The Complexities of Wanting Love

“Love”, oh what a wonderful topic to think about….

Or maybe it just seems elusive to you, a wish you wish for, but you feel is an impossible reality.

Or maybe yet, you have been hurt by love & either fear it or just feel jaded by it.

Well, all of the above describe how I once felt about LOVE.

Cue the Meet Cute

And then, I met someone who helped me open my heart to all of the beauty & joy & adventure of love… & no, I’m not talking about my husband (I didn’t know him yet).

And no, I am also not talking about God.

I am talking about a guy I met soon after high school.

This is not a typical love story though, because while I felt I had met the boy of my dreams, we never had a happily ever after.

Afraid of Love

I grew up with an unhealthy fear of long-term relationships.

I assumed they all fail… that one side would inevitably lose interest or feel trapped in the relationship… that some fights or disagreements would end up being unsolvable… that rifts form & that lusting after others through porn, flirtation, or adultery would always happen eventually.

I assumed I was too difficult to be loved… not pretty enough…  too emotional… too much of a mess… too insecure… too much of a talker… too unlovable… & that eventually, any guy who married me would figure that all out & want out.

In other words, I assumed it was only a matter of time before my heart was crushed, if I gave my heart to love someone.

Because of this, I was afraid to love. I was afraid to get attached.

I prayed over relationships, wanting so badly for love to be a possible reality for me.

Oh, What a Feeling!

And then I met him… a guy who opened my heart.

I felt so in love. I cherished every long phone conversation & was elated at every chance to spend even a few moments with him.

I shared my heart, my deepest fears & hurts… & he did the same.

He was kind & caring & took care of me. He was a wonderful friend.

I wanted so badly to love him forever & to finally break free of the fear. I wanted to marry him.

I wanted to believe he could really love me forever.

And I am sure he would have.

I trusted him & cared for him more than I ever believed I could care about someone.

But I broke his heart.

I Thought I Knew

I was ready to go all in… to trust him with my heart & to start talking about marriage.

I was ready to follow him anywhere & leave my fears behind.

I was ready to beat the odds with the man I loved so much.

I wanted to marry him more than I had ever wanted anything.

But I broke his heart.

I kept praying about our relationship.

“God, please let me marry him! I love him so much! I trust him & care about him, even at his worst. He is so kind & so good to me. I can tell him anything & know that he cares for me. Please let me feel peace to push through the fear & marry him. I want to spend my life with him. He means so much to me. Please, please, please!”

But every time I sought God’s peace & blessing to spend my life with this wonderful friend, I felt a brick wall.

“Just Keep Praying,” I Thought… “Maybe God Will Change His Mind”

I couldn’t move past the feeling of unrest, an obvious, unsettled lack of peace in my heart.

So, I kept praying through the weeks & months we were together, unwilling to let go of the man I loved so much based on a current lack of peace.

I assumed the peace would come eventually, if I just held on & kept praying.

But it never came.

The dread started seeping in, as I realized that I didn’t feel God was ever going to be giving His blessing–His blessing, based on His omniscient, all-wise, over-all perspective.

But, God.…! Pleeeaase!

I hurt so many nights after a day well spend with the man I loved so much. I grieved the potential break up I felt God was edging me toward.

I felt as if God was gently trying to pry my fingers off of what I was clinging to so tightly… my desire to spend my life with the man I loved.

And I didn’t want to let Him.

I wanted to beg Him to change His mind.

I didn’t understand why God would let me love someone so much & not let me be with him. It felt so unfair.

No Matter the Reason, Yet I Will Trust Him

I knew this man didn’t trust in God, but I thought that could change as he got to know Him through our relationship.

I could feel my heart compromising my faith as I sought to be agreeable to the man I loved. But I thought I could overcome that.

But no matter God’s reasons, He was making it clear that my love & I were not the best match for each other, in some ways that I couldn’t even see myself.

And so, after many tears, much rebellious stalling (hoping to never have to leave him… hoping God would change His mind if I waited just a week longer), after seeing that God did not budge in allowing me peace to continue my relationship that I wanted so badly… I broke the heart of the man I loved.

Crushed… Shattered… Yet Not Hopeless

I knew he wouldn’t understand that I had gotten my answer from prayer, because he didn’t believe in God.

I didn’t want to explain why I had to do it, because I wanted him to trust God & not hate him.

And so, I let my love hate me instead.

And it crushed me… shattered me.

Collateral Damage

To make matters worse, I also leaned into a great friend for support, only to end up crushing his heart as well, when my love returned & I left my friend behind, not knowing his care for me was more romantic than friendship.

And when my love had returned, I was sure this time God would say yes this time around. But He didn’t… & I had to crush his heart & mine a second time.

I lost two people I cared for SO MUCH within a short time.

Not only did I have to walk away from someone I cared so strongly for, but I let him believe I didn’t love him as much as I did, in order to protect his potential future trust in God, the only One who could ever love him the way that he really needed.

Crawling Out from the Wreckage… Finding Hope

This heartbreak haunted me for about 5 years. I would check his Facebook once or twice a year just to relieve myself that he was happy & healthy & loved. I would cry when a movie reminded me of him (like Becoming Jane or Fever Pitch). I would wish that someday, God would bring us back together again… until he married someone else.

I have prayed for him consistently since then, that he would feel loved & cared for… that God would reach his heart & give him a kind of freedom & joy & peace like he’s never known. That God would guide him as a husband & father…. That he would come to Jesus & find lasting, sure hope.

I know now the story God had planned for me was my wonderful husband, Jamie, who loves me in a way that grows me as a human being & encourages me to lean into God with each trial, hurt, or obstacle. I know that God knew what He was doing because my husband & are so complementary in how we support each other. I wouldn’t trade my husband for the world!

But I didn’t know then.

I just had to blindly trust that if God was not going to give me peace, He had a reason.

God Always Knows… God Always Has a Plan… And He Loves Us Unconditionally

I lost someone I loved & I grieved for several years as if he had died, but God had a different plan for our lives & I know now that God knew what He was doing all along.

God always knows.

I know our hearts can be convincing, but God sees our full past, present, & future, with every facet & nuance & hidden trauma. He knows our God-given gifting & the plans He has built into our lives & our purpose.

He always knows best.

My love was real, but God knew better than me.

And I am so glad that I trusted God above my love for the man I loved so much.

Thankful I Listened

I will never stop praying for that man because of how much he once meant to me, but I know 100% that God had a better plan for the both of us & I am so thankful that I listened to God’s nudging on my heart to let go & trust God instead of my heart.

Always trust God before emotions, desires, & dreams… He always knows best.

He knows YOU best & He knows what is best for YOU. Trust Him first, always.

Shine hope, by bowing your will to His way & trusting Him with every step, every desire, every hurt, & every love. God’s got you.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning, EST, for more encouragement, & to follow along on my journey through the major pivotal moments that helped shape my faith & helped me trust God more & more.

Share with friends & Subscribe by Joining My Tribe, so you never miss a week!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Holly Necklace

Co-Founder Holly’s passion is to empower women to be all God created them to be & to live out their potential. Whether in the brothels of Asia to hometown USA, her desire is to see women live out their calling with pride & dignity. This piece is a reflection of the pride & skills a woman rescued from the brothels has when given the opportunity. A delicate piece, this golden/pink druzy necklace sparkles in the light.

Artisan Information:

In Asia, poverty leads many women to be sexually exploited in brothels. These women want to provide for their families but have so few options. But through your purchase, women are being rescued from these brothels & rehabilitated. Holistic care is given to these women, including a shelter, job training, healthcare, counseling, & educational grants for themselves & their children. You can help these women experience restoration for their future!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Asia!

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

It’s My Way or The Highway

It’s easy to go through life on our own terms.

We naturally go through life the best way we know how. We live according to what seems right to us.

We understand we aren’t perfect, but we do our best.

Sometimes we beat ourselves up when we don’t get it right… Sometimes we blame others… & still other times, we blame circumstances.

But we inevitably determine to get back up & try again in the way that seems best to us.

Suck It Up, Buttercup… Or Not

Life is hard. No one can go through life without struggle, without mistakes, without regrets.

Although we can brush it all off with a, “I have no regrets, only lessons learned!”… Deep down, we know things could have gone better, but they didn’t.

Have you ever felt trapped by wrong choices? Like they define you in some way now?

Have you ever bolstered yourself to be strong & bold in light of your mistakes, eager &/or desperate not to show weakness or vulnerability, while silently feeling the pain underneath the façade?

Do you ever get tired of trying to have it all together?

I do.

Survival of the Fittest

I don’t know where we ever got the idea that we have to have it all together. Maybe it’s instinctual not to show weakness or vulnerability. Maybe it’s stubborn pride, not wanting to admit defeat.

Whatever it is, it’s hard.

God is slowly teaching me how often I do what seems right in my own eyes, versus humbly bowing my actions, decisions, & feelings under His able care.

He’s Right There All Along

You see, we often wait until we’re falling apart to cry out to God for help, when He has been right alongside us the whole time.

We don’t have to have it all together. We don’t have to have all the answers or always get it right.

We are limited in our understanding, wisdom, strength… But He is not.

Doing What Is Right in Our Own Eyes

In studying through Psalm 107 recently, with a Bible Study called Steadfast Love, by Lauren Chandler, I was reminded over & over through that particular chapter how those people started out doing what was right in their own eyes way before they started openly rebelling.

