God Will Continue to Work

Well, we’re nearing the end of my pivotal moments series (for now). I know God will continue to shape me & continue to shake up my normal for His truth.

Trusting God AND Ourselves… Versus Just God

Today, we are following last week’s topic about trusting God through our struggles instead of coming up with our own solutions that, in turn, create new problems. (Like trusting in singleness & then panicking when God brings a relationship into your damaged heart life.)

It’s far too easy to try trusting God AND our own solution, versus JUST trusting GOD.

We tend to think the two are the same thing. Saying to ourselves & others, “I prayed (therefore, “trusting God”), but then I will do what I think will fix it versus waiting for His solution.”

So, it warrants a discussion about praying our way through fears, & trusting God, when we’re tempted to rely on our own strategy, “wisdom,” fears, etc.

(To read our Love Story, in short story form, check them out by clicking Part 1 & Part 2.)

But How?

But how does God answer our prayers? What does “trusting God only” even mean? How do we know what He wants when it’s different than what we want? How do you hear God’s answers? How do you even know His will if you can’t HEAR Him?

Those types of questions are so common & I have thought ALL of them. I still don’t have a comprehensive understanding of how God works & will probably always have something to learn when it comes to the answers to those questions.

But God oftentimes (pretty much exclusively) leads us with baby steps, versus dumping all of His infinite knowledge on us all at once.

Remember, He is an INFINITE God.

We, on the contrary, are FINITE.

But, baby steps.

So, when my now husband, Jamie, entered my life, I first panicked, then prayed.

Unbeknownst to Me

But unbeknownst to me, Jamie was already praying… & not about wanting a relationship with me.

He was ALSO praying to avoid another heartache.

But God kept nudging him… to me.

He kept avoiding… kept praying to stay single… but God would not let him ignore me.

It wasn’t a push to get married, just an undeniable push to befriend me.

This obviously clashed with my desire to avoid him at all costs, haha. Thanks, God.

And when I could no longer avoid him, upon him asking me on our first date, I finally had to stop running & start praying.

Praying My Desire Versus Praying to Trust God’s Plan

Now, let’s be clear that I HAD been praying the whole time… but not for God’s will, wisdom, & direction… but for me to stay single (what I thought I wanted aka what I thought would keep me safest from heartbreak).

And now, I had to make a clear decision & I had to ask God’s will & guidance & HELP. I had to be willing to trust God with both scenarios of relationship or singlehood, not just singlehood.

My Prayer

But then God whispered on my heart, “Do you remember what you have been praying these last few years?”

I did. It went something like, “God, help me to trust Your plan & not just the fears or perceptions I see in front of me. Help me to see that if I marry, you are wanting me to marry a man that will grow into the man I need, versus someone perfectly fit right now. Help me to see Your will above my own. Help me to not judge someone based on their NOW, versus Your potential within them. If I marry, Lord, help it be someone who is willing to let me down in order to follow YOUR LEAD. Because You know far better what’s best for me than I do. And, Lord, because I will no longer flirt or “help things along”, I will go on at least ONE date with a man willing to ask me out when I have shown zero interest… knowing how much courage that takes. Amen.”

Well, now a guy was asking me out & I had to put my faith to the test.

I had prayed those things more than I could count. And now was my opportunity to trust God’s answer & His willingness to lead me every step.

And He did.

(But I still freaked out & panicked & wanted to bail along the way, because fear is quite a motivator.)

Ask Anyway…

But for those of you who have those questions of how God could even help… & so avoid asking God for help in those moments, wondering what God could possibly do that you haven’t already tried yourself (sounds arrogant & completely ridiculous just writing it, doesn’t it?… but isn’t that what we sort of feel, if we’re completely honest with ourselves?)… I want to share my journey & what God did for me in the midst of my questions.

My pastor friend told me many times while dating my now husband, “God is not a God of confusion. If you want answers & you seek Him for those answers, He WILL answer you… you just need to wait on God’s timing for those answers & trust that HE is capable.”

Waiting on God for Every Step, Like a Daughter Dancing on Her Father’s Feet

And so, despite my inner rebel telling me to flee the scene & not risk another heartbreak, I kept praying & I took those baby steps, waiting on God’s timing & God’s answers instead of trusting my own fear & worry.

