity. He loves us infinitely & unconditionally. He is Almighty God.

Even if it has to start with an uncertain whisper of the heart (where I began & where this man in the Bible began): “Immediately the father of the child cried out [to Jesus] & said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

Shine Hope. Fear God, not the virus.

How will you respond?

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Manilla Bay Earrings

Local capiz shell is dyed a light blue/green hue and hand cut into half moon shapes accented with silver toned metal.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives! 

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

How Low Can You Go?

Have you ever gone through something really rough? Like test-your-faith rough?

Have you ever faced a pain that made you want to doubt God’s goodness? Or whether He cared about you or even saw you?

Have you ever felt like your life was defined by the hours you spent crying each day? Like the dark clouds seemed to never relent? Like your dark days could never get darker but always did?

I have.

Pain Is Real & We All Face It

I have been through depression & times of constant, high anxiety. I have had my heart shattered into seemingly millions of pieces. I have fought against the trailing effects of trauma. I have feared a deteriorating marriage. I have felt unworthy of having children because I wasn’t given any. I have faced betrayal by close friends. I have lived through devastating deserts of loneliness where no one seemed to understand or know how to help.

I have cried out to God & felt unheard.

Hindsight Guilt

When I have emerged on the other side of those treacherously painful valleys by God’s hand, I have looked back with shame for doubting God’s power & goodness & love for me.

I remembered the nights of crying, “Where ARE YOU???!”

All my life, I self-condemned for those moments where my faith slipped, letting Satan torment me with how unfaithful I really am in trusting God… with thoughts of how “terrible a Christian” I am for ever having those thoughts & worries & pain barrage my thought life & prayers–as if feeling pain meant I didn’t have enough faith.

A New Perspective

But lately, God has been shining a light on a new perspective.

In reading through the Psalms with a study group, I noticed that a vast majority of the Psalms were just like my prayers during those terribly painful moments of my life.

I noticed, too, how that theme of lamentation even flows through several books in the Bible in times of distress.

And finally, I started to see how human it is to feel these emotions & hurts.

An Important Distinction- Complaint Vs. Lament

You see, there is a very important difference between complaining & lamenting.

Complaining seeks support, but spreads the dissention & worry & heaviness among others who cannot improve the situation. It also implies there is no hope.

Lamenting to God seeks His support, focusing through the storms of life on HIS ability to help.

Complaining focuses on the source of the problem, while lamenting to God focuses on the Source of the Solution TO the problem-GOD.

Our Impossible Is, to Him, Always Possible

When we cry out to Him, no matter how impossible it may seem that He might be able to fix it, we are exercising our “mustard seed faith…” (Matthew 17:20) that even if we doubt how God can or will help us, we know deep down that if anyone CAN help us, it WILL be Him.

That’s the distinction.

When we complain, we spread & grow bitterness, not solving the problem nor seeking the One who can.

When we lament in prayers to Him, we are recognizing that whether or not we see a possible light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, that God is where our help will come from.

It Is Okay to be Human-That Is What You Are, After All

It is okay to fall apart. It is okay to feel the weight of your world crashing around you when something unimaginably hard crosses our path. We are only human & can only endure so much in our own strength.

It is okay to mourn. It is okay to struggle.

Where Does Your Hope Come From? My Hope Is in the Lord

But the key is where do you turn as your source of Hope & Help & Healing?

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God & not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed….” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)

It may seem to crush us under the weight of seeming impossibility, but God is a God of making the impossible possible.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.” (Psalm 121:1-2)

Cling to God in Distress & Tell Satan to Shut It

So, don’t let Satan riddle you with guilt & shame for feeling so beat up & crying out about it to God.

Instead, take your laments to God, pour out your honest heart (I promise He can handle your worst), & call out to Him in your distress, even if all you have to offer is your mustard seed-sized faith.

Not HOW MUCH Faith, But in WHOM You Have Faith

Remember, a mustard-seed-sized faith can move a mountain… In other words, it seems impossible, & you feel you have so little faith in it ever even BEING possible, but it’s the WHO you have faith in versus the HOW MUCH faith you have that makes the impossible POSSIBLE.

So, cry out to Him. Lay it all on Him, even when you feel you have nothing left to offer.

And if Satan tries to guilt you for feeling hopeless when you are crying out to God for hope, tell him to get out & leave you alone. Because God hears you. He doesn’t expect you to clean up the mess that you are first. He doesn’t expect you to understand all His ways. He just asks you to trust HIM in the mess.

Weakness Invites Us to See All God Can Do in Light of Our Inability

Looking back & reading through the Psalms, I am reminded that it is only human to feel overwhelmed by what we cannot control or ease, but that we are invited to come to God, pour it all out to Him, & seek His help.

God can do GREAT things with your very little.

Shine HOPE by trusting the WHO behind your faith, not the HOW MUCH faith.

He’s GOT you. He is able & He is willing.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement.

As God grows me, may it encourage you to seek Him & know Him & love Him more every day.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Manilla Bay Earrings

Local capiz shell is dyed a light blue/green hue and hand cut into half moon shapes accented with silver toned metal.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

If… Then…

I have heard it asked, more times than I can count, that “if God allows people to go to Hell, how can He be a good God?”

They also tend to follow that question with: “If God isn’t good, I don’t want to follow Him.”

The above declaration is also often preceded with God allowing the presence of evil in this world, so let’s address both concerns today.

Who Are We Compared to Him?

First of all, let’s get the “If God doesn’t [fill in the blank], then I don’t want to follow or believe in Him” claim out of the way.

If God IS real & He DID create the world & everything in it. If God DOES have complete control, power & dominion over it all… I would think our opinion of His deserving our respect should not matter so much. In fact, to risk being blunt, our opinion would be completely irrelevant.