Coincidence? I think not.

Why? Because when we go through life on auto-pilot, just doing what we think is best, we will inevitably not get it all right because we cannot ever see every facet of every particular circumstance.

We Want Him to Make OUR Plan Work

And the more times we mess up, the more difficult our lives get… & the more difficult our lives get, the more we wonder why God isn’t fixing it & wondering where He is in all of it….

And the more we doubt God, the more we feel slighted by God… & the more we feel slighted or neglected by God, the more we tend to rebel against God.

… Even though He was right there all along, offering His help along the way….

Instead of asking God to help us follow HIS WAY, we often only ask for Him to make OUR way work.

Learning to Trust Our Savior

But when we flip the script to NOT do what is right in our own eyes, but instead ask for Him to guide us in HIS way of doing things, we get to see HIM work miracles. We get to see His hand guiding & shaping & upholding & strengthening us along every step of the way.

And as we live, drawing constantly from His wisdom, His way, His strength, His power, His love… we see things fit into place much more nicely & we grow in trust when things don’t go well because of the sin of others around us. We get to rest in His ability to uphold & strengthen us with His peace.

And we’re much less likely to rebel when we are receiving His life flowing through our lives. The Vine to His branches.

We’re Meant to Live by His Design

You see, we’re not meant to live life in a way that seems right to us… We’re meant to ask our Designer, Creator God what HIS design for our lives is meant to be & to do our best to lean into Him as He guides the way on the greatest adventure of our lives.

We weren’t meant to just be born, survive, & then die.

We were meant for a purpose… to change lives… to love others intentionally… to shine hope into the darkness… to be an impactful force for good… to serve the Most High God, Creator of heaven & earth & Lover of our souls.

Baby Steps… Pray & Ask

If you are like me & you struggle to release the tight grip of the reins of your life, struggling to trust that God can do a better job with your life than you can… start by being honest with God in that fear.

Put a toe into the water. Ask God to help give you the courage to dive in. Ask Him to help you trust Him with the little things. Ask Him to help you have the wisdom & humility to seek His way above your own. Ask Him to have His potential of your life fleshed out through seeking Him. Ask Him to help you to know & love Him more EACH DAY. Ask Him to help you TRUST HIM.

I will tell you with all honesty that those prayers have been the most influential, life-changing, purpose-enlightening, peace-churning questions I have ever asked in my entire life.

He’s Got This… & You

He knows what He’s doing. He’s walking alongside you, waiting for you to plug into Him as the vine, so His life & wisdom & peace & love & grace & strength can flow through you & produce fruit that also nourishes those around you.

Will you connect to the Vine?

He is waiting to nourish you. He loves you too much to let you be content with an empty, tiresom façade.

He loves you.

Shine Hope, by plugging into Him as your source of hope!

Coming Soon

Check back on Thursday for our monthly Special Feature post, shared every last Thursday of the month! Will it be a poem? A short story? Tales of our adventures overseas? Come back Thursday to check!

Also, join me every Monday morning for your next post of encouragement as we learn together how to give our all to our God who gives His all for us.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Truth Earrings

These incredibly light earrings are made with genuine local capiz shell.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

(*Also Pictured: Sea Glass Necklace made in Jordan!*)

SHOP Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

A Painful, But Beautiful Reminder

“Unless the Lord builds the house,
    those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
    the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early
    & go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
    for He gives to His beloved sleep.”

(Psalm 127:1-2) (emphasis mine)

It’s beautiful because God’s got it all under control… It’s painful because we do not.

I Don’t Run Things, No Matter How Hard I Try

I can try to be good.

I can try to do good things.

But God is in control, not me.

If I rely on myself, I get nowhere.

Even if I seem to go somewhere, it yields little results.

Or sometimes my actions create the wrong results, causing the problem to either worsen or to be off in another wrong direction.

Letting God Be God

The watchman watches over a city in vain if God is not also watching out for it, because power comes from God, not the watchman or even the soldiers or the king.

I write my blog in vain if I don’t let God guide me.

I cannot force inspiration. If He erases ideas, I cannot will them to reappear. He has power even there.

Compared to Him…

I am so small compared to His greatness.

I am so foolish compared to His wisdom.

I can fight all day & talk all night, trying to be a light for God, but unless He works, I work in vain.

He is the source. He is love. He is power. He is grace.

Doing It My Way Didn’t Work

I spent all day writing & erasing this blog today.

Nothing seemed right.

I felt hopeless & tired exhausting every effort to make something out of nothing & I could not.

If God shuts a door, I canNOT open it.

He Allows, But He Has the Power to End It

It is true that He allows me to conjecture & speak in my limited level of human understanding, possibly getting so much wrong, or at least not completely right. He doesn’t prohibit the freedom of speech. You can see as much when people speak completely against His character, in hatred & lies & causing pain to others.

But if God shuts my mind or my mouth, I canNOT overcome Him.

He is GOD.

It’s Okay, We Know What to Do Here… Or Not?

So often, we try so hard to be “good people” or “good Christians” but so much of it is in vain because it is not submitted to the Almighty God.

We can believe we are completely right, with no doubt & with all passion & fervor… We can THINK our understanding is true with every fiber of our being.

But God doesn’t have to rely on thinking He knows… He DOES know… Everything.

Let Him Be God

Cling to Him. Even when everything swirls around you. Even when you try so hard to do a good thing, with zero results… cling to Him.

The unknown is at the base of almost every fear known to man. We like to feel like we have a good handle on things, & when we don’t feel that way, everything seems uncertain & dark & spinning out of control.

But God is a constant. He doesn’t get thrown off balance. He isn’t surprised. He isn’t caught off guard. EVER.

God Is Self-Sufficient, But He Chooses to Let Us Work Beside Him

In reality, God doesn’t need us to do anything for His work to be accomplished.

We may think, ‘I HAVE to share this because people need it!’

But God doesn’t need our help. He is sufficient. Completely sufficient.

God Almighty, Creator, Redeemer, & Friend

God created everything.

He sent Jesus to pay our debt for us, on the cross, for our wrongs against Him.

He. Is. Sufficient. In every possible way, God is sufficient.

A Sidekick to God, Who Is The True Hero

And that’s the beautiful thing about living for Him.

Even in our mistakes, inadequacies, failures, rebellion, insecurities, etc., God cannot be thwarted. God cannot be diminished. God cannot lose.

His will WILL be done.

He WILL get the glory.

Even those who lash out openly against God, thinking they know more than Him or thinking they have it all figured out… They are just providing another opportunity for God to show just how little we know in light of how vast & mighty He is!

But, He chooses to let us work beside Him. He loves us & wants us to find joy in His work by participating in it.

Not because He needs us, but because He wants us.

Change of Plans… Letting God Build

I am humbled today, as this was not my intended message for the week.

I wanted to flounce in here full of confidence & knock this out in a few hours.

But God wasn’t building with me, so I built in vain (aka wrote, erased, & re-wrote, & re-erased all day!)

He wanted me to have opportunity to stop & remember that it’s NOT about my wisdom or about people NEEDING to hear MY message.

It’s about taking His hand & walking alongside Him in HIS plan.

Unless the Lord builds it, I build in vain.

What About You?

What area of your life are you trying to fly it solo, even in the name of doing it FOR GOD?

What are you trying to do on auto-pilot or in your own wisdom or strength?

Take a minute to humbly lay that before God & ask Him to guide you in His plan over your own.

Let Him do the building. Let Him show you where He is building & ask where you can join in.

Let Him do the watching. Ask Him to look out for you & to teach you how to trust His protection & plan over your own.

He is able. He is oh so able.

God is sufficient for you, Darling One. Trust Him.

Coming Next

Check out our Monthly Special Feature post (every last Thursday of the month), THIS Thursday! See you then!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Nyla Set

As Nyla means “dark royal blue”, this necklace & bracelet set features royal blue glass beads on rose gold mixed metal chains.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty &create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

(*Also pictured: Northern Lights Studs from India!)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Just Imagine…

Picture this: Beautiful, lush greenery… colorful birds flitting & flying above & around you… the sound of chirps & kitten purrs & peaceful wild animals trodding about… sunny skies & calm breezes brushing against your warm skin… smelling rich aromas of flowers & the fresh scent of clean air filling your lungs… walking barefoot in soft, green grass beside God as a confidant & friend, protector & creator, loving you so fully that you feel no hint of fear or worry at all in the world.

That is my best visualization of the Garden of Eden.

All It Was Meant to Be

The Garden of Eden was literally meant to be a safe haven of perfection, full of acceptance, love, & pure joy. Just imagine how amazingly & breath-takingly beautiful & serene it was!

And yet, that one tree, with that one kind of fruit that was forbidden by God… that because of one rebellious act would eventually blur, distort, & crumble the beautiful life we were created to live out in that wonderful garden.

Let’s Go There

What was the big deal about that fruit? How could it really, seriously doom the human species to live in this broken, sin-filled world we now call home?

How could God claim compassion & even allow us to eat it… or doom the world because it got eaten?

Let’s go there.

Forbidding Was a Reflection of His Goodness & Love

For many people who become followers of Christ, we can sometimes just tend to accept the fact that it happened… the rule not to eat the forbidden fruit, the eating of the fruit, & the curse on mankind as a result… without actually stopping to consider how Him forbidding it really reflects the GOODNESS & GREAT LOVE of God.