Here are some ways I prayed & ways that God answered me along the way:

(HINT: God is an infinite God. What He guides me through is not a cut & paste testimony, but rather an EXAMPLE of how personal God is with us, when we let Him. Don’t rely on how God led ME in lieu of letting Him lead YOU. What worked for me may not work for you. You have to take steps of trusting Him with your own situation. He will guide you!)

1. Praying Before We Even Met

As I mentioned before, it’s important to be praying beforehand so you are prepared to follow & listen to God when you DO meet. Pray for discernment, peace, wisdom, trust to follow God whether in singleness or marriage… & anything else that comes to mind or worries you.

But, if you’re already in a relationship, it’s never too late to start.

2. Pray, Willing to Give It Up If It’s Not God’s Guiding

Along the way, I prayed for God to guide me… for Him to kick me out of the dating relationship, with completely clear certainty, if it wasn’t His best for us. (I was sort of hoping He would kick me out of it so the risk of heartbreak would evaporate with it.)

I prayed not to cling, not to romanticize, not to make anything more than it was. I prayed for God’s perspective to overshadow my own. I prayed to be willing to allow His will to trump mine.

3. Praying for Perspective When You Meet

I knew I was a daydreamer, wrapped up in every new possibility….

And I felt God nudging my heart in a very specific way during the beginning of my time with Jamie, “Michelle, you fall head over heels immediately when a guy holds your hand & holds you in long, comforting hugs… & if you really want to stay objective to knowing My will, you know you need to avoid physical affection because that’s a personal weakness & trigger for you.”

And so, I set strict physical contact boundaries for our dating relationship. No hugs, no kisses, no holding hands, no arms around the shoulder… & no sex. And I stuck to it.

I wanted to know Jamie for who he was, not for how he made me feel. Feelings change. I wanted more than temporary, unreliable feelings.

4. Praying Over Character/Personality & Whether It Was a Good Match with How God Designed Me

Clashes happen a lot in marriage, even when you’re “a good fit for each other.”

God had shown me different character traits that were important to me along the way, such as being willing to displease me in order to obey God… Or someone who was a kind & gentle listener, seeking to understand & discuss, versus brush off… Someone who, even with flaws & weaknesses, sought to know & love God more… not to just be a “good enough person.”

I prayed often over very specific things, asking God to show me if Jamie at least had that potential &/or willingness to grow… WITHOUT me prompting it… (& that is an important distinction)! If he knew I felt I needed certain traits & he liked me, don’t you think he would do his best to be that for me? But no, I wanted to hear it from God, not Jamie… so I never once hinted at my hopes.

My prayers were silent, between me & God only.

And every prayer resulted in Jamie telling me something like this the next day or so, “I don’t know why, because this seems really random to talk about, but I feel like telling you this story about one time when [enter a story about said character trait that I had recently prayed about here] happened.”

Blew my mind every time, but God was constantly finding ways to reaffirm His guidance in our relationship, because I was diligently seeking His will first.

5. I Set Boundaries of Potential Relationship Timing & PRAYED

After pouring out my heart to Jamie, after our very first date, expressing all of my fears & concerns, I asked him to wait THREE months before even considering asking to make it an official relationship. Friends only–no relationship talk, no romance, nothing. Just friends–for three MONTHS.

And I prayed & asked God for His wisdom & guidance & timing & I didn’t even dare try to “help it along” … I just waited on God.

Coupling with my desire to be with a man willing to disappoint me in order to obey God’s leading, I asked God to have Jamie go against my three-month request in order to ONLY trust God, even at the risk of scaring me away for good. I asked for God to push Jamie to ask me before the end of three WEEKS’ time.

And I didn’t ONCE even HINT that I was praying that as a confirmation from God. Not once.

And guess what… On December 31^st, mere hours before the three week time frame was over, Jamie spoke up… “Michelle, I have been praying like you asked me to, for God’s will & timing versus my feelings & I got my answer a couple days ago, but have continued praying & continued waiting because you told me not to even bring it up until three months, but I can’t shake the feeling that I am supposed to tell you now. I have been battling it all day & praying it away because I am terrified of scaring you away, but I feel like God wants me to say it now, so I need to say it now. I feel like God wants me to ask you out today. Will you agree to an official relationship? Will you be my girlfriend?”