He doesn’t have to get our stamp of approval for Him to be real & for His righteous punishment for the rebellion of sin to be real.

He Is “I Am”

And reality check, He IS real, He DID create the world & everything in it. And He DOES have complete control, power, & dominion over it all.

I feel that it’s important to start there because we are not dealing with a Someone whom we can shape to our liking or decide whether or not they are real or deserving… That’s not up for debate.

The consequences are real.

But so is His grace.

How Is God Good?

So, let’s get to the “God is Good” part, in light of sin & the consequences of that sin (Hell) as a reality we must accept.

So maybe you decide God could possibly be real. Maybe you feel that little tug on your heart, beckoning you to accept His grace & be welcomed into His haven of love & comfort & hope, even on earth.

But maybe you’re stuck on sin… & on Hell.

Maybe you question God’s goodness & therefore doubt whether you can put your faith & trust into Someone you feel afraid of or defensive of in light of what you believe about yourself or the world.

Completely understandable. I have BEEN there.

Even after I got saved, I grappled with this for a while.

It’s scary.

But…

Digging Deeper

God IS Good, & so let us dig a bit deeper than the surface.

Oftentimes, we hate this idea about God because we either see our own good intentions or the good intentions of others, when thinking about our sin.

Or maybe we feel haunted by a decision we made or something we did & now we feel trapped under the wrath of God, afraid to accept it as a reality rather than an imagined construct that we can just dismiss & figuratively run away from (or try to).

But God’s wrath is real.

BUT, His grace is just as real & it covers your worst when you bow it all to Him.

We Choose to Choose

You see, if you caught my blog post a couple weeks ago, “Garden of Eden: What Was So Wrong About Eating That Fruit?” then you know that we were never intended to be in this mess of a world & life in the first place.

God’s intent was for us to stroll with Him in the perfect Garden of Eden without fears or worry, pain or strife, living in a trusting relationship with our Father God in control of everything in this world that would otherwise cause us lasting &/or immense pain.

But Adam & Eve rebelled, wanting to make those calls for themselves, thus dooming us with that same knowledge of good & evil, brought on by eating that fruit.

And not only that, but we choose to eat of that fruit every day, don’t we?–in the way that we live, choosing to supersede God’s will & way so that we can do it our own way (& inevitably screw something or someone up).

We Have the Knowledge, But Not the Infinite Wisdom

You see, we have the knowledge of good & evil, yes, but we DON’T have the capacity to see every ripple effect of every choice. We DON’T have full wisdom to see all pieces in play past, present, & future. We DON’T always know all the details involved or the subconscious trauma that our decisions cause ourselves & others simply by essentially shoving God out of the way to run things ourselves.

Even as a Christian, I am guilty of living like this, despite my intent, every single day.

It’s too easy to go based on habit, cultural norm, how I was raised, my own perceptions, my self-protection mode, good intentions, pride, fear, insecurities, doubts, uncertainties, etc., before stopping to realize I have done it again—I have acted without stopping to ask God for guidance on how to do it best.

No One Good But God

You see, we mess up every day.

No one can call themselves Good. Even Jesus said, “there is no one good, no not one” (paraphrase Romans 3:10-12) & that our “righteousness is like dirty rags.” (Isaiah 64:6)

Only God is good because He is perfection. He is lacking nothing.

He doesn’t make mistakes. He doesn’t act out of fear or hate or pride.

He just IS. He is the great I AM.

All God Asks…

And all God asks of us is to trust Him to do the hard stuff, to protect us from the painful things, & to guide us in the way that will bring us & others the most joy, fulfillment, & peace.

But we still rebel.

God Also Made a Way Back for Us

And THEN, we have the audacity to shake our fists at God for sin on this earth… for not allowing entrance into heaven for those who do not accept His grace offered through Jesus Christ.

Because He offers that grace to EVERYONE, without exception.

God Makes All Things New

Paul murdered countless Christians, BUT when he surrendered his wrongs to God, God restored him & gave him a new purpose (his originally designed purpose) to encourage countless more to find hope in Christ.

David was called a man after God’s own heart when he repented of his own guilt & shame of sleeping with another man’s wife & then sending that man to the frontlines so that her pregnancy would not be found out. But God redeemed him & used his life for wonderful things, washing his slate clean.

You see, the people written about in the Bible aren’t even “good” people.

They are REDEEMED people. Redeemed through the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ, for even them.

And for you.

He Gives Hope Despite What We Really Deserve

THAT is why we can easily call God our GOOD God, because despite the fact that the perfect life of trust & peace & joy in Him, that He intended for us to have was spit upon by Adam & Even eating that fruit… And EVEN THOUGH we make that same decision daily by bypassing His help to do it our own way… & even though we have pasts that make us cringe in the sight of God’s righteous judgment upon our sin….

God… Offers… GRACE.

HE made the way. He paid the price. He invites us back to Himself. He bridged the gap. He beckons us home.

Run to Grace

He forgives. He guides. He loves. He protects. He listens. He gives Himself as a Comforter through the Holy Spirit. He gives HIS grace to all who seek it, through Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf.

Don’t live defending your wrongs, in the sight of God Almighty. Run to Him.

Don’t live running from His righteous judgement. Run TO Him.

Don’t be content avoiding God in fear. Run to Him.

He Gives Grace & His Grace Is FREE

He is beside you, waiting with open arms to welcome you home.

No questions asked… No lecture awaiting your return… No crossed arms or glaring gaze.

Just GRACE.

Celebratory dancing & singing, twirling around with joy, hands reached out to pull you into a loving, joyous embrace, an “I’m just so glad you’re HOME!” type GRACE.

Let Him…

Let Him love you.

Let Him shower you with His goodness.

Ask Him to show you, personally, His love & forgiveness & hope & GRACE.