Give me a second to explain why I specify it as an act of Goodness & Love on God’s part.

The Knowledge of Good & Evil… But Not the Capacity to Manage it…

Let’s start with the purpose & nature of that fruit. It was called “the fruit of the knowledge of good & evil.”

Think about human life now. The tendency toward stress, anxiety, hurriedness, failures, pride, selfishness, weaknesses, mental illnesses, major mistakes, hurts, fears, insecurities… & so much more that we fight to prevent throughout our lives.

Now, think about what that tree offered. The KNOWLEDGE of good & evil…. Not the wisdom of how to process or manage it. Not the knowledge of how it all fits together & how to best work it all together… just the knowledge OF it.

Why We Should Have Trusted God & Should Do So Every Day & Forever

And here is where God’s gracious, all-knowing, all-wise, ALL-LOVING GOODNESS comes into fuller display….

God knew that yes, we would gain that knowledge, but that if we did, we would then be carrying a burden & weight on our shoulders that He never wanted or intended for us to struggle & hurt under.

We gained that knowledge, but being created beings, versus the CREATOR, we don’t have the capacity to carry that weight within our own limited understanding & wisdom, & under our own limited strength & power.

He Saw It All… He Knew… & He Warned Us

He knew it would wear us thin. He knew it would cause anger & hurt & tears. He knew it would result in misunderstandings & mishandling of that information, which would in turn hurt others along the way.

He saw the ripple effect that that knowledge of good & evil would create in our lives… & all He asked was for us to TRUST HIM enough to let Him handle it FOR US so we could just relax, in a trusting, loving, safe environment.

And He still asks you & I to trust Him in the now. To turn over what we do know & ask Him to be our guide & source of wisdom to navigate this difficult world.

We Still Choose to Eat the Fruit Every Day…

And that knowledge got passed down to us… & every day, in our own ways, we choose to take the bite ourselves.

WE want to make the decisions. WE want to make the choices. WE want to run things.

Even knowing the truth, I feel my flesh rearing up as if to say, “but I want to do things THIS way!”

So Hard to Trust That He Can Do It SO MUCH Better Than Us

That’s why submitting to His wisdom, His will, & His way feels so hard! Because of what we DO know, we think we have all there is to know to best guide our own lives, even with all of the limitations that limit us.

That’s why God asks us, even now, to take His hand & to trust Him as a little child trusts a strong, loving father.

God loves us so much that He never wanted that pain for us.

Then Why Even Create That TREE?!

Maybe this information is equally freeing & frustrating to you. Maybe you see the benefit of trusting Him, but feel hurt that He even gave us the option to doom ourselves.

So why was that fruit even created? Why even dangle that irresistibly forbidden fruit in front of Adam & Eve in the first place?

Why not just remove that temptation completely so that there would be no risk of damning the world & then we could just be free to enjoy God’s intended life in paradise & direct presence & relationship with God Almighty?

You Have No Choice, You MUST Love Me…

Would that feel like true, genuine love? To have no choice? A love that is forced?

We can want to be loved so badly that we can attempt to force it on people. We can try to be likable & a people pleaser & cling to someone we feel gives us worth, even in the midst of abuse or neglect, human nature clings to the need to feel loved.

But, can love be forced? No. Why not? Because true love grows out of trust. And trust cannot be forced on people.

God Designed Us to Experience True, Unconditional Love in His Presence

God wasn’t designing us to be forced to love Him. He designed us to experience His love genuinely, built from genuine trust & relationship with Him.

So, maybe He put the tree there to allow Adam & Eve the choice to either trust in Him or to trust in themselves instead…

He wanted us to know His love through trust. He wanted us to obey, not because He felt like controlling us, but because we learn to trust Him completely.

But That Was Adam & Eve… Not ME! So Why Does the Curse Affect Me Too?

Well, as I mentioned earlier, we choose to take that bite ourselves almost every day, as we seek to live according to our limited wisdom & design.

But, there IS hope!

The Punishment Is for Our Good

Apart from the fact that we face natural consequences of wrong or misguided decision-making on our part, God also made life more difficult than it was meant to be… And He did it to bring us back to Himself.

If everything was just as easy as the Garden of Eden, we wouldn’t realize what greatness we were missing out on. We wouldn’t feel the need to look for something more. Or Someone more.

It serves as a reminder & a prod to come back under His protection & care & to allow Him to remove the burdens we face every day as a result of that knowledge of good & evil, so we may rest peacefully in His love instead.

Everything He does is just. Everything He does is His right.

And Then There’s Jesus

Everything God does is marked by His love & graciousness that He offers us in every moment that we turn to Him, & for all eternity if we accept His free gift of Jesus’ life for our debt.

You see, God is perfectly just & yes, He demands a debt be paid for our rebellion. BUT, He also LOVES us infinitely, despite our stubborn rejection.

And because of His perfect LOVE, He also sent Jesus to pay that debt FOR US, if we but accept Him.

He Is God

Turn to Him. Submit under His leadership. Ask HIM to HELP YOU trust Him.

Let me say that again, because every single one of us needs to grow in this, whether it be a pastor, the “worst” sinner, or anyone in between…

Ask HIM to HELP YOU trust Him more every day.

He is God. We are not. And that is OKAY.

Let Him be God.

He Takes Joy in Forgiveness & Redemption

Let Him cover you in HIS love, HIS power, HIS grace, HIS joy, HIS peace, HIS assurance.

He is waiting, always… & willing.

He is not there with crossed arms & a tapping foot, pointing at you, like, “Look what you’ve done! And NOW you want me to help you? HA!”

No.

He has His arms wide, a big grin on His face, waiting every moment without fail to welcome you home, with a, “Darling One, come close! Let me hug you! Let me help you! Let me cleanse you & refresh you & give you a new start. I love you always & always have, my precious daughter & I have been waiting so eagerly to welcome you home!”

Shine Hope, by trusting Him.

It’s worth everything.

Coming Next Week

Join me next Monday morning EST for some more encouragement, & next Thursday for our monthly Special Feature post! Make sure to “Join My Tribe” (subscribe) so you don’t miss out!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives for women around the world. These hand-crafted pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Inverted Capiz Earrings

These earrings feature shimmery, creamy white capiz shells, each framed by a black edge.

Artisan Information:

In the Philippines, finding employment as a woman in poverty can be extremely difficult. Poor working conditions, lack of job security, & unfair pay are often the realities. Through your purchase, these women are receiving an income, health care, & social development programs. This allows these women to realize their potential & pursue their dreams in a safe environment. You have the opportunity to change lives!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in the Philippines!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Doubts, So Many Doubts

If you have read my testimony, you have seen that my life was once defined by insufferable doubts for most of my growing up years. (Read my testimony HERE.)

I hated the tossing & turning that the doubts invoked, but I didn’t know how to find the calm amidst my slew of unanswered questions.

Saved Young, But Then…

You see, I accepted Jesus as my Redeemer & Savior when I was very young, but then the doubts of the world threatened me at every turn, & they seemed to multiply with each passing year.

I didn’t know how to quiet the questions.

I wished for childlike faith, an innocence that could easily believe.

I wished that I could turn off the doubts & live in peaceful assurance.

I wished that I didn’t feel the need to know & that I could just move on with life.

But I couldn’t figure out how.

More Friends… More Doubts

With every new friend came new opinions about religions & “gods”. Every person seemed to have their own opinions about “truth”.

But if they were all true, then none of them were true.

How could one “god” be right to one person & another be right for another person? Wouldn’t that imply that both are imagined & made up by the believer or group of believers?

It didn’t make sense to me.

So who was right?

Every Answer Stirred More Questions

No matter how many questions I asked, with every answer or explanation I was given, I was met with the exact same personal conclusion, “but they’re human… & “to err is human.”

So, whose opinion could I really trust? Which one was true? Who determined which one was true? How could anyone ever really know?

And so, because I could not trust every opinion I was given & because I didn’t know whose opinion I COULD trust, I was always brought back to square one, in my tangled mess of doubts.

Relatable?

At this point, you may be relating to me. Maybe you have wondered the same things.

Maybe you avoid asking those questions because you don’t know their answers.

Maybe you avoid acknowledging those questions exist because you’re afraid of what that means about whether your salvation is genuine (for those who have already accepted Christ).

Maybe you are intent on or content with believing your own opinions, whether they are true or not.

But, although I personally struggled through each of those “maybe” scenarios, I could not keep those questions from wanting to burst out of me.

Truth I Could Live For

I had to know the TRUTH.

Not what others WANT me to believe. Not just what others WANT to believe themselves. I wanted the TRUTH.

If God was real, I had to make a decision whether to reject or accept Him.

If He wasn’t real, I wanted to know so that I could live however I wanted, without unnecessary guilt of not following the 10 Commandments from the Bible.

But How Do You Really KNOW?

But, as I mentioned above, every answer I sought after left me right back where I started, because every answer I received stemmed from human understanding, human wisdom, &/or human knowledge.

And anything from us as humans is vulnerable to mistakes & misunderstandings & circulating misinformation.

I needed more.

Case for Christ

If you have ever watched Case for Christ, a movie that came out in 2017, it will greatly help you understand both my doubting & how I found my answer.

Case for Christ is a movie based on the true story of former atheist Lee Strobel. When his wife becomes a Christian, it sends his world in an upheaval & he embarks on a mission to use his research journalistic skills to disprove Christ.