If you are imagining a cartoon where the person’s jaw literally hits the floor, you are imagining pretty closely to how I felt in that exact moment.

I prayed. I waited. God answered.

God Is Infinite… God Is Infinitely Creative… God ANSWERS

As I said before, God is infinite & infinitely creative. The way He works through my life is not the same as how He will choose to move, through prayer, in your own life.

This story is meant to prompt you to PRAY… to seek God alone… To trust that HE knows what He’s doing & He CAN & WILL guide you & give you wisdom as you seek Him.

Trust Him, always… It’s ALWAYS worth it.

And when you don’t feel like you even know how to begin trusting Him… Start there… Ask Him to help you know how to trust Him. He will, my friend. He will.

Shine HOPE, by praying through the fears & unknowns (which are often the same thing).

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Brave Necklace

With hand-rolled cereal box beads, Haitian clay beads, and paired with suede tan cording, this staple necklace is perfect for any wardrobe.

Artisan Information:

Haiti is home to almost 500,000 orphans. The majority of these orphans have not been orphaned by parental deaths, but by parents who gave them up simply because they could not afford to feed them. No mother should have to give up her child. Through your purchase, you provide parents with a sustainable income, so they can keep their children! Be a part of families stepping into bright futures together!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Haiti!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

We Have a Love/Hate Relationship

So, if you follow me on Social Media, you will know that blogging & I have a love/hate relationship.

I love the results of growth, encouraging others toward hope, & giving God the glory.

I also love getting to share my heart & talk about what I am passionate about in hopes that it sparks hope, encouragement, & inspiration in the hearts of my readers.

BUT, the logistics of editing is… well… not my best friend. I tend to drag my feet for hours after I write out my post, not wanting to do the tedious part of actually making it look good & ready to post.

My Growth = Your Reward

So, I thought I would share some tips that I have learned along the way, in hopes that it will be a source of information, encouragement, & inspiration for you.

Even if you don’t plan to blog, some of the lessons I have learned can be applied to other areas of life, so don’t run away quite yet!

Let’s get the party started!

Tip 1: Pray through the Details

Just as in life, when blogging, it’s important to pray through the details.

Yes, it’s easy to say, ‘I will just pray in general over the blog (or life) in hopes that it turns out okay’… but it’s important to pray specifics.

“Lord, help my blog (life) to glorify you today. Help give me the words You want me to say so that it points people back to You, not me.”

“Lord, help give me the topic you want me to share or talk about… help me to feel peace when editing & please help clear my mind so I can do this post justice with the edits… help me to be gracious with myself over my mistakes… help me to be encouraging to others as I write today….”

Be specific! God is listening & waiting to offer help throughout your day & life. It is crazy how many VERBS in the Bible are proceeded by “God…”

We give ourselves & others so much credit (& pressure!) because the physical actions & audible words are what we see & hear… but God is the One doing the hard lifting!

A blog post I shared a couple months ago talks about this–“Unless the Lord Builds It, I Labor in Vain”. (Check it out, here!) It’s based on the short 5-verse chapter of Psalm 127, talking about God’s role in our efforts. Remember that perspective when you start to look outward or inward for your source! Look up & pray!

Tip 2: Keep It Simple

(*Extra Tip: You can pray & ask God to help you find more ways that you are overcomplicating if you find something becoming a strain! He can give you wisdom on ways to simplify that I haven’t even discovered yet!)

A. Need a selfie for a teaser post for your upcoming LIVE video, but you struggle to have your life together early enough to be dressed & ready to go in time to post it? (This might be a personal example, haha.) Then use a selfie you took earlier in the week & then just recreate that look when it’s time to film later on! Bam! Easy button pushed!

B. Struggle finding the right lighting for photos or videos? Order a clip-on Selfie Light that clips onto your cell phone. Bam! Instant good lighting, no matter the weather or lightbulb outage situation! (Who else puts off changing light bulbs until several are out to save time? I might do this… Haha.)

C. Struggle making graphics? Download Canva or similar FREE programs & use presets… then, just modify! Choose a couple fonts & a few colors that complement each other well & just switch them around & add a new photo for a fresh look each time. Easy peasy!