It is so, SO worth it, my friend!

Always Learning, Always Growing

Even I have to constantly grow & learn new ways to submit my ways to Him, so that I can experience His presence & goodness more thoroughly in my life.

I will forever need to grow, but His grace is once & for all.

I am forgiven. I am set free. I can look forward to heaven with full assurance that the grace of God covers even me.

And it covers you as well.

Will you answer the call?

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST for more weekly encouragement!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nairobi Necklace

Small hammered ovals & ethically sourced bone shapes adorn this golden necklace that shimmers in the light. Crafted in Kenya.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, & become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Kenya!

(*Also Pictured: Grace Earrings, made in the Philippines!*)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Why Is This So Hard for Me?

This one is a toughy, for sure. I would dare say it is tough even for ministry professions—Work first or God first?

Why is this so tough?

Because our roles & responsibilities demand our attention, whether or not we even believe in or acknowledge God.

Working Hard “for God” Is Not the Same As Putting God First

So, why should we & how can we possibly put God first then? And I am not talking about just praying at mealtime & making church attendance a priority… how do we place Him above everything else in our lives?

Even the retelling in the Bible about Mary & her sister Martha. Martha was working hard to be a good hostess to JESUS. How much more important of work could there be?

And yet, her sister, Mary, was praised for her decision to skip the work & rest at Jesus’ feet, absorbing His teaching & friendship.

The story of Mary & Martha is a prime example of why this is a difficult balance even for ministry workers. We can tend to try to “do all the things” “for God” while not actually making HIM come first in our lives.

Isn’t It Just “One More Thing” To Do?

But even for us “regular” people, how can we consider putting anything above work when work doesn’t ever stop?

Kids (& spouses/relationships) demand attention & care.

Work has deadlines & demands.

Bodies demand sustenance & hygiene.

Home requires chores & upkeep.

So, how can we possibly consider putting God before all of that? How can that even be an expectation? How are we expected to make time for anything else?

Short Answer? God.

Well, here’s the relief… God helps us.

Hear me out. When we put Him first, He helps us fit the other pieces together.

He sees every piece of our lives. He sees the things that need more time & those that need to be let go. He has the power to help run our lives more efficiently & peacefully than we could ever hope to imagine through our own efforts.

We tend to think, even subconsciously, “If I have tried everything under the sun & nothing has worked, there is certainly nothing GOD can do for me!” Wrong.

Consider this fact: God does not exhaust His resources… EVER.

He Is Infinite & Willing to Help

I heard it said, while I was attending Liberty University (my alma mater-woohoo!), that “no matter how or what words you use to describe God, you are ALWAYS putting Him in a box.”

He is INFINITE. God thinks & operates outside of our understanding & abilities. His ways are above our ways… His thoughts above our thoughts.

So, if we ask for His help, it doesn’t diminish Him at all when He helps us.

Why Wait Until It All Crashes Down?

So often we wait until our life is falling apart at the seams before we cry out to Him for help (see pretty much every story in the Bible & every story of my life!), but He wants His help to be a daily, continual blessing in our lives.

He wants that relationship with us. He wants to carry our burdens, to give us strength & wisdom & peace & power to live in a way that honors Him & I dare say, blesses us.

Not Easy, But Oh So Much Better!

This doesn’t mean that life will suddenly be easy & we will get everything we want… reality check, we live in a broken world & we don’t always know what is best for ourselves anyway. On this side of heaven, life will NEVER be perfect… but God can & WILL help as we seek to live for Him.

So, when we put anything else before Him, we are attempting to lift the car-strain of life while Someone stronger than Superman waits by to help if we but ask.

It’s embarrassing to admit how often I “look up at Him standing beside me” & shout, “No, I got this! I don’t need Your help yet… I just have to try it this way next time!” Sigh.

He Enjoys Helping Us

God first, ALWAYS. Not because we feel like God will condemn us & point fingers at & shame us if we don’t (He doesn’t do that)… but because we greatly handicap our life if we don’t.

It’s like insisting we drag our bodies through life when a wheelchair is right alongside us.

It’s like dying of thirst while someone beside us is constantly offering us a drink, or starving while they offer food.

It’s like working in our own strength while He offers us His. (Actually, that’s EXACTLY what we’re doing!)

“Darling One, Lean Into Me”

When God asks us to obey Him, He doesn’t say, “Go ahead & add it to the list, honey,” but rather, “Darling one, lean into me & I will give you the strength, ability, patience, & power to do all that I ask… & the wisdom & peace to know what to let go of.”

He is like having a Personal Assistant who also happens to be the Owner & Creator of the company. He not only made us & rules everything, but He also offers to walk alongside us & help us along the way.

Such a GRACIOUS & LOVING God!!!

Let God Be First Priority

So, if you are feeling exhausted & ready to just give up or to run away from it all, I urge you to stop where you are… close your eyes… breathe deeply in & out… & pray to ask God for His wisdom, His direction, His patience, His peace, His power, & His strength, to live according to His will & His way.

It is 100% ALWAYS the best option. ALWAYS. 100%. (Did I emphasize that enough? I know I will probably need this reminder AGAIN by the end of the day… Anyone else?)

He is able, Darling One & He is waiting with open arms to help ease the burden & set you on the right path that will not only lean into your purpose, but will also be for your good.

He knows you best. He knows what He’s doing. He knows everything.

Rest in that.

Let Him run your life His way, in His direction, with & through His power.

But How?

How do you put God first, then? Realistically? Daily? Moment-by moment?

A lot of it is PRAYER. Talking to God. Asking for His insight, wisdom, & help throughout each & every day.

A lot of it is TRUST. Taking the trust away from yourself & putting it with God. His way, His wisdom, His strength, His patience, His courage, His love, His understanding, His knowledge, His sovereignty.