I may not have done the extensive research that Lee Strobel did, , but my doubts weighed just as heavily, & like his experience, no proof seemed sufficient.

In the movie, there is a scene where he is pushing his wife to tell him why she would believe something he can’t prove (even though all of the professional sources he sought implied that all evidence pointed to a supreme being in existence).

Her answer was my answer & it can be paraphrased as something like this, “because He feels more real than anything I have felt in my life.”

Forever Searching… Or, Ask God for Truth

You see, I could search for proof my whole life, but it all comes down to this, will I let myself have faith?

Faith is not easy, but it doesn’t rest in having to know the answer to everything. It comes down to admitting we can’t & that God is more real than anything we can feel in this life.

If you struggle with this, take a moment to consider this: Are you willing to submit to the truth when you find it? Or are you avoiding truth, just looking for an excuse to live your way, just without consequences?

We can all admit that there are consequences to the choices we make. We live in a broken, fallen world, plagued by sin & self-led choices.

But God offers hope because He tells us the truth. It’s not up to us. It’s Him. So, submit your life to Him & let HIM show you the truth you seek.

“Lord, I Believe. Help My Unbelief!”

Be willing to pray the doubter’s prayer, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”

If you REALLY want the truth, ASK Him to show you. Stop letting your doubts torment you & finally find stability in the truth.

It can sound something like this:

“God, I am so exhausted from doubting everything about life! How can I know what is real? How do I base my life on what I don’t understand or don’t know is positively true? Help me to see the truth. If you are who You say You are, then You alone can shine straight through to the core of my doubting & shine a light of truth into it. Stabilize me & show me what to believe. I don’t want to base my life on a lie, but I don’t want to face the consequences of an ignored or avoided or misunderstood truth. So, please help me. Show me the way to truth. Lord, somehow I believe, but help my unbelief. AMEN.”

Keep Asking… He Hears You & He WILL Answer You If You Seek Earnestly

I prayed something similar for many years, not willing to give up & surrender to the great waves of doubt that tossed me to & fro in life. I wanted to feel grounded & secure. I wanted to build my life on truth, not opinion or fantasy.

Will you take that journey? Have you already come out the other side?

I no longer have those doubts, because He has cut through them to show me Himself. He knew exactly what I needed because He is GOD.

Keep seeking His face, for He knows just what you need. And once you find the truth in Him, you will see that He feels more real than anything real that you have ever felt tasted, seen, heard, or smelled…

& that’s how I know He is THE truth.

Shine Hope, Lovely… By seeking HIM.

Coming Next Week

Join me every Monday morning EST for more encouragement from one imperfect human to another.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope Is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Crystal Spring Earrings

Made from real silver and chalcedony stone, these drop earrings are so easy to throw on.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in India!

(*Also Pictured: Sea Glass Necklace from Jordan!*)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com with any questions, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

What Does it Mean?

The Bible talks a lot about prayer, so what does prayer mean, why does it matter so much to God, & what does it actually accomplish?

I Thessalonians 5:17 is just two simple words, “Pray continually,” or, as other translations put it, “pray without ceasing,” but what does that actually mean? Are we supposed to pray through every waking moment? Pretty much.

Now wait, before you go thinking something along the lines of, “but what about when I am sleeping? Or doing something else? Or concentrating on something important? How am I supposed to be expected to never cease praying?

In All Things

Now here’s one thought—think about this for a moment. Do you usually have inner dialogue with yourself—Thinking, problem solving, creating, visualizing, dreaming, etc.?

Now imagine this, God sees all of what goes through your mind—at all times. He hears your thoughts constantly. He knows everything about you, even to a subconscious level!

So why not include Him in your thoughts, problem solving, creating, visualizing, dreaming, etc.?

Just Add God

AS thoughts role through your mind, talk to God instead of to yourself. He is a faithful friend & a kind Father, waiting to spend quality time with you.

AS you are thinking through a problem, ask Him to give you wisdom & insight, because He is infinitely wise.

AS you are creating, ask for His inspiration, because He is infinitely creative! Think of all the unique qualities in just the human population alone & the intricacies of the human body. Envision God’s masterpieces in nature like clouds, flowers, snow, mountains, animals, etc.! He is creative!

AS you are visualizing & dreaming, ask for God’s input & thank Him for allowing such beauty & vastness to be imagined in just our minds!

God is pretty amazing at being God. He is humble & kind & loving. He is faithful. He is infinitely wise & creative!

We’re just asked to invite Him into the conversation. Let Him lead you with His able hands &His  loving care for you.

Why Does God Care Whether We Pray?

So why does it matter so much to God that we pray? Doesn’t He already know everything we’re thinking without us telling Him?

Well, yes. But….

To help us grasp an aspect of why prayer matters to God, I once heard the illustration of a child & her mother.

Imagine with me that the child’s teacher calls home every day & tells the mother everything that happened to their child that day, in every detail they could recall… When the child returns home, the mother then inquires about her daughter’s day, only to be met with a hurried, short answer, eager to run off & play.

The mother already knew the answer to her own questions, but she longed to connect with her daughter. How do you think it felt to be snubbed by the child you adore so much? (Maybe some moms already know the feeling from experience!)

Because God Cares About You

You see, not only is it POSSIBLE to pray continually, taking all of our concerns & cares to God, & even though God already knows EVERYTHING before we even tell Him… God WANTS to hear from us. He WANTS connection & relationship with us. He LOVES you!

Maybe we are stressed, anxious, afraid, hurting, etc. God already knows.

But our Loving Father–God– gives rest, peace, strength, power, & protection to those who seek Him out.

He will never force unwanted attention on us, but He will willingly pour it out to those who seek Him.

He wants to comfort you. He wants to figuratively hold you safe in His fortress of protection against the pain in this world. He wants to lift us up to soar like an eagle above the fray. He wants to give us rest.

All He asks is for us to come to Him & talk to Him & ask for His help, guidance, direction, wisdom, strength, hope, peace, love, joy, etc.

What’s the Big Deal?

But what does prayer even accomplish?

First of all, one of the biggest things I have noticed is that the more I pray, the more I feel His presence & peace in my life.

When we don’t pray, God is still working, but we are so distracted scrambling through each moment, too absorbed in our day-to-day chaos to even notice His presence sometimes.

Sometimes, we feel so caught up in our world that we feel like He has vanished & left us to our scramble of chaos.

But when we pray over specific things throughout the day that cause us worry or strain or even a cry for comfort, we are allowing God to show off His love for us.

Instead of His actions being vague, unnoticed background noise to our chaos, they become the foreground in a beautiful display of love & affection for us.

He Longs to Pour Love on Us Continually

It’s sort of like someone following you around trying to give you flowers & chocolates & hugs of comfort & kind words of affection… but we are juggling so much that we keep saying, “yeah yeah, not now,” without noticing their kind gestures for even a moment.

Allow God to permeate your day. Allow time to stop & receive His kind gestures of love & affection. Allow His infinite wisdom to guide & direct you through the crazy. Allow His strength to give you peace in the struggle.

He is constantly trying to show you Himself, so take time to pray through it all & allow Him room to show off His love for you. Allow Him to show you all that He is capable of in the midst of your life.

Prayer lets us see Him work. Prayer gives credit where credit is due–to God–& shines a light of “obviousness” to His workings day-to-day.

Let God Lead, Let God Shine

Allow your burdens to fall at His feet, letting Him be shown off to everyone around you, through your life. Let Him do the leading.

Maybe you have been like me & you have prayed constantly about something for which your heart ached & desired (my recent personal examples are asking to be comfortable & less lonely overseas & also for a child these past 5.5 years).

Maybe you have prayed so many times with no answer that you even feel bitter about praying even once more about it. (Definitely been there!)

Maybe you feel forgotten & hurt by God for allowing a painful situation to happen to you. (Definitely been there, too!)

But listen to me, Beautiful. God cares about you still. He CARES about you more than you can even wrap your head around. And He definitely hasn’t forgotten you & He is definitely NOT mocking you.

God hears you.

God Doesn’t Promise Easy

But listen to this as well, God tells us something that is vital to understand while living on this Earth…

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Notice the phrase, “in this world you WILL have trouble.” (Emphasis added.) God never promises this life will be easy. In fact, He tells us just the opposite.

In this world, there is sin. We are born as sinners. Sin exists & sin hurts.

We are not immune from feeling the affects of sin.

But, God

But God also has another important thing to say in that verse—“But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

You see, He will not promise that you will never face pain or struggle, but He does promise countless times, in the Bible, that He will comfort & strengthen us as we trust in Him… as we PRAY & ask Him to guide us & comfort us along the way.

Learn & Grow & Pray with Effectiveness!

We won’t always get our way, & sometimes that is simply because we aren’t asking the right question.

That is why, along with prayer, we should be learning who God is & what He promises us.

Because God KEEPS His promises 100% of the time & we can pray them with full trust that He will answer us as He promises!

In My Unanswered Prayers, God Worked WONDERS!

In my unanswered prayer for comfort overseas, God taught me that although I am weak & prone to bitterness/wandering from Him, His grace sustains me & His grace covers all of my failings!

In my unanswered prayer to have children these past almost 6 years, God has shown me that I can be fruitful for the next generation by pouring hope into other women who will in turn pass that hope onto all of THEIR children! God KNOWS my heart!!