Tip 3: Brand Yourself

Back when I first started learning how to set up a website, I did a whole post on the importance & benefit of branding yourself, (even if you don’t own a business or blog!). (If you want to go more in-depth into branding, check that post out, here.)

To cut it short for this post, since I went in depth on the post mentioned above, branding oneself is not just for social media influencers & entrepreneurs. Absolutely EVERYONE can benefit from it!

How? Because the foundation of branding yourself is knowing what you stand for & presenting it in a way that others can relate to & understand you.

Who doesn’t want that?

Choosing colors & fonts that represent your personality well… Choosing how you want to be presented to others & learning how to communicate that is valuable!

Tip 4: Be Consistent

People want to know they can count on you!

This doesn’t mean you can’t allow yourself a sick day, mistake, or a chance to back off when life throws you a curveball—I didn’t do any LIVE videos when I went back to Virginia to visit family, although I did maintain my blog deadlines that I set for myself.

It’s okay to take breaks & to ask for graciousness to be extended to you, but consistency in most of life is key.

If you can’t follow through on a commitment, give people a head’s up as soon as possible.

Some people may ignore you (even unintentionally) at first, but if you present yourself as a consistent presence, it starts to get noticed more frequently & is taken more seriously. Give yourself grace. Give yourself time. Just keep showing up! You never know who is listening & benefiting from your efforts, even when they keep quiet about it.

Positive feedback & accolades feel great, but shouldn’t be depended on to keep going. Pray for perspective & the will to keep pushing forward to do what God has called you to, even when compliments are nonexistent.

Even if you don’t see results, God has a plan.

Tip 5: Be Kind to Others… & Yourself

It’s easy to be passionate, but don’t let your passion keep you from compassion.

When sharing your story, keep in mind that unless God Himself spoke it, it is your perspective. God sees the whole picture; we just see what we have personally learned or experienced.

Also, we have all had personal experiences that are quite different from others around us, so realize that others are looking at your story through the lens of their past.

Learn to be gracious in your own mistakes & the mistakes of others. No one is perfect & we’re not meant to be… & that’s okay!

Learn to lean into God through your weaknesses, instead of beating yourself up. Ask Him to strengthen you in those areas & to help bring growth.

And when we’re tempted to share the weaknesses or mistakes of others, give grace & stop & pray. Ask God to help you have a right perspective & to be gracious, even if we don’t feel like it. We can’t unsay something hurtful, & the ripple effect will most likely spread beyond our ability to repair. So always pray & ask God for help you through times of difficulty with others!

Tip 6: Be Authentic. Be YOU.

Aside from reminding you to pray that 1-God gets the glory & 2-that He guide you along the process… this is my #1 tip!

It’s easy to push the narrative you think people will want to hear from you or to post or share stuff you think people will like, but don’t lose yourself along the way.

God made you specifically you for a reason-silly quirks & all. Don’t try to be someone else FOR someone else.

Ask God to show you who He created you to be & ask His help to stay true to His design & plan for your life. His opinion is the one that matters most, because He knows where you were meant to fit & who you were meant to influence.

In trying to reach everyone, we lose most everyone because no one is quite sure who we actually are & we don’t seem to know either. This goes back to branding yourself & knowing who YOU is.

So, don’t worry about trying to impress people. Just share your story & ask God to help give you the words & ask Him to help you give Him the glory—That’s what truly counts!

The Quick Recap

I hope that even if you don’t blog, or if you are considering blogging, these tips are a big help to you! We all have a learning curve when trying something new, so it’s always great when we can pick up tips that we don’t have to struggle through learning ourselves, am I right?

As a recap: Pray through the details, Keep it simple, Brand yourself, Be consistent, Be kind to others & yourself, & Be authentic, be YOU!

I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week lovely, & always aim to shine HOPE, through leaning into God for wisdom, courage, peace, perspective, & strength! He’s got you!

Coming Next Week

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Special Feature post, shared every last Thursday of the month!

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more regularly scheduled encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Grace Earrings

These earrings feature gold plated metal around local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security,& unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchases, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs! This allows these women to realize their potential and pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!