Put God first by stepping aside & letting God work His will in your life, through His power.

Let go of the need for control & the hamster wheel of life & trust HIM to know what He’s doing with your life instead & do whatever it takes to let Him be the boss & to let Him call the shots for your life.

He’s worth it. Every time.

God First… Anything else… Second.

Shine Hope, Lovely… by leaning into Him, resting in Him, & letting Him lead your life for His purposes, in/through His strength.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST for some more encouragement from one imperfect gal to another & “Join My Tribe” (subscribe), so you never miss a thing!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Artisans recreate the look & feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & tumble it with water & sand from the Red Sea until it is smooth & resembles the beautiful pieces found in nature. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & seen drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

(*Also pictured: Truth Earrings from the Philippines! & my kitty Cisco-not for sale, haha.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Saying All the Right Things

Growing up in a Christian home, I learned early how to speak faith, but it wasn’t until much later that I realized I didn’t really live like I believed what I was saying.

Have you ever felt that way?

It’s easy to repeat back what has been poured into us, but it’s a little more challenging to stop & put into practice those truths that we take for granted knowing all our lives.

Head Knowledge Vs. Taking Action

I can know with a head knowledge, the things of the Bible, but until I start asking God how I can live like they are true, I will not really benefit from knowing the truths I know.

You see, God’s Word is not meant to be used for us to just sound righteous… It is meant to show us how to LIVE righteously.

And to be clear, we are not meant to just do all of the “right” things, but to trust God & His Word so much that we are willing to live a life obedient to His Word.

Not with Eyeservice

God mentions this sort of thing in the Bible where it says, “not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.”

God doesn’t ask us to just look like good people on the outside.

He also doesn’t ask us to try to be good on our own, but as an outpouring of His goodness in our lives. We have to be actively trusting Him for Him to teach us & guide us in righteousness.

Not Natural, But Possible!

This of course does not come naturally to us. From birth, we feel the need to look out for ourselves & have life revolve around our needs. We may even feel cheated if life does not go our way. And sometimes we even feel panicked when life is out of our perceived control (hint, it’s never really in our control!)

Surrendering to God’s way is definitely not the easy way, but it is the best way.

The Best Way

And I don’t say this as a, “look what a great Christian I am to say that we should obviously believe God’s way is the best!” I am not even saying that because I always trust in it immediately above my own will/way.

No, I am saying His way is the best way because it simply is, whether we believe it or not.

I may not always understand it or want to obey it, but God is God & I am not.

His ways are higher than mine.

He Sees It ALL

We see the world in such a limited view, but He sees the vastness of time from beginning to end, how every piece fits together.

He sees the consequences of every mistaken or selfish choice & the ripples it creates.

He KNOWS.

I may THINK I know, but He KNOWS.

And because He knows, He knows that His way is best, whether we see it or not.

I Surrender All… One Piece at a Time

And the more of our life that we choose to surrender to His way, the more we see the benefits of trusting His way above our own.

One benefit of being a Christian is the opportunity to know God & to believe what He says.

But as I said, this isn’t a natural or instantaneous result of knowing Christ.

It comes with practice.

Every piece of our life that we choose to lay before His feet, exchanging our way for His, our eyes are opened to the beauty of His truth.

Don’t Just Talk the Talk, Learn to Trust & Live It

You see, it’s easy to talk like we believe & rehash things we learn, but until we start laying down our hearts & lives to doing & living out the truth of God’s Word, we will never see the benefits that come from trusting Him.

He doesn’t just want robots who blindly do whatever He says because He is God.

He doesn’t want slaves living a life of misery & subjection to Him as a harsh ruler.

He doesn’t aim to guilt or shame us into serving Him.

Rather, He calls us to a life of trust & action through His love for us. His fervent, lavish, never-ending love for us.

To Know & Love God MORE

Beth Moore stated in her study, “Breaking Free,” that one of the most life-changing things she has ever prayed regularly was that God help her to know & love Him more.

This is my prayer for us today, that we ask Him to teach us how to know & love Him more.

He doesn’t just want you to submit your life to Him because He has that right as King over all, but because you trust His love for you. You can obey because you can trust that His love for you is pure & His ways are good.

God IS love. It is not stated just as WHAT God does, to love us, but as a definition of WHO He is. He IS love.

That is how we can willingly surrender our all to Him & His ways, because we can trust His deep love for us.

Let His Love Wash Over Everything Else

So, take a moment to pause right now. Close your eyes. Take several slow, deep breaths in & out. And ask Him to teach you how to know & love Him more. Ask Him to help you see & trust His lavish love for you.

The more you know God, the more you will see His love for you, which will make your love for Him grow. And the more your love for Him grows, the more you will want to know Him.

Ask Him

Ask Him to help you to trust Him & to therefore obey Him out of your love for Him, because He first loved you.

If you don’t know how to live out your faith or how to live the commands that God asks in His Word, start by asking God to help you know & love Him more, because the more you know Him, the more you will love Him, leading to a willingness to give your all to His love.

Let His love rule your hearts & minds as you learn to trust & obey His truth.

Shine Hope. Live for His love. PRAY.

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning EST for some more encouragement. Love you!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Northern Lights Studs

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India & Haiti!

These studs hold labradorite stone, displaying multiple captivating colors that vary in different exposures to light, just like the Northern Lights themselves. Flash-plated posts.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant & these women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education and healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured: Jubilee Necklace & Jubilee Bracelet Set from Haiti!)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Sometimes…

Sometimes, life isn’t so pretty. Sometimes, insecurities win. Sometimes, we let our desire to be good outweigh the good that God is actually calling us to do.

Whatever distractions are holding you back personally, my biggest one is doubt.

I always doubt whether my actions are led by a desire to feel or seem good, or whether they are actually led by God’s will.