When I thought He was ignoring me or leaving my prayers unanswered, He was still working. He was waiting for me to trust Him, lay my desires at His throne, & request of Him that His opinion & His guidance take authority over my own earthly wisdom.

He Offers Us So Much More Than We Ask!

He offers us joy in suffering, comfort in trials, strength in weakness & so much more.

So, as we learn more about who His is & what He promises us, through reading & studying His Word to us—the Bible, we can reach out & take claim of those!

We will learn how to pray more effectively the more we know Him & His promises.

Not Today, Satan!

Don’t let Satan trick you into believing that prayer is only before meals, quick & distracted by the lure of warm food. Don’t let him trick you into thinking prayer is only this formal ritual that must be performed or spoken a certain way.

God is with us always. He hears our thoughts. He knows you. So just TALK to Him!

Even in your thoughts, learn to have a conversation with Him throughout your day, letting Him in on your activities & ideas, asking for His direction & wisdom.

And if you struggle or feel resistance, don’t you dare let the devil make you think it ends there—prayer honors God, so claim that Truth & ask God to grow you in prayer! And keep asking!

The more you pray & ask God to help you learn to pray, the more God fans that flame & grows that seed of your desire to know Him.

What Can Prayer Do?

Prayer just means talking to God—out loud or in your thoughts.

Prayer matters because it’s how we see God work & it grows our relationship with Him because He cares so much for us.

Prayer accomplishes SO much because it transfers our worries & cares & struggles & insecurities & weakness to His infinite Love, Wisdom, Strength, Power, & ENOUGHness.

He fills us. He fulfills us. He guides & directs us. He comforts us. He protects us. He listens to us. He LOVES us!

So, talk to Him, Beautiful!

Start the conversation & SHINE HOPE!

Coming Next Week

Make sure to check back next Monday morning at 6am EST for more encouragement!

Also, next week will feature this month’s Special Feature post, shared every last Thursday of the month. This is my chance to share with you something a little different than the usual, so you can see a different side of me. Sometimes I share short stories, sometimes poetry, other times I will share about life in Japan, etc., so make sure to check it out!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Empowering Women in Jordan & India Out of Poverty!

This necklace features a silver-plated chain with a sea glass charm. *Sizes & colors of glass vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. These men balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles.

Because of their cleanup efforts of the beaches at the Red Sea, these women now upcycle glass from local restaurants. The glass is then tumbled with water & sand from the Red Sea.

Your purchase empowers them with boldness & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Let’s Shine Some Light in the Dark

Hello there, Beautiful.

Let’s take an opportunity to see things in new light. Let’s shine hope into a desperate situation. Let’s walk away from this with a new sense of hope for each new day, together.

Maybe…

If you are like me, maybe you feel a child-shaped hole in your heart.

Maybe you have spent countless hours with tears streaming your face, wondering why you can’t seem to have this child that your heart aches for so longingly.

Maybe you feel hurt by God, that maybe He is punishing you for your past or that maybe He just doesn’t trust you with a child.

Maybe you tell yourself you don’t need kids, just so that the bitter sadness doesn’t keep you from living each day. Maybe some days you realize this thing you tell yourself is a lie, & you cry.

Maybe you beg & plead & wonder if God can hear you.

Maybe you feel forgotten.

Maybe you feel as if your prayers go ignored or denied.

Maybe you wonder if God cares about this child-shaped hole in your heart.

Maybe.

If you are anything like me, a combination of all of those thoughts have drifted into or settled into your heart & mind.

This Doesn’t Feel Perfect

Maybe, like me, you have even felt guilt for being mad at God, for feeling like maybe He doesn’t care about your hurting heart. Maybe you feel guilt at your distrust in His plan.

You know He is perfect. You know His will is perfect. You know He is Good & He is Love.

And yet, this doesn’t feel perfect. This doesn’t feel good or loving at all.

And maybe that realization hurts your heart a little more than you’re willing to admit out loud.

Hope in the Darkness

But, Dear one, there is hope in the midst of this darkness. I promise you that.

I have been on a five-year journey of these emotions & thoughts plaguing the back of my mind. I have had five years of denial that my bitterness has grown in this hole in my heart, in place of trust in God’s perfect will, plan, Goodness, & love.

I don’t know if I am barren. I am told that everything looks good & we are cleared by the doctors for having a baby, & yet five years of attempts have left us childless.

I have had tests & ultrasounds & taken supplements to help… & yet nothing.

I have obsessed over temperature charting & ovulation testing… & yet nothing.

I have cried & begged God to answer my heart’s cry… & yet nothing.

For God’s Glory

I even wanted a child for the main purpose of raising them to be a light of God’s hope into this world… wanting to glorify God & train the child(ren) how to live a life that honors & glorifies Him so that hope will continue flowing into the next generation, long after I am gone… & yet nothing.

I have felt betrayed by a seeming lack of God’s love & favor. Watching my friends pop kids out continually while I am left… the barren woman.

I am able to push aside my hurt most often to celebrate the new lives being born into the homes of my family & friends, but the ache still lingers.

God Shines Light into the Darkness

But here is the hope, Beautiful one.

In reading through the current Bible study I am attending weekly (& working through the corresponding homework each day for the study), I came across something I had never seen before.

The study is Beth Moore’s “Breaking Free.”

The Dreams of Little Girls

In this particular study book, Beth Moore has a whole week dedicated to the dreams of little girls: to get married, be beautiful, have children (or, be fruitful), & to live happily ever after.

That pretty much nails it on the head for all of my girlhood dreams.

But here was her point… each of us have these childhood dreams that we long(ed) for, but that God can satisfy infinitely more than this world can.

Just a Shadow

It is a shadow of the deeper longing of our hearts. It is a hint of what God already promises us.

To get married–we want to feel loved & special & wanted… God fulfills this by loving & cherishing us more than we can ever comprehend. If you don’t believe me, He tells us it’s true & He will show you… Just have faith enough to ask Him to.

To feel beautiful—He thinks we are gorgeous because He created us! And when our time comes, as believers in Christ, to go to heaven, He sees us as His beautiful bride! (also satisfying our marriage desire).

To live happily ever after—(I am purposely skipping to have children (be fruitful) until the end)—but to live happily ever after points to the fact that this earthly existence is merely our temporary home. Sin has marred this world, but heaven will be amazing & beyond imagination! No tears! No sadness! Only joy & love & peace. A TRUE happily ever after!

To Have Children (Or, Be Fruitful)

And back to our childhood dream to have children (or, to be fruitful).

And this really struck me with God’s amazing provision & plan. It showed me His will & Goodness really is perfect. And His love is lacking NOTHING. Praise God!

In Beth’s section about dreaming to have children, Beth spoke to my soul by spending a majority of the lesson addressing barrenness.

There is Hope

Beth didn’t shy away from the hurt that comes with barrenness, but she did point to Scripture & the amazing reality that God has not forgotten us in our temporary (or permanent) inability to have children.

Beth started by having us read about Elizabeth. The Bible called Elizabeth a righteous woman, followed immediately with the fact that “& she was barren.” (Check it out in Luke 1:5-7.)

Then, Mrs. Moore paralleled the Old & New Testaments’ discussion on being fruitful. In the Old Testament, fruitfulness referred to making lots of babies, while in the New Testament, it often referred to being fruitful as spreading your faith in order to lead others to become new Christ-believers!

You see, while God mentions many times how children are a blessing from God & how they are gifts… & while God often talks about leading your children to follow & trust Him… He ALSO spends a significant time talking about sharing the hope of Christ!

Even More!

AND… in Isaiah 54 (you really should stop & go read that right this moment), God says that a barren woman is able to have more children than a married woman. WHAT?

You see, when those who are blessed with children are raising those children, life is a little crazy (in a good way, even if sometimes so difficult), & most of a mom’s time & energy is spent pouring into those little children to raise them to be Christ followers.

But those of us who have no children have a beautiful opportunity.

You see, we can have more “children” than a married woman because while they are raising theirs, we can pour into those women who in turn pour into their own children!

And we can pour into other barren women who in turn can pour into the lives of others!

How great of an opportunity we have to pour hope into all surrounding women & children!

Talk about fruitful!!!

God Forgives! God Never Forsakes Us! God is Good! God is LOVE!

You see, God forgave me for my past when I repented & turned to Him. He forgave me IN FULL. He is not punishing me!

God does not forsake us… He has not forgotten me!

God is GOOD. He knows my heart to raise a child to honor & glorify Him long after I am gone & He is giving me opportunity to do that in an even greater way!

God is LOVE. He knows my heart cry & my longing… & He is giving me a way!!

Lovely, consider these things with me. How wonderful & loving & Good our God is!

He Loves You

He loves you.

He loves YOU.

He. Loves. You.

HE LOVES YOU!!!

Let that sink in for a moment. Read those last few lines again.

Close your eyes with me for a moment. Take a deep breath in… & then out. And let that Truth sink into the crevices of your pained heart.

Let His love wash over you & pour into those deep crevices of pain.

Let His goodness & mercy shine into the dark corners of your heart.

He’s Got a Plan… And It’s a GOOD One!

TRUST God.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

We may not know His timing. We may not see the fruit. But we can trust that He has a good plan with a good outcome. We can trust His love & we can trust His grace & goodness.

For His Love Endures Forever. Amen.