Am I living to glorify myself or to glorify God?

Am I living to please man or to please God?

Am I living by my wisdom or God’s?

It is so hard to navigate some of these feelings & sometimes it makes us want to just quit & hide away in comfort. (At least, that’s how it makes me feel).

And Today…

Today, I struggled yet again with these doubts.

I don’t know all the answers. I don’t know whether God will empower me to continue this blog or to shut it down to go wherever else He may be calling me, but until I figure that out, I will keep seeking God’s direction & I will keep seeking to honor Him.

Letting My Heart Show

The following prayer resulted from brain fog. Every week seems like a battle of the will to show up & write a blog & I am constantly doubting whether it is God’s will or whether I am just trying to feel like I am doing good. (Or whether Satan is just trying to keep me from shining any light of hope into this world).

Please pray this openly & ask God to show you His will for Your life. Don’t settle for hiding. Don’t settle for less. Don’t let excuses rule your day. God is bigger. God is able.

My Prayer

“Dear God,

I am not worthy to write this blog. Why did this come in my path? Are you asking me to do this, or is it my way to not feel like I am wasting my life? I say I want to serve You, but does my life really display that as reality? Or am I just wanting to feel good about myself?

I don’t think I can do this blog. I don’t want to do this blog. I don’t feel like I have anything worthy to say that could do any real good in anyone’s life.

Is this Your way of telling me to quit the blog or is Satan trying to dim Your light in my life? It is easy for me to believe the latter because this seems like something that would honor You, but at the same time, I have so distanced myself from You over my years of bitterness that I don’t know if I can always accurately discern Your voice anymore.

I wonder sometimes if I should give up working with Trades of Hope, too, because I have failed so miserably in representing them & in supporting my team. I wonder sometimes if I should quit my Facebook page community because I am so scattered & not always professional & others seem to not even be interested in it. I want to quit this blog because I wonder what good I could realistically do for You.

I feel like a failure at everything I try to do for You. Does this mean You don’t want me doing it? Or are You trying to teach me to rely on You instead of myself?

Show me what You want from me. Make Your voice clear amidst the insecurities & fears & facing the unknown. Show me what YOU want from me.

I know that oftentimes, we like to jump to do good & claim that it’s Your will when You might have a completely different plan for us that we’re avoiding because we think we have already figured things out for You.

I don’t want that. I want YOUR will. I want to shine YOUR light. Not mine.

I feel so conflicted that I just want to slam my laptop shut & never try blogging again.

I want to quit Trades of Hope & blogging & doing LIVE videos & all of it.

I don’t want to feel this conflict anymore. It was easier when I did nothing.

I want to sit on the couch & try to tune out the hurts in the world. I want to stay in pjs & watch tv & try not to care. I want so badly to be comfortable!

But then it isn’t any easier when I do nothing because I feel the pain of seeing a hurting world pass me by & then knowing I am doing nothing to make it any better.

I am a mess. I don’t deserve to be used by You. I don’t deserve for anyone to listen to me.

I have scars & a past & insecurities & weaknesses & areas of intense pride & I struggle being gracious to the flaws of others & I constantly choose comfort over You or the people of this world that You love so much who are hurting so much.

I don’t deserve to be a part of anything You are doing in this world.

I just want to be used by You & I don’t know how.

I don’t know how, God. Please show me Your will.

I don’t want to just do things that make me feel good about myself. I want to do Your will. I want to follow Your call. I want to join in where You are already working.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

Whether I quit this blog or whether You ask me to continue writing & continue allowing myself to be vulnerable for all the world to judge. Shine through it. Even if you ask me to do something harder than this. Your will. Not mine.

I am tired of making excuses & hiding from what I don’t yet know or understand.

Be the Light & shine a path for me.

Use me how You will, God. Make me Your vessel. Shine through my brokenness. Make me Your ambassador.

Show me Your will.

I am tired of trying to force goodness. I am tired of fighting against my excuses. I am tired of trying to be strong on my own. I am tired of being dragged down by the idol of Comfort. I am tired of living for me. I am tired of fighting You.

True strength & power & wisdom & peace & GOODNESS comes from You ALONE. Help me to stop trying to create it on my own, in my own strength. Help me to submit & to draw near to You.

Whatever is holding me back from Your will, remove it. Wherever I am hiding away, expose it with Your Truth. Wash me. Cleanse me. Renew my heart & mind & draw me back to Yourself.

I want to know You. I want to serve You out of LOVE & devotion. I want others to know Your love through how I live & how I love others. I want to be self-disciplined & productive in Your kingdom. I want to serve others by expressing Your love for them. I want a real faith defined by real action. I want to know & love You more.

Don’t give up on me.

In Jesus’ Powerful Name,

Amen.”

The Truth

The Truth? I don’t have it all together. Satan tries to discourage me. But when that happens, I have a choice. I can either choose to give up & stay where I’m at… forever… OR, I can take those fears, those doubts, those insecurities, & everything else that tries to hold me back to GOD. Because that’s when the real change can happen. That’s where the power is. Don’t give up… Give it to God.

Shine Hope, Lovelies. And don’t you ever give up.

Coming Up

This Thursday is time for our Special Feature blog post for this month! Check back Thursday morning for Part 2 of “A Love Story”! To catch up with Part 1 before Thursday, read it here.

Also, as always, check back next Monday morning for more encouragement.

I am praying that this reaches the women it was meant for. God sees you, Lovely.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Warrior Cuff

Empowering Women in India Out of Poverty!

This brass gold, hammered, stacked cuff opens in the back.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Empire Earrings, made by artisans in India.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Feeling the Weight

Have you ever felt broken, like you didn’t deserve a second chance?

Have you ever felt the grip of guilt or shame not loosen its grip?

Have you ever cried over past mistakes & felt broken inside?

Have you ever felt beyond repair?

Me too.

Looking Back

I have never been perfect, although I tried to believe I could be, or at least make others believe that I was.

Growing up in a Christian home, going to church a couple or few times a week, I felt the pressure to be good, even though I was not.

I felt like a fraud, pretending my way through church services.

I felt ashamed to admit the truth, guessing that my family would probably have a heart attack if they knew the real me—the imperfect me. The rebellious, stubborn, prideful me.

The doubting me….

Doubts Washed Away

I had so many doubts about faith when I was growing up. Church claimed that God was the one true God, but the world claimed other gods, each defending their own religions.

I didn’t want to doubt. But I did.

If you have read my story of “Hope is Found”, you will know what happened next…. You will see how God washed my torturous doubts away like a cool summer rain. He set me free to live at peace with Him.

I know Who the real God is, whether I always like how He does things or not—He is God either way & He knows best, whether I understand in the moment or not.

Turning Away

But again, this is a new day, with new lessons to learn.

Brokenness. Guilt. Shame. Past mistakes. “Beyond repair”.

You would think that after everything that God has taught me & everything He has brought me through, I would be courageous & bold & unwavering in my faith & pursuit to honor God.

You would think.

But, here I am.

Israelites = ME

The older I get, the more I seem to relate to the Israelites in the Bible.

The Israelites were God’s chosen people & God demonstrated His love & grace & power & forgiveness & PATIENCE through His relationship with the Israelite people throughout the Bible.

Basically, their relationship went like this…

God would make them promises, saying all they had to do was trust Him wholeheartedly & follow His will & way. They would worship & praise & follow & obey. Then pride. Then hard-heartedness. Then rebellion. Then captivity. Then cries for redemption….

And then God would save them in a powerful way… & then the cycle would start again.

In our well-meaning, naïve (*Coughproudcough) way, we tend to scoff from the sidelines & shout at the Israelites as we read of their rebellions springing up yet again, “What is wrong with you guys! God JUST miraculously saved you after the awful way you have CONTINUOUSLY been treating Him & have been spitting in His face… only to have you reject Him AGAIN??? What is wrong with you?!?”

Haha.

How highly we like to think of ourselves, at times… am I right?

I am just the same as the Israelites, there is no way around it. If not worse than them….

The Results of Rebellion

I feel grieved. Some days, I just feel so empty & self-loathing. I cry, remembering my rebellion.

I feel broken.

I feel empty.

I feel like a fraud.

I feel like giving up in trying to be or claiming to be anything else.

But.

God’s grace.

His mercy.

His patience & forgiveness & faithfulness & steadfastness.

He Doesn’t Shame Us, He Sets Us Free

As much as I continually am beating myself up lately, feeling completely unworthy of yet another opportunity to be forgiven & renewed, the fact remains… He is faithful & He forgives me.

As many of you have heard, I had lived in an ocean of bitterness for the past many years.

Bitterness at praying for a child, going through doctor appointments, being told it would happen any day, receiving gifts from friends for the inevitable day that never came, living alone, feeling like if I only had a baby to love & to love me, I wouldn’t feel so alone. And feeling hurt & betrayed by God when it never happened.

Bitterness at feeling the loss of my husband’s love that was never really gone, but perceived to be as we literally fought through our first year and a half of marriage, feeling betrayed by the loss of his companionship & feeling betrayed by God for bringing me to the other side of the planet, only to feel abandoned & neglected by Jamie’s demanding work schedule & inevitable resulting high stress levels.

Bitterness at being so eager to plug into local churches, only to find out there was little I could do. Bitterness at pouring my heart & soul into encouraging others, only to find out they didn’t need it as much as I did.

Bitterness at myself for never being skinny or pretty enough & bitterness for believing that lie.

I Woke Up

And then the wake-up call came & I started crawling, wounded, untrusting, back to God.

I claimed to know to pray & let Him be God, but I still felt hurt & hesitant to let Him in my heart. He had heard my prayers & my cries & my inward screams & He had not changed my circumstances.

I blamed Him instead of trusting Him.

Has that ever been you?

And now, seeing Him forgive me & feeling Him work on changing my attitude & renewing my faith… I just feel shame & guilt & hesitation.

Humility Rains Down

I am as the Israelites.

God has blessed me through more heartache & trials & doubts than I can name. He has guided me & tenderly loved my heart toward Himself in powerful ways I could not ignore.

He gave me great promise & potential.

I got proud. I grew hard-hearted. I rebelled.

And now I cry out to Him. Undeserving, broken, scarred.

Believing the Lie That Shame Trumps Grace

I struggle the most right now with accepting His open arms.

It’s almost like I want to punish myself for being unfaithful & for turning my back on Him.

His grace hurts because it is so contrast to the way I have treated Him.

It makes me see my unfaithfulness to Him more clearly. I can’t hide from my part in pushing Him away.

Beauty from Ashes

But at the same time, it’s so beautiful.

It is so beautiful to come back to giving my faith to Him… to come home to Him & to realize that He is running out to greet me like I never crushed His heart to begin with.

It is humbling. It crushes me some days as I punish myself, (without Him asking me to).

He wants me to lay all of my shame down at His feet. All of my guilt & shame & scars at His feet, knowing I don’t have to carry them anymore… because His grace covers those.

But I grip on to them, afraid of getting away with it & then doing it all over again.

But as you can see, that is another form of not trusting Him, right? Not trusting that He is able to renew me & teach & guide me.

I don’t deserve the grace He so willingly offers to me. Not again. I knew better. But yet, He offers it to me all the same.

Letting the Walls Come Down

I am slowly trusting Him with prayer again. I am slowly opening my heart & accepting the role I played in distrusting His sovereignty & endless love for me (for all of us). I am slowly taking those badges of dishonor & handing them over to Him to let Him heal those broken parts.