In whatever place you find yourself right now, Lovely, shine Hope. Always shine hope.

Grace & peace be to you from Christ Jesus, our LORD.

Amen.

Coming Next Week

Two blog posts are coming next week!

Monday will be our next regularly scheduled post of encouragement for your week & Thursday will be our Special Feature for this month!

Make sure to check back with me & hopefully I can pour some encouragement into your beautiful self.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Avalon Earrings

Empowering Women Out of Poverty in India!

Made with brass & then silver-plated, these statement earrings are a nod to our Indian artisans’ culture.

Artisan Information:

The women we partner with in India do so much more than just create beautiful products. With every purchase, another woman is empowered out of poverty to be self-reliant! Women have the opportunity to earn an income, attend financial management classes, & receive education & healthcare. These women are now able to give their family a promising future because of your purchase!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Other accessories are from previous catalogs & are no longer available)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE around the world, Lovely!

Sometimes…

Sometimes, life isn’t so pretty. Sometimes, insecurities win. Sometimes, we let our desire to be good outweigh the good that God is actually calling us to do.

Whatever distractions are holding you back personally, my biggest one is doubt.

I always doubt whether my actions are led by a desire to feel or seem good, or whether they are actually led by God’s will.

Am I living to glorify myself or to glorify God?

Am I living to please man or to please God?

Am I living by my wisdom or God’s?

It is so hard to navigate some of these feelings & sometimes it makes us want to just quit & hide away in comfort. (At least, that’s how it makes me feel).

And Today…

Today, I struggled yet again with these doubts.

I don’t know all the answers. I don’t know whether God will empower me to continue this blog or to shut it down to go wherever else He may be calling me, but until I figure that out, I will keep seeking God’s direction & I will keep seeking to honor Him.

Letting My Heart Show

The following prayer resulted from brain fog. Every week seems like a battle of the will to show up & write a blog & I am constantly doubting whether it is God’s will or whether I am just trying to feel like I am doing good. (Or whether Satan is just trying to keep me from shining any light of hope into this world).

Please pray this openly & ask God to show you His will for Your life. Don’t settle for hiding. Don’t settle for less. Don’t let excuses rule your day. God is bigger. God is able.

My Prayer

“Dear God,

I am not worthy to write this blog. Why did this come in my path? Are you asking me to do this, or is it my way to not feel like I am wasting my life? I say I want to serve You, but does my life really display that as reality? Or am I just wanting to feel good about myself?

I don’t think I can do this blog. I don’t want to do this blog. I don’t feel like I have anything worthy to say that could do any real good in anyone’s life.

Is this Your way of telling me to quit the blog or is Satan trying to dim Your light in my life? It is easy for me to believe the latter because this seems like something that would honor You, but at the same time, I have so distanced myself from You over my years of bitterness that I don’t know if I can always accurately discern Your voice anymore.

I wonder sometimes if I should give up working with Trades of Hope, too, because I have failed so miserably in representing them & in supporting my team. I wonder sometimes if I should quit my Facebook page community because I am so scattered & not always professional & others seem to not even be interested in it. I want to quit this blog because I wonder what good I could realistically do for You.

I feel like a failure at everything I try to do for You. Does this mean You don’t want me doing it? Or are You trying to teach me to rely on You instead of myself?

Show me what You want from me. Make Your voice clear amidst the insecurities & fears & facing the unknown. Show me what YOU want from me.

I know that oftentimes, we like to jump to do good & claim that it’s Your will when You might have a completely different plan for us that we’re avoiding because we think we have already figured things out for You.

I don’t want that. I want YOUR will. I want to shine YOUR light. Not mine.

I feel so conflicted that I just want to slam my laptop shut & never try blogging again.

I want to quit Trades of Hope & blogging & doing LIVE videos & all of it.

I don’t want to feel this conflict anymore. It was easier when I did nothing.

I want to sit on the couch & try to tune out the hurts in the world. I want to stay in pjs & watch tv & try not to care. I want so badly to be comfortable!

But then it isn’t any easier when I do nothing because I feel the pain of seeing a hurting world pass me by & then knowing I am doing nothing to make it any better.

I am a mess. I don’t deserve to be used by You. I don’t deserve for anyone to listen to me.

I have scars & a past & insecurities & weaknesses & areas of intense pride & I struggle being gracious to the flaws of others & I constantly choose comfort over You or the people of this world that You love so much who are hurting so much.

I don’t deserve to be a part of anything You are doing in this world.

I just want to be used by You & I don’t know how.

I don’t know how, God. Please show me Your will.

I don’t want to just do things that make me feel good about myself. I want to do Your will. I want to follow Your call. I want to join in where You are already working.

Not my will, but Yours be done.

Whether I quit this blog or whether You ask me to continue writing & continue allowing myself to be vulnerable for all the world to judge. Shine through it. Even if you ask me to do something harder than this. Your will. Not mine.

I am tired of making excuses & hiding from what I don’t yet know or understand.

Be the Light & shine a path for me.

Use me how You will, God. Make me Your vessel. Shine through my brokenness. Make me Your ambassador.

Show me Your will.

I am tired of trying to force goodness. I am tired of fighting against my excuses. I am tired of trying to be strong on my own. I am tired of being dragged down by the idol of Comfort. I am tired of living for me. I am tired of fighting You.

True strength & power & wisdom & peace & GOODNESS comes from You ALONE. Help me to stop trying to create it on my own, in my own strength. Help me to submit & to draw near to You.

Whatever is holding me back from Your will, remove it. Wherever I am hiding away, expose it with Your Truth. Wash me. Cleanse me. Renew my heart & mind & draw me back to Yourself.

I want to know You. I want to serve You out of LOVE & devotion. I want others to know Your love through how I live & how I love others. I want to be self-disciplined & productive in Your kingdom. I want to serve others by expressing Your love for them. I want a real faith defined by real action. I want to know & love You more.

Don’t give up on me.

In Jesus’ Powerful Name,

Amen.”

The Truth

The Truth? I don’t have it all together. Satan tries to discourage me. But when that happens, I have a choice. I can either choose to give up & stay where I’m at… forever… OR, I can take those fears, those doubts, those insecurities, & everything else that tries to hold me back to GOD. Because that’s when the real change can happen. That’s where the power is. Don’t give up… Give it to God.

Shine Hope, Lovelies. And don’t you ever give up.

Coming Up

This Thursday is time for our Special Feature blog post for this month! Check back Thursday morning for Part 2 of “A Love Story”! To catch up with Part 1 before Thursday, read it here.

Also, as always, check back next Monday morning for more encouragement.

I am praying that this reaches the women it was meant for. God sees you, Lovely.

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

The Warrior Cuff

Empowering Women in India Out of Poverty!

This brass gold, hammered, stacked cuff opens in the back.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write & grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children & send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty & create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

(*Also shown: Empire Earrings, made by artisans in India.)

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

This Month’s Special Feature Post

Once a month, on the last Thursday of each month, I will share with you my “Monthly Special Feature Post.” This month, I am sharing with you a short story that tells a tale of LOVE.

If you’re like me, you love a good love story. Well, this one has a twist. Read more to see what I mean….

************

A Love Story

She turned the heat up a smidge in her car as she glanced up at the building that would now be her place to visit every Sunday through Friday. Her job as the new church secretary started Monday, but since this was a church, she would now be attending their services, after saying goodbye to her beloved former church friends further South.

Her nerves were all scrunched up & racing everywhere at the same time as she looked back on the events that led her to this moment… this change.

It had been a crazy last eight years or so… with falling in love, to praying about marriage, to feeling that door slam in her face with unrest & fleeting peace about her desires to move forward with her relationship… to breaking his heart & crushing her own in the process.

Then, she had proceeded to breaking her friend’s heart, who had maybe fallen for her in the process of leaning on him too heavily for support through her own heartache.

It had all been a wreck, chaotic & painful. Even now, the memories felt somewhat sharp.

But she had worked to move on. She had read “When God Writes Your Love Story” by Eric & Leslie Ludy. She had been inspired, through that book, to not try to fashion a love story & to not tirelessly strive to hopefully be enough to lead a relationship to success in her own wisdom or efforts.

She had had the opportunity to be stuck in traffic for several hours with an aunt she had barely known, but who left a lasting impression of hope & wisdom & adventure that comes with trusting your singleness & your everything to God alone & letting Him fill you with the love your heart ached so badly for previously.

And even amongst her long talk with her aunt, she had held rewarding jobs, gone to & graduated from her dream college. She had trusted God through a relationship she hoped for, instead of leading it with flirtation, allowing God to take the lead, & therefore being rewarded with a friendship she could still claim today, after realizing it wasn’t God’s will for them.

These last eight years had grown her so much. She had a new perspective now. She no longer pined after the fantasy of living in a romance movie. She no longer clung to that idea as her only hope to feel worth & affection & love that she longed for so badly.

She felt more confident & secure than ever, even if she never married at all. And at a few years away from thirty, this was huge. She finally felt free to live her life for God & not rely on or strive after the love of a man ever again.

Sitting in her car, looking up at the building, she smiled & sighed a contented sigh… not one that she just happened to be feeling this morning, but a new peace that had been washed over her for several years, through the growth in her relationship of knowing God more & more… Of knowing that He really was enough to fill her heart & give her peaceful contentment in singleness. It was a gift that she treasured almost every single day.

She knew that God was the only one who saw her future. He was the only One who knew what pain or trials she would face & He was the only One who knew the right person with whom to ride it all out, even if that was just being her & God. God would take care of her. God was the only One who saw her future & He was the only One who knew what she needed for her future. He had this taken care of completely.

God knew her better than she knew herself. She could trust God, even in being “alone.”

So here she sat, glancing back up at this modest church building in Northern Virginia, on a crisp October Sunday morning—her new church & her new job. She didn’t know what the future held for her here, or what lessons she would learn, but she knew God did, & that was enough for her.

As she stepped out of her car, with purse & Bible in hand, she smiled.

Her new adventure awaits beyond those old wooden doors.

************

The church service was encouraging. The final song of the morning left her uplifted & hopeful of her time to come in this new place.

She had glanced around & noticed that the church was mainly comprised of white & gray-headed, friendly faces, as well as her longtime friend & his wife (also a longtime friend), who had recommended this job to her.

An announcement had been made about her joining the church staff & the church, in general, & friendly faces began to swarm around her with warm welcomes, hugs, & handshakes.

Then a young man.

He said something along the lines of, “We’re so happy to have you. Welcome to our church!” There was no hint of flirtation in his smile, just a genuine kindness, but her guard immediately shot up. She recognized quickly that he seemed to be the only other single young adult in the church & she did NOT want to become THAT girl to him—the only option for a date.

She plastered on a smile to cover her instant panic mode as she shifted nervously to shake his outstretched hand.

Being completely uninterested in starting any romantic relationships & not wanting to ever accidentally lead someone to believe otherwise (because she could not stand the idea of breaking someone’s heart again–or feeling that heartache herself, again), she felt it best to avoid him at all costs from here on out.

It was just safer that way.

************

After working at the church for several weeks, she left the auditorium laughing at whatever funny thing someone had just said, after church had just let out. She had a couple hours to kill before a special staff meeting began, so she decided to go plunker down in her cozy office chair to play Mahjong until then.

Striding confidently into the front office, toward her desk, she stopped abruptly upon realizing that the young man who had been so kind to her on her first Sunday was sitting in one of the chairs in her office (or really, the front office, near the parking lot).

He looked up at her & smiled politely.

A mental run-through of her options whooshed through her mind at lightning speed, Oh crap! Okay, he’s seen me, but maybe I can play it off & make an excuse for somewhere else I have to be… But crap, I can’t think of anywhere else I have to be & I just jolted to a stop in front of him, so it will be too obvious! I have to play this cool & just stride to my desk with a minimal polite nod & say a quick “hello” so I don’t give a bad impression, since I am staff here. I can do this, just go & nod & sit & look busy. Okay, go.

So, she did just that.

And he smiled back, quickly informing her that his ride was coming soon because he had carpooled to church this morning & then following with the fact that his ride had just gone to run a quick errand & would be returning soon to pick him up.

Hopefully very soon.

She smiled politely & said something lame, like, “Oh neat,” while shifting nervously in her chair, trying to look calm & really, really busy.

He didn’t take the hint, as he asked how she was doing & whether she was enjoying her new position here & whether she felt she was adjusting well.

She answered politely, but only enough to seem super busy while still remaining professional & just polite enough as she felt it necessary.

He then scooted his chair up to her desk so that they wouldn’t have to talk across the room.

Great. Just great.

She panicked a little now, nonchalantly pivoting her screen so he wouldn’t discover that her very important work was actually an unimportant game of Mahjong.

He asked about her life & what had brought her here, but only in a friendly, non-pushy or weird way. He talked about how he had just graduated from college as well & how he was back in town now, attending his parents’ church (his pending ride home) until he found somewhere with more young adults. He also told her that he felt a little alone in the church, friendship-wise, because there were so few his age (other than the married couple mentioned earlier). He had been praying about finding a new church, but felt God nudging him to stay, so he was giving it until December to decide (it was now late November).

She smiled politely, secretly wishing someone would come & break up their conversation. She really, really didn’t want him getting warmed up to her & thinking that she could be his new best friend & then potentially end up breaking his heart as well. She would NOT do that again. Her heart couldn’t handle it.

Despite her wall of determination, he said something randomly that made a burst of laughter erupt from her mouth & she struggled against the tears of laughing too hard.

Before she knew what was happening, the next ten minutes were spent suggesting to one another & then searching for funny videos on YouTube, watching them, & then erupting in laughter all over again.

Okay, he was nice, but she did not want to be friends with him. That always led to heartbreak, because her friendliness always got misinterpreted as romantic interest & confusion of feelings… & heartache almost always followed.

She needed an out for this conversation. Soon.

Her wish was granted as a car pulled into the lot. His parents. Finally.

He thanked her for the laughs, gathered his stuff, & headed out the door.

She had to admit, begrudgingly, that jollity still hung in the air a little as he left.

************

That night, as she lay sprawled across her still-made bed, browsing Facebook on her laptop, she noticed a little white notification bubble on Facebook.

It was a friend request…

From him….

… Oh no….

************

That accepted friend request (because really, how could she be supportive staff & be so heartless as to say ‘no’ to being a friend to someone who just recently expressed their need for more friendships?), but that accepted friend request inevitably led to daily chats about life & regular laughter.

His chats with her were becoming something that she would smile about when going about her day.

She purposely avoided any conversation that could be misinterpreted as flirting & even made comments to make her thoughts known about her disinterest, but it felt good to have a new friend, after recently moving back to Northern Virginia.

She was careful to indicate her intentions of avoiding any & all relationships, but in a non-assuming way (just to be sure). She wanted to be sure that he knew this was “Friend Zone City.” Only.

But the talks became regular & expected. And she couldn’t deny that she was glad for it.

… Until one momentous, heart-stopping moment.

As she logged on Facebook that night, a message indication bubble was waiting for her.

She clicked on it & regretted it the instant her eyes finished skimming the message.

He had asked her to dinner for the next evening. She panicked.

Crap! Crap crap crap crap CRAP!!!! What was happening?!? Hadn’t she been clear enough? Why was this happening to her?!? She had been careful, she had been SO, SOOO careful! She had even been close to being unnecessarily blunt about it!! Yes, they had shared prayers & laughter, but why?!?! Why was this happening?!?

After panic ebbed a tad, she started frantically praying about it, her eyes growing red & puffy with fear & panic & dread.

She decided on a solution….

She would pretend like she hadn’t read the message until Friday was already over & then she could brush it off as an “Oh, oops!” & smile & everything would be okay.

That would avoid hurting him & she could move on & hope he got the picture.

So that was the plan.

WAS the plan.

But as she was browsing Facebook, distracted & laughing at something else she had just read, another message bubble popped up.

She absentmindedly clicked on it, still chuckling.

It was him, asking a question about something or other. She answered without stopping to think about it, still caught up in the hilarity of the thing that had just brought her laughs.

Then it happened. He wrote her again…

“Oh great! You ARE online. I thought you weren’t because of the other message being unanswered. Did you get it?”

Her face flushed. The room suddenly got ten times smaller. Frustration at herself welled up inside her & threatened to overflow into an onslaught of verbally assaulting herself with accusations about having ONE job to keep herself clear of facing this exact situation, & then proceeded to HORRIBLY failing at that ONE job.

Great. Just great.

As she tried to play it off & play it cool, he wouldn’t let it go. He asked her again, right there.

“So, I had asked about dinner. Do you want to go with me to dinner tomorrow night?”

He was relentless!

Panic took over as she threw an adult temper tantrum in her room. Crying & begging God to remove this situation from her, not wanting to get in this kind of mess again. She laid there in defeat, agonizing over what to do next, to keep from hurting him… to keep from going down this road again.

This was exactly why she DIDN’T want guy friends. She did not want to break someone’s heart AGAIN.

She couldn’t handle it.

She considered quitting her job & going anywhere else.

She knew that wasn’t mature or the right answer. She kept praying.

God reminded her then of two things she had been learning & praying about over the last several years.

One, only God knew what she really needed. He saw past the surface. He saw past the present. He knew the potential that He created in each person. He saw her needs better than she knew them herself. She couldn’t judge accurately… only God could….

And two, she had promised God that because she had given up flirting or dating or anything that would lead a guy to her by her own efforts… she had also promised God that if someone had the guts to ask her out despite all of those things, she would trust that as a sign & agree to a single date with them.

And so here she was, at the brink of potentially doing the one thing she hated doing the most & had sworn that she would never risk doing again–potentially breaking a great guy’s heart by letting him feel something for her (or getting her own heart broken again, in the process).

She hoped, by one last hope, that she could deter him & that he would spare her of the fear of hurting him, so she made one last attempt at steering him away…

“So, who else is coming tomorrow?”

“Oh, just the two of us.”

Crap.

“Well, okay…. Um, I don’t have a lot of money right now, so maybe if we did something cheap….”

“Oh, well I am paying for us, so don’t worry about that.”

Double crap!

“Well, um, my planner is in the car, so I can check if I am free when I go out to get it in the morning… Hopefully I don’t forget, but I’ll try to remember.”

“That’s okay. I’ll pick you up at 7pm tomorrow.”

… … … …

“Um…. What? But I didn’t….”

“Alright, I have to head to bed. See you tomorrow night!”

And he’s gone…. And so was her chance to get out of this.

… What in the world just happened? How did that…? Why did he…? But she didn’t even….
What just happened?

She stared wide-eyed at her computer screen long after he signed off, her jaw dropped & her face flushed with shock.

What just happened…?

************

… To be continued.

Coming Next Week

***Check back on next month’s Special Feature Post (the last Thursday of each month) for Part 2 of “A Love Story.” I hope you have enjoyed it so far & I look forward to revealing the rest soon!***

Monday, I will continue with my regular posts of encouragement to you, so I will see you then!

I hope you enjoyed this month’s Special Feature Post!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Sea Glass Necklace

Empowering women out of poverty in India & the Jordan!

Artisans recreate the look & feel of sea glass by upcycling glass bottles from local hotels & restaurants that would otherwise be discarded, & tumble it with water & sand from the Red Sea, until it is smooth & resembles the beautiful pieces found in on seashores. Sizes & colors may vary.

Artisan Information:

Many Jordanian women have their lives controlled by their closest male relative. They balance many customs at home, creating a lack of independence. Some of these women are divorced, widowed, or married to a man who may already have many wives. But amid struggles, these women we work with arrive to a family-like workplace. They can be heard singing, laughing, & drinking tea while creating our unique jewelry made from upcycled glass bottles. Your purchase empowers them with confidence & financial independence for the first time!

Purchase this piece & empower a woman in Jordan!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!

I Understand When… 

Wow, that’s quite a statement, isn’t it? “Obeying God, even when we don’t believe Him?”

Now, I get obeying Him when it comes to serving the poor, being gentle & gracious to others, etc. etc. flowers & rainbows.

I even get obeying Him when it’s hard, but when I can also see it being necessary, like surrendering my stress & trials to Him instead of attempting to do it myself….

It may take me some time, but I can wrap my mind around & accept obeying Him in those situations & on those terms.

But…

As humans, it is our nature to assess the world around us & to consequently establish judgements about what we believe in or what we should do about a certain situation… And act accordingly.

But God asks us to obey Him, even when we DON’T believe Him.

That right there is quite the challenge for me (& that’s putting it lightly).

We (or maybe it’s just me) like to pick out the verses that sound great to us… or those that benefit us… or those that make sense to us… & the rest… well, we sometimes, maybe neglect those completely.

Candy Bowl of Goodness

It’s easy to picture God’s Word as a candy bowl, an analogy I read recently, where we pick out the pieces that look good to us & sort of avoid the rest.

But God’s Word can be trusted through & through. Not because it makes sense to us & not even because we necessarily have to agree with all of it… But because it’s GOD’S WORD.

As the Creator of the Universe (including us, by the way), Lord of lords, King of Kings, Alpha (beginning) & the Omega (end)… He knows what He’s talking about.

And we don’t always have to “get it” for it to still be the Word of God.

Not a Genie… but, GOD

He offers so many promises of blessings, including the free gift of salvation & redemption of our wrongs, but He is still God… not our genie.

I am sure my Mom will be quick to tell you that I am a stubborn person & quite strong-willed, in most cases, (mothering me was quite the task, wasn’t it, Mom? Phew!) & I don’t like supporting or doing anything that goes against what I feel is right or fair… or what I want, to be frank.

But even when we DON’T believe Him & when we can’t seem to agree with Him, God still asks us to obey Him anyway.

That right there is one tough pill to swallow & it has been one of this biggest causes for rifts in my relationship with God.

Quick Detour

Now don’t get me wrong, God doesn’t want us to be blindly following Him as the dictator over our lives, never allowing us to question or doubt. He understands that we are finite in our understanding. He understands questions.

So ask them.

If you don’t understand why God says a certain thing, ask Him for wisdom & insight. Ask Him to teach you how to trust Him.

He can handle it.

But it’s not okay to just do what we want just because we don’t understand, without bothering to bow before Him & ask for wisdom & understanding of His will–because He is still God, & we are not.

There is so much I DO love about what God’s Word teaches us, though, without a doubt….

What I Love

I love that He forgives. I love that He is patient with me & He loves me. I love that He gives us a new beginning & works to see our potential blossom for His glory. I love that He offers us so much help & security & peace when we turn to Him in trials. I love that He offers abundant life & an opportunity to guide us into a life of blessing others each day. I love His never-ending patience with my stubborn heart.

I love all of those things!

But, Again…

But… I don’t really like obeying things on which I cannot put my own personal stamp of approval or understanding.

I like to read His Word, match it against all of my earthly, limited understanding about the world, & then decide for myself which I should obey or ignore.

Because I obviously know way better than God does.

Wait….

Ouch

Yeah, it sounds stupid when I say it like that… but isn’t that what I am essentially saying, when I pick & choose my “Choose My Own Religion” concepts to either obey or discard?

To have this abundant life that He promises… To see the potential that He uniquely created within each of us… To really be a blessing & a light to the world around us, we have to stop picking & choosing what we want to obey in God’s Word.

His Word comes as a package deal. It is not meant for snacking on the sweet sections that we like, but rather, the Bible is written as a well-rounded meal meant to nourish & sustain us.

Applies to Everything

I am not going to get into specific areas that people tend to use this method of picking & choosing what they either obey or toss out of God’s Word, because that will probably cause more dissention than edification…

But I think we can all think of one or MANY areas where we tend to do this… (Let’s just focus on ourselves for this, because we can’t parent everyone else.)

When we are faced with those types of situations, it is important for us to be “slow to speak & quick to listen” (James 1:19).

Slow to Speak, Quick to Listen

Many people take this verse to mean that we should be patient with others & become good listeners… But I heard one leader describe it this way (to paraphrase):

“When God asks us to be slow to speak & quick to listen, He is asking us to be careful about speaking up for God. We tend to get fired up about topics & we want to spew what we know about God back at them as a counter argument. But God is complex. His ways our higher than ours. And while we shouldn’t neglect speaking up for Truth, we should be careful in speaking to a specific situation, in God’s name. Unless you see outright harm being done to another person, we need to take the time to step back & ask God to shine wisdom on the situation & to show you the best course of action for that specific situation & even to give you tact & wisdom to know how to respond in a right & effective way. Because while we may think we know & understand a lot, we don’t know or understand everything… Give God a chance to lead the situation with His higher wisdom, for His higher purposes.”

That right there. I need that advice. A LOT.

God’s Got This

Because I may think I know a lot, but I do not understand everything.

But God does.

So, when we are met with a frustrating situation or an injustice or wanting to stand up for what we passionately believe is right… We need to learn the wisdom of stepping back, kneeling in prayer, & asking God to shine His wisdom & Truth into our hearts so that we can address the situation in a way that honors God & respects the situation from angles you may not understand.

God is enough, Lovely. We may not understand everything, but that’s okay because God does & He is fully worthy of our trust & obedience.

In Everything, for Our Good

I read a verse yesterday that really spoke to this Truth:

“Now if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort & salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort and salvation.” (2 Corinthians 1:6)

You see, whether we are facing something difficult or whether we are comforted, God intends it all for our good.

He can be trusted whether we agree with or understand Him… or not, because He is a Good God. And even if we struggle believing that, He is still God & He knows how He designed this world to work best.

So entrust your worries & frustrations & injustices to Him & ask for His wisdom & grace to be poured into the situation, instead of agonizing over how you believe it should work.

Ask Him

And when you come across something in the Bible that you don’t understand or agree with, ask Him to help you understand it. Ask Him to give you wisdom. Ask Him to give you faith, even when yours might feel miniscule.

Because God is enough to fill in the gaps of misunderstandings & shortcomings. And He is enough to know what is the right way, even when we don’t always understand or think we agree.

Just Trust… & Obey.

Shine Hope, Lovely… Wherever God has you in life right now… Shine HOPE.

Coming Next Week

Check back here this Thursday for our Monthly Special Feature post (every last Thursday of the month), where I share something a little different than usual.

I like to share helpful tips & tricks, share about my life in Japan, & write short stories & poems… & this is a fun way that I can share them with you & allow you to see a different part of me. I hope you enjoy!

ALSO, join me Next Monday morning for my next encouraging blog post & make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss it!!

A Note from Michelle:

If you would like to hear more of my story, check out the “About Me” page. And if you would like to hear how I found my lasting source of HOPE, read the “Hope is Found” page, on this site. I hope they are an encouragement to you! <3

Also, make sure to “Join My Tribe” by adding your email to the top bar & clicking “Join My Tribe”. This gains you access to an extra weekly dose of encouragement from me in your inbox, along with the link to each week’s new post! I can’t wait to do this journey together!!

Weekly Special Spotlight:

Each week, I will feature an item that is changing lives. These pieces are offering job creation opportunities for women artisans in impoverished nations all around the world! Check out this week’s featured beauty!!

Jeweled Necklace

Empowering women out of poverty, in India!

Wear this necklace long or doubled. Made out of iron wire, glass beads, and nickel-free plating.

Artisan Information:

The poverty cycle in India continues primarily because of the lack of education. Most schools are not free or affordable. Therefore, many children never learn to read or write and grow up with limited opportunities. However, every purchase of this product empowers women to provide for their children and send them to school! You have the opportunity to end poverty and create an impact for generations to come!

Purchase this piece and empower a woman in India!

Shop Here, OR, Email me at michelle@michellehydeonline.com, & I will message you personally with more information!! Thank you for inspiring HOPE, Lovely!