I am good at defending myself, even my wrongs. I am good at self-denial. I am good at pretending I don’t know better, when rebellion knocks at the door.

But God is breaking through those lies I told to myself. The lies that said I was good as is. The lies that justified my wrong behavior. He is showing my a clear picture of myself in the mirror.

And I don’t like it.

Working to Rebuild

He is not doing this to shame me, but quite the opposite. I can feel Him peeling away all of the layers I built to defend myself, telling me, “I see you, Michelle. I REALLY see you. And I still love you. I REALLY love you!”

Not the me I try to be, in proving I can be good enough. No. The me that can never be “good enough”, but is so deeply loved just the same.

And He feels the same about you. He sees your scars & your coverups & your denial… And He REALLY loves you… for who you are behind all of the masks that we use to hide ourselves.

When I rebelled, the truth remains that God never left. He never betrayed or broke me. I did that.

If I Had Never Left & Even Now

He offered me hope in my disappointment, comfort in my longing, & friendship in my loneliness… But I rejected it & spat in His face because it wasn’t how I thought it should be. How I thought I wanted it to be.

It is possible to be held captive by what you were once set free from….

But the other side is just as true… It is always possible to be redeemed by what holds you captive.

A Clean Slate. A Renewed Heart & Faith

God doesn’t keep track. He doesn’t tick away at how many times He will rescue you from yourself before giving up on you. He will never give up on you. He knows we are like the Israelites, prone to wander & rebel. And He loves us anyway!

He is also loving & forgiving & patient & kind & powerful & sovereign & faithful.

If you come to Him with a repentant heart, wanting to throw away the broken, sinful, ashamed, selfish, rebellious you & exchange it for all that He offers… He is always willing & waiting with open arms.

Run To Him

So, run back, Lovely.

No matter how far you feel you have run from Him. No matter how lost you feel you are. No matter how far gone or broken or torn down you feel. RUN BACK TO HIS OPEN ARMS.

He is waiting to welcome you home… Every time… No matter what… I promise.

So. Run. Back. Home.

And leave those awful pits of guilt at His throne. Trust His grace to be more powerful than your shame.

And let Him set you free.

Let Him.

Coming Next Week

Join me next week for the next topic of encouragement! Please pray that God continue to heal my heart & to keep me steadfast in seeking Him as I seek to encourage all of you to run to Him with all you are.

He loves you.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Bombolulu Earrings

Empowering Women in Kenya Out of Poverty!

These hammered earrings are made from heavy-gauged metal.

Artisan Information:

In Kenya, where many people struggle with starvation & poverty, the women we partner with are defying the odds! Your purchase empowers these women to earn an income, overcome physical disabilities, and become important parts of their communities!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Kenya!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

Sounds Good to Me…

We all like to think of ourselves as good people, don’t we?

Except for those low days that we may feel self-loathing, we generally feel like we are pretty good.

At least I do.

Maybe it’s because we help others who are hurting. Maybe we give money to people in need. Maybe we are generally pretty kind with others. Maybe we’re good at forgiving others. Maybe a million other things that are good things in & of themselves… But do they make US good?

I Like to Think of Myself

I like to think about my good qualities, & ignore my bad qualities. Weaknesses are a different thing altogether—I can acknowledge those pretty easily—but “badness” or evil or sin? Nope… I like to justify those into oblivion.

Are you with me on that? Do you also try to excuse your own bad behavior? Bad thoughts? Bad past (or present)?

Sometimes we are too busy comparing the bad with the good, feeling the latter outweighs the former.

Sometimes we are too busy comparing our badness with someone else’s whose is “worse.”

Sometimes we are just plain ignorant.

Sometimes we are too busy justifying our own actions to see there actually was a better alternative.

We all have our own personal ways of covering up the less appealing sides of ourselves.

The Pressure to “Be Good”

We sometimes feel pressure from others who expect better or seem better than we are, & we fake a façade to fit in or be liked.

But count on this… that evil is there.

I grew up in a Christian home & was taught from a young age all of the right things to say & all the right things to do. I was pretty much taught how to ACT good. But on the inside, I was just like anyone else. Rotten.

Growing up, knowing I knew all of the “right” things to do & say, I began believing that I was a pretty good person, compared to the world, at least.

I grew accustomed to subconsciously conducting a goodness check on myself, realizing that I at least wasn’t doing “that.”

But all of that was a lie I used to make me feel good about myself… justified… deserving of the grace God had given me.

HA.

Anyone else fool yourselves into thinking such things?

We Can’t Earn It, Sista!

Like we could ever earn the grace of God?

God tells us in the Bible that there is none who is good, no not one—[including myself—Michelle Hyde].

He tells us that our righteousness is like dirty rags.

He tells us it is by Grace that we are saved, through faith, so that no one may boast.

You see, when we believe we are generally good people, we are lying to ourselves. Flat out lying.

The Missing Piece

We are also depriving ourselves when we tell ourselves these lies.

How are we depriving ourselves? Because we are placing the weight of our redemption on the measure of our own goodness—continually falling short, of course.

There is freedom in recognizing our evil condition. There is freedom in realizing our complete depravity.

There is freedom in recognizing our lack of goodness because instead of trying furiously to maintain the right to grace, we can fall on our face before God & fully accept His free gift, knowing His love is so great that even though we don’t even come close to deserving it—He still offers it to us, even knowing us better than we know ourselves.

A Rocky Road with Zero Marshmallows

I have mentioned before that God has been taking me down a path of learning, to learn to rely on Him more than I rely on myself.

It’s been hard. (Hard is a huge understatement, by the way—imagine instead, me crumpled on the floor in tears some days).

It’s been hard because He has been revealing my own depravity to me. And that’s never fun. He has slowly been revealing my inward, hidden & excused-away SIN.

It’s a comfort to us, to feel like we somehow deserve the grace God offers us & to feel like we can somewhat control each situation on our own, without His help or guidance… But when God takes that lie away, it’s not so fun–trust me.

He has let me wallow in it at times, merely to show me that it’s not my own goodness or strength or wisdom that gives me victory over it—it’s His alone.

On My Own is Not Where I Want to Be

If He left me to myself… I would be just as capable of doing the worst things as anyone else… Things that would ruin me.

I am naturally a sinful person. We all are.

I like to look out for myself first. I like to think I’m great. I like to hope everyone believes I am so, so good.

But the reality is? I am just as depraved as the “worst” of us. And I am just as undeserving as the “worst” of us.

We All Need It

God is revealing to me my inward struggle. He is letting me see the shameful temptations & the awful, selfish attitudes that live in me. He is letting me see the NEED I have for HIS GRACE.

The even more beautiful truth behind this self-revelation is how wrong it is for me to gauge how deserving certain people are of God’s grace compared to others.

I don’t do this consciously, mind you—I am not a heartless, uncaring person—but it’s a natural thing to see certain sins or wrongs & wonder if they could ever submit to the grace of God–or maybe they just deserve it less than others.

But God…

But God does the saving, not us (Thank God!!!), & His redemption & grace covers everything, without discrimination of our past (Again, THANK GOD!).

Take Saul, in the Bible, for instance. He murdered Christians. A LOT of Christians. He was infamous for it & just his name alone could scare people to the core.

But God spoke to Saul, humbled him, & changed the course of history through his life. God gave him a new name—Paul–& Paul became one of the absolute most influential ambassadors of hope to the world.

God Does the Changing in Us

God changes people.

Let me say that again, in case you missed it… GOD. CHANGES. PEOPLE.

Not us. Not our goodness. Not our efforts. GOD’s. HIM, ONLY.

All we are asked to do is to take our sorry state of depravity, bow before His HOLY throne, & pour it all out at His feet.

We don’t have to become perfect first. We don’t have to prove our goodness or worth. We don’t have to offer sacrifices & earn our way into grace….

He Sees Us… All of Us… And He Loves Us

He looks at us. He sees our depravity. He sees the helpless attempts to hide our sin. He has compassion on us. He reaches out His hand & draws us to Himself. He changes us. He saves us. Him.

You see, He created us. He gave us free will to choose Him or reject Him. He never wanted to force us against our will to love or obey Him—that wouldn’t be love. But He knew before He created us, that this would create opportunity for sin—a rejecting of His ways for ours. He knew the hurt this would cause. He knew that we wouldn’t be able to fully ever wash ourselves from that sin & depravity to enter again into His HOLY presence. He knew all of that before He created us.

He knew that we would need a Savior. He knew He would have to send His Son, Jesus, to cover what we could not, in order to pull us back into His HOLY presence.

And guess what? He still created us. He watched us fall. He watched us try & fail at redeeming ourselves. And He sent Jesus to save all who would come asking.

We are lost without Him… Every single one of us.

God is Enough

We have shame.

We have guilt.

We have stains we cannot wash away.

We have hurts.

We have scars.

We have a “ME” we hide away.

But God is enough.

God is enough.

God is ENOUGH to wash it all away.

So, come to Him.

Lay it all before Him.

And let HIM be the Goodness & Redemption that your hungry heart craves.

Lay It All Down

We may be REALLY good at hiding our sin & our depravity—even to ourselves.

But God sees it. He sees it all.

And still He holds out His hand to us, an open invitation for Grace & Redemption. To become His beloved children. To be freed from the chains of our sin & shame. To live in His LOVE.

So, Lovely, take a moment to consider your own depravity.

You don’t have to cover it or hide it, because God already sees it & loves you anyway.

Just come to Him with it all.

Say something like, “God, I can’t. I just can’t. I try so hard to convince myself & others that I am so good, but we both know it’s a lie. I am so selfish, so proud, so undeserving. Please forgive me for my wrong attitudes, my wrong thoughts, my wrong choices, & the wrongs I have done to others whom you also love. Please forgive me. Change me. Help me become the woman you created me to be. Help me see the me You intended me to be. Wash me clean. Change me. Shape me. Forgive me. Be my Lord, my Savior, my Father, my HOLY GOD. Amen!”

That’s all we have to do to receive God’s grace. Lay it all before Him & allow Him to work in & change you into His beautiful vision of you. The old you washed away. The new you just beginning.

God Doesn’t Discriminate

God doesn’t discriminate based on “severity of sin” but rather loves us all indiscriminately.

So, come to Him, depravity & all, & let Him be the change you seek.

Let Him have the GLORY, forever & ever, AMEN.

Shine His Light of HOPE to the world, Lovely—SHINE HOPE.

Coming Next Week

To be honest with you… I don’t know.

I had a plan, but God seems to be washing that away, whether to show me that I need to lean on Him, or whether He has a different plan than I do, I don’t know. But I had nothing to say today, other than a prayer that God would use me as a vessel of hope somehow in the blankness of my mind today, & this is what came of it.

Stay tuned & pray for me. Pray that I don’t hide away from the hard lessons I need to learn. Pray that I don’t put on a façade of perfection, but rather bare my soul & weaknesses to the world, so that others may see His HOPE & not me.

Love you, Lovely!

A Note from Michelle:

If you want to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” & “Hope is Found” pages, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Willow Necklace

Representing Women Artisans in Haiti!

Wear this hand-rolled clay and paper bead piece as a double strand necklace or detach one strand for a matching bracelet. Accented with micro paper beads.

Artisan Information:

Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who had to give them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children with them! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in Haiti!